Punch Drunk Love

This has been on my list for a good few years and frankly it did not disappoint. 

It was great to see another Paul Thomas Anderson romance movie considering how much I adored Licorice Pizza, and I was walking fairly blind into this movie. Adam Sandler plays a businessman with social anxiety named Barry who similar to The Dude himself gets embroiled in this caper, while also meeting this nice lady Lena played by Emily Watson as a odd romance blooms between the pair. It is an interesting movie to say the least, certainly never dull for a moment pretty much from the word go with an opening sequence bordering on David Lynch bizarreness as we follow the day to day life of Barry. This was one of Adam Sandler's first forays into more dramatic acting which from all examples present he actually has a knack for, and while there are moments of offbeat comedy present the movie plays it pretty straight and he is very believable in the role to where I kinda forgot I was watching Adam Sandler! Emily Watson gets a smidge of screentime but I do like the romance that is played up and she is very likable and sweet, and it is quite nice to hear her native accent present. Philip Seymour Hoffman essentially plays our antagonist who has even less screen presence than Emily, but you know what it's Philip he puts in a good performance no matter how small the role is and again it is an interesting dynamic between our main character and the antagonist. It's a romance movie with some sprinklings of other more original plot points that keep it interesting and I think that's really why I like it as much as I do! It's such a horse of a different color and defies all tropes of a typical romance movie akin to Licorice Pizza and yet in an even more bold way. Now if you want a master class on lighting and a cut above the rest in terms of color palette, dear sweet God look no further! There is not a dull or average shot to this movie, with use of shafts of light and lens flares, tracking shots and great use of space, color sequences nothing short of kaleidoscopic and wondering if I was having one of my occasional acid flashbacks, it really did kinda blow my socks off. If that wasn't enough this movie quite possibly more than any other effortlessly got me severely anxious and wound up tighter than a spring, through the sound design and music choices alone, really putting you in Barry's shoes as this maelstrom of shit is happening around him and you feel that ever increasing crescendo of stress and uneasiness rub off on you. That is pretty impressive storytelling. I thoroughly enjoyed it but I know for a fact it isn't going to be for everybody, critically it did pretty well but commercially was considered a bomb but I feel as time has passed since 2002 it's gotten a cult status. It's good enough for the Criterion Collection so it's good enough for me. 3 stars, 8/10, and next time we got another movie that has been on my list since even before the movie hit theaters so stay tuned.

Love Hurts

First rom-com actionsploitation I've reviewed?

Could be! That's quite a few genres to juggle and the movie handles that...adequately. I pretty much knew the movie I was walking into, a fun albeit basic action comedy with our golden boy Ke Huy Quan and that's what I got! Following a realtor who has a shady past that sucker punches him out of the blue he quickly finds his life upturned, an old flame returns, and he has to square off with his brother to gain some semblance of normalcy back. It mostly succeeds in the action part, got a few laughs from me, and I will admit Ke and Ariana are cute at times but there would be tiny changes I would make. I mean the movie doesn't even clock in at 90 minutes with credits so I feel even a slightly longer runtime could make a big difference. I think the biggest detraction is the editing and even then it's sporadic, prime example: in the middle of a fight scene we get this POV shot from inside a microwave as the turntable does it's thing and I think oh wow, a shot I've never seen before in an action movie this is gr-and then they just fucking cut! Odd ass choices like that can have a negative effect. I will say however I somehow liked 90% of the characters and didn't want them to die, yes even the henchmen which is wild and they write them in such a unique way to where you strangely get invested. Like this assassin who writes poetry or this buddy duo where one of the guys tries to get back with his lady friend, it's very original! I very much liked that! It's definitely an action movie first and I will own up and say it actually is really rock solid choreography that even got a "Oooh shit!" moment out of me at one of the falls the stuntguys took, and they even do the thing where this dust cloud puffs up after a hit in true martial arts fashion, so props to them on that. The comedy is more unannounced I guess I could say, it doesn't build up to a punchline or anything it's more just hearing people talk humorously but it sorta works. I wasn't completely sold on the romance angle, a lot of the history between Marvin and Rose is kept off screen and the time they do spend together feels more like kindred partners in crime than romantic opposites but they do have small moments, and it's not really at the forefront so I can't be too harsh on it. Ke Huy Quan is a joy, shocker I know, able to pull off a simple man trying to make his way through the galaxy and asskicker extraordinaire seamlessly, and does not look half bad with a nice suit and a moustache either! Ariana DeBose is decent, she certainly has that off her rocker criminal edge down pretty good and though not really prevalent a lot gets the job done. Hell we see Lio Tipton as one of Marvin's office staff Ashley way more and man, I kept having to shake my head clear cause that woman is a little too similar to Emma Stone like it was fuggin' weird! Pretty fun though and was my second favorite performance of the film! Mustafa Shakir easily is the most well designed in costuming, and as the assassin who writes poetry Raven he gets some flowery dialogue as well as some good action so thumbs up from me. Daniel Wu as our main villain Knuckles is pretty standard (aside from a boba tea addiction) but pulls it off with ease. It's an okay movie, more on the average decent side than cult classic gem in the making, but it's entertaining enough for at least one viewing. 2 stars, 6.5/10, I'll do proper romance films next week for the holiday so see you then!

Conclave

Okay I feel like an ass for not seeing this when it came out. Granted I never saw a poster or even a trailer, only through some preliminary buzz on the interwebs was the movie brought to my attention. And this is truly an interesting film if not for the plot itself, because for lack of a better word this concerns the "business" side of the Vatican, with the plot revolving around the election of a new Pope. I'm guessing from a very ignorant, uninformed, and straight up uncaring point of view that this is information not readily available to the public, I mean I doubt they let observers into the conclave for the voting process. So it is fascinating to watch because it's a very realistic, very humble, very unglamorous window into a religious sect that has existed for nigh a millennia with little rites or even spirituality. Funny to say regarding the cast is entirely composed of the various hierarchy of priests and nuns, but I very much appreciated such notions, with even certain scenes pointing out that the church should be used for worship and not power. Ralph Fiennes is our lead as Dean Lawrence who is essentially the head honcho in charge of the conclave, keeping the event and it's participants in line and the man can clearly play anything bringing emotion and yet unswerving power to the role. Stanley Tucci as Cardinal Bellini certainly had my vote for next pope, bringing a sense of world weariness and self awareness with very progressive ideals that I think many not even of Catholic faith could stand by, plus the guy is just a great actor and it's been too long since I've seen him last in a movie. Our fabulous lady Isabella Rossellini though in a minor role as Sister Agnes has a part to play, and David if you can hear me pull some strings and get this girl an Oscar win just for the hell of it! Carlos Diehz is certainly the outlier in the cast as a newly appointed cardinal pretty much thrown in the deep end head first but is kinda the dark horse of the conclave, and they do some bold stuff with his character but he plays it beautifully. It was surprisingly difficult to get a grasp on what story this was going to be, causeI read the synopsis and at the word 'conspiracy' I was expecting almost this thriller style story and while it does wiggle it's toes in the mystery pool it kinda sticks to this simple story of just electing a new pope, with some political machinations which comes with any kind of vote. I will say the movie looks beautiful, and not just simply down to the extravagant sets or lavish costuming, the cinematographer knows how to use color, they know how to linger on a shot or place the camera in an engaging way. For a 2 hour movie it was flying by and I honestly wanted it to be longer, it certainly wasn't dull or tedious which in and of itself shows the crafting of this movie to be in strong capable hands. Also I attribute that to the score, it is...intense, you could say and knows how to punctuate a scene. Props to the composer Volker Bertlemann! I mean the movie has to be good if even someone such as myself, who isn't religious and actually holds contempt for organized religion was thoroughly invested and easily can say it was a great movie. Shit it got a whole point for just acknowledging and admitting the public facts that a previous pope was a youth in the natzi party and the massive cover up of priests with their choir boys en suite, I have to have respect for just calling that out! But it was super engaging, very well made, has a story that may ruffle some feathers but the status quo needs a shakeup now and then, and I could easily have seen it on my top 10 even if it was in the bottom five. 4 stars from me, 8.5/10!

Companion

Potential top 10 material already? Ooooooohhhh maybe!

Fwack that was exactly my type of weird, and this is gonna hit spoilers of a certain degree so fair warning right now, aboslutely loved it, highly recommended. Okay? Okay. Companion was unfortunately spoiled a bit for me but not through any jackass on the interwebs, but through the second trailer I saw in theaters. Now the first trailer had me hook, line, and sinker I was gonna be here one way or other! But then...dear sweet Sophie turns out to be a fembot and I was pissed hearing that, and indeed the twist isn't kept for long but my God the reaction would be all the stronger had I not known. And yet! This movie still had me guessing, on my toes, and utterly engrossed. Because there's still shady areas where you don't know all the in's, all the out's, all the what have you's with why this group of friends have taken up a lakeside house and what role Sophie or rather I should say Iris has to play here. It takes elements of Ghost In The Shell, Blade Runner, and Asimov's 3 Laws Of Robotics and crafts something original and great. Sophie dear sweet God my girl better get recognition with this role, just her fucking tics and the way her body reacts, c'est magnifique! And yes I was loving every second of her, for lack of a better term, empowerment and where her story goes, just outstanding start to finish. I'm telling you man this was a wild ride! Jack Quaid was bugging me man, I mean not only does he potray the most massive asshole but I kept scrathing my head cause I swear I've seen him before and then I remembered, he was in Oppenheimer. But anywho, I just had a bad feeling about his character Josh after just seeing he doesn't cuddle after a love making session, may be painting in gigantic strokes here but if you don't give a bit of aftercare once done with a bit of hey hey yeah sorry you're a worm and I'm severely disappointed in you. Easy win with Harvey Guillén, he was as fun as always and though not in it long was still great! Props also to Lukas Gage who has quite an arc through the movie to say the least and is far more than just a handsome face. Megan Suri no slam against the actress here, if anything big props for playing a complete bitch, that takes talent more than you think. But it's more how the characters play into the story that makes it super good rather than just the very good cast, and I think you'll have no problem getting invested. Couple that with not super fancy cinematography but we got some solid landscapes and a couple of artsy shots which of course daddy like (in a cinema snob way of course), pretty friggin' good humor that hit my funny bone multiple times throughout, and a pretty bitchin' soundtrack that ends on one of my favorite Bee Gee's tracks. So do I hear 10/10 off in the distance?? The Bee Gee's helped push it farther than I already adore it, I will shamelessly admit. It's been a hot minute since a movie pushed so many of the right buttons for me, I'm kinda amazed. I wanted it to be good, a rare instance of expectation in my career, but it somehow surpassed it by several leagues and a country mile. Of course I'm biased as hell it's my show after all, so just take it all with a grain of salt and if you're feeling super adventurous try a triple feature date night with this, Heart Eyes, and Love Hurts. Thank me later! I really wanna give it a 10 buuut to temper my excitement and love I'll give it 4 stars, 9/10! Still Kino.

The Elephant Man

Certainly went out on a depressing note.

But poetic nevertheless as this was my introductory David Lynch film, and I can even pinpoint to when I saw it last. 9th grade theater class, typical substitute with an interesting twist as he himself played John Merrick for a stage play so we had a good talk about character and the film. Set amidst the dark steam filled streets of London a surgeon Frederick Treves stumbles upon a medical marvel in the sordid freakshow of a circus before integrating him in society, as the movie more or less boils down to a war of attrition between those who would see John Merrick in comfort and peace for the remainder of his days and those suffering worst from the human condition who want him back as an attraction. This probably is the least stereotypical David Lynch movie and yet undoubtedly is the most David of them all, showcasing incredible compassion, love, and respect for what many would deem weird or odd. If you're not even a slight emotional mess by end credits it's time to return your heart and get a new one, even with not really super sad scenes I was bawling, it strikes so many nerves near my heart. I attribute that a tremendous deal to the actors with of course ample appreciation for the script. Anthony Hopkins I know this role may not have seemed all that interesting to you but you deserve a lot of love for your performance, Frederick Treves is a stalwart humanitarian here with a deep sense of care that I feel is sorely lacking in this day and age, and the fact he's flat out willing to fight for John's safety is something truly special. I hold a firm hand when saying this movie would be not much special without John Hurt as Merrick, for a performance buried under rather remarkable and heavily extensive prosthetics my God the man can still do so much maybe even more than the rest of the actors, with intelligence, sterling manners, and a true appreciation for a new lease on life is a wonderful thing to see. Ample love also going to Anne Bancroft, Freddie Jones, and John Gielgud who only raise the acting ability of those around them. The pristine black & white cinematography is a work of art in and of itself, undoubtedly echoing a lot of early monster movies and I don't feel that was unintentional. John Merrick is teased slowly with buildup to the blunt and lack of fanfare reveal like the Universal Monsters, an interesting dichotomy to film a character as monstrous when he is anything but. This also extends to the opposing sides surrounding John as well, with unfathomable heart present alongside the cruellest and lowliest hate. It's a film about as mainstream as David got with a whopping 8 Academy Award nominations, but winning none. An unsung hero to all who aren't familiar with the production, Mel Brooks himself produced the film and wasn't even credited to not diminish the film as a comedy. A human story to the very last, with love, appreciation of art, and an outer shell holding hidden depths undoubtedly makes this a David Lynch film. 4 stars, 9/10, I hate endings more and more with each passing day.

Inland Empire

Okay, I can see the divisive nature now. 

 From the brief research I did on this movie it didn't really start off as a feature length film, rather David got his hands on a digital camcorder and being a director of short films as well just wanted to experiment making little vignettes, but as he kept making more he started forming connective tissue and that's why not only the movie pushes 3 hours but also feels secular. So it's a difficult task to summarize the plot, even the studio had no clue how to market it but from what I gathered a young actress accepts a role for a movie whose script is alleged to be cursed and the lines between fiction and reality blur severely. Which I actually have to admit the movie got me several times where it seems like normal real life stuff is happening and it's revealed they are in the middle of a scene, that was Kino material. But man it easily is the most confusing of David's works and I can actually summarize why: because you can't really interpret it. Eraserhead has theories and ideas from the audience as to what it could mean, Fire Walk With Me has a whole show attached to explore the ideas presented within, but Inland Empire is so out there. Now I myself had one or two inklings as to what the movie could potentially be about, either a potential slam against method actors and how they are always the character no matter what or it shows no matter what walk of life or country you hail from women always have to contend with shall we say less desirable men or as I would call them wretched jackasses who I would punch in the throat. It's an odyssey of a story no doubt about it. I'm fairly sure people aren't wild about the look of the film either, even for myself it was a hard thing to disconnect from but that is strictly because I've seen independent filmmakers, online personalities, and plenty of urban explorers use a digital camera like this. So the slight grain, the handheld quality, coupled with certain sets certainly gave me 2007 Youtube vibes. But I mean truthfully the camera quality may be low, but the production is far from it. We get large sets sometimes lavishly designed, back alleys and streets that look legit on location around southern California, and effectively eerie editing. Casting certainly hasn't downgraded I can tell you that, with Laura Dern even herself admitting not knowing what the movie was about still brings her A level skill to the part and I firmly believe David when he says she can play anything. Justin Theroux back again, great to see him even if the part is more secondary, but his scenes are mere appetizers to the strange and unusual nature of this film. Karolina Gruszka is kinda the one who starts and ends the movie for us, an anomaly to be sure but a good performance regardless. Not much on the musical side of things score wise but I feel that was intentional, really sinks you into the world and has this unease in the silence. Good song selection though when called for, and even in the midst of this almost nonsensical story it somehow I still don't know how made me cry at the end. Now I attribute that more to the song Polish Poem which is an absurdly beautiful song, I'm kinda upset at how wonderful it truly is, but that has to mean something that even after all the madness of the story plays out I can hit those kinds of emotions, and that must be commended. It's probably my least favorite of David's movies but unwatchable it is not and I'm happy to say we just have one more to go before the ranking. 2 stars from me, 6/10, tune in next time for the movie that got David really on the map from then on.

Wild At Heart

Ideas truly are beautiful and abstract.

To say the death of David was a crushing blow would be an understatement, I've never really had a favorite director ever in my life but David easily was one of my favorite people on this planet. And I'm not sure if I have ever reviewed every movie from a director before but we are gonna wrap up David's theatrical films this week. Wild At Heart might honestly be my favorite movie of his, Blue Velvet was great, Mulholland Drive was interesting and complex, and even Eraserhead had strong appeal for me, but this movie for one reason or another has my love more than the others. Following a deeply passionate couple Sailor and Lula, who decide to make a trek to California while being trailed by men hired by Lula's own mom to stop them from being together is a simple but very endearing story. I buy the romance between the two, these young, foolish, sex crazed kids who truly are wild at heart and have a us against the world mentality speaks to me deeply. Of course it has all the wonderful beautiful quirks of David's writing and I was shocked to know it was a novel first, and I think I came up with a satisfactory term for his movies after all this time. David Lynch movies are weirdly engaging, this movie being no exception! The fact alone Nicolas Cage is in a David Lynch movie should be all the reason you need to watch this to begin with, with this swagger and voice almost a breathing return of Elvis Aaron Presley and a persona fit to burst with energy it's hard not to get swept up in the scenes. Same goes for Laura Dern who went against all types and personal restraints as Lula, and I'm not just saying this because she gets nekkid a bit in this movie but she has never looked more attractive and electric on the screen and I adore Tidbit! She really is solid gold in this movie and truth be honest may be my favorite performance of her career. I was a bit stunned to see so many Twin Peaks alumni present here and memory fails me which was coming out first in 1990 but it was a blast to see Sherilyn Fenn, Grace Zabriskie, Jack Nance, and Sheryl Lee pop up for a bit. Even Isabella Rossellini and Harry Dean Stanton are in the cast, you love to see continuity between productions and lord knows seeing friends make movies will never get old to me. The setting around Texas makes a native like me happy and the dust filled empty streets and sun blasted buildings almost give it a modern day western vibe at times. The editing has a lot more emphasis on flashbacks and a strong fascination with flames, which just goes to show no matter how many of David's films you have seen not a single damn one looks or even feels alike but still strangely has that aura where you couldn't mistake it for anyone else's movie. The Angelo Badalamenti score has that almost speakeasy sound to it but can clobber you with eerie punctuation to certain imagery, but it's lovely as always and the music choices are varied and unique. It was a fascinating ride to be on for this and not just because of the horrible news, I really had no clue where it was going but easily had the backs of our two leads all the way. I'm sure this probably is one of David's least talked about films, even though I knew next door to nothing about it but it's kinda leaning on my #1 spot in the filmography. But let me be clear that is a subjective stance and not an objective stance, if someone told me Blue Velvet was objectively the best David Lynch film I doubt I could argue much, but for my money Wild At Heart was just the right kind of engaging, entertaining, and funny that I needed in this time and place in the world. 4 stars, 8.5/10, and next time we touch on the movie that seems to have the most divisive rift of all David’s films with Inland Empire.

Skeleton Crew

I'm late to the party, don't yell!

Lord knows we needed some fun and fancy free Star Wars, and boy howdy did Skeleton Crew hit so many buttons for me! Taking a concept as simple as four kids find a derelict spaceship and get whisked off into an adventure in a galaxy far far away, and giving so so much more than that. I'm honestly stumped where to begin so let's talk cast. Ravi Cabot-Conyers as Wim could not encapsulize a loving Star Wars fan in the universe of Star Wars more if he tried, wanting some adventure in his life and obsessed with tales of the Jedi, his bubbly persona and comedic timing are a joy to watch throughout. Ryan Kiera Armstrong as tomboy rebel Fern is pretty badass assuming the role of captain of the ship and carries a no nonsense attitude that serves the crew well on their adventures, if Wim is the heart Fern is the brain. Kyriana Kratter as tech savvy KB while not getting an abundance of personalized screen time has a killer design, and honestly owns the most emotional scene of the whole show in my humble opinion, and yes she is baby girl and an ace pilot! You know if you've been around long enough on this show how I often say I see certain characters and can imagine my future daughter to be exactly like them? Sirs, madames, and all you wonderful in-betweens on this planet...I have a son. His name is Neel (After Neil Armstrong?), and I'm trying not to be an emotional mess right now. Robert Timothy Smith you are friggin' Star Wars ROYALTY in my eyes! That's my son, that's my boy! So sweet, so thoughtful, effortlessly adorable, charming, and amazing. I would be here for the rest of my life telling you how proud I am and how much I love my little blue elephant son. I would kill for Wim and Fern, I would burn planets for KB, but I would end dimensions for Neel, I won't hear a besmirching remark or pithy comment on any of them. Jude Law as a pirate captain with more names than Sauron himself, but I'll stick to Jod is a right bastard in this show as any pirate should be, and to have an actor with range as broad as Jude Law I knew I was gonna get a really fun good performance and he is absolutely fascinating to watch in this from beginning to end. Wild to think Nick Frost took almost a decade to get into Star Wars since Simon Pegg got in right off the bat in 2015, but contender for best droid in the galaxy SM-33 is quite a stamp to have, and yes I do just call him Smee. Endlessly entertaining, absolute king, made me feel justified saying 'Aye' for the last few years, 10/10! But obviously we get more characters thrown in so I'll highlight some standouts real quick. Brutus, holy great balls of fire that is character design genius having a legacy alien, Shistavanen, been around since 1977, as a pirate with flintlock blasters are you–

Lucasfilm you never needed to go that hard. Kh'ymm wise owl lady, sign me the hell up I'm so here for her and her aesthetic! Pokkit, we got a Disney Princess up in here y'all so thank you Kelly Macdonald for being in this universe, granted you kinda scare me but a scottish accent can make me do crazy things, need more of her. Also shoutout to Jaleel White, stellar to have you aboard as well! In fact all the visual designs and worldbuilding to a galaxy that has a lot already going for it is marvellously handled, ship designs, worlds, use of aliens, lore about the Old Republic hello there! And they don't even really cherrypick elements from the past though occasional nods to stuff like Force Unleashed and Knights Of The Old Republic make a nerd like me happy, they craft a lot of new stuff and I loooooove when Star Wars is new stuff never before seen! Even a pretty decent mystery involving the kid's homeplanet had my interest but was far from my focus. They wanted to make a damn good show and whether or not this is the end or if it comes back for round two, I'm fairly happy with it all! In fact my only source of contention is the ending and that's simply because it was too short, we had climax and falling action but precisely zero on resolution and I felt there were loose ends to tie up. Is my son gonna get his girlfriend or not?? Answer me Lucasfilm you cowardly cutlass! I mean if a show barely over 4 hours total can get me that invested and wanting to know as much as possible, clearly it did something right! This was so much fun, taking a lot of Amblin magic, with ample love of 80s cinema a lá Goonies and such, and weaving it into a storied franchise is not only impressive but very succesful. You don't even really need to know all that much about Star Wars to enjoy it and understand it which my God that's handy! Love the story, love the style, love the characters, love the adventure, Jesus fish Andor is gonna wreck me isn't it? We got some months before that but mother of all that is good and precious it's gonna hit like a burial brick. Until that bombshell I give this series 4 stars, 8.5/10!

The Goonies

I know, I know, took almost a decade to finally get around to Goonies. I was kinda surprised too!

It's funny, I was never heavily nostalgic for The Goonies and while I have seen the movie many many years ago probably before I was even a teen, it still holds up remarkably well! Set in a seaside town a group of friends in an attempt to save their homes from being torn down find a treasure map and against all logic or reason decide to go for it, surpassing traps and capture from a band of criminals hot on their heels for mass amount of booty. Yo-ho! For a movie just a notch over 1½ hours even I was surprised how much time they set everything up before the hunt begins, a good 20 to 25 minutes as a matter of fact which I get! We got a lot of characters here and while they are far from deep are immensely charming and memorable and I could talk about every single cast member truth be told because of how good the performances are and how I really couldn't dream of anyone else playing these kids and it kinda breaks my heart I can't delve into everyone in great detail, so I'll shoutout my faves. Sean Astin my man, I love you my man, has such an innocence and wonder about him at all this stuff even in the midst of a death defying task, easily the heart of the group. Of course I have to shoutout our king Ke Huy Quan, I believe this was right on the cusp of Temple Of Doom and his hair brained gadgets and wild persona was a sheer blast to watch and lowkey honestly has the best look out of all the characters bar none! Jeff Cohen need I really say more, asode from Sloth is the face of this movie in the popular culture and I have to admit he got the most laughs out of me very easily, and I strongly relate to a foodaholic that doesn't want trouble. John Matuszak even though he's not in the movie all that much, Sloth is a beast all of his own and despite the impressive prosthetics showcases a lot of love and fun and you wouldn't have to ask me twice to share some rocky road with him. I have no friggin' clue how they got Robert Davi to be in this because he is a man of intensity and awesome in his acting but it was nothing short of great to see him here. The production is absolutely top notch without a shadow of a doubt, LOTS of intricate and well designed sets, simple but good stunts, and a scale that even the main cast were blown away by when it came to, I shit you not, a fully built pirate ship! Sure there is some blue screen effects but my God this movie has some polish on it that is sorely missing from cinema today! And I guess the saying of "Brevity is the soul of wit" shines through here because it is a simple story with simple characters, but the writing and humor is so good you don't need an inch more than what is presented on screen. The humor often comes out of left field but got good strong laughs out of me at points throughout the film. It's just highly entertaining and no wonder people look at it so fondly and have became big fans of it! Anybody can watch it, anybody can love it, really and truly everyone on that crew deserves the praise. Great cast, solid director, a simple but engaging story, culminating in a film that has stood the test of time admirably. 3.5 stars, 8/10! Ooooh did someone say pirates in space tomorrow? Cause that's all I need!

Flight Of The Navigator

Kinda breaking tradition for our usual lineup with a new Star Wars show but it's worth it.

Been a hot ass minute since we did a Disney live action movie, and a good one at that with the 1986 cult film Flight Of The Navigator. The first thing I gotta say is I was aware of the story albeit briefly so I kinda knew what I was getting into, but say you either walked into the cinemas or caught this on TV with zero idea what it's about. It's a pretty serious in tone movie about a boy in 1978 who awakens in the year 1986 with no memory of what happened and yet looks exactly the same he did when he went missing, and pretty soon a discovery is made of an object not of human design. That's kind of a scary concept and at certain points it was undeniably eerie to the point where I was getting goosebumps. It's a bit of a slow burn movie but because of that we get time with our main character David seeing just how confused and perplexed he is as we the audience are as the puzzle comes together, and it's fascinatingly not a movie with any kind of antagonistic force in play so you really can just sink into this situation. The effects are pretty good for the time with a truly unique alien design at play that as the more you see it the more interesting it gets. Eventually it sheds it's mystery robe and becomes a true fantasy fulfilling film and yeah it goes on for a bit but it's cool and I dig it so no major marks against it! Though I gotta say this might be the only movie I know of that was made in the 80s and references the 80s, from New Coke to music videos, from Twisted Sister to The Price Is Right, that really never happens in cinema from that time period. More often the case is the movie itself is the time capsule. But I gotta admit it had my interest, it was fun, I like seeing faces of actors like Paul Reubens, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Veronica Cartwright which were surprises to me! It's far from even on the live action side of Disney's catalogue, a great movie but I think you can get into it. If nothing else the film is proof you can be a Disney movie and still say and I am quoting here: shit, goddamn, and retard. It was a wildly different time my friends! 2.5 stars, 7/10, more 80s goodness coming your way tomorrow.

One Of Them Days

Perhaps unconventional for my regular interests but the trailer got my interest.

Needless to say I was thoroughly entertained throughout and while not bust a gut hilarious certainly had humor that hit for me. This is the city, Los Angeles California, where we meet two friends Dreux and Alyssa (who my little white boy heart was crushing on something fierce) rooming together who when oopsie daisy the guy Alyssa was dating turns out to be a bastard and robs them blind on the very day they need to get rent paid leading them on a comedy of errors to get the dough and keep on livin'. And I haven't heard that term 'comedy of errors' in quite some time but it's the perfect way to describe the plot, cause these poor girls cannot catch a got damn break around here with several ideas both good and bad to garner some monies. Now the only thing I felt iffy on was there were 3 instances where the comedy got outlandish, girl runs mach 3 into a car door and brushes it off, guy nearly gets busted through a wall due to steam, electrocution at one point but the rest of the movie is pretty grounded, and you either commit or you're wishy-washy. Beyond that though, I had a lot of fun! I really love our two leads, Keke and SZA effortlessly slip into the roles as best friends and their dynamic ans character identities are a great mix, with Dreux being planning, career driven, and practical whereas Alyssa is more aloof, cosmically inclined, with a firm belief that all will naturally resolve in the favor of a happy ending. And because of that they bicker and headbut like rams but their's is a bond tempered like steel, and you easily want them to succeed! Dreux is trying to get a much better paying nicer job in the midst of all of this and I was rooting for her since minute 1, and who the hell would want to see people get thrown out on their asses to the curb anyway? Yet I feel the way the plot progresses skirts the situational comedy label some might deem it to be, the girls go to a blood bank for some cash let's see how it gets wacky, no it just so happens to blow up in their faces with a little help from the supporting cast. And I'll give props, each side character is easily understandable with defined traits that adds to the world the movie creates which takes a bit of inventive writing to make happen. Whether it be Keshawn the dumbass boyfriend, Mama Ruth one of the neighbors with a snack hustle (mad respect to you), Berniece who's kind of always off her rocker and ready to beat the hell out of someone, or Lucky the resident street walker everywhere but nowhere trying to keep people out of trouble but never listened to, easily memorable characters. And the humor is not joke a minute or complex, often times it kinda hits you like a sucker punch to the nose outta nowhere which I like cause it keeps you on your toes. It's a fun if slightly ridiculous movie that probably will slowly but surely garner more fans in the future, and I'm one of them! Real plot, fun characters, good humor, it didn't take long for me to get into it. 3 stars, 7.5/10, go to the movies today for some discount popcorn and everyone have a great day!

Wolf Man

Okay, decent start to the year!

Now am I just a little tiny bit of a Universal Monsters fan? Well I'm the only critic who actually liked Sofia Boutella's The Mummy so you could say mayyyyybe, but fanboy or not this was an interesting movie. I'm sure people will do what they do best on the internet, bitching and moaning, about how fundamentally different this iteration is but I got news for you nightshade if you want a classic werewolf movie I recommend gazing at the last 90 years of cinema! It's 2025 mothertruckers they gotta do something original, and original is what we got! Set in a remote area of Oregon a father, mother, and daughter traverse to a very isolated farm to gather and sort the effects of a dead relative, but on the way get thrashed by a rabid animal that stands on two legs and pretty soon poppa ain't looking so good. Now the crux of this movie believe it or not is a drama with horror elements, and if you can stretch your disbelief more it...actually kinda works. We spend enough time with this family unit to get to know them, their dynamic, and and their feelings before we even get to the mist filled forests of Oregon and the slow transformation of our main character takes the tragic lens of werewolves to a whole other level and area. And some would argue it takes away all the mysticism of werewolves, equating it more to a disease akin to zombies but I don't hold any grievances with that! There's no shot of the full moon, there's no full on transformation sequence, there is barely a body count, and yet! Despite it all is an enjoyable film. Now I had a smidge of faith due to the director Leigh Whannell who also helmed The Invisible Man which I loved to the moon and back, and that fluid tilting camera style mixed with some pretty slick cinematography especially when we get more or less "wolf vision" carries over. It's a very good looking yet seemingly low budget film, hell the vast majority of the movie takes place between three locations that are throwing distance from each other and a very minimal cast, so I feel it could potentially make some profit. Christopher Abbott and the relationship with the daughter played by Matilda Firth singlehandedly made me want to see everyone make it out, and God bless him for going through the painstaking process of prosthetics! Julia Gardner also nails the emotional state from grief stricken to survive no matter what, and you could make an argumemt the movie is more about her than Chris but I'll leave that for you to decide. The actors didn't slack, they commit and wanted to give some dimension to a monster movie and coupled with the script and direction, I feel they succeeded! It's a modern reimagining that doesn't look down on the original or try to surpass it, but take it down a different avenue with a unique story. I respect that, I can recommend it too. 3 stars, 7/10, thumbs up from me!

The Wolfman

We're really keeping it in the family this week.

I've been aware of this version for some time perhaps even since it's release back in 2010, and by all accounts it seems a miracle I was able to watch it at all. It's very worthy to note this was a tumultous project to even get off the ground beginning in 2006, filming completed in 2008, but the film didn't get released until two years later with a constant search for a director and yet through it all come hell or high water Benicio Del Toro was going to be in this movie. That's some commendable ass behavior that seems rarer than a blue moon these days, he even had a producing credit, with great affinity for the 1941 original so a passion project this absolutely was for him. Taking place in 1891 England actor Lawrence Talbot returns to his home in light of his brother being murdered, and upon investigation is marked by the very creature that eviscerated his relative, leading a great many to hunt him down. This is undoubtedly a movie on it's own, yes it has sprinklings of references to The Wolf Man but ultimately does it's own original story throughout which is commendable. Being a period piece it's staggeringly accurate to the time and every penny can be seen on screen, with multiple effectively atmospheric shots in the forest that look beautiful at times, almost creating a canvas of gothic horror in a landscape where such a thing was as antiquated as the time period itself. The acting is decent, they are commited to the roles and while nothing big or bombastic is presented I appreciate the efforts all the same. Benicio is a solid leading man and big time props for him going through the special effects makeup which reportedly took 4 hours to complete, which also means brownie points for not going full CG all the time and only is used when necessary. This is one of Anthony Hopkins' more subdued performances yet even then it's easy to get involved with his character. I do believe this is the earliest film I've seen of Emily Blunt probably before she became famous and indeed it took me a hot second to recognize that was her, and she probably has the most pathos of all the characters. Again took me a brief second to recognize Hugo Weaving as an inspector who already has Lawrence pinned for the murders, and while he isn't in the movie much he does solid work and is a good opponent for Benicio to play against. I will say straight up hands down, easily the most gory and bloody werewolf movie I've ever seen and that's to be expected with special effects master Rick Baker on the production, and coincidence if ever there friggin' was one Rick won an Academy Award for best makeup for two damn werewolf movies, this one and An American Werewolf In London. Do not ask me how that works, the universe is a funny thing. Yet with all the positives present there's always gotta be one negative that keeps rearing it's ugly head, and I fully blame this on when the movie was made. God...damn it this movie is packed to the ever loving gills with jumpscares, predictable as shit, and drags the rating down because of it! I hate it with a passion. And from what I've seen the reception couldn't be more down on the movie, and while I'll say it's just okay maybe others can get more out of it than me. Clearly there are positives to be seen, but the scare factor is tired and the story and script probably needed just a tiny bit more polish to be really good if not great, but I can still say I'm happy I saw it. 2 stars, 6.5/10, let's hope for better tomorrow!

Werewolf Of London

Welcome to the world's first werewolf movie.

Not a bad way to kick off the new year at all! Released in 1935 during Universal's first horror cycle Werewolf Of London centers on a botanist professor who uncovers an extremely rare plant in Tibet before being attacked by someone or more something, and upon returning to London he soon finds he has a strange reaction to moonlight. Now obviously the legend of lycanthropy has been around for some time before this movie and indeed it is a more humble telling than the infinitely more popular Wolf Man film from 1941, but it's still pretty good. Henry Hull as Wilfred has a smidge of the tragic curse that later would be given a much wider breadth with Lon Chaney Jr., but the performance is almost more akin to a Jekyll and Hyde situation where he's a very high class well dressed and spoken man, but when the wolf form takes shape and actually looks pretty awesome I'll say he wears more simple shabby clothes wandering the dark streets of London with a desire to kill yet still walks and acts like a human. It's interesting to see how it began before the trope evolved. Another excellent example of the movie is Warner Oland probably best known to film buffs as Charlie Chan in the early 1930s who plays almost a Van Helsing type character who is familiar with the legend of werewolves and seeks to help the afflicted professor rather than destroy him, he has such a great presence and I find it a crying shame he passed away in 1938 because from what I saw he was a very good actor. Valerie Hobson was a pleasant familiar face to see as Wilfred's wife Lisa, and I gotta say for a 1930s movie she is not at all a damsel or weak willed woman she says what she wants, does what she wants, and is taking no nonsense from man or woman which was great! The look of the film is simple but effective, there's no sprawling sets but each is distinctive and fits that grimy seedy London atmosphere which contradicts nicely with the more swanky socialite gathering homes of the high and mighty. Though mind you it does not take a positive light to any single one of the sharp dressed rich, really painting them as vacuous and idiotic for some light humor. In fact the only real criticism I can give the movie is we spend just a little too long focusing on these ancillary characters instead of say Wilfred or Lisa, the film has brief tangents so I think they were still ironing out their scripts. I mean hell at this point the vast majority of Universal Monster movies were based on literary previously established works that they didn't need to tinker with much, so it's a small complaint. Definitely a minor classic in this catalogue but for lovers of monster movies it's another fine addition to the collection. I give it 2.5 stars, 7/10, and we're jumping 75 years in the future tomorrow so stay tuned.

Top 10 Films Of 2024

New year, same old controversial top 10.

10. Dune Part Two — Ohhh I did it again! I do promise we'll do an In Retrospect later this year on the whole damn thing. Solid first entry for the list regardless.

9. The Fall Guy — Nothing but fun and entertaining. Ryan you got me again buddy!

8. Wicked — Despite the minor grumbles I had this easily was the big event movie of the year that not only dipped below my radar but crept up on me in no time. Ace!

7. Godzilla × Kong — Of course I gotta put this on here, kaiju lover that I am. Outrageous, silly, but undeniably up my alley.

6. Alien Romulus — Ooh hoo we're getting good now! A much much needed breath of fresh air in the space terror franchise. Fingers crossed for some continuation.

5. Nosferatu — Horny my ass! Dark, gothic, even slightly romantic certainly fits the bill more here. Seems to be a home run for most people anyway

4. Monkey Man — The most unexpectedly grand action movie I've ever seen in my life, and would easily love to see again. Nobody talks about it but everyone should see it. Solid gold.

3. Lisa Frankenstein — If this movie was further up my alley it would be inside of me. Lavish, hilarious, and a grand slam directorial debut in my opinion. Call me a fan.

2. Heretic — Wasn't even slightly aware of where this was going but I could not have been happier seeing it. This is one of those movies people will discuss for years.

1. Rite Here Rite Now — Yeah, I knowww! Concert movie, nichè, totally biased. Welcome to the show everybody! Don't care at all, absolutely loved it, super proud to own it, take me to church Papa!

So hail Satan (or Santa if you're dyslexic), and I'll see you soon for some unexpected horror goodies to kick off the new year.