Monday, April 29, 2019

Gotham: Season 5

Don't let Gotham die.

For my immense contempt of the first half of season 4, it ended very strongly and when I heard Gotham's 5th season was to also be it's last I was rather shocked and heartbroken. And they really did everything they could do with wrapping up the series, which is already a huge task to do for any series let alone Gotham, and it ended really well. But damn it I don't want it to end! I've been with Gotham from the beginning admist all the bad mouthing and zero faith in the show, I was there. It's been a great show, the best I could ask for. I was there at the beginning and now, I got to see how it ends. The last season was delivered a cruel and crushing blow from the very beginning, with every season it has been a solid 22 episode runtime, this season originally got 10. Ten. And somehow, I don't know how it got two additional episodes added. So all the stuff I wanted to see could have been shown if they had those 10 more episodes. It's such a shame, so they had to cram a lot into the 44 minute run time so every minute counts! I mean it has to! So we start off almost a month after the bridges blow and war is brewing in Gotham, all the gangs have divided up territories with the GCPD trying to protect civilians and keep crime to a low while waiting for the military to provide aid for the city, and this takes up literally 80% of the series but never does it get old or tired. Cause honestly when you get to that point after seeing everything from the Waynes being murdered onwards you care a lot! Tons happen, some of it taking some cues from the movies but hey I can't complain about that! Plots are uncovered, new characters are introduced, my boys continue to be perfection, and a few surprises are in store as well. I greatly enjoyed this season and it wrapped up everything very well, and there was soooo much to enjoy! I loved the whole Arkham City dynamic with all the gangs, and yeah they pull a Hugo Strange near the end, good ol' Stabby Babs is fun as ever (and simply gorgeous as a redhead), Ed is still same old Ed who gets to play detective a bit, Oswald is still the perfect level of over the top, Bruce plays a big role in protecting the city, and there's some lovely little easter eggs sprinkled throughout! I would be thrilled if they did a continuation or even a spin-off series from this in a year or two, there's a lot you can do and I like the fact they twist the mythos a bit, because honestly there was only one character I did not know in this entire series because I'm such a nerd and know too much about the Batman and his history so it can have it's little surprises and I'm okay with it! If there was only one teeny tiny itty bitty thing I hate is, there's not enough Jeremiah! Cameron Monaghan does such a great job in this series and we really needed more of him! However, that is easily remedied because of something that I've been waiting to happen for a long time. I hold grudges forever and I tasted bliss and joy when Tabitha gets stabbed in the heart by Mr. Cobblepot. Ohhh! Oh, it's sublime!! It was beauty incarnate. It happened 2 if not 3 seasons too late but I never can be too picky about victory! If you've heard me praise and talk about this series enough and haven't watched it, I totally get it! It may not be your thing but if you watch say...4 to 6 episodes of the first season and you kinda want to see what's next give the show a watch. Granted the first season is very case of the week and it starts getting really good when the 2nd season starts, so if you can make it past the first you may stick around to the last. And with tremendous sadness and regret we must leave Gotham but I strongly doubt it will be the last time I see it.

Saturday, April 27, 2019

Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003)

I decided to do this today even though it's my birthday, to not only compare notes but to leave no loose ends.

When you get right down to the two Clone Wars series we have could not be more night and day. This series is all about the visuals, with grand scale battles, excellent design, and short but satisfying stories. And when I say short I mean short, the first episode is 3 minutes and 30 seconds. The entire series clocks in a bit over 2 hours, so it's practically the most action packed Star Wars movie ever made. Now you might be thinking, well how could it be so good if each episode is so damn short? Well it's difficult to explain, though most episodes don't have much dialogue you can get easily invested, and each battle is significantly different so the show never feels stale for even a microsecond. Plus the fact that the dialogue is minimum and not full of exposition means anybody can watch it regardless of age or language and totally get it. That is visual storytelling and that's just Genndy's style. The first season follows up after Episode 2, and the end of season two is literally where Episode 3 begins, it could not match up better! I guess it all depends on what you want, if you want large scale battles with great lightsaber duels and stuff you won't find anywhere else in any other Star Wars film or TV series then this is definitely the series for you, but if character and story arcs is what you love then you have the new series. I love both but for very different reasons, though both shows are great. You can watch both seasons on Youtube for free because the DVD's that I bought way back when are ludicrously priced, so you're not gonna lose anything. It's such a well crafted show, with great visuals and designs, excellent action, but also knows when to take a break and give some nice character moments, and it's filled with stuff you just never seen before even with the new series. I never knew that a lightsaber could work underwater, or what would happen if a duel occured during a rainstorm, how Ventress was recruited by Dooku, why General Greivous had damaged lungs, it gives a lot more weight and significance to even small details of Revenge Of The Sith. It's expertly crafted and must be seen by any true fan, you won't regret it.

And thus concludes for now my love for the animated Star Wars series and that's kind of it for Star Wars for a good long while, unless I get a severe urge to watch the Holiday Special which I got news for you, ain't happening. So until December my friend, just one's ever really gone.

Friday, April 26, 2019

The Clone Wars: Season 6

The end, for now.

It's always a sad day when you finish a show you greatly love. Season 6 or The Lost Missions are the closing episodes of the series, or so we thought. It already begins with an excellent four part story dealing with one of our oldest clone allies Fives who after a clone trooper kills a Jedi is researching the clone development process and comes across a crucial part of the soon to be Emperor's plan. It's rough to watch at the end. It has so much weight to it because you've known this soldier for 6 seasons and his story comes to an end, and you don't want it to. Pull a Force Unleashed, take the canon and shoot it out of a cannon into the next galaxy. But sadly it does not come to pass. Then we get a really good story with Padme and Anakin's relationship coming to a breaking point, and actually gives some great substance to the relationship and tests their love. It makes the gag inducing romance subplot of Attack Of The Clones somewhat tolerable. And right before the end we have a true tribute to the fantasy movies of the 80s, seriously if you recount the plot it screams movies like Beastmaster, Ladyhawk, and so on. A brave warrior, Mace Windu teams up with his bumbling sidekick, Jar Jar to save a queen from an evil witch. That's fantasy story 101 and if you're a fan of that kind of stuff like I am it's a fun adventure before the finale. The last story arc deals with the Jedi finally looking into the Jedi Master who created the clone army and coming to a few discoveries and Master Yoda hears from an old friend beyond the grave setting him out on a quest to know the secret of life after death. Not only do we get some good old fashion trials, more Force entities, and getting more and more hints of things that have not yet come to pass but you get to finally have a story dedicated to Yoda. How interesting that the first episode and the last episode center around Yoda. And it ends pretty definitively, I could pop in Revenge Of The Sith right now and feel a complete story was told. It even plays that heart aching music when Ahsoka left, so the finale is a very nice but somber ending which makes sense when you reach the events of Episode 3. It was great going back and watching the whole series one last time before it left Netflix, and regardless of ending I am excited and interested to see what they will do next with this series. Thank you all for joining me, I felt it was time to talk about a great show based off my favorite thing in the world, maybe I got you interested to try it out or just pitched in with the discussion of the show between fans. There's so much to talk about that I couldn't cover everything but if you want to ask a question about this or that or start a discussion I certainly can't say no to you. Thank you very much, see you next time, and as always may the force be with you.

Thursday, April 25, 2019

The Clone Wars: Season 5

Well unfortunately this season suffers much like the last but Jesus does it end in an unforgettable way.

It starts out really blah, with young Saw Gerrera leading a rebellion, and like the water war of last season it goes on and on, but then it perks up a bit with Ahsoka leading young Jedi to find their lightsaber crystals and it's a good episode. Then it just keeps going. And going. And going like the damn Energizer bunny! It's worse than Saw's rebellion, at least that had content to span out over a few episodes, the young Jedi arc should have stopped after the first part. Then we get a adventure story with R2 and a handful of other drouds going on a mission which is all fine and good, yes it drags but we get to see a Republic Commando in action and for hardcore fans it makes up for the okay story. It's kinda sad how the "last" season of Clone Wars is padded out so much, literally half of the season is padding! But if you make it past that, Maul goes on a tour de force amassing a criminal empire and exacting a bit of revenge on Obi-Wan which some could argue is the best part of the season, not only does it show off Maul's combat prowess against Pre Visla the head of Death Watch, in a fight so excellent it has gained over 10 million views on YouTube, but also the most dark side fueled duel in history. Mother of mercy this is f***ing hardcore man! But in my humble opinion, the last story arc is the best. Ahsoka Tano, a beloved character we have seen grow and develop into a true Jedi is framed for a bombing on the Jedi Temple itself, leading both her and Anakin to try and find the true culprit. And it's a giant pushing force for Anakin to do what he does in Episode 3, but causes waves of events to happen and some we have not seen yet. It's hard not to get choked up at the end. Imagine if you watched that when it was on TV, imagine if this was the last Clone Wars episode ever. No season 6 on Netflix, no continuation of the series five years after it ended, nope it just ends. That is a downer ending! I'm almost afraid to watch future Clone Wars episodes because it can seriously damage the emotional reputation of this episode. It's why the season two finale of Rebels was a big deal! I know we will talk about the 6th season tomorrow, but for me this is how The Clone Wars ended. Not with an exciting bang, but an emotionally charged finale.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

The Clone Wars: Season 4

Well I wish I could say it started off strong.

Now don't get me wrong, this is not a Gotham situation where every season until the 4th has been great, it's still pretty damn good with a lot of great stories and character moments but jeez is there some padding before the good stuff. We start off with an underwater invasion on Mon Cala, which is okay....if it didn't go on for 4 damn episodes. It gets old. Fast. Why couldn't we have this for the invasion of Kamino? There's nothing fundamentally wrong with it, it's a welcome change of pace in terms of the battlefield, it's interesting seeing a young Admiral Ackbar, but it just goes on, and on, and on. How can a season begin and already pull the drag chute? But wait there's more! Then we go on to R2 and 3PO meandering about for 2 episodes and it is not an improvement on the first four episodes. You can immediately skip 6 episodes in this 22 episode long season already. But thankfully after that it's hit after hit until the end and I can safely say the Umbara four parter is excellent, dealing with Captain Rex under the command of a brutish and unsympathetic general, and honestly I was getting 'Nam flashbacks like crazy. Soldiers brought into a battlefield where the enemy is hardly ever seen and completely decimates ground forces to the point they need to call in air strikes, and a leader who will not pull the troops out of a hopeless situation. Yeah. It's grim. And as each episode goes on the tension mounts until shit goes down. I mean Jesus! That is how you should start this season! We move along to a decent three parter with Anakin and friends dealing with slavers, which hits home for our Chosen One but also Ahsoka who's people are captured and used as slave labor. Good story, good character development, solid B+. I will admit I like the premise of Ahsoka teaming up with a past Separatist who battles bounty hunters from Mandalore, but the only problem is I hate this kid. Yeah there's a lot of hate for kids in this show for me, he's an unlikable whiny jerk who tries to martyr himself and the only thing I can say is, I do NOT ship it! But don't worry, we get more bounty hunter adventures with Obi-Wan faking his death and going undercover, so we get awesome angry Anakin moments, a fantastic entertaining episode called The Box, and of course Cad Bane. Woop woop! And then we end on a high note. Darth f***ing Maul is back. And it is every bit of awesome as you think! That is how you end a season. You gurantee a surplus of viewers for the next season to see the best part of Phantom Menace back and kicking ass more than ever! Beautiful, perfect, 10/10! Yeah I'm biased towards the Sith, but only the wisest are. I will say the animation got better and for good reason, the creators wanted to get Maul to look impressive and real so they upgraded the quality of the graphics and it does look excellent, not to mention Starkiller voice actor himself Sam Witwer who is the biggest pimp in Star Wars next to James Earl Jones of course, dude deserves awards and more fans, that's all I'm saying! I am stoked for next season so I can gush relentlessly over Maul so stick around!

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

The Clone Wars: Season 3

*WARNING what follows is the geekiest review you have ever read. You will witness the true scope of my lifelong love for Star Wars. Be advised!*

Another fine addition to this collection, and the best season yet all around. We begin very much how we ended last with further situations arrising on Mandalore before we are whisked away to bounty hunting with Cad Bane, an invasion of the clone world of Kamino, more backstory into Asajj Ventress and the introduction of an old Sith's brother, the introduction of Captain Tarkin, and quite possibly the best story arc in the entire series. So yeah, lots to talk about! Mandalore is an interesting planet and the stage for even more future events, and always seeing Satine is a pleasure. She's such a well rounded character, and we see a friendship begin with Padme which is a lot of fun and starts the season off well. Then we jump straight into Cad Bane further proving why he is the best at what he does as he accepts a job from the Hutt's to hunt down a member of their family, and yeah it hardly feels like Star Wars and more an episode of In The Heat Of The Night but hey, any episode with Cad Bane brings the entertainment factor to the max for me! Then we move along to a massive invasion of battle droids at the very heart of the Republic's army and you know what, this episode bugs the shit out of me! Why? One simple answer, it isn't long enough. You'd think with such a pivotal battle with a lot on the line, they would take multiple episodes to show off this siege but it's wrapped up in one episode. Granted, they utilize every single last second and make it absolutely amazing but it just made me really want to see more. We get some decent episodes of Ahsoka, who's developed a lot more in terms of power and character and is forced to acknowledge the fact that war is far from simple, and it's great to see her grow up a bit and to become her own Jedi, though of course still taking after Anakin. And we'll get back to him in a moment. Then we get some much needed Ventress screen time, her episodes are excellent, not only showing off a new world and culture of literal witches, magic and all no powers drawn from the Force, that delve into her history and how she came to be the way she is. That was incredibly interesting, and leads to the best lightsaber duel yet with Count Dooku that wows me everytime I see it. Even if you don't watch the show, watch the duel. It really does show off how much better the combat, animations, and graphics have gotten, and they only get better from here which says a lot! And last but certainly not least we have the Mortis story arc. Oh my gawd! This does everything right. We get new character insights, a return to the mystical Force and not just scientific betrayals, literal personifications of Light Side, Dark Side, and Grey Side of the Force with so much allegory and parallels to the Star Wars...everything that it would take me weeks to fully talk about it. I really don't think future episodes surpass this, until perhaps the end of the 6th season and even then I'd have to think about it. I mean wow, they really did some inventive, great, and entertaining things with this season. But you can't have your resounding successes without your crippling failures which aren't that many, hardly at all but it has it's fair share of skippable episodes. About 5 in my count, most of them don't matter in the grand scheme of things whether in plot or character, including a murder mystery so uninteresting I planned better ways to eliminate my enemies, Ahsoka dealing with a bunch of f***ing kids who go full Scooby-Doo mystery solving that made me do other things besides watch it, and this weird like, Star Wars meets The Most Dangerous Game where Ahsoka and a bunch of other kids get hunted down by Trandoshans and Chewbacca is there and I really, really could not care less. Also what the hell is with the voice acting this season? Nothing horribly wrong with our leads but I caught at least 3 major WTF accents, one of the Hutts Ziro and his girlfriend sound like there from the bayou boy, it's like whaaaat?? And this guy, this like warden of this super duper impossible to escape super prison tower....I have no idea what he sounds like. Other than an asshole. The best I came up with is if you took Willem DaFoe and Christopher Walken with a splash of Jersey dickhead, I have no idea what this guy is on. Well, at least they got a good actor for Tarkin. So yeah, it has problems but few and far between with such excellent stories. And Season 4 is right around the corner.

Monday, April 22, 2019

The Clone Wars: Season 2

WARNING: what follows is the geekiest review you have ever read. You will witness the true scope of my lifelong love for Star Wars. Be advised!*

More interesting tales to see. Yet another fine season, surpassing the last in terms of stories and new characters. We already start off strong with an interesting three part story showing the debut of the best bounty hunter in the galaxy, Cad Bane. Yes, I will argue this with you. Cad Bane is a better bounty hunter than Boba Fett! I mean what's not to love? Cool design based heavily on westerns, badass voice, cool demeanor, excellent array of skills, the dude is one of the best mainstays of the whole series. Hell the first 3 part storyline and the last of the season are some of the best episodes of the whole season. The last three part story arc revolves around Mandalore and an old flame of Obi-Wan which is greatly fascinating and leads to a lot of good banter between him and the Duchess Satine. And to see Obi-Wan in such a position with such a remarkable lady it's hard not to ship it you know? It gives us a lot more info about Kenobi before Episode 1. It's a pivotal story arc which will be revisited in the future. Throw in a good tribute to Akira Kurosawa, a mish-mash of Aliens, The Blob, and Invasion Of The Body Snatchers with a zombie twist, and a really good episode that focuses solely on Ahsoka, and you got a really really good second season. Granted there are about 6 episodes that you can skip but by no means are they bad, if you want to see a young Boba Fett try to exact revenge on Mace Windu, or a King Kong style story set in the Star Wars universe, then be my guest and have fun. There just wasn't much there for me to really praise. But come on, you have a complete Seven Samurai tribute with pirate Ohnaka and some really badass looking bounty hunters duking it out for some villagers. Then you get a disturbing deeper look into Genosis which takes a lot of good inspiration and uses it well with very moody lighting, genuinely creepy monsters, and caps off with Ahsoka against an entire ship full of zombified clone troopers. What's not to love? Speaking of her, an entire episode dedicated to Ahsoka retrieving her lost lightsaber sounds like a filler episode if you ever heard one but it tells us a lot about her character and even stirs up some controversy of her training. What will happen after the war is over? How do you go from warrior commander to peacekeeper pacifist? That's a really good part of the show that they keep referring back to, solidifying why this show continues to have such a dedicated and loving fanbase. It truly does rise above just another cartoon show. Through every episode the animation is better, the voice acting is excellent, the stories offer tons of variety and intrigue, and you get to know more about new and old characters. It's hard to go wrong with that! There's so much to talk about in the coming seasons and I greatly look forward to it. So until tomorrow my friends!

Sunday, April 21, 2019

The Clone Wars: Season 1

*WARNING: What follows is the geekiest review you have ever read. You will witness the true scope of my lifelong love for Star Wars. Be advised!*

Now we're doing Clone Wars. Yeah I know, it took me awhile but it's high time we talk about this series and if you know one thing about me, it's that Star Wars is life. Now I will freely admit I was so against this show when it was on the air you thought I was on a boycott, I refused to watch this show. Cause what was the point? We already have a Clone Wars series from back in 2004, hand drawn animation, created by the same guy who did Samurai Jack Genndy Tartakovsky, fits between Episodes 2 and 3, perfection! Why do we need a damn 3D animated Clone Wars series?? Well after a long time, we're talking like two maybe even three years after the show was cancelled, I finally caved in and watched it on Netflix. In short, I was wrong. This is a brilliant series, it takes everything not so very good about the prequels in every way and improves it to where you love it. And what I kinda like about it is how not only can you pretty much watch whatever episodes you want in any order you want because the show was told through little chunks of story from all over the place in terms of time and space, and to fully understand it just Google "clone wars chronological order" and you will see what I mean. But not only that, the creators were pretty much given free reign to do whatever they wanted with the lore accumulated up until that point and could invent new things. When I heard Anakin had an apprentice, I practically howled betrayal but you know what, I think Ahsoka Tano is one of the best Star Wars characters ever. At first you think she's essentially the Scrappy-Doo of the series but through time you see her grow, develop, and become a great character. You grow to love and care about her very quickly! I feel I need to issue a personal apology to Lucasfilm and Dave Filoni, because I was closed minded and refused to see new Star Wars content. THAT is the true betrayal! They bring a lot of character to new faces and old favorites and that's really what the show is about, the old Clone Wars show was about showing the vast battles and more the spectacle and visuals than story and character. This show is all about the characters. Anakin is not a creepy, violent, utter piece of shit, he's a headstrong, capable, adventurous young Jedi who can leap into action, make a witty retort, and proves to be a great master to Ashoka. Obi-Wan is everything you love about Obi-Wan on steroids, he can make really bad jokes but you laugh regardless, he can be diplomatic, is very strong in the Force, and is a deadly combatant, it really would make Ewan McGregor proud. We get to know more Jedi that we see in the films briefly, and they have more prominent roles each with their own personality, style, and views on the war and the future, I swear you meet a Jedi Master for a grand total of about 4 minutes before he gets killed and you genuinely feel heartbroken. Even Jar Jar Binks has one episode where he isn't completely useless and stupid! Yeah who would have thunk right? And you actually give a damn about the clone troopers, they are not just cgi video game characters used for blaster fodder, they are their own people. If you watch season 1 episode 1, there's a scene where Yoda talks to them and gives them advice and tells them they are not things but living people and how important they are. Stuff like this happens all the time in this show, we meet tons of clones who all have identity and likeability. There was one mission where there was a squadron of clones in Y-Wings, and one got scratched on one of the wings and I legitimately flinched. I did not want to see any of them die, and these were clones you meet for the first time with no past experience. That's some mighty fine writing and characterization. But even the technicals are done well, the lighting, use of color, and each planet and ship having their own unique art design is something to be admired. I have no idea how people do 2D animation, hand drawn or not because that takes time, patience, and understanding of the craft but I am beyond words how you make a complete 3D animated show. The animation quality gets better and better through each season but even the first one has really good animation. I will say there are some episodes you can honestly skip, you can drop about 4 or 5 episodes if you so wish. But that's the beauty of the show, you can watch it anyway you want, I mean sure there is continuity but you still have that freedom to watch any episode arc of your choosing. I can say the best episodes of season 1 are, the Malevolence trilogy, Dooku Captured, the Ryloth trilogy, Clone Cadets and Ambush. So out of 22 episodes, I only dropped 5 episodes so that's not bad. And there's plenty to watch and experience so I'll be back tomorrow for season 2.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

In Retrospect: Glass

This has been a long time coming.

My problem with Glass is the way it ends. The rest of the movie is done very very well, the acting is great, the cinematography and editing is utilized to it's full potential, I appreciate what it means and the events of the film. However! You could have ended it leaps and bounds better. And you know what the sickest part is? I knew exactly what Shyamalan was going for, I completely and totally get the ending. But I, along with many other people have concluded that it fell flat. I had to see this movie again because I was practically radiating rage walking out of that theater so we gotta talk superheroes and the ending so hunker down y'all and avoid everything I say from this point on if you still haven't seen the movie. Okay? Okay. I fully understand the intent of the director, that the mantle of superheroes does not begin and end with our three main characters and that they inspire the future, and more so the fact that it underwhelms the audience with the way it ends. I've been hearing a lot of use of the term "subverting expectations" pretty much since The Last Jedi, I've never heard of it before until then and people started talking about it. This movie does that, they don't end the movie with a grand gesture, a limited edition story with a standoff on top of the tallest building in the city for all to see their extrodinary abilities, but a shocking hard cut that kills every one of our main characters. By this supposed secret organization that has been systematically eradicating superpowered people for over 10,000 years! Did I also mention this organization, or cult, or whatever the flying purple people eating bullshit this is was introduced in the movie, with and I'm not kidding, 21 minutes left in the movie. MINUTES! You don't know their name, or anything about them. And the reason they give is the most misguided pig shit I have ever heard in my life! To justify their actions they claim that "there cannot be gods amongst us" and because it's "not fair." Just....

Okay. I am not saying this is what Shyamalan believes, but I am saying this nonsense cult has no reason to be in the movie and are misguided fools. Allow me to part some wisdom that I have known for years now. Superheroes are the modern day equivalent of medieval knights, specifically the King Arthur knights. They go out and do good, might FOR right, compassion is not weakness, strength is not vital, and the best superhero comics of all time reinforce that. Where they rise above, and protect, and help others. They can inspire greatness in everyone. Superman is known all over the world, his S symbol is the second most known symbol behind the christian cross! And yet even other heroes can do that same thing, illicit that same response, that's why people will say Aquaman, or Black Panther, or Spawn, or any other comic book character is their favorite. They can identify and grow through that hero. It's not that kid power fantasy that so many assume it is, it can go deeper than that. So why not go through with the limited edition story we were promised? They throw the two nurses in the back of the van, drive off to the tower, David is in pursuit, they tear through the tower and get to the roof, there's helicopter cameras all over the place, Elijah is on the loudspeakers doing his thing, David squares off against The Beast, the world sees their amazing feats while Elijah tells the world how he did it all, then David remembers overhearing Kevin's name, uses it against him and throws him off the tower! Kevin dies, then David has to take Elijah in as the world is aghast, Elijah is put behind bars, The Overseer goes undercover while keeping an eye on Mr. Glass and various individuals are inspired to use their amazing gifts for good or for evil. But no! Some nameless assholes shoot Kevin and drown David, and poor Elijah's ribs get crushed by The Beast. I mean, the showoff happened but not at the new tower and it ruins these characters! I was enraged because these characters died, and in really honorless, pathetic, and underwhelming ways and they deserved better. That shows how well they were written and acted because you wanted so much more of them! To see them just offed in such a shitty way makes you upset, and I get that was the intent but was it in best interest of the film series? Through the credits they show a collage of scenes from all the movies signifying those were stepping stones to a bigger picture. And this was it! The buildup and exchanges were done so well, but the payoff felt like you were getting two big middle fingers shoved straight up your ass! Maybe my ending I pitched was too obvious or something(?) but you could imagine that stuff going down with these characters and how awesome and well done it would have been! This series desperately needs a good comic book running where they just take these movie characters and write original stories for them and maybe incorporate this organization and build upon them and give us a 10/10 ending. You could even keep Elijah's knowledge and commentary on comic books for a healthy dose of meta. Up yours Wade Wilson! Totally do that, it'd be better than this intentional anti-climatic betryal of these characters! It's just sad man. I'm happy I'm moving on.

And next week, starting Sunday it's time we talk about one of the best series based off the best movie series ever even to this day!

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

In Retrospect: Ralph Breaks The Internet

I think it got better.

I can seriously spend the next 3 hours of my life endlessly praising the story of Ralph Breaks The Internet, not the progression of the story but more deeper readings. There's tons to love in this movie, you have such a diverse and fun atmosphere in the form of the internet so it never feels dull or like you need more. A lot of people gave Tron Legacy good grief because it didn't go into the internet and was still the closed off server of The Grid, and I didn't take much grievance with that, because the internet is too big a thing. I can appreciate what this movie did but it couldn't have squeezed more of the world and culture of the internet in the time alloted. It was not the point, the point was to take the relationship of Ralph and Vanellope further. And that is the beauty of it, throughout the whole movie Vanellope kinda comes to a crisis in her life, not only does she get kinda existential and asks if there is more to her life than the same old same old with Ralph, and wants more. That is something rarely talked about, let alone in a Disney movie, I mean the closest we got was Belle's big song about wanting something bigger than she can explain in life, but it does such a better job doing it because of their relationship. It's done so well, and the way it ends warrants the price of admission. They have to part ways, Vanellope goes out on her own to a new game and Ralph has to go back to the arcade, but their friendship doesn't end and they acknowledge that it sucks to see a friend go. That's a very important thing for people of all ages, not just kids. It's a very depressing fact of life that the older you get the harder it is to make friends. When you're a kid, you go to school and have homework, that is what stops you from going outside or over to a friend's house and play. And that pretty much stops when you get to high school, then you have to get a part time job and contend with school which makes it a bit harder but certainly not impossible. You can absolutely forge new relationships in college, but when you're full on working it's damn near impossible to go out with friends. So to go back and see such close friends have to go their seperate ways is rough to watch because they build their relationship so well, it's kind of a bummer ending but you know it will be okay. That's....fantastic. I can't see many complaints for this movie, besides we need more Star Wars and Tron because I'm a fanboy and I love me some sci-fi but that's nitpicking like, extreme nitpicking. The animation is excellent, the story is wonderful, the voice acting is perfect scores across the board, I just friggin' love this movie. I have no clue what they could do next but I am certain the wait will be worth it, even if this was the last one I wouldn't complain that much. I'm so happy I saw it again and I hope more people get to, it's worth your time and money and leaves an impact on you. What more could anyone ask? Well we got one more before birthday week, so stick around.

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

In Retrospect: Bumblebee

It's still pretty awesome guys.

Like come on man, the best Transformers movie we've gotten since the animated one and it deserves to just scratch the 5 other movies out with as much white-out that you can get your hands on. And a nuke. I stand by everything I said last time, why did it take six movies to get a awesome Transformers movie? The last two were okay, but were lightyears better than the first three, this one tops them all. I might even like it better than the original 1986 movie but then I think, the movie was part of a show so it's not meant to be seen as a one shot movie. Regardless, I love it. The characters are real and not just cancer inducing comic relief, since Bumblebee is our only main robot character he gets lots of personality and character moments, seeing the 80s is always a joy yo me and the soundtrack is rad man, there's just so much to enjoy and love! I love how much detail you can see in Bumblebee, even though he can't speak you can read his expression and tell how he feels. That's some pretty good effects I must say. I like the story and love all they put in, there wasn't one single moment where I wasn't enjoying myself or rolling my eyes at a horrible joke, or wondering when we get to see the Transformers in a Transformer movie! And I remind you, those are massive pros. Think about that for a second, just read it, and let it sink in. Could you imagine if this was the first Transformers movie in 2007? The world would be a different place for the better. I hear talks of a sequel in this vein of films and you know what I'm ready. Yeah it kinda sucks we won't see Unicron in Transformers 6 but who says they can't do that later in this series? Just retcon it! I know he turns into the Camaro at the end but screw it, I refuse to accept that Bee went from a loving true friendship (or moooore? Just sayin'...) to an abusive relationship if I've ever seen one and trying to form some connection with our emotionally angry, narcissistic, Napoleon complex "hero". Ffffffffffu-

I am not a fan of him. But let's talk about better things. This is my happy place, in my world there's good Transformers movies, and we'll put some little bushes and rocks over here, just like that....mmmkay, and the soundtrack is wonderful. I would be very content with a 2 hour deleted scene where Charlie and Bee lounge around in the garage and listen to music. I would give the movie a sterling near perfect score for just a movie about that. That is good characters! But the action is good to, with very few edits, well placed shots, and very easily identifiable opposing factions even when they grapple and throw each other. Color is your friend, why do you think everyone knows who Optimus and Bumblebee is, because they have color unlike the Decepticons who were all gray. In this one, we get reds, blues, purples, you can so easily discern who is who. It really does take every major problem with all the past Transformers movies and fixes it. It's amazing. I always must give credit where credit is due, and it is due here. I bought this movie with a smile on my face, even though I haven't felt that super recently. It was a good day! Solid 4 stars, 8/10, a definite buy, and here is to many more great movies. I always got your back Bee. And for God's sake let Charlie come back so they can continue their wholesome, wonderful, and lovely relationship. You can't change my mind, they're cute together!

Friday, April 12, 2019

Hellboy (2019)

Wasn't bad as I thought!

I feel I should take the mentality of when I saw Dumbo when it comes to remakes or what have you, simply think of it as another story about this character. You can have your favorites and sure there will be superior and inferior versions but don't judge before you see. Open mind, and all that. This Hellboy was okay, I still greatly prefer the del Toro version but hey it's really not that bad. It's a fun comic book adventure with Hellboy facing against a witch who was around in King Arthur's time, and to kind of come to terms with who and what he is. David Harbour does a fine job, he's a pretty rad fella from interviews and the like and treats the character with respect. You always will get half a star if you put Ian McShane in anything and he's different than John Hurt but still fits in this movie and does a great job! I do have one tiny issue with this girl Alice, who in the comics was an item with the big lug and in this one she looks 16, which is funny cause she's only a handful of months older than me but beyond that I like her just fine. Milla Jovovich is a fine villain and actually has some motivation to being evil. Special props to still keeping some creature effects while still doing cgi, it's always greatly appreciated and looks pretty damn good. It's an okay movie, despite it's 5.5 star rating on IMDB and it's crushing 13% on Rotten Tomatoes which just puts further evidence to the fact that I don't agree with Rotten Tomatoes ever, it's a fine basic reboot that gives us a new Hellboy and a new story. Granted it's more a rental than a go out and watch it now, but I'm sure it will have it's fans now and in the future and that's no bad thing to me!

Now we can finally look back on some stuff, I know I've been practically a decade late revisiting movies like Aquaman and Bumblebee, but don't worry. Next week we go back for second helpings.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Man I feel like an asshole for waiting over 10 years to see this movie.

No really, Hellboy 2 is a sequel that may not surpass the original but is done just as great with tons to love and enjoy. So we pick up a few years after the first, the big red lug and Liz are a couple, Abe is still the same old Abe, and the world actually comes in contact with Hellboy. No out of focus photos, or rumors, I mean eye to eye on camera for all to see. I greatly like that the movie expands on the first mobie and does new things, like any true sequel should and the stuff they do warrants more love and attention for this movie. The fact that we get more fantasy influence in this, with elves, trolls, goblins, and even stone giants like in The Hobbit, even our main villain looks like King Thranduil, brings a lot to the table! You see more creature effects, new environments, interesting lore, I mean del Toro does it again and brings his stamp of quality on all aspects of production. Sets are well constructed and detailed, practical effects are commonplace with computer graphics used when necessary, a very good story made almost exclusively for the movie with no comic book history. The big reason I had an absolute blast with this movie is not only is the comedy more pronounced, you know with the first one it was a fairly serious story with bits of comic relief but with this one while still telling a very good story and knows when to be serious has a lot of laughs. There's a scene where Hellboy and Abe get drunk on beer and sing a love ballad, and it is utterly fantastic. It sounds ridiculous but when you watch the movie you're really gonna enjoy it. I love how they progress the characters, Hellboy is much of the same but is maintaining a relationship with Liz and gets some news before all is said and done, Abe is still the best part of both movies and I love him to death and even gets a girlfriend which is you know wonderful, Liz gets more character and time devoted to her, we even get this weird class 3 full roaming vapor in a steampunk robot suit with a german accent and you know what, I rolled with it pretty quick! I mean once you see as much as I have seen, you grow accepting of things no matter how ludicrous they are. So yeah solid sequel, fun abound for all, great quality in production and acting, and it's such a shame this movie came out one week before The Dark Knight. Yes, I'm serious. If Dark Knight was pushed back even 2 weeks, we'd probably have Hellboy 3 today. And boy howdy, is this new one going to have to impress me. Granted I'll keep an open mind but when Hellboy looks and kinda acts like that dweeby bounty hunter in Ready Player One I'm not holding high expectations. But dear lord, I've been proven wrong tons before on this show and it won't stop anytime soon so see you Friday.

Monday, April 8, 2019


Yeah, now we're talking.

Not gonna lie, I digged this movie even back in 2004, I was 9 years old and loved this movie and honestly it's as good as I remember it! It's a passion project by del Toro of a comic book not many people knew of but it worked and I really enjoyed it. It starts off pretty good with voiceover from John Hurt as we see some weird natzi science/occult experiment led by Rasputin of Anastasia fame, Ilsa she wolf of the SS, and a character with such a sleek design you almost don't care he's a nazi officer, being interrupted by american forces. Apparently the hotsie totsie nazis were trying to pull a Great Old One or perhaps an Eldar God from a dimension to conquer Earth, and somehow a little baby Hellboy was brought into this world, how I really don't know but whatever we got our movie now. Flash forward a good 60 years and Hellboy along with John Hurt and good ol' Doug Jones in Shape Of Water makeup once more, have themselves a defense force tasked to deal with monsters and retrieve occult items, and pretty soon Rasputin is on the move again ready to bring another Lovecraftian horror into the world so it's time to save the world again. First off, Ron Perlman is Hellboy those are some big shoes to fill, so we shall see Friday if they have. But he does it so well! He looks the part, talks the part, can kick ass and joke, pretty much perfection. John Hurt is awesome as always, and brings some heart to the movie. Doug Jones is excellent, makeup or not and can be really funny and has good brief moments that have a heavier atmosphere to it. That's what I really love about this movie, it can tell a story and have some heavy moments but it has a sense of humor and can give good comedy. It's very accesible almost to the point where I wonder why we have this fish out of water character Myers, because Hellboy and Abe Sapien aren't super weird or hard to read. I could follow everything they did and not be confused, so why do we need a newcomer to introduce everything? Besides to avoid prequel syndrome? I don't know. He's not really that integral and kinda boring, it's like one of two things I actually don't like in this movie. I also greatly love and appreciate the use of practical effects, they only use cgi if it's necessary, great makeup, excellent monster costumes, the sets are good sized and detailed, they do everything right! It's a solid, very enjoyable, awesome movie. I was genuinely surprised how well it held up over literally 15 years. Jeezus I am old. And next time we will look at the sequel that I have never seen despite my love for the first. Why? Beats me man, but I'm interested to see what's next!

Friday, April 5, 2019


That was fun, let's do it again!

Well the reactions are true, Shazam is a great fun superhero movie! I will admit I only knew bits and pieces about Captain Marvel, so this is my first proper introduction and I want to know more! I like how it's a fun superhero movie, now I love the more dark stuff out there like The Dark Knight and Watchmen but sometimes you just want to have fun and this film greatly delivers. When talks started and we were getting DeWayne Johnson as Captain Marvel I though that was a good choice and Zachary Levi does an outstanding job. Cause you have to remember Captain Marvel is a kid who was granted superpowers so you need an adult actor that captures the spirit of a child and he does that incredibly well, I also like the fact that he doesn't start saving people and being heroic, he's a kid who just so happens to look like an adult so he goes off and does adult stuff because that is what you would do! If you were 11 or 12 years old and got superpowers just like him, you'd do this stuff too! He's not always a nice kid, he can be greedy, he can be a bit stuck up, he can put his needs before others, that's being a kid so I don't wanna hear any, "Oh Captain Marvel isn't a hero! He didn't do anything until the end!" annoying crap like that. He learns and takes some responsibility, he grows into the character. The only thing I really hated was how they teased Superman, because unfortunately Henry was shooting the Mission Impossible movie so he couldn't commit to the part and that sucks, they would have great scene chemistry! Beyond that, it's a good two thumbs up from me! But where do we go from now? We have the Joaquin Phoenix Joker movie coming out this October but beyond that....? I have no idea. We're getting another Wonder Woman movie sometime soon but beyond that I have no clue. So it's interesting to see what DC will have for us in the future.

Well that's all for now, but our comic book buisness isn't finished yet. Tune in next week for more!

Wednesday, April 3, 2019


I don't get the hate.

You would have thought Dumbo personally butchered people's inner child with how much bad word of mouth this movie got. Now I will freely admit, I never watched Dumbo as a kid. I owned the VHS tape but I never watched it. So is that why I'm not shrieking betrayal from the highest mountain into the lowest valley?? I saw a decent cute kids movie. I only had two major problems with the movie which we will get to, so the movie follows a travelling circus who just got an elephant and before long she has a kid, a cute little pachyderm named Dumbo with adult sized ears. Two kids form a connection with Dumbo while their dad has returned from World War 1 and readjusting to circus life. Some stuff happens and sadly Dumbo is seperated from his mother and forced into the circus as a flying elephant. The press attracts an amusement park owner played by Michael Keaton who takes on the whole circus as his employees and wants Dumbo as the main attraction. More stuff happens which lets us meet more new characters including a trapeze artist named Colette played by the practically perfect in every way Eva Green before they find Dumbo's momma and plan to free both of them. It's a decent movie, it's not insulting to your intelligence or panders to the really young kids out there, it just shows a story about a flying elephant. I feel bad I can't compare notes on new and old, but it's worth a rental in the future. Colin Farrell is a decent lead, Eva Green is wonderful as always, Michael Keaton hits an almost Christopher Walken level of acting where you're not too sure what he's doing but he's so damn entertaining you don't mind and he is the best part of the movie, the kids are okay. I take that back, one of the kids is okay, the young boy does okay but the girl....I don't want to bash on her but she does not act. She's supposed to be a scientific orientated character but that doesn't mean you're a Vulcan! She has one face and it never changes even when she sees an elephant fly before her little eyes! It's like watching a doll act, black eyes, lifeless eyes. I mean I'm not trying to be an asshole but we have movies and entire critically acclaimed series with all kid leads and they do pretty dang good. I just don't understand. I am severely disappointed at the handling of the Pink Elephants, I was expecting a real experimental, crazy, Tim Burton style musical number but they don't do anything with it. I saw this movie for two reasons, Michael Keaton and the Pink Elephants. You delivered on one but failed on the other. But beyond that it's fine. Dumbo's cute and seeing him fly is really cool to see, and I didn't walk out of the theater in a ball of hate and betrayal. Somehow I knew this would happen. Fair warning though if you aren't a clown fan, I am because clowns are very entertaining and fun, they have a presence. It's not overwhelming but you know if they scare you, steer clear. I give it a thumbs up. Worse than Beauty & The Beast my foot, did you see that movie? Ugh, I'm disgusted just thinking about it. Give it a try when it hits video and I will see you Friday for the next DC superhero movie!

Monday, April 1, 2019

The Disaster Artist

Happy April Fool everybody. Ha ha.

Okay I know I'm not talented enough to do a Tommy Wiseau impression the whole review, but after watching this movie I can't stop talking like him. It's second nature now, people are looking at me like, "What the f*** is your malfunction Dude?" and I'm just like, "Ha ha. It's okay. No problem don't worry 'bout it. Anyway how's your sex life?" I can't stop it. Somebody please help me. Ohh God. Here we go. I really enjoy this movie, this is a good movie, and I have got to get my hands on the book The Disaster Artist because I need to know everything about this production. Because if even 80% of this movie is the cold hard facts of life that happened in 2003, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. It's very much like Ed Wood, the Tim Burton movie Ed Wood not the director. It celebrates Tommy's vision and his commitment to the movie but ridicules and pokes fun at him too. It's this generations Ed Wood in every sense, the exact set design and attention to detail, the showing of various filmed scenes with a behind the scenes central story. Honestly the more I think about it, I honestly think James Franco ripped Burton off to the letter at how exact each movie plays out the same. It's craziness man! Does that mean I hate the movie? No. But it is very much like it, and that's okay. It really did give a great sense of perspective at the end, you know, how people and critics especially can absolutely decimate someone's movie. They had a vision, made it happen, believed in it every single step of the way, and a critic can just smash their work into tiny pieces. But at the end of the day it's just opinion, and if you have a great passion and love for something you want to do, to create something and present it to the world by all means do it. That's something I can take comfort in, yeah we make fun of The Room and Tommy but there is a sense of respect and appreciation. He made a highly entertaining movie known the world over, and has a substantial cult following. Good for him, that's more than what I've done. I'm just a little chicken, cheep cheep cheep cheep! Oh f*** me in the ass tonight, make it stop! I need a drink, I'm losing it. Uh, what else? The performances were spot on, both in terms of movie accuracy and individual performances. James nails it, sort of embellishes it but whatever, don't worry about it. Ha ha. I can't breathe. Damn it Johnny, not now! I gotta finish my review! Dave Franco does a good job though he isn't the spitting image of Greg Sestero but whatever, it's a movie. It's shot very nicely, major shoutout to Molly Mullally who plays Greg's mom, I thought you were lovely. I'm off track, go see it. What a story Franco. Oh my God, I can't stop are tearing me apart Tommy!! Er'body betray me, I am fed up with this worl!!!