The End Of Oak Street

No matter how old I get, dinosaurs are still cool.

Okay, not bad! Admittedly when I saw the trailer for this movie I didn't really know what to expect besides basic plot, through mysterious occurences a neighborhood is thrust into a prehistoric world where a family must survive in a time when dinosaurs ruled the earth, and that's an original plot enough to grab my attention. Credit where credit is due they treat the subject material as real and as serious as a heart attack, like I don't think a lot of the reactions and reasoning are far off from natural and it digs into the drama of the family unit just a little bit with enough to get you invested. Anne Hathaway is put through the wringer with this whole ass ordeal even before the strange lights in the sky herald a new age, but she's a committed parent and not a half bad shot with a rifle so she had my support with a rock solid performance. Ewan my man my handsome devil of a man had my heart, as a dad who may not be one for confrontation but has undeniable love for his kids and despite some rocky terrain with his missus pulls through in a very unexpected way. Maisy Stella is very much the emotional crux of the film for me with little moments spread throughout where she's just grappling with the situation and seeing her help people where she can made her a shining light in a somewhat grim movie. Christian Convery despite some elements of his story that I feel was left on the cutting room floor is a tremendously convincing teen without being a wiseass, and of course he has a dog in this for emotional weight so what fun. In terms of the dinosaurs I do believe this is the first film I've seen where they are more scientifically accurate at least in terms of appearance, they still look great and I'm never one to deny scientific fact but it's hard to shed 30 years of being told this is what a dinosaur looks like. Regardless they still have an imposing almost non-stop dominion over the film, it did kinda make me laugh just how many carnivores they encounter with like maybe three herbivores, like man the odds are so stacked against them! And this might aggravate the piss fire out of some people and maybe I'm wiggling my toes a little deep in the spoiler pool, but I actually loved the fact they never explain why the shit any of this is happening. Not a hint, not a statement. Is it aliens? Maybe. Is it some futuristic science experiment? Beats me! Either way someone is seriously screwing with the space-time continuum. I will also say if you're going in this to see people get munched on and torn to shreds you will be somewhat disappointed, it's pretty much a drama film but a very good drama film that just so happens to have feathered beasts in tow. It could have very easily been this mad rush adventure or survival action movie but it did something completely different and for that it has my immense respect. I give it 3 stars, 7/10, and we really do not have much left for the month to be real so I shall return in time, and God help me when September rolls around.

Forbidden Fruits

Fuck me this movie infuriated me.

It's not even bad, far from it actually! But holy fuckaroli did half our main cast just piss me off, which in all reality means the performances were damn good. If someone can make you run a gambit of emotions with a performance including rage, that is a great performance! So the story goes a new girl who works at a mall is quickly inaugurated in a bitchy coven where over the course of several months it starts breaking down and ends in blood. Props for all the Texas love, but I'm still iffy on this film. Let's just get into the nitty gritty here folks, the cast. Major hardcore props to all the actresses who bring so much personality and even dramatics to the role! We have Lola Tung as new girl Pumpkin, and I was not expecting her arc going from a rather sweet and inexperienced at life girl into for lack of a better word the second worst monster of the film. Cause you think oh she's gonna challenge the hierarchy and be a positive force who eventually will have to fight the head of the coven but she degenerates into a blackmailing and sort of still complicit member so there is no catharsis found there. Then we have the bane of my existence Apple played to stunning perfection by Lili Reinhart. This...fucking...****. It has been ages since I have utterly despised a character more, a true masterclass in manipulation, fear mongering, bitchiness, and pure control freak behavior. It's truly a marvel to behold and once again no catharsis or justice found with her journey, which nearly made me torch the theater. But like I said, fantastic performance to even illicit such feelings so brava to you my dear! Then we move onto to Alexandra Shipp as Fig, who really is the first fracture in the coven wanting to branch out and do her own thing and her brief moments of relationships and interests were nice to see, and Alexandra was a joy to watch! Last but not at all least we have Victoria Pedretti as Cherry who at first seems like a total ditzy blonde but has the largest arc and really is the star of the dramatics due to her character's tragic past, just damn she really kinda swept me off my feet and easily was my favorite of the group! Well done and high praise to all these fine actors who really and truly carry the film in it's entirety on their backs. But yeahhhh, I was not thrilled with where this story went. It moves at a brisk pace and has decent production values with some good gore effects, pretty decent comedy, hell I was digging the shit out of the soundtrack, and a message I've never truly seen in cinema: Toxic femininity. But I'm so split down the middle with it! In terms of production it's like a 7.5/10, but in terms of enjoyment it's like a 3/10. So what the hell do I even give this? It's not a movie I'd really watch again, but that doesn't mean it's bad. It's not, it is a very well acted, well directed movie that just so happened to make me rage at a screen which I haven't done in a long while. It's certainly memorable! So ehh, I'll give it...2.5 stars, 6.5/10, with a caveat the size of the goddamn Grand Canyon.

Wild At Heart

Ideas truly are beautiful and abstract.

To say the death of David was a crushing blow would be an understatement, I've never really had a favorite director ever in my life but David easily was one of my favorite people on this planet. And I'm not sure if I have ever reviewed every movie from a director before but we are gonna wrap up David's theatrical films this week. Wild At Heart might honestly be my favorite movie of his, Blue Velvet was great, Mulholland Drive was interesting and complex, and even Eraserhead had strong appeal for me, but this movie for one reason or another has my love more than the others. Following a deeply passionate couple Sailor and Lula, who decide to make a trek to California while being trailed by men hired by Lula's own mom to stop them from being together is a simple but very endearing story. I buy the romance between the two, these young, foolish, sex crazed kids who truly are wild at heart and have a us against the world mentality speaks to me deeply. Of course it has all the wonderful beautiful quirks of David's writing and I was shocked to know it was a novel first, and I think I came up with a satisfactory term for his movies after all this time. David Lynch movies are weirdly engaging, this movie being no exception! The fact alone Nicolas Cage is in a David Lynch movie should be all the reason you need to watch this to begin with, with this swagger and voice almost a breathing return of Elvis Aaron Presley and a persona fit to burst with energy it's hard not to get swept up in the scenes. Same goes for Laura Dern who went against all types and personal restraints as Lula, and I'm not just saying this because she gets nekkid a bit in this movie but she has never looked more attractive and electric on the screen and I adore Tidbit! She really is solid gold in this movie and truth be honest may be my favorite performance of her career. I was a bit stunned to see so many Twin Peaks alumni present here and memory fails me which was coming out first in 1990 but it was a blast to see Sherilyn Fenn, Grace Zabriskie, Jack Nance, and Sheryl Lee pop up for a bit. Even Isabella Rossellini and Harry Dean Stanton are in the cast, you love to see continuity between productions and lord knows seeing friends make movies will never get old to me. The setting around Texas makes a native like me happy and the dust filled empty streets and sun blasted buildings almost give it a modern day western vibe at times. The editing has a lot more emphasis on flashbacks and a strong fascination with flames, which just goes to show no matter how many of David's films you have seen not a single damn one looks or even feels alike but still strangely has that aura where you couldn't mistake it for anyone else's movie. The Angelo Badalamenti score has that almost speakeasy sound to it but can clobber you with eerie punctuation to certain imagery, but it's lovely as always and the music choices are varied and unique. It was a fascinating ride to be on for this and not just because of the horrible news, I really had no clue where it was going but easily had the backs of our two leads all the way. I'm sure this probably is one of David's least talked about films, even though I knew next door to nothing about it but it's kinda leaning on my #1 spot in the filmography. But let me be clear that is a subjective stance and not an objective stance, if someone told me Blue Velvet was objectively the best David Lynch film I doubt I could argue much, but for my money Wild At Heart was just the right kind of engaging, entertaining, and funny that I needed in this time and place in the world. 4 stars, 8.5/10, and next time we touch on the movie that seems to have the most divisive rift of all David’s films with Inland Empire.

Nosferatu The Vampyre

Slightly redundant title but that's about as bad as it gets here.

I'm about to say some controversial shit. I like this better than the original, now that's coming from someone who loves the original Nosferatu and has great respect along with vast appreciation for silent cinema, and indeed it's easy with more modern film techniques and different actors for something to be improved upon. But even I was kinda shocked how much I loved this movie! Obviously it takes after the silent film more than the novel Dracula so the plot differs little while still doing it's own thing, and I feel Werner Herzog did a resoundingly succesful job directing this movie! Taking a very naturalist approach with tons of location shooting, handheld camera sequences, and doing everything in camera with little to no post production trickery. The crown jewel of this movie for me is Jonathan's trek to the Carpathian mountains, the music, the so good I'm honestly pissed scenery, the atmosphere and buildup getting to Dracula's castle is nothing but 10/10 for my money's worth! And that is already on top of a stellar film, it never got dull for a second and I was quickly engrossed, Robert you got a high bar to surpass come tomorrow my friend. The cast fully sealed the deal for me on this one, I haven't seen that many Werner Herzog films but I've been around the block enough to know his rocky ass relationship with Klaus Kinski who is an effectively creepy and great Dracula, taking a more tragic lens to the character and his mannerisms and voice differentiate him from Max Schreck but also rises to his level of greatness. Isabelle Adjani who plays Lucy instead of Mina, common trend believe it or not in adaptations of the Bram Stoker novel, is hauntingly beautiful I mean if she isn't some kind of inspiration for goth girls globally what even in the hell?? She has such a look that does nothing but compliment the slightly gothic aesthetic and I greatly appreciate the fact she does not bullshit about and gets stuff done herself, she tells the Count to remove himself from her presence and that's badassery if I've ever seen it! Bruno Ganz is a solid Jonathan Harker and has a pretty interesting role near the end to say the least which I did not see coming, and the fear and hysteria he conveys is very believable. The look of the film alone is a character in and of itself, maybe it's the 70s film stock, maybe it's just how the set designers and costume department did their fine work, but something about this movie is vastly appealing to me and I feel like a complete jackass not watching this sooner in my life. This would have been an excellent introductory horror film for me between the ages of 10 to 13 that would have gotten me so into the genre. It's kinda hard to articulate why I love it as much as I do, I just know that I adore the movie and couldn't recommend it higher to be perfectly clear. Solid story no doubt but all the details of the production beyond that are phenomenal. It most definitely isn't gonna be everyone's cup of tea, but hot damn am I gonna have to watch this again in the future. 4 stars across the board, 8.5/10, and for once in what feels like an eternity I am excited for Christmas Day.

Sonic The Hedgehog 3

Best of the series?

I do genuinely think it is the most fun and entertainment I've personally had at one of these movies. They did have me sold full truth here since the end of the last movie on Shadow alone, so I was very much looking forward to this. And if you've seen the trailer you know the gist, Shadow has escaped containment and is battling team Sonic (cute reference) while Robotnik meets his long lost grandpappy as they command a doomsday weapon. Solid plot for a video game movie, and speaking as an individual who has really only played five Sonic games, Sonic 1 & 2, Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, and Sonic Heroes but has beat precisely zero of them I loved seeing all the easter eggs and especially Shadow's backstory seen on the big screen. Since we already know most of the players let's talk about our new arrivals. Keanu Reeves though not my immediate first choice for Shadow conveys everything you need to know and does do a damn fine job juggling the heartbreak, rage, and initial confusion to his origins in the flashback scenes and it was absolutely awesome to see so many nods to his character from the games, motorcycle and guns included! As for Robotnik Sr. I was very surprised to see him as the true threatning villain, sure he has his moments of humor but at the end of the day he is a serious villain and I applaud Jim for being able to bring both sides to the table, plus the guy is a manipulative bastard and it like works too and doesn't feel slapdash in the writing. Commendable! I'll add on a brief opinion of seeing Sonic actually buckle the hell down and get serious even vengeful was a good move and added more to his character. I was hoping and praying they wouldn't do the thing, I didn't say anything cause I didn't want to jinx it, but they can't let a trilogy be a trilogy. Granted it was even I'll admit a great mid credits scene but come on! We went out on a relatively high note, with multiple instances of goosebumps at the climax, it's a solid made film with very good production values, the writing and humor still worked for me, it did what every sequel should do, and I was very happy to see it! We had a pretty healthy attendance at the screening and hearing the kids get so excited seeing stuff like Shadow and the Chao's while also laughing at Jim Carrey put me in a good mood. Thumbs up from me, 3 stars, 7.5/10! And next week is the end and what more of a perfect day to end it on than Christmas, at least it'll be a spooky Christmas...

Wicked

Well that kinda ruins Wizard Of Oz for me.

Not even because it's bad, far from it but this story does indeed take things from a certain point of view. Now I haven't seen the musical, frankly I feel like I should after seeing the movie, so we just gotta go off the movie as gospel. I bet most people didn't know the musical itself is based off a book painting the Wicked Witch as a more sympathetic character and is one of the few villain origin stories I know of. So we follow the life of Elphaba from childhood transitioning into her magic school years where she's horribly ostricized by her peers but makes an unlikely friend in the most popular witch Glinda before getting swept up in this plot that I just can't fully divulge into. For a film pushing nearly 3 hours with credits it breezed by and I like the pace of it, presumably this is act 1 before the intermission on stage so it doesn't have to rush anything. Granted I wasn't that big a fan of how they potray the denizens of Oz, I mean I get it we have to score sympathy points for Elphaba somehow, but I can't decide if this is terrible screen writing or just shitty character writing, but everybody save for like 5 characters are the biggest biased bitches who treat Elphaba like she's the walking plague, constantly giving her good grief to the point where we just cross over into Mean Girls territory and I hate that movie with my entire soul, it's just grating. And even Glinda takes a minute to warm up to her, thank God she actually grew a spine or I'd want to shove the silver slippers straight up her tightwad ass. Now the acting from Cynthia and Arianna is actually really good, perfectly embedding themselves in these characters, stage differences be damned. Cynthia easily has the most emotional performance and indeed I had at least two or three moments where the waterworks were welling up, obviously she's our main character so we get the most insight into Elphaba's character as a ultimately good willed and kind spirit and I think she did a marvellous job bringing the heart and vocals big time. Arianna truthfully made me laugh my ass off despite the valley girl ditz and rudeness, she still has those pipes, and while it took a hot minute for Glinda to make friends with Elphaba I did buy the friendship between the two a good deal. Jonathan Bailey as a quasi-love interest between Elphy and Glinda, Fiyero is a self proclaimed shallow and self centered man and yet somehow is charming and a joy to watch. Now that's gotta be witchcraft. He may even have my favorite song number, he's just a shameless flirt and kind of a big dumb hunk, I have no idea what happened but I rather like him! Michelle Yeoh hell yeah, get to see my lady woman in another role as the most prolific professor of the magic university Madame Morrible was a treat to watch and she had more to do than just be a mentor figure so that was nice. Jeff Goldblum, I don't know whose call this was to get him as the Wizard but I strongly applaud that person because it is about as strange as you would expect but is so fun to just see him kinda screw around and just have a fun time performing so that was excellent. The set design and costuming is practically a character in and of itself, they spared no expense in this production showing a good scale of familair and new Oz locations with stellar and I do mean stellar costuming. Probably gonna be the easiest Oscar snag we've seen in recent memory to be honest! As for the musical numbers, though I didn't have any I absolutely adored or feverishly abhorred they were decent songs with full fledged choreographed dances included most times, yeah it's an actual lavish musical, but the vocal performances were spot on throughout! Had no friggin' clue this was part one so I felt slightly baited and switched but that also means I can't judge it because it isn't fully out yet! It's Dune all over again. So as a placeholder score I give it 3 stars, 8/10! I enjoyed it a good deal and can recommend it whether you've seen the stage show or not, and it was fun to waffle on about Wizard Of Oz for a week. Sadly I don't have much planned for next week due to the holiday and I was trying to find something fitting that exquisite fall atmosphere so join me next week for a very overlooked Cartoon Network series.

This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse

Damn. Proper good sequel!

It is almost night and day the difference between all aspects of production from the first and second film. Far from trashing the values of I'll Take Your Soul, I very much liked the almost homebrew production and technicals but I'll Possess Your Corpse is practically overflowing with greater values. A wide and extra filled cast, a worthy and superior continuation of the story, and pretty clean film stock showing off the location and sets. The story goes somehow through a tenative stretch, Zé do Caixão survived his brush with otherworldly spirits and also is acquitted of any potential murder charges as well and settles back into his life still with the goal of becoming a father in his tunnelvision sights. He ups the ante too, instead of hopping from one woman to the next he abducts a group of women at the same time in the worst season of The Bachelor I've ever seen, to pick out the woman just right for him. And the weird thing is it works. Twice. Don't ask me how, I'm as alien on the subject of love as I am an alien on this planet! Seems women are more than happy to throw themselves at him this movie, and in an equal and opposite reaction the townsfolk are forming mobs at every turn to bring Zé to justice. It is far from simple and clean storytelling, I am profoundly eating my words of last review cause this is a kinda complex, scheming, machinating plot that is woven through several characters who all have their goals and personalities, and I gotta admit it worked very well! The film pushes closer to 2 hours and barely wastes a second of it, Marins is always progressing the story and even the identity of Coffin Joe. In less than the first 10 minutes of the film he saves a kid from being run over, his passion for childbirth reaches a fever pitch, he comes to terms with some of his actions and once again is visited by supernatural forces, still despises religion though, and makes a most unexpected character choice right at the end. In the most shocking moment of the film he has a nightmare about literally being dragged to Hell and comes face to face with the torments and landscape of it, and you know I'm not a profoundly religious person but that whole scared straight shit is true, like I promise to be as good of a person as I can be after seeing that damn scene! It's the most outrageous and yet disturbing version of Hell I've ever seen and shot in stark and vibrant color, the rest of the film is classic black & white, which adds even more to the experience of it. And the finale took me severely aback and apparently it wasn't even in the script, Brazil's censor board made Marins change the ending entirely and you'll know exactly what they changed when you see it. Sure you can absolutely show bewbs, the freaky world of Hell itself, and some pretty ruthless deaths, but further sacrilege to the name of Deus? No can do buster. It's the only truly bad thing I can say about the movie and it's no foul on Marin's part! But other than that this is a great sequel honestly! I love it, I have no problem saying it's superior to the first film, and if the first Coffin Joe movie didn't have your full attention and you wanted more from it this is the movie for you. I give it 4 stars, 8/10, and we're doing a biiiig time leap from 1967 to 2008 with the final part of the trilogy.

Metalocalypse: Army Of The Doomstar

My timing was pretty spot on with this show.

Got introduced and became a fan not 6 months ago and now I've seen the finale. The true finale to my knowledge. Isn't that serendipitous? But for real all you fans that had to go through all this shit in real time, my God the patience, dedication, and love you had for this series should get you a fucking medal. A metal medal, a really kick ass blood red, pentagram embroidered, with spikes and shit medal. I knew this movie was coming and after running across it in the video section I had no choice to buy it (got a poster and everything), and you bet your ass I'm buying the complete series whenever that happens, so let's talk about this finale. Though I hate endings to shows I love and always want more Dethklok in my life, this was a really good proper ending. All the people who fought tooth and nail to get this movie made are troopers, and boy is it an experience to see Metalocalypse in CinemaScope, with this level of animation, I mean I have rarely seen a show get progressively superior in quality like this. So after the rescue of Toki and the imminent arrival of the Doomstar, Nathan and the band have to create the song to save the world and finally confront Salacia, that's the basic gist and I don't want to divulge too much because it's totally worth watching the whole show, but the storytelling and attention to detail are prevalent. In fact this is almost entirely a drama with little comedy to be found, it buckles down and gets friggin' serious for the entire duration and while there are some laughs it has that weight and tone that shit just got real. I really like that, it adds to the finality of it all. The band gets in some dire straits here with Nathan getting a good character arc and the rest getting good character moments that work well. Obviously you couldn't just watch the film as a self contained entity, and indeed I marathoned the whole show before settling down to watch this, so I almost argue you can't judge and define it on it's own merits but take it into account with every single other episode of the show. I really enjoyed it, and some aspects that really struck me were this movie is kinda life affirming in a bizzare way and takes the stance of positivity in heavy metal, it states a few times everybody dies and you only got so much time and you either strike with a fist or offer an open hand, and while my fledgling knowledge on the metal scene isn't expansive even I know metalheads, fans of heavy metal music regardless of subgenre, are some of the most polite and kind people you could ever wish to meet. That metal music can elicit positive, thoughtful, and happy emotions I feel to be resoundingly true, and can cultivate a community that through rain, sleet, snow, or even hellfire have each other's backs. Sure it's easy to focus on the grim and brutal aspects but the difference between a song's subject matter and an individual's mindset is pretty far apart. So I loudly applaud the creators for going in such a direction. It's a satisfying end and maybe this was just the hardcore nerd in me but I got big Rise Of Skywalker vibes in the finale, if you've seen both you probably know what I'm talking about but I won't give any of the details away cause that would spoil it, and that ain't cool man. It feels odd to say but this felt very modern, with previous seasons it mostly could fit in any time period post 2000, but here it feels definitely 2023 and that's not a bad thing at all but just an observation of mine. I'm very happy Brendon and Tommy got to end this their way cause man let me tell you, this became a passion project for them and very few passion projects come to pass. I'm proud to call myself a fan, I'm thrilled I got to see this whole show now, and I reckon I'll give this film 4 stars, 8.5/10, but for the whole show start to finish I'll give it a 9/10! I'll see you guys next week with a new movie review, so be safe and rock on.

Barbie

I'll be damned, it was just the remedy I needed!

After such a well, depressing end for Oppenheimer I was amazed at how Barbie was able to pull me out of this existential crisis by presenting an existential crisis on the screen. I am not telling you a thing about this plot, no way, I would be robbing you like taking candy away from a baby. The best way I can describe it is it takes bits of Toy Story 3, The Lego Movie, adds an awful lot of reality and a good dose of satire, and is precisely NOTHING like the movie you would expect. It keeps changing tracks, flipping and twisting ideas that would be incredibly predictable and cliche and makes something new. It is easily one of the most intelligent, introspective, and funny movies not of this year but just that I've ever seen in my time. It almost made me cry once with a scene right out of Pixar's Soul and then it absolutely made me shed a single tear at the end. Good God almighty no wonder the trailer barely shows anything cause how do you sell this movie? Cause on the surface there's a lot of poking at the patriarchy, how Barbieland functions, the identities of our characters but then....if you give just a little bit of thought to it you plunge deep under the surface and I mean deeeeep. Margot Robbie can you do no wrong? Flawless, heartfelt, a ray of hope and sunshine in my life. Ryan Gosling, man I'm almost jealous of you getting this part because what a wild ride it is this journey for Ken and even when he's kinda being an ass you can tell he's far from doing it intentionally which just makes it funny. This movie revels in the lavishly ludicrous and yet touches on life, identity, and changes in the most simplistic yet enlightened way. I'm not saying it's a film entirely for adults much akin to Soul, kids can watch and enjoy it but I feel we're more talking a teenage to adult range. It really just had no right being as good as it is, and I know people will howl "woke" (like it frigging means anything) but I did not find it pandering, insincere, or pushing for something. It kinda just lays it out like it is in reality without shouting for extremist change. I loved it, I thought it was amazing, buuuut do I give it a 10/10? Ohhh I don't know, I feel I need to watch it again and yeah we're gonna do a round two of this Barbinheimer phenomenon. So for now a 9/10, 4 golden stars, and two thumbs way way up! We shall see who truly wins this battle of wills and wits, and remember my friends future events such as these will affect you in the future.

Blade Runner Black Lotus

Okay look, I'm gonna try to articulate myself as best as possible.




Black Lotus is not a bad show, it's a very niche fandom that sprung forth a very niche show. I think yet again we are touching new grounds, as I've never watched or reviewed a 3D anime series before, it's traditionally 2D and that's what I know best. And indeed Black Lotus has been on my radar for a good few months but I didn't know it was 3D from the get go, yet I knew I wanted to watch it. Here's the thing. As a standalone show, it's decent, I liked it, end of story. As an installment of the Blade Runner series, it can't help but fall a bit flat if only due to the fact that it is quite literally sandwiched between Blade Runner and Blade Runner 2049, two excellent pieces of fiction that are beautiful and insightful to us as human beings. It's going to be the black sheep by default. Now does that necessarily mean no one should watch it? Not at all, I kept in mind the target audience as I was watching, it premiered on Toonami and Crunchyroll so teenagers and early adults specifically who love anime. And this could very well be their gateway to watching the movies and perhaps reading Philip K. Dick's novel, though at the same time that breeds apprehension in me. Cause the show is action orientated, which could lead people to believe that's what the movies are like which is exactly what happened in 1982 and it could alienate audiences. But let's actually talk about the show now. So our story takes place still in Los Angeles in the year 2032, as we follow a young woman named Elle who has a strong case of amnesia but is incredibly skilled at kicking ass and is out on a revenge mission against a group of high ranking illustrious figures in society. Any cyberpunk story has a strong anti-corporation, down with the rich sentiment, it's a staple of the subculture. So we pretty much get a piecemeal story over 13 episodes of Elle trekking out to assassinate these figureheads as she regains memories and makes a few allies along the way, a lot of inspiration from revenge movies and introspective dramas were taken and it works adequately. I can see people thinking the show is a slog to get through, it is more slow paced akin to the movies and though it is only about 4 hours in total, it may not seem like much is actually accomplished over time. I can tell you right here right now, skip episode 8, you will miss nothing and learn nothing, it is the epitome of a filler episode. So technically it's even shorter. Elle is a neat protagonist, I was pretty onboard with her in her bomb ass jacket and samurai sword cutting bitches, so I was invested enough. Joseph as her partner in crime makes for a good dynamic, and I'm proud of the creators for not having to force a romance, he has his own history and problems that we get but I feel the show could have utilized all the character's backstories far more effectively. We pal around a bit with LAPD officer Davis, I wasn't feeling much for this character and there is some sextuple amounts of bullshit with her at the tail end of this series, you'll know it when you see it trust me. We actually do get a blade runner who at first I thought was K but no Ryan Gosling for us today, and I find that super interesting how we actually see a blade runner as an antagonist for once it's a cool touch. I mean I know the main focus is on Elle, and the other characters aren't (entirely) wasted, and the voice cast isn't bad one bit, but it begs for more fleshing out. And I'm not entirely sure if this has a negative aspect per se, but the 3D animation lends an odd effect on the voice acting and I'm not sure if I can articulate it well. The animation is good, it obviously doesn't have the budget for totally realistic 3D models, but it does have moments of late 90s/early 2000s TV 3D animation. The motion capture utililized works super well during the fight sequences, and the actual backgrounds and environments look damn good in my opinion. But! The animation doesn't have a great range of facial acting, so it can deaden the impact of line reads which is through no fault of the actors, it's just a side effect of a slight uncanny valley minefield the show has to traverse. I can applaud the creators for wanting to go this direction instead of traditional 2D animation but it's a slippery tightrope to balance. Music kinda sucks though I won't lie, not the actual episode score that fits beautifully in with the soundscape of Vangelis and Hans Zimmer, but they use modern vocal songs for the intro, which while the visuals are great I would not in any universe say the theme is Blade Runner in any capacity, and also the outros during the credits and my God is it just not my scene man. I'm not big on modern music in terms of rap/hip hop/R&B or poppy stuff, it just ain't for me but I can appreciate other people liking it. So all in all, it's a mixed bag for sure but I feel it has enough to be a mostly good mixed bag. I give it 2.5 stars, 7/10. More TV next week, I already talked about it a bit ago but screw that we're going in depth season by season so see you then.

What We Do In The Shadows: Season 3

Bit late to this party but still worth talking about.

It's only been over a year since we last looked at this show. Good to know some trends never die. Kinda went in a lot of directions I didn't expect but still delievered the same top quality, I'd even go so far as to say because of the unexpected turns this season delivers I enjoyed it way more than I would have. So after the massacre of the vampire council by Guillermo, our group of vampires actually ascend the political ladder and become the new replacements for the council, as Laszlo and Colin Robinson hang out more, Nandor pursues love, and Nadja gets swept up in the power of the council, leading to a pretty up in the air situation for the next season. It still has somewhat similar stories but at the same time are so very different and are built upon from previous seasons, you have your human scenarios with our vamps rolling along with it, you get your seperate cullen of vampires branching out the world of this show, we get some more spotlight on Guillermo and strangely also Colin Robinson who may actually have the biggest arc of this season. Like seriously he has always been a background character with an occasional brief episode segment, but he is right up front on the stage here and to me is funnier than ever. Even though every character I would say gets equal amounts of attention and screentime, Colin Robinson damn near owns this season. Granted Guillermo is still my favorite by far, and he gets some great material here delving more into the relationship between him and Nandor, I loved all that just to show how bizzare and interesting their dynamic is. I noticed a hell of a lot more sets this time around, it seems each season has a bigger budget than the last and while some of the CGI is a bit ropey I can forgive the cable TV show here, but each is designed expertly and the fact they use practical effects period gets brownie points from me. It's another solid season that may take a bit of time to get going but I'm just very happy to see it again. 4 stars, 8.5/10, I still hold season 2 higher but there is always next time to really knock it out of the park and I commend the crew, actors and all, for doing such fine work. This week is gonna be busy as hell, television, movies, in retrospects, new movies, you'll get a dose of everything in the days to come.

Good Boys

Honestly guys...this could have been so much worse.

I genuinely enjoyed Good Boys, it has a lot of good humor and isn't just funny because a 12 year old said the F word and doesn't know what a sex swing is. It is really damn funny, and the writing for our main leads feels incredibly natural and real despite their young age. I was a bit shocked at first, but then I took a step back and looked at how I was when I was in 6th grade and it was pretty much spot on. Being able to cuss like a sailor but still be completely innocent and unknowing to the more adult areas in life, so I got an immediate connection to the kids. I especially love how they pretty much simultaneously cover all their bases, with Lucas being a kind and completely innocent soul while still having a bit of a mouth, Thor (yes really) being more of a punk but still has a heart of gold, and our main lead Max being a combination of both a genuinely good kid who can still be a wiseass. But not to the point they are unbearably stupid or needlessly mean spirited, they are kids and kids can be anything really. Also, the writing for them feels very natural and grounded while for the other kids it feels stereotypical almost to the point of being caricatures, thus making the audience enjoy and like our main leads. Now if it was just a decent comedy with really good kid actors that would be fine, but in the third act after you think the finale just happened and credits will start to roll it shifts gears into a more drama focused ending. Throughout the movie it has some genuine nice and even kind of emotional moments where they acknowledge their friendship and the fact that they sort of grow apart. Everyone has had a friend or even a group of friends they were thick as thieves with, but as time passed and you grew up, maybe they drifted away or perhaps you formed a stronger bond with one and not so much with the other. And it handles it incredibly well, making a somewhat bittersweet yet still funny ending which truthfully not a lot of movies can do. They put extra effort into the writing to give us that additional enjoyment, now the movie doesn't entirely focus on it but the moments that are there are pretty great if I'm being on the level with you. Now me personally, I've had great luck with friends that I've made, with the relationships already sort of formed in the status quo where nothing really major or bad happened, with friendships lasting years until eventually they or I moved on naturally, whether it be moving on to a brand new school or simply moving. And let's really be honest, that sucks man. You don't ever want to really lose friends after you've spent years hanging out with them. So I must give some serious credit to this movie for going that extra mile and not just being another comedy. It keeps it real and doesn't shy away from real life situations. So with that added on top, I give the film a solid 7/10, 3 stars definitely check it out if you need a funny movie with some genuine heart.

And so next week it begins. The longest marathon of television seasons I am probably ever going to do. 11 seasons, plus specials for the next two whole weeks. But what show holds that honor? Whatever it is, it's gonna be fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.

Miracle On 34th Street (1994)

I bet not many people would know that John Hughes actually produced this movie.

So yes, another remake of a Christmas classic, does it hold up against the original? Honestly I've heard both in my lifetime, it improves elements of the original and it shouldn't have been made, and so on and so forth. Do I hate it? No, it has some real lovely scenes, they can show off a lot more because of the budget, and Sir Richard Attenborough is a wonderful Santa Claus. The scene with him and the deaf girl is one of the most cherished scenes in cinema, you can't friggin' frown at that scene even I a very grinchy Grinch soul loves that scene down to the milisecond. But I must admit the film, like any other has pros and cons. Richard Attenborough is magical, and Mara Wilson though a bit on the cutesy side for me plays it well and her relationship with Attenborough is truly lovely. Yet on the other side of the spectrum, Elizabeth Perkins I swear to God looks so damn bored in this movie! She just looks uninterested and I know her character is always thinking, and moving, and working but did someone spike her drinks with adderall, she barely looks awake! And Dylan McDermott still has that friendship with Kris like in the original, and he does alright but the romance just doesn't work as great in the original though it was slightly a product of it's times. But what really gets on my nerves about this movie is the fact they have to throw in a ridiculous antagonist who I swear they filmed for a different movie and accidentaly spliced him in, most 90s movies even if they were simple kids movies tried to shoehorn in some conflict so we have this whole bruhaha about a feuding business owner who wants to hire Kris to his buisness so he can....take over the city, or something. You think I'm joking about that, but watch this dude's first scene and tell me he doesn't seem more suited as a crime boss working for the Kingpin or perhaps a less intriguing Bond villain. It is so friggin' lame and it only gets worse with idiot side henchman, and the fact that the movie puts Kris in more...violent light. I have no idea what they were trying to communicate but a few mean words and Kris is about to take his cane and beat somebody like they owe him his money. Now there is one scene where I can justify it to the teeth, but the other times seem just so out of character. Attenborough brings a ton of charm and even more magic I would say to the role of Santa Claus than Edmund Gwenn did, the smile on his face is unbridled delight and happiness, he feels more like a true entity of Christmas than just an elderly gentleman who lives in a nursing home who just so happens to be Santa yet they still put him in a home but whatever. There's more tropes of 90s family films you can notice throughout but there's one scene that makes up for (almost) all of it, it's a very quiet and even powerful scene where Kris explains to Mrs. Walker what his image means and it's really incredible to listen to. It's the best scene in the movie hands down! Plus I like how they updated the court case at the end, and the ending is something clever and works better than the way they proved Kris' credibility in the original. So yeah, it's mixed what they did incredibly right and did horrendously wrong, but I still say go see it just for Attenborough and Wilson who are what made the film so memorable even to this day. Miracle On 34th Street regardless of film version is a unique and interesting story, one that takes it's own route in the oddities of Christmas films and is still viewed and enjoyed by millions of people every holiday season. Whether you believe in Santa or not can make your holiday experience boundless with optimism or drenched in melancholy, but I think regardless of your own personal beliefs someone thinks about you every Christmas.

Rough Night

I needed a break from Transformers, so here we go!

Rough Night is a quite enjoyable comedy about a group of friends who, one day set up a bachelorette party and it turns into as the title says a rough night. All seems to be going well until a stripper comes and you know, they kinda, maybe, sort of accidentaly bash his brains out on the nice white tile floors and have to hide the body. It happens. So the whole night is ruined as our group of friends try to evade jail time for manslaughter. Oh well, it leads to some decent comedy and some of the events that unfold you surprisingly don't see coming and hell, even one little scene hit me right in the heart because of how unabashedly real it is. But I almost want to say the movie is a vehicle for these talented ladies comedy, it is, but it tells a decent story as well. The Lady Scarlett is in this movie which always makes me happy and she does have bursts of comedy but isn't afraid to bust the waterworks, although I have to really say Kate McKinnon slayed me! She was kinda the best part of the movie, and I know how blasphemous that is to me but it's true! That Australian accent just brings such joy to me! And the rest of the ladies like Jillian Bell and Ilana Glaze were really putting their all into this, so they of course have to be commended. Did I enjoy seeing the movie? Yes, absolutely. Would I buy it? Well, probably not. Rent it for a movie night with friends, without a doubt but not buy it. Do I recommend you see it in the theaters? Yeah, if you got nothing to do that day, you feel kinda bored, make a trip to the theater and see if it makes your day a bit better! Well that's all for this week, tune in next week to finish the Michael Bay shit sandwhich and cap it off with another In Retrospect. Take care everybody!