Poor Things

Boy do I feel like an utter asshole for missing this movie.

I saw the trailer, I was intrigued, and I'm not sure if either the movie didn't make it down here or I was just busy with other stuff but the fact I'm only just now getting to it is a crying shame in my eyes. Where the hell do I start?? I'd be amazed if there was any satisfactory synopsis of this picture but best I can describe it is, if you took elements of Frankenstein and combined it with essentially the story of a woman maturing, exploring, and finding her place set amidst this steampunk late 19th century world, and add a healthy dash of bizzare. It it unashamedly out there, with dry wit, great humor, and an expansive story that you have zero clue where it's going to go. Emma Stone is our lead as Bella Baxter and I think it's safe to say this is my favorite performance of hers bar none, to explain the character would pretty much involve me spelling out all the details of the story, so all I'll say is fantastic casting. Willem DaFoe plays her parental figure affectionately called God, I love the design of the character and the scientific bluntness of his lines, he's more prominent at the start but has a strong anchor that bookends the film. Ramy Youssef as young scientist Max has the most minor role of our main cast but still stands strong despite it, acting as a love interest for Bella who is not only accepting but passionate for her. Mark Ruffalo, again might honestly be my favorite role of his, he just gets to go out there and play this utter scoundrel of a foppish socialite but may be the funniest part of the movie, his performamce is grand in every sense and never failed to make me shake my head and quote Nandor The Relentless with "Fucking guy.". Those are the prominent main players but even the supporting cast down to even individuals you see in just one scene are great, all adding to this surreal fever dream of a world that we travel. I have never ever seen a movie pummeled with opulence, sweet Christmas these outfits, these sets, the sky itself is shocking to admire! I mean the phrase, spared no expense comes to mind, and my God what a delight it must have been to be a concept artist or set designer on this film. Phenomenal. I feel the movie has so much intelligence to it, heavy portions of commentary and flat out parodying are abound of the time period, the customs, specifically the relationship between man and woman, there is zero doubt this was completely intentional. With this and Lisa Frankenstein I hope the trend continues for quirky ass, slightly dark, romantic, reanimation type cinema! It's a bonkers movie but ceaselessly entertaining. Utterly fascinating though to view this from my perspective, cause I'll be upfront I'm autistic as fuck, I've never even came within a country mile of a relationship, and frankly speaking leaning into that asexual side of things, so to be on the outside looking in and having a disconnect from the sex and the complex emotions somewhat akin to our protagonist (whoring notwithstanding), I feel I got a lot out of this movie and deepened my perspective of women in a strange sense. It's probably the most feminist coded film I've ever seen without bashing you over the head with it, it's there but it's subtle. Yet can it be enjoyed just as a movie on it's own? Oh, absolutely! Well worth the time seeing even if it might not fully be up your alley, I'm accustomed to the strange and unusual so I was there pretty much from the word go. Great damn film in my estimation, 4 stars across the board, 9/10! And next time I'll be hitting up another modern movie that grabbed my attention.

In Retrospect: Cruella

Oh honey, you knew I couldn't stay away for long.

What the hell was I thinking giving this an 8.5/10? F*** off, it's better than that! God I took too long to see this again. So big spoiler alert incoming, I still love this movie and I appreciate it even more now. Emma Stone, heaven help me I will crush on you forever in this movie, I cherish you, you are unbelievably good, and because of that performance people will choose sides on who's best. I was too busy revelling just like her in this performance but on a somewhat deeper analysis the second go around she gets a lot of emotion and such creativity and drama too in her performance. I genuinely got some goosebumps when she has the big confession scene and she says, "I am not like her. I am better." and the movie still gets a rise out of me (you filthy bastards shut it) where even though I know what's going to happen I'm still like, oh-ho you go girl punch the f*** out of her! I still get so invested in the story, and a tremendous deal of that goes to Emma Thompson. I mean my God, it's been a minute since I've seen a movie villain so heavily narcissistic and so easily hateable but in the most enjoyable way, just how flippant and yet so mean she is just wows me everytime. Now we got to talk about the stuffs I couldn't talk about before, because of the twists. I wasn't hating the fact Cruella was the Baroness' daughter, bit soap opera but I can roll with it. I really and truly have no issue at all what they do with classic Disney characters as long as they are interesting, fun, and memorable characters despite their own unique spins. My God people get so up in arms over the silliest things. Oh she can't like dogs, oh they softened her up for the kids, blah blah shut the hell up blah, I have no patience for closed mindedness. Yeah, it's pretty screwed up to want to skin dogs for a coat but I didn't hear people get so up in arms over Glenn who people adore in this role and I know it's a younger Cruella and the Cruella we have always seen is a bitter, old, terrible woman so she has time to grow into that. So it's different. Different and good! Huzzah, rejoice for it is not a shot for shot remake of 101 Dalmatians. Innovation, it's grrreat! This tangent will never die but it will be placed back in the box...for now. Okay so the Reichenbach Fall, I loved the idea, totally thought she was gonna either push the Baroness off or pull her off arm in arm, I mean we already had one murder onscreen, onward to two warp factor 1! My only issue is we see how she survived the fall, I didn't like it in the theater and I sorta don't like it now, I would have kept it a mystery because it can be symbolic that Disney villains never die because they are so amazing or something. But I mean those are two brief small problems I have with a movie I love unconditionally. It's great, it's fun, it has it's own style and identity, the story is entertaining and not too out there, the performances are top notch, the design of...everything is class, the music is so much of what I love. We are bumping this baby up and I...may put it at number 1 for the top 10 list. Just saying. I'm not backing down, it's a contender. 4 stars, 9.5/10, I could feel the collective disgust and hate of Disney purists out there and it just gave me a little bit of a thrill, mm that felt nice. Kind of a good buzz going here so let's keep it going with one more before the month of nightmares begins.

Cruella

Not at all a bad film to review for the 800th mark.

Yes, we got that far. And sweet lord did I love this movie, I mean if you asked me before what live action Disney movie was my favorite I'd say The Jungle Book, and after this movie I do not think Cruella can be topped. I had precisely zero idea what on earth they would do with this story, and I was grabbed, intrigued, made incredibly happy, and even kinda wanted a continuation as credits rolled. A lot of people were pointing and crying Joker at the trailer and I strongly disagreed, knowing they would do their own thing entirely and make something good which they did. Shock of all shocks, I'm right. Again. They tipped their hat to that film in their own way but the way the story progresses, shifts and molds to show how Cruella came to be was handled very well I thought. Now I know some people would shriek contrivances abound in this movie, but it could have been handled a lot more hamfisted and it could have fell flat hard. Like dropping a sack of puppies falls hard. But seeing Estella as a young girl (and yes that is future daughter goals to me) who after suffering a tragedy meets up with two thiefs Jasper and Horace and pretty much finds her own identity, oh and plots revenge which might be the most worthless of causes but there's something different when she does it. Am I being too shameless? Yes. Terribly. Hell I could almost argue the whole point of the picture is a take on finding your true persona and characteristics, no compromises. And it is a gradual shift from Estella to Cruella, it's not just one bad day and then bam there she is in all her splendor and fashion, in fact the film just has good pacing and knows when to linger on a shot and when to cut. I caught myself many a time catching on the long takes, and sort of intricate camera movements, I see you Birdman long take you cheeky bastard I see you, so the cinematography is very good. The sets are very well done, each having a personality, and since the film has a great emphasis on fashion you get a lot of that 70s style to it which I was digging quite a lot. The soundtrack, holy great balls of fire, this soundtrack is excellent. You get like 2 points just for playing The Doors, I swear half the movie I was foot tapping and lip syncing, it was made for me. And Emma...my God! I never knew I needed Emma Stone with red hair, almost exclusively and exquisite black outfits, and a british accent. Where has this been my whole life and how have I lived without it? She was outstanding in this role and while I feel you can't compare Glenn and Emma because they are so different in their potrayals, she was excellent. I just had such a great time with it, even when it treaded close to silly or ridiculous it never inhibited my enjoyment or love for it, I've seen many a ludicrous thing in my time so I can roll with all of this. The comedy I felt wasn't busting your gut laughing but it got me often, and I appreciate a more slight giggle and brief guffaw than laugh out loud personally. The plot albeit gets a bit soap opera but the life of Cruella DeVil has to be heavily dramatic to some extent, so hey you just be you movie I can't hold a grudge. If she flat out murdered a dog though it would have gotten a 10/10, I don't hate dogs or anything but come on, though this movie gets a touch dark and doesn't really dumb it down for kids in a way where adults could not take it seriously. It commits to it and bless them for that alone. 4 stars, 8.5/10, yes I meant that, and another month gone. I'll be taking my usual break but I'll be back in time for Scarlett don't you worry, I've been waiting for that day for a long time so I will see you then.

Birdman (Or The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)

There's not a better way to start reviewing movies than to review the Best Picture winner at the Oscars.

Okay first and foremost, I totally called that Birdman would win Best Picture at the Oscars. It was either going to be that or The Imitation Game. And I was right!

Now, I really don't want to give you the full plot of Birdman because, it is a fantastic movie and you should see it if you haven't already. But I will give you a synopsis of it. So Birdman stars Michael Keaton as this washed up actor who used to play Birdman about twenty years ago and his career hasn't gone smoothly in the last few years, and he is currently working on a Broadway play. And he is putting everything into this play and he hopes that it will really pay off. Michael Keaton was a genius casting choice for this, because this parallels his life as an actor who used to be famous for playing a comic book character. And there actually was a really funny nod to him when he stopped being Birdman in 1992, and that was the same year he last played Batman. But he is not the only really good actor in this movie, there are tons of them. Edward Norton plays one of his supporting characters in the play and he really makes me laugh, Emma Stone plays Michael Keaton's daughter who is the harsh voice of reality in this movie, we got Zach Galifianakis who plays Michael Keaton's manager who also is his best friend and they got good chemistry in the film, among many others. I really can't find much wrong with this movie, the acting is great, the music is catchy as hell so much so that if there is a soundtrack to this movie I would buy it, the dialogue feels completely real like, this is how normal people would talk, there is an exception in one scene but it is meant to sound corny and stupid so it still holds up, the camera work is an experience, because it looks like the film is shot in almost one continuous take, and yes there are transitions and you can spot them but it is a fluid moving film, the camera is constantly moving and it looks great. There are so many scenes in this movie that I found to be really damn good, like in one scene Michael Keaton's character is talking to this theater critic and this critic is absolutely horrible and he says stuff to her that you wish you could say to some critics because they are so cruel. And another scene is where Emma Stone's character talks to her dad and she really is the harsh voice of reality, saying her dad is just trying to be relevant again just like so many other people in today's world. It's just such a great film that everyone should see if they want a movie that is a little different than most movies that come out today. And when I say different, I mean different. Michael Keaton's character has this split personality who talks to him and it's the voice of Birdman and he can move stuff with his mind and fly, I absolutely love it. I love strange, different kinds of movies where you go into it and you are not really sure what to expect. You'll see what I mean cause I will leave a link at the end for the trailer of the movie and you can judge for yourself whether you would want to see it or not. Overall, Birdman was a fantastic movie and I really enjoyed it. I believed it deserved the Best Picture award hands down.


Alright, so that is it for my very first review. Thank you so much for reading this, I really appreciate it. Give the trailer a watch and see if this looks like the kind of movie you would want to see or maybe even buy.


Birdman Trailer: https://youtu.be/uJfLoE6hanc