Sonic The Hedgehog 3

Best of the series?

I do genuinely think it is the most fun and entertainment I've personally had at one of these movies. They did have me sold full truth here since the end of the last movie on Shadow alone, so I was very much looking forward to this. And if you've seen the trailer you know the gist, Shadow has escaped containment and is battling team Sonic (cute reference) while Robotnik meets his long lost grandpappy as they command a doomsday weapon. Solid plot for a video game movie, and speaking as an individual who has really only played five Sonic games, Sonic 1 & 2, Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, and Sonic Heroes but has beat precisely zero of them I loved seeing all the easter eggs and especially Shadow's backstory seen on the big screen. Since we already know most of the players let's talk about our new arrivals. Keanu Reeves though not my immediate first choice for Shadow conveys everything you need to know and does do a damn fine job juggling the heartbreak, rage, and initial confusion to his origins in the flashback scenes and it was absolutely awesome to see so many nods to his character from the games, motorcycle and guns included! As for Robotnik Sr. I was very surprised to see him as the true threatning villain, sure he has his moments of humor but at the end of the day he is a serious villain and I applaud Jim for being able to bring both sides to the table, plus the guy is a manipulative bastard and it like works too and doesn't feel slapdash in the writing. Commendable! I'll add on a brief opinion of seeing Sonic actually buckle the hell down and get serious even vengeful was a good move and added more to his character. I was hoping and praying they wouldn't do the thing, I didn't say anything cause I didn't want to jinx it, but they can't let a trilogy be a trilogy. Granted it was even I'll admit a great mid credits scene but come on! We went out on a relatively high note, with multiple instances of goosebumps at the climax, it's a solid made film with very good production values, the writing and humor still worked for me, it did what every sequel should do, and I was very happy to see it! We had a pretty healthy attendance at the screening and hearing the kids get so excited seeing stuff like Shadow and the Chao's while also laughing at Jim Carrey put me in a good mood. Thumbs up from me, 3 stars, 7.5/10! And next week is the end and what more of a perfect day to end it on than Christmas, at least it'll be a spooky Christmas...

In Retrospect: Sonic The Hedgehog 2

Alright I've made a bit of peace with it.

See this is really why I do these In Retrospects and honestly it's been a hot ass minute since the last one but it was time to watch Sonic 2 again. Yeahhh it still kinda has a tangent issue even if it's a relatively small one, but the plot does keep moving and while the human characters aside from Robotnik could have been written and utilized differently, they don't ruin the movie. The Hawaii stuff no doubt was compared to the Canto Bight scenes from Last Jedi, but like that sequence it isn't terribly long and isn't boring either. The dynamic between Sonic and Tails is really nice, the fragile alliance with Eggman and Knuckles is interesting to watch, the eventual shift with Knuckles makes sense and I like the fact he has the personality of an honorable warrior. Let's just be on the level right here right now, this is a movie for kids and that's exactly what they delivered so I can make a fuss or simply acknowledge that despite my big kid heart it doesn't all work for me and that's fine. I mean yeah, Jim and Idris are still undoubtedly the highlights of the film but that's not a besmirch on Ben and Colleen who still commit fully to the roles! I'll be interested to see if Sonic gets a bit of a character arc in the 3rd movie to go from a fully comedic hero to having a severe sense of seriousness that can be seen progressing film to film. I don't really want to trash talk the effects, because they're not bad at all but it is easy to see the strings as it were, but how else would they have implemented the game's art direction otherwise? We get to see so many nods to the games shown faithfully and with love, so I couldn't possibly give it good grief. Loved seeing the Chaos Emerald and super saiyan Sonic (Try saying that 3 times fast!), the various Robotnik robo-transports, a flat out Sega Genesis instruction manual, that's great stuff! One minor quibble that I just can't let go is, if you take the time and more importantly the money to buy the rights for songs why in the holy love of fuck are we just playing 30 seconds of it?? Just play the damn song! I want Robotnik's world domination playlist you sum'bitch, if frick fraking Walk by Pantera is track #1 you damn well better give me more! And yes I fully headcanon Eggman is a thrash metal kind of guy. Odd thing to bitch about but I go on weird tangents myself, so game recognize game. It's a decent video game movie and that's all I really needed from it. Will Shadow, my favorite Sonic character by the by, elevate this series and could we have a banger of a film hit this Friday? I'd be a happy camper if that was the case! So I'll bump up the score a notch to 2.5 stars, 6.5/10! And apologies in advance for not getting a review out for the Knuckles series, I do not have every streaming platform under the sun and frankly never will so I'll see you later on this week.

Three Thousand Years Of Longing

Not at all the movie I thought it would be but I'm still happy.



I can't recall when I first saw promotional material for this film, and even then I only saw it once but I knew this was going to be a movie for me so here we are. What a fascinating little film! I truthfully thought the concept of Tilda Swinton playing a literary scholar named Alithea based solely in science and fact coming into contact with a djinn a wish giving creature of fantasy played by Idris Elba was pretty cool, and I figured the film would almost be this battle of religion and science but in a very intellectual and and thought provoking way. What I got was a still regardlessly interesting blossoming romance movie where the vast majority of it is with our two stars sitting in a room talking and telling stories. Doesn't sound far off from skull caving boredom, but it couldn't be anything farther from that! The devils are in the details and how the both literal stories of the character's past and the progression of the plot are what keeps it engaging. Of course Alithea finds it hard to believe despite physical evidence to the contrary that this mythical being has emerged in her hotel room but they quickly disband a lot of rebuking and denial that the djinn can't actually exist and move onto a few questions of his existence which leads to his history. Beautifully directed by George Miller, he of the incalculable Mad Max Fury Road fame, it's a visually striking and filled to the brim rich environment of scenes, with interesting camera work, slick editing, and colors galore as we follow his origins from the times of King Solomon to present day. Now on one hand I can easily see this movie not grabbing people's attention as firmly as it did mine, it's almost ludicrously simple in concept with more or less monologues abound of past histories formed as stories, yet I feel that is entirely the point. The movie really leans hard on the concept of stories, of tales, of legends and what humans get out of it and what they see in making such things, hell the only media I've seen that holds similar standing on the concept is The Sandman comics. It articulates itself very well, better than I can honestly find words to describe it myself so I do suggest people give it a go. It's not even 2 hours long, and while the movie has more fades to black than Return Of The King (my only slight complaint about the movie period) I found it easy to slip into this world, hear the tales, get invested in our characters, and did wonder at exactly how it all would end. It's a strange but neat little interesting story that I'm very happy to have seen. I personally give it 4 stars, 8.5/10, and while the idea that we're all just stories in the end has been in my mind for some time this movie actually reinforces that just a little bit more.

Sonic The Hedgehog 2

See this is why we go back and watch things again, just so you know how good you had it.

I wanted it to work, I wanted it to be good, I enjoyed the first movie a good deal and had zero clue what this movie was about. No trailers, no TV spots, fully blind watching, and booooy did a good chunk of it fall so flat for me. It's not even bad, there is undoubtedly parts I vastly enjoy in this but there is a lot of unnecessary stupid bits. Which you would think a story that involves Sonic and Tails vs. Robotnik and Knuckles in the race for the chaos emerald wouldn't be that difficult to make good, and in fact when the story focuses on those dynamics and the actual story it's fairly fun and enjoyable. However. This script is such a mess that desperately tries to have set up and payoff but fumbles it so bad and it wasn't even as funny as the last one. For instance they take James and Tika out of the movie, they're off to Hawaii, cool but a bit tropey, so now the story can focus on Sonic and Tails without our humans being in danger. Nope. An extended sequence of the film takes place in Hawaii with our humans who albiet are still cute as hell together but this movie goes on tangents. I thought Halloween Kills got sidetracked. Naw good friends, this is sidetrack the movie for a good chunk of it. But when we get back on track and see Robotnik and Knuckles scheme, or our dynamic duo finding clues to the emerald it works fairly good. It's super difficult to fully judge it because there is plenty I love, and more than enough of stuff I felt was unnecessary, idiotic, slightly pandering, and just eh. This is a movie that falls in the middle, it's not bad but not that good. So what did I like about it? Voice cast is still doing good, I like Colleen as Tails, Idris Elba is still my king and is easily the best part of the whole damn film, Jim is still fun to watch, I like more of the video game lore they bring in and incorporate into this world, hell even the cliffhanger gives me some hope they can regain their footing and give us a good 3rd movie. But it just is okay, 2.5 stars, 6/10 for real this time. Kind of a bummer for the end of this week so I might have something up my sleeve to try and go out on a good note.

In Retrospect: The Suicide Squad

King Shark is the king of my heart.

Yeah it was fun watching this again in all it's bloodsoaked, gruesome, humorous glory. And I feel I got more out of it the second go around, now that I know all the big stuff I can see the little details. I mean I praise the cast day and night, but dang Margot Robbie has a great little monologue that honestly says more about Harley than anything we've seen in live action. Daniela Melchior has stolen my heart and probably the internet's too, forever being my precious ray of sunshine in this film, she's absolute class 10/10! I do feel ashamed I wasn't party to Idris Elba's acting much before this because my man, my man, I love you my man. But dude James Gunn you are a bastard, you killed Savant who really struck me as a great character and one who I was quickly rooting for and Michael Rooker plays it perfectly. You did have the balls to drop Captain Boomerang and Rick Flagg, and you have my respect for shaking things up. But....how f***ing dare you kill Polka Dot Man. I am never getting over this, the shittin' Weasel lives but my guy dies? Because the second I heard we were getting Polka Dot Man I was ecstatic, and proves once more why David Dastmalchian keeps getting work at DC, because he rocks! And I knew, I frick fraking knew he wasn't gonna make it too, when I saw in the trailer of him triumphantly shouting with joy "I'm a superhero!" I was like well he's about to get shot in the head right after saying that. Asshole. I'm not actually mad at James for doing that, if anything I highly applaud the team here for getting me to care so much about these characters to begin with. I cared enough for the first Squad with Deadshot and all them, and appreciate both films for taking the time out to have emotional moments with these characters period. I dig the style and tone the movie has going for it, almost edging towards Tarantino tribute to 70s cinema but with it's own unique flair to it. I'd still say it's a great movie and clearly has the rewatchability factor to own. So the verdict still stands, 4 stars, 8.5/10. It's never a bad day when you watch a DC movie....except for The Killing Joke. Worthless bitch. And on that joyous remark it is time to end, and pray for me. I beg of you.

The Suicide Squad

Better than The Dark Knight? No. Damn good movie? Yes.

It's probably the most light hearted romp with a hard R rating I've ever seen in my life, juxtapositioning gnarly brutal gore and violence with light comedy and fun characters. The story follows two teams of Task Force X as they are sent to the known DC locale of Corto Maltese to investigate and shut down a government operation known as Starfish as the body count rises and we get to see good adaptations of DC characters both returning and new. Now I still stand by my review of the 2016 original, I still like it, I felt the studio should have kept it's big noses out of a director's work, but it is a movie I enjoy and would call good so this is not devolving to a, well clearly the new Suicide Squad movie is better than that trash. F*** yourself! They're two different movies and both are fine. Granted this one feels strangely a lot similar to the first movie and yet so different. It's heavily stylized, the camera work is more intricate, the blood factor is almost comical in it's excess, and each character gets a good smidge of backstory and personality. It could easily be seen as it's own thing but there's lots to connect it to the first which I like. While I couldn't bash the casting of the original hard, this one is mighty spot on giving the actors to make the character their own and not just feel like they are playing a character in a tight box. Margot Robbie is still royalty, Idris Elba is and has been the man, Daniela Melchior is my moon and stars in this movie, David Dastmalchian is mighty good but I still lean heavily towards his Calendar Man performance, and Sylvester Stallone as King Shark easily was the best character of them all. Yes even above Harley, he's that good, I said it. But even the side characters like Viola Davis, Peter Capaldi, and Michael Rooker were all great. The story is linear and might not make much sense when you break it down but I can truly see this as a movie people will watch again and again. The effects I felt were really good, maybe not enough practical gore but that's a small gripe, King Shark and Starro look good and have spot on textures plus they just have fun with it. I also feel the comedy was balanced, it could have a serious moment, it could have action without a comedy beat, this movie flat out says f*** your feelings they'll kill anyone without hesitation, and I know there will be some jackass chucklehead who will just say, oh it shows how bad the DC movies are that they have to take MCU directors to make their movies better, to which I reply with a quote from the movie "Eat a big bag of dicks." and f***ity bye. It's really good stuff, despite the fact they killed nearly every character I liked a lot so the verdict is .5/10. I'm just kidding, it upsets me but I'll get over. 4 stars, 8.5/10, this will be the last new movie for a bit but there's always stuff to talk about. Be good people.

Thor: Ragnarok

Best of the Thor trilogy? Yeah.

It's easy to get swept up in the spectacle that is Thor Ragnarok, it almost gives Guardians Of The Galaxy a run for it's money in terms of color, visuals, and scale. It's been kind of a rough patch for Thor in this one, Natalie Portman gets booted offscreen permanently, Odin passes on into the Force and his ridiculously gorgeous daughter breaks Thor's mighty hammer, and Asgard is on the brink of total destruction. And the Hulk proves why he is the strongest Avenger. The Thor movies have definitely went on an upward spiral, with the first being average at best, the second one being quite good, and the third being really dang good which is nice to see. It has a great mix of being pure entertainment and actually telling a story. Hela is a very good villain, which I mainly attribute to Cate Blanchett because she is amazing in this role, I've never been more terrified and yet attracted to someone in my life. She hits that spot where Ultron should have been, a force to be reckoned with, the humor I felt actually kind of works for her when it occassionally pops up, and the threat she poses makes for an interesting story since she is Thor's sister. It's such a nice experience to see villains I actually care about and genuinely intrigue me and keep me invested. Why did it take so long? Chris Hemsworth while not at his best still delivers a very fun, very good performance and the same goes for Tom Hiddleston as well, and the chemistry still stands strong between them. We finally get Hulk back, fully talking and all, we were on the verge of greatness we were this close to a Hulk movie. Still fully proves why Hulk is the best hands down. And though I harbor zero ill will or contempt for Tessa Thompson, I hate this character. I hate this character with the passionate fury of a million red giants, you know what character I despise in movies? The smarmy, cockshore, arrogant f***stick who thinks they're hot shit when really they need to be crushed under the boot of the villain in 2 seconds flat. Enter Valkyrie. I'm not going further, because I don't want to break anything. The last thing I'm saying on that matter is if I don't see her turn into a pile of ash in two movies time, there will be severe hell to pay. Really beyond her, I very much enjoyed the movie. I liked the whole arena planet ruled by Jeff uh Goldblum, he was a lot of fun. Of course more Hulk is always a good thing, and once again Mark Ruffalo deserves his own movie, make it happen you monopolistic corporation. I simultaneously appreciate just how balls to the wall the visuals and action and tone are, yet also wish there were more character moments and time to let events sink in. Nevertheless I did like what they did with Thor in this movie. The soundtrack is very synthesizer which you think I would unashamedly love, but none of the tracks really hit me too strong. It certainly fits that comic book movie fluff category, but even then it's not bad. It tries to tightrope between fun adventure and serious story and kinda succeeds, but it works in it's own little way. 3 stars, 7/10, I doubt I would buy it but I wouldn't mind watching it on cable when the time comes. We're returning to Wakanda tomorrow, and the end is almost near.

Thor

Strike two!

Okay, it was slightly better but not by all that much. Thor is a passable movie, it sets up the lore and characters we'll see time and again no doubt in future films, but there were things that irked me. Positives first, Chris Hemsworth can act when necessary I mean he has that bravado and strong prescence but when Loki lies about his father's death Chris actually does really good work. I love the aesthetic and design of Asgard, though it reminded me a bit of Gallifrey. I think Sif was the most interesting and cool character but she didn't have much to do. And I have to say Tom Hiddleston delivers a strong first outing and I'm genuinely curious to see how he evolves through the series. But that's about it. Now the story is sort of middle ground not much good and not much bad, with Thor disregarding his father Odin's wishes and starts up a real shit storm with the Game Of Thrones looking Frost Giants, that gets him banished from Asgard and stripped of his powers. What then follows is a lot of meandering on Earth as apparently Thor's strongheaded, vain, and totally egotistical persona gets mellowed out in 2 days by hanging out and making eggs with Natalie Portman, with little interesting character motivations or history from any main players during this time on Earth while Loki crafts and decieves his way to the throne of Asgard which is a way more interesting and entertaining story. I'm sorry, but I am so not a fan of fish out of water stories, and the movie doesn't even clock in 2 hours with credits but it feels a touch padded. The action is serviceable, the humor didn't do much for me, and the characters were more miss than hit. Now do I like the mythology of the nine realms and how everything is connected? Yes, but this movie didn't come up with it you know. I'm a bit rusty on my Norse mythology but I appreciated the terms and references in dialogue that I caught. This director though, ugh this director is ass. If I had a damn dollar every single time this movie had a dutch angle in it, I would have enough money to live on for the rest of the year! I felt like I was right back in Battlefield Earth, not a good f***ing move, but please continue to take notes from it. In fact I feel I should quote a much better film critic because it feels so appropriate, "The director has learned from better films that directors sometimes tilt their cameras, but he has not learned why.". It was so goddamn aggravating! Put the f***ing camera on a flat level plane, it does not give your movie substance, it does not give your movie style, you look like an utter twat! 2 stars, 5.5/10, if I think Reb Brown is a better Captain America than Chris Evans I am done with these movies.

Pacific Rim

Oh boy did I call this one all those years ago.

Pacific Rim....has issues. I know, blasphemy! You're saying, "But Dude, it's a movie where giant mechs punch kaiju! How could you of all people not love it??". Well I'm glad you asked person in my head, and I'll tell you. It's not so much the concept, it's fine but more the details of the world. Time for backstory! In 2007, several kaiju have appeared from a dimensional rift in the pacific rim and have cause countless death and destruction, in response the government creates an army of war mechs to battle the monsters for years and years to come. Flash forward about 5 years where we meet one of the pilots returning to the field after the death of his brother to fight the kaiju once again! That is a synopsis, but as I said the devil is in the details. Now the minute I saw you needed two people to practically be synchronized fighters to pilot this mech, I had several questions and found it to be utterly stupid. I was correct, and I got not so great answers. So why does there need to be 2 pilots? Well the strain of piloting a war mech apparently is in the vein of Neon Genesis Evangelion because a single pilot can be overstrained and die due to mental breakdown and exhaustion. Yes, their brains turn to soup if they pilot a robot alone. Okay. So how do the pilots sync up to perform a single action? Mind meld. I....Jesus H. Christ on the bloody cross. This is the detail that breaks the movie's back! It's not like in Power Rangers where 5 people control all the limbs which made sense, they needed to communicate to coordinate attacks. There is so much bullshit to this system I need to rant, so get ready. It's gonna be loooong. This is so stupid I cannot believe it. You need 2 people to pilot a war mech, because one person cannot take the mental strain....? It looks purely physical, I don't think you need much brain capacity to pilot such a machine. Just as long as you know how to fight and know the controls, you're good! But no! You need 2 pilots to sync the same movements to pilot this thing! What?! The robots can't even kick! They are essentialy rock em' - sock em' robots, because all they can do is punch or shoot! And then there is the mind meld thing! You need two people, mainly siblings to pilot this thing because they need to have a "connection" through memories and experiences. So you can't even get a regular kind of anybody to pilot these things because they need to have shared memories and experiences. I am facepalming, and it hurts! So if say one of them died, well tough cookies we gotta get someone else! The slightest bit of thought and the movie comes crashing down like a skyscraper. Oh and this killed me! So our main character meets this girl and they talk and blah, blah, blah (we'll get to the characters in a minute!) and he asks her to spar with him. So they spar and he proclaims and shouts from the mountaintops that they have a connection so she should be his co-pilot. Hwhat?? You have known each other for maybe 5 days if I was being generous, and you have this "connection" enough to work with? This isn't like in Star Wars, where Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade have known each other for years and connected through the Force so much that they knew each other completely, and can fight incredibly without even uttering a word to one another! No! You do not get to do that movie! No!! Oh my God this movie sucks. It's terrible. Oh and now we gotta do the characters! So we got our main character Raleigh, he lost his brother. That's it. That's his character, he pilots a mech and lost his brother. Next! We have his co-pilot and kinda love interest Mako, who I swear is the only good character because she has an arc! She was a little girl who lost her family, her home, and everything she knew so she wants justice or revenge on all kaiju for taking her life away. That's a good character! She doesn't go full Ahab, but she has the passion and drive to fight these creatures. Oh but I'm sorry, Idris Elba holds her back. Why? I don't know! Cause Mako is all like, "Daddy can I go outside and play monsters with the boys?" and Idris Elba is all, "No my child, you must stay inside and learn self control or some bullcrap even though you are perfectly capable of kicking ass." and that's his character! Just some hard ass stand in for either a police commisioner or an army sergeant who yells at our hero. Idris Elba, no! You're better! Oh God, there's more. Their system is so flawed.....okay, so turns out if you have any kind of trauma or PTSD like our two leads have, it can have catastrophic consequences because they freak out and the robot thusly freaks out. Brilliant. There's more horrible one dimensional characters but I honestly don't feel like talking about them. I have a headache and I need alcohol and pills. Even the kaiju aren't cool! They all look the same! How do you do that?? The robots look cool, I guess but it makes me long for the Megazord or some of the later Mechagodzillas you see in the Heisei and the Millenium series. I guess giant robot movies are dead. They can't make a good one. Transformers butchered it, and now Pacific Rim is putting nails in the coffin. I would rather watch Transmorphers, at least that had Bruce Boxleitner! Oh damn it, now I gotta review the second one. John Boyega save me!!!

The Dark Tower

You know I was kinda dreading this might be another bad Stephen King movie, but thankfully it was only average. Wait....

So The Dark Tower based off the series of books written by Stephen King just hit theaters today, and......it was okay. By no means a bad movie but also it certainly isn't hitting my top 10 films of 2017. So the movie centers around a boy named Jake who's having constant nightmares of a dark tower, a man in black, and a gunslinger. We spend a bit of time on Earth and I have to say, this kid did a good job in this movie! He's a smart kid, he doesn't feel like baggage or some prized item for someone to obtain, I mean yes he is along for the ride but he still sets out to seek help to defend his world! So through a bit of research he finds a totally not stargate, crosses through, and soon finds the gunslinger. They exchange history between one another and set off to take down the man in black. Yeah, not exactly Shakespeare but it's a decent movie with good action scenes, decent characters, and leaves it open to create more movies possibly in the future. The world of the gunslinger is a mesh of magic and technology, and yet the civilizations range from straight out of the old west that just so happens to have a stargate by it, to a very technological base of operations for the villains. Speaking of which, Matthew is a treat in this movie. And surprisingly he does command this presence and danger about him, even though he does have his Matthew McConaughey moments which I love, so that really surprised me but it just shows he's a good actor and can even play a villain. Side note, they straight up tell the audience magic is real, and the man in black is a sorcerer, but I am willing to hedge my bets in the book it's spelled magick. But anyway, Idris Elba is a good lead, and yes he does have lackluster roles (Star Trek Beyond) but in this he does well! You get the sense he's old, tired, but can still put up a good fight and I like that about his character. But The Dark Tower while not a bad movie didn't leave much of an impact on me. If you have a day where nothing is on TV, you're bored, you want to watch a movie, I'd check it out and hell, if you saw the trailer and want to see the movie I certainly won't stop you. You may have a much more better experience than I, but all in all The Dark Tower is a decent movie. Not great, not horrible, but good.

Life (2017)

That's a great poster by the way. A hand on the face part of a space suit, even though that is impossible. Do you know how space suits are put on? Why not just a hand on the glass of say, an airlock? That does a much better job and makes sense at least. Alright sorry, brief tangent, moving on.

Life, a new science fiction movie dealing with an alien parasite brought aboard the International Space Station, as it breaks loose, runs amok, and my God this movie is boring! Hmmm....where have I seen this before?? An alien brought aboard a ship, that attacks the crew, grows everytime it kills somebody, and has a distinct weakness in the form of fire and electricity. Oh yeah, The Thing From Another World and Alien! Jesus Christ. It does nothing, it doesn't deliver anything new, the characters couldn't be more static and two dimensional if they tried and in fact they are supremely idiotic, the alien doesn't even have a slightly interesting design, and I'm not sure if just my anger or aggravation caused this but I kept on seeing major clashing facts in this movie. Like is the alien attracted to oxygen or light? I heard both so what is it? Is it over there in one section or another? This movie defies all logic on being created. What was the point? And don't you start that, "It could be the Symbiote from Spiderman" bullshit, whoever actually thought that was true is somehow MORE idiotic than the people who say Star Wars Episode VIII is going to be just like The Empire Strikes Back. Cut me a freaking break. What a waste of time. And you know what pisses me off? Well actually two things piss me off, the ending which is unnecessarily dark but also this was not the movie I was originally going to review. I wanted to see Going In Style, but complications arose, I needed a new movie that was still in theaters, so I chose this one. Dear sweet merciful celestial beings, why did I choose this?! God....bless it. Don't watch it. Don't buy it. Don't rent it. Don't even watch it when it hits cable. It is worthless, and you should spend your time watching better sci-fi movies. Like Alien or either of The Thing movies and not that piece of garbage that's a prequel that came out in 2011 or whatever. I am fed up now. Time to cleanse the palette. Now where's that vodka?

Star Trek Beyond

Time for some new movies. How does this movie hold up on Star Trek's 50th anniversary? Well....

It did a very good job, I highly enjoyed the movie and felt it was an appropriate celebration of Star Trek. The plot takes place two and a half years after the Enterprise crew encountered Khan, as they explore the deep reaches of space. The ship is brutally attacked, destroying the entire ship and stranding the crew on a hostile alien planet as they desperately try to escape. Good plot with some interesting new characters, but of course the crew is the best part. Nothing much is new in terms of character development, with one exception but we will touch base on that later. The comedy is still there but toned down from previous films, the sets are...unbelievable, these are the best designed sets of the new Star Trek movies with extensive levels and amazing attention to detail, the special effects are still kick ass adding new and yet older ships and some original ideas. And has without a doubt the most ludicrous, most badass fight scene ever near the end! The movie has plenty of nods to past Star Trek movies and television shows, some only the most hardcore Trekkies will spot, I myself only caught a handful. From a ship straight out of Star Trek Enterprise to the poster itself being a throwback to Star Trek The Motion Picture, there is tons to notice. And of course, it is almost impossible to not talk about how we lost two beloved members of the Enterprise, Leonard Nimoy sadly passed away before filming and the movie takes the time to pay respect to the one and only Mr. Spock with a beautiful and heartfelt scene at the end, and we tragically lost Anton Yelchin in a car accident after filming ended, it was a true shock and I am still very sad that he is gone, Star Trek will never be the same without these two wonderful actors. I want to thank all of you who joined me tonight, and as always till next time live long and prosper.

Join me tomorrow as we travel through the looking glass. You are invited.

Zootopia

Okay, this may be the first CGI film from Disney that I saw and actually wasn't gaga over.

I mean don't get me wrong Zootopia has an interesting idea, good characters, pretty standard plot compared to other animated films from Disney, but it was just good. It wasn't great like Inside Out was to me. Am I happy that I saw it? Absolutely! Would I buy it? Probably not. The plot is the most lackluster thing about the movie, which follows a bunny named Judy aspiring to be a police officer in the grand city of Zootopia, she finally gets there only to find that not many people believe in her abilities. She soon meets a hustling fox named Nick, and the duo soon finds out that maybe Zootopia isn't actually the utopia it is said to be, so our heroes must solve a world changing case in order to save Zootopia from being in ruins. Pretty damn standard, not much special to it besides the animals and a surprising allegory of racial issues. Yeah you heard me, a Disney movie that deals with racial issues! I can hardly believe it myself, and they do a good job of it culminating in a lesson that you would teach your kids at a very young age, that no matter what people look like you have to treat them on basis of character and morals and not outward appearances. Sounds like a friggin' preschool special but credit where credit is due. Would I recommend Zootopia? Eh, maybe. Depends if what you have seen from the movie tickles your fancy or not. It's a good movie but not something that is considered one of the most memorable and greatest Disney movies ever made, at least in my opinion. But hey, maybe you'll see something more in it than I did so if you want to see it go for it.

The Jungle Book (2016)

Guys this movie was good. I mean like, really dang good!

The Jungle Book, beloved animated classic with an all new interesting twist. And it is awesome! Where do I start? The casting is exquisite, everybody especially Neel Sethi in his breakthrough performance is something truly special. I mean, who are you going to pick over Bill Murray to play Baloo? I dare you no wait, I friggin' double dog dare you to pick someone better! Ben Kingsley was a great Bagheera, Idris Elba of Luther fame is a very malicious and very threatning Shere Khan. Scarlett Johansson....mmm! Giant snake or not, I'm in love. Just pure sensual yumness from a snake! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the first movie Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson have been in together since the most perfect movie ever made. Whoa. And they actually share a scene together (Hooray!) but sadly they fight (Boooo!) but the principle still stands. Oh yeah, and Christopher Walken! Isn't this exhilarating? But there is more to talk about than the cast! The special effects are outstanding, I had a very difficult time to discern what was real and what was computer graphics. That is a new standard of special effects! Most of the original songs are in this film specifically, The Bear Necessities, Trust In Me, and I Wanna Be Like You, all of which done superbly. The mythos surrounding the jungle is rather clever, to be more precise all animals of the jungle herald the elephants as gods. No joke, they state that they created the jungle and all within it. Which is clever because elephants are heralded as religious symbols in India which you can tell is where the story takes place. Speaking of which, the plot follows the animated film but not carbon copy close. The variations in this version are great, and by no means take away from the film. Oh yeah and there was this really funny easter egg when you meet King Louie, I want to see if you can spot it! But anyway, this film was pretty great, not sure which you will prefer more but I enjoyed the film and I really hope you do too. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to listen to Trust In Me again. Ohhh yes!