Friday, December 17, 2021

As Time Goes By: Series 9


I'm still not ready. And the worst part is on two fronts, if you were watching the series live back then you would have had to wait I kid you not 2 years for the final series. Yeah, after series 8 ended in 2000 it took until 2002 for the show to return and wrap up. But not only that, it is 4 episodes long, plus a nice little end special so they really had to buckle down and finish everything up. On the plus side though, huzzah to the bride and groom! Now that wasn't such a chore now was it? Nine bloody series and Judy and Alistair are married at last, and it takes the majority of the series with only one episode to finish up Sandy's romance with a pretty monumental step. But hey what do I care, everyone has their happy ending! It does do a number on Jean though but Lionel is always there for her, and the series proper at least in my opinion ends on a perfect note. Now would I necessarily say the hour long special is bad? Not at all, it's a clipshow within the narrative sort of situation with Lionel asked to write another book and Jean suggests it being about how they reconnected, as we watch bits of older episodes throughout. Nothing wrong with it, has quite a few of my favorite laughs and scenes in it, but I would say it isn't entirely necessary viewing. It's without question for the loving fans who have been there since the beginning, and it really puts it into perspective in terms of time. Not just for the series but my rewatching it. 3 weeks of watching this lovely show and it seems over too quick. Also to add onto that is the fact that this is the last review of the year, sorry Spider Man fans but this is the end. Who really knows what will come next year? We're mighty close to the 900th review and the 7th anniversary. The future is a big place, who knows where we'll end up. But until then how was the show as a whole? The last series gets the 4 star treatment, one last 10/10, and I'll be stunned if another show can surpass the record this show implemented. It's a lovely show, doesn't try to be big or grand, and fully deserves more love and attention without question. I treasure it unconditionally just like I do our main cast, I couldn't stop praising them if you got me going. It's almost a show that doesn't require a review, you just watch it and can enjoy it. But I had to do it justice and I do appreciate you putting up with my tangents. And on this bittersweet bombshell, it is time to end. Thank you so much for spending some time with me this year talking movies, and I of course wish you nothing but the happiest and safest of new years every single day. Take care of yourself, and goodnight.

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

As Time Goes By: Series 8

God help me, only one series left.

I'm not sure if I can handle saying goodbye. But as the penultimate series goes, with 6 episodes instead of 7 it goes to some places and poses some big questions. I mean it starts off innocently enough with more comedic episodes like Lionel being followed constantly by a dog and they soon wonder if another member of the family is welcome, and an episode with Lionel and Sandy meeting in an unwanted position and they try their best to cope with it while Jean makes a bigger mess out of it, so far so fun. Then the last three episodes happen, Penny and Steven are thinking about moving to Spain, Lionel comes to a decision regarding his family home, and Alistair quite literally goes for broke. So you get a balance of comedy and drama, once again not ending on a perfectly happy note but it's brighter than ones we have seen before. I think this is the biggest leap in quality in terms of filming, turns out this series was being filmed in 2000 and you can very discernably tell the difference, I mean it looks like 2005 Doctor Who to me with the image quality, and the camera work gets a lot more involved than A camera and B camera with a few panning shots. I mean the fact alone this show started in 1992 and still was airing in the new millenium is pretty spectacular that it got that kind of run. It's not exactly Eastenders, so color me impressed. Jean sure gets more involved than usual this time, playing matchmaker at any point and as usual overthinking situations, lord knows I treasure her but thank God she has Lionel to be her rational side. Though mind you, Lionel is super grumpy and speaks his heart and mind a good deal this series, I genuinely think the standout scene of this whole series is when he tries to properly explain in words why he loves Jean so much. It's not that long a scene, but every word is genuine from the heart and he speaks very intimately but plainly. He treasures this woman and loves her unconditionally, not a shadow of a doubt he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and very much like Jean Pargetter I am a hopeless romantic. That's when you know you've struck gold with someone, when you can be completely honest how you feel about them, always enjoy their company, can appreciate silence together, and wouldn't dream of having anyone else. Contrary to popular belief, it ain't all about the hey hey. I don't want any hey hey I want what they have, because it's lovely and charming. But you bastards are still playing my heartstrings like a harp from hell, we were on the verge of greatness we were this close to having them back together. I swear on all I hold dear, I do not need to see them married I just need to see Judy and Alistair as a couple, if you cannot give me that in the last series there will be no 10/10. I said what I said. So let it be written, so let it be done. This series though, 10/10! Gold sticky star! Do not f*** this up. Just kidding, I know it will wreck me emotionally.

Monday, December 13, 2021

As Time Goes By: Series 7

Well this is it, final run.

Very much the series that focuses on relationships across the board this time. Sure the show focuses on it in some way, but the majority of the episodes here harp on what each of our respective main cast are doing in the love department. Not so much the hey hey but you know what I mean. Lionel and Jean are still happy and content, with a pretty big step for Lionel taking zero issue with Jean meeting a close guy friend from her past which let's face facts not many men would be at such ease. They act a bit more childish from time to time which is nothing but highlights material for me, that they can act so silly yet so lovely is rather hard to do in writing and acting without it coming off as gag me with a spoonful of diabeetus. Judy and Alistair slowly make their way round to a big commitment, Sandy is having nothing but trouble with her boyfriend Harold, Steven and Penny are on another one of their rows, yet strangely seem to be on good footing at the same time, we even get a brief glimpse into the bizzare relationship of the next door neighbors. Obviously some of it is for comedic effect, but it does take time to show the different kinds of loving relationships one can have over time. And hell the series ends on a pretty down note, a very subtle down note even. It still has it's humor but it's a bit of a rotten situation for our girls, and you never want to see that. But what I appreciate so much here about the writing is you don't get the sense the writers wanted anyone to actually hate Alistair or Harold, they don't turn into horrid, shallow, cunniving asses, I'd dare say Alistair is on top form better than ever here giving ample dedication to the family and still shining so bright as his own flashy self. I aspire to have his confidence in life, bless this man for all time. Lionel is a touch more grumpy this time around and I cherish it so, I couldn't possibly stop raving about this man if I tried, my king I shall be worthy to be like you. One day. Turns out though I was a bit wrong about the last series' finale, I somewhat figured we would see Jean and Lionel in Barbados but then I thought this is the BBC, they don't have that much money. It's a solid season that brings more comedy into it I think, has some fun, progresses the story and characters, and does make you wonder if everything will turn out well. So the rating is of course, a 7/10. Goodnight everybody! Nah, it's a 10. 4 stars, great times be had, is this wedding happening or not? Stop teasing me, let me have this! Let me have the love, you teasing cowards!

Friday, December 10, 2021

As Time Goes By: Series 6

God we are wrapping this up quick, it'll be a crying shame to see it end.

Back on the home front this series for the most part, we spend a fair good share of time with the girls this series. It really seems like Judy and Sandy have some more to give, Judy explores a new relationship, Sandy has quite a worrying experience with a stalker and has some issues with Jean's work, and they both help for the big surprise for Jean at the end of the series. The attention doesn't shift from Lionel and Jean but it's very appreciated to see them do more than usual. Heck Lionel is very much completely settled in the house and is content with not working much, and goes full on dad mode with the girls which shocker, I completely treasure with all of my soul and hope I can be even close to his persona in my life. But Jean couldn't be more overtaxed if possible, having a real dilemma if she should retire or not to the point she sees a therapist, she's very stressed this series and I don't like seeing her in such a state. They even have their first proper big argument as a couple, of course it's over something trivial but it gets sorted in the end. Not long after that Lionel is being more dedicated to surprising Jean, leading to the finale which I can't remember if it has much impact on series 7. It'll come back to me. Again, pretty solid season here and I know people are gonna have a hard time accepting the whole show is a 10/10, but I don't give that rating lightly and again I don't have anything to complain about. This is more of a getting the show more recognition than a proper review, I really can't fathom it dropping lower than a 9/10 in all honesty. It's something I've wanted to review since honestly before all this review show stuff started and any chance I get to spotlight something I love is top orders. See you next week for the final round.

Wednesday, December 8, 2021

As Time Goes By: Series 5

We very much settle down a bit after last time.

I believe this is the first series that has cut down episodes, the show started at 6 and eventually got to 10 episodes per series but now it's down to 7, and usually I give a show tremendous good grief over that (Gotham WHYYYYY??!) but it doesn't bother me here. The majority of the series has Jean and Lionel semi-inheriting Rocky's place as they get acquainted with the neighbors and spend more time there, the mini-series premieres over in the States, and Penny is convinced she's at death's door. So we dial back a bit and get comfy spending some time with Rocky and Madge and of course Mrs. Bale which is always lovely, but poor Lionel and Jean have to deal with some characters out there which while funny is hard to stomach these absolute nonces and you want our happy couple to get some relaxation. It just sort of dawned on me in the last episode that, Jean looks like she just walked off the set of Goldeneye I mean her hair is exact, and I miss her in that series man. She has had such an expansive career and easily is one of the strongest british acting icons in the past few decades, but I kinda keep forgetting this series was in the 90s cause you really don't notice the time period that much. It's not like they throw a Tamagotchi or JNCO pants at you, so I mean really you could tell me this was a lower budget series made by the BBC a few years ago and I wouldn't have much cause to doubt you. Alistair and Judy are kind of on thin ice and they get some bonding time which is nice, I mean Judy bless her has been so lovely and fully deserves a good crack of the whip in the romance department (Hey hey...) so I'm fully in support of their relationship here. I had a real nice time with this series, and to know we are 5 series in and it doesn't feel out of steam or winding down must be commended, it proves you don't need to keep upping the situations, dilemmas, or stakes for each subsequent season but still have that enjoyable and satisfying feeling in the end. And another realization I just now had is the show doesn't signpost much, I think the most we got was the hint that Lionel and Jean were gonna tie the knot, it's such a laidback show that it doesn't need to give any incentive to come back for the next series because you most likely will. I can't name a show that does that. 4 stars! 10 out of bloody 10! And we are about halfway to the end, see you next time.

Monday, December 6, 2021

As Time Goes By: Series 4

Whoo boy, we've had some breaking news this series.

Quite a bit happens here from the word go, Sandy has moved in with Lionel and Jean as Lionel tries coping with so many women in the house, further progress is made in terms of the mini-series, Judy gets some romantic hurdles to jump, and the tiny small fact that Lionel proposes to Jean and they get married!! Ohhhh my God, ffuuuuu-

I lost it man. I genuinely lost it and this is not the first time I have seen this whole show but it snuck up on me something fierce. This show alone is the biggest example of saying screw your rubbish writing of other shows, where they do this tired old nonsense of having a couple get married on the last episode of the show because they don't know how to write a married couple so they take the easy way out. Bollocks! Proving once more why this is the romance show to end all romance shows! Hell Lionel proposes halfway through this series, the other half is them prepping for the wedding and the aftermath. We still have 5 more series' to go people, jump on this ship now. And I think I finally broke it down, I took a critical eye to why the writing works so well and I buy this couple more than really any other normal couple on television. Because Jean and Lionel, they are so normal but they have this acknowledgement of their behavior. They do act silly, they do make mistakes, they do go off on tangents but they recognize it and accept it as partners. They poke fun at the other's behavior, they ask the other why they get so swept up in their own mind, but the love and patience is all there. When Judy gets a brief love interest Jean gets overconcerned and starts leaping to conclusions while Lionel takes it more in stride and asks her why she makes a big fuss when it's quite okay. They balance each other out so much, it's this flip flop game where one starts worrying or making a big issue out of nothing and the other helps them get back down to earth, from huge topics like relationships and weddings to the most mundane things like taking down some curtains. It doesn't do sub par, tropey, write it in your sleep dialogue or situations. It's very real and doesn't even divulge too much into the lovey dovey stuff, though there is some and charms the hell out of me everytime. They earn that romantic scene. And not every episode ends on a laugh or very sweet moment, there are episode that end not so much on an open ended way but in a way where there isn't a clear resolution. That's life. There isn't always a happy ending or a convenient ending wrapped in a big bow with each situation. And it works because the cast make it work, Judi and Geoffrey are effortlessly perfect in these roles and I stress the show could not have made it past the opening episode without them. I know they're actors, but the love I see is genuine. They're not sex drived teens, they're not this odd couple tit for tat schtick, yeah they can be childish and bicker at times but there is a difference between good writing that incorporates such elements and sitcom writing where it is an end unto itself. They take solace in silence or even speaking very little to each other, they know their faults and yet admit them and move past it, they don't try to be perfect but the other sees such a wonderful thing about them. I don't see that in media much, why do you think I gave such insurmountable praise to Her and Lost In Translation? Not just because they are phenomenal, beautiful, perfect pieces of cinema but because they got the romance angle down even though it was different situations, Her was a lot about the long distance relationship and kinda about cheating and having to let someone you love go, Lost In Translation is a movie that has a love much more deeper than most romances that sadly have to part ways despite the amicable solace found in one another. As Time Goes By is about starting from scratch and that marriage is not the end all be all of a relationship, time is relative and it's never too late to find that beloved someone. All different facets of a relationship, but all just as powerful and important. Get off my lawn if you don't know the score yet. 10/10!! 100/100!!! Do I need to go on? Really? Five more series of praise and love, you're welcome to read it but you know the end game and so do I. See you next time everyone.

Friday, December 3, 2021

As Time Goes By: Series 3

A lot of stuff happened this series.

It feels like now that we've had two solid seasons of setup they're picking up the pace and giving us more. Lionel and Jean have their first big row, Lionel moves in, Rocky gets married and we finally meet Madge, our lovely couple takes a holiday in Paris, Jean and Lionel start learning to live together, a new branch of Jean's business opens, and Lionel is in talks with America to make a mini-series. So life gets more busy for the both of them but it seems only logical this is the next step for them in a relationship. Lionel flat out asks if she would like to move in and it seems very real their first day living in together, being super polite and proper before they go back to being themselves. It's incredibly factual about couples in that respect, and it's just lovely seeing them be domestic now. I have no idea how the writers encapsulate so much of living with that particular special person, it doesn't center on just the lovey dovey romance but is very realistic and blunt with all it's aspects. I'm actually very surprised they made Rocky and Madge's wedding the second episode, you would almost think they would save it to the end to get that nudge about Jean and Lionel getting married, but I really don't mind. It's a lovely wedding and we finally get to meet Madge played by Joanna Sim who could not be more on the same level as Rocky in terms of personality, passion, and love. They know they might not have a lot of time left in this world but it doesn't stop them from fully devoting themselves to one another. It's quite genuinely the goal every couple should strive towards, always ready for the next adventure, always never leaving each other's side whether it be in a physical sense or emotional sense, showing love with such reckless abandon just because they make each other that happy. And the way the show potrays that is not in an unrealistic way, regardless of which couple it focuses on. It's natural and candid and never afraid to end with a less than happy ending each episode. Though as each episode passes the reality becomes more and more clear that I'm already mostly Lionel Hardcastle, give me a few years and you won't be able to tell the difference. But mind you, Alistair is a bit of alright too I mean he could not back Lionel and Jean's romance more, has faith in Lionel's writing capabilities, he even walks Madge down the aisle without hesitation or question, I could almost call him the biggest fan of love there is. Even Sandy gets her fair share of attention, seeing a smidge of her relationship, Jean wants to give her the second branch of her business, her love and loyalty to Jean is paramount, it's good stuff without question. It doesn't waste a single episode of it's 10 episode run, even if it is more fluff like Jean trying to avoid a visit from Penny doesn't ever seem like a waste or simply not needed because it's where the more comedic writing shines. Believe me, if there was such an episode that didn't contribute to the series I would tell immediately. But you can tell these writers want to make it as good as possible which thusly for me makes it great. One week down, two to go. You already know the rating.

Wednesday, December 1, 2021

As Time Goes By: Series 2

I'm a happy camper.

It's true, this show puts me in such a happier mood than I was in before which probably means I shouldn't watch it on a mighty good day in fear of exploding into sunshine and rainbows. So we pick up not far where we left off as Lionel and Jean take further steps into their relationship, they spend more time together, Jean meets Lionel's dad Rocky, they spend a weekend at a cottage, and Jean helps quite a bit with Lionel's book. In fact that seems to be the main big thing that happens, he finishes his book and is a published author which I quite like, it's not all about the romance every second but just the lives of these two people in all their endeavors. We add two new reoccuring characters with Rocky and Penny, Jean's sister in-law. Rocky is quite the antithesis of Lionel, very upbeat, adventurous, lover of life, and pretty much everything a person should aspire to be when they reach their sunset years. He's beyond lovely. And in that same sense Penny is the opposite of Jean, absent minded, focuses way too much on other people's lives instead of her own, and can rattle on incessantly for hours at a time. We all know people like that, they're frequent in my family. But it's always good to have the cast branching out over the course of the show, and once more the actors do very nice work. The focus is without a doubt on Jean and Lionel, whereas the first series had all the main cast have equal moments but that's not a bad thing. Judy couldn't be more cheeky and reveling in the romance if she tried, Sandy is just as fun and smart as always, and Alistair keeps being Alistair but has full faith in Lionel and backs his work with his usual brand of over the top. That and this series has the honor of introducing a very common phrase into my lexicon, it's almost an inside joke with my mom and me, that becomes a running joke in and of itself in the show. Hey hey. Everytime I hear it it makes me burst out in laughter, because it means a very particular thing. Dirty, filthy, shameless things. Hey hey, which must always be said in a somewhat sultry voice, with a raised eyebrow, and a smirk. But good God do I grin like a dopey prat when Jean and Lionel have their moments together, I can only dream and aspire to have such a candid but enormously loving relationship with anybody. I'm a hopeless romantic when it comes to this, leave me be. It's precious. Is this whole series going to be a 10/10? Cause I don't mean it to be but I'll be damned I can't say a bad thing about it. Bollocks, I'm positive in my reviews but I'm not that positive, for a pessimist I'm pretty optimistic about a lot of things. 4 stars, 10/10, I don't even care I can't argue it. You have full permission to check out for the coming 3 weeks of reviews for this series, cause it's just gonna be nothing but this. Pure concentrated positivity. I might need insulin shots before all this is over.

Monday, November 29, 2021

As Time Goes By: Series 1

It's that wonderful time again, it's British Broadcasting Corporation time once more!

I said it was going to happen, so let it be written so let it be done. As Time Goes By is quite possibly my favorite programme from the BBC, even more than Doctor Who perhaps. There's no better feasible word to describe it than charming. The story concerns one Lionel Hardcastle and one Jean Pargiter, two people who fell in love before Lionel was sent to Korea for the war effort and didn't hear or lay eyes on one another for roughly 40 years, until they meet again and the relationship between them grows again. I already commend it tremendously because it's not a situation of they meet again and instantly fall head over heels in love, they are of course happy to see each other and reminesce often about their brief young love but it takes until the end of the series for them to go on a date. Now don't worry, the first series is only 6 episodes long each 30 minutes, so you won't have to spend the better part of a day to get to that point. The story and writing could not be handled better, to the point where I have no concievable way of trying to figure out how it turned out so good. Despite such a short beginner series you quickly grasp the personas and characteristics of our main cast, Jean, Lionel, Judy, Alistair, and Sandy. Jean is very forward and runs a secretary agency so she doesn't lolligag about but has a good sense of humor, she's intelligent, fun, and has lived quite a life to this point. Plus you have Judi Dench playing her, of course she's amazing. Lionel is grumpy, headstrong, has lots of wit but is just as forward and honest as Jean, and is very humble about his feelings for her. Geoffrey Palmer you dashing man, my king, how I miss you so. Judy is Jean's daughter and works with her mom, she has Jean's sense of humor and is a romantic at heart, just an absolutely lovely beautiful lady and Moira Brooker is so good in this role. Philip Bretherton is Lionel's publicist Alistair, he's that rare breed of smarmy, confident, highly succesful businessman who isn't an unlikable twat, though he shamelessly flirts with every woman but never does he force anything, but merely tries to woe or seduce and takes rejection in stride while not letting it affect him. It's almost Brock-esque in a way really. And last but not quite least Jenny Funnell plays Sandy, Jean's receptionist who while not getting a lot of material this series becomes a fan favorite character as the show progresses, very no nonsense, very caring, the dream coworker, and quite stunning in a dress. If you know anything about me, if you've followed this show long enough is romance is a thin ice category, I really have to feel that authentic, genuine, feeling of love between two characters and it has to impact on me. By the third or fourth episode I got full blown puppy dog eyes at one scene, Judi and Geoffrey could not have better chemistry if they tried, they bring these characters and their history effortlessly and never once do I even slightly question the relationship between them. And it's funny, it's a really funny show, I laughed quite loudly multiple times throughout the first series, it has that british wit and delivery that I adore and enjoy so much. Lionel in particular gets me often. It's a marvellous show with good production values though this was still that once upon a time when the BBC had to use actual film stock for outdoor scenes which continued until the early 2000s but it doesn't distract, the cast is picked expertly, the dialogue is funny but still real and endearing, you're going to hear a lot of praise for this show in the coming weeks no question about it. Do I give it the 10/10? I'm really going through it all and asking if there was anything I didn't like. No. I can't think of anything. My God it gets the full marks, 4 stars, 10/10, watch it anyway you can. I mean it's only 3 hours out of your day for an entire series, that is a small price to pay for a cornerstone of british television for me. Class, absolutely marvellous, so proud I own it on video. So stay tuned for the coming weeks as we continue to work our way through this series, have a wonderful evening, goodnight.

Sunday, November 28, 2021

BONUS: Straight Outta Nowhere

Ridiculous title but a solid movie.

Why the hell am I not told about stuff like this? You do not f*** with me when it comes to either Scooby-Doo or Courage The Cowardly Dog, you just don't and yet this crossover that I have been waiting for 84 years to happen, has gotten here and I just now know about it. There isn't a doubt in my skull that I would have adored this when I was younger, cause you know cartoon crossovers really weren't a thing at that time. I lost it when Mystery Inc. met Johnny Bravo, I just never had the concept of such a thing, and to see all the cartoon characters that I have watched my whole life have these little bumpers where they all live in a city and interact with each other was the coolest damn thing once upon a time. So what did I honestly think of this movie? Well I will get the very few negatives out of the way. First off, the fact that John R. Dilworth had nothing to do with his creations on the Courage side is inexcusable in my eyes, he had a lot of input on that show and I feel we needed his touch of horror here. Again I'm not that gaga about the title and the fact that Eustace Bagge has a rap number in this makes me break inside. Other than that, I'm fine with everything. Despite the more modern animation style they faithfully get the look of the characters and settings of Nowhere, and throw every easter egg they could think of from the show's history which is great. It is not some cash in bullshit like Return To Zombie Island you worthless, waste of what little time I have left on this earth, piece of ****, they do it with love and appreciation. They get Marty Grabstein and Thea White back to do their characters, and to know this was Thea White's last film coming back to voice such a beloved character that is the scottish angel Muriel is both so lovely and yet so heartbreaking. I'll miss her everyday and I think she has just as much magic and love in this movie as she did 30 odd years ago. Now on the Scoobert side of things, we still have our main cast who all do great work and my appreciation for Kate Micucci grows daily, it's so interesting to see them be in another show and it works just as well. I think anybody can watch it and follow it but it was made for the fans of both shows. It's a bottle movie, you crack it open, you enjoy it, you pop the lid back on and are happy you had it. It's nothing grand or special, but it has some good humor with even callbacks to Abbot and Costello and Mel Brooks, it's a decent story, you can tell they had some fun making this, and I think you'll enjoy it. I personally give it 3 stars, 7.5/10, and it made me want to dig my Courage DVD's out and watch the whole show. And that sprung an idea, an impossible idea, an idea that would take so much time and the hills would run red with the blood of movies and other shows. Sacrifices abound to achieve an impossible dream. I don't know if I can do it, cause I would review as many Cartoon Network shows, in full, one a month every month. Like wow, I'd love to do it but geez. We'll see. In the meantime get ready for a whole series, spread out starting tomorrow and ending well into December. I think we might be done with Christmas from henceforth.

Saturday, November 27, 2021

In Retrospect: The Suicide Squad

King Shark is the king of my heart.

Yeah it was fun watching this again in all it's bloodsoaked, gruesome, humorous glory. And I feel I got more out of it the second go around, now that I know all the big stuff I can see the little details. I mean I praise the cast day and night, but dang Margot Robbie has a great little monologue that honestly says more about Harley than anything we've seen in live action. Daniela Melchior has stolen my heart and probably the internet's too, forever being my precious ray of sunshine in this film, she's absolute class 10/10! I do feel ashamed I wasn't party to Idris Elba's acting much before this because my man, my man, I love you my man. But dude James Gunn you are a bastard, you killed Savant who really struck me as a great character and one who I was quickly rooting for and Michael Rooker plays it perfectly. You did have the balls to drop Captain Boomerang and Rick Flagg, and you have my respect for shaking things up. f***ing dare you kill Polka Dot Man. I am never getting over this, the shittin' Weasel lives but my guy dies? Because the second I heard we were getting Polka Dot Man I was ecstatic, and proves once more why David Dastmalchian keeps getting work at DC, because he rocks! And I knew, I frick fraking knew he wasn't gonna make it too, when I saw in the trailer of him triumphantly shouting with joy "I'm a superhero!" I was like well he's about to get shot in the head right after saying that. Asshole. I'm not actually mad at James for doing that, if anything I highly applaud the team here for getting me to care so much about these characters to begin with. I cared enough for the first Squad with Deadshot and all them, and appreciate both films for taking the time out to have emotional moments with these characters period. I dig the style and tone the movie has going for it, almost edging towards Tarantino tribute to 70s cinema but with it's own unique flair to it. I'd still say it's a great movie and clearly has the rewatchability factor to own. So the verdict still stands, 4 stars, 8.5/10. It's never a bad day when you watch a DC movie....except for The Killing Joke. Worthless bitch. And on that joyous remark it is time to end, and pray for me. I beg of you.

Friday, November 26, 2021

In Retrospect: Cruella

Oh honey, you knew I couldn't stay away for long.

What the hell was I thinking giving this an 8.5/10? F*** off, it's better than that! God I took too long to see this again. So big spoiler alert incoming, I still love this movie and I appreciate it even more now. Emma Stone, heaven help me I will crush on you forever in this movie, I cherish you, you are unbelievably good, and because of that performance people will choose sides on who's best. I was too busy revelling just like her in this performance but on a somewhat deeper analysis the second go around she gets a lot of emotion and such creativity and drama too in her performance. I genuinely got some goosebumps when she has the big confession scene and she says, "I am not like her. I am better." and the movie still gets a rise out of me (you filthy bastards shut it) where even though I know what's going to happen I'm still like, oh-ho you go girl punch the f*** out of her! I still get so invested in the story, and a tremendous deal of that goes to Emma Thompson. I mean my God, it's been a minute since I've seen a movie villain so heavily narcissistic and so easily hateable but in the most enjoyable way, just how flippant and yet so mean she is just wows me everytime. Now we got to talk about the stuffs I couldn't talk about before, because of the twists. I wasn't hating the fact Cruella was the Baroness' daughter, bit soap opera but I can roll with it. I really and truly have no issue at all what they do with classic Disney characters as long as they are interesting, fun, and memorable characters despite their own unique spins. My God people get so up in arms over the silliest things. Oh she can't like dogs, oh they softened her up for the kids, blah blah shut the hell up blah, I have no patience for closed mindedness. Yeah, it's pretty screwed up to want to skin dogs for a coat but I didn't hear people get so up in arms over Glenn who people adore in this role and I know it's a younger Cruella and the Cruella we have always seen is a bitter, old, terrible woman so she has time to grow into that. So it's different. Different and good! Huzzah, rejoice for it is not a shot for shot remake of 101 Dalmatians. Innovation, it's grrreat! This tangent will never die but it will be placed back in the box...for now. Okay so the Reichenbach Fall, I loved the idea, totally thought she was gonna either push the Baroness off or pull her off arm in arm, I mean we already had one murder onscreen, onward to two warp factor 1! My only issue is we see how she survived the fall, I didn't like it in the theater and I sorta don't like it now, I would have kept it a mystery because it can be symbolic that Disney villains never die because they are so amazing or something. But I mean those are two brief small problems I have with a movie I love unconditionally. It's great, it's fun, it has it's own style and identity, the story is entertaining and not too out there, the performances are top notch, the design of...everything is class, the music is so much of what I love. We are bumping this baby up and I...may put it at number 1 for the top 10 list. Just saying. I'm not backing down, it's a contender. 4 stars, 9.5/10, I could feel the collective disgust and hate of Disney purists out there and it just gave me a little bit of a thrill, mm that felt nice. Kind of a good buzz going here so let's keep it going with one more before the month of nightmares begins.

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Planes, Trains, And Automobiles

Strangely, I've now seen two movies in one week with both John Candy and Kevin Bacon in the cast.

Okay I've finally seen it. Yeah it was pretty great! I knew very bare bones basics of the story, heck I didn't even know who directed it until about halfway through and I had a great time with it. The story follows businessman Neal who is desperately trying to get home to his family for Thanksgiving as everything goes wrong and he is paired with a obnoxious travel partner Del as they go from New York, to Wichita, to St. Louis, to Chicago. It would be foolish to say this isn't an adventure movie, I'd even call it an odyssey, but it's a comedy first and it did that job very well. Good comedy is based on misery, and seeing so much bad stuff happen to the pessimistic and angry Steve Martin while most everything goes right for the super kind and sweet John Candy does work. Steve Martin is one of the very few people who can act like the biggest jerk and yet you are still on his side, you don't hate him. That's talent, it could so easily go off the deep end and have him be this unholy bastard of a man who nothing good should ever happen to, but you understand his situation and frustration. John Candy, shock of all shocks, is wonderful and lovely and amazing. I'm severely tempted to just do a whole week of John Candy movies, and again he shows real talent in this movie because he can get on your nerves at times, and yet still makes it really funny. If you met a person like this in real life you would strangle the life out of them, but because it's John Candy he can get away with it. The style of the writing and direction was ringing a few bells in my head and I wondered if John Hughes had any hand in this at all and sure enough he wrote and directed it, no wonder I liked it so much. It's somewhat hard to talk about the movie without going through every scene and every series of unfortunate events, but I will talk about one. When Steve Martin gets on the L train, he's made it to Chicago, and he's thinking about home. That got a tear out of me, it was just one but one is all you need. It's a very simple thing to describe and yet impossible to describe, he's thinking about walking through the door, seeing his wife and his kids, the food, the atmosphere of the dining table, and thinking about his unlikely friend. It's a very brief scene, incredibly minimalistic in how it's shot, but my God you get so much emotion out of that. You've probably had days where it seems nothing is going right, you've had a lot of stress and problems either preparing for the holidays or travelling to see family for the holidays, and to see him on his way after so much trouble has occured it struck me man. It struck me like an arrow through the heart. I think about home now more than I ever have, I like to be there when I can, there's no better place to be. It's a really good film, not my favorite of John's but another strong film in his career. 4 stars, 8.5/10, be back tomorrow to see an old flame.

Wednesday, November 24, 2021


Well this ain't making the top 10 list.

I know. I'm a jaded, hateful, bastard of a man. I have no qualms admitting this, but while I wasn't expecting great things from Encanto it didn't do much for me. Yes the animation, colors, and character designs are outstanding. I mean this is a gorgeous film, and a visual feast to the eyes, but that story man was what brought it down so low. Stop me if you've heard this one, a young girl who is born into a family of highly gifted members has no special power of her own and yet is called to save not only her family but her home from disaster. Sounds pretty damn predictable right? Well that's what I got out of the trailers and it ain't much different in the film. It really didn't pull me that much in besides the visuals, and I don't want to be that guy, you know the guy. Who is not impressed with anything, pokes holes in a mostly harmless children's film, and gives it so much harsh criticism you could swear they have a vendetta against it. So let's talk a few more positives. I dig our lead character Mirabel, she has such a nice design, very sweet and understandable, her mannerisms and voice are endearing so I'm there with her from start to finish. Her sister Luisa has a understandable dilemma and I am a fan of a gentle giantess, I knew she was gonna be one of my favorites from the trailer. I like the magic elements in it, albeit they are very circumstantial and really need to be fleshed out more. Wasn't I talking about the things I liked? Well it's one of those, every good thing I have to say has a note to it saying 'could have been done better'. I'm not the biggest fan of the family and their dynamic throughout the movie, every one treats Mirabel like garbage because she's not special or has a power which had no trouble infuriating me as an individual often looked down upon in my life, so I was like screw this babe, love yourself, let them crash and burn because you are better. The grandmother struck me way more as the true villain I mean she flat out had cult leader vibes who was power mongering for more gifted grandchildren, and even when she has this big boo-hoo apology nonsense I held no sympathy for the devil and didn't care. Almost every character has an arc that occurs in the average at best music numbers, they go from basic trope to changed individual in roughly 3 minutes. Because why have actual character development and interesting dynamics as the story goes along? There's really no stakes that had me invested and this just occured to me, but...are Disney villains just dead? I haven't seen a new Disney movie with a villain in a long, long time. They fake out here with a disappeared family member, but he's really not so bad you guys, so I couldn't care about their predicament. And yeah the music numbers are like more exposition than they usually are in these movies, with often plot elements and character's point of views expressed but I had a rough time trying to keep up with the lyrics, these suckers' tempo would put thrash metal to shame at times. When a song has the same speed and fast vocals as Yakko's World, seek help. Heck I was really there for the central and southern american culture, with the architecture, clothing, and bits of language peppered throughout. It's cool to see that, least of all in a major animated family film. It's nice to see Disney films shift from mostly if not entirely european settings in their early years and expand into different countries and lots of cultures like in the 90s, now they're going for even more. Hell yeah, educate me by showing bits and bobs of different countries! So I'm really not trying to rip this film to shreds because it did have something to it. But sweetheart it needed more, I respect the message, I appreciate the different setting and folks we see, but it was just okay to me. 2.5 stars, 7/10. And knowing me I'm writing another review tonight before pie day and I gain an additional 30 pounds in record breaking time and slumber amongst the ancients. See you soon everybody.

Tuesday, November 23, 2021


It's been nearly 60 years man, and we're still raising hell about it.

Now I will say I am not a historian, and I ain't too keen on politics, I'm just a film critic. But I will say it is quite hard to discuss this film because it handles such a weighty subject, sure I can talk about it's merits, the direction, the cast, all that good stuff and it is a pretty solid film but boy howdy is it a minefield to traverse without getting swept away in the events of that day in 1963. So very briefly, I will state I quite liked Kennedy, I agreed with a good deal of his progressive policies that did in fact one day come true, I think the 1960s were quite possibly the worst political times in american history, with his brother Robert and Dr. King also getting shot, I would not want no part of this country during that time. And the film does such a commendable job showing that every President, could be anybody, has their detractors and haters when they were in office. It really goes to show how far someone will try to obtain the truth as we follow Jim Garrison, a district attorney in New Orleans who pushes and pushes to obtain evidence of the Kennedy assassination despite obstacles of the government and home. I personally have a fair distaste of conspiracies, but the movie does get you thinking and often too about the situation, the evidence, and the events that occured around that ill fated day in Dallas, and I am not devolving through that rabbit hole but I'm sure conspiracy theory fans love this movie and can get even more out of it than I did. The cast is excellent, I mean it throws a good share of big names here but it's the performances that strike true. Even if this was a Kevin Costner vehicle I won't hold much grievance over that because he does deliver such an incredible performance, I never thought of him as that great of an actor though I do like him, but he sure did rise just from this. Yeah he dips his toes into that Atticus Finch pool at the end but I'll be damned if I said it didn't work, it does go on par with To Kill A Mockingbird with that final court scene, and the giant monologue he gives is you know, entirely true, just as powerful, just as relevant, just as important maybe now than ever, I mean I applaud the script writer for just keeping all the strands connected let alone that phenomenal speech at the end. Never to disregard the rest of the cast, I mean holy hell they put their effort into this and made it good, from the big players like Tommy Lee Jones down to brief bits from John Candy (Man that guy was better than we deserved.) so nothing but top notch marks across the board. For my second Oliver Stone movie, I certainly can see his style in direction, editing, and cinematography quite clearly, it all works but you can quickly tell who made this. It's a loooong movie, I totally thought it was a 2 hour standard fare but it goes past 3 hours, and while the pacing is kept expertly I really was not expecting such an extensive movie. But every scene exists for a reason, it's predominantly dialogue heavy yet still keeps your interest, and like I said I am not terribly interested in politics but it still had my attention. I'm not here to fact check everything, I'm here to tell you if it's worth seeing. Yeah. I give it 3.5 stars, 8/10. Hell even if you aren't there for the whole 3 hours watch that final speech, it's up there for me like The Great Dictator's speech. That's good stuff man. We got a new movie incoming tommorrow so see you at the movies.

Monday, November 22, 2021

What We Do In The Shadows: Season 3

Bit late to this party but still worth talking about.

It's only been over a year since we last looked at this show. Good to know some trends never die. Kinda went in a lot of directions I didn't expect but still delievered the same top quality, I'd even go so far as to say because of the unexpected turns this season delivers I enjoyed it way more than I would have. So after the massacre of the vampire council by Guillermo, our group of vampires actually ascend the political ladder and become the new replacements for the council, as Laszlo and Colin Robinson hang out more, Nandor pursues love, and Nadja gets swept up in the power of the council, leading to a pretty up in the air situation for the next season. It still has somewhat similar stories but at the same time are so very different and are built upon from previous seasons, you have your human scenarios with our vamps rolling along with it, you get your seperate cullen of vampires branching out the world of this show, we get some more spotlight on Guillermo and strangely also Colin Robinson who may actually have the biggest arc of this season. Like seriously he has always been a background character with an occasional brief episode segment, but he is right up front on the stage here and to me is funnier than ever. Even though every character I would say gets equal amounts of attention and screentime, Colin Robinson damn near owns this season. Granted Guillermo is still my favorite by far, and he gets some great material here delving more into the relationship between him and Nandor, I loved all that just to show how bizzare and interesting their dynamic is. I noticed a hell of a lot more sets this time around, it seems each season has a bigger budget than the last and while some of the CGI is a bit ropey I can forgive the cable TV show here, but each is designed expertly and the fact they use practical effects period gets brownie points from me. It's another solid season that may take a bit of time to get going but I'm just very happy to see it again. 4 stars, 8.5/10, I still hold season 2 higher but there is always next time to really knock it out of the park and I commend the crew, actors and all, for doing such fine work. This week is gonna be busy as hell, television, movies, in retrospects, new movies, you'll get a dose of everything in the days to come.

Friday, November 19, 2021

Ghostbusters Afterlife

Well at least we ended on a good note.

As an individual who was interested but not highly anticipating or very excited about seeing this movie, I would love to compare notes with someone who was. Not at all that I hated the movie, but it did do some stuff I didn't want and felt could have been done a notch better. It's a decent fun little movie that could birth some cool stuff in the future. IDW, get on this. You could make some great new stories based off this movie and give some excellent character bits to the new cast. I literally didn't know until about a month before this movie came out it focuses on Egon's granddaughter and once I heard that my interest was hooked. I really really digged her story man, in fact the whole scenario of the movie with them inheriting Egon's house and slowly piecing together exactly what he was doing there as she becomes a young ghostbuster is cool stuff. Plus McKenna Grace is awesome in this, I would guard her with my eternal soul, she works so well with this script and this character, 10/10! Her and Logan Kim have outstanding chemistry and their friendship in the movie is damn good stuff. Poor Finn Wolfhard, I feel this kid just gets drafted into any old f***ing script with teens and supernatural occurences because of Stranger Things and I'm just like, does he even like it anymore? Cause I really was checking out on his B-story, not because of the actors but the script itself. It digs it's heels into contrivances that simply do not need to be there throughout the picture and actually stops it from being a great movie. A good chunk of the story beats work, but others simply fall flat. At least Paul Rudd was good, thank the babay jeezuz his acting has improved since Halloween 6. I think I'm grasping what people thought of when The Force Awakens came out talking about all the easter eggs and similar plot elements, it does go there from time to time. Completely unnecessarily, they could have crafted a new villain, they could have gone without a lot of the fan service, hell it kinda works as an introduction to Ghostbusters. If younger kids who never saw the original films saw this movie, it could make them into fans who love the original, seriously the movie works that well crafting it's own world and could be a stepping stone. I like that a great deal. It's fun, it's simple, a good movie but stick to the Ghostbusters video game for that official third entry. 3 stars, 7.5/10. I have no idea what to do next week, cause after that we got another series for you to wrap up the year. So I'll figure something out, have a fun time at the movies in the meantime.

Thursday, November 18, 2021

Ghostbusters (2016)

Motherf***er. I had no choice. Work screwed me over and I didn't want to leave you hanging until Friday. I hope you appreciate what I do for you.

Goddamn it. Alright, 2016 Ghostbusters, the review I never wanted to do. You know what the worst part is? This movie had just a few interesting things that I liked but you know how I sometimes run into movies and I can only say they are just adequate. A big ball of middle of the road. This is the antithesis of that. This is such a vacuous movie, quite possibly the most vacuous, unnecessary, biggest pile of nothing I have ever seen in my life. I don't even know how to properly talk about it, it's like the roughest sketch of the 1984 script but done by a very very poor script writer and director. No wait, I got it. It's like if a person who has never actually seen Ghostbusters but their friends are really into it, and they knew the most bare bones basics of the franchise, sat down and wrote out a story to share with those friends of theirs hoping to be accepted as part of the club. It has some semblance of recognizability but it has zero of the heart or humor of those movies. I barely have anything to say at this point. So let's talk about the brief good things I liked. I dig the new look of the Ecto-1, it's different but still nice looking. I like the progression of the proton packs, how it goes from this big blocky gun that literally needs a rolling desk full of equipment to work, to the slightly more refined backpacks, to innovative and neat gadgets like the pistols and the power glove. Leslie Jones is the best part of the movie period and made me laugh the most (and there was only 5 instances where I did laugh), she still has to work with this amateur script but can do a fair bit with it. I hold no hate to any of the main cast, I just know they should have been reigned in and given better material. Even my babe, Kate McKinnon couldn't save it, in fact the second I saw her in the trailer I thought she was going to effortlessly be my favorite character. But she wasn't really, her offbeat mannerisms and humor seemed more a product of desperately trying to stay afloat in the scene than genuine good acting. There's just so much holding me back from liking it, it's not a horrible story, it needed several friggin' drafts and re-edits but it could have been decent. For every neat little thing I liked there was 20 steps backwards. A phenomenal aura of uncomfortable silence permeated the room, almost staring into the void yet somehow much worse. If you gaze long enough into the abyss you can at least get existential and ask some monumental questions. There is no such escape in this movie. It stuns me shitless how little I can honestly say about it. It gave me so little to work with, I can't even just go on a verbal tidalwave of obscenity and abject rage because there is nothing there. It's like this zen like state where all of reality melts away into nothing and you remain with nothing to say. If our main stars had a terrific experience making this movie and have fun memories to hold onto for the rest of their lives, that's wonderful and I will never give them hell about it. But it's an unnecessary, pointless, empty shell that I will forever regret spending $3 to watch. 1 star, 1.5/10, I'm sorry I had to do this but I was going to take a bullet in some way or another, work or reviews. I can weather this. So thank you for putting up with this brief and unwanted detour, I really hope you'll join me tomorrow, goodnight.

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Ghostbusters 2

No! No! You do not hate a good Ghostbusters movie!

I have rarely heard good praise for Ghostbusters 2, yet at the exact same time I can't name you a reason from people who don't like it either. Almost as if it's actually a good movie. That is something I could rant about for a good few hours so I'll just wrap up by saying suck on coxen. So we pick up 5 years later after the first movie with the ghostbusters essentially out of business after being sued into the ground and it takes about 30 minutes for them to start up the business again as the city is being overrun by slime and another powerful ancient figure has plans of ressurection. It does plenty enough different stuff without changing the format to an unrecognizable state, all the main cast returns, new villain, new setup, it actually progresses the characters and their stories, I'm just fumbling for any reason whatsoever as to why someone wouldn't like this. Like I said it takes about a quarter of the movie for them to be busting again, yet it's never boring or even uninteresting because you catch up with everybody and the writing is still just as on point. Hell I laughed much harder watching this one than the first, and once again the character dynamics while changing a bit with the new situations still is excellent with the cast bringing their A-game to it all. I got way more of the 80s aesthetic with this movie than the first in terms of the awesome music score, the set design, even the actual technicals of the film stock which honestly made me enjoy it way more. Ghostbusters is an 80s staple, it should feel that distinctive kind of retro, and I can only imagine what it was like with the anticipation of seeing the sequel, esepcially if you were a kid. Cause the first Ghostbusters movie was pretty grounded as a movie for adults not so much in content but the way it was presented but the kids loved them, and in that interval between movies you got the toys, The Real Ghostbusters premiered in 1986 and lasted until 1991, they really shifted gears and marketed towards kids yet this movie isn't dumbed down or kiddie. Shit you get some hardcore scary stuff at times and a wee bit of adult stuff, and I would be off my rocker if I didn't just say Annie Potts....ooh. My lord. Louis you smooth hound, I love that guy and I ship that relationship. But anyway, I don't see this as inferior in any sense, you can have just as much fun with this as the first one. I mean sure it hits some familiar beats with the first but there's too much new stuff to just ignore. I think the effects have naturally improved and they use all the tricks of the trade to the max, and do a better job with the same effects from the first movie. Okay, I just...I'm never getting over this, I just can't! It doesn't have to be this way!! What am I missing here?? Oh f*** off! It's a good movie, get off your goddamn high horse before I drop kick you off it Godzilla style. 4 stars, 8.5/10! No friggin' clue what to expect from Afterlife but I'm going in highly interested and happy to see another Ghostbusters movie after 32 years. I mean sure we got the video game and Extreme Ghostbusters, but it's high time we finally get a third Ghostbusters movie to see in theaters. I'll see you tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 16, 2021


So it took what, 863 reviews to get to Ghostbusters? How...I reviewed The Legend Of Boggy Creek and 50 Shades Of go f*** yourself before I got to Ghostbusters. What is this show??

How the shit do I even talk about Ghostbusters? Everybody loves it, go see it. End of story. Do I talk about the film and it's own merits or discuss the crazy legacy this movie has garnered over almost 40 years? I don't know. I don't know. I obviously love it and have probably only gained more appreciation and respect for it as time has gone on. I didn't even see Ghostbusters until I was in my teens, I got both movies on DVD for my birthday and I remember liking it just fine. And believe it or not a good dose of my reviewers, the people who inspired me to do what I do are pretty heavy into the busting of the ghosts, Cinemassacre, Angry Joe, VoteSaxon07, and it was through their videos that I got a glimpse of just how beloved this movie is. For a simple and kinda honestly B-movie plot of college teachers turn independent spirit eliminators, I can pin down why it is so succesful in two strokes, the writing and the character dynamics. I genuinely, even with seeing Animal House and Caddyshack, can firmly say this was Harold Ramis' best script because he worked in such tight tandem with the director Ivan Reitman and Dan Aykroyd, so you get a good story with intrigue, funny dialogue, easily understandable but great characters, and nothing feels wasted or unnecessary. I'll give you a friggin' buck right now if you can guess my favorite character, and it's not who you think it is considering my history with this show. This is easily one of the most quotable movies ever, like to me it is right up there with Star Wars, The Big Lebowski, and American Movie there is so much memorable dialogue that I could rattle off for considerable time. So story is great, cast is excellent across the board, the effects while not super flashy still hold up quite well, the comedy is impeccable, you're not hearing anything new here, you know what this movie is. So what can I offer in terms of original thoughts and perspectives? I truthfully think the best scene in the movie in terms of understated weight and effect is when Ray and Winston discuss the bible and judgement day, like that is some highly effective moody, under your skin, goosebumps raising stuff that is there but not in your face which is why it works so well. It has that gravitas, the only thing I can properly compare it to is when John Rhys-Davies talls about the Ark Of The Covenant in Raiders Of The Lost Ark, it's done that well. Second, f*** you assholes that gave William Atherton shit for playing Walter Peck, yeah he's great at playing one pompous cock but I couldn't say mean things to him just because of a role he played and expertly so. Buncha jackasses. Will however note I am not that big a fan of Ray Parker Jr.'s hit single, now the music in this movie is class but in terms of a lyrical song Savin' The Day gets me all kinds of pumped up, and jammin', and I love it to death. And Casey Kasem is in it, 10/10! I'll give it for real for real, 4 stars, 8.5/10, and it's sequel time tomorrow and I got some things to say so catch you next time.

Sunday, November 14, 2021

Memento Mori

It's been 84 years, or at least feels like it.

These are powerful memories to the initiated, but for the uninitiated time for backstory. On this day of our lord, November 14th 2019 a channel was created hosted by super popular YouTube stars Mark and Ethan where for an entire year a video would be released, with the catch that once a full 365 days have passed the channel would be deleted and the videos would no longer exist. It was an unparalleled experiment that had nothing short of a cult following, and I couldn't possibly give a one year in memoriam eulogy to this wild and amazing thing because well, Mark and Ethan already did and spoke for all of us. So instead I do what I do best, recount my personal experiences to show that I was there, and I was watching. Set the wayback machine to 2019 a much simpler time when I first heard about the channel and having precisely no idea what it was, I subscribed. Now I won't lie to you and say, oh yeah man I was there from day one, every single day I watched the newest video, blah blah blah. No. I forgot about Unus Annus for at least a month or two, so I had a backlog of considerable amount when I got fully into it. Then....f***. We are still reeling from the events of 2020, and Unus Annus was such a strong thing that kept me going and as it got more turbulent, eventually I had to seek refuge with other family. By that point it was September of 2020, and my cousin was an enormous fan of Mark and Ethan and he watched Unus Annus but he was fully caught up, and I was playing catch up so we spent night after night watching this show I guess you could call it. There were three staples of entertainment in that household, wrestling, anime, Unus Annus. And you better believe we were the biggest dorks, quoting it constantly, out of nowhere dueting the Disclaimer Song, making morbid jokes followed by "Memento Mori. Unus Annus....", it was our shit man. We loved it. And I'll tell you right now, I barely caught up to everything before the final day. Binge watching to stay up to date, and it really can never be properly explained what the videos were. The only thing I can offer is a perspective, it was all about trying new things they never did before, often very stupid things, but they did some fascinating and cool stuff too, almost like a bucket list recorded for this brief blip in human existence. In a strange way, despite it having undertones of death, and loss of time, and (comical) murder, it really was a celebration of life in so many facets. Whether you're in your room laughing at stupid shit on your computer with your friend, enjoying the great outdoors and several sports, or just doing random stuff, my God it really summed life all up for me. Just the spirit of it was, go out and enjoy life, you only have so much time and you never knew when you're gonna die, treat your life for what it's worth and live for every breath, I know it's easy to get bogged down with normal everyday things but to live is to die so enjoy it. In fact, Unus Annus played a huge part in accepting, me as an individual, my death one day. Not that I dreaded it, but it made me appreciate life and not be afraid to go when the time comes. I mean really, if you had a countdown, you had a clock that could never stop, ticking away the seconds of your life until it hit zero, would you sit and mope and fear or would you actually do something with that time. Everything ends and it's always sad, but everything begins again and it's always happy. Be happy, laugh hard, run fast, be kind. And when that final day came, he wasn't ready to let go but I was happy that I was there. I was there at the beginning and now I got to see how it ends. The clock kept ticking, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 3 minutes, 1 minute, and when it was about to hit zero I had exactly one thing to say, "See you on the other side.". And then it was gone, and all we have left are the memories. There's a great many things I miss in my life, some I'll never properly have the words to express, but this is a day of fond remembrance. And after it was over, they had a store full of different items for Unus Annus and in the final hour of it existing I bought an hourglass pin for my black coat. And you better believe I'll be buried with that. The clock still ticks for me, and there's always more to talk about with movies and shows. So I'll see you soon, come what may. Always loved, never forgotten. Memento Mori.

Thursday, November 11, 2021


This was the film I was most excited to see this week.

The minute I heard of this concept, two upper class men murder their friend and place his body in a box and hold a party where all the guests surround this unbeknownst to them makeshift coffin, I couldn't wait to see it. And not only that but the movie is shot as one continuous take, with 5 cuts (yes I counted) much like Birdman which only fascinated me more to see it. And to think this isn't considered one of Hitchcock's masterpieces, or even one of his major films. That is reaching incomprable levels of bullshit. This is easily top 5 quality for his movies in my ranking. Really the only landmark I hear for this film is this is the first movie that Hitchcock made with Jimmy Stewart, which is nice to see how this relationship started, but are you kidding me that's it? The technicals for this movie alone could be a review in and of itself, the camera movements, the backdrops, the technicolor print, just what the hell were people sleeping on this for? Everyone quotes the classic example of suspense with Hitchcock as the bomb under the table. That changes today. The example henceforth is the maid clearing the stuff off the top of the box, bit by bit, with long walks inbetween, ready to put some books inside the box, that is the purest example of suspense I have ever seen. And while Jimmy does a real good job, more subdued until the end where he gives a great monologue, the shining star here is John Dall as one of the killers Brandon. He is devilishly wicked in this role, always so cool and loving every moment, he has such charm and affability that you could almost forgive him being a killer. The script is also really good, it's not full of that morbid comedy you might suspect, but the discussion considering the right of murder by superior individuals while incredibly easy to make fun of because well...all the characters are upper class white people, is still good writing. I dare say this is the high point of the week, I greatly enjoyed it more than Shadow Of A Doubt so I give it 4 stars, 9/10, might be a bit high but I feel it's that good. Check it out and get this movie more attention!

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

The Man Who Knew Too Much

A decent movie in the filmography that I think many would agree on.

Not to say in the slightest this movie isn't good, it handles the world of espionage well but there's no doubt Hitchcock went on to improve certain elements greatly in later films. It handles it's story well with a family who are visiting Morocco and already some suspicious characters are introduced, and pretty soon Jimmy Stewart is witness to a murder and is told with dying breaths of a plotted assassination, and if that wasn't bad enough his son is kidnapped leading him to travel to London to save his son and try to thwart another death. I feel the first half is the better part, because you get a lot of intrigue as to who these odd characters are and you are not fully aware of the plot, so it really gets you thinking whereas when it shifts gears to get their kid back it becomes more standard fare. But the performances from Jimmy and Doris Day are really good, they have a good relationship and effortlessly potray these realistic parents. You'd get steeped into some stuff for the sake of your kid, so the movie handles that incredibly well in that respect. It's not a horrible story, the location shoots are really cool, the cast is mighty good, I like the tense atmosphere as Jimmy tries to tiptoe through this world of spies, but you can easily tell the movie has aspects that can be improved. I'm now very interested to see the 1934 version also directed by Hitchcock to compare notes, and to see if the remake is actually better. Well as a devout cinema snob it is clearly obvious remakes are always inferior to the original. 2.5 stars, 7/10, here's hoping for better tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Shadow Of A Doubt

We can get at least one week of classic movies in.

I hadn't heard of Shadow Of A Doubt until not that long ago, I believe it came to my attention through previously reviewed documentary Nightmares In Red, White, And Blue so I knew bare basics of plot but what an interesting thing it must have been to walk into this movie blind with maybe a film trailer back then. The plot follows a young woman named Charlie who is a bit fed up with her mundane life in an idyllic small town before her uncle also named Charlie comes to visit, and right off the bat you know something is up. Her uncle is being followed by two men, he acts suspicious for brief moments of time, but for a good chunk of the movie you don't actually know what the deal is and the twist reveal is handled incredibly well. Then the plot only thickens from there. It's pretty damn good, and a good deal of it can be laid solely on the shoulders of our leads, Joseph Cotten and Teresa Wright, I of course recognize Joseph as the best friend of Orson Welles in Citizen Kane and he does a real effective job playing an antagonist, and Teresa has a lot of optimistic love that wanes as the film goes on. The film has great camera work with the most excellent use of dutch angles I have seen in a long, long time and good lord did this movie remind me why I love black and white pictures so much. It looks so good, give me those shadows, give me those oblique angles, give me those dramatic shots, I absolutely loved it. I will however note two things that were just...what? Okay, I know this was totally not the intention of the film, less than zero percent even, but wow the relationship between Charlie and her uncle is pushing so friggin' close to romance it's not even funny. Like you can just see it in her eyes she is head over heels for this man and I'm sitting there just praying it doesn't take that next step. The other thing was, and this I actually believe was intentional, is that uncle Charlie got in a rough accident as a kid and fractured his skull and after he recovered he started getting into trouble while he was a quiet child before the incident. Because that's how criminals are made! But in all seriousness this is a great film, I really got super into it and had no idea what was going to happen next, and as the film that Hitchcock said was his favorite of all that he made, I can see why. It's for sure a movie deserving to be at least viewed once, even if only because of Joseph's great performance. 4 stars, 8/10, and the party keeps on going with this director so see you tomorrow.

Friday, November 5, 2021

The Bad Batch

Where the hell was this crew the while time??

Seriously I went from Jesus H. Christ I can't stand these people to, wow this isn't complete bollocks I quite like them! Oh thank the maker the bad batch was not grating on my nerves. So how was the semi-continuation of The Clone Wars? Pretty good I'd say, it perfectly hits that itch for a new Star Wars show, and while it severely has it's fan moments the story is pretty grounded and doesn't get very big or bombastic until pretty much the end. Now I will fully go on the record and say the premiere episode is easily the best, expertly setting the stage for events as we see order 66 once again and the clones are trying to find their way in the newly formed Empire, but since our group of unorthodox clones are titled degenerate they are found to be superfluous and try to lay low while just attempting to figure out what to do next. I mean this premise alone of seeing the beginning of the Galactic Empire through the eyes of a clone trooper is great stuff. Granted the show very much follows it's formula to a T until the end, a lot of rescue missions, a lot of ultra brief defeats, but it doesn't become boring because of what you get in those missions. You see a lot of familiar faces throughout (for both awesome and I f***ing hate you effects), you get some bonding between the squad and a young girl clone who wants to travel with them. And let's talk about Omega, when I first saw this character I was worried. I knew damn well Dave was working on this but I knew there was a fine line to walk between interesting character and face peelingly awful trope of the lovable rapscallion who always gets in trouble, but with great joy I report that is not the case. I very much like Omega, she is inquisitive, thoughtful, and never comes across as whiny or a tacky sidekick. Excellent work here in that character, and the rest of the main cast is very well done. The animation style I feel is not quite as top notch as the final season of Clone Wars but let that not fool you, some of these shots are like art come to life it is so well done and the detail is still just as great. I like how the plot goes about, it has it's recurring plot points but to go from the first episode to the last gels nicely, but strangely the finale didn't give me a lot of punching power. Now I'm not at 100% while writing this physically so I blame that more than anything, but while big important stuff happened in the finale it certainly relies on continuation. Like all this stuff happened but there's more to be told, more to experience, higher stakes, all that to occur as well. I think it's a solid show, there is more of clone force 99's story to tell in the what some would call dark times but I call the best times, and I did enjoy it. I give it 3.5 stars, 8/10, in the echelon of current Star Wars series it's mid tier and I feel it's more there to tide you over for the next season of Mando or the Kenobi series. Visions was definitely the high water mark of this week, and I'm just happy to talk Star Wars some more. It never gets old for me, and I held off on these shows for the right time and it paid off. Next week we'll shift gears to more classic and recognized cinema from the master of suspense himself.

Wednesday, November 3, 2021


There was literally so many people to credit I couldn't fit them all.

But beside that unfortunate complication, how was Visions? Fffffff-I thought it was perfect. I thought it was absolutely perfect. I can't say a bad thing about it. The stories while very brief are great and each one begs for a continuation, or maybe that's just me shrieking to the heavens for a second season. The animation is ungodly beautiful and spectacularly crafted, each one having such a unique and identifiable flair to it, you got your chibi style light and cute animation, you got your 1940s Astro Boy style animation, you got that middle ground between the 80s and 90s style with more rougher designs with deep shading, it all looks spectacular. The idea of meshing unashamed japanese culture and iconography, with Star Wars visuals and technology honestly sounds like something they should have done ages ago. In fact this whole show severely reminded me why I love anime, Star Wars, animation, everything it showcases to the max. And if I was being more truthful than I have ever been...if this show existed when I was like 7 or 8 years old, there isn't a way to ever fully express how much I would love it. It would easily be my favorite Star Wars thing for the rest of time. Which is odd because the first episode was honestly the best in my opinion, quite literally the perfect opening with total Kurosawa masturbatory overload here but goddamn is it wonderful! Yet each story has something to it, every one of them has very likable and easily understandable protagonists, the stories often focus on family and relationships which is what Star Wars is oft to do, you can have a grand time with this show on a plot basis but there is so so much more to enjoy. When I first heard of an animated anthology Star Wars show I was pretty much on board all the way, and when I saw every episode was being produced by a different japanese animation studio I was even more excited. It didn't disappoint, and I'll add another coin to the f*** off Star Wars haters jar yet again. Oh yeah, it sure is dead. Nothing good could ever come out of Disney owning it. You f***ers. You motherf***ers, I will rain HELLFIRE UPON Y-

But yeah, 10/10. Go watch it.

Monday, November 1, 2021

Lego Star Wars: Terrifying Tales

Halloween may be over but nobody's ever really gone.

After the cute fun time I had with the holiday special, I figured it would be nice to see the next one dip it's toes into more scary territory. I liked it a good deal, and I thought the story was handled really well with Poe crashing on Mustafar and finding Vader's castle, and after reading the cool Tales From Vader's Castle comic I expected more of the same here, and I got it with Vaneer who somehow is still alive after so many years, imparting tales steeped in the morals of the dark side while searching for Sith treasures. I really dig how they took so many little nods to the horror genre in this, a lot of it being classic stuff with The Old Dark House plot of travellers being somewhere they shouldn't, the anthology nature of the stories The Twilight Zone style, treasure hunting cursed relics, a hilarious spoof of The Shining, they had a lot of fun with this and while it wouldn't slightly intimidate younger audiences the comedy is still spot on. And yes I had the time of my life seeing Luke Skywalker join the Imperial Academy and train under Lord Vader, that is how the movies should have went and I will hear nothing else, it was beautiful, funny, and perfect. 10/10 for that story segment! I know it's primarily for laughs and shouldn't be taken seriously at all but I really liked certain aspects of the stories and would love to know more about it. Voice cast is still spot on with very good sound alikes, while still having veterans from the Clone Wars series work their magic. Hell seeing Sam Witwer still play Maul as serious even in this comedy is worth it alone, he juggles that so well but is it any surprise that I'm not fawning over this man and his performance. We love you Sam, always. I give it 3 stars, 7/10, and it is high time I finally catch up on the Star Wars shows. Long have I waited for visions from distant lands, and the continuation after the fallout of the clone wars.

Friday, October 29, 2021

Last Night In Soho

Oh my God. Where do I start?

This is easily one of those movies that I have a lot to say but can't. It's truly a film that must be experienced, and it surpassed greatly what little expectations I had for it. It follows a young girl named Ella who moves out of the quiet countryside straight to London to become a fashion designer, and starts to have strange dreams of a young performer in the mid 1960s, as reality and dreams shift, merge, and stir madness. I swear if this movie does not nab best director, cinematography, editing, picture at the Oscars I will f***ing riot. It has been too damn long since I have seen a film this good looking. The colors are nothing short of kaleidoscopic, the editing and framing is a masterclass, the performances are so engrossing, the music selection is very good, just all the technicals are top notch. Speaking of performances, I would die to protect Thomasin McKenzie she is so sweet and charming, such a great lead for this film and she carried it brilliantly. Believe it or not, I'm gonna have a hard time seeing Anya Taylor-Joy as anyone but aspiring star Sandie, she could not have looked better and more suited in 60s style and fashion if she tried, despite me seeing her in other stuff. Her story only gets more involved and it had me hook, line, and sinker. Matt Smith is a dashing young man in a plot involving time travel, I'm trying so hard not to go there, and boy is it wonderful to see that handsome man again. Oh, I need to watch The Crown to see more of him. It would take me longer than the movie to gush about these visuals so I'll just say, holy shit. Edgar you mad lad legend, just how did you get it this psychedelic yet refined? Unbelievable. And it dips it's toes into the horror genre without question, though it focuses more on mystery and a severe psychological thriller side of things. All of it plays brilliantly, it's one part The Lovely Bones, one part The Night Walker, with a dash of Mean Girls, and a twist of Cruella, with a cherry on top of Corpse Bride. As last reviews go for October, this was great! 4 stars, 8.5/10, some people will bitch and moan that the plot makes no sense, or it's just artsy for artsy sake, well you can't have too much positivity in the world. Go see it! It's a wild time.

Thursday, October 28, 2021

The Night Walker

Just one more before another new film.

As a person who has not seen many William Castle films, I've only seen House On Haunted Hill and a bit of The Tingler, this will be a hard one to top. And most of his films showcase some gimmick, he was a showman first and a director second but did both really well, yet with this movie it's just a little horror film that branches into a mystery and it works quite well I thought. It got me from the opening theme which I love to death, it honestly sounds like something I would hear on the Goosebumps show and it even threw me for a loop or two as the story neared it's end. The story follows a widowed wife of a blind scientist who dies in an explosion, but is haunted by him in her dreams 2 decades before Freddy Krueger, and the dreams only deepen leading to an investigation. I love the opening with a more subtly creepy narrator who discusses dreams and sets the mood perfectly for the film. Barbara Stanwyck is a very good lead, and I actually applaud Castle on the fact that there really aren't any young faces in the cast, there be no 20 somethings playing teenagers in this horror film, and she is a phenomenal screamer. Like those screams put other scream queens to shame. Hayden Rorke as the scientist with all the burn makeup is effectively creepy and is used sparingly as he should be. Since the film deals with dreams there are several surreal sections that actually feel like you are experiencing a fever dream, with mannequin people, dreams within dreams, a good few jumpscares, and all the while the music plays on. It's no classic but I applaud the screenwriter Robert Bloch who also wrote Psycho, and consider it to be a quite good movie. To my knowledge until fairly recently this movie was only on VHS and just got a Blu-Ray release in 2018, but I was fortunate to watch it once again on the Youtubes and it does somewhat upset me I can't watch a lot of these movies in the middle of the night because of my schedule, very few horror movies can have such a strong effect even in daylight so I do urge you to watch it when the sun is long gone, in the glow of your TV, and see what kind of dreams you have afterward. 3.5 stars, 7/10, and regrettably tomorrow will be the last review of October. It's forever bittersweet to know the month is nearly over but Halloween is approaching with supernatural speed and I can't wait.

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

The Man They Could Not Hang

And the one hour hit wonders roll on.

Man I don't know what ticket prices were in 1939 but people must have really got their money's worth. A more unknown yet highly praised Karloff role, the story of this movie is such a great concept it really shocks me such an idea hasn't been reused in cinema. An acclaimed scientist Dr. Savaard has created a method to ressurect the recently dead, but this is no Plan 9 and before he can fully test his experiment on a college volunteer he is arrested and tried for murder. This is something I actually got a lot out of, we know Savaard is on the level by his conviction alone that this would have worked yet the moral and ethical issue is explored a bit and makes you question whether he should be put on trial to begin with. I genuinely don't see him as a villain in this role until later on when he gathers the courtroom members who gave him the death penalty and he has several traps in his home to execute them. With a plot like that the influence can be seen decades after the fact with The Abominable Dr. Phibes, and needless to even say the Saw franchise. Boris Karloff is outstanding in this role, it's such a great part for him with his ever gentlemanly demeanor mixed with deliciously devious determinations to kill the people who wronged him, I think this is such an underrated role of his long career. The rest of the cast do fine work, but it goes without saying they used Karloff to the max in every way. I can see some people not liking the ending considering how abrupt and somewhat contrived it is, but I do still urge people to dig this one up. It's a very well made film, with good sets, mood enhancing lighting, the camera work is very fluid and almost feels handheld at times, it's most definitely a movie that should be considered to be a minor classic and I had a very enjoyable time watching it. The highlights being Saavard's blisteringly dark and direct damning of the members of the court, and when he reveals himself to be alive once more, it showcases nothing but the best from Karloff. 4 stars, 7.5/10, you can catch this film for free on Dailymotion and you won't have much time to lose. Once more unto the breach my friends, once more!

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Dracula's Daughter

What a film!

I will severely go on record here and say Dracula's Daughter is an excellent film, beyond worthy to be part of the classic Universal Monsters lineup, and I absolutely loved it. For a movie that is again just a bit over an hour long, the pacing couldn't be better as we pick up right after Dracula as the plot involves Professor Van Helsing having to deal with the aftermath of killing Dracula as he is charged with murder, and the drama of Countess Marya Zaleska seeking to be rid of the vampire's curse. Where do I start praising this film? Gloria Holden is amazing, absolutely wonderful in the main role, she has such a needless to say gorgeous physique and her acting shines throughout. Even though her first appearance isn't as classic and memorable as Bela she still pulls off this powerful, creepy, striking visage and I absolutely adore her. In fact all of the cast is on incredible form here, Edward Van Sloane returns and it's just great to see him add on to an already memorable performance, Otto Krueger plays a great leading man and for someone who was 50 years old at the time of filming he doesn't look it and has such an interesting realtionship with the Countess, Marguerite Churchill is amazing and has such a fantastic bickering married couple type relationship with Otto and was genuinely one of the only romances in a horror film that I fully wanted to blossom, and I just have to say Irving Pitchel is perfect, there's just no other way to say it, he's perfect as the Countess' servant Sandor like oh my God this man is a treasure. There are comedic moments in it throughout but never does it detract from the film, it made me laugh and broadly smile quite a bit and increased my enjoyment of the film. The sets are spectacular, from London streets, to foggy forests, to a phenomenal return to Castle Dracula, in fact everything in the production is great. The lighting works wonders and adds to the creepy factor, the camera work is very nice, the music is a lot more present than most Universal horror films. It just really shows what a 5 year leap in cinema can do, cause this ended the first classic Universal Monsters phase before it kickstarted again with Son Of Frankenstein, and the level of filmmaking has only improved since 1931. It is a crime in my eyes this movie is not talked about enough or appreciated enough in the horror community. It is just as great as Dracula, The Mummy, The Wolf Man, Bride Of Frankenstein, all of them. Like, this film without a shadow of a doubt reminded me why I love these movies so dearly, why I regard the classic monsters as highly as I do, hell I think you could introduce someone to these movies with a double bill of Dracula and Dracula's Daughter and get them interested. I really think it's that good. It's nothing but 4 stars, 9/10, this put me in such a great mood and grounded me that much deeper into the most wonderful time of the year.

Monday, October 25, 2021

White Zombie

The first Zombie movie and what an opening entry.

Of course this is before the gut devouring shambling zombies, but traditional haitian zombies and one I feel we need to see more of. If ever I was to make a zombie movie it would be voodoo zombies, though even in this film they call them the living dead. So the story follows a couple in Haiti who are about to be wed, but their host for the wedding is smitten by the bride and enlists the help of the zombie lord, played outstandingly by Bela Lugosi, leading the husband and a local preacher to try to break the hypnosis and rescue the girl. For a film made in 1932 it actually has a ton of ambition and really more modern techniques employed throughout it. We get split screens, screen wipes, a scene shot in one long continuous take and ends exactly where the scene began, framing through objects, it really is a very fine looking film and not just because I found a really damn good print for free on YouTube by Cult Cinema Classics. Yes this is one of those public domain movies and the fact you can get it in such great quality and the movie is barely over an hour long, you have precisely nothing to lose. I feel this is Bela Lugosi's most devilish, creepy, and evil performance and I treasure him in Dracula, and while the menace is undoubtedly there in that movie there is just something here that strikes me. I still stand by my claim that eyes can be the most terrifying thing in the world and Bela firmly proves that here. He's on top performance and you can tell he is relishing every moment. Never to shy away from the rest of the cast, I think the couple does fine and while John Harron is very much the straight laced dashing young hero he does bring a bit to the part, and Madge Bellamy is the epitome of what I think women looked like in the roaring 20s and the early 30s, I actually quite liked the preacher who is a more light hearted character but comes through in the end. It's great to finally see it after so many years of seeing it through different films, shows, and even music. I doubt it's any surprise Rob Zombie named his first band after this film, and he just has a lot of appreciation for cult horror from the early days of cinema which I in turn appreciate. It is well worth seeing, one stop short of classic but it has it's abundance of fans and I'll gladly be one. Join in and get hypnotized, zombified, and creepified by this film. 4 stars, 7.5/10, and it's tradition at this point to review at least one black and white horror movie but considering this is the last full week of October, and a good chunk of this month has been non-horror related stuff, stay tuned throughout the week for even more classical noir thrillers.

Friday, October 22, 2021

Dune (2021)

I think it might have had the same impact on me as the Lynch version.

That's not even a slam against this movie, but I think it's because they're splitting it rightfully so into two movies, it feels hard to talk about it when you haven't truly seen the whole thing. I'm fairly certain when I did Deathly Hallows I treated it as one cohesive whole and not two seperate entities, so I feel this review is more a formality until I can experience the whole thing. It's real good though. This was a dream project for Denis to direct and you feel that passion and love in every frame, he wants to make this as good as possible while not holding the audiences hand very much like Blade Runner 2049, he just goes there consequences be damned. And I'm fairly certain I was the most informed person in that theater about the universe of Dune, so I probably got more out of it than most other people did. The story is just the same as the Lynch version with deviations throughout and all of it worked well. Once again I thought the cast was really damn good with obvious love going to Oscar and Jason, but I felt Timothee Chalamet was greatly cast for Paul. Oscar was awesome and handsome as ever, Jason got to kick ass and hold the honor of being Duncan Idaho (which is either the most silly or most amazing sci-fi name ever), Rebecca Ferguson and Zendaya didn't do that much for me but still played it real well, even Josh Brolin was a strong presence for a relatively small role. I don't know why but as I was watching Stellan Skarsgard play the Baron all I could think of was, "You know who would fit this role? Marlon Brando later on in his career." Why? I...don't know. The visuals as expected were a feast to the eyes, I mean Denis just knows how to make sweet love to your eyeballs with his camera, the landscapes, color grading, movement, just overall excellent cinematography. Hell when you first see the great Shai-Halud rise from the sands, it genuinely made my jaw drop, like no horeshit Jack real talk here, it really got me despite seeing it in the trailer. It just goes to show what a sound system and giant screen can achieve, and you bet your ass I was sitting (like I always do) dead center of the screen as close as I can without having to break my neck. It wasn't this grand, magnificent, masterpiece of cinema but I very much hope it succeeds at the box office to warrant the second part. I very much liked it, and even if it is the only Dune book to be adapted I will be okay with that. 4 stars, solid 8/10, that's all folks! See you next week.

Dune (1984)

Where to start with Dune?

It's a wild movie. It's like if you mixed Blade Runner, Tron, and really any 80s cult sci-fi film together, and I've been hearing a lot of shit talking about it in recent days from useless hack websites who have nothing better to write about while I actually kinda liked it. Again, for a person who only got about a quarter of the way through the book I was keeping up with it, had a good time, and while there are things that were off this is by no means a bad film. Though I heard the production was a bit of a wreck and David Lynch totally disowns this film which is a shame because he took the director's chair because he saw a lot of potential, but the studio wanted a specific movie and didn't even give him final cut privileges, the only film he directed where he didn't have the final say. That's a real shame that it's such a bad memory for him cause the film is honestly decent. I hear it takes bits from all the books but mainly focuses on the first, with Paul Atreides leaving his home planet with his family to the planet Arrakis to expand the family's power and wealth only to be targeted by another family clan as Paul rises to his destiny and declares war on the entire empire controlling Arrakis. It's not a bad story, and the way it's told isn't perfect but I never had 20 questions per scene and felt the cast while giving a more film serial performance was still very good. I know a lot of people gave Kale good grief because he seemed too old for the character of Paul but he looked very young, and is easily the best actor in the film. Which is saying something when you have Patrick Stewart, Jurgen Prochnow, Sean Young, and Max Von Sydow in the same cast. Even with the performance of the utterly hammy and absurd Baron Vladimir, it looks like Kenneth McMillan is having the time of his life playing this bonkers villain to the max. The special effects and set design is really great stuff, with detailed sets, unique costuming, the sandworms look awesome, it's a very 80s looking film in every respect but I dig that kind of look. It's a very dramatized story with dramatic acting, hence why it felt very Flash Gordon to me but I hold no major grievances with it. It's decent, I liked the cast, I got the story which was very streamlined for audiences, but yeah even I was quoting lines and rocking out to the music when Paul rides the worm. So call me a fan, and I'm curious how the new film will adapt the book for better or worse. 3 stars, 7/10.