Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Marvel Cinematic Universe (Ranked)

This is where the fun begins...

22. Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2

21. Iron Man 2

20. Captain Marvel

19. Thor

18. Ant-Man

17. Ant-Man & The Wasp

16. Avengers: Age Of Ultron

15. Iron Man 3

14. Captain America: The First Avenger

13. Avengers: Infinity War

12. Avengers: Endgame

11. Thor: The Dark World

10. Guardians Of The Galaxy

9. Thor: Ragnarok

8. The Avengers

7. Spider-Man: Homecoming

6. Iron Man

5. The Incredible Hulk

4. Captain America: Civil War

3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

2. Black Panther

1. Doctor Strange

Interesting, isn't it? It may be until October for the next batch of reviews but who knows, I might get some inspiration to whip something up like I always do. So I hope you stick around for that. Have a great day, great evening, good times for all!

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Avengers: Endgame

I'm done. Goodbye. The end.

Great job converting me to a Marvel fan, you know for one of the longest godforsaken running film series in history, it didn't do much for me. Now does that necessarily mean Endgame is a bad movie? No, I wouldn't say that but considering this is the last MCU movie I might ever review it didn't exactly leave me wowed. To be honest after my viewing of this movie, my idea about calling this one Infinity War makes so much more goddamn sense than Endgame. The last movie should have been called that because it was about Thanos, his plan, his actions, his victory. And I have to say I kinda hated the direction this movie went in, not only did we introduce time travel which okay, is a comic book trope but it's done so much better in other movies, but we also pull a f***ing retcon too. Just, ugh. I'm just passively watching at this point, and it pisses me off because the tone in this movie was exactly what was needed in Infinity War. It's a very somber, slow paced, even kinda desperate movie with our defeated heroes going out on a thin limb to try to circumvent the events of Infinity War, but it was far too little far too late. And I think the first 20 minutes so did not help, now I will say the interactions and very brief relationship given between Tony and Nebula I thought was pretty great but it just sorta ends there. For a movie that's a bit over 3 hours long, we don't get a lot of character moments. Not really. When 90% of the characters that we have watched for a decade are nothing but glorified cameos in this movie, it loses a lot of impact. I think in the first 10 minutes of the movie Tony gets rescued by Captain Marvel, then by the 15 minute mark they know exactly where the farm is that Thanos is living at, and by the 20 minute mark they kill him. How the shit do you keep going? You avenged countless people, the movie's over. But no, we flash forward 5 years which I truthfully thought was going to be immediately the start of this movie, with kind of a World War Z documentary about what the Avengers have been doing, and how the world has slowly begun rebuilding itself after such a cataclysm but we only get such brief glimpses into such a fascinating world. Which sucks, I wanted to know how the world was operating. So they get the brilliant idea to time travel which of course they figure out and construct the time machine in like, a day. So the plan is to pull a Back To The Future 2, and collect all the Infinity Stones from the previous movies to the point I thought they were going to pull a Gamera and have lengthy amounts of stock footage but thankfully the space gods were kind and spared me that. And that was kinda the point I completely gave up on the MCU because my mind was trying to figure out in what way this would completely ass rape the entire continuity, but I quickly gave up because I still don't care enough even to deconstruct 10 years of storytelling. I'm just so flabbergasted how people just ate these movies up and went to every movie like sheep, when honestly the MCU is like 85% average movies, 10% actual good movies, and 5% f***ing garbage, and believe me I'll rank them tomorrow. I just...what do you want me to say? The final battle was hitting Prequel levels hard and fast, the character interactions were okay just like in almost every other Marvel film, if anything this movie might have ever so slightly made me appreciate Infinity War more though this is a superior film to it, but you killed my girl so I hope you rot for that. Buuut you made Hulk the real hero who saved the entire universe, oh sure Tony got the enemy killing snap, la-dee-flippin'-da, but Bruce was the one who saved everybody. Actually the more I think about it Hulk was my only favorite part of this, I never thought I would see the day where the mind of Bruce was in the body of the Hulk, I've wanted to see that for years never thinking it was possible but it actually happened, it was everything I hoped it would be and just further reinforces why Hulk is the best superhero Marvel has to offer ever. I'm honestly upset Thanos did not win, they had to go push the reset button in true comic fashion. And you know what? I would take the coin flip. Heads I win, tails you lose. Yes, I would deal with that if I won and I lost people. Christ, if it would be anything like the environment we have right now outside our window, less pollution, empty places, nature improving and growing in terms of plants and animals, and the ability to reshape the world as a better place, then sign me up, snap away big guy, I am here and I am waiting. Oh sweet merciful angels there was some manipulation in this, I kind of find it despicable that you give Tony Stark a daughter only to get the audience emotionally invested, it is so cheap and so emotionally manipulative to the point where the ending did precisely f*** all for me. And lest we not forget the total pandering scene. You know the one. Why? Why is it there? I thought the scene in Infinity War with Okoye, Scarlett Witch, and Black Widow throwing down with that whoever the shit her name was, was actually good I kinda liked seeing them tag team that villain. Here though, wow it was such pandering, ineffectual, egregious bullshit. I might not have seen anything in Captain Marvel, but here? They're f***ing doing it man. I'm so tired. You know, we started off I thought kind of strong, but the quality just ebbed and flowed so inconsistently. I do not recommend marathoning these movies, you will get burned out before you are even halfway there. I honestly never want to review a MCU movie again in the near future. I won't say I was disappointed but I was certainly confused as to the absurd popularity of these movies, if I was being on the level with you and I am, I would watch....6 out of 22 movies. Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Winter Soldier, Civil War, Doctor Strange, and Black Panther. That's it. And you know what pisses me off? Every single shitsucking studio is trying to replicate this series, with the often misplaced humor, big battles, and expansively linked universes. Just. Stop. You are polluting the airwaves with garbage!! Accept that Marvel got an idea that was lightning in a bottle and actually do something original with your movies. Even my beloved DC needs to cease and desist, and just focus on making good movies which is what they are doing. Screw the cinematic universe in it's fat stupid ass! I am done with it! I'm shutting it down!! Yes, I wanted the Dark Universe to succeed, yes I love the match ups in DC's movies, but you just need to stop trying to be a poser MCU. You can do better just by making a good movie. But they're not. And this is why I fundamentally hate the MCU, it changed everything and not for the better. To quote the ahem, best superhero movie ever made, "But we both know the truth, there's no going back. You've changed things...forever." and I'm just waiting for this fad to die a very horrible and very quick unceremonious death. I'm a reasonable guy but I have experienced some very unreasonable things. 2.5 stars, 6.5/10. Never again.

Monday, September 21, 2020

Captain Marvel

Well that was average.

I really haven't heard a single good thing about Captain Marvel ever. I seriously expected this to be a bottom of the barrel Marvel movie, worse than Guardians 2 but truthfully it was okay. It has problems sure but it ain't trash either. So we meet up with Carol Danvers on an alien world where she essentially works as a special forces soldier battling an enemy constantly infiltrating and usurping control of worlds. After being captured and interrogated, memories awaken of a life before the one she remembers and she very quickly crashes on Earth searching for answers as to who she is. Now I will completely admit this is by no means a bad story, with better writing this could be a very emotional and powerful story about a woman who has been lied to her entire life and through circumstances very slowly unearths memories of who she really is and her subsequent vengeance on those who have lied to her and made her a living weapon. That would be a rad story, but we only get bits of it in this movie and it doesn't have an emotional punch to it. I've heard many people say oh Captain Marvel has no arc or development, oh she's too overpowered to the point where there is no tension in the fight scenes, and yes you are correct but how is that different from most other Marvel characters? True some heroes did have arcs in a single movie but a lot of them had to have 2 or 3 movies to complete an arc, and Brie Larson isn't terrible in this movie. I found she had very good screen chemistry with Sam Jackson, and while she didn't have much of a reaction to her past, there are hints of a personality to her character. I personally blame the script more than the actor. And what's this whole, there's no tension to the fights shit? Name one Marvel movie where there was tension in a fight scene beyond Infinity War. Go ahead. I got time. The fights are for spectacle not for story purposes, save for perhaps Civil War but even then there's not much tension. I wasn't expecting someone to bite the bullet in ANY Marvel movie except Infinity War. To be perfectly honest I hated one part of the movie, just one! The ending was a bit forced. Like really forced. Like are you kidding me kind of forced. Beyond that I didn't care much. This Marvel movie burnout has set in pretty much from Captain America, so I was just so not caring for the most part. There were a handful of things I liked, Nick Fury is awesome in this movie granted it's a different take from how we usually see him but Sam made it highly enjoyable, I kinda liked the soundtrack it had good energy and was catchy at points, I actually didn't mind the whole enemy twist thing and the standoff between Brie Larson and Jude Law really got a cute laugh out of me. I thought it was funny and kinda great. And yeah this movie is taking place in 1995, so I get my nostalgia but thanks for rubbing salt in my wounds with the Blockbuster you buncha' jackasses. But I was really expecting a very hamfisted, heavy handed, totally pandering elements in this movie with how much people were bitching about it. But honestly, I didn't see anything. No agenda pushing bullshit, no cringey lines, no women superior men inferior nonsense. I found the montage of her constantly falling down and picking herself back up to be a good message for every single human being on the face of the planet, and I could kinda see a moment or two when young girls might look up to Captain Marvel. Hero worship is no bad thing in my eyes. So it was a very middle of the road movie which could be argued is the worst crime of all. With a bad movie there's at least something to rant and rave about, and with a good movie there's plenty to talk about what you liked or loved. But with middle of the road movies they kinda just get forgotten, I'm really not expecting this movie to stick in my mind. It's an introduction movie before we see her in Endgame, that's the purpose of the film. So maybe that's why it feels not so well written, they just needed to quickly do like a character introduction/recap before they appear in a big event movie. It's a skip for sure but it's harmless. 2 stars, 5/10.

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Ant-Man & The Wasp

Alright movie, you got me.

I was severely confused why exactly this movie came after Infinity War, for like 99% of the movie I was thinking how better it would have worked if it came before or after Black Panther but nope they tie it in. And to be perfectly honest, I did like this movie better than the first Ant-Man. So Scott has been placed on house arrest after aiding Captain America in Civil War but quickly slides back into things as he helps Hank and Hope try to bring back the most important woman in the world to them, while a new enemy known as the Ghost is hell bent on stealing Hank's work to benefit her own needs. I honestly thought Hope was going to be Ghost, she goes subatomic trying to find her mom, her mind snaps like a Kit-Kat, and she just goes on a rampage able to phase through walls, but they didn't and while it might have made for a more interesting story I actually didn't mind. There's no real villain, even the people set up as villains are just normal people who want things done their way. Except for Walton Goggins, he's pretty much always a villain and I really wanted more of him in this movie, ever since seeing him in Justified and Vice Principals it's almost harboring on a man crush for this guy, he's just awesome. I feel this actually is a case where the sequel is superior to the first movie, every element has been improved. The effects are better and they get to do more fun stuff with shrinking and growing, I mean I was kinda joking about the Honey I Shrunk series but it really does seem like those movies. Though yeah....the physics and dynamics of the suit size is still off, I'm pretty sure if I stood 20 feet away from an 80 foot tall giant who started to speak I'd go deaf. Granted not all of it is bad and is physically sound but there's other things where you just scratch your head and go, how? I know, I know, it's comic books, are we really bringing logic into it? Well the correct answer is yes, because while slightly sci-fi it can still be possible to achieve this, and it has to make sense in our world. But the comedy while mostly still not getting much from me was toned back and did get a good laugh out of me from time to time, I even liked Michael Pena a lot in this movie. I don't know, the story and character motivations really hit me harder than in the first movie. When Hank sees his wife in 30 years, I fully 120% believed his reaction, he doesn't even speak a word he just emotionally breaks down, that's a f***ing good scene, boy howdy let me tell ya. I felt a stronger connection between Scott and his daughter even though that was one aspect of the first that was still quite good, every action Scott does is because of his daughter and it's a driving force an awful lot of people can identify with. I quite liked this movie, nothing great but still good, has some hokey science in it, has some decent characters, all in all it's a fun little movie and I can see people really digging it so knock yourself out.  2.5 stars, 6.5/10, Brie Larson, let's dance.

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Avengers: Infinity War (Part 2)

Part twoooo, the reckoning.

But how does anybody outside of like Gamora and possibly Thor know what the Gauntlet is and what it does? Cause Bruce explains the whole importance of it and I'm just wondering how he knew. Actually tell you the truth, the Infinity Gauntlet doesn't make a lick of sense either. "The universe is finite, it's resources finite.", dude I saw you create a swarm of bats from an energy blast, you can do anything. Quadruple the resources! "Reality can be whatever I want.", okay so why do you need all 6 stones? And why does everything the Gauntlet do reverse when Thanos uses the Space Stone? Like when he turns Drax and Mantis into disproportionate shapes, after he leaves it all goes back to normal. Why? I doubt Thanos is the kinda guy who shows mercy on his enemies, so I guess you have to be right in front of the Infinity Gauntlet for it to have an effect, so the range sucks harder than an AT&T tower. We already know Thanos goes from planet to planet and wipes out half the population so what does the snap do? Reduce the half to a quarter? That's not very f***ing balanced at all now is it. Now if the Gauntlet was just this super mega ultra doomsday weapon then I could get behind it, but it's not. And for a movie called Infinity War, there wasn't much action beyond the Wakanda fight. I know it would have been impossible to surpass Return Of The King standards of action and war scenes, but give us something to go wow at. Infinity Battle would have been more appropriate, or hell just call it Avengers: The Infinity Gauntlet, then you name the next one Infinity War because I'm assuming the conflict in Endgame will dwarf this by a mile long. The more I think about this movie, the more I think less of it. The characters are fine, but that's because we've had all these movies beforehand to flesh them out and they remain constants, with little dynamic change to their personalities and overall characteristics which defies the purpose of putting them through these trials and tribulations. The action is serviceable but not worthy of the title of the movie as stated above. The story's pacing and tone needed considerable tweaking, the pacing was adequate but had too many strands to connect leading to a somewhat bloated story necessitating a longer runtime to better the progression and character moments, and the tone kind of just needed to go more serious and maybe a little deep to really hit home the final scene. And why was there an end credits scene? Did you really need that? Imagine if they did it this way: the snap, play out the scene as normal, content smile, darkness, and dead silence through almost the whole credits to let that sink in and have this disquieting silence fall over the audience, and no end credits scene. It would get people talking like mad as to what would happen next. But no. Gotta sell that next product, always have to advertise that next movie, couldn't just open Captain Marvel with that scene or just do Captain Marvel. Ugh, f*** me. The only saving grace was the villain, and while it is fun to quote Thanos, the words have purpose, and meaning, and most of all emotion to them that made them so memorable. Actually a quote that stuck with me for reasons unknown even to myself was when Thanos is about to reverse time to claim the soul stone, "Now is no time at all." it struck me as this metaphysical line where he could stop time with a motion of his hand and it could be kind of like that scene in Doctor Strange when the Ancient One and Strange are seeing time being dragged out making one moment last a lifetime, that this instant before having all the Infinity Stones is another time so distant it might as well be millenia ago. It's an odd one to be sure, but something about it kind of stuck with me. 2.5 stars, 6/10. Reality is often disappointing.

Avengers: Infinity War (Part 1)

I still don't get the fandom.

Infinity War was not bad by any stretch, there were several elements I greatly enjoyed, there was some stuff that made me quite aggrivated, but all in all it came down to being a good movie. Not a great movie or a perfect movie, nor a bad movie or cinematic trash. It's okay. And for those few who are still reading this, let's get going. I liked the story, it's a bit flawed and I would have done this differently, not much but just tweaks that would give the film more weight. So Thanos has finally entered the chat and is hunting down the Infinity Stones. Pause. I am not actually a fan of him literally grabbing these impossibly rare and extrememly powerful gems one right after the other in the span of a single day, I actually would have liked it if we slowly saw him get a stone every so few movies, to build that anticipation and intrigue as to what the final goal is and what the gauntlet does. Since there's 6 stones, I would have preferred if he got the last two in this movie, therefore creating more drama that, oh shit he's nearly got them all we gotta act fast or we're completely screwed. Resume. That's basically the plot, we're going gem hunting while the scattered forces of the Marvel heroes are desperately trying to form a defensive plan to take this guy out. That's fine, I think the movie severely lacks dramtic tension at times and if I'm being ruthlessly honest....kinda shoots itself in the foot. A lot. Case in point, Thanos snaps Loki's neck. Unfortunately I felt no resounding effect because I've seen the crafty bastard elude death more times than I can remember so why should this time be any more final? Steve and the renegade members of the Avengers get back into the story, but they kinda just pop out of nowhere to save Vision and Scarlett Witch when they never explain how they found them to begin with. They didn't track them, they couldn't track them, they pop up in a totally random place, I know it's just for that Cap reveal but sloppy writing is sloppy shitty writing. Which is odd because most of the weaving of all these different characters into a singular movie is quite honestly handled well, even if the pacing gets sidestepped because there's too damn many, but it's there to set up future stuff in the plot so whatever. Thanos has an entourage which immediately threw me right the f*** off because if there was ever a villain that did not need a sidekick, let alone 4 of them it would be Thanos. He even has this brown nosing little ponce who is also his hype man, I mean what in the actual shit is this? So much for that "I'll do it myself" if you send your Team Rocket lackeys to do the work for you, my God they were beyond pointless. Oh and Red Skull is here too and he has How?? Why??? I don't know. But he's there. I was slightly shocked at the runtime, I assumed this was going to be the 3 hour finale but it came up 30 minutes short which I felt to be odd because this is the kind of movie that needs that amount of length, you could really set up this heavily foreboding atmosphere as each hero tries in their own way to prepare for the oncoming battle, to get more backstory to Thanos, to really sink in the seriousness of it all. But it just feels like the same old Marvel movies, there's nothing more to this movie than the others beside the ending. Now on one hand, I commend that. It lulls the audience into a false sense of security where the heroes will come out on top but then drops the anvil right on their heads in a very unexpected manner. Which is kinda what they did, but it doesn't have that serious, dramatic, finality punch to it that it so desperately needs. This should have been almost devoid of humor like if a person tried to make a joke it would either fall flat or be given the cold shoulder by other members of the group, with a lot more quiet intimate moments with our heroes where they face the possibility of dying and have to come to terms with it, and the tension and fear when Thanos is on screen should have been priority number one because we don't know anything about him. Sure comic fans know this guy backwards and forwards, and even knows the original reason why Thanos wanted the Infinity Gauntlet (spoiler alert he was a thirsty f***boi), but most audience members have no clue who he is. We've seen the briefest of appearances but essentially know precisely dick, and while the film does a very good job cementing his character, we kinda needed more or maybe I just wanted more. The film constantly kinda keeps breaking itself almost on a subconscious level, like with Doctor Strange. He has the time stone, he can manipulate time to an insane degree, and this is kinda where the movie falls apart, because even when Thanos has four out of six Infinity Stones, Strange could still reverse time maybe to oh I don't know, save Tony from getting stabbed, or to rewind time to stop Star Lord from literally f***ing over the entire universe (we'll get to him I promise), or to just pull the Dormammu trick again. Christ he even says the Time Stone is the best chance they have against Thanos! And he hands the thing over after Tony gets stabbed and begs to spare his life. Um....Doc, he doesn't have a hostage. He shanked Stark, he's dying, there is no bargain chip, hit the rewind button, do some trippy cosmic magic tricks, save him. Do you see the issue with the Time Stone? The heroes are kind of dumbasses in this movie, Strange was bad but Quill....this stupid motherf***ing shitlord. Okay, so the group has got Thanos, they are doing everything in their power to restrain him and get the gauntlet, and they are actually even surprisingly succeeding. Hurrah! Until Star Lord hears about Gamora and instead of waiting 10 seconds for them to get the gauntlet off and then pump him so full of goddamn holes it would give people trypophobia, he starts wailing on the guy which shock of all shocks, rapes the plan with a splintered broomstick and leads to devastating losses for the entire universe. Good job. Yes I'm blaming him. You know that whole 1 in 14,000,605 odds against them winning? Well if Peter pissed off for a minute, that 1 would have been the win. I'm just really not liking the Guardians at this point, Quill is a stupid asshole, Gamora is mostly bland and I could care less for her character even with her daddy issues, Rocket's schtick is dead to me, Groot is just there, pretty much Drax and Mantis are the only ones I really like. Even poor Josh Brolin who is doing damn amazing work in this role can't fully salvage the movie, which is a shame because he is singlehandedly the best part of the entire movie. You see the machinations in his mind, you see and feel that this terrible thing he is trying to do feels justified and even logical in his eyes, his performance is the best performance in Marvel not just on an acting standpoint but a character standpoint. People have made videos on this guy for years now and for good reason, he's a fascinating character study to undertake. Josh Brolin is great, harboring on perfect. I personally actually like how he defeats the Hulk, you'd think I would hate it because my boy just got his ass handed to him, but it shows Thanos cannot be subdued by a brawl and that he knows how to fight, meaning you have to find another way to beat him. But I just feel he's too good for this movie. Again, Infinity War is not a bad movie but it has flaws that hurt the film quite a bit. My main problem was the tone, I think my false sense of security for the audience idea was the intended effect that the director's were going for but it just doesn't feel that high stakes and it should! We are talking about the fate of countless worlds and people, a truly horrible person wielding unlimited powah, and it's the same old shit. If you're not going to treat this subject material seriously and make it as good as possible with hard, dark, possibly even deep moments then just stop. You don't get to skate around this on your same old tropes, do something with it! Make it like an epic tragedy, a proper war film where people die, where it's a constant struggle for these gemstones, treat it as if you are making one of the greatest and most powerful films ever made where Ingmar Bergmann or Akira Kurosawa would applaud it. But screw that, we gotta make it for the kids you little bastards, go buy our shit! Why make it an actual good film that will be talked about for decades for pushing the envelope of comic book movies? I assume you wanted to tell this story from almost the beginning, why else would you make 18 damn movies beforehand? So you feel the impact, so you give a shit, so you are invested in the story. Well congratulations you did that, now where's the movie worthy of that payoff? It's just another standard Marvel movie with a very strong ending. And let's talk about the snap heard 'round the world. It's impact didn't fully do it for me because well, I've waited two years to watch this movie. When the scene has practically become an iconic meme it loses that gravitas, I knew it was going to happen, when it was going to happen, who got dusted, and how the film ended. Do I still appreciate it? Very. The lack of music, the almost washed out colors, the unceremonious deaths of characters we've watched for years, it's an experly crafted scene....but that atmosphere and tone should have permeated the entire film. Oh my God, I have to split the review cause I'm still not done. So um, get ready for more of this!

Friday, September 18, 2020

Second Viewing: Black Panther

Yeah yeah, I still haven't found a better name but it's all I could think of.

It was great going back to this, and yet another good example of a standalone movie. I literally had no idea we were going to see Andy Serkis and Black Panther in Age Of Ultron, because this movie did such a good job being a self contained movie. I never once had a question of who these people were, where are we, or when are we, which is good storytelling. I was just like, oh snap Black Panther's father was killed in an embassay bombing, oh he knows Martin Freeman because of his reputation in the CIA, oh Andy Serkis is a weapons dealer with stolen tech from Wakanda. It's another great beginner's movie for this series, and I do genuinely love the story. T'Challa is kind of a modern King Arthur, very strong moral compass, might for right, has difficulty accepting his role as a king, violence is not strength and compassion is not weakness, all that good jazz. So Black Panther is waaay up there as one of my favorite Marvel characters, and Chadwick Boseman is really damn good. In fact, all the cast is good! Michael B. Jordan though great as a hero can play a villain with conviction and presence, fuelled by rage and contempt for centuries of horrible actions that harmed his ancestors and the dilemma given that if he goes through with his plan he is no better than the people who subjugated his ancestors is a strong one. It's a great dynamic between hero and villain, not just on physical prowess but their own sense of morality and mindsets. Lupita Nyong'o is great, Danai Guira is a lot of fun, Angela Bassett is astonishing as always, and Martin Freeman proves himself as an ally even though he was kind of a dick before. So cast is still very strong in my eyes, the visuals are amazing, the tech I honestly don't have a problem with at all because this is a culture that has been refining their technology for thousands if not tens of thousands of years so I can buy how their city and machinery works, the spiritual aspect I appreciate with the ancestral plane, and the action is pretty good but it's kinda more of a drama because the action is spread out. But I'm okay with that because I really do like the characters, I'd probably go so far as to say this is the best ensemble cast of the entire Marvel series, now I know the Avengers are good but even I have slight issue with them. But with Wakanda? I like all the main characters, I like their personality, I like their design, I like their roles in the movie, it all just works incredibly well for me. Truth be told the issues I would have for this movie are nitpicks at best, I think we got another great Marvel movie....even though it took almost the whole damn series to get to this point, with a lot of bumps in the road, and I'm still wondering why people fell so hard for this series, but we got here. Doctor Strange and Black Panther are not only the two Marvel movies I've seen in theaters, but also the only two I own on video. They are the ones I would like to watch every so often, even with the praise I gave for The Winter Soldier and Civil War I don't honestly think I would buy them. I'm happy I saw them, but I'm in no rush to watch them again. Hell the only one I might buy after all this so far, is The Incredible Hulk. But tomorrow we talk about Infinity War, the birthday present I didn't ask for and never did see, until now. No seriously, it came out on my birthday so I slightly take pride in the day of my birth also being the day where millions of Marvel fans were crushed and broken emotionally and left the cinemas severely depressed. I'm a heartless bastard I know, but sometimes it feels so good being evil. 4 stars, 8/10!

And I say to you now what I said to you in 2018 when this movie was released, he is the best king I have seen in cinema and I would have followed him to the end and beyond. Long live the King.

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Thor: Ragnarok

Best of the Thor trilogy? Yeah.

It's easy to get swept up in the spectacle that is Thor Ragnarok, it almost gives Guardians Of The Galaxy a run for it's money in terms of color, visuals, and scale. It's been kind of a rough patch for Thor in this one, Natalie Portman gets booted offscreen permanently, Odin passes on into the Force and his ridiculously gorgeous daughter breaks Thor's mighty hammer, and Asgard is on the brink of total destruction. And the Hulk proves why he is the strongest Avenger. The Thor movies have definitely went on an upward spiral, with the first being average at best, the second one being quite good, and the third being really dang good which is nice to see. It has a great mix of being pure entertainment and actually telling a story. Hela is a very good villain, which I mainly attribute to Cate Blanchett because she is amazing in this role, I've never been more terrified and yet attracted to someone in my life. She hits that spot where Ultron should have been, a force to be reckoned with, the humor I felt actually kind of works for her when it occassionally pops up, and the threat she poses makes for an interesting story since she is Thor's sister. It's such a nice experience to see villains I actually care about and genuinely intrigue me and keep me invested. Why did it take so long? Chris Hemsworth while not at his best still delivers a very fun, very good performance and the same goes for Tom Hiddleston as well, and the chemistry still stands strong between them. We finally get Hulk back, fully talking and all, we were on the verge of greatness we were this close to a Hulk movie. Still fully proves why Hulk is the best hands down. And though I harbor zero ill will or contempt for Tessa Thompson, I hate this character. I hate this character with the passionate fury of a million red giants, you know what character I despise in movies? The smarmy, cockshore, arrogant f***stick who thinks they're hot shit when really they need to be crushed under the boot of the villain in 2 seconds flat. Enter Valkyrie. I'm not going further, because I don't want to break anything. The last thing I'm saying on that matter is if I don't see her turn into a pile of ash in two movies time, there will be severe hell to pay. Really beyond her, I very much enjoyed the movie. I liked the whole arena planet ruled by Jeff uh Goldblum, he was a lot of fun. Of course more Hulk is always a good thing, and once again Mark Ruffalo deserves his own movie, make it happen you monopolistic corporation. I simultaneously appreciate just how balls to the wall the visuals and action and tone are, yet also wish there were more character moments and time to let events sink in. Nevertheless I did like what they did with Thor in this movie. The soundtrack is very synthesizer which you think I would unashamedly love, but none of the tracks really hit me too strong. It certainly fits that comic book movie fluff category, but even then it's not bad. It tries to tightrope between fun adventure and serious story and kinda succeeds, but it works in it's own little way. 3 stars, 7/10, I doubt I would buy it but I wouldn't mind watching it on cable when the time comes. We're returning to Wakanda tomorrow, and the end is almost near.

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Guys this was the pickup that I needed.

This was like having a delicious meal after swirling bleach in my mouth. Guardians 2 was a pile of ass. But we have better things to talk about! Spider-Man Homecoming is a mighty fine movie in the series, may possibly be the 2nd or 3rd best Marvel movie I've seen. Tom Holland probably stole a lot of people's hearts in Civil War and seeing him in his own solo movie is every bit wonderful as you think it is, I know a lot of people hold Tobey Maguire near and dear to their hearts and he ain't bad but I would say Tom is my favorite. His energy, line delivery, and personality is incredibly spot on and it's gonna be great seeing him again. I like the story, it's a very sort of back to basics film where the stakes aren't incredibly high and it's more about the hero's arc than the conflict showcased in the film with teenage Peter Parker after being recruited by Tony in Civil War is trying to prove his mettle to be a part of the Avenger's while still doing his everyday teenage things. It's very simple but it works very well. Finally some good f***ing villain material, and who else gets that honor except Michael Keaton? No joke I was considering watching this movie in theaters solely because of Michael Keaton being in it, and he did not disappoint! I find it cool that they brought a more crazy villain like Vulture and gave it a somewhat believable retooling, I think the costume design is great and his motivation mainly being to provide for his family by selling experimental weapons is an interesting one. Granted I could severly argue how anybody knows how to make such advanced tech, but whatever I'm just happy to see him in the movie. I find it kind of odd though how they handled Spider-Man, did he get bitten by a radioactive spider or not? Cause he's super strong, can take hits that would smash people's bones into jelly, can do really impressive acrobatic movements, but he doesn't have the spidey sense or the organic web. Make up your mind movie, you can't have it both ways! You can't have him doing these impossible feats but still have him be a normal kid who makes the webshooters. It doesn't make a lick of sense! Those were really the two biggest problems I had with the movie, was the tech. Yes, Peter's best friend is kind of annoying but he genuinely got me to laugh a few times so I'll give you points for making him feel like an actual teenage friend. Yes, it follows a few too many high school movie tropes and cliches. Yes the love interest was meaningless, but I liked Michelle better or as I affectionately called her in the movie Best Girl, she's just a cool kid who didn't spout any bullshit and was way more interesting. We better get more of her. It's certainly one of the more funny movies but when the action needs to hit they do a good job, still doing a lot of things for real and not always having a CG Spidey jumping around. And was I the only one who was kinda uncomfortable with how they did Aunt May? Now do not get me wrong, I do not think Aunt May always has to be this silver haired elderly lady, and Marisa Tomei really and truly was an emotional highlight of the film but when I first heard and only heard about her it all boiled down to, "This chick is hawt, MILF alert!" and I just figured that's the internet being it's usual pervy self but no! Everybody is hitting on May and I'm just like, Jesus H. Christ people Marisa Tomei is undoubtedly a very beautiful lady but can you calm your raging erections for five lousy minutes? It just bothered me. But honestly, I very much enjoyed the film. There was one point where I kinda screamed, partly due to shock and partly due to me being a fanboy, if you know the twist scene you know what I'm talking about. I had no idea it was going to happen and I flipped. I can't even recall the last movie that had that effect on me, this really did put me in a good mood and I friggin' needed it. Bad. I'm not fully sure if Tom is completely onboard over at Disney, because I felt it was such a shitty massive c*** move from Sony to put this guy through so much when he genuinely wanted to keep doing this role, so I really hope all is well and he can keep doing what he loves to do, that should be a given right to any actor. But this was a fun, very entertaining movie. 3 stars from me, 7.5/10! And tomorrow, I guess I get Cate Blanchette being a total goddess (as always) and more Hulk. Groovy.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2


Guardians Of The Galaxy 2 is kiddie movie garbage. This is coming from a fan of family movies, of animated movies, of cartoons, whatever the hell you want to call it, a person who can enjoy and appreciate a film intended for 5 year olds as much as a film intended for a 50 year old. I quite enjoy those types of movies. Why? I don't know, maybe I'm a Toys R Us kid. But this movie suuuuucks. Oh my God I could barely stand it. When all the things I like about your movie can be counted on one hand, you done goofed son. I liked the visuals, more so the colors than the designs. I liked Kurt Russell because well, he's the man. And I quite liked Drax and Mantis, I even dare say I ship them. Everything else, bullshit. It's present from opening titles onward, yeah cause why would we want to see the Guardians fight a monster, exchange funny dialogue and banter, and overall enjoy the visuals of it when instead you shove a toy commercial down our throats of a little baby Groot dancing. Do not f***ing dare lie to me and tell me that's not what it was. I was there! In the stores! I saw it all!! And it don't get much better from there, so okay the idea of Star Lord finding his dad and learning of his heritage could be an interesting story, unfortunately it does not need over 2 hours of movie to tell it. Apparently Peter Quill's papa is a god, no horseshit Jack kind of god, created a world, lives forever, the whole nine yards, so Star Lord is half god...until he isn't. Great plot development guys, lord knows that would have been useful in a later movie. No seriously, that's the whole movie. We meet up with the Guardians on a job, we get a chase, we meet Kurt Russell, we learn Star Lord's heritage, a mutiny is formed on Yondu which begins and ends in no time flat, Kurt Russell ain't a real daddy though and now Marvel is combining previous villain's plans which shock of all shocks doesn't improve their villain problem. He literally wants to do what the Dark Elves and Ultron did, cover the universe in his own design and make everyone essentially him. Then they fight, apparently killing a god is as easy as booting up a computer because baby Groot actually gets the killing blow, and that whole fight has as much dramatic tension as what color lollipop a toddler wants. Say what you will about the Ewoks but at least they did something! This is the movie you put on for your kids when you want them to shut up for a solid two hour stretch, in fact I'd like to meet the person over the age of 13 who puts this movie on because they think it's genuinely good and entertaining. It has the bright colors, basic forms of comedy, and easy to follow plot that would keep your child preoccupied and happy but I was kinda shocked how much language there is in this, for a movie intended for kids they use a lot of cuss words, they even make a F-word joke. You know, for kids! If I bought a movie ticket for this, I'd want my goddamn refund. Even the credits reek of bad kids movies, you know the ones, where you can't just get up and shut the movie off because they keep showing you superflous shit so you're forced to sit there until it for really realises ends. I think we finally found the one worse than Iron Man 2. Iron Man 2 was boring, pointless, and didn't have much going for it but it's okay, it's comic book movie fluff like Batman Forever or Superman Returns, it's not great but it can be a bit entertaining. This movie insulted my intelligence and made me want to burn every Groot toy in existence. 1.5 stars, 2.5/10, if it gets somehow worse than this I'll be f***ing stunned rigid.

Monday, September 14, 2020

Second Viewing: Doctor Strange

Not my second viewing, but I couldn't think of a better title.

I can't believe how well this works as a standalone movie. Let's set the wayback machine to 4 years ago, I've seen two MCU movies, Iron Man and Iron Man 2, I hear tale of a movie with Benedict Cumberbatch and Mads Mikkelsen two of my favorite actors. The film is called Doctor Strange and the Marvel movies are barely on my radar, but I seek out the movie anyway and review it opening day, my opinions have not changed since then. This is still a high favorite of mine in the MCU, but going back to it after I've digested all this knowledge and inner continuity between films it works incredibly well as a standalone film. Sure Thor pops up at the end but the story and events are pretty disconnected from the other movies so perhaps it was just good fortune that this was the movie I watched above all others. And I felt it would be wrong not to talk about every film in this series even if I have done reviews on it before, and the same will go for Black Panther when we reach that. But Doctor Strange is still a very good movie, it's one of the most interesting, original, and entertaining movies of the series and one of only 2 Marvel movies I own on video. So obviously that out of the blue desire to see it left an impression. And what a perfect catalyst for me as a viewer, almost placed in Stephen Strange's shoes, a normal guy who gets thrust into this impossibly and infinitely large universe as he learns his way about it, now that holds even more meaning now that I've been viewing every one of these movies. Boy did my reaction mirror his when the term Infinity Stone was brought up, that could not have went more over my head if you shot it past the moon. This is a great beginner film for anybody wanting to get into these movies, maybe even more so than the very early films like Iron Man or The Incredible Hulk, I mean hell all you gotta do is turn it off when credits roll and boom, perfect cold opening. I like the villains, the visual style is mesmerizing at times, it doesn't rush things, the characters are easily understandable and have good writing to them, screw it I'm gonna say it. Despite my strong feelings towards certain entries, Doctor Strange upon rewatch is my favorite of the Marvel movies. Is it due to change? Quite possibly! We still have 9 movies left before the end, so it is entirely feasible that this could be toppled. I've written plenty about this movie so for my extended thoughts I have two seperate entries for you to read up on, but the bottom line is this is a very good movie, one of the best in the series (so far), and always a treat to watch again. 4 stars, 8/10! The Guardians Of The Galaxy returns tomorrow so let's see what wild shenanigans it has in store for us.

Sunday, September 13, 2020

Captain America: Civil War

I think the Russo brothers really just love bringing us the darker hard hitting stuff.

Compared to the other Marvel movies Civil War is the most serious and hard edged entry, and the changes from the source material I feel are mostly for the better. So instead of a superhero registration where all the known superheroes have to reveal their identities and work for the U.S. government, Tony and Steve are on opposite sides of the spectrum for an accord where the Avengers stop acting as a unilateral force and essentially become the errand boys of the United Nations after a debacle in Nigeria. Tony is all for it because he wants to keep protecting the world in the confines of the law and supports being accountable for their actions. Which on one hand I fully understand, there's a lot of collateral damage and deaths in their operations and Tony does not want to seem higher above the people he wants to protect cause he acknowledges the death toll and wants to do something about it. But here's the thing, in a perfect world the Avengers could save everybody. They could defeat the villains and not one hair on everybody's head would be damaged. But...that's not how it is, you can save millions if not billions of people but thousands could still die indirectly of their actions. That sucks, that's f***ing terrible, but it is what happens. No amount of government oversight could change that. But Steve isn't better either, he says screw the system because they could control everything about them and even call them off from saving lives which goes against the entire perogative of The Avengers, they would be puppets of the world's governments. It's fascinating to see these guys swap roles, but honestly after the events of The Winter Soldier I can understand why Steve is against this idea. And they clash. They call in almost everybody we've seen so far and even bring in a new face with Peter Parker, which I have to say after hearing all about the total bullshit Tom has put up with in this series it's great to see him in the role at last and I'm happy he's still around. The fights are pretty good, but truthfully the story and dilemma is what got me most invested, it's a bleak and dire situation for the Avengers and everybody is just trying to do the right thing, the same aspect that made me really like The Winter Soldier. Now I know there's people out there who just want to see shit explode and watch superheroes do battle, that's fine, comic books are escapist fiction, not every comic book movie has to be like The Dark Knight, but when a comic book movie puts so much very well constructed emphasis on a more internal dilemma and the character's emotions and their own world views it genuinely does make for a compelling and really good story! The Winter Soldier and Civil War are honestly tied for my favorite Marvel movie because of this factor. Sure the movie has flaws, the villain is so transparent he borders on invisible in terms of story, yeah I kept forgetting who the people were in the story who were not the superheroes, yeah Spider-Man was very quickly slapped into the story, yeah it should have ended at two hours in and not kept going for another 30 minutes but it still turned out to be a really good movie. I feel like the best comic book movies are actually ones that ascend past the genre, Michael Keaton's Batman, Christopher Reeve's first Superman movie, Watchmen, The Dark Knight, Wonder Woman, The Winter Soldier, Civil War, all are damn good comic book movies but they go beyond just being a comic book movie and can be looked at as just a movie. That's not an insult, film is film, but they give that much more to really give the genre more respect and validity, and not just be kid movie bullshit that's just entertainment fluff. Yeah it's still awesome seeing Captain America and Iron Man square off, and Batman fighting the Joker, and there is never anything wrong with that. I'm a comic book lover now and forever, but also a film critic. And in my opinion Civil War gets a solid 3.5 stars, 7.5/10! Good news everybody, the Doctor is in tomorrow.

Saturday, September 12, 2020


Yet another average entry of the series that's apparently the best thing since sliced bread.

I know, I'm breaking your balls Marvel fans, but I honestly thought Ant-Man was kinda good. It had some things in it I wasn't gaga for but the overall premise was interesting. Essentially Honey I Shrunk The Kids with a superhero movie, and if you like those movies then you'll probably like Ant-Man. We follow Paul Rudd after he took some acting classes since Halloween 6, as a criminal who just got out of prison but takes up another hit to support his daughter, but unexpectedly finds a suit that can shrink him down to insect size and is quickly recruited by the creator of the suit played by Michael Douglas. Apparently his company is under the control of a total asshole who plans on mass producing the shrink suit and selling it to our favorite cell of natzi's Hydra, forcing our hero to learn the skills of the suit to help save the world. Huzzah. I must admit I wasn't expecting Scott to be a criminal, I thought the story would go more on him being the son of Hank Pym and inheriting the Ant-Man suit, but screw it I liked it regardless. Paul Rudd has good energy and really works as your everyday person stumbling into this fantastical situation. Michael Douglas is a good mentor, and he genuinely made me laugh a bit. Didn't trust Evangeline Lily's character in this movie though, she seemed way too angry and cunniving to be an ally for however many more of these movies Disney is going to push out. At least the villain was different, mainly a greedy dickhead instead of our usual world destroying B-listers, but still just as weak and flimsy as tracing paper. The effects were pretty good though, again much like the Shrunk series but done on a more large scale (no pun intended of course) so I was fairly impressed with how they did it all. It was certainly the lightest movie entry so far, a lot of emphasis on comedy and not a lot of drama, just a fun adventure with a unique hero. For some weird reason I thought Hank Pym was a DC name, obviously thinking of The Atom but that was Ray Palmer so I had to keep smacking myself upside the head and reminding myself of the characters, but can you really blame me? To my knowledge they are the only two heroes in comics who use technology to shrink themselves to the subatomic level, which was actually pretty trippy and awesome in this movie. Still not as trippy as that Doctor Strange scene though! And guys I'm sorry but Michael Pena did nada for me, he got old on me fast and it somehow even furthered my opinion on people wanting him to essentially make a video recapping the whole MCU to which I replied with, how And now I can safely say I have never disagreed more with a hypothetical scenario in my entire life. Don't hate his stand up though, but he, yeah, no. 2.5 stars, 6/10, Civil War coming up next and I think the fatigue is slowly starting to set in. How do you people marathon this stuff?

Friday, September 11, 2020

Avengers: Age Of Ultron

I'm not sure if people hated this one or not but I thought it was alright.

Age Of Ultron all in all is a good entry in the Marvel series, it has things I really love and things I wish just weren't there, but I certainly didn't hate it. It keeps the ball rolling with the Avengers still on the hunt for Loki's scepter and they finally acquire it, unfortunately it holds no bearings in the plot after that, it's pretty much just an excuse for the opening action scene. Afterwards Tony reveals to Bruce of his dream, to create a being able to stop interstellar attacks on Earth and uniwittingly becomes Dr. Frankenstein and creates, you guessed it, a machine that wants to wipe out humanity. Do humans just piss robots off that much? Leading the Avengers to assemble once more to battle the threat of Ultron. Now let's get into details, I like seeing the Avengers on a bit of downtime to see them just kinda hang out and reinforce they are a true team. This is the movie that births the best ship in the MCU (I will fight you on this and win) with Black Widow and Hulk, and my God is it wonderful. Thanks movie, I love it! We get to see more Hawkeye which is nice cause I barely remembered him last time and it does feel ever so slightly manipulative that they gave him this nice farm with a loving family, it's like the writers knew he was the weakest Avenger and we have to make the audience care somehow so uh, give him a wife and kids, yeah that will get them emotionally invested. I genuinely felt Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch were incredibly not needed in this story, they don't have much significance. They show up, team up with Ultron, turn babyface, fight Ultron, one of them bites the bullet or bullets I should say, and while they destroyed Ultron's body I still felt little connection or even cared about them throughout the film. And then we also get Vision thrown in the mix as if this movie wasn't busy enough, he's just sort of eh. Nice cape though. Okay you remember when I said all I wanted from the villain was memorable motivation and character? This was not what I meant. Ultron is...problematic in many ways. Now the idea of an incredibly advanced AI that when created has the personality of a human but the high processing mind of a machine leading it to have a twisted majorly screwed up view of the world is fascinating, and even kinda believable, I don't hate the design except for the mouth movements (he's a robot, his mouth should not move like he has lips), but his plans are just the same old tricks. And what kills me about Ultron is his actual character, his personality, when I think of an artificial intelligence that feels completely justified in the extermination of all organic life and hates his creator Tony Stark, I think of a voice and personality akin to the likes of say Grand Admiral Thrawn or HAL 9000. Cold, incredibly calculating, scary intelligent, and an unbendable philosophy and will. What we get is a mugging chucklehead who crows Disney songs, I cannot take him seriously as a threat because he keeps f***ing goofing around, which bugs the shit out of me because why would he act that way?? He's an advanced intelligence in a vibranium robot shell, he should be kind of terrifying and a real force to go up against where it really would take every single Avenger and then some to deal with this one enemy. And he's a joke. I could not believe what I was watching with this guy. How do you f*** that up man? David Spader has a great voice and could really have pulled off something menacing, think like the T-800's power but with HAL 9000's intelligence. That would have been unbelievable! But no. Just...whatever. The action isn't bad but the final fight goes on forever to the point where Ultron's army seems like unlimited waves of enemies in a video game, the character interactions are good, the story is a bit jumbled and busy but still works, but I'm just wondering now how Civil War comes about. Cause Tony and Steve seemed to have mellowed out since their first outing, like on really good terms as friends so how does this go to hell in a handbasket? Are they going to do the whole superhero identity registration plotline? I have no idea. Bottom line Age Of Ultron isn't bad, I didn't hate it that much but didn't love it either. 2.5 stars, 6.5/10, and apparently we take a detour with Ant-Man before Civil War so see you then tomorrow.

Thursday, September 10, 2020

Guardians Of The Galaxy

Yeah this was pretty good too.

I honestly can't imagine this movie ever being made outside of that time and place in the world. It's a friggin' weird movie and the characters are some of the most obscure ones but I have to give credit to the director and writers. They took the most unknown Marvel characters save for possibly Squirrel Girl, and practically made them household names, if you weren't a die hard Marvel Comics fan you would have noooo idea who these people were. So how did they do it? Well the story is admittedly very simple, with clear cut characters, a basic villain, and a lavish colorful variety of worlds. We follow Star Lord, essentially a space pirate that gets roped into a deal that makes him come into contact with a variety of different people, there's Gamora the daughter of Thanos, Drax a man seeking revenge for the death of his family, Rocket Raccoon an augmented animal with a penchant for weapons, and Groot a walking talking tree. Comic books are weird. Granted the designs are really good, save for Gamora though of course no disrespect to Zoe Saldana but blood red hair and bright green skin just don't work for me at all. The character's personalities are strong though, you don't technically know much about them, with my personal favorite being Drax cause he's just a great guy and never failed to entertain me and I fully supported his character. I will say the tone is consistent, but the style and art direction should I say this? Garish. I don't know, I think I'm so used to seeing practical, no frills, basic designed spaceships that when these ostentatious, very colorful, incredibly artistic designed spaceships appear I just start asking why they are like that. Don't get me wrong the environments and tech we see is interesting, certainly visually appealing, but it reminds me a lot of the more cheesy lowbudget sci-fi films of the 60s and 70s with aliens having skin tones the color of every shade of the rainbow, bizzare tech, kinda hammy performances, it like blends tongue in cheek sci-fi with modern effects and not half bad writing. It's an interesting one to watch. Villain's super basic yet again, guys I'm really not asking for much with the villains. Just make their motivation and character memorable, I mean he has a neat design but there's nothing to it. At least the soundtrack is (mostly) good, but if you're going to give us a throwback with cassettes actually release the soundtrack on a mother loving cassette! If vinyl can do it, cassettes can do it. I'm tired of sounding like an old man, commit to the tech of the 80s if the culture has such a hard on for the 80s. You don't make the soundtrack look like a cassette but not be a cassette, and you do not release movies that look like videotapes from a 1980s video store if you are not going to put it on tape! Who are you trying to impress?? Just dew it! Urgh, rant over. I'm sorry, I just had to get that off my chest one day and it was today. It's a good movie, I think I would give it 3 stars, 7/10, I'm interested what will happen next but at the same time I'm not in a rush to get back to them.

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

You know what? I think this might be my favorite.

No I'm really being serious, I was very impressed with The Winter Soldier, able to take a deeper and more spy thriller adventure with Steve Rogers was a treat. There were tons of great moments, even ones that might have crushed my heart to dust, the action was interesting and well choreographed, the story took espionage and thriller and injected it into a superhero movie damn near flawlessly, Captain America gets great character progression and we see Steve being pushed harder than we've seen before, Scarlett is a huge plus with her great sense of humor and good character, the new additions we get are interesting and actually got me thinking what would happen next. This was a well made movie. Okay, so Steve has been working with SHIELD but his own personal morals are conflicting with the interests of the organization leading him to question if he's doing the right thing and how he is going to come to terms with that. Already they made Captain America a much more interesting character, giving a deeper look into his personality and mentality as he tries to grip with this new world. But pretty soon crazy stuff starts happening, secrets are being kept from Steve, Nick almost gets whacked mob hit style, Captain America becomes a fugitive of SHIELD, and a mysterious figure is called in to put Cap out of the game. I really dig the spy stuff, combining elements of the Bourne movies, Jack Ryan, there's even some Bond stuff in there but it actually mixes well and doesn't feel slapped on or creates tonal whiplash. I like the introduction of Falcon, he's a pretty cool dude and I'm interested to see more of him. Black Widow as I've said is amazing and elevates any scene she is in. The revelations whether obvious or not, change the game significantly and at the end I really and truly wanted to know what would happen after this movie, where with others it was just another movie where it ended and I was content. I don't know what it is, maybe it was the darker more serious tone, maybe it was the character stuff, maybe it was the well mixing of film genres, but something really clicked with me in this movie. The scene with Peggy was actually very hard to watch and is bringing me on the verge of tears even as I type this, it's just such a vulnerable strong moment that can really hit close to home for some folks, but the rest of the more quiet and intimate moments with the characters was greatly appreciated and in some cases said more than lengthy dialogue ever could. It felt like a comic book movie but still gave a lot more than what the average superhero film dishes out, which is why I liked it so much. Though I will never forgive it for the hail Hydra scene, yeah I was there when that bullshit flooded my Facebook page, thanks for that movie I still hate it! Regardless, 3.5 stars, 7.5/10! Will it be topped as #1 in the future? Only time will tell, but tomorrow we will be joining the Guardians Of The Galaxy so stay tuned.

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Thor: The Dark World

First instance of the term Infinity Stone? I believe so.

Yeah I actually didn't mind the second Thor movie, in fact I liked it better than the first. So 2 years have passed since we last saw Jane and Thor cross paths, but unfortunately under dire circumstances. An ancient race known as Dark Elves have reawakened seeking to shroud the universe itself in eternal darkness, with Earth being the focus point to unleash a powerful weapon. I think what places this above others in the hierarchy is the fact that the stakes are upped, several events take place that pushes Thor and even Loki to their limits in an impossible situation. Asgard is invaded, people die, the universe is at stake, and the bond between brothers is pushed to a breaking point. I love, love, love the dynamic between Thor and Loki mainly because it's a story of redemption, Thor truly loves his brother and wants nothing more than to trust him while Loki still surrounds himself in chaos and deceit, and the conversations and scenes they have are some of the best in all these movies. I'll even dare say Tom Hiddleston has been the best part of the Marvel movies so far, period. Just look at the scene when he's in his cell after the attack, not a word is spoken, not a tear is shed but my God do you feel that. We get to see more of Asgard and the other realms, which is always super nice to delve deeper into what these places are like. Fffffricking Christopher Eccleston is the villain, and what a heel turn to see the man who tried everything in his power to save the universe in one role to trying everything to destroy the universe in another, and he brings that same energy, that you do not want to get on this guys bad side persona, and while it breaks my heart we couldn't have him in the Doctor Who 50th anniversary because he was filming this, I could never hold ill will towards this man. It's kind of fun to see Natalie Portman and friends again, along with our kick ass rag tag team of Asgardians (Sif you are my moon and stars in these Thor movies.). We need more Idris Elba though, that guy is amazing and I love his sentinel persona and honorable character. The movie threw me for a loop or two I can tell you that, which helped push my engaged watching to a 10, some were kind of telegraphed but others I just was not expecting at all. I liked the villain for a change, and not just because of Christopher Eccleston's performance, but the designs of these elves and their weird Court Of Owls masks, it kind of gave me Tolkien vibes with these creatures being the first force in the universe before there was even light, actually yeah it is a sort of perverse, mirror universe equivalent of Tolkien's Silmarillion, in a way. So far this is top 5 for me, 3 stars, 7/10, good movie! And the sequels keep on coming as we join Cap tomorrow in The Winter Soldier.

Monday, September 7, 2020

Iron Man 3

Oh thank the space gods this didn't suck.

I was severely dreading Iron Man 3 after the last debacle and from the word of mouth I heard over the years did not help, and while this is an okay comic book movie what elevated it for me is actually what they did with Tony Stark. It's been awhile since New York and Tony is a bit worse for wear, he has anxiety attacks, he has full blown PTSD, he's having the triple crisis, an identity crisis, a mid-life crisis, and an existential crisis all in one film. At several instances this reminded me of The Dark Knight Rises but also Knightfall, with this new villain The Mandarin creating propaganda, completely destroying Tony's home, Tony hides out for awhile and has to recouperate from his severe beating, he's struggling with the Iron Man persona not too deeply as say Bruce is about the cape and cowl, but this really was like that kind of story for Tony. I'll say this up front right now, if this was the last time we ever saw Iron Man I would be happy, cause it seems like he walks away from it all, he fixes his heart, ditches the arc reactor, all of the suits are destroyed, and he seems content to help the world without being a superhero. This is great stuff. Tony hasn't been the most deep character and has been pretty easy to read, but this movie gives him more stuff to work with and shows a pretty vulnerable side to this guy. It almost makes up for Iron Man 2. Almost. I know a lot of people threw a shit fit over The Mandarin but seeing as how I've never read a Marvel comic book in my life, he's just sort of there and Ben Kingsley is odd in this movie but an entertaining odd. Once again the villain is sort of blah, it's not even an interesting scheme, good lord Marvel villains suck. Say what you will about the DC movies but the performances and villains we get are memorable in some shape or form even if they aren't particularly good (looking at you Steppenwolf), but they are more often than not. I mean I know we're still early days with these movies but I can't name a villain off the top of my head except Red Skull and Loki, but I remember them more for the star power and not the script. I think we've made it to the other end of the spectrum with the effects though, before it was a lot of practical effects with CG used sparingly, now it's a lot of CG with practical effects used sparingly. To be honest the Iron Man suits have been on a downward spiral for me in terms of the mechanics, I'm not a big fan of the designs, they screwed War Hammer over to the point where I just shake my head and ask why, but the big part is how the suit comes on. I thought it was kinda cool with the first suits we saw, they were bulky but still high tech, then it turned into a briefcase, and then it turned into random pieces that fly into position. It's so dumb. I'm sure some people like it but the practicality and designs have become so ridiculous I can't stand it. "But it's comic book stuff Dude!" you might be saying, but comic books can be plenty fraking stupid and this is an ideal example. Thanks! I hate it. Oh and let's talk about the army of suits, I heard people bitch and moan that ooh the Knights Of Ren were just made to sell toys, motherf***er have you seen the action figure collector sets of ALL the Iron Man variant suits? That....that is made for toys! Urgh, moving on. At least the child actor isn't abysmal. But beyond the pretty good character progression with Tony, this is yet another average Marvel movie. I'm starting to wonder how it's gotten this far to be honest, the movies are either superflous and bad or good but mostly average, you think with this many people squeezing every drop out of Marvel's yarbles there would be some pretty great movies and characters but it's just okay so far. I'm not taking the piss out of this series to aggravate people or say, well DC is better you f***ing idiots, I mean you've seen me give compliments! You've seen me say good things about these movies, I'm being unbiased here and not much has leaped out at me as really good if not great save for a few actors and moments. I get Marvel movies are not for everyone, but to a comic book fan the scale has not been tipped in Marvel's favor for me but again we're nowhere near the end and there's plenty more to see. 3 stars, 6.5/10, Thor is coming back tomorrow so let's hope his sequel fairs better.

Sunday, September 6, 2020

The Avengers

Are you happy? I finally saw it.

It only took me almost a decade but I finally watched The Avengers. How was it? It's okay. I mean I know the wet dreams of Marvel fans the world over is probably what got this film to be the highest grossing film ever at one point in time, and while I can safely say this movie does not suck I didn't exactly love it either. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy this wasn't an hour and a half action scene done after an hour of buildup, in fact the pacing of the movie was commendable. Spending significant amounts of time catching us up on what the Avengers have been up to since their last movies, and getting everybody together for the first time. You started off good movie, you gave me Scarlett straight off the bat you get a point just for that! And I gotta say Mark Ruffalo really won me over very quickly, he brings more of that Bill Bixby humbleness and charm which pisses me off to no end that he hasn't got a proper solo movie cause I know he can pull it off! Christ, him and Loki were the best parts of the film hands down, Tom Hiddleston is just savaging this role and relishes every second of it, his acting is absurdly good in this movie. And I liked the dynamic of the team members, some don't get along while others do, they bicker sure but when shit hits the fan they are ready to help each other, the comraderie while brief was quite nice. The action scenes were spaced out and while I've become desensitized to crazy action setpieces I can just imagine the excitement and anticipation people had when seeing this for the first time. This has never been done before on any scale, and it would have been easy to make this a clusterf*** mess but they did good. I harbor no ill will towards The Avengers nor Justice League, I thought both movies juggled the characters and story well, so I can't really pick favorites on that case, I'd call them equals. I will say the plot sort of lost me a few times, mainly just because I forgot Hawkeye was even in this movie let alone brainwashed, and I didn't fully know why Loki decided to bring an alien race to decimate Earth. He had plenty of opportunities to grab the tesseract and GTFO but he just didn't, and I'm wondering what the plan was and how it pertains to a totally not California Raisin looking Thanos. I think the movie wisely focused more on the characters and their interactions than the sheer spectacle of battles, yeah it gets very cliched when the Avengers keep fighting one another and I know about the Civil War comic story so I know it's not impossible for these people to clash, but most of the time in the movie it felt forced and there just to sort of fill an action quota. And what the ass was with the alien/robot/monster things shutting down Phantom Menace style at the end? I thought they were just armored aliens but they work like robots? That...that was stupid, and weird, and didn't make a lick of sense but that's small beans to me with Tony and the nuke. He flat out pulls a Superman in The Dark Knight Returns and diverts a nuclear warhead to not destroy a city, but doesn't get caught in the blast radius this time, but what really gets on my nerves is he didn't need to fully insert it into the hole (Steady now...), just point it up and let go! And don't even try to tell me they were going for suspense if Tony was going to bite the bullet or not, nobody bought that for a millionth of a second. I know story doesn't have to be airtight in a popcorn flick like this, but some things just were odd to me and when the bullshit man says that's bullshit, well you know. It's a decent movie, I got some enjoyment out of it, I would place it with Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk as some of my favorites so far, so I'm just wondering what this Phase 2 or whatever it's called is going to hold for me. 3 stars, 7/10, I can understand why people like it but I am so not feeling the Marvel fanboy syndrome here.

Saturday, September 5, 2020

Captain America: The First Avenger

Alright, we're sorta back on track.

Captain America is a decent film, but honestly I haven't been enjoying much of these movies since Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk but I sense with Captain America we're getting back there a bit. This could very much just be a tribute to war movies from the 40s to the 60s, let alone a comic book film. The production design and style the movie gives us throughout kinda encapsulates war movies, film serials, and your modern superhero action flick. It's not half bad, and I can usually dig war movies so this film had a bit more going for it. It's really hit me though how much I know about these movies even though until this point I've saw only 4 of them, through pure cultural osmosis because people can't shut up about these movies, I was like oh we'll see Red Skull again, oh that's the tesseract, oh Bucky will have a robot arm, yep Steve's gonna crash in ice and wake up in modern day, it's like I've seen these movies without seeing them at all. How weird is that? I mean I knew very basic story beats of pipsqueak Steve Rogers wants to join the army, but he an 89 pound weakling so they test a super soldier serum on him and he quickly becomes a war hero going by the name of Captain America. That's pretty much the movie in a nutshell, not much happens beyond that but it really ain't a bad flick, I was with it from start to finish and actually did like Chris Evans in this so thank God he at least got better after Fantastic Four, and I even appreciated seeing the golden age Captain America suit in the movie. But seriously what in the hell was up with Steve before he got the serum, it's the closest I have ever seen of a human bobble-head, I understand why and how they did it but yeesh it looks bad at times. The action is decent, the supporting characters was quite star studded and worked well, in particular Tommy Lee Jones. Hugo Weaving as a villain hardly ever goes wrong and the Red Skull prosthetics are delightfully cheesy and yet a bit cool. Let's be honest people, cheesy and silly is imbedded in every facet of comic books whether we admit it or not regardless of the medium. I think it's an okay movie, it didn't strike me as something really good but I don't think we can sink much lower than Iron Man 2. I mean have you seen these utter clowns in Hydra? Sweet Jesus. You would have to pay me billions to do that f***ing ridiculous salute. I know I didn't have all that much to say about this particular entry, but to be honest it didn't give me too much to work with. I give it 2.5 stars, 6.5/10, and apparently the big guns are coming with The Avengers so no doubt I'll have a bit to talk about there. Until then.

Friday, September 4, 2020


Strike two!

Okay, it was slightly better but not by all that much. Thor is a passable movie, it sets up the lore and characters we'll see time and again no doubt in future films, but there were things that irked me. Positives first, Chris Hemsworth can act when necessary I mean he has that bravado and strong prescence but when Loki lies about his father's death Chris actually does really good work. I love the aesthetic and design of Asgard, though it reminded me a bit of Gallifrey. I think Sif was the most interesting and cool character but she didn't have much to do. And I have to say Tom Hiddleston delivers a strong first outing and I'm genuinely curious to see how he evolves through the series. But that's about it. Now the story is sort of middle ground not much good and not much bad, with Thor disregarding his father Odin's wishes and starts up a real shit storm with the Game Of Thrones looking Frost Giants, that gets him banished from Asgard and stripped of his powers. What then follows is a lot of meandering on Earth as apparently Thor's strongheaded, vain, and totally egotistical persona gets mellowed out in 2 days by hanging out and making eggs with Natalie Portman, with little interesting character motivations or history from any main players during this time on Earth while Loki crafts and decieves his way to the throne of Asgard which is a way more interesting and entertaining story. I'm sorry, but I am so not a fan of fish out of water stories, and the movie doesn't even clock in 2 hours with credits but it feels a touch padded. The action is serviceable, the humor didn't do much for me, and the characters were more miss than hit. Now do I like the mythology of the nine realms and how everything is connected? Yes, but this movie didn't come up with it you know. I'm a bit rusty on my Norse mythology but I appreciated the terms and references in dialogue that I caught. This director though, ugh this director is ass. If I had a damn dollar every single time this movie had a dutch angle in it, I would have enough money to live on for the rest of the year! I felt like I was right back in Battlefield Earth, not a good f***ing move, but please continue to take notes from it. In fact I feel I should quote a much better film critic because it feels so appropriate, "The director has learned from better films that directors sometimes tilt their cameras, but he has not learned why.". It was so goddamn aggravating! Put the f***ing camera on a flat level plane, it does not give your movie substance, it does not give your movie style, you look like an utter twat! 2 stars, 5.5/10, if I think Reb Brown is a better Captain America than Chris Evans I am done with these movies.

Thursday, September 3, 2020

Iron Man 2

Well we started off strong at least.

Yeah Iron Man 2 is a definite dud for me. When the most enjoyment I got out of the film was just rocking out to AC/DC at the end credits, that's not a good sign. I'm sorry but Iron Man 2 had nothing going for me, it tries something that we have seen before but brings nothing new to it. Okay so we fast forward 6 months after Iron Man, Tony has been revelling in the glory of his superhero identity but is actually dying from the arc reactor he invented which at first makes another compelling story point, he's slowly being poisoned by the thing that saved his life. Tragic irony, or poetic justice? Now I understand you needed some drama because the villains are so underwhelming and meaningless, but they just sort of pull a solution out of their ass in a very bewildering way and he's all better. But anyway, Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke team up to take out Tony Stark and create their own cheap knockoff mech suits, and my sweet sainted grandmother are they weak. Sam Rockwell, God bless that man, is a f***ing annoying twat in this movie, let me tell you about dis guy he never shuts the f*** up and contributes zero to the plot, and I've seen Sam Rockwell take smaller parts and bring something great to them as we've seen in Jojo Rabbit so I do not blame him for even a microsecond for this character. Mickey Rourke plays a russian physicist who for some reason goes after Tony and tries to destroy his legacy(?) for reasons unknown, seriously his dad kicks the bucket and then he starts making this lightwhip electro thingy, and gets his ass kicked twice in under 3 minutes. What the hell was the plan for this movie screenwriters? Nothing happens in this movie! Tony and Pepper's relationship kinda grows, Rhodey gets recast because well stuff happens and to be honest I like this guy better than the one before and he gets a pretty nifty mech suit, we introduce Black Widow so at the very least we get some Scarlett Johansson who you can tell did a good chunk of her combat and I'm always game to see more of her. And....that's about it. I will at least thank the filmmakers for giving us real suits, and guess what? They actually look pretty great! So no more need to unnecessarily CG them cause you can do it right there in camera, and again the action scenes are brief and still use plenty of practical stunts so good job there. But the story is meaningless, and the character progression is so shallow it's meaningless. They even pull the fight my best friend in a serious dramatic fight, because they had nothing going for this, War Machine and Iron Man duke it out for really no reason other than, "Tony's being an asshole and I gotta get him under control.". It's astounding how little there is in this movie, it's not even a fun popcorn movie cause you don't get a lot of action, and I'm not complaining about that trust me but what was the goal here? Could you imagine if they just gave us a Black Widow movie in place of this one, just a solo Natasha Romanoff movie that firmly sets where she works in SHIELD, what she does, and how she got there? I wouldn't be complaining much! This is a definite skip for sure, 2 stars, 4.5/10. I swear on all that is good and wholesome in this world, Thor better pick it up cause if this is the start of a downward spiral, it is not gonna be pretty.

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

The Incredible Hulk

I liked it better than Iron Man.

Strangely, I've never watched The Incredible Hulk and if you should know anything about me and Marvel is that The Hulk is my guy, has been my favorite and will continue to be my favorite. So why have I just now watched it? I honestly don't know cause I thought it was pretty good. Yes it has problems, problems that make me very angry, but on the whole it gave me what I expected and wanted and did so in a entertaining way. So Bruce Banner has been overdosed with gamma radiation and after a little incident has lived off the radar in Brazil looking for some type of cure for his condition, but pretty soon the U.S. military is on his tracks as Bruce has to evade capture, control the beast within, and f*** stuff up. And what's weird is this is the black sheep of the MCU, it's not on any streaming service, Disney does not own it, and I think on every collection of these movies it is MIA (Could be wrong stay tuned to find out if I'm wrong.). Why? I don't know. So it kinda bugs the hell out of me that the one solo movie for The Hulk in this entire series isn't readily available with every other entry, it's kinda screwed up I mean at least Spider-Man got joint custody. But how's the movie? Quite good I'd say, it introduces interesting elements and yet subsequently shoots itself in the foot. I'll try to explain. Edward Norton is a good lead, I very much like his performance and I'll see how Mark Ruffalo does in the future. Liv Tyler is a bit basic in terms of character but the chemistry she has with Norton is nothing short of sweet and cute. The supporting cast is where it starts to fall apart, Tim Roth is a blah villain, William Hurt is that perfect prick character but his line deliveries are hard to make out so thank God I watch everything with subtitles, and the bit players are just okay. The action is honestly quite good, yet again using practical effects as much as possible so thank you for that movie but it did move a teeny tiny bit fast near the end to where I had to focus. And...okay here's the thing about Hulk's design, I hate it. This is gonna sound really friggin' stupid and weird, but he just looks too muscular. When it gets to the point where I can see every vein and muscle bundle, you went too far, the poor guy looks like he got injected with a gallon of steroids but thankfully I know the design gets a facelift and actually looks pretty good in the future. I adore the fan moments cause you know, the movie did not have to give us The Lonely Man Theme, it did not have to give us a Lou Ferigno cameo, it didn't have to give us the purple pants joke, but it did and for a Hulk fan I really enjoyed it! Now here comes the two biggest and strongest positives and negatives about the movie, it is a love/hate relationship zone we are entering. I love the idea of Bruce meditating, controlling his breathing and his body, getting more in tune with himself to control this force inside him. That is interesting, that is brilliant, it's such a fascinating and yet logical solution to control his emotions and to discipline his mind. That's rad! But here comes the big time stupid, Bruce can Hulk out due to an increased heart rate, not anger. I'm sorry, what?? The one golden, unfallable, engraved in stone rule about The Incredible Hulk is thrown out the window. This is made of stupid. An elevated heart rate should not trigger a physiological change in a person's biochemistry, because anything can set it off! If Bruce hits 200BPM he Hulks out, but man you can get your heart rate up just by going for a jog, that is not the same thing as anger. Anger, or aggravation, or rage, whatever you want to call it, is a biochemical reaction in your brain that does a multitude of things to your body, it does not just make your heart beat faster because it's more complex than that. The guy can't even get his rocks off with Liv Tyler because his heart rate gets so high, for obvious reasons, so he can't even pop a boner without growing 4 feet taller with the ability to throw a car like it's a paperweight. I mean what in the actual hell were you thinking? I just...I can't, I'm gonna give myself an aneurysm, I'm moving on. Stupid is as stupid does. It will be interesting to see the Hulk's progression and dynamic change with this Avenger's team so I'm always going to be happy to see him even if I don't like the movie. Find this one if you can, 3 stars, 7.5/10! And we got ourselves the first sequel coming in tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Iron Man

So it begins.

Yeah. I'm doing it. If only so I can get it out of my system. Believe it or not I actually have seen Iron Man quite a few times and even owned it on DVD back in 2008, long before I had any thought of such an expansive multi-connected series of movies. And for a beginning entry, I do say Iron Man ain't half bad. You know back in the day, I remember talking about this trailer in my music class of all things and nobody really had any idea what it was about, just that it was a Marvel character and it looked kinda cool. Oh how the times have changed, in just a bit over 10 years your average movie going person has come from who the hell is Iron Man to whoa, Iron Man is the shit! Can you believe that? The only Marvel characters I knew of, like ever, when I was a kid was The Hulk and Spider-Man and that was mainly due to the movies of Ang Lee and Sam Raimi with a dash of the 70s Hulk series with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferigno. And I thought the movie was okay back then and honestly my opinion hasn't changed much, it's not bad and genuinely has some good elements to it so here comes the dilemma with this series. Do I review the movies as standalone pictures or as part of a bigger universe? And the answer is as a lone movie. I like the story, Tony Stark is the head of a multi-billion dollar corporation specializing in weapons manufacturing and while in Afghanistan is ambushed by terrorists and held hostage for three months after having several pieces of shrapnel enter his heart. He's thankfully saved and quickly forms a plan of escaping his captors by creating a mechanized suit and pretty soon takes up the responsibility of regaining his company, stopping more weapons falling in the wrong hands, and kicks some ass while doing so. Get used to me bringing stuff like this up, but I got hardcore Batman vibes from this movie. Now is it possible Batman Begins had an effect on the story for this movie? Possibly! But Tony's dedication to a crusade of righting his company's wrongs and making sure no one is hurt by weapons of his own making just screamed Bruce Wayne at me, even though his teenage boy wiseass attitude makes him a unique and kinda fun character. Hell, Ms. Potts and Jarvis combined are Alfred, and Rhodey is simultaneously Jim Gordon and Robin so it really did strike me as familiar and accesible ground. I am slightly apprehensive about the special effects though in future films because...I hate the Iron Man suit being all CG. In fact, I absolutely looooove the original Iron Man suit, this total metal, clanky ass, crudely made shitbox looks way better than the red and gold suit. The fact they straight up made that full suit is amazing, it is friggin' real! It busts down doors, shoots fire, can take bullet storms, practical effects are an absolute highlight for me in this movie. But then here comes the fake CG bullshit, like not once do we see the red and gold suit as an actual costume which sucks majorly because I kinda like the design, there's a reason the color scheme is what it is, it's refined but still robotic and kinda bulky, it just has a good design. And I'm just scared the future movies are going to be roided up Prequel territory where, it's so dense every single image has so much going on, with the CG to the point where it's gonna just not hold my interest and look bad. Granted the characters are defined enough to where you have some sort of anchor in the real world and can identify with them, and I have to say the cast does admirable work. Though guys seriously? Jeff Bridges is your villain? Have you met that guy? I'm not saying he can't do it but he is way too much of a laidback cool cat to be villainous. Beyond that though, good cast. I like the arc Tony gets in this movie, being a very flippant and saracastic guy but goes through some events that reshape who he is, it's compelling and well executed stuff. But Jesus, Mary, and Joseph is this kinda dated. I mean they drop MySpace into the script. Can you guess what year this was filmed kiddos? And the whole war in Iraq thing while topical at the time, hasn't aged well for the movie. It is very much a product of 2008. Which was a big year for comic book movies, I mean The Dark Knight hit like a thermonuclear bomb and blew everybody away, and Iron Man was planting the acorn and watching the tree grow for a long running series of films. I have big issues with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, believe me I could rant about it for awhile but we're in early days right now so I can enjoy them as just neat little comic book movies. I just sorely miss those times when movies were just movies and they didn't have to be expansive events lasting dozens of movies building an all encompassing world. But regardless I think Iron Man is an okay movie, it's nothing fantastic and I have certainly seen worse in my day. 3 stars, a solid 7/10, and tomorrow we see the not so jolly green giant in his second theatrical film.