Expendables 4

There is no way in hell I'm spelling the title the same way as the poster.

Okay guys I gotta level with you, the only reason I saw this movie in theaters, or truthfully ever, is through pure spite of the last movie. Yes I still hold unbelievable hate for that movie and was hoping against hope that this one would redeem the series for me. Did it succeed? Welllll....no. Yes. Kinda. But not really. I'd take it over 3 but it only squeezed by like a notch, a gnat's wing. So story time, villain obtains detonators for nuclear weapon and wants to start World War 3 between America and Russia. Why? Because shut up I said so. Expendables get called in to sort the situation, action ensues. Fin. I never expect much in terms of story it's all about the action and spectacle, and while I can say it's handled with great economics in terms of settings and story, everything else is ehh. Acting is decent, I still say Dolph is the best part for me anyway. The action was actually okay, they brought the blood back, you get a good deal of fights throughout, and the choreography is pretty good. I know that special effects are just a tool, a means of telling a story but crikey this was harboring on PS3 graphics I mean it looked rough, some was decent but some ain't. I hate to say it but it doesn't feel much like a theatrical film, and hand over my heart it's not much of a rental either. And I was kinda giving it some points for the pre-title sequence, they have the balls to shoot a kid and kill off one of our big main characters but it very much gets hand waved away at the end and I did not like it one bit. Cause it seems to be moving forward, getting some new blood in, not afraid to kill off main characters, but it really doesn't do much in actuality. I know the point of The Expendables is a throwback to actionsploitation films of yesteryear, and I'm far from expecting cinematic revolution when seeing a new one, but you can live without this movie. I'd give it 1.5 stars, 5/10, and if I had to rank them in case this would be the last: 

1. Expendables 2, 2. The Expendables, 3. Expendables 4, 4. Expendables 3. 

I mean perhaps some people can get a bit out of it, but I wash my hands of this and am gearing up for a tiny comeback.

In Retrospect: Creed II

I know some people consider this to be Rocky IV: Part Deux, but there's more to it than that.

If I'm being real honest I didn't ever expect them to pull out the Drago card this early, if anything between the release of Creed and before the trailers started coming out for Creed II, I figured the resolution of that 30 odd year conflict would be like the finale to the Creed series. Cause it really feels resolved but I feel not really in the way many people would think. This movie focuses almost exclusively on the drama aspect, these character's baggage, why exactly they want this fight to happen and I greatly appreciate the shift between the solution of these movies. Before the solution to Ivan Drago was to beat him down for the death of Apollo in an almost vendetta story, to defeat this massive oppresive Russian menace to our American boxing sport. But nowadays, it's just more complicated and I can truthfully see 2 points audience members can take from this: 1. This movie does not give clean cut reasons and explanations for why Adonis wants to fight Viktor Drago because I don't think even he has a full grasp on the answer. People love to have easy, clean, black and white reasons for things both in life and cinema and this movie doesn't give a lot of that. 2. There's no climactic TKO, the one punch that floors Viktor for the 10 count, it's through the history and actions of Ivan Drago that make him stop the fight. I can honestly see some audiences feel completely ripped off for not having a decisive winner. However! The movie goes out of it's way to add humanity, a little pathos, and the simple fact that anger and vengeance does not grant you victory through the father and son relationship of Ivan and Viktor. Rocky brings up that point with Adonis, that you can't let rage and revenge fester inside you and if you want to fight you need to have a real reason. Cause a lot happens for Adonis in this movie that progresses his character and defining of why he fights, he marries Bianca, they have a daughter, he moves to L.A., and he becomes the heavyweight champion of the world. That's a lot of life changing events in a relatively short span of time, and it by shittin' hell makes you think and act different in life. Rocky seems to be more on the mend and not as sick but you can tell a lot of pain, a lot of regret, and a lot of fear is on his conscience. Cause he got a bit of closure with Drago but he still lost his friend and it shows, to where he steps away from training Adonis. This movie just works so well with the emotional aspect of this story and these characters, I almost wouldn't call it a sports movie despite there being training and matches, it's not really the focus here. In some aspects I think this movie is greater than the first, the writing is great, the acting gets pushed further, and you get invested real quick because of it. Yet on the other hand, despite it being well shot it's not as well directed as the first, I actually forgot Ryan Coogler was shooting Black Panther at the time, the soundtrack was good but not as strong as the first, but those are truthfully small potatos because it still had it's moments to shine in it's own respect. It ain't bad, I'd be lying straight out of my ass if I said it was bad or even just okay. A very strong continuation and a great movie regardless. 4 stars from me, 8/10! Although I did have this slightly horrifying thought come to mind of, what if Creed III went the way of Rocky III and it just started to go a bit off the rails and get ridiculous? Cause there is a clear and distinct divide between the styles of the first two Rocky movies and Rocky III and IV, I love them all do not get me wrong, but that would be a twist wouldn't it? I highly doubt they would go that way but only time will tell come Friday.

In Retrospect: Creed

It wouldn't be a part of the Rocky series if it didn't make at least one tear fall.

I told you it was gonna be unorthodox. I feel I have to apologize though when I first reviewed this movie cause I feel I did it a huge disservice despite the praise I gave it way back when. It truly is more than just a repackaged Rocky 1, it is a goddamn great film in my opinion. If memory serves correct here I believe this was the first movie I ever did see Michael B. Jordan in and boy what a tremendous first experience, he truly does carry the legacy of Creed and I know Carl Weathers gave him some strong love and respect cause he really did earn it. Just the passion of Adonis involved for the sport, to prove he is his own man and not just Apollo's son, the relationship between him and Rocky, I mean it's just compelling even moving storytelling. It's pretty ballsy to make Rocky have cancer in this movie, but it makes every word Sylvester Stallone says that much more important and it is there with purpose. And that's the only real way I could describe this film, it has purpose, a drive, a reason to be. Cause through real world tragedy of Sly loosing his kid Sage, he didn't want to do this in the slightest but it was through the dedication and passion Ryan Coogler had for this series that he accepted, it shows in every aspect. This was no movie made for monetary gain or to give just one more film to the fans for the fun of it. There's a story worth telling, actors who make it come to life, and directed by someone who made it all happen as well as it did. You take as much as it gives, and if you step back and appreciate it all you'll find a lot to love. Just as one example, I was so immersed in it I never noticed just how many long tracking shots there are, the film crew have free reign with this camera and they go a while before they call cut which shows a highly professional film crew and actors who nail it big time. The movie has more emphasis on the training aspect which I love greatly, you could almost argue it's the point of the film, and that's one particular thing I think the Rocky series does better than any other movie. Anybody can have a training montage, but with these movies it is essential to the story and more importantly the character dynamic and progression. It tells the story without a single expository line, you need your Gonna Fly Now, you need your No Easy Way Out, you need Eye Of The Tiger, not for the kickass-ness of the song but for the character arc. It's just super well made and I know I can gush about it even longer than I have but I'll let the numbers speak for themselves. Since that was the dark ages before I adopted a score system, this will put it on record. Of course it gets a full 4 gold stars, I give it an 8.5/10, and next time will be my second viewing of Creed II.

In Retrospect: The Suicide Squad

King Shark is the king of my heart.

Yeah it was fun watching this again in all it's bloodsoaked, gruesome, humorous glory. And I feel I got more out of it the second go around, now that I know all the big stuff I can see the little details. I mean I praise the cast day and night, but dang Margot Robbie has a great little monologue that honestly says more about Harley than anything we've seen in live action. Daniela Melchior has stolen my heart and probably the internet's too, forever being my precious ray of sunshine in this film, she's absolute class 10/10! I do feel ashamed I wasn't party to Idris Elba's acting much before this because my man, my man, I love you my man. But dude James Gunn you are a bastard, you killed Savant who really struck me as a great character and one who I was quickly rooting for and Michael Rooker plays it perfectly. You did have the balls to drop Captain Boomerang and Rick Flagg, and you have my respect for shaking things up. But....how f***ing dare you kill Polka Dot Man. I am never getting over this, the shittin' Weasel lives but my guy dies? Because the second I heard we were getting Polka Dot Man I was ecstatic, and proves once more why David Dastmalchian keeps getting work at DC, because he rocks! And I knew, I frick fraking knew he wasn't gonna make it too, when I saw in the trailer of him triumphantly shouting with joy "I'm a superhero!" I was like well he's about to get shot in the head right after saying that. Asshole. I'm not actually mad at James for doing that, if anything I highly applaud the team here for getting me to care so much about these characters to begin with. I cared enough for the first Squad with Deadshot and all them, and appreciate both films for taking the time out to have emotional moments with these characters period. I dig the style and tone the movie has going for it, almost edging towards Tarantino tribute to 70s cinema but with it's own unique flair to it. I'd still say it's a great movie and clearly has the rewatchability factor to own. So the verdict still stands, 4 stars, 8.5/10. It's never a bad day when you watch a DC movie....except for The Killing Joke. Worthless bitch. And on that joyous remark it is time to end, and pray for me. I beg of you.

The Suicide Squad

Better than The Dark Knight? No. Damn good movie? Yes.

It's probably the most light hearted romp with a hard R rating I've ever seen in my life, juxtapositioning gnarly brutal gore and violence with light comedy and fun characters. The story follows two teams of Task Force X as they are sent to the known DC locale of Corto Maltese to investigate and shut down a government operation known as Starfish as the body count rises and we get to see good adaptations of DC characters both returning and new. Now I still stand by my review of the 2016 original, I still like it, I felt the studio should have kept it's big noses out of a director's work, but it is a movie I enjoy and would call good so this is not devolving to a, well clearly the new Suicide Squad movie is better than that trash. F*** yourself! They're two different movies and both are fine. Granted this one feels strangely a lot similar to the first movie and yet so different. It's heavily stylized, the camera work is more intricate, the blood factor is almost comical in it's excess, and each character gets a good smidge of backstory and personality. It could easily be seen as it's own thing but there's lots to connect it to the first which I like. While I couldn't bash the casting of the original hard, this one is mighty spot on giving the actors to make the character their own and not just feel like they are playing a character in a tight box. Margot Robbie is still royalty, Idris Elba is and has been the man, Daniela Melchior is my moon and stars in this movie, David Dastmalchian is mighty good but I still lean heavily towards his Calendar Man performance, and Sylvester Stallone as King Shark easily was the best character of them all. Yes even above Harley, he's that good, I said it. But even the side characters like Viola Davis, Peter Capaldi, and Michael Rooker were all great. The story is linear and might not make much sense when you break it down but I can truly see this as a movie people will watch again and again. The effects I felt were really good, maybe not enough practical gore but that's a small gripe, King Shark and Starro look good and have spot on textures plus they just have fun with it. I also feel the comedy was balanced, it could have a serious moment, it could have action without a comedy beat, this movie flat out says f*** your feelings they'll kill anyone without hesitation, and I know there will be some jackass chucklehead who will just say, oh it shows how bad the DC movies are that they have to take MCU directors to make their movies better, to which I reply with a quote from the movie "Eat a big bag of dicks." and f***ity bye. It's really good stuff, despite the fact they killed nearly every character I liked a lot so the verdict is .5/10. I'm just kidding, it upsets me but I'll get over. 4 stars, 8.5/10, this will be the last new movie for a bit but there's always stuff to talk about. Be good people.

Creed II

You know man I was feeling really bummed out today. Getting to this movie so late made me not even want to get out of bed today, I just wanted to give up and move on. Now, I remember why I do this.

Creed II tops the first easily. It is a powerhouse of a movie, there's no need for setup of the threat to the fight because it's already there in the history of the Rocky series. There's a lot to love, and I know for a fact these Creed movies and really the Rocky movies past number two are made for Rocky fans. Not just for the callbacks or similar stories but because of the growth of these characters and seeing where they go since the last movie. So Adonis Creed just got the Heavyweight Champion belt, and through the workings of a semi-shady backer pits the son of Ivan Drago against the son of Apollo Creed forcing our young champion to come to face with why he wants to fight and more importantly why he wants to win. I think I severely messed up if I ever labelled any Rocky movie as a sports movie, sure the fight is the driving force for our main character but the characters themselves is why it works so well. We know their motivations, history, and emotions, which is what keeps us invested and cheering for them. The movie understands this perfectly and it feels right in the series. Now Rocky IV was a bit out there I'll grant you that, but it's amazing how much they pulled off this story despite the 80s influence. Adonis follows in his father's footsteps, he has his strongheaded attitude, the compulsory urge to prove he's worthy of that belt, the pride in his family name is what keeps him going. And you can feel what Rocky is going through cause he doesn't want to lose this kid like he did his dad, so it builds up so much from the previous films. It does make me wonder how they can cap this off, cause with the Rocky movies every movie raised the stakes a bit higher. The first movie Rocky just wants to go the distance and prove his mettle, second movie Apollo lets his pride get the better of him and fights Rocky for the championship, then the threat is escalated by a tough loud mouthed son of a mother Clubber Lang who challenges for the title, then Jesus Christ Rocky has to go up against the russian superman an almost impossible task that pushes him to the limit. So every movie builds on the characters, and the stakes, and I'm gonna say it right now I do not know how they are going to top Viktor Drago. The dude is a mountain, and the fact we get further character interactions between previous combatants with Ivan and Rocky brings so much to the table. Now I get to fanboy the hell out over my man, Dolph Lundgren. Sweet Christmas is it wonderful seeing him again and they do so much good development for him, and he still has that intimidation and power from the last movie. And truthfully if I went to Philadelphia, ran up the art museum steps, and ffffflipin' Dolph Lundgren was at the top of those stairs I would not be able to count the bricks I would shat. You just never see that, and it is awesome! The whole movie is awesome, go see it! Without a doubt one of my top 10 films of the year. I seriously cannot wait for Creed III, I am ready for that next story and challenge.

Creed

Now that's what I call a terrific movie.

Creed is a worthy succesor to the Rocky series, and I couldn't tell you how excited I was when I watched it. I guess you could say the story is a retelling of the original Rocky, but it picks up a few years after Rocky VI. And everything is the same. Philadelphia looks a little more new but it's still Rocky's home. Mickey's gym, Rocky's house, the museum steps, it's all exactly where and how you saw it last. Michael B. Jordan is a great choice to play the son of Apollo, and I'm very proud of him for such a great performance. Of course Sylvester Stallone still has all the charm and heart, he hasn't lost an ounce of it and I have to admit it was amazing to see him play the Mickey role to Adonis. It's just great to see Rocky again and things haven't changed much for him. There's lots of love and attention to detail of previous movies, you see the original Mighty Mick's Gym sign in the newly remodeled gym, you even see Rocky's turtles all grown up. The whole experience of the movie gets you going, it invests you in the story and the characters, it makes you root for Adonis claiming the title of Creed from his father. It's just a damn good movie, and I really want you to see it. One thing I ought to give you fair warning about though is the fact that it is much more adult and more grittier than previous films, you hear some pretty strong language and it just shows this is the film for a person who grew up on Rocky movies and is now an adult. It's a new film, but it still feels like home.

Rocky VI

Yes I call it Rocky VI not Rocky Balboa.

This movie is pretty great! It takes place almost 20 years after the last Rocky movie and stuff has went down since then. Rocky has been retired for that whole time, Adrian has passed away which is a pivotal part of the movie and the driving force which gets Rocky back in the ring. Lots of flashbacks from the previous movies are used to a pure emotional level very much like Mickey's flashback in Rocky V. There is a really good scene which Rocky defends his stance on why he is fighting even though he is getting up in the years. In fact a hell of a lot of dialogue in this movie is fantastic! The whole movie is great and is easily in the top three, maybe even in the top two spots for best Rocky movie. I forgot who truly great this movie was. I mean by the time I started buying and watching all the Rocky movies, Rocky VI was not even five years old. And now Creed is coming out and it's going to be the first time in my life where I see a new Rocky movie in the theatre! So I am very excited and very hopeful for the new movie, which comes out on Wednesday before Thanksgiving so mark your calendars! Thank you so much for reading my recap of all the Rocky movies, and I will see you next week.

Rocky V

Alright, less than a week before the new movie comes out. So let's wrap this up.

Okay so this Rocky movie is...not great. Sylvester Stallone himself gave it zero stars if that should warn you at all. I personally think it's okay, it has some real good scenes. So Rocky comes back from Russia after ending the Cold War and he oficially retires and starts training an up and coming boxer, Tommy Gunn and that's pretty much it. Two best scenes in the whole movie, first is a flashback before the big fight with Apollo in the first movie where we see Mickey for the last time. It's a real tearjerking scene and is easily one of the best scenes in the entire series. Second is a street fight between Rocky and Tommy Gunn, it is badass! Great fight scene to say the least. Sadly there really isn't that much more to talk about and I would only recommend this movie if you are a hardcore Rocky fan. If not just skip to the sixth one, trust me it's really great.

Rocky IV

And this is where the crazy over the top scale breaks. Now it gets awesomely ridiculous.

Rocky IV is a fantastic movie, and I am serious. It gets so crazy and relishes in the 80's cheesiness it becomes something extrodinary. This movie takes place a little while after Rocky III, Rocky and Apollo have become real great friends, Rocky's son has grown up quite a bit, and Rocky and Adrian celebrate their ninth anniversary together. Things have been going pretty well for everybody, until the Russians invade. Well technically it's a Russian boxer, Ivan Drago played by Dolph Lundgren who I got to admit is downplayed majorly from something like his Expendables performance in retrospect. He's pretty much an almost silent monster. He has like six damn lines in the whole movie! They used him for just his physical stature and really he is so much more than that. Dude is super smart and even a bit charismatic but here he is a friggin' walking tank. But hey he does a real good job at setting the bar higher than it ever has been before or since in the Rocky series. But let's continue with the plot. Apollo flips his lid and goes after Drago guns blazing and loses. Badly. So Rocky has to take the fight to the Russians, literally. He travels and trains in Russia. And yes, Rocky ended the Cold War. The absurdly awesome moments don't take long to set in, it takes about 5 minutes before your jaw hits the floor in disbelief. I won't dare ruin the surprise but it does not stop there. I love this movie, and what I noticed while watching it again is there are a bunch of montages in this movie set to blazing 80's music that makes you want to rock out to, and it has to be at least 30% of the movie and Vince DiCola's score is glorious. I know the original soundtrack in the first movie is the greatest but dear lord this comes so close! Some people call this a guilty pleasure movie, and I don't see it as that. I greatly enjoy this movie every time I watch it, and it really never gets old. And just like the last movie it keeps raising the stakes and changes the world in which these characters live in. So yes, it is an important and very ludicrous entry in the series and must really be seen to be believed.

Rocky III

I have a theory that this Rocky movie and Rocky IV are in a totally different universe.

So movie starts off the same with a recap, and now Rocky is the champion of the world. And of course when fame is achieved others start to challenge the top dog for supremacy. So Rocky fights contender after contender until he meets this damn beast of a boxer Clubber Lang played by badass Mr. T! Strong as all get out and a big mouth to boot. So Rocky has to defend his title as champ and win. The reason why I think this is a totally different movie is because it gets out there. There's this scene where Rocky has to fight Hulk Hogan, yes I'm serious. It's for charity and all hell breaks loose. Not exactly a scene you would see in the last two emotional, inspiring movies. But this movie takes some big steps nevertheless and it completely changes how the characters interact in this world. Apollo turns ally and helps Rocky train more differently than he has before, telling him he's got the eye of the tiger. Yeah, this is where Survivor started in Rocky movies! Truly amazing 80's music and you better believe the soundtrack was selling like crazy. It's a ridiculous but great movie, and is still an important part of Rocky's story. So give it a watch and I pity the fool who doesn't.

Rocky II

Rocky II is without a doubt just as good if not a little better than the first movie.

It picks up right where the last movie left off with a recap of the last fight, a tradition that would last for the rest of the series. The story picks up after Rocky and Apollo leave the hospital and stuff has really changed for Rocky. He's now super rich and is no longer humble in his surroundings and has changed sadly for worse. But he soon gets back to his roots, and all the meanwhile everyone says the big fight in the last movie was rigged. And this is where we get some great insight into Apollo's character, where we see that he really is obsessed with fighting Rocky again because his reputation has been damged. In fact both of theirs are. And this is the main driving point to get them back into the ring which is really funny because at the end of the first movie Apollo says there ain't gonna be no rematch and Rocky says I don't want one. But whatever, it's a great movie that progresses the characters and story. Everyone is back and I got to tell you, Burgess Meredith as Mickey is my favorite character in the whole series, just his grouchy voice and wise ass remarks make me love him to death. Easily top 3 greatest mentors in film history. Bottom line, if you loved Rocky it is mandatory to see the sequel....and after this the sequels get very different and very crazy.

Rocky

Yeah been awhile. Missed out on Spectre and The Peanuts Movie for now. But we got 6 Rocky movies to review before the new one comes out on Thanksgiving.

Rocky is one of the greatest movies ever made, and it's something you have to watch for yourself. It's a true underdog story with nothing but heart and a glorious cast. Sylvester Stallone became famous for potraying the Philadelphia southpaw Rocky Balboa, playing with huge amounts of charm and love. Talia Shire is perfect as Adrian, a shy pet shop owner that Rocky sees the beauty in and I have to admit she is cute as a bug. Burt Young is Paulie a drunk and a bit of an ass but is a good friend of Rocky's. Carl Weathers who is the second coolest black guy next to good ol' Billy Dee is the champion of the world Apollo Creed, and his son is the real main character of the new movie. The music by Bill Conti is soaring to say the least, and is truly a masterpiece. The setting is entirely in Philadelphia and it really shows, you get some real character from the city and the best part is all of it, I repeat all of it you can still find. You can run up those museum steps and Rocky at the top. It's such a great movie, and I don't care for sports movies but the Rocky movies I will watch whenever they are on. And it's because of this movie I incorporated 'Yo' into my vocabulary. So tune in tomorrow where we look at the just as great sequel.

If you want to know where you can find all the Rocky locations go to our old friend Cinemassacre and they got a video documenting all of the settings in all 6 of the movies. It's called Rocky Jumped A Park Bench, and it's really damn good.

The Expendables 3

This movie is horrible! It's friggin' horrible!

Where do I start with this terrible movie? Everything you enjoyed in the last two Expendables movie are no longer here. The Expendables 2 is the best movie out of all three of them, and to tell you the truth I didn't like the first Expendables movie that much, but I could give it a pass because it was the first movie in the franchise, it's not easy creating a world and creating the characters in that world and just having it's own image and it's own way of doing things. By the second movie, they got it really right! Expendables 2 was glorious, it was awesome! By the end of that movie you were still talking about some of your favorite scenes, but not in this piece of garbage! The story is boring, we get a whole new cast of members of The Expendables that we don't care about, there is hardly any blood in the movie whatsoever unlike Expendables 2 where there was blood and limbs and heads being shot off, this movie barely has a cup of blood to show on screen, the CGI is terrible, I mean terrible in this movie. Before, the CGI was decent and looked semi-realistic but in this movie it looks like it came straight out of a video game from 2003, in fact all of the effects are terrible and shoddy in this movie, and really you know what it is like? It's like a direct to DVD Expendables movie. Those bargain bin movies you see at a video store that are so terrible and cheap you wouldn't think for a second to even look through them. That is this movie! And I am serious here, half the damn movie and I do mean half the damn movie is spent looking for these new assholes to join the team. There are several scenes that just waste your time like there are two scenes, I swear to God that pretty much goes like this...Mel Gibson the villain walks into an art museum looks at a painting, describes how horrible it looks and buys it for $3 million dollars. End of scene. Soon to be followed by, Mel Gibson's character delivering said painting to some nameless woman we never met before and will never see again. End of scene. Waste of time! But oh wait, there's more! In one scene Sylvester Stallone informs the old members of The Expendables that they are getting too old for the job and he breaks up the band, so of course we have to see the old members moaning and moping around for about three minutes before we can finally get back to the story, or what passes for a story. What's the story you might ask? Well The Expendables are hired to take out Mel Gibson's character and we soon discover that he was a member of The Expendables too back in the day (dun dun duuuuuh!!!) but he went rogue and did unspeakable things that the movie never decides to tell us about, and I am serious. I was expecting some sort of flashback scene to explain why the characters get so huffy when he is brought up, it never happens. We don't barely have any backstory to his character, and while it is kinda fun to see Mel Gibson just kinda be Mel Gibson in this movie, and he does make you chuckle in a few scenes but ultimately is forgettable. We get Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas in this movie as new members of the team, and Antonio Banderas is so annoying in this movie, all he does is talk, and talk, and talk, and talk, and talk, and maybe shoot a few guys, and talk. And Wesley Snipes, you know the first time you see him the team busts him out of this prison train and he's got this beard and like this afro, so for the rest of the movie I called him Afro Blade and he does nothing but he did make me laugh a bit. Horrible! This movie is fraking horrible!! Do not watch this movie! It is not worth your time and money! Watch The Expendables 2, do not touch this movie. Even if you are curious do not see this movie! I need a damn drink after all of this...and the funny part was I have never seen this movie before, but I really didn't want to watch or review this movie. I mean at all. I did not want to watch this. I swear I have this sixth sense about movies where I automatically can tell if it's going to be a huge piece of crap, okay, or pretty damn good. This was a huge piece of crap. Stay away from this movie!

The Expendables 2

Re-watching this again, I have to say it's leaps and bounds better than the first.



I'm serious, everything that was good in the first Expendables is even better in the second one. The dialogue is better and is even funnier than the first, we get to know the characters better and even see some new additions to the team, the action is just all around better and that is very evident from the very first action scene, cause in the first movie it was really just a standoff for some hostages but in the second one it's a straight up rescue mission and it is so much bigger and more flashy and exciting. So the story of The Expendables 2 is that Bruce Willis contacts Sylvester Stallone and company to retrieve a mysterious object from a shot down plane in Albania, the team soon gathers together including their two new members of the team played by Liam Hemsworth and Nan Yu to retrieve secret data and return it back to the U.S. government before it falls into the wrong hands. But our heroes soon come face to face with the villain of the movie, whose name is Vilain....I am so not kidding it's only one letter away from spelling villain played by Guile himself from Street Fighter The Movie, Jean-Claude Van Damme who I got to say is an interesting choice for the villain of this movie and I'm not sure why but he's just a joy to watch. And just like in Street Fighter I can barely understand what he is saying, like I understand Christian Bale's Batman better than this guy. His accent is what does it, it sounds ger-russian-nese but it's still pretty cool to see him in the movie. So the chase is on to stop Vilain from using the secret data to cause chaos in the world. I think the reason why I enjoy this movie better than the first is because of the better dialogue and the new characters we get to see in action, even though the dialogue is very tongue and cheek sometimes, like there's this scene where Arnold Schwarzenegger tells Terry Crews to give him his gun and Terry Crews says, "If I don't get this back your ass is terminated." and it's dialogue like that which makes he movie a bit more fun, but we don't only get to see Arnold throw down and shoot em' up, we even get the most badass dude in existence to help out our heroes, Chuck Norris. And yeah he kicks the most ass in this movie, he's one handing this big machine gun tearing through guys left and right, he takes out a friggin' tank and he even says one of the Chuck Norris facts about how a king cobra bit him and after 5 days of pain the cobra died. Best part of the movie but another fantastic part of the movie is Dolph Lundgren and he is my favorite character in the entire film, cause he is super smart like he can make a bomb out of just a few ingredients, and he keeps hitting on the girl who tags along on the mission with him, he's totally awesome. So yeah, this movie was a hell of a lot better than the first, and I think the best part of The Expendables movies are the continuity is loose, like it's not necessary to watch the first movie to get the second movie so you can just skip the first movie and go straight for the second movie. This is The Expendables movie you have to see if you want to watch the franchise, so I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did, and I will see you guys and gals tomorrow when we wrap up the trilogy.

The Expendables

What better way to start the month of July and build up to our Independence Day than to review a trilogy of hardcore action movies starring the biggest names of the action hero genre?



So The expendables is a true love letter to action films both old and new, starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren among many others as mercenaries hired by the U.S. government to take out a dictator. This plot could not get any more action hero if it tried. But it's a damn good movie with a lot of it's own merits, mainly the acting, the characters, and of course the action scenes. Now let's be honest here, this is not a great film as far as action movies go but it's a cut above the rest only because of the stars of the movie. If you have ever seen an action film from the 1980's onward, chances are you know who these people are and what their reputation is in the film industry. And even I have to admit it's pretty friggin' cool to see all these action movie stars kick some ass even if some of them are getting up there in the years, they still got it! And it is built entirely around the characters, their actions, their personalities, their past, all of it only contributes to the movie, and it shows they are not a perfect team, they bicker, they fight each other, but in the end they are still a team and give a damn about each other. And you really get the sense of that which makes them even more enjoyable. The acting is good, the directing shows you exactly what you need to see, the dialogue between the characters is really the best part of the movie in my humble opinion but the action is well choreographed and they are not afraid to show blood and violence, the characters are interesting enough so you don't just write them off as typical action movie heroes, the music for lack of a better word has that honky-tonk rock tone to it and it's pretty cool, the plot is pretty basic but you really can't be expecting Shakespeare in an action movie called The Expendables. Yeah it is just kind of a dumb action guy flick but it does have more to it than what you expect and I'm sure you will find it very enjoyable and interesting to watch nevertheless, especially if you are a big fan of action movies and action movie stars both old and new. I quite enjoyed The Expendables, and I hope you do too.



Tune in tomorrow where we review the second installation of The Expendables trilogy, and I hope to God it stays a trilogy.