The Book Of Clarence

It's an interesting experience to watch this movie.

Now speaking as a non-religious individual who was raised in a christian centric background, I'm not the one to determine if this is a good religious film. But I can tell you if I thought this was a good film or not. Split into three acts or Books in this instance the story follows an atheistic everyman at the height of Jesus' influence who seeks to make something of himself, and tries to pay off some debts being a charlatan messiah. That's pure bare bones and a fair bit happens, but I like the more imaginative and revisionist (Perhaps?) history stance the film takes. Now will I admit that the movie has a tremendous tone problem? Yeah. The humor barely hits and it mainly focuses on being a drama, so when those moments occur it doesn't work great. But when the drama and the big moments hit, I mean it's harrowing at times and hits you like a damn frieght train! I really couldn't say enough good things honestly about this cast, and finally we see a black Jesus. Sorry to break it to you humans, but an israeli born man in the city of David that resides in Jerusalem is not going to be wonderbread white. LaKeith Stanfield is a rock solid lead as wannabe apostle Clarence, and I find it kinda brilliant to make him an atheist at that period of history in 33 A.D. and the character journey that unfolds does not feel slapdash, stupid, or insulting. Great stuff! RJ Cyler, my friggin' man from the recent Power Rangers movie how great it is to see him in another film as Clarence's partner in crime Elijah, he gets his moments of humor and emotion and sells it being a stalwart friend to the end. And I will not lie to you for even a second, I didn't think we were going to see Jesus in this movie or at least his face anyway but when that moment comes and it is a powerful ass moment, and I looked in the face of Nicholas Pinnock the only words I could form were, "Holy fuck that is Jesus of Nazareth.". I'm so not even kidding, I bought every second of it, he did such a great job and you barely even see him in the movie! That's talent. Anna Diop as Clarence's sweetheart Varinia though more of a side character gives humanity and groundness to his character, seeing past his scoundrel qualities and admiring the man underneath. Personally I think he has terrific taste, the woman has a good head on her shoulders, is charming and caring, and shockingly gorgeous without a doubt. I actually will admit though my absolute favorite characters are Joseph and Mary, they're in the movie for one scene but I absolutely adored them and they made me have a good laugh, so Alfre Woodard and Brian Bovell have my absolute love. The film looks pretty dang good too, I mean I don't think they genuinely filmed in Jerusalem but it coulda fooled me, the costumes are great, the effects for the more miraculous stuff do the job, and the makeup is a little too good at points. But the interesting part is how my perception changed as the movie went on. Book I, I think the movie is completely middle of the road average aside from the production values. Book II, I'm kinda getting into it and near the end I feel the movie is decent. Book III, alright it's a good film. I don't think I've ever had that kind of movie watching experience in my life! So if you think you're not feeling the movie before the halfway point just stick with it. It was fascinating watching the number rise as the movie kept playing but what did it end on? I think a solid 3 stars, 7.5/10! So not a bad stint at the movies but oh we got one more, a movie I saw in my downtime that was too good not to talk about. What could it be? You'll have to see.

Phantom Of The Paradise

Hwhat was even that?

I'm almost at a loss for words, I can't honestly believe how long it took me to finally sit down and watch this movie. Obviously with my severe love of Phantom Of The Opera once many moons ago I heard of this movie, I've seen only a handful of reviews of it so I was walking into this movie pretty much knowing all the major plot beats. So you would think I would have a fair bit to say but I'm floundering here a wee bit. This is a bizzare movie, it's Phantom inspired of course and I could connect the dots from this movie to the source material and all the adaptations more than you can shake a stick at, but it really and truly is a beast all of it's own. Which is odd because I see clear and evident inspirations of Phantom, Faust, even Rocky Horror which didn't even come out until the next year in 1975. It's a smidge campy, a musical, a satire/commentary on the music industry, and a batshit very loose adaptation of Phantom. So the story takes more inspiration from the Claude Rains version as an aspiring composer Winslow Leach has his life's work of a cantata stolen by record mogul Swan to be used in opening his venue the Paradise, and later when he sets out to sabotage the record factory gets horribly disfigured, steals a costume from the Paradise, and terrorizes the venue....for like two scenes. This is where the Leroux Phantom stuff ends, and you're either gonna hate it or love it because of that. Swan basically manipulates Winslow to compose more music with the notion of it being performed by Winslow's love interest/pupil/inspiration Phoenix, and quite literally has Winslow sell his soul to Swan and his record company. I swear I'm not on acid as I write this but by the end of the movie it almost felt like I was. There's actually a fair bit to talk about but this may get disjointed and rambling, so fair warning ye who enter here. Brian DePalma directs, and this was before Carrie but he utilizes the same split screen multi-camera technique seen near the end of Carrie, and that is only the beginning of the camera work being wild in this movie. Films made in modern day wish they could have shots and cinematography like this movie, when the most artsy and experimental they get is a 360° revoultion shot. I'm serious man, like this is almost award winning camera work. There's always mirrors in the background, there's lots of handheld shots, there's flat out a POV Halloween sequence 4 years before Halloween! It's kind of amazing. I think the commentary on the music industry truthfully works better now than back then, and yeah this is a movie unashamedly 70s in every aspect which I'm all there for personally. Paul Williams is such an interesting choice for a villain, but my God does he look like he's having a terrific time playing this devilish oddball of a record producing king. William Finley though not taking up a lot of screentime doing phantomy things is regardless very memorable and does do a good job with the material. Jessica Harper, man that girl can sing good and while she's probably one of the weaker Christine variants she does admirable work the whole way through. Speaking of singing, this soundtrack. F*** me, I beyond any doubt love this soundtrack! It's somewhat in the funky 70s spectrum but when you hear William and Paul sing, and I think that's such a cool effect how when Winslow sings you hear both his and Swan's voice mixed together, it's very timeless sounding with often just piano music for the instrumentation. No joke I had tracks of the soundtrack on my phone before I even saw the movie, that's how good we're talking here. It's an odd fascinating movie to watch but it's influence and love is found in surprising places, Nicolas Cage said this was his favorite Brian DePalma movie and Daft Punk flat out said it was their favorite movie period and how it gave a lot of inspiration in their costumes and music. That's pretty damn cool. It's strange, I have a lot to commend and praise with the movie but I'm having a rough time settling on a rating. It is entertaining and just interesting to watch, the cast is really good, the music is great, the visuals and direction are so specific yet so out there, the story combines bits from many classic horror stories, and I think it probably single handedly is the biggest cult film of the Phantom fandom. I give it 2.5 stars, 7.5/10, I'm gonna lay down and have some wild ass fever dreams tonight.

Ghostbusters (2016)

Motherf***er. I had no choice. Work screwed me over and I didn't want to leave you hanging until Friday. I hope you appreciate what I do for you.

Goddamn it. Alright, 2016 Ghostbusters, the review I never wanted to do. You know what the worst part is? This movie had just a few interesting things that I liked but you know how I sometimes run into movies and I can only say they are just adequate. A big ball of middle of the road. This is the antithesis of that. This is such a vacuous movie, quite possibly the most vacuous, unnecessary, biggest pile of nothing I have ever seen in my life. I don't even know how to properly talk about it, it's like the roughest sketch of the 1984 script but done by a very very poor script writer and director. No wait, I got it. It's like if a person who has never actually seen Ghostbusters but their friends are really into it, and they knew the most bare bones basics of the franchise, sat down and wrote out a story to share with those friends of theirs hoping to be accepted as part of the club. It has some semblance of recognizability but it has zero of the heart or humor of those movies. I barely have anything to say at this point. So let's talk about the brief good things I liked. I dig the new look of the Ecto-1, it's different but still nice looking. I like the progression of the proton packs, how it goes from this big blocky gun that literally needs a rolling desk full of equipment to work, to the slightly more refined backpacks, to innovative and neat gadgets like the pistols and the power glove. Leslie Jones is the best part of the movie period and made me laugh the most (and there was only 5 instances where I did laugh), she still has to work with this amateur script but can do a fair bit with it. I hold no hate to any of the main cast, I just know they should have been reigned in and given better material. Even my babe, Kate McKinnon couldn't save it, in fact the second I saw her in the trailer I thought she was going to effortlessly be my favorite character. But she wasn't really, her offbeat mannerisms and humor seemed more a product of desperately trying to stay afloat in the scene than genuine good acting. There's just so much holding me back from liking it, it's not a horrible story, it needed several friggin' drafts and re-edits but it could have been decent. For every neat little thing I liked there was 20 steps backwards. A phenomenal aura of uncomfortable silence permeated the room, almost staring into the void yet somehow much worse. If you gaze long enough into the abyss you can at least get existential and ask some monumental questions. There is no such escape in this movie. It stuns me shitless how little I can honestly say about it. It gave me so little to work with, I can't even just go on a verbal tidalwave of obscenity and abject rage because there is nothing there. It's like this zen like state where all of reality melts away into nothing and you remain with nothing to say. If our main stars had a terrific experience making this movie and have fun memories to hold onto for the rest of their lives, that's wonderful and I will never give them hell about it. But it's an unnecessary, pointless, empty shell that I will forever regret spending $3 to watch. 1 star, 1.5/10, I'm sorry I had to do this but I was going to take a bullet in some way or another, work or reviews. I can weather this. So thank you for putting up with this brief and unwanted detour, I really hope you'll join me tomorrow, goodnight.

Trainspotting

Well it only took me 22 years to finally watch it.

So what did I think of Trainspotting? I liked it! It was nice to see Ewan McGregor in a role I never saw him in before, this coming from a guy who the first and only movies I saw of him were the Star Wars prequels. Hell, this movie came out 3 years before Episode 1 so he was that close to becoming super famous, and he does an incredible job in this movie where he plays Renton, a young man who is addicted to heroin and tries several times to get his life back on track told in one of the most recognizable opening monologues in film. It's basically if you took Requiem For A Dream's drug abuse and addiction and mixed it with A Clockwork Orange's delinquet young men. It's a fascinating movie and it does end on a high note for Renton, but it does not shy away from the more dark and depressing consequences of drug use. Christ, I'd almost say the movie is one big PSA to lay off the smack but that would be a severe diservice to the movie. It has unique camera movements and placements, you get a good sense of Renton and his deadbeat friends and maybe why they even do what they do, all the acting is really good, it's surprisingly funny for a serious look at drug addiction, and I can see why it has a sort of cult following. It's a really good movie, and though it may not be for everyone I do have to recommend it. It's graphic to say the least, but you can still enjoy it as a film and appreciate the story it was trying to tell. Would I buy it? Yeah, I think I actually would! And tomorrow we look at another movie I've never seen, Snatch. I swear to God it's not a porno.

Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen

This movie is terrible. One of the worst I have ever seen. But the rage has left and all I feel is contempt and disdain.

Revenge Of The Comic Sidekicks oh sorry, I mean Fallen takes place 2 years after the first. But I assure you this movie is far more original than the first, it follows the Autobots and Decepticons as they search for an ancient relic from their homeworld of immense power whose location is only known to Shia Labeouf. Wait. Yep, it's the same movie only with a few more references to the original Transformers movie from the 80s. God I so am fed up with these movies. What is there to say? It sucks. The action is subpar, the comedy itself is a joke, the characters are insufferable, it's just so bad! There is less reason to watch this movie than the last! Okay, when the first movie hit, we didn't know. It was, oh cool a Transformers movie! And the movie wasn't horrible, it was adequate. No harm, no foul. Then the second one hit....like a slap in the genitals, and it sucked balls! It's such rubbish! 4 pages of notes this time! And we're still not done!! And I quite possibly despise the 3rd movie the most. We shall see. Hang out on my twitter to see my notes this time, not as good this time since the anger has faded but still interesting to read. Better than this shit!