Twin Peaks: Season 3

Ooookayy then...

Not really what I was expecting. When I say the word conflicted, I don't think I've ever meant it more in my entire life. I do want to say first and foremost I am not going to be one of those people who lauds this season but I'm also not a person who is actively hating this season either. Cause it did hold my attention and interest for the ungodly 18 hour runtime mainly due to the very simple question of, "Where is this going?" and the thing is you're not gonna get much. I think this honestly is my Inland Empire where I don't really get it and I don't know what to do with it. It's rather interesting to watch this season because you think, my God 18 episodes at an hour a piece soooo much must happen! And it...just does not. I can sum it up in three instances, Cooper gets out of the Black Lodge physically but not fully mentally, Gordon Cole is slowly piecing together more on the Red Room and the return of Cooper through murder investigations, and we follow the evil doppleganger of Cooper as he tries to circumvent being trapped in the Black Lodge again. Now I'm going to share with you a technical term of writers that you typically do not see in media: non-sequitur, is the word I would describe this season as. Essentially it means that the very next scene to anything has no bearing or impact in the long run. But to be paradoxical for a second, is a non-sequitur still a non-sequitur if it continually happens again and again? Because when I tell you that this season at least 80% of the time feels like filler cul de sacs I'm really not exaggerating. This season meanders, and plods, and wanders to a limit where most people's patience would burn out before they got a quarter of the way through it. But as I said I was too intrigued and curious to ever call it quits! I was shocked, puzzled, laughed, and cried at moments that kept me engaged to the end of it all but I safely can say this is not for everyone if not the vast majority of anyone. Yet the production and David's full time creative mind is on solid form, broadening the horizons of the world to the point where I'm not even fully sure it can be called Twin Peaks anymore due to how little we are in that town (yeah I'm sounding like one of those people I knowww), it does admittedly lose a bit of the magic with it's post 2010 look yet it still looks pretty gorgeous at times, the music is the absolute highlight of the entire season for me without a shred of doubt almost to the point where I want to say to hell with the show buy the soundtrack, the new additions and returns of the old cast are still handled very well albeit criminally short for our returning castmates, and it does have entertaining moments. Now was I fully expecting some hardcore nostalgia riding into the aftermath of the season two finale? Frankly, not even a little bit. I had faith in David to continue this strange torpedo while still bringing something entirely fresh and new to the story without having to really tread over familiar ground beyond the town of Twin Peaks itself. And I eventually did get that! 14 episodes in out of 18, and hell Cooper isn't fully back to 100% until episode 16! It still wasn't too little too late for me at that point, but I am almost fully endorsing the most disputed of golden calfs in any fandom ever created, the fan edit. I have only touched a fan edit one single time and it was for The Hobbit trilogy and the one I found honestly is the only way I will watch it from now on. I'm at least trying to give you a different angle to approach this finale. Coming from an individual who's patience is near boundless and can easily sit through higher than average runtimes, 18 hours is shockingly unnecessary for this. There are a virtual army of The Return truthers out there who will praise and gush over this series without so much as an average opinion on any aspect, and I envy those people. The oh so simple easy way to throw out terms like, bait & switch or unmitigated high expectations, to flow from my lips is striking but I don't really feel that. No one, I repeat no one could make a television series like this on accident, there is something to it that David wanted to convey. Just because I don't get it doesn't mean it's bad. I don't know entirely what I'm feeling though at this time. What do I even rate it? A big fat question mark would be appropriate but I try to center myself on something. As a whole, both of production and story, I'm gonna give it a 7/10. May have broken new ground ten years on since starting this show, cause television series ratings do not go down each subsequent time on this website. I don't even like that this was what it came to be, but what can I do to change it? Nobody can change it. You either accept it or deny it. I'm willing to accept even if not happily. But it certainly does not diminish or taint my love for David and the creations he has brought to this world and I'm happy to have gotten through this show regardless. I hope you all have more days of beautiful blue skies and golden sunshine all along the way. Everyone have a great day!

Twin Peaks: Season 2

NO! NO! YOU DO NOT GET TO PULL THAT!

Are you frick fraking serious right now?? I have never freaked the hell out this hard over a season finale in my life, and the worst part is I can't even talk about it! Yeah yeah, 30 year old show, don't care cause you need to watch it! Okay, gotta breathe, inner peace. Whew, I got this. Don't really know where to start, but I got this. So Twin Peaks, resounding success despite the Lynchian aspects to it comes back swinging with a whopping 22 episodes for this season making it the longest (and possibly most involved) season of the entire show. So much happens in fact I have no choice but to do it a tremendous disservice and not cover everything because 1. The plot greatly expands beyond the murder of Laura Palmer, and 2. Because of the length I had to watch it over the course of 4 days and my memory has more holes in it than a sponge! But basically after the attempt on Cooper's life the case continues on and even I will admit I was shocked how quickly we found out who killed Laura Palmer, now massive cock up on my end with watching Fire Walk With Me first that is all on me, but even still not half the season passes before we get the resolution on that. And this is actually one of the biggest detractions I have heard about this series, that nobody really gave a shit about the show after the murder mystery was solved and that it was pushed heavily by the studio who didn't want to see it naturally conclude. That's bullshit and very frustrating but here's the thing from my perspective: The show is called Twin Peaks, and not The Case Of Laura Palmer. We spend oodles of time situated in this town, getting to know these people, sinking into their own lives and drama and indeed following the aftermath of the killer I was still strongly invested! Did it wane a little bit before it got close to the finale? Yes, but ultimately the story that follows with this psychopath from Coop's past setting up shop in Twin Peaks for his own devious schemes isn't horrible! I feel the show has to juggle so many plot threads eventually some just get dropped without even a remotely satisfactory conclusion, but truth be told that's the only major strike against this season. Production wise in nearly every aspect if it isn't as good as season one it certainly has been improved upon. Now I know that David at this time pretty much from episode one of this season was off filming, if memory serves Wild At Heart, and for a fraction of a second loses that unique enigmatic charm that pervades the entire first season but rest assured it finds it's own footing again by episode two. And indeed the remainder of the season has charm, laughs, surprising twists, and a good fair few cliffhangers that made me dash to the next episode. It's still a very good season despite the naysayers that have accumulated since the original broadcast dates. I'll certainly tell you this, the characters are not dull and have plenty to do. Kale is still on stellar form regardless of scenario or unexpected twist as Coop, and it's no wonder him and David were thick as thieves since Dune. Michael Ontkean goes through the ringer this season and we see a lot more from Harry than just a stalwart good police officer, which is nice and obviously a good sign of expansion which a lot of the characters, for good or ill have. Richard Beymer has a full on 180° as Ben Horne which was unexpected and certainly kept me guessing to the point where I'm infinitely curious if he'll turn up in the third revival season. Sherilyn Fenn I think has the hands down most full character arc of the show when you really break it down, from anarchist teenager to growing businesswoman under her father so she got nothing but range in this series! If I could just shoutout Don S. Davis as Major Briggs, he already had my attention in the first season but even though he is still on that side character podium his performance and cadence is nothing short of spellbinding, and...just that moment in the diner when he's telling his son Bobby about his dream, I'm just gonna say it that's not only my favorite scene in the entire show thus far but is one of the crown jewels of the series. Also strongly have to shoutout Frank Silva as Bob who is simultaneously one of the most intangible threats in fiction and yet extremely terrifying, I have no doubts the man was a joy in real life but how they direct, and shoot, and write about Bob eugh, it just gets under my skin so perfectly. And our replacement villain is an interesting bat shit force to be reckoned with played by Kenneth Welsh, and the personality of this well read almost thespian murderous psycho with a penchant for chess is still just that right amount of weird for Twin Peaks. And just to lightning round my thoughts on the other side characters, Donna and James have moments but mostly is kinda filler hate to say, same kinda goes for Ed, Norma, and Nadine but ooh Nadine is very much my kind of lady woman, Shelly and Bobby pretty much are still on the same page as season one with some fresh elements thrown in here and there but ultimately average, the will they won't they with Lucy and Andy I rather adore and was a persistent highlight for the season with me, Pete you're still my king and you deserve the world, oh sweet bloody Mary can we just talk a sec on the guest appearances? How in the nine circles of hell itself did no one, I repeat NO ONE, ever bring up the fact that David Warner the legend himself is in this, Dan O'Herlihy of Halloween 3 fame who by the by you cannot convince me for a micro second that's not Conal Cochran resurrected from witchcraft fuckery, David Duchovny who is a transgender woman in the FBI by the name of Denise in 1991 before either women were permitted in the bureau and The X-Files was a thing so props to you for being surprisingly progressive, and we got Billy Zane as a romantic side character cause why the hell not! Don't get me wrong I'm here for it 1,000% percent but I'm still reeling from that information even as I type it! To touch a bit more on the production, it feels bigger than the first season with the sets and directing, the cinematography is still very nice for a TV show and does lend itself to cinematic moments for sure, the Angelo Badalamenti score is the stuff dreams are made of and despite only a few new pieces of music never gets dull in my opinion, the lore or mythos of Twin Peaks gets strongly expounded upon and if the Red Room was kinda losing you abandon all hope ye who enter here because it gets out there! In fact it got more out there than even I anticipated and how that finale goes down, it's done super well and can be effectively disturbing but knowing there was a 26 gotdamn gap and for all intents and purposes that was the ending, I am counting my lucky stars that I was born the year I was, I'm watching Twin Peaks the year it is now, and I don't gotta wait! How in the fuck did you people do this?! I'm flabbergasted just thinking about it! So, what do I rate it? It isn't as good as the first season which is a rare occurence on my show but it is a good season and that's all I really need. This was a scatterbrained review if I ever friggin' wrote one and there was so much to unpack I know I forgot something it was as inevitable as the sun will rise and the sun will set, but it is worth watching all the way through. 3 stars, 8/10, and we got one more before we go.

Twin Peaks: Season 1

We're here.

I didn't even begin to have an inkling of what Twin Peaks was, and I gotta say upfront it is not like Fire Walk With Me really at all. Obviously I've only seen the first season of this show thus far and to be honest the thing I saw most in association with this show out in the wild as it were was, there's some great big underlying mystery that people have tried for decades to crack, and maybe I just read stuff on face value but this first season while not necessarily cut and dry is very easy to grasp, understand, and enjoy. Not the wisest decision to watch the film first, that's my bad but I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't hooked. Spanning only a modest 8 episodes we follow Special Agent Dale Cooper as he arrives in the rural town of Twin Peaks to aid in the murder investigation of Laura Palmer. But it's not really the full extent of the show, we spend a lot of time getting familiar with this town and vastly more so it's residents. Who they are, what they do, what's their link to Laura, what relationships do they have with each other, it's really impressive storytelling to see this engrossing web get weaved episode by episode and not for a microsecond does it get dull. Obviously a show has groundwork to set up and ample time to do so, but it really does craft this character in and of itself for the town of Twin Peaks all on the backs of these characters in relatively a short span of time, and the writing is really damn good at it. It's more an ensemble series rather than a main star and a revolving door of supporting characters. In fact it was really hard to narrow down the cast list for this review because there's that many! I suppose we'll start with Kale as Dale Cooper who is easily my favorite character of the show, I seriously have no clue what it is maybe it's the script maybe it's the delivery but he just cracks me up in this! It's impossible to describe, you just gotta see it. Which kinda sums up this show so far for me, I'm not a fine enough wordsmith to articulate what I have seen here and there's almost too much to talk about. I can't remember who said it but they equated Kyle playing Dale as David Lynch, and it clicked eerily well so maybe that's why I love him so. To lightning round the characters so we don't spend all day just discussing that we'll focus on main supporting cast. Agent Cooper works in cooperation with Sherrif Harry S. Truman (Yes I'm serious.) played by Michael Ontkean who is head of the modest yet dedicated police force of Twin Peaks. We meet Laura's best friend named Donna played by Lara Flynn Boyle who takes the murder investigation into her own hands seeking answers, where she interacts with anarchy incarnate rich girl Audrey played by Sherilyn Fenn and biker boy James played by James Marshall to aid in her investigation. But there's other goings on in Twin Peaks and not all of it is good but you'll have to watch the show to learn more, and there are a lot of names so I recommend having a notepad to help keep all the strands untangled. It's worth it, that's all I'm saying. Very interesting to watch especially by episode 3 which everyone claims is the make or break episode for audiences, the first two episodes get you situated in this world with these characters and takes it's time to build the world, and thennn the 3rd episode happens and all I have to say is The Red Room. I don't even know what, but I'm rolling with it. Then the show adds supernatural otherworldly elements into it, but nor does it lean heavily into it either! It's just sorta there and isn't made that big a deal of, but I get why people would be turned off on that because the first two episodes for the most part are a mystery drama and people don't like when something shifts genres unexpectedly. I call it the From Dusk Till Dawn effect. But I was so engrossed in this show that it was just another layer of enjoyment for me! Some people might laugh at the almost soap opera-esque moments but I feel that was intentional on David's part. I'm kinda having a hard time to describe why I liked it as much as I did, I can't even remember the last show that got me so hyped and scrambling to put the next episode on because of the last episode's ending. I can't pin it on anything specific like the mood or style, or the fine acting, or the deepening story with all these characters affecting it, I'm really stumped on this. I just loved it. Couldn't recommend it stronger if I tried in all seriousness even when I know it just isn't going to be everyone's damn good cup of coffee. I haven't seen anything else like it in my life and most likely never will again, so I feel compelled to spread the word. Even though this show just had it's 34th anniversary so it's been around in the ether for some time, I don't care you have to watch it. I have spoken. Great start so far, 4 stars across the board, 9/10! !kcor s'teL

Black Bag

Been itching for some espionage.

Will fully admit though the story looked interesting it was the combination of Michael and Cate in the story that got me to go see it. And also big time props for the movie not really doing a lot of hand holding as you're pushed into this plot of a married couple in an intelligence agency have to find a leak within their own organization who has intent to sell an albeit original doomsday weapon, which I actually greatly appreciate! The movie is told well enough and is concise enough (with a 90 minute runtime to boot) to where you can grasp the character dynamics and the stance each character has in the agency, and it's a mystery first and foremost which again I appreciate. We don't need extensive gunplay and explosions to make it interesting! Michael Fassbender is a pretty solid lead, I buy he's this vastly intelligent agent who has a knack for reading people with ease and while the movie is juggling six "main" characters he is the primary focus. Hell the relationship between him and Cate Blanchett is fascinating in and of itself, we rarely get stories with agents who know their spouse is an agent as well and Cate easily holds the edge and you know she's done legitimate field work and has little qualms ending a life. Then we have our suspect list of characters each unique and noteworthy. Naomie Harris as the office shrink with dirt on everybody lends a wild card element to her and plus it's Naomie, she's grand! Tom Burke as this loose and fast agent with a penchant for swearing and banging is certainly a new type for this genre of film and no doubt is more for the sparse comedic relief. Reģe-Jean Page who I don't think I've seen since our Paladin companion in Dungeons & Dragons, is your more typical suave agent but still gets to put his own spin on it. And last but not least Marisa Abela who is the more tech based agent who has a fascinating attraction to our man Michael, which I don't know why but it gave her a lot of personality and humor. Also shout out to Pierce Brosnan, though in a minor part I'm still happy to always see him, and to get him in a spy movie even if he takes on a more overarching leader role is great stuff to a certain generation of Bond fans. Production wise it's standard but good nevertheless with really nice lighting, good set design, and frankly the soundtrack was working for me for reasons I can't even explain myself! I kinda figured it would be decent but I walked out happier than I thought and I don't mind saying it's worth a shot seeing in theaters. I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10!

The Acolyte: Season 1

Ho mah gawd!!

Fwack that was a ride! Okay, well, let's do this shall we. The Acolyte easily was the most look forward to series that Lucasfilm had in the pipeline, and while it wasn't the 100% dark side story perspective I wanted I still got a really damn good show. Set in the still charting era of the High Republic 100 years before The Phantom Menace, a rogue assassin is targeting Jedi knights and we slowly unravel all the pieces to this mystery over the course of 8 episodes approximately 45 minutes a piece. It's not exactly a traditional murder mystery of a whodunit, if anything the mystery is more of a puzzle coming together as we learn the assassin is a twin of a failed padawan learner named Osha and one of the targets is her master Sol, so it's all connected in some way or another as we progress through the story. We get breadcrumbs, revelations, a few surprising twists I must say, and yes I am fully calling it now this is a season finale and not a series finale because of how it ends and man was I on the edge of my seat waiting for the final shot to occur during that. No spoilers in this corner of the galaxy but even I was a bit amazed they went so far. And I'll level with you straight up this is the first Star Wars series that I was really throwing myself into the social media pool of it all, seeing artwork, people giving theories, proclaiming their loyalty to the Yord Horde, all that grand stuff week after week as we all sat huddled in anticipation for the next episode. And as with all things light there must be a dark, I won't get bogged down with it but all I can say is, you dumb ****s need better representation in this court because your arguments are the epitome of moot. Now of course I'm an easy sell, I'm hardcore Sar Wars all day every day, been making minute progress in the High Republic novels, but anyone can watch it and enjoy it without catching the easter eggs and what might seem innocuous details which are actually pretty big news for us nerds. The premise is really good and the episodes gain a lot when you watch it a second time around, the characters have already gotten absurd amounts of love and it wouldn't surprise me at all if they're already making con appearences and will be popular around October, productions and visuals easy 10/10, the choreography at times is absurdly well done and I humbly feel it did outdo duel of the fates, and all the new stuff we either get to see realized in live action or are introduced to here is cool as hell. Let's talk characters! Amandla Stenberg, never have I ever in Star Wars history crushed this hard or this quick, you are a treasure and my God do you get to show true range by playing twins Osha and Mae. Wow girl you were good and the fact you're a fan like us makes it so much sweeter. Lee Jung-jae masterful at playing Sol, easily top 3 Jedi for me ever, I've never seen a more emotional Jedi and I am firmly in the Sol Patrol myself, I could spend the rest of this damn review worshipping the ground he walks on and I am dead serious. 20/10! Manny Jacinto wild card you are my guy but what a treat to see him first in this role as Qimir, and some of you filthy people need therapy just saying, and very much like Lee I'm gonna hunt down some of his other work for sure. Charlie Barnett and Dafne Keen, welcome additions to the Jedi Order and boy did they impact this fandom something fierce while also having standout moments of their own! Shoutout to Jodie Turner-Smith, I love me some space witches in my Star Wars and that's some mom goals for me plus that design was impeccable! The series kinda knocked it outta the park with this casting. Also I want a PIP, I really really want a PIP droid to carry around with me everywhere. Galaxy's Edge hook me up! I'm still reeling a bit from the ending so I'm trying to focus but my mind is so scatterbrained I feel a lightning round is in order to just center myself. Breathe. Bazil is best boy, Cortosis making a comeback is awesome, Selkath spotted this is not a drill, episode 5 is jaw dropping and the best of the series, really want that cortosis helmet as well, light whip needed more time but friggin' sick it made the leap to live action after so long, witches who use the power of song in their magicks don't mind if I do keep it coming, also wanted more Wookiee Jedi in my life but hey I'll take it, lightsaber crystal bleeding hoo hoo mama you know what I like, stellar creature designs and animatronics, gorgeous scenery, and I literally did a spit take when (*CENSORED*) turned up. Is there anything I do not like? One thing, but I can get over it. We get a character who turns babyface at a point and it felt just a bit too quick for my liking, if they planted the seed and as the episodes progressed we watch it grow and bloom I wouldn't mind so much but again I at least understand the character motivation behind it so it's a whatever point. Apparently people got uppity about Carrie-Anne Moss not being prevalent but I haven't seen...any of her filmogrpahy now that I think about it so I was absent on that party. All I have left to say is Leslye thanks for taking up this project, you know how to gut punch like a champ, and made me question aspects of storytelling I never questioned before in Star Wars you're brutal and I love you for it. Satisfactory and entertaining I think, ballsy at times for sure, and I'll give it 3.5 stars, 8/10! Try review bombing that dipshits. 

Maxxxine

Not fully what I expected but I'll take it!

It certainly paid off watching all the movies chronologically because this movie wears it's references on it's sleeve and I feel caps off the trilogy just fine. Set in 1985 we catch up with Maxine in Hollywood California as she is starting to make the jump to feature films but a blackmail plot centering on her bloodsoaked past is about to blow the lid, and on those occasions well...it's time to make plans. Ever so slight misdirect in the trailers though, it kinda shoves the Night Stalker angle down your throat but it doesn't bear much semblance on the plot, more as a background incident that helps set the stage which the movie was awesome at, it gets you in the mindset and gives a brief overview of what was going down in that corner of history. The soundtrack, the fashion, the world events, and all those small details that an old ass nerd like me can pick up. At almost 2 hours without credits the film moves at a brisk pace showing the transition of Maxine from porno star to movie star, and the mental state she is in. I mean obviously if you survive the events of X you're gonna have some PTSD in some way, so I appreciate how much the filmmakers tied everything in a pretty little bow for us fans. I'm not certain if the film crew shot on proper 1980s film stock or cameras but it had that particular look about it while keeping the modern techniques as with Pearl. I do ever so slightly sense this movie may not grab everyone how the last two movies did, but really the quality has barely shrunk. Mia is still a great lead and getting to see her achieve movie stardom gives her enough material to work with, plus she's just a fucking mental badass at points like my God! Girl has got issues but those moments were my cup of tea. It really is her film but the supporting cast of characters do fine work, from her agent played by Giancarlo (still the man), to her video store metal friend played by Moses Sumney who had my vote for best character, to just the messenger private eye of the blackmailer played by Kevin Bacon, some shine brighter than others but all did very well. It doesn't truly fit that horror vibe as the others which may contribute further to it being the black sheep of the series, it fits more a mystery drama but it got no problem showing some visceral detailed gore. I'll admit straight up to you this is the weakest entry in the trilogy, but it's still getting a good ass score! If you're a fan you'll no doubt enjoy it a great deal and if not you can walk away entertained regardless. I give it 3.5 stars, 8.5/10! A very good week, and next week will be limited to one review but I got some shows coming up for you so I'll need the time. By all means give it a watch and let me know which is your favorite, if I had to pick I'd probably go with X myself. So be safe, stay fit, stay sharp, make good decisions and I'll see you in a week!

Fire Walk With Me

In the immortal words of David Lynch himself, "What the hell??".

Eraserhead I could get. I had even a small foothold when talking about that film, but Fire Walk With Me is absolutely what people think of the term "a David Lynch movie" is. Set as a prequel to the show Twin Peaks but made 2 years after the show at that point wrapped up, this more or less focuses on the final living days of Laura Palmer who from what I can discern the first season of the series delves into her murder investigation. And it almost seems that's what the beginning of the film is setting up, two FBI agents investigate a different case that has tentative links to Laura's future demise but unfortunately because of behind the scenes woes the film got reshuffled and is very different from the original script, so you're rolling with a brief investigation and then the movie shifts gears without a clutch right into the life and experiences of Laura Palmer. I didn't mind that a great deal because I knew this was essentially laying the groundwork for the series to build upon so the different actors for the same parts, the ultimate revelation of Laura's death, and the things that other fans would call inconsistencies I had no issue with because this is my first experience of the world of Twin Peaks. But yeah from the oh so very brief research I did into this apparently people were not too keen on this film when it came out but since has gotten a reappraisal. It's a fascinating experience watching this, because it really drops the pretense of a murder mystery and starts getting weeeeird and experimental, and is so not the movie you have just playing in the background while you file your taxes or cook breakfast. But I'll admit even when you're paying attention it still leaves you befuddled and wondering if someone slipped something in your beverage of choice. But I never ever claim weird and bizarre even to the point of confusion as "bad", even with shit like Killing Of A Sacred Deer that was mindwarping to the state of shellshock but not once did I categorize it as bad. I have seen some inept ignorant incompetent motherfuckers in my life who equate weird and different with bad and I got news for you champ, that's short for champion, this is a batshit movie where I'm swirling in a hurricane of unexplained moments and yet I still have interest and enjoyment with it. There is not one uncommitted individual in front of or behind the camera, everybody did such fantastic work. You couldn't say in a thousand generations this movie's star is not Sheryl Lee, I'm telling you right now man without witness or reward, without a shred of exaggeration or lie, this lady gives one of the most interesting, engrossing, and fantastic performances I have ever seen. I don't think there is an emotion she didn't potray as Laura, I mean a truly special actress. I don't know if I can fully sum up her character and probably never will but I can recommend this movie full force because of her acting alone. I have to say despite the super brief appearances in the long run of FBI investigators Chet, Sam, and Dale I really was digging their scenes and while I'm far from a super fan of crime shows/police procedural kind of stuff I easily got into the groove of their characters so well done on that. Ray Wise as Mr. Palmer did mighty good work even if the character just creeped me the hell out. Is that a stereotype these days of a suburban, straight laced, middle class dad who just seems that he stuffs bodies in a crawl space before having breakfast with the family? Just me? It might be. And like I said all the other aspects of production are great! The sets and the overall design are really damn nice, the cinematography is striking, the sound design has an edge to it, and because the film is so off the wall and experimental that means they really get to play. They get to play with what the camera can do, what kind of shot or effect do we want, what do we want the sound and ambiance to be, it's such a freeing experience when you can do that which is why certain shots and images are gonna stick with you and the strangeness of it all is what makes it stick all the more. I still got emotionally invested, I was shocked at times, puzzling over details, and even fighting back tears at a certain point. It's certainly never boring! I know it ain't for everybody so I can't recommend it to everybody, but if you feel brave enough one day to step into one of the strangest worlds you've ever known I say go for it. Not really too sure what to rate it, but I'd be talking out my ass Ace Ventura style if I said it didn't make me want to watch the show. I don't know when I'm ever gonna talk about Twin Peaks again, later rather than sooner, but I'm walking away from this in a positive mood. I give it 3 stars, 8/10! And we got one more before the day of the birth arrives for me.

A Haunting In Venice

You know I never would have suspected this series of films would be day one theater attendees, but here we are again.

When I saw Murder On The Orient Express way back in 2017 I liked it a fair bit but kinda wrote it off as a one and done, then just last year (though it seems longer) Death On The Nile came around and I was fairly interested to see it, and I think at this point with A Haunting In Venice I'm just kinda here for the Poirot films. Hell the idea of a Poirot detective story set around some spooky stuff is pretty definitively up my alley, and I'm happy to say it delivers on both respects. The year is 1947 and Hercule Poirot is retired in Venice when on All Hallow's Eve is dragged into more or less debunking a famous medium but then wouldn't you know it, a murder occurs and I'll give the film a good bit of credit for this because the case is in such supernatural waters Poirot puts up his belief in God or not depending on if he can solve the case and see definite proof of spirits. I can't say I've ever heard a crisis of faith is determined on solving a murder case so points for originality. And the film gives a good bit of atmosphere, some spookiness, and mercifully not many jumpscares! The murder and investigation I'll admit is not airtight, the movie isn't quite 2 hours so we get a lot of motive and backstory in fairly quick succession almost at the drop of a hat, but it nevertheless held my attention to the end and I somehow picked the murderer out albeit about 2 seconds before it was revealed. If this was to be the last Branagh Poirot film I'd honestly have to rewatch them all to pick overall best, but this isn't bad. The style still fits previous installments, it's directed well, the editing is sharp, and the scenery of Venice is always nice to look at. The cast is solid in particular Kenneth and Jude Hill, though Michelle Yeoh is a win always and forever! And while the bevy of characters don't get much in terms of depth and background, I'm truthfully not expecting complex three dimensional characters in a murder mystery so you take it or leave it. I'm happy with it, I love the more horror edge to it, I'm always down for a mystery and when you set one on Halloween night you got me hook, line, and sinker. I give it a solid 3 stars, 7.5/10, worth viewing in the theater I think. Next week Expendables 4, please for the love of Christ let it be better than 3!!

Wednesday

Can you believe I was gonna originally post this on Monday? My senile ass is losing it.




It was a friggin' treat watching this series. I mean obviously from the offset it had my attention, a Wednesday Addams show by Tim Burton, very much in my wheelhouse. And what I got was thankfully far and away from my reservations and fears, cause when that trailer hit I was like, okay guys...you're on the knife's edge of being a CW show please be careful. It played it's cards just right. So our story involves young Wednesday Addams having to transfer to a new school where fairly immediately a mystery pops up that she's hell bent on solving, taking us over the course of eight 45 minute episodes of humor, twists, intrigue, and more than plenty morbid dialogue. And I truly must admit, during that first episode I was teetering on the fence, I saw a lot that won me over but some stuff was holding me back, but then I took a good few paces back and looked at it. The Addams Family just simply has not had a show like this, it's digging into new grounds and therefore has the right to make it's own adaptation. It's own world, characters, dilemmas, and choices. Once I remembered that, at the 20 minute mark I was all in. I am saying it. I am not taking it back. Jenna Ortega, best Wednesday. Because she takes the core baseline of Christina Ricci's Wednesday and expounds upon it immensely, hilariously grim, highly inquisitive, more blunt than a dull knife, and endlessly entertaining. I cannot express this enough, she is flawless. I thought her bubbly roomate Enid was gonna grind my gears, nope! Cute as a button, bless her heart, she's great fun and that lovely cheery balance to a child filled with woe. Pretty great to see Gwendoline Christie again, Christ she is difficult in this show though but I understand that's the point, this hardheaded principal who holds much annoyance with Wednesday and is a hurdle for her to get across. The semi-love triangle thing I could have lived without, but Hunter Doohan and Percy Hynes White did do very well and were nice characters for Wednesday to bounce off of. When I heard Catherine Zeta Jones was Morticia I could picture that incredibly well and I will admit there is one scene with her and like duuude, her acting sent a blade of ice straight through my heart. Like a chill ran through me for just the briefest of instances so color me impressed. I very foolishly held reservations with Luis Guzman as Gomez and it took exactly 3 seconds of him serenading Morticia with a Buddy Holly song and I was sold. Needed more Lurch though. Bastards. And of course, we actually get Christina Ricci in this show, and she is sooo not a cute little cameo, and then bye we never see her again. She is in every episode! Thank you for that showrunners I loved seeing her. Obviously no spoilers of even a miniscule kind, but it will be super interesting to rewatch this season I mean that's how great mysteries stand the test of time, on repeat viewings do you still get something out of it? I felt it was a very competent and interestingly woven mystery of murders and monsters, I had some theories which were wrong but I pulled a Hail Mary theory throw and it by God stuck and it was the big secret reveal. Totally didn't have any back up evidence, I just got lucky as shit. Major props to the writers though for this dialogue, it really was everything I expected and more, completely what I loved, I was laughing consistently and strongly throughout. Also brownie points for totally just pulling the rug out at certain tropes, good ol' subverting expectations! Ooh there's this secret society in the school, found out about it early on and quickly moved on. Oh there's this rivalry between Wednesday and a more popular girl Bianca, they sort it out halfway through the show and work together. But there's this weird guy who was trying to off Wednesday and fortells of her doom, he gets sliced stone dead nowhere near the end of the show. I friggin' love that man! Anything but predictable. This is the way. Teeny tiny little note, the music choices though incredibly rare throughout, there is some good stuff right there buddy boy. Seeing Wednesday craned over her cello, belting out Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones, I genuinely believe I saw musical genius for the first time in my life. Hearing this downbeat, orchestral, almost dirge like rendition of Nothing Else Matters by Metallica is easily the best damn song in the show. Holy batshit that was fuggin' goooood! Even just the regular score music is mighty good, enriching and contributing to the gothic architecture, the bleak atmosphere, the cool dark colors, yet is still photographed exceptionally well. It never is too dark, or murky, or flat they knew what the hell they were doing. I'm serious man, I didn't hold high expectations by a country mile but I was incredibly entertained and fully recommend this series to anyone with even the most passing of interests in The Addams Family. Rightfully different from other adaptations, so damn funny, engaging to watch, and gold stars for our main cast. I was kinda hoping this would be a mini-series but it appears season two is at least alluded to, but hey I like this environment and Jenna in this role so screw it, I'm there. 4 stars, 8/10, and now comes the part where we shift from mysterious and spooky, to merry and bright. The cold touch of death beckons, sweet oblivion open your arms!!

Alice Sweet Alice

Oh Jesus God man!




F***ing hell movie, for something not widely known I know this could be up some horror hounds alley. Okay, gotta get settled and try to relay the plot. So our story begins with a mother and her two daughters Karen and Alice, with Karen being the much more behaved and praised of the siblings while Alice is reaching that angsty teenage phase and is not given a lot of love and is accosted by others, and one day when they attend church Karen is murdered, quite horribly at that. 15 minutes in and an innocent little girl is murdered and burned in a church, and you will recognize a heavy predilection for religious imagery in this movie, this film has more religious stuff in it than The Exorcist. So right away the mystery solving begins as to who killed Karen, and it's not obvious as to who did it despite the title, and for an almost 2 hour film the pacing is kept up super well. However, I can firmly say I've just never quite seen a movie presented like this. The film is unabashedly 70s from fashion, the more washed out film stock, and overall vibe but it's the combination of cinematography, editing, and acting which is an entirely different beast. There is a lot of framing done from a POV even when there isn't anyone there who is watching someone, the editing is peculiar and may seem choppy almost I dare say experimental so this really isn't a movie you watch super casually while doing other things. It demands your full undivided attention but you get something out of it, whether it be production techniques or the story itself. It is a fairly eerie horror film, the music just bugs me out a wee bit, and the killer's choice of attire is most unnerving. That mask man, I will say this straight up without hyperbole or for the purposes of comedy, if I saw anyone regardless of age or gender wearing a yellow raincoat and that mask staring dead straight at me on the sidewalk on Halloween night, you could count the bricks I would shit. Michael Myers wouldn't get me to blink, that would get me to sit in a corner with a loaded rifle until the sun rises. It gets fairly bloody and the stabbing effects did garner squirming and blech sounds aplenty, and yeah it did actually get me to jump even when I saw it coming. It's no hidden horror masterpiece but it did the trick pretty well for me, and for the low low price of $1 on Prime Video I certainly wasn't robbed. Give it a chance, see what you make of it, I was onboard and was pretty happy about seeing it. I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10, and the mask wearing killer trend may continue next time and the week beyond.

The Town That Dreaded Sundown

Not a bad way to start the most spectacular, wonderful, sublime time of the year.




My second review for a Charles B. Pierce film, and I gotta say I liked it a good fair bit but it was certainly not even slightly what I thought the film was going to be. I fully expected a proto-slasher film set in the early 1970s but what we get is more or less a biopic on the real life Phantom Killer crimes set in Texarkana after the end of World War 2. The production isn't that pure documentary style Charles Pierce used in The Legend Of Boggy Creek, the closest we get to that is his narration and some brief recycled footage from Boggy Creek at the tail end. So the story involves the police force of Texarkana Arkansas and a Texas Ranger trying to hunt down a serial killer that targets young couples in lovers lane locales. And the killer is not Jason Voorhees in Friday The 13th Part 2, just uncannily similar in design and strangely has that Michael Myers mask breathing down 2 years before Halloween. The movie definitely has it's roots firmly dug into Arkansas' small town and isolated homesteads scenery which works well for the movie and setting an ominous mood for the townsfolk. I found the thriller horror aspect adequately effective, I mean concept alone is scary enough but there were times in the middle of a chase with zero musical score that I did feel apprehensive and the heart quickened a notch and yes it did actually shock me with the violence a bit. Far from ultra graphic but just seeing someone get executed two shots in the back of the head or a touch of blood spraying on a wall really wowed me, you just don't expect to see that from a early 70s film, horror or not. So I appreciate that. The film tries for comedic moments and while they don't all work the film succeeds far far more than the comedy touches in Last House On The Left which were pretty much faceplantingly unnecessary from the word go, I can live without that but it doesn't negatively strike against the film. Which is interesting because two cops we follow, one almost has an Andy Griffith vibe to him while the other is a bumbling dummy much like Barney Pfeiffer, odd comparison and showing my dilapidated age but it did strike me as that. Of course we have our director also narrate and he just has such a warm, interesting, lovely voice and it would have been a treat to be in conversation with the man, but everytime he pops up I hang on every word. I believe I got a restoration copy of the film, originally it was shot on 35mm film which is pretty impressive and the movie looks damn good because of it, and it's all free on the YouTubes so check it out if you haven't already. I found it to be a simple but decent southern fried horror film, and I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10, and next time we got even more creepy masks and bloodshed to behold.

Tokyo Vice

We're keeping the ball rolling here on Japan.




Again, very similar circumstances brought this show to my attention and I have no problem saying a big draw point to it was Ken Watanabe and seeing Japan set in the 90s. Kinda already burned me first episode that the show takes place at the tail end of the 90s, and really there isn't much evidence throughout to solidify the time period but more on that later. So our story follows american news journalist Jake Adelstein as he gets his first reporting job at a japanese newspaper and fairly quickly gets wind of a loan service connected with several suicides and tries to gather information on that while navigating the workplace environment, the yakuza, and a semi-romantic life. I will say straight up, not a bad premise but I feel even at the end of this season, and a second one has been approved, it does still feel like buildup to the next thing. Nothing big happens except for something one of our main players gets into. It is a show where the first season is setting the board with all the pieces in place before stuff really kicks off. It's also an ensemble cast and while undoubtedly Jake is our main lead, each player has ties to the central conflict of crime bosses in Tokyo. We have Samantha, a direct and no bullshit american who works as a hostess in yakuza controlled businesses. Sato, who is a member of the yakuza and frequently interacts with Jake and Samantha, even forming a kinda sorta love triangle. Katagiri, a Tokyo cop who hasn't ever been bribed and takes Jake under his wing to bust up the crime families and educate him on how the system of law works in Japan. And Eimi, who is Jake's superior and busts his ass frequently to not play detective and simply report but slowly gets involved in the deduction process. So it's this intricately designed web of a story but the good news is it's not difficult to keep up with, each main character has a distinct setting and supporting cast to where you know very quickly who each person is and what aspect of the story is being progressed. And the more I write this out, the more I think it's very Gotham-esque. A first season where things happen here and there but leave the hard hits till the last episode and leaves you more with intrigue than satisfaction for the next season, Katagiri is very much a Jim Gordon character with Jake being a quasi Bruce digging into the seedy underbelly of the city, and each character has a unique setting that further identifies them with many many ties focusing on the center of organized crime families. Cut the ludicrous storylines, case of the week, and budding rogues gallery out of Gotham and you aren't too far off the mark for Tokyo Vice. It didn't grab me as immediately or as strongly as Miss Sherlock but I was willing to see it to the end, it's only 8 episodes each about an hour long, and I thought it was decent. The casting is very solid in my opinion, first thing I've seen of Ansel Elgort since Baby Driver and he is a good lead, and props to the guy for being dedicated enough to learn japanese, which he pulls off effortlessly. Ken is not as prevalent as I would have liked him to be, but the performance is still good though I wish he got more attention in guiding Jake through this minefield of a city and more screentime. Rachel Keller is decent, not at all bashing anybody's acting in this show honestly they are performing everything with a lot of conviction and presence, yet I liked her more when she was a side character and not when she got upgraded to main character status but I blame that more on the plot than the woman herself. Rinko Kikuchi I really liked and while she is the meanest (the smallest that is) player in this ensemble, I really really hope she gets more screentime cause I could tell when I first saw her she was going to be interesting, she was going to have more to her than you think, and we get some of that so I'm looking forward to more of her. Sho Kasamatsu is in my opinion the most interesting in terms of character, he can be very laid back and fun for he is a young man and can be indeed funny, yet he has that anger and violence that would be expected from a gang member but at that same time you can tell it's not quite the life he would want for himself. A familiar character type of a reluctant criminal but done very well. So cast is rock solid, the production values are high but not top of the line which I would expect nothing less of, best intro to a modern series I've seen in a hot minute I mean beautifully styllish and unique, I dig it man. Now onto the time period idiosyncrasies, there isn't a great deal to remind you this show takes place in the 1990s. Now does that necessarily mean I need to see a Pokemon advert in the background, or see someone order a Zima in a bar, or carry around a Walkman on the streets every 5 minutes? Of course not, and you do get bits of 90s tech predominantly more so than any other facet of the decade. You got your mini cassettes, you got your portable phones, you got your VHS tapes, you got your Backstreet Boys and NSYNC, but the show looks like it was made in 2022 for modern times, with that ultra crisp definition of cinematography and admirable production of sets and clothing. Even when it flashes back to 1994 it doesn't do much to illustrate the time period. The show is based on a real reporter and all the shit that went down in his time in Japan in the 90s, but they could have updated the timeframe to present day and it wouldn't have changed a damn thing production wise. There is an art to making things look dated, look legit if it was made in a certain time and place in the world, and I don't get the sense a lot of modern filmmakers know how to achieve such a thing which is a rant for a whole other day. All in all, it's a decent but ultimately average first season, it has some good moments, some intrigue, good characters, but not a lot of story progression just not a whole lot gets accomplished but I figure they can really expand and knock this second season out of the park now that they've got their set up done and squared away to get people settled in this world they are fashioning. 2.5 stars, 7/10, one more show to go and it's not one you would really think to go in tandem with the rest this week.

Miss Sherlock

I'm so upset.




I'm just gonna say this and I'm at least 99% sure I'm on the level here. I like Miss Sherlock way more than the BBC Sherlock. Yes. And for all 2 of you remaining to read this, hi, hello, welcome, I'm so happy to be back. The worst part about this show beyond points that I will make later is I'm not entirely sure I can describe or justify why I liked it more, strictly on the basis that not everyone is gonna enjoy it the way I do. So let's rewind a bit here, I just got HBO Max and was flipping through every single collection of film and television they had and the second I saw two japanese women in the placeholders for Sherlock and Watson I just had one question, "How is this show going to work?" and the answer is very very well. I mean the show came at quite literally in a post BBC Sherlock world, with the last series debuting in 2017 and this show starts in 2018, so there is nods and tips of the hat toward that series but ultimately does it's entire own thing. So we meet up with Wato who has just returned to Japan and gets sort of blindsided into a murder where she meets a heavily eccentric fashionable lady named Sherlock and ostensibly becomes her roommate helping her crack cases and form a quite cute relationship. And while they do not become romantically involved it took maybe 3 minutes before I was just like, ship it! F***ing ship it!! Why? Why not! And the relationship along with these two main characters got me hooked and it got me hooked fast. I got halfway through the first episode and firmly was ready to charge through all the episodes and see this sucker to the end. I could be here for the next 300 years raving and fawning over our two leads, Yuko Takeuchi is in my opinion a phenomenal and hilarious Sherlock. She seems way more sort of eccentric, on the spectrum, deliberately trolls and takes the piss out of people, not caring for etiquette or sensibility because she's got murders and shit to solve, she's away! And my God is it the most glorious and beautiful thing I have ever witnessed! Still retaining the high functioning mind and alien towards human emotion but undeniably leaving her stamp on the character. 11/10, 12/10, the score just keeps getting higher and I can't stop it! Shihori Kanjiya, okay.....I am certain without doubt or question in mind my heart has been viciously stolen from me, and I am thoroughly okay with that. She is so F***ING CUTE I can't even bear it, so funny and sincere, the way she tries desperately to keep Sherlock focused and polite, heaven and gods above, below, and inbetween, I treasure this lady woman and my heart is hers throughout this series. I quite like how the working partnership between Sherlock and Reimon (Lestrade) is potrayed where Reimon is totally onboard and is very amiable with Sherlock, with her always trusting and relying on the police force and them happy to have her help. Ms. Hatano, what a lovely and polite Mrs. Hudson and even gets wrapped up in a case of her own which is cool. The crimes themselves are not terribly convoluted nor do they borrow from previous adaptations or stories, and the visual style while not nearly as in depth and visually stimulating as the BBC series, still has it's unique way of giving information to the audience. Not much hand holding, but in my experience my detective skills were keeping up incredibly well and there is still plenty a twist to this show that did catch me off guard. Real talk, the end of episode 4 dropped a bomb on me and I was not okay. My teeny-tiny heart can't take it, it's fragile very fragile. By the second episode I had this horrifying epiphany dawn on me and I raised the question, are we gonna see Moriarty and the Reichenbach Fall? Then I was concerned. Heavily. Concerned. Cause I did the research and my findings filled me with much turmoil and depression. The show started in 2018. The show ended in 2018. 8 episodes in total. God...damn it!! Of course I find a new show that I can call all my own and love everything about it, and it is ripped from my arms days after I started it. And yes the ending got me, not in a deep emotional way but I was just so upset that it was over. I don't think I have a criticism to throw at it, it really did charm me so effortlessly and entertained the hell out of me every minute. The best way I can seperate potential fans and people who just won't go for it, our emotional lead next to Sherlock's intellectual lead is called Wato-san as is customary in japanese speech. If you like that and you're okay with that, you're in, you'll love it and it's a trick so nice they did it twice (kinda). If not, there's plenty more to love but it does have that tone. Even with fairly grisly murders the tone is light, very funny, dare I say adorable at times but trust me when I say when it needs to get serious, hit a bit harder, and emotionally invest, it handles it excellently, and I know that just ain't it for everyone but it's not super flowery or silly either. I think this is not only the first live action japanese show I've ever reviewed but the first one I've watched as well, so we are busting open whole new worlds of televised fiction here today. I loved it, I thought it was brilliant, we just got back and I'm already giving a 10/10! 4 stars across the board, check it out man, and we got more business to conduct in the land of the rising sun so tune in tomorrow!

Mulholland Drive

David, God dang it!

I think this set some new kind of record, about 4 minutes in I had meathooks firmly implanted into me, I was that hooked and it dragged me through a wild and amazing trip. I'm not even sure how to summarize it beyond, a young lady named Betty moves to L.A. to become an actress and meets a woman named Rita who has memory problems after a bad crash and they try to piece together her memories, but there's quite a few characters and bizzare situations to recount and it gets a tiny complex. The last 25 odd minutes get very strange and only proceed to get more out there the closer you get to the end, culminating in a true and pure David Lynch ending. I loved it, it got my mind gears running at full speed and I feel fairly confident I actually understood what it was all about. Granted the movie is a burning venomous critique of the Hollywood system and showbusiness, backroom deals with shady people, good talent is overlooked for more attractive stars, but it makes it outrageous with assassins and dreamlike sequences that really only made me way more interested to see where this was going. And David summed it up perfectly for his main star, "Naomi knocked this thing out of the park." I can't believe she was snubbed an Oscar, this woman man. This woman was outstanding, and the chemistry between her and Laura Harring was nothing short of mesmerizing. Yeah yeah, they have a love scene and lesbionics occurs, move along move along. It's a very charming frienship they have and when it proceeds to a romantic relationship it feels well earned and lovely. And yeah, Laura Harring what a stunningly beautiful woman who can knock your socks off with her acting, and the best part for both of them is the performance evolves and deepens the further we go along. I heard tale this originally was conceptualized as a TV series and more so a Twin Peaks spinoff TV series which explains a small bit. I've only seen a grand total of 30 seconds of Twin Peaks, but it does seem to fit that strange and otherworldly environment. It's intriguing to watch and it sets this mystery up flawlessly in the beginning and you want to know as much as our main characters want to know, but it doesn't give you answers. That is your conclusion that makes the ending what it is. I had two thoughts but as we were ramping toward the ending it quickly came down to my second guess, zipper on the lips for that, go see it. It's great. To see David shift and mold this from a failed TV pilot to a cinematic odyssey is amazing, and what a way to go out this week! 4 stars, 9/10! I'm considering a fair bit to watch Twin Peaks at a later date and get reviews out for that, my interest grows more and more to finally see it but we got a while before the next batch of TV reviews. Next week my favorite time of the year, Marvel. Yaaaaay......

Professor Layton And The Eternal Diva

An unexpected example but honestly one of the best.

When I heard tale that there was a movie based on the popular puzzle video game series of Professor Layton, I was quite shocked but fully ready and waiting to get around to this. Though I am base level novice when it comes to the games, I've only beaten the first game, I think I'd be hardpressed to find more faithful video game adaptations than here. And I truthfully think as far as my knowledge goes, the reason the film works so well is because the same team or at least the major developers of the games had hands on crafting of the movie. The story akin to the games takes basically an anime version of Sherlock Holmes, where Professor Layton and his young apprentice Luke are puzzle solvers and have had a habit of accepting cases around the world, where the latest involves an opera theater being held hostage with the audience members forced to solve clues to find the mythical location of the elixir of life. It's a pretty outrageous story but it's a pretty outrageous world in the games too, mostly taking a more old world style with bits of steampunk thrown here and there, yet still keeping a timeless and anachronistic look. The animation is wonderful, effortlessly bringing the character designs in fluid motion, with some of the most intricately designed beautiful backgrounds that I more would see in a Studio Ghibli or Pokemon 3 type project. It's entirely unique to this world and the effort shows in aces throughout. The mystery aspect though not as in depth as I originally thought it to be, there's only a total of 4 puzzles max, still kept my interest and certain problems got me thinking and half the time correctly on top of that. It sure does throw curveballs at you, granted I had no idea where the story would go but I figured oh cool a mystery at the opera. Awesome! Nope. The theater turns into a boat. Yyyyyeah. Then you think oh it's a mystery on a cruise liner. Nope. And it just keeps going from there, and you can bet your ass that ending reveal pulled a venusian akido flip on me. It's certainly watchable for kids, and keeps a light adventurous feel to it but the ending handles some serious life stuff and almost passes into Fullmetal Alchemist territory though nowhere near as f***ed up. I was heavily impressed all the way through, and while I could poke fun at the ludicrous stuff, or go on another Phantom tangent because how could I not, or make the joke that the day is saved by music and green water a la´ Pokemon 2000, but I like it too much. It's the epitome of escapist adventure/mystery fiction. Now I will say the soundtrack is spectacular, dare I say sublime. There's just something that happens, and most of the time magical when a japanese composer creates music for a traditional orchestra. Like the music is so good I'm kinda pissed how good it is, like how dare you be so beautiful and immaculate? There's just so much to enjoy here and goes straight to the top of video game adaptations like Animal Crossing. In all fairness I'll give it a good 4 stars, 9/10, and I can't find many more video game movies so we're talking Sonic before Sonic 2.

Under The Skin

Holy balls.

I'm stumped for words. What the f***?? I mean I loved it, I was there for it, I was invested from the first second, I don't really know what any of it meant...but I'm okay with that. So, I'm gonna attempt and attempt is the key word here to describe exactly what I just witnessed. Alright so the movie stars Scarlett Johansson (Huzzah!) as this woman who for unknown reasons prowls the streets looking for men to lure, and essentially basically kill. It kinda sorta shifts and evolves for lack of a better term as the movie progresses but I'm not saying a damn thing more. Now first up, this is so not a movie for everyone. Not by a long shot. It is weird, it is bordering on an experimental student film with loooong stretches without dialogue, fairly long takes, interesting but slightly off camera angles, gorgeous with a capital G scenery, and visuals that simply are unforgettable. This is a movie all about the visuals and the experience, dialogue is used so sparingly and you really are thrown into the deep end and you just gotta roll with it. Now for me that works, I was endlessly fascinated and throwing out ideas to exactly what in the flip flapping hell was going on. And I don't wanna hear a word about, oh Scarlett Johansson is fully nude in this movie no wonder you praise the gorgeousness of the film, you should be ashamed of yourself you f***ing pervert. I have said this before and I will damn well say it again every time, I genuinely do appreciate actors getting nekkid because that is no easy thing to do, you have to be utterly comfortable in your skin, you have to be so brave to shoot nude scenes for anything, they have my respect for that both men and women. I was too busy shitting my weight in bricks regardless, I never ever thought I would be terrified of Scarlett Johansson in my entire life but sweet Jesus. She can do anything. Really, she can do any part and I will be there to see it. Young, stuck, intellectual Charlotte from Lost In Translation. Capable, asskicking, assassin/spy Black Widow in your Marvel's. Goddamn terrifying, unearthly, mysterious woman in Under The Skin. Wow. It's been awhile since a movie has flat out given me the heebie-jeebies, freaked me out, horrified me, and yet I wanted to see it all the way to the end and was completely and utterly invested. The overall cinematography is stunning, and needless to say the location shooting in Scotland is divine, it just looks so damn good. A24 is a mental studio capable of producing any film imaginable, a studio that is truly genreless and specializes in weird, offbeat, interesting, and slightly avant garde cinema almost built exclusively for film critics and people who love arty movies. And apparently it's based on a book, and you can bet your bollocks I am reading that soon. So what's the rating? Haven't a clue. I loved it, I was going a wee bit off the wall watching it, but I loved it so. I'm flabbergasted. Definite 4 star movie, I don't know if I can give it a 10/10, it's just such an anomaly. I'll give it a 9.5/10, and leave it at that. But boooooy howdy, you are going to be in for a trip if you watch this, and we'll be back tomorrow with a (hopefully) less odd film from A24 involving a certain decade.

The Batman

Yes, it did justice to a new Batman and a new film.

So now comes the part where I applaud this movie as the one who tops them all, the best Batman movie since The Dark Knight, a perfect 10/10. No, but I'd be hardpressed to find people who flat out didn't like it. I personally found it to be a damn fine movie and felt certain aspects were done amazingly well while others were just done good. So it's year 3 for the nightly roaming vengeance on Gotham's streets and very quickly his attention shifts from street thugs to a serial killer with a MO of riddles and death traps, nothing too much beyond what you see in the trailers plot wise. However I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, the very realistic but still grand scale fit just right and nothing went beyond what they could feasibly do. Robert Pattinson is on the more down low potrayals of Batman, not saying very much but still able to get through a lot and he embodies the role very very well. Zoe Kravitz I genuinely thought could be at least in terms of live action the best Catwoman we've had, and while the relationship/partnership dynamic was done fine I think she's on the same level with Michelle Pfeiffer. Paul Dano, sweet Jesus man, I think he creeped me out more when he wasn't wearing the mask and it does fully deliver on that zodiac killer influence, I thought he was great. Jeffrey Wright was as good as I thought he would be and I greatly appreciate that you see him investigate stuff with Batman often. Speaking of which, I loved the detective work even though it's not super involved the direction and pieces of the puzzle are really effective, you see the gears turning behind the analytical eyes of Batman, and it's almost police procedure detective work too in just observing the crime scene and figuring it out. I do feel however the vibe of a losse cannon, reckless, pure physical power Batman was not quite the case. He has some anger, he does go out for vengeance, he is pretty straightforward in his tactics, but he is tempered and doesn't go too out there which makes sense because it is his 3rd year of crimefighting, he knows his way a bit around the block. The cinematography and art direction are excellent, giving us a lot of different shots that wouldn't even be found in one of the animated movies, and the style of costumes and sets both fit the modern grit and classic gothic looks. The music score is proper good and I know I have to listen to the full soundtrack once I'm home. It is a solid movie, it is a real good movie, but I feel it will grow on me as time passes and I see it more. The first time I saw The Dark Knight Rises in theaters I liked it but I felt a bit underwhelmed, partially because I just didn't want it to end and partially because it came off the heels of The Dark Knight. However, as years went by I appreciated it a lot more for what it is and I went from liking it to loving it. I did feel somewhat the same walking out of the theater today, so you may notice in about a week's time a Second Viewing reassesment. But for now, a solid 4 stars, 8.5/10!

Death On The Nile

Only been 5 years since Murder On The Orient Express. Strange how time flies huh?

As a continuation of that movie I feel it honestly was better than I thought it would be, granted my expectations were low as always and I have no true grasp of the literary character Hercule Poirot, so with that in mind let's talk movies. The story I am happy to announce is not as cut and dry as a standard murder mystery, with Poirot in Egypt who is invited to a honeymoon cruise, where whoopsie daisy people start dropping like flies and it's time to put your thinking caps on. Now you know I don't boast my intelligence like a certain Mr. Nygma, but I had the killer identified before the murder began, but honestly it's kind of obvious who did it but like I said it isn't simple and easy either. That's a delicate balance when writing a mystery, and the way the story progresses and the direction shows you things makes for a decent watching experience. You're not meant to do all the thinking but it invites you to think and deduce, which I admire greatly. Speaking of which, you had balls movie and I'll appreciate the use of said balls for doing the thing you did, well done. The only big detriment the movie has for it is the visual effects, they're not terrible but they are at times very obvious and not that great, but hey do you come to a murder mystery for CGI or for the caper? It does look pretty at times and the whole concept of a murder mystery set amidst the ruins of ancient Egypt is a fine backdrop for the events. I'm not certain if they filmed extensively in Egypt but it works nicely. All the actors I feel commit to the roles and do very good work, in particular Branagh and Armie Hammer who I felt brought a lot of emotional power to his role, and Poirot gets a good fair bit of characterization and backstory which while feeling a bit unnecessary wasn't bad stuff. Gal Gadot still has zero right being as pretty as she is and always is a joy. It was also super nice to see Sophie Okonodo again, and her semi-flirtatious attitude with Poirot was great and I didn't actually mind seeing them together. It's a solid movie, about as good as Orient Express I'd say, but not a bad thing to waste an afternoon watching. 3 stars, 7/10, and we're doing something different for Valentine's Day.

The Man Who Knew Too Much

A decent movie in the filmography that I think many would agree on.

Not to say in the slightest this movie isn't good, it handles the world of espionage well but there's no doubt Hitchcock went on to improve certain elements greatly in later films. It handles it's story well with a family who are visiting Morocco and already some suspicious characters are introduced, and pretty soon Jimmy Stewart is witness to a murder and is told with dying breaths of a plotted assassination, and if that wasn't bad enough his son is kidnapped leading him to travel to London to save his son and try to thwart another death. I feel the first half is the better part, because you get a lot of intrigue as to who these odd characters are and you are not fully aware of the plot, so it really gets you thinking whereas when it shifts gears to get their kid back it becomes more standard fare. But the performances from Jimmy and Doris Day are really good, they have a good relationship and effortlessly potray these realistic parents. You'd get steeped into some stuff for the sake of your kid, so the movie handles that incredibly well in that respect. It's not a horrible story, the location shoots are really cool, the cast is mighty good, I like the tense atmosphere as Jimmy tries to tiptoe through this world of spies, but you can easily tell the movie has aspects that can be improved. I'm now very interested to see the 1934 version also directed by Hitchcock to compare notes, and to see if the remake is actually better. Well as a devout cinema snob it is clearly obvious remakes are always inferior to the original. 2.5 stars, 7/10, here's hoping for better tomorrow.

Last Night In Soho

Oh my God. Where do I start?

This is easily one of those movies that I have a lot to say but can't. It's truly a film that must be experienced, and it surpassed greatly what little expectations I had for it. It follows a young girl named Ella who moves out of the quiet countryside straight to London to become a fashion designer, and starts to have strange dreams of a young performer in the mid 1960s, as reality and dreams shift, merge, and stir madness. I swear if this movie does not nab best director, cinematography, editing, picture at the Oscars I will f***ing riot. It has been too damn long since I have seen a film this good looking. The colors are nothing short of kaleidoscopic, the editing and framing is a masterclass, the performances are so engrossing, the music selection is very good, just all the technicals are top notch. Speaking of performances, I would die to protect Thomasin McKenzie she is so sweet and charming, such a great lead for this film and she carried it brilliantly. Believe it or not, I'm gonna have a hard time seeing Anya Taylor-Joy as anyone but aspiring star Sandie, she could not have looked better and more suited in 60s style and fashion if she tried, despite me seeing her in other stuff. Her story only gets more involved and it had me hook, line, and sinker. Matt Smith is a dashing young man in a plot involving time travel, I'm trying so hard not to go there, and boy is it wonderful to see that handsome man again. Oh, I need to watch The Crown to see more of him. It would take me longer than the movie to gush about these visuals so I'll just say, holy shit. Edgar you mad lad legend, just how did you get it this psychedelic yet refined? Unbelievable. And it dips it's toes into the horror genre without question, though it focuses more on mystery and a severe psychological thriller side of things. All of it plays brilliantly, it's one part The Lovely Bones, one part The Night Walker, with a dash of Mean Girls, and a twist of Cruella, with a cherry on top of Corpse Bride. As last reviews go for October, this was great! 4 stars, 8.5/10, some people will bitch and moan that the plot makes no sense, or it's just artsy for artsy sake, well you can't have too much positivity in the world. Go see it! It's a wild time.