Sunday, July 30, 2017

So Here's The Deal....

Okay, I've been thinking it through yesterday and I'm still not sure when to take my break to plan ahead for the rest of the year. Cause there is at least 3 movies I want to see in August, but there's also movies I want to see in September. So I think I'm just gonna have to not take a whole month off, but maybe 2 weeks instead. I'm going to review The Dark Tower on August 4th, and then I'll be back on August 18th to review Logan Lucky. Then there isn't anything new until late Septmeber with Kingsman The Golden Circle, so I would probably review the first Kingsman movie on the 20th of September. You see the dilemma here? Unless I split my month in half (which I really don't want to do) I'm not going to have any time to plan for the rest of the year. So do I just take two weeks off to get some work done then push through the rest of the year, or take two weeks off come back get some reviews out then leave again until October? Oh my God, I forgot about October! This year's October is not going to be all horror movie reviews. Cause Bladerunner 2049 hits October 6th, and I would like to review it and the original Bladerunner. Damn, 2017 is a year of firsts isn't it? More than 3 new movies to see, October is not all about the horror movies, and I don't get to take September off to plan ahead. I got to figure out this break stuff, I don't want to take two breaks but I need that time. School is starting back up, I think I need to do it. Damn.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Atomic Blonde

I friggin' called the use of 99 LuftBalloons. I mean come on, it's Germany in 1989. We're going to hear some Nena.

Atomic Blonde, a brash, vibrant, and pretty kickass spy film has just hit today and it sure does need to be seen. So the story takes place about a month before the Berlin Wall is torn down with a british agent sent in to East Berlin to retrieve a list of all the agents in the world before it gets in the hands of the KGB. And then a lot happens that you come to expect in spy movies, action scenes, double crosses, and of course the more....ahem, steamy scenes. But Atomic Blonde does takes these normal conventions and puts a new spin on it, and not just due to that we have a female spy this time. The action scenes are visceral, they're brutal, I mean Charlize Theron gets the piss kicked out of her and she still hits back hard. The spy and espionage element is there but not heavily centered on. This movies does fully deserve the R rating so obviously it's not for everyone. The violence is in your face and doesn't shy away from kills, the sex is in my opinion kind of unnecesary. I mean your following the story and then Sofia Boutella and Charlize Theron participate in lesbiaonics, and while I love Sofia Boutella I just felt the sex and nudity wasn't there for a reason other than for someone to get their rocks off. And really that's the only bad thing I can say about the movie. The cinematography is friggin' blasting with color when in the right scene, and looks fantastic. All the acting is good with James McAvoy being an ass like he always is, but my God he is terrific at it. Charlize Theron has got a bad attitude in this movie, like she is just not a nice lady. Is she great in those action scenes? Uhhhh.....yeah!! But her character is very unlikable, for about 90% of the movie, not until the end am I fully behind her and want to see her get stuff done. Sofia Boutella who is my new golden girl, is just a treat to see in the movie so I'm all for it. And one thing I don't ever think I mentioned is I love period pieces, not like Victorian era dramas or anything like that but more specifically, seeing a part of the world in that time. Another spy movie example I can throw out there is You Only Live Twice, just seeing Japan in that time period, in the late 60s was really awesome. So seeing Berlin split between East and West in that time period was very interesting. I certainly don't have to tell you I LOVE this soundtrack! I'm a lover of this decade of music above all others, a close second being 60s rock, and even beyond the excellent choice in musical tracks the original music created and used in this movie is really good! Like buy the soundtrack good! It fits right in with the feel and style of the movie. I walked in expecting a decent, if not great spy movie and I got a great spy movie! So if it sounds like your kinda movie, definitely go watch it.

Well that's it for this week. But what now? What comes next? Well.....tomorrow I'll tell you.

Thursday, July 27, 2017


How it all began. The mother to the summer blockbuster.

What a genius idea. Make a B-movie monster movie about a shark that is attacking a small island community, and have three main characters to hunt the beast down, all with a big time Hollywood budget. Damn Steve, you really know your stuff about movie making. I don't think I need to say much about Jaws because it's such a well known movie, with good acting, great effects, and less an emphasis on special effects and chomping down on people but more about characters and family. That good old fashioned Spielbergian glow. Okay, so this movie hit in the summer of 1976, before Star Wars took over the world leading to a multi-million dollar flick about a shark. Crazy idea, but Steve went full out in production, filming half the movie in the Atlantic Ocean, dealing with a picky animatronic shark that barely worked, and having to tell the story for the most part without showing the monster. Now our three main leads are all excellent, but Roy is what holds this movie together. His casual and down to earth feeling makes the film surprisingly believable. Richard Dreyfuss is certainly the more comedic side of it, and yeah there is comedy in this movie but it works and works well. Robert Shaw is the antithesis of Richard Dreyfuss's character, serious and deranged but on the other hand has a nice singing voice. It's funny to think the most famous and acclaimed shark movie, barely has a shark on screen for not even 5 minutes in this 2 hour adventure. But if you haven't seen it, I'd probably wait until the winter where you don't want to be in any massive body of water. And even then you probably won't even want to sit in the tub. 4 stars, check it out!

And tomorrow we look at the new spy thriller set at the end of the Cold War, Atomic Blonde. Sounds like another B-movie if you ask me, like Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman or Creature With The Atom Brain. Movie titles are weird.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

In Retrospect: Ghost In The Shell (2017)

Yep, still really enjoy it!

Ghost In The Shell just hit video, and of course I bought it. It's still an enjoyable movie, that although might not hold much in terms of deep thought and reflection as the original did, that's not really the purpose. Some people ask what's the point of taking media from different parts of the world and "Americanizing" it? Well, sadly there are people in this world who would not view Ghost In The Shell because it is from Japan, or even just because it's animated. Because CLEARLY there is no such thing as mature, thought provoking, and even intelligent animated media! Who could be crazy enough to dream that up?? This is the world we live in man, it isn't perfect but it does have it's shining moments. And for an american retelling of the incredible anime classic, it does a decent job. The characters are basic iterations of the movie and show counterparts, the action which is surprisingly low is still done very well with great use of slow motion, the cinematography is beautifully crisp and clean creating a Blade Runner esque environment which I quite enjoy on my second viewing, acting is decent all around, and the movie may just be a watered down version of a classic, it's purpose was to appeal to a mass audience and not the (albeit) less underground anime fans. A decent movie for those who may not feel the need to view the original. But hey, even in the eyes of this critic it's pretty good, even if I did just see it to view Scarlett being amazing as always.

Monday, July 24, 2017

The Sandlot

I almost daresay this is a summer movie, but why?

Well The Sandlot, to my knowledge was the first sports movie I ever saw. Before I even knew half the rules of baseball or even played it myself, I watched The Sandlot. And The Beast frightened me. Yeah, that dog freaked me the hell out when I was young! To the point where I did not want to watch the movie, but now when you see him (in not animatronic form) he looks ridiculously cute, like I would totally get this dog! But if someone told me Darth Vader showed up at the end, I could have pushed through. But anyway, many people consider it to be one of the best sports movies of all time, certainly the most beloved, although and this is surprising even to me, the movie is not really about the sport of baseball but a small group of kids who play it. They play it a lot, even go against a rival team once and yet I hesitate to fully define it as a sports movie. It's more a summer movie to me. So what's the story? A young kid who just recently moved to a new town meets with a group of kids who play baseball every day of the summer, and we are told of this story through his own eyes all grown up. He makes friends with them all, learns to play better at baseball, and just enjoys his time with his friends. And I think that's what makes it more sort of accesible, and more fun for people including young kids to watch. Because it's not about the sport, they don't throw in terminology or lines that only hardcore baseball fans would know. Anyone with a passing interest or knowledge can enjoy this movie. It's more about the young boys than the sport. And that's what makes me say it's not really a sport movie like say, Friday Night Lights or Major League. And the problem is I don't watch sports movies hardly ever, it takes a lot to get me interested in watching one, but with this I feel like I could pop it in anytime and enjoy it, in fact...I do! It's a fun, really good movie with memorable characters, funny scenes, it just has this fun, care free sort of feel to it, and holds the most cuss words I have ever heard in a G rated film! I mean damn kids. I just really like this movie, and for those of you who do classify this as a sports movie, it's definitely my second favorite, next to Rocky. Probably because it defies every single sports movie trope, and for those of you who do not know anything about sports or don't watch sports movies you're in luck. I have a supplemental sort of review-esque video where one of my favorite critics dissect why people watch sports movies. It's not too in depth, in fact it's more of a brief overview of various movie tropes of sports films so you don't have to worry about it dragging on. It's only about 10 minutes if memory serves correctly.

Here's the link:

Well that's it for today, but tomorrow might hold something new in our midst.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

So Many Things To Review, So Little Money....

It sucks having no cash. But guess what I got today? So expect more reviews next week. I thought about summer, which lead me to summer movies. You got your blockbusters, your action movies, and your sports movies. Right? Well, I don't like sports so therefore I'm not a big fan of sports movies although there is at least 3 or 4 I could talk about, The Sandlot is the first movie that comes to mind so why not do that next week? Blockbusters have been huge for about 40 years but it all started with a big hollywood budget for a b-movie plot, Jaws. That screams summer, and in many cases just screams and it's high time I do that movie! And the sci-fi's have been on my mind a lot lately, mainly Star Wars and recently Star Trek. Why not review more of the Star Trek movies? I only did 3 consecutive movies with the original crew, and 3 with the updated new crew. So there's definitely more to talk about wouldn't you agree? I mean it predates Star Wars by 11 years if I remember correctly, I do need to watch more Star Trek so I would like to talk about the shows but that will come much, much later in the future. And lastly, Atomic Blonde hits theaters next week so you better believe I'm in. I was ready to see that movie 3 months before it hit nationwide theaters. So at the very least, expect Jaws, The Sandlot, and Atomic Blonde next week. Catch you later on down the road, for there is always something in the works in the old duder's head.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

In Retrospect: Kong Skull Island

Is it 2020 yet?

It's a great time to be alive. I mean, in 2 weeks Shin Godzilla hits video here in the
states, next year Legendary's Godzilla gets a sequel, and in 2020 a rematch of King Kong Vs. Godzilla. But hey, this retrospect is about Kong so let's talk about his movie. Again. It's still awesome! I still love it. Kong is an amazing creature, done with great special effects, and really acts like an ape. Albeit a very big ape, but you know. In fact all the creatures are cool, though I severely doubt the Skullcrawlers will make a comeback. Looking back, I love all the cast but my God Brie Larson. I have no idea what to say about her, beyond yeah she's good but I just get this weird feeling from her. Nothing bad, just I find it very fascinating how she acts in this movie. She's a smartass, but compassionate. Tom Hiddleston is a great lead, certainly the most sensible person in the group. Samuel Jackson is an asshole, but really don't we love him like that? So the main leads are great, most of the supporting cast are great, although the military are entirely expendable in this movie. And one thing I failed to mention, my God this movie loves it's jumpscares and lens flares. Have I made a rhyme? Anyway, still a decent movie, after credits scene is the best scene, Kong is awesome and so is his new movie. Go buy it.

Friday, July 14, 2017

War For The Planet Of The Apes

Holy shhhrimp!! Wow, this movie was amazing! Talk about a movie series that gets better with each movie!

I mean damn guys, this movie was rough but my God was it amazing! They were not screwing around with the title, WAR For The Planet Of The Apes. I mean this movie is dark guys, in imagery alone this film recalls the Vietnam War, slavery, and nazi concentration camps. Whoa. I mean everything, 99% of the movie is flying colors in terms of great work. The special effects have only gotten better, the action is very difficult to watch for the most part because apes just get slaughtered, acting is superb by Andy Serkis, and Woody Harrelson is so horrible you just want to punch him in the face (That's a compliment!), just everything blew me away in terms of quality. So the movie takes place 15 years after Rise, Caesar has been ruling in peace but a military cell has been hunting them down relentlessly, forcing Caesar to challenge an entire militia to save his people. Guys, you have got to watch this movie. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon. I am dead sucking ferious, this movie is amazing! I love this movie! If I compiled a top 10 list of best films of the year, I would daresay it would be top 5 maybe even top 3 (so far). A solid movie trilogy, a solid PREQUEL trilogy! Whaaaat?? When has that ever happened? Never, to my knowledge. So obviously this movie series is something special. By all means, watch these movies!!

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

I daresay this movie is significantly better than the first.

So Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes takes place, I think 3 years after the first movie. Mankind has been whittled down to almost nothing, the apes have built a civilization for themselves, but all is not well. A small human cell is planning to take out Csesar, and even there is dissent in Caesar's world. I mean the world is a post apocalyptic wasteland, no power, limited supplies, it's a very grim time for the humans. But not all hope is lost, a family has been seeking peace talks with Caesar in an attempt to you know, not start a war. But if the title of the next movie tells you anything....yeah, it didn't work. There is a lot of internal struggle between opposing factions in this movie, and surprisingly you genuinely want the apes to win. I mean the humans are (mostly) asses, and yeah not all the apes are goody two shoes either, but you see what an honorable leader Caesar is so I have no problem saying the apes rock! It's a lot more drama filled movie with great action scenes, more in depth character development, and it's just a superior film to the first. I actually do not have predictions for the next movie, none at all. I am going in totally blind tomorrow, and I am excited as hell!

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

A solid entry to the beginning of a trilogy.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes is surprisingly a great movie. You know, this is like the one film franchise not many people have seen nor know much about. I mean people have seen the original movie, but beyond that not much. And there's what? 5 or 6 sequels to the original Charlton Heston movie? No one has seen them. So it was kind of a gamble to do a prequel to Planet Of The Apes. And I think it paid off in aces. So the movie has James Franco as a scientist (just go with it) developing a cure for Alzheimers, and tests it on apes which makes them highly intelligent. An ape gives birth and sadly is killed, while her son now born with an advanced intelligence due to the medication is adopted and raised by Franco and named Caesar. Through the years he becomes more intelligent, even able to do sign language but sadly he has to be given to an ape sanctuary, and then Malfoy turns up. Yeah I know his name is real name is Tom but come on, he's Malfoy and he is a diiiick in this movie. Yeah, he abuses Caesar but he escapes, finds the smart juice, pumps the apes full of it, and we got ourselves a revolution. Now people might be saying, well how on earth do the apes win? We have guns, and the military, but the film actually does have a reason. I really like this movie, though action is sparing if barely existent it's awesome, it's more about the journey and character of Caesar than anything else, and I firmly believe Andy Serkis deserves awards for his potrayal as Caesar. Dude seriously is what makes this movie amazing. Bravo sir! But...he's not my favorite ape. That honor goes to Maurice the orangutan. Why? Well, he's the smartest ape. Yeah, smarter than Caesar. He already knew sign language long before he met Caesar, then he got the smart juice and became even more intelligent, I'd almost say Gorilla Grodd intelligent. So yeah, he's my favorite. I know this is an odd thing but really this movie is pretty good, like you should totally rent it and watch it. I don't even know who this movie's target audience is! But you should go see it! So tomorrow we pick up on the next movie.

Friday, July 7, 2017

In Retrospect: Power Rangers (2017)

Yep, this movie is still pretty good!

I love Power Rangers, it takes the most absurd things and pairs them together but still takes itself so seriously. It reminds me alot of the Adam West Batman show, and the movie still has that aspect. It doesn't have half of the sheer cheesy awesomeness of the original show but it does have it in small doses but still takes itself incredibly seriously. People compare this to The Breakfast Club meets superpowers, but I find that sort of unfair. True it has elements, troubled teens slowly learning more and more about each other and becoming good friends, but I find much more to the movie than a semi-Breakfast Club clone. I really enjoy these kids, and yes Billy is still the greatest in my eyes, and I can surprisingly find myself more easily attached and liking these kids than the originals from the show. Don't get me wrong, they're cool, they're nice (a little too nice), but something about the kids actually being you, teenagers with attitude and real problems just gets me very interested. I want them to become the Power Rangers and save the world. It is still great to have Bryan Cranston as Zordon even though he is mostly used for exposition but then again, isn't that what Zordon was like in the show? So I guess I can't complain too much there. I can still complain about Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa though. Just....doesn't seem like Rita to me, she still gets a bit over the top and yes I do agree she poses a real threat but, something about the casting choice doesn't rub me the right way. Also, what is up with recent movies having more organic looks and feels in movies? Now let me be perfectly clear, I LOVE the suits! They are incredible! They look just right, classic but updated. I like the Zords, they basically still look like giant robot dinosaurs so I can't complain there, but the Megazord It looks so flimsy, and stupid. It doesn't look like a robot built of smaller robots. It looks so alien, I mean I know that's the point but it just doesn't scream giant robot to me. Also, that is not Goldar. Just wrong. He's like a friggin' ape in gold armor that has wings, a flying monkey from Oz in kickass armor. Not a giant, melty, boring gold monster. But I still freaked right the hell out when I saw Tommy AND Kimberley side by side in the same scene. Like whoa dude. I love fanservice. Yeah, I'm a grown man and I am proud to own the new Power Rangers movie. If you're a fan you would probably buy it anyway, but if not you could rent it and give it a shot. It's a fun reboot to a beloved nostalgic series. What's not to love? Well the criminal underuse of the theme song makes me sad, but small potatoes! Until next week, friends.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

In Retrospect: Logan

I know, friggin' finally! Only took 8 years!

This is a hard ass movie to watch. Not because of the gore or the language, but I mean Jesus Christ guys this movie is depressing. Is it still a great movie? Absolutely, but by God you are sober when those credits roll. I have to admit I did not buy the blu-ray where you could watch the movie in black and white, but honestly I can just turn off the color on my tv so I know I can do it one day. But anyway, yeah. It's very fascinating going from the first X-Men movie with Logan being this wise ass, hard hitting, nigh invincible, SOB to this very broken down, very tired, slowly dying old man. I mean yeah, he still throws down and is awesome but it's painful to watch. I mean the poor guy looks like he's going to collapse just from taking a few steps and he gets all kinds of jacked up in this movie. I mean Hugh Jackman man, dude's already so lovable and just 8 different flavors of amazing, it's very hard to watch him in this movie because of how attached we've become in like what is it now, 10 years? I still can't get over that! I almost argue it's way harder watching Charles, because he's 90 years old, his mind is breaking down due to dementia, he has seizures which end up killing people. It's just a sad, sad movie to watch because of how much of a fundamental low point this movie is for these two beloved characters. And I think everyone should see this movie! This is a great character movie, I'm so proud to own it, the characters are great, the acting is what sells this movie, Dafne Keen is a walking death machine and yet I still want to squeeze her cause of how sweet she is, it's a heartbreaking conclusion to the character of Wolverine, and actually makes me want to read stories about him. I think that is the true intention of a comic book film, to get people interested in the original source material, for them to become die hard fans of a character. And you know what? I want to read Wolverine comics, because he's a great character, I'm going to miss Hugh, I love Hugh, he did perfect justice to the character, and this is his shining moment in film history. Oh sure, you could argue other movies, but this is a character he's been doing for 10 long years. So that means you get good performances and great character building because it's all done by the same guy. I miss you Hugh, we all do. I'd tell you to buy it but quite honestly, with how long it took me to get to this review you've probably already watched it about 10 times and don't even need me to ramble on so I'll just quit while I'm ahead. Tomorrow, we got another In Retrospect and I can say I am stoked for it. It's high time we get back to Angel Grove.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Baby Driver

This movie was better than I anticipated.

Baby Driver is a great crime drama directed by Edgar Wright following a beyond expert getaway driver trying to settle down in life and leave the ways of crime behind him. I have no issue saying 50% of the reason I saw this movie was to listen to the soundtrack, this is a musically driven film, with the expert editing and direction of Edgar Wright. All the actors do great jobs, although mind you, only Baby and his girlfriend Debora are the nice characters, just about everyone else is a dick. But hey, this movie ends kinda the way you wanted it. Music selection (save for one song) I did not know but by God did I still enjoy it. The action is decent, the comedy is non-obtrusive, it's more a character driven film and not just a vroom vroom bang bang movie like the trailers have been leading you to believe. Actually, that's an interesting point. If you watch the first trailer then watch the others, it goes from drama and character to, CARS EXPLOSIONS GUNSSSSSS!!!!!! It's stupid. Guys, give this movie a shot. I highly, highly recommend it. Dig those groovy tunes, and tell me what you think.