The Mummy's Curse

Happy Halloween ghouls and ghoulettes!

More of a whimper than a bang for the end. Universal was running out of steam for horror films by the mid 40s and nothing really says it louder than the fact both Ghost and Curse came out in 1944 putting an end to The Mummy until Hammer studios got their hands on it. A titanic shift has occured here in both time and space, so apparently 25 years have passed since Ghost which if my math is mathing puts this in the late 1960s but the bigger kicker is the setting has shifted from Massachusets to friggin' Louisiana! That's kind of a wide berth to put it lightly, we got french speaking residents, multiple mentions of swamps and bayous, it's Louisiana. Admittedly the Universal Monster movies like a lot of series back then outside of film serials didn't hold continuity in a great light but even I was surprised how much was in sync picture to picture so this blindisded me a notch. But hey a change is welcome to not get stale, though it's very much business as usual. Priests of Arcam are searching for Kharis in the swamp to take him back to Egypt, the reincarnated princess is being stalked by Kharis, and the whole movie gets wrapped up in the last 5 minutes in true Universal fashion. Is it bad? No I wouldn't go that far, but I do feel if it truly ended with Ghost we would have a pretty damn good trilogy here. There really isn't much in terms of protagonist here, there's a bevy of characters who don't have much part to play so we just focus on the princess Ananka which sounds great! At long last we finally get to meet this girl who's been the goal since 1940 but since she's reincarnated she just takes the shape of a amnesiac with only hints of her past, which is a shame. Even Kharis doesn't have much to do if anything becoming the mindless killing machine we were warned about from the start, strangling any soul who's at the wrong place and the wrong time. Even the ending is pretty lackluster but it has brief memorable moments and flashes of something good that keeps it from being an utter slog and far from unwatchable. It's the weakest of the bunch but that is the curse of sequels. If I had to do a ranking I'd go:

4. The Mummy's Curse

3. The Mummy's Ghost

2. The Mummy's Hand

1. The Mummy's Tomb

 

2.5 stars for this one, 6.5/10. And it appears the eleventh hour is over now and the clock is striking twelve. This was a grand October here and elsewhere, and I hope it was for you too. Wherever you may be and whatever you do this most wonderous of days, you'll always have a little corner for Halloween right here.

The Mummy's Ghost

This may have the best ending to any of the Universal Monster movies.

Not a huge leap in quality this time from Tomb to Ghost, but a decent enough entry. Well not much time has passed since the last movie with the Mummy still in Mapleton and a new priest is introduced yet again but this time with a much different agenda, pretty much grab Ananka and get the hell out of Dodge. Yet again a 60 minute runtime to wrap up the plot, with less of a body count and less interesting protagonists in the form of 30 year old looking college students Tom and Amina who got a bit of a romance going, God bless them the writers try to give character where they can but the runtime is the real killer here and not much changes in the next movie I can tell you that. Will however say Ramsay Ames is a stunningly gorgeous woman, easily the best looking lady woman of the series especially when she gets those white streaks in her hair. And congrats to all the women out there who have that too, you're stunners! But anyway, John Carradine is our new priest and I feel that's an actor who never got his flowers despite every movie I've seen him in he does damn good work, the eyework alone in this movie is intense enough to applaud. Of course Lon returns and though he doesn't get much fanfare in his first scene has some standout moments including the above mentioned ending. Do I spoil it? It is a movie that just turned 80 years old but it's not a very well known movie either, and I think it's so good that I dare not ruin it. All I can say is that was ballsy as hell and I love it to death. It makes the whole movie worthwhile and saves it from being mediocre. It doesn't have the atmosphere and direction as the last but has it's shining moments in other areas. So I'll give it 3 stars, 7/10, you really can't lose much over an hour long movie and who the hell wants to watch stuff like Heaven's Gate or Cleopatra or Gone With The Wind when you can watch all the Kharis Mummy movies instead?

The Mummy's Tomb

Now this is more traditional fare.

Made 2 years after The Mummy's Hand we jump three decades in plot time with a new priest and Kharis venturing to Massachusets to destroy the bloodline of Steve Banning from the first movie because revenge and curses just go hand in hand, as the town of Mapleton has to contend with a murderous mummy. What surprised me twofold from the movie's start is the time period and the return of Dick Foran and Wallace Ford from the first movie, I figured Hand was pretty much the 1940s but on further investigation could have been anywhere from the start of the 1900s to 1940 cause it sure as hell doesn't look like 1970 in this movie but very much is centered in the 40s, and for a Universal monster movie to have this level of continuity of both plot and characters between films is like Marvel levels today! I think I can easily say this is my favorite of the bunch so far dropping the action comedy shtick and giving us atmosphere and horror while still basically treading the same plot as before with some appreciated variation. The cemetery, the woods, the amount of shadow play on sets, the reused music from The Wolf Man, this makes a superior sequel that pushes my buttons in all the right ways. True our leads aren't as interesting as Steve and Babe, this time being Steve's son John and his fianceè Isobel but with a runtime of one singular hour there isn't a lot of room for character depth but they act it just fine and dandy. Turhan Bey though not as slimy as George Zucco in Hand, has a real good presence and is the standout performance for me. Lon Chaney Jr. who was pretty much the main movie monster star of the decade is on the same level as Tom Tyler neither better or worse, I feel is carried aloft higher through the direction and atmosphere giving Kharis a lot more scare factor and upping the body count gives it a proto-slasher vibe. I do kinda wish the Mummy movies of this decade were longer to give more breathing room and thusly better quality, but who ever said having a fun sized length monster movie was a bad thing? I give it 3.5 stars, 7.5/10!

The Mummy's Hand

It wouldn't be October without the Universal Monsters.

Made in the second run of Universal horror spanning the 1940s, The Mummy's Hand does not follow the Imhotep mummy from 1932 but probably the more iconic Kharis mummy. Set in presumably the 40s we follow archaeologist Steve and his friend Babe who are down on their luck in Egypt but come across an artifact leading to the tomb of the Princess Ananka, however the tomb is protected by priests who use Kharis as their weapon. It's very different in tone to the 1932 Mummy with more an emphasis on action and comedy than horror and romance, yet it doesn't lose it's footing and still delivers the goods. Most people when thinking of a mummy probably envision a decrepit bandaged mummy, with dragging feet who strangles people and it all started here. The story practically blazes through with a whopping runtime of 67 minutes, and it's an entertaining enough plot for me anyway. I like our leads with Steve being more the straight man while Babe is the jokester, I've heard some call it a poor imitation of Abbott & Costello but I don't feel that was the intention and the movie did get some strong laughs out of me from time to time. I almost feel it's a rotten shame fellas with the name Babe have gone out of style, I personally would love a guy friend named Babe! I also like Marta who really is the no nonsense member of the party to keep these guys in line and while not a deep substantial romantic player works that side well enough. Tom Tyler is Kharis for this picture alone before strangling duties were given to Lon Chaney Jr., and while it does take a little while to unearth him there's some creepy shots and memorable moments. The production side of things is good solid fare from Universal at this point with nice sets and costumes, and the music score is nice too. It's not an immortal classic like the golden age horror of the 30s but for us Mummy fans it satisfies and is still a good movie on it's own merits. I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10, and we got three more to go before the end of it all.

Venom The Last Dance

Well indeed it was the last.

It's funny with this series, from the beginning you could argue that it already lost half the fanbase due to the tone and quality of the film, and lost even more with Carnage, and I really hate to say it but the Last was indeed where they lost me. Now did I abjectly hate it start to finish? Not at all! There were a good few moments that made me laugh, I appreciated some badassery near the tail end, and was proud of the filmmakers not being chickenshit and actually ending it all. However! From the start I could tell this wasn't going to be an entirely good experience yet it's hard to really quantify that despite the multitude of factors that didn't click for me. But basically we pick up for like 2 minutes where Carnage left off with Eddie in the MCU before he inexplicably gets warped back to his universe as symbiote hunters start populating the world to hunt Venom with the duo being pushed to the severing point. So let's discuss some positives! I'll admit the movie did get me emotionally invested in the relationship between Eddie and Venom at points cause going in knowing that title you expect it to be a goodbye so a quiet moment or two actually worked nicely. The humor is still kinda hair brained but landed about 50% of the jokes for me so I can't hate it. Seeing a particular Symbiote at the finale wreck shit real good and watch her be a badass was rad man, I'm not that well informed on the comics so I don't know the character's name but she left an impact. And Mrs. Chen our fucking golden girl since day one, our queen that is the brightest center of the universe in a film that's farthest from, short scene but sweet and goofy, 10/10! Now for the negatives. May I direct you to the tactic colloquially known as a fucking bait and switch on the MCU, or at least I'm sure it is despite me still not catching up on Spiderman but even I know that stirred some waves at the end of Carnage and it goes precisely nowhere except for a Thanos joke. Zippidee-doo-dah! This might be the largest criticism levelled against the movie for me but my lord we get sidetracked on tangents with secondary characters, who yeah have a place in the story and come into play at the end but they spent waaaay too much time on them! This is a bit over 100 minutes without credits, they don't have time to be lolligagging but continue to do so anyway. I don't need airtight characters in a story arc that are justified in their existence, I just need decent characters here and there along the story. And to the actor's credits they don't phone this shit in, they're committed enough and don't have awful stories but it's just off. Further exemplified and even magnified by the editing, holy balls this editing. I'd almost say this is an editor's first project cause they cut so sloppily and rapidly including minute details that simply should not be there at all, and how the story progresses and the emotional crux of it is disassembled because of such choices. The potential in the script was there, but focused on in the wrong areas. I hate to go there but it's called Venom, we come to see Venom, and we don't focus the story on Venom. He's just part of a carousel of other characters that get I dare say equal parts screentime or it at least felt like it. Damn near everything should have been on the backs of Eddie and Venom, the driving force that keeps the plot moving, the emotional crucible at the thought of them being seperated forever, and the comedic relief whether too goofy or not is part of the tone for this series. The ending happens so fast it left me severely underwhelemed and asking, that's it? That's how we're doing this? No emotion, no catharsis, no interest but rather disbelief. Admittedly I didn't marathon the trilogy but now I want to for the In Retrospect of this, just to see if I can calculate where they just dropped the ball. Kelly you wrote the last two in this trilogy, you wrote Cruella, yeah you wrote Fifty Shades Of Grey too and I understand a paycheck is a paycheck but shit girl! I'm not mad I'm just wondering what's up? Was there interference, was it just a problematic shoot, did the movie you really wanted people to see just end up on the cutting room floor for one reason or another? I'm just kinda blown away by it all. The faults are plain as day but I still stress I didn't hate it, it's just middle of the road. 1.5 stars, 5/10, I can't fully recommend it but to not end on a drag I got a classic movie series for you next week that follows our tradition of black and white horror fare.

Basket Case

Odd.

It's a special kind of an experience when you watch something like Basket Case, admittedly it's one of the most original and unique horror movies ever made bar none but I almost don't know how to feel about it. The directorial debut of Frank Henenlotter is the story of a young man named Duane who we only know two things about, he always carries a wicker basket around with him and is bumping off doctors. What's great is that if you don't really know the twist or the situation of Duane, it's a movie that keeps you guessing even after the 30 minute mark when you finally see what's in the basket. Shot on an extremely low budget that started out with just $16,000 but slowly garnered more as the still in production film showed footage to backers, it's pretty great what all they do with it! With footage in and around New York City, some bloody fantastic death scenes, along with stop motion and puppetry special effects, gets an approving thumbs up from me! It's not a super involved story that barely hits the 90 minute mark with credits yet doesn't waste any time for the audience. The acting is kinda here and there but I think that's part of the charm for low budget horror movies, with good acting from Kevin Van Hentenryck as our loner Duane, Terri Susan Smith as Sharon the love interest, and Beverly Bonner as Casey the next door neighbor of Duane who hold their own and bring a sense of professionalism to a mostly first time film production crew. The rough film stock, sets, and crude effects surprisingly work really well and you don't bash the movie for any of it, never an element present that takes you out of the film which considering how friggin' weird it is says quite a lot! It's a very humble beginning yet has spawned a cult status over the 40 years since it was released. Plus any movie especially a horror film that shows full frontal male nudity has some serious balls, pun intended. You really just don't see that barely ever so that's an impressive feat under it's belt. It's bizarre but it's decent and I'm happy I saw it, may not look like much but you can find treasure even in a dumpster. 2.5 stars, 7/10, and new movie time coming up next with a certain Symbiote.

Hellraiser

This has been a movie I've wanted to review since almost the beginning, and it's been one of those movies where I keep pushing it back year after year. But I've finally seen it.

Based off the book by Clive Barker who took it upon himself to adapt and also direct the feature film, and my God is this story bizarre. Following the aftermath of a shady individual named Frank who acquires a unique puzzle box and upon solving it summons four horrific entities that literally tear him to bits, a short time later relatives move into the house who inadvertently ressurect Frank and he has plans to become a new man again with murder and freaky ass imagery abound. This easily is the most disgusting movie I have ever seen in my life, if I had a dollar everytime I said eww or made a sound of disgust I'd be a well off man before even the halfway point. The special effects are truly special and usurps The Thing as the most grotesque visuals I've seen in a horror film for my money anyway. I'd love to read the original work and am aware of the differences Clive made himself in making the movie, in fact this was his directorial debut and I'll admit he did not do a bad job in the slightest! The acting is a bit more than your ususal horror fare, with a lot of love going to Claire Higgins who is the most complex of the characters she just did such good work with this material, and I gotta admit real quick because I've seen far far too many movies I was looking at Andrew Robinson and was like I know you but why? Guess what, dude was Scorpio in the first Dirty Harry movie! So that was a big treat for me to see him act in this and he gets his moments. Despite all the promotional material the leader of the summoned entities known as the Cenobites known famously as Pinhead is not in the film a great deal and really comes more into play near the end but the performance and look is rock solid, with Doug Bradley nailing the power and dominating presence that grabs your attention seamlessly. You can tell they had a dedicated cast and crew for this and honestly it's a miracle the production studio, Roger Corman's New World Pictures, let them do what was in the final cut. It may not have as strong a representation in pop culture or fans as other horror juggernauts but it's a good movie that deserves to be seen more in my estimation. I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10! And while the month is coming closer to an end, we have such sights to show you...

Frankenstein Unbound

Oh my dear God. Where do I even start?

Well first things first thank you James from Cinemassacre for showcasing this on a Monster Madness and bringing it to my attention, second thank you Roger for going out on the most spectacularly batshit story possible for your final directing credit, so let's just do this. I wish, oh how I wish a movie would be made like this today. You know how fucking uppity people get in their tightwad asses about staying true to a book's source material these days? Their heads would explode in Lovecraftian insanity if they watched this movie, literal brains turn to soup and their heads would explode Scanners style, no question. I'm not even sure where to begin here but we'll try. So the year is 2031 (boy I can't wait to see that) with John Hurt as a scientist named Joe who developed a machine to implode matter however the experiments cause timeslips to occur and before you can say "I may have gone too far in a few places" he finds himself in 19th century Geneva. And that's only the start of the weirdness. So he meets Victor Frankenstein, then meets the fabled monster, then meets Mary Shelley and her entourage at the Villa Diodati (no Cyberman this time sadly), then somehow gets looped in the section of the novel where Victor creates a mate for the monster, as he tries to get, say it with me now, back to the future. Now Roger co-wrote, co-produced, and directed so to say he had his hand in this would be an understatement. I'm just completely speechless guys. I will give thanks and appreciation for the fact that despite the fish out of water trope Joe honestly rolls with this shit pretty quick and being an educated man knows the history of these famous literary people and the story of Frankenstein, no need for any floundering about for 30 minutes wondering what is going on. That's for after the movie ends. And to follow the more understandable concepts, the prodiction is honestly pretty friggin' good! It's practically a period piece with lots of costumes, real life settings and architecture filmed judging from the crew credits in Italy, and the special effects range from pure cheese to pretty decent when it comes to gore. Now when I heard Raul was going to play Victor I was psyched even knowing this was a film made during the very late stages of his life unfortunately, and sadly we only get bits and pieces of him until roughly the last 30 minutes where he becomes prominent yet the acting even in that case is stellar. He's already off the deep end at this point when we meet him and seeing this morally bankrupt, deranged, anything for science attitude does still give him a lot to play with and regardless is a highlight. John Hurt love that guy to death probably plays the most laidback and dare I say disruptful scientist not just in terms of creation but just slapping the space-time continuum like it owes him money, yet again it's kind of a testament to these guys acting ability facing this frankly preposterous off the wall material with a straight face that must be admired. Joe doesn't come alone either, getting sucked away into the bleeding time vortex with a car that I can only accurately describe as if the DeLorean and KITT from Knight Rider had a daughter, and he is the most blasè son of a bitch I have ever seen showing it off to anybody, uses it to prove Mary Shelley he is indeed from the future, also shows Victor just for yucks I guess, and is the reason he gets back to....some period of time I don't know which. That whole non-intervention thing you see in every time travel story practically gets taken out back and sodomized with a double barrel shotgun, personified perfectly with Joe flat out banging Mary Shelley. Oh yeah that happens. Do you see what I mean with my opening remark? This might be the biggest fuck you movie to anybody who pays attention to source material, and I kinda love it for that. I don't think anyone has the balls to make a movie on a book and pay barely any heed to it at all in this day and age, but not in a we decided to take a few liberties kind of way and more like I did four lines of cocaine and I just wrote unicorns conquered the moon kind of way. Hell the only slight I genuinely have against the movie is the editing, it's kinda off and feels slapdash in a good few instances and maybe some less than believable ADR work. But other than that, this is fine by me! What did you expect from the asshole who reviewed Frankenhooker? This is a special kind of nuts movie but it's entertaining, I see the craftsmanship to it production wise, I'd rather see something like this than just another plain jane adaptation of the book personally speaking. It has no reservations, it wholeheartedly does it's own thing consequences be damned, and I feel that's very telling of me who I am as a person so simply take it for what it is. Watch it, just give it a go, and make judgements later. 3 stars, 7/10 from me, I need to decompress from this so I will see y'all next week.

The Man With X-Ray Eyes

Not as existential as I thought it would be but still pretty good.

This was one of Roger's more ambitious films with a budget around $300,000 dollars with a large emphasis on optical effects and experimental cinematography, following the experiment of a Dr. Xavier who develops a drug to enhance the human eye. Of course nobody would test it but himself as we watch his spiral downwards from skilled doctor, to carnival attraction, to card shark with an appropriately eerie ending. For a film at about 80 minutes long it doesn't take long for the experiment to occur and it certainly kept me guessing until the absolute end where it would go, and I feel in my bones this is a plot that could be expanded upon in a much more existential and horrific way but the touches we do get while understated are still unsettling. Imagine never having the respite of closing your eyes, imagine light being unbearably painful, imagine seeking peace when none will come to escape the far reaching gaze that pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh. That's a different kind of horror, not quite body horror, not quite cosmic horror, but something people would not want to experience. The movie is carried exceptionally well on the back of Ray Milland as James Xavier, it's almost a performance based on his voice alone which is fantastic by the by, because it's hard to express the scope of such an unnatural power in the eye of the beholder but you can hear the pain and desperation he has. The experimental liquid is akin to a narcotic with him taking more and more culminating in a broken and dazed monologue at the end. I heard he wasn't keen on this movie but he performs very admirably! Diana Van der Vlis plays Diane another doctor brought in to explore the validity of the experiment and I have to give credit that no romance was written in, she's a colleague and a friend to this doomed man who tries to talk reason into him, though not a prominent part she plays it nicely. A surprise appearance by the great comedian and ball buster extraordinaire Don Rickles appears as the carnival manager Crane and my God is he great at playing this money grubbing scoundrel, again not around for very long but adds a unique element to the story and I gotta admit was great to see. The early 60s production gives a nice flair from time to time with set design, costuming, and dance moves but the beauty of the story is it really could be set during any time but the time capsule element is cool. The special effects are really damn interesting, seen entirely from the point of view of James with muddled colors, cross dissolves to see the interior working of man and machine, the choice of contact lenses for Ray, it comes together very dang well for my money. And for a person who has a substantial fear of unearthly eyes I'm happy it didn't freak me out too much but that doesn't mean eyes can't be a fair bit scary still. It's pretty impressive what Roger and the crew accomplished with such a budget during shooting and in post production, but Roger was a wild card in the deck of filmmakers that really did stuff his own way and was cost effective at doing so. It's not one of his most well known movies but it's a neat story that people can enjoy. 3 stars, 7.5/10 from me, and we got one more directorial effort from the great man himself before the week is out so stay tuned.

It Conquered The World

Damn I miss you Roger.

No way I couldn't have a little week dedicated to Roger Corman and no better place to start than a good old fashioned B-movie! Shot in a whopping 5 days this classic staple of goofy monster movie history follows a crashed alien craft with it's pilot slowly conquering...a town and not so much the Earth (hey man they had to get butts in seats somehow) with the help of a resident scientist leading to the military and the scientist's friend to stop the menace. It bears some similarities to Invasion Of The Body Snatchers which coincidentally came out the same year of 1956, and though it's far from air tight in terms of plot and it's absolutely one of those movies where you don't fully see the monster until pretty much the end I gotta admit I didn't hate it! I got involved in the story with the humans and can kinda applaud it for taking some dark cold moments from time to time. The acting is solid across the board, a lot of love was heaped upon Beverly Garland as the evil scientist's wife Claire who is far from a fainting worthless woman, in fact though it would have made the movie only about an hour she has the balls to go charging into the alien's lair with a rifle to take care of business and that is fucking awesome. Best known from shows like Mission Impossible and the host of A&E Biography along with movies such as Airplane, Peter Graves is a pretty solid yet basic lead as Paul. I'm not expecting deep writing in a monster movie but he gets the job done and has a real strong voice that I like listening to. Lee Van Cleef the legend himself plays the baddie Tom and he probably has the best written material viewing the invader as a benefactor and cure to all man's problems even fully knowing it takes over people's minds and has less than altruistic motives leading to many conversations about it. Also shoutout to Dick Miller as one of the army officers, it's always kick ass to see him in any movie whether in a major or minor role! A line that struck me hard in this movie is from Paul during one of the discussions of the wrongs the alien would put to right, "I'd have to take a long hard look at anything that was gonna change the world and me so completely." and man! That needs to circulate majorly in this day and age! Some may point to it as just a cheesy sci-fi movie but I think there's more to it, and it's not an incompetently made film either! The dialogue is good, the setting is basic but has logic, the production values of the sets are believable, and even the alien himself though slightly funny is without doubt a memorable design. Hailing from the planet Venus this red crab-like monster was laughed at even on set with particular shade being thrown from Beverly Garland, and yeah it's not that major a threat or anything but it has charm to it like any rubber suit monster has. Is it a forgotten classic? No. Is it atypical of the 50s B-movie? Yeah. But for a small budget and a run time of barely over an hour it isn't a waste. It's a sure fire recommendation if you're having a 50s monster movie night and you like them on the cheaper side. I give it 2.5 stars, 6.5/10!

Terrifier 3

Ohhhh fuck you!!

I'm too committed now, as much as I was hoping we could shed the sequels beyond #3 I guess Terrifier 4 here we come! I hope they call it The Final Chapter like with Friday The 13th. Alright so, shit where do I even start? Well it's 5 years after the last movie set during the most un-wonderful time of the year with Sienna getting out of a mental hospital and visiting some extended family for the holidays while Jonathan is attending college, but guess who's coming to Christmas dinner? I'll be up front, despite my opening remark I very much liked this film. It has the same quality of filmmaking in all departments as Terrifier 2 but since we follow our leads from before and given how much I loved that movie it's super easy to get invested. Lauren is acting her damn heart out in this movie, thankfully metaphorically than literally, dealing with the abundance of psychosis following such events and having to wrestle with some massive PTSD once her and Art cross paths again. Elliott is in a diminished role but we still get to see that Jonathan has been coping a lot better and get to see him in the college life. But what we lose with Jonathan we gain with new character and light of my life Gabs played by Antonella Rose, who is so cute and is such a respite for poor Sienna that you get attached quick. They do a proper good job expanding on the previously established characters and weaving in the new ones to form a solid plot. Of course Art is still up to terrorizing on a much bigger scale it would seem, with David having more vignettes to clown around in (Slapping my knee folks!) and I gotta admit I appreciate a horror film that holds zero reservations. This movie flat out says, man fuck them kids! They're not getting away unscathed here by a longshot, and I'm just like daaaamn! Is it so morbid though that you can't enjoy it? No you certainly can, from technicals to plot to that accursed cliffhanger. I was livid in that theater when credits rolled, obviously no spoilers, but considering the fact I was that emotional about it means two things, that I'm all in on these characters and that I need retribution because my feels were messed with! Have fun waiting two to four years for that conclusion said Terrifier 3 to me, which I shall reply with: day one you bastard! Now the big question at the moment is do I like it better than the second and I can say no buuuut it's still pretty good and gets a big thumbs up from me. It's kind of a testament to this series that I literally just stepped into it and I'm this dedicated, so clearly there is something there and I'm happy I got to experience this trilogy. 3.5 stars, 8/10!

Terrifier 2

Now we're talking.

Consider me not only a big fan of Terrifier 2, but count it as one of the rare few sequels that are better than the original, and just for good measure goes on my favorites list of modern horror post 2010! I'm honestly pumped for the third movie now and got plenty of questions from the end of this. So we pick up a year since the first movie where we follow siblings Sienna and Jonathan who are our new targets for Art, and when I saw the over 2 hour runtime I was slightly skeptical because of the progression of the first movie but nary a minute is wasted in any shape. This is a finely crafted movie with multiple improvements over the first though even I'll say the first movie was decent and a pivotal stepping stone. The writing is tighter, I loved the characters, the effects are even bloodier and more gross, the quality of the sets and direction are great, and it's surprisingly a movie that gets you in the Halloween spirit. It's almost Trick r' Treat levels with the abundance of costumes, decorations, traditions of creating or buying costumes, the giving of candy, and Halloween parties. It's soaked as much in blood as the spirit of the season. And yeah those effects put the first to shame, showcasing the superiority of practical gore effects that made me flat out go "Eww." many a time but I'm thrilled to announce there's more appeal to this movie than just the stellar effects. I'll admit I did like the characters from the first movie and actually didn't feel the writing was all that bad either, but the characters in this from major to minor I love to the moon and back! Sienna played by Lauren Lavera had my heart pretty much from the word go or rather should I say the creation of her costume and pictures of dragons on her bedroom wall, the girl is 5 feet of badass and is very relatable and extremely likeable, seeing her interact with her friends and her family makes you care and I wanted to see everybody make it out alive but that wouldn't make for a grand slasher film I know. Elliott Fullam as Jonathan had my respect from the get go too, seeing album art of King Diamond and Slayer adorn his bedroom was the right way to get me to like him and that faith was not misplaced, showing an intelligent boy on the cusp of puberty who is deemed a problem by everyone except his sister lending an underdog tone to him. Plus the whole dynamic of siblings against the evil while the parents are none the wiser was a great callback that I missed in cinema. David is on better form than even the last one as Art The Clown, still getting me to laugh loudly while still being a palpable threat with not an ounce of malice missing! It gives way more supernatural edges to his character which thusly makes me want to know more. Plus the score flat out shmacks, couldn't be more my type of vibe! Also I just damn well want to clap at that aspect because way way too many times have I seen a horror movie where the killer is supernatural but nobody else is, and the fact that our protagonists got some magic shit of their own here is downright fucking awesome! The only other examples I can think of off the top of my head is Nightmare On Elm Street 3 and Friday The 13th Part VII, and that aspect made those movies more interesting. It's downright illogical to think otherwise, why should the villain be the only supernatural force? So brava, brava, bravissima! I don't know what the hell happened but this movie hit all the right buttons for me, wellll...okay there were two things I flat out hated but that's just personal taste and not a slight against the movie. 1. A friend of Sienna's said no candy for adults which that sentence alone wanted me to see her d-e-d, and 2. Art gives out candy in one scene but it's that horseshit one piece per person. What the actual hell Art?? Are you kidding me?!! NO! You will not find any of that rubbish at my household! Weird thing to bitch about but I was downright offended at that and you know I'm right in the end. Tangent over, back to the review. So yeah, I was all in on this movie as ot progressed and it didn't disappoint. It took 4 years for this to hit theaters but the wait was worth it, and again applause worthy situation for Damien Leone who made it all happen I mean it must feel like a dream come true at this point. Is it possible for the third to top this? It's a tall ass order I'll admit because I'm giving this 4 glowing stars, 9/10! Easiest recommendation in a while from me. I can fully understand why there's a fanbase now and I can't wait to talk about the next one with you so stay tuned.

Terrifier

So this is the clown I keep seeing.

Art The Clown has been on my radar for only about a year or two, so I attribute that to the fact that the fanbase has only grew and grew since 2018 when this movie came out. Big congrats to Damien Leone of course who created the character and who's helmed the director chair of all 3 movies, and considering this was a super low budget independent horror movie it's all the more impressive. At an estimated budget of $35,000 this is a movie that proves you don't need multi-millions to craft gruesome practical effects or garner a large fanbase. It's the epitome of dirt simple storyline with two friends out and about on Halloween night that get stalked by this wonderfully deranged serial killer dressed as a clown, with more fresh meat for the grinder being introduced as the movie goes on. Now I am aware Art has been around since before even this movie with two shorts films under his belt but I decided just to focus on the trilogy here with the new movie coming out. It's a decent flick, I wasn't expecting groundbreaking material but more a humble beginning for a horror franchise and that's exactly what I got. The independent film style is apparent but I've seen my fair share of lowbudget horror movies and honestly I'm a fair bit impressed with all that they did with 35,000 bucks! Multiple sets, admittedly some are reused but they work just fine with the story. The effects though not lifelike still got visceral reactions from me and are just nasty at times! The acting is actually pretty decent with big time love going to David Howard Thornton and Pooya Mohseni who for my money were grand, but everybody commits and the dialogue isn't too shoddy either. It does make me rather look forward to jumping into the second movie to see if much changes since I have no concept of the production, but I sense it will go bigger and better. There was a point at roughly the halfway mark where I was wondering where the story would go, they kinda pull a Hitchcock on us and I know people will give this movie flak for how the plot progresses and some of the actions by the characters but this is a slasher film at it's beating heart, and you kinda have to accept it. But it can still be good and entertaining even if it does do the tropes. I could roll with the plot, I got grossed out at some of the kills, hell Art could somehow make me laugh now and then, and I'm happy the indie horror genre gets some attention. I give it 2.5 stars, 6.5/10, with hopes for the future.

The Rings Of Power (Season 2)

Elen síla lúmmen' omentielvo.

Soooo how long until that next season? Not that it ended on the cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers but I'm invested now gosh dang it! Is it an improvement on the first season? Well I certainly understand and enjoy the foundations set during the first season but seeing it be built upon did make the experience all the more better. And much like The Acolyte I was delving into the deep waters on social media every week finding great enjoyment in fans of this show, talking theories, praising characters, thirsting the hell over the Great Deceiver, good times! So barely a smidge of time has passed since the forging of the Three, with the elves of Lindon coming to terms with this new power, Celebrimbor forging the Seven with a less than altruistic hand, the dwarves having hardships all their own, Numenor in upheaval, and the Istar seeking answers in faraway lands. The escalation feels just right, we've gotten introduced to these characters so now we get to see them be put through the ringer (ba dum tss!) and go through some tribulations. Galadriel forgoes the tunnel vision warrior and seeks a bit of redemption involving her psycho ex-boyfriend, Morfydd is still bringing it maybe even more so than the last with plenty of intense eye acting to boot. Elrond has become very distrusting and shuns the usage of the Rings but honestly can you blame him over that debacle and a half cause I sure can't, with Robert showing a lot of the hits Elrond is taking and props to him for bringing further warrior credit to this character. Durin faces a crisis in Khazad-Dûm and grapples with parental figures, with Owain's performance and just the overall dwarf storyline honestly making my second favorite plot thread of this season. However number one probably with most other viewers goes straight to Charles and Charlie documenting the forging of more rings and the subsequent fall of Celebrimbor at the hands of the Lord of Gifts Annatar, I would be here all flip flapping week praising this storyline and these performances, a sheer mastercraft of acting in not just fantasy but fiction, giving so many shades of delicious devilry Charlie can dig deep into as Sauron proving the reveal was not just a one trick pony while Charles gives even at a certain point a Shakesperian style potrayal to a pivotal character in this lore. And for a brief moment let's talk Sam Hazeldine as our new Adar, I did enjoy the performance taking on the shape of a more angry and ruthless leader of the Uruks that undoubtedly is markedly different from his predecessor yet it still works well within the narrative and I did wonder if he would live to see another season. While I know the events to come for Numènor to see it all slowly come into place was infuriating but in the right way, with Cynthia, Lloyd, and Trystan delivering almost a straight up political drama in the midst of it all as a struggle for the throne is in effect. I'll admit though obviously there was a point to catching up with the Southlanders, and indeed Ismael, Maxim, and newcomer to the cast Nia have moments that stop it from being uninteresting or filler I know it's more stepping stones for season 3 type stuff. But bless them all the Harfoot storyline was the shortest of all the plot threads which I feel is a shame because I can dig that story and really like these characters, finally giving Daniel the room to stretch his wings and while I can argue against the ending of that segment Markella pulls through all the way still being a ray of sunshine along with Megan in this darker more serious season. I honestly love how the show wastes zero runtime on catching you up, a helpful recap exists but they throw you right into the fire blowing full steam ahead because you know the drill, if you stuck around for part one you're ready to strap the hell in and get seated. It really is a tremendous difference between watching each week and marathoning in one go, which is funny coming from me because technically I did both but having that downtime, that buildup of anticipation, when Thursday hits no matter what comes through that gate you will stand your ground. Oooooohhh boy did we get some, so much in fact it's overwhelming my memory core to name them all! Do I hear lightning in the distance? It's about that time. Opening sequence, holy balls of fire that was something I wanted to see since mentioned in season one and it didn't disappoint for a second! Seeing the rings in action, yes please. Unknown Dark Wizard, you have a fair bit of my intrigue and solid acting as well I'll say! Glüg nation I see you and respect you strongly. Ohh sweet heavens the Ents, the Eeeennnnts, to say I got emotional over trees would be an understatement dear friends. I know I live a Hobbit lifestyle and have far before I knew the words 'Hobbit' or 'Shire', but I can roll with the dwarves man I truly feel I could fit in well there. Disa you still own my heart. I really really want Annatar's robes and perhaps even a dark crown for...reasons. Totally not to woo lady elves. Which by the way Twitter you gotta chill, I haven't seen this much shameless crushing and degeneracy since well, Qimir. But are they wrong about the whole Haladriel thing or even the Oshamir thing? Nnnno! Friggin' Barrow-wights bro, absolutely stellar and terrifying, 10/10! Kemen you little shit I know guns aren't even a thing yet but I want someone to shoot your roman looking bitch boy ass down, or donated to the nearest temple [cough cough wink wink]. All the orc actors, absolute treasures and I will goddamn well clap! Bear McCreary you absolute madman I will listen to the entire soundtrack, starting with the obvious crown jewel of both seasons The Last Ballad Of Damrod, because how could I not. Big time props to whichever writer it was who first go around gave us the Elrond & Durin bromance and this go around gave us the manipulations of Sauron, which by the by I am so sorry if anyone has been through such toxic nonsense. That was the standout pieces of writing for me. And lastly, this is just my opinion so don't turn me into a sword pincushion, best adaptation of a character from page to screen hands down Old Tom Bombadil. I said what I said and I meant what I meant. Same amount of detail and even a larger scope, with a lot more love I think to the costumes with bevvies of elves, dwarves, and orcs present. The special effects and prosthetics are spot on and just overall technical wise it's an improvement in my book. There really was only two dislikes for this show so far, I don't know if they would be considered spoilers but I'll treat them as such anyway. The first which was polarizing for many fans, now do I get it? Yes. Do I understand why? Yes. Does that mean I have to like it? NOPE! The second I felt was just very slapdash writing and lacked proper reasoning as to why a party splits up, maybe I missed something I was in a teeny bit of a rush to get the show done before the other more boring work began so I will endeavor to watch it again but it just felt way off in left field. Otherwise another great season that come last episode made me a feverish mess trying to guess what would happen next, 4 stars easily, 9/10, and we finally get to the spooky goodness next week with a modern horror trilogy so until then. Namárië.

Joker Folie À Deux

I do apologize for the halt in the Rings series, yesterday was indeed a day and I barely got any work done so accept this movie review as my burnt offering.

Madness For Two? Don't mind if I do! If there ever was a word to concisely sum up this movie it would be, ballsy. I mean a comic book musical movie, that is polarizing enough as is! But me being a bit of a theater kid and fan of musicals, my reaction when that tidbit of information was, far out. This movie is one part court drama, one part romance, with a splash of musical and is that everyone's beverage of choice? Of course not, but I'll recommend it anyway. So we pick up not long after the ending of the last movie with Arthur in Arkham getting ready for his court case when he meets musically inclined Lee and a mad romance blooms, with Arthur almost having an identity crisis during the trial that could lead to his death. How on earth do you make a sequel to Joker? The answer is, you go off the rails and do your own shit unapologetically making an already unique movie all the more a beast of it's own. We kick off the movie with a Looney Tunes style short, which is a splendid gauge cause if you don't like that the musical madness ain't gonna do much for you either. Well while we are on that topic how was the music? I didn't expect original composition per sé but the selection of songs they picked were good ones, and there is indeed many a musical moment, and the vocal performances from Joaquin and Lady Gaga worked well. Even the romance while kind of a switcheroo in the Joker/Harley dynamic I found to be interesting and just fine, not super deep but functional. I felt the movie did a very good job proposing the question of is it Arthur or is it Joker? Is there indeed a split personality or is the man also the legend? It's not super involved or has monologues of flowery dialogue, because Joaquin can do so much with his face and before he even meets Lee he's kind of in a rut very much like comatose Joker in The Dark Knight Returns. How the Joker got his groove back would be a fun subtitle. The pacing is good, it gets artsy from time to time which of course my cinema snob heart sings to see, the direction taking in terms of plot is in short bold, and I am almost waiting with baited breath how this movie will be recieved now or a year from now or even a decade from now. 3 stars from me, 8/10, and we cap off the week with the forging of the Seven.

In Retrospect: The Rings Of Power (Season 1)

I'm not even done with season 2 and I can tell you the rewatch is worth it!

Granted almost every single aspect is like a knife twist in hindsight but still a damn good season. I mean for goodness sake if Charlie Vickers and his performance knowing what we know at the end ain't gonna do it for you, I really pity you. It's an eye opener no question about it, and having that foreknowledge of these characters, what they are about to go through, how much more we know about them improves an already strong season. 1st seasons are always setting that foundation to build upon, and while this is far from boring or tedious there was a reason they did this. Hell you could even argue season 2 is a slow burn but we gotta bide our time before we discuss that. Admittedly the dwarf storyline still holds much sway over my heart to this day and is still my favorite, no shock there I know with Rob and Owain putting the work in to make these characters not only come alive but feel like real people. I'll never shut up about them! Got a different read on Galadriel this time too, better understanding the flat out PTSD anger and tunnel vision that certainly didn't impede my enjoyment first time around, Morfydd still rocks and I will continue to say for any brain stem lacking mouth breathers out there that elves are not perfect and not above fault either, the truth hurts princess grow a wang and then sit on it. Adar is still #1 in my heart and while there will be notes on the character in the upcoming review I'll state right now that I really like both performances from Joseph Mawle and Sam Hazeldine, this is no slight against Sam but the emotions and vestiges of light that are seen in Adar are what made him the best character in my book. Still one of the most interesting and faceted original characters in modern fiction for my money. I just can't take my eyes off that norwegian black metal looking elf dude for a second. Also more props to Daniel Weyman as our totally unknown wizard, for a guy who only gets full sentence dialogue in the last flip flapping episode a lot of credit has to go to any actor that has to work with just body language primarily. And of course Sophia, my queen, my light, Disa I'd marry you myself if you weren't already taken even when you get mega Lady Macbeth near the end! I do appreciate also the balancing act of all the plot threads, true the Harfoot story is very much a side quest to the main Galadriel/Southlands stuff buuuut if we're being bold with honesty the whole forging of the Three kinda was last minute this season. Doesn't make it bad, it's just the truth. Mind you the level of detail and the practical effects utilized were a neverending treat to drink in, and ooh Amazon! Amazon! Why the hell are you not selling me merch and props and box sets Amazon! This is your show, I know the estate has to sign off on stuff, but come the fuck on Bridgette! You're sitting on a pile of treasure that would make a mithril vein look like two copper coins. Call me, I got ideas! I'm honestly thrilled to talk about the next season, and it's funny when I heard a Lord Of The Rings show was going to happen I was so feverishly against it until details came out about the setting taking place in the Second Age and I've been having a blast with it all. I've read The Silmarillion more times than I have The Lord Of The Rings so to see these events finally realized in some shape or form is a happy occasion. And I promise not to go apeshit and talk about everything come next review, I shall attempt to restrain myself. Until then my friends!