The Odyssey

The one time I read the damn book and I have to say the movie was better!

I mean as an adaptation for one of the oldest written stories in human history it's actually pretty solid! They didn't change too much and trimmed quite a bit of fat found in the tale, and as Christopher Nolan is wont to do the movie does a lot of flashback storytelling as we follow the king of Ithaca after the sacking of Troy desperately trying to get back home as he encounters mythical beings and even when he returns home his fight is not over. I don't really have to tell you if it's a good movie, even with examples such as Tenet from Nolan you can surely expect quality and good if not great plots and yeah the movie may be 3 hours long but it just feels appropriate and you do get invested. Hell I was getting pumped up, tense, and even reflective while watching the film! The big main story beats they stick to are all memorable and engaging, from a suspenseful encounter with a cylcops, to a surprisingly grotesque example of body horror, to just the terrible nature of war it all landed expertly. The only real detachment I had with the movie is the cast, now that is not at all damning the performances themselves if anything they actually do really friggin' good. HOWEVER I did see more the actor and not the character which is odd because this isn't exactly the first star studded cast I've seen in cinema history but I just saw Anne Hathaway I didn't see Queen Penelope, I didn't see Calypso I saw Charlize Theron, I didn't see Telemachus I saw Tom Holland, and the only person who rised above was Matt Damon for reasons I can't even quantify. But like I said all the performances are rock solid and the drama of the story was so good it really didn't take much for me to be immersed in the film. The sets, costuming, all those wonderful practical details which I love so much are on top form as I suspected them to be! The music truly hammers home the suspense and unease, it gets the heart pumping and your nerves on edge, so well done Ludwig Göransson! Damn good cinematography (in other breaking news the sun will rise and the sun will set), the scope of crowds and the sea was just right, and even if you're not familiar with the book you can grasp the events unfolding. I say see it just to witness the fall of Troy, that was the highlight of the film in every respect and it truly felt momentous because that is a piece of history countless people have heard about but I have never seen it visualized. Ever! It just feels suitably epic for an epic tale and while I won't say it's the best film of the whole year I'd be a lying sack of shit if I said I didn't greatly appreciate and enjoy it. Even if this was the first and last time I ever watched this film I can safely say I was very happy to see it. 4 stars, 8.5/10, and this may be the last review of the month unless madness strikes hard and fast but this entire show is a literal odyssey, a long and eventful journey and it isn't quite over yet.

Clash Of The Titans

Can you believe this shit?

11 damn years and we're just NOW talking Clash Of The Titans! It's probably been almost 20 years since I last saw this movie and very much like Jason And The Argonauts the legacy of the film is still prevalent in my mind. This was Ray Harryhausen's final bow in the film industry but what a fantastic finale to a lifetime of incredible work, and the fact you can actually see a lot of the models and figures from this movie even today is a gift from the heavens. Hell I almost want to say this was the last bow of true mythical fantasy epics in the year of our lord 1981, and it does tell a sprawling big story that no doubt takes maaaaany elements of greek mythology into account. Following Perseus demigod son of Zeus who wishes to take the hand of the princess Andromeda, is tasked with several trials not only to win her love but save her from a terrible fate. That is the bare bones plot when you get right down to it, but the movie takes a good bit of time setting up this world and fleshes it out constantly with mythological creatures and battles, from a prince cursed and deformed by the gods, to the fabled Kraken, to the still quite horrifying Medusa, and still more to see. I heard Ray was not thrilled with his work and wanted to fine tune the film stock to make it look better but didn't have the time, yet I still wholeheartedly say the stop motion effects are great! In any capacity it's a marvel to look at and I have zero issue saying everything to the buildup of Medusa is so eerie and dreadfilled, from the surprisingly creepy appearance of Charon the ferryman to the dilapidated temple to the actual appearance of Medusa is a gold mine of suspense and horror. Undoubtedly the highlight of the entire film for my money. But even beyond that seeing Pegasus, giant scorpions, the deformed monster Calibos who by the by looks spectacular to the point where I honestly don't even see an actor under the prosthesis, even the robotic owl Bubo which some people deride but I find charming only adds to the magic of the film. I feel the gods themselves were much better handled here than in The Argonauts, in no small part due to the cast I mean flippin' Sir Laurence Olivier as Zeus is pitch goddamn perfect in this movie, Maggie Smith as spurned goddess Thetis works great with the plot, Ursula Andress as Aphrodite is stellar casting in my opinion, and how they interact with the story feels more engaging. Of course love goes to our mortal cast as well, Harry Hamlin though not as compelling as Todd Armstrong has a solid look and still does a good job throughout being an archetypal hero, Judi Bowker while not having a great deal of material to work with is still a welcome presence and I think you can tell she was enjoying her time on set, again I'd like to shoutout Neil McCarthy as Calibos and even though he's really only the antagonist for the first act is such a trooper for going through such extensive makeup and prosthetics plus being a good villain gets him brownie points in the end, and I'll be damned if I still don't treasure seeing Burgess Meredith in any role and even as a supporting character he still not only commits but is wonderful to watch. It's a classic in it's own right and deserves the love, not perfect but damn good enough to where you don't mind. It is a shame that such a technical marvel was the last of it's kind, I am a big advocate for practical effects and always been a fan of stop motion and while the craft hasn't become obsolete it breaks my heart knowing we'll never reach such heights again. It does make me curious how much real, well...anything will be showcased in The Odyssey, knowing Christopher Nolan is a true hands on director who loves to do stuff without much computer wizardy gives me hope that the sword wielding epics aren't truly dead and gone. If you are any kind of fan of monsters, old school effects, mythological stories, or just imaginative adventures this is a movie you must see. I give it 3.5 stars, 8/10, and boy do we have an event to attend on Friday my friends.

Jason & The Argonauts

I almost want to say this is the first time I've seen this.

Oh I absolutely knew of it growing up and the stop motion effects by Ray Harryhausen, but I truly believe this is my first watch through. So how was it? Pretty solid I gotta say, this is one of the earliest greek epics that I'm aware of concerning a young man with a quest to reclaim a homeland and slay a tyrant who is given a near impossible task from the gods to obtain a golden fleece to aid his revenge. What's interesting is this is a tale that literally predates The Odyssey so it made since to showcase it this week, and it honestly bears some similarities with the hero making a long journey with several courageous men, the gods on Olympus treating the heroes just like pawns in chess to see who wins, and encountering fabled mythical creatures. Now obviously when most people refer to this movie it is indeed for the stop motion effects, but it is a very good movie on it's own that should be watched. That being said the effects by Harryhausen are still great and show good variety ranging from giant metal statue Talos, to a hydra, to flying harpy's, and of course sword wielding skeletons which is still just as rad as it was in 1963. I was a bit surprised to learn this was not a great financial success for Columbia when it was first released despite good reviews, and only through the passage of time has it gotten reappraised and considered a classic of the fantasy genre. I think Todd Armstrong is a damn good lead as Jason, a stalwart hero with conviction and wisdom that carries the film just as well as the stopmotion effects. Honor Blackman as Hera was a treat to see and really it doesn't seem that much of a stretch to see her as a goddess, as she aids Jason on his quest while in somewhat friendly competition with Zeus. Though not on the crew for long I gotta say Nigel Green as Hercules was a major highlight, I can't fully explain why but his physicality and warm demeanor made me wish he stuck around to end credits and I'll be damned to think of a better live action Hercules in anything! For a movie roughly an hour and forty-five minutes long it certainly doesn't feel like it, keeping a good brisk pace that's easy to follow and has a charm to it that not many newer movies could have. And I think that's the reason why it's a classic of the genre. It has this old Hollywood charm to it, from the way it's shot, to the actors in it, how the special effects are showcased, it fits the ancient tale because it feels like someone is retelling it at that point in time. So all in all I give it 3 stars, 7/10, and next time we get to a movie that I honestly can't believe I haven't talked about yet.

Supergirl (1984)

I'm just thankful Supergirl got more love after this.

To be perfectly honest it seemed like a rough decade for the character in general especially considering after this movie Crisis On Infinite Earths happened and Supergirl got axed literally out of existence. But let's turn the clock back to 1984, Superman III is already out and through several scripts Supergirl is released to...less than favorable reception. Pretty much bombed at the box office, not a good word toward it from critics, and is now viewed as a secular oddity in comic book movie history. I mean the plot isn't god awful with Kara venturing to Earth to retrieve a magical MacGuffin and has to combat a sorceress named Selena, that has potential and indeed the Super family battles magic users all the time so it's not too out there. But the execution is really what kills it. I mean the cast is decent, Helen Slater just looks like Supergirl and has that wide eyed curiosity and joy that we never really got to see from her famous cousin. Faye Dunaway is our villain and is appropriately over the top, practically eye banging the camera throughout and while her schemes never really get off the ground till near the end the use of magic is inventive. Somehow, I don't know how, they got fucking Peter O'Toole in this movie and he really was my favorite character essentially the architect of Kara's city, and being the hardcore professional he is he brought a lot of charm and dare I almost say gravitas with his delivery no matter how outlandish the film is around him. Hart Bochner is Kara's semi-love interest and despite being introduced pretty early on doesn't have much to do which is a shame cause I feel like there's an okay romance on the cutting room floor. Speaking of which! The post production was a bit of a fiasco to say the least, strained relationship between the production company and Warner Bros., the film didn't even get released here in the States, the film was cut from two odd hours down to about 90 minutes, it really does just look like the world was against Supergirl from the word go. And while indeed the movie is fluff to an extreme, it's very Silver Age in it's plot and characters, the plot is loose and slipstream, it's very kiddy, and while the Christopher Reeve Superman movies were on a downward spiral you always had at least moments of character and drama, it's a far cry from what people would think a comic book movie is nowadays. But it's not unwatchable, I feel like this is a screaming instance where a good movie exists but it just had too many cooks in the kitchen spoiling the soup. It got me to smile, it got a chuckle out of me, I dig Helen as Supergirl, I really loved Peter O'Toole, it even captures just a little bit of that magic seeing Superman fly from the first movie when Kara arrives on Earth which is not an easy feat, it has moments to it! I watched the 2 hour version and while I didn't love it, I'm happy I got to see this little corner of history and when the hell would I have ever gotten around to reviewing this if not for the new movie? Far from great, definitely not for most, but it still has an impact all these years since. They literally cast Helen as the adoptive mother of then current Supergirl Melissa Benoist on the TV show, someone was clearly a fan. I give it 1.5 stars, 5/10, but we got one more stop before hitting the theater on Friday so look up for the next one.

Mortal Kombat II

Oh thank God, it's better!

Actually a vast improvement on every front in my estimation, I actually had a pretty good time with this movie! Damn near everyone is back but what kinda took me by surprise is how much time we spend with newcomers Kitana played by Adeline Rudolph and Johnny fucking Cage played by Karl fucking Urban which isn't necessarily a bad thing, Kitana has major ties to our new big bad on the scene Shao Khan and I really loved what they did with Johnny making him a washed up martial arts film star thrown into the deep end of the pool. Of course it's great to see Jessica, Ludi, and Tadanobu again and they still do very fine work, hell I'll even give a bit of credit and say they juggled the roster list pretty solidly! Everyone gets their own fights and moments to shine equally which has always kinda been the cardinal sin with the fighting games turned into movies. This really does seem like a movie for the fans, so much was thrown in from characters, to arenas, to moves, to little easter eggs here and there. Now can I freely admit to you all the last Mortal Kombat game I played was coincidentally 2 on the Super Nintendo and technically 3 on the arcade cabinet? Just did. So there's probably a good bit that I missed but the fact alone we got my favorite character Baraka in this, and he was great, and they didn't throw his ass out like they did in Annihilation gets you at least a solid 1.5 points added to your score movie! The only thing I could kinda bitch about and this is the most pathetic thing to bitch about so tune me out creators of this film who read the reviews, but the selection of arenas for the fights left just a bit to be desired. We have one courtyard for I swear 3 or 4 fights, we have the spike room (not the pit sadly), the acid room which was beautifully accurate, and the portal sans the creepy floating monks. God awful? Of course not. But even my novice ass knows you have a practical buffet of arenas to throw a fucking dart at, but other than that terribly nitpicky ass aside, pretty good movie! Fights are varied, they got no problem bodying people which could piss some people off admittedly, the kills make the first movie look pathetic in comparison in terms of gore and inventive gore at that. It moves at a good pace, the characters aren't super deep but have good motivation, the effects are really nice, they even got some neat-o cinematography in there at times which I very much appreciated, and it was actually pretty damn funny! I was surprised how many laughs I got, so well done on that front writers! It appears my hope and faith was not mislaid, and while it does kinda sequel bait the shit out of the end which I have several questions about because heeeey Mortal Kombat noob over here, I'm happy with it. So I guess I have my best of both worlds with the 1995 first movie and the 2026 second movie, and I am rather curious what the die hard fans think about it. All in all I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10, and I will see y'all next week for another new release.

In Retrospect: Mortal Kombat (2021)

I guess there's a reason this spawns from a company called MIDway.

I think my estimation has actually fallen since I saw this opening day. Like dude, I would gladly take the 90s film over this. And it took me a second to kinda articulate as to why, but the quality of this film overall is like if a Sci-Fi Channel original movie had an actual budget. This halfassed script, decent actors but not great characters, blank slate of a protagonist which makes me wonder why the fuck we even have him, the slightly off beat references that should be awesome but kinda make you roll your eyes when they happen, the effects which are passable, just everything about this leans so much into that direct to cable movie element which I have to say I've not seen in a considerably long time. Now I know, I know...it was a rough goddamn patch of time when this movie went into production and when it got released, I'm taking that into consideration and not trying to bash it too hard. Cause it's not a bad movie, this is nowhere near Annihilation but it ain't that goddamn good either folks. Best damn scene in the movie is the opening, it was investing, a notch emotional, had really good fight choreography, I loved it! I think the true nail in the coffin for this is our main character, may I ask why we just decided to add some guy who isn't a character in the games to be our focus and might I go one step further and ask why did you make him the most uninteresting nothing character? Poor Lewis Tan had exactly two things to work with, jack and shit. And jack left town. He's trying but there is nothing to this to the point where I almost feel offended for the guy, imagine you got cast in a Mortal fucking Kombat movie and you're just some...guy. Not Liu Kang, not Johnny Cage, not even Stryker! It's almost stunning how bland Cole is. Like...I gotta move on, I'm gonna be hear all fucking day. I will however say I do indeed have higher hopes for the second film, I truly do. It does look better. As long as they don't do stupid shit like in this where you drop Kung Lao in that undignified fashion, kill Goro in THE FIRST FRAKKING MOVIE HELLLLOOOOOO, and not even give us the shit sucking tournament on which this entire franchise is built upon, we'll be fine! Those are choices man, but they are not good ones! Holy fuckaroli it's like the longer I think about it the more the score dwindles. But hey, they at least didn't rush a sequel. It took them 5 years to get around to Mortal Kombat II and I will commend the filmmakers on that alone, all the time in the world to iron this script out, make the right calls, and craft a good movie. I'm not saying I'm walking in with the highest of expectation but I'm certainly walking in with hope. I however am leaving this film never to return. 1.5 stars, 4.5/10, I'll catch you tomorrow!

Faust (1926)

I know the term silent cinema is common but I couldn't pick a better word than cinema.

Needless to say I was heavily impressed, intrigued, and taken in by what many would claim to be F.W. Murnau's crowning achievement in filmmaking. To be honest I think I'm one of them even though I haven't seen even half his filmography mostly due to the fact that out of his 21 films only 11 still exist, but the power of Faust puts even modern films to shame in the simplest term for movies, imagery. This is a monumentally gorgeous film with so much special effects shooting it could be considered the Star Wars of it's day, where almost every frame is a painting filled with brilliant contrast of light and shadow, a wonderful mix of miniatures, cross dissolves, rear projection, and even animatronics that wouldn't be surpassed in cinema until 1933's King Kong. Concerning an old alchemist whose town is beleagured by plague, turns to the king of Hell itself to try to save people but is quickly snared by promises of youth and love as not only his life spirals but those he interacts with as well. The road to Hell is often paved with the goodest of intentions. For such a simple story it's told on a grand scale with drama to match, all the performances are big but not hammy or over the top. Gösta Ekman who plays the young and old versions of Faust does very good work and can convey a lot through facial acting, Camilla Horn as his love interest Gretchen honestly is my second favorite performance because she has so much range and dare I even say haunting moments which is amazing to witness, but the whole show is stolen in my humble opinion by Emil Jannings who plays Mephisto. I know, I know, praising the villain as per usual but you have not seen what I have seen. Dis guy, lemme tell you about dis guy! I have never seen a performance in silent movies so relishing in the part, I almost want to say he goes camp but that is not in a derogatory sense, gleefully indulging in vice, you can practically hear the hisses and groans when he's confronted with religious symbols, his natural instinct to backstab and lie. I am hardpressed in all of my years to think of a better devil character in fiction than this fella right here! Exquisite, definitive, iconic. Yet even with the lighter moments this movie can get dark man, with shots of people dying from pestilence, being stabbed with the most nonchalant grace, pretty much everything that happens to Gretchen after falling for Faust is horrific and depressing. I almost expected the movie to end on a seriously pessimistic if not even nihilistic note, but there is hope at the end with a message of love to help you fight through the darkness. I couldn't praise the visuals more and I'd be here all damn day if I tried, the direction is so tight and focused, you can tell this was a production that worked hand in hand with each department to craft the best movie possible. For an almost 2 hour movie it pretty much had me in a headlock before even the two minute mark hit, and it's got a solid pace to it. I loved it, I can fully see why it is lauded so much and has a special place in film history, I also can easily recommend it and hope that you enjoy it just as much if not even more than I did. Full 4 stars, 9/10, and I hopefully saved the best for last with one of the most influential movies of all time, Fritz Lang's Metropolis.

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

Not as action packed as the title suggests.

Admittedly I liked it better than the '59 Santa Claus but I wouldn't say it's good still. Still made during a particular high of science fiction filmmaking albeit on a low budget, the story goes that a group of martians intend on kidnapping the big red man for their own children's joy as infighting breaks loose on the martian side, two kids get swept up in the story for some reason or another, and a robot is woefully underused. It's an odd mix without a shadow of a doubt and severely lacks any of the heart that was somewhat present in the last movie but has it's own niche and unique charm. The set design and costuming is basic yet inventive, the color grading though washed out and no doubt from a rough surviving print unmistakeably is very 60s, and I think that's why it's as memorable as it is. Aside from a catching title the look is why it's kinda stuck around in the underbelly of Christmas films. Hell I heard about the movie years before Mystery Science Theater came to my attention, and maybe some of you hardcore veterans of Cinemassacre remember James' review on it roughly around 2008. It's for younger kids without a doubt though there is a chance they might like it and it'll become one of those nostalgic guilty pleasures, a rite of passage all of us share. John Call looks spectacular as Santa, he really nails the look and the more hands on toy maker aspect of this beloved icon and it does kinda make me laugh hearing his accent come through making him the most New Yawk-er Santa's ever. And I gotta say for actor's wearing such outlandish costumes both Leonard Hicks and Vincent Beck play this shit deaaaad flippin' straight, dare I almost say bringing a touch of gravitas to playing people from Mars which is both admirable and surprising. The kids actually aren't half bad as well, Victor Stiles and Donna Conforti though not having much to do and are a farcry from the children empowering fantasy one might expect in a movie like this, they do okay. I love the robot design the martians deploy to kidnap Santa, this boxy itterly homemade yet endearingly classic design just puts a smile on my face but damn it we needed more robot in this! Of course I watched this movie riffing intact which made it quite fun, and blimey the last time I reviewed a movie with the MST3K treatment was Space Mutiny so this was a welcome little treat in a season I mostly detest. So I give it 2 stars, 5/10, and while I certainly wish I did far more for this month, tomorrow is another day or perhaps I should say another year. Time seems to be moving at warp factor 9 these days and I feel like I'm fading bit by bit, but my enjoyment to keep writing even if not at the stellar pace of my previous years hasn't dimmed. I sure hope the holidays haven't been as hectic for you as they have been for me, and that you are in good spirits. I'll definitely see you next year my friends and I hope I have more groovy things for you to watch and enjoy. So be safe, eat and drink and be merry, see you in 2026.

Santa Claus (1959)

Ooh boy, here we go.

Big strong apologies for not getting any new movies in this month, even I can't believe how busy this holiday season has gotten. But never dettered and with an itch to watch Mystery Science Theater of late, I have decided to give two strange cult Christmas movies a fair shake. Starting first with the 1959 film from Mexico purely titled Santa Claus, and now I am endlessly curious how other countries view Santa after this. Cause what in the literal nine circles of Hades was that?? I'm not even rightly sure how to explain what I saw, it is an odd tale and I feel like I've indulged in some hard substance abuse so bear with me. Okay, so Santa Claus lives up in the heavens in a castle on a cloud where he has children from every country on Earth as essential slave labor to make toys (Jesus wept, that is a bigger yikes than you can believe!), and on his nightly trip to deliver presents is hounded by a literal demon in service to Satan who not only wants Santa to fail but also to corrupt children to be eeeeevil! You got all that? Well it only gets weirder from there. Now I know, it's a lower budget movie and they had to work with what they got. The sets are basic but never feel empty, and in the case of Santa's castle in the sky (how I'd rather be watching that movie) is downright trippy yet albeit imaginative shall we say. The dubbing is...not very good and I feel watching it in it's native spanish would be a huge upgrade. The pacing is mutilatingly slow, I feel I could literally freeze to death like Jack Torrence faster and this movie is just a bit over an hour and a half, and if it wasn't for the talents of Mike and the Bots I would be hitting the booze hard to numb the pain. The actors kinda range but I feel every performance was directed to be a certain way, Santa has probably the creepiest laugh I've ever heard in my laugh but the actor José Elías Moreno still has the heart buried under all the wacked out weird stuff like robotic reindeer and being friends with THE Merlin, it has these little glimmers of heart when he interacts with kids and shows that he does care for them always and does want them to have happy lives. That's wonderful stuff but the rest of the movie is so try hard and just fails spectacularly at being cute and happy at every other turn. The demon Pitch played by José Luis Aguirre is so out there, practically pantomime in his evil performance and the makeup is even more outlandish, but I do have to admit he looks like he's having a ball prancing about being an infernal thorn in Santa's backside. The sorta kinda main girl we follow amidst all this Lupita played appropriately by Lupita Quezadas is so gosh darn, holy moly, cutest most precious little thing and she barely has to act, seeing her meager surroundings coming from a poor family and having concerns she won't get a doll, it gets me. It's such a clash of real world situations and moments of heartfelt emotions along with this saccharine weird ass nonsense. I feel this movie could be remade and it could kinda work, seeing Santa take up his Saint status to battle hellish evil while delivering gifts. That's not a horrible concept and frankly an original one! And the funny part is, the movie was fairly well recieved when it came out and got repeat showings on TV! But now it's just a curious oddity of the holiday season, 1.5 stars, 4.5/10. We got an equally weird one next time for you too, shifting from adversaries in the bowels of the earth to creatures from another world as Santa Claus Conquers The Martians!

Wicked For Good

Oh thank God. I liked it way better.

Now that we've shed the schoolyard nonsense this is soooo much more up my alley. I would boil the plot down to the machinations of the Wizard against Elphaba in a tug of war over Oz, but it's way way more about the muddied complicated relationship between our two main characters. With Glinda really trying to come to terms with everything that went down last film and finding out when you get everything you want how unhappy you can still be, while Elphaba is kinda figuring out just how far she wants to go in her crusade while still trying to make her own place in the world and her relationship with Glinda. It's fairly riveting stuff truth be honest and investing to boot, and I'm quite happy to announce they barely even touch the Wizard Of Oz story as they should though it did crack me up how they jab at the transitional ownership of the Silver Slippers. This is really the movie to showcase for award season regarding Cynthia and Ariana's acting chops cause not only do they get to really belt out some songs but my God they can do soooo much acting with their eyes alone. In fact near the end I was like a hairbreadth away from having an emotional breakdown, because at a certain point that's not acting. That's Cynthia and Ariana loving each other so much and knowing the end is near, it's hard not to feel something at that moment. I don't need to tell you about their performances but I will say they got even better. Jonathan Bailey was good as ever, able to convey a lot of conflicted interest even without an abundance of screen time and once again the man just knows how to make my jaw drop and my face blush. No spoilers here by a long shot, but gotdamn that was...yeah. Jeff, I love you to bits Jeff, you were still kinda out there but you know what? It makes sense for the character and even though he's still a bastard I kinda still like him! Michelle really got to embrace that villain role and never did I ever think I could hate one of her characters, but man that's good writing and acting to make someone so detestable. Production values are still at their high standard but even I'll admit the scale didn't seem larger, which makes sense cause it is a more personal drama but the spectacle is still strong. Songs were still decent, I think if I had to pick one it's probably Elphaba's villain song just cause it's been 84 years since I've heard a villainous song so automatic win there! It did absolutely address the questions I had in my In Retrospect, answered other questions I didn't even ask in the first place, and gave me an ending that had more twists than a pretzel. Now the only thing left to do is watch the whole damn thing in one go to give my final words on it but that'll come at a later point. Hell if I get really lucky I may see the stage play itself, that would be rad! But all in all, it's a better film in my estimation and I'm happy to have went to see it. I give it 4 stars, 8.5/10, and that is it for this week. Next week will be busy with the holiday and super special plans of my own but I'll have hopefully one more new release for you before the abysmal season which shall not be named rears it's ugly head from the frozen depths of Hell. Halloween gods I beseech you to grant me strength and guide me through the brightly lit wastes.

In Retrospect: Wicked

Wellll I still enjoy it. Kinda.

Now, admittedly I feel like I was off my rocker putting this in my top 10 of last year cause I'm so split on it. Production wise, stellar, phenomenal, 10/10 visually! Story, oooh boy does it still grate on my goddamn nerves and I know the movie is saying a lot about prejudice, questioning authority, and simultaneously mocking and yet maybe encouraging popularity and shallow people. I get it, I understand it, still just seems like a slightly mishandled story considering you know...we're in the land of Oz. Allegory in fantasy is nothing new, but not every fantasy setting has to do it you feel me? It's really just the bitchiness and flat out bullying poor Elphie has to put up with, like girl I'd be sick of that too! Cynthia my darling, my beautiful star, I can confirm on repeated viewing your performance is still strong as a mountain and I can't honestly wait to see where it goes this Friday! Ariana still simultaneously drives me nuts and makes me laugh my ass off, I never really gravitated towards ditzy characters regardless of gender but Glinda for some reason just works for me so well. Will however state none of the songs really grabbed me second time around, closest we kinda got was Defying Gravity but you know that's our big fuck off emotional catharsis song so of course it has a higher standing, and I can practically hear the theater kids lighting their torches in the distance due to that remark to which I say unto you, we got a whole other movie that could change my mind so chill out. And yeah that's something I really gotta take into consideration, it's not a complete movie or experience until credits roll on Wicked For Good. And yes even despite my grumblings on the story and characters, I am strongly curious to see what could possibly come next. Like how much of the Wizard Of Oz will we retread? Will we see Elphaba become a much colder, darker, malevolent force? How the hell are the Silver Slippers gonna come into play cause as far as I know they belong to Nessarose and Dorothy has them by the time she returns to the Emerald City soooo are they really gonna kill off the protagonist's sister? It would be ballsy. So obviously I have interest still, I no doubt will see many pairings of black and pink, green skin and plain skin which is marvellous. Make movies events, you only live once. Did I friggin' call it or what on the whole costuming and production winning Oscar gold? I mean fuck the Academy Award's straight to hell you no film watching hack twats, but I love when I'm right (which is often)! I'm getting way off track here but you want opinions, you'll get opinions. So bottom line the production is more what keeps it at an 8/10 overall, if we judged purely on story this would actually be skirting a 6/10, but who the hell am I to talk? We gotta finish the damn movie first so I will see you at the movies!

The Lost World (1925)

Welcome to the 100th anniversary of the first dinosaur movie.

I truly feel that The Lost World is one of the most important and monumental films ever created. Really break this down with me, we can view a film a century old and silent films are a rare breed considering the vast majority are lost, this is the film that showcased Willis O'Brien and his craft of stop motion effects that would inspire generations to come like Ray Harryhausen and Phil Tippet, you get to see how the world viewed dinosaurs 100 years before in terms of appearance and behavior that still has left an impact to this very day in cinema, and the author himself of the original story Sir Arthur Conan Doyle not only was able to see the film and enjoyed it but the filmmakers got the man himself to introduce the picture. That retinue alone should make this one of the greatest films ever made, and I'm happy to say that. Even as a lover of silent cinema this film intrigued me, shocked me, made me laugh, and get very emotionally invested throughout. Now I did a wee bit of research concerning the runtime and I found there's an hour version and a hundred minute version, I picked the latter which is not only available on the Youtubes but is showcased in high definition with the proper color tinting so that's the one I strongly recommend. The story involves a reporter who hears claims of an explorer who encountered the ancient terrible lizards in the Amazon, and joins the expedition not only for the story but also to aid a young lady to find her father. What follows is a high scale adventure evading ravenous dinosaurs, trekking through caves and jungle, and as old Hollywood is wont to do find romance in the process. Despite the reporter named Ed being the main focus I truly feel the real main character is the young girl Paula played by Bessie Stone. Nowwww am I slightly smitten by this little lady? Yes! But that is not coloring my perception of the film, she wants to find her father who got marooned there, she has a romance with Ed, she's easily the best damn character in the movie emotionally, this truly is her show. That and I was having several meltdowns over how frick fraking pretty she is, oh my God! I gotta move on. I quite liked the professor who originally stumbled across the dinosaur laden land played by Wallace Beery, he almost has this burly crazy haired look like he got abandoned on that lost world and his rageful outbursts against reporters just cracked me up. I actually really appreciate the different protagonists that make up this expedition, you got the everyman reporter, the sweet charming lady, the game hunter, the experienced leader of the party, and the more academic centered professor. All the characters work very nicely together and despite the obvious lack of sound have good chemistry on screen, and this is one of the few instances where I wish I could hear their voices. The scope of the production is nothing short of stellar, from the lavishly dressed buildings of civilization, to the dense foliage of the jungle, from the painted backdrops to the really real fire scorched landscapes this is a damn well made movie and we haven't even got to the dinosaurs yet! How the hell am I gonna talk about all of this and not take an Age to put it all down? Holy moly guacamole these dinosaurs are the bee's knees! The design of their shape, the texture of their hides, the fact they fuggin' BREATHE, this is too amazing for words. I revelled in every second and wondered in awe how they even got some of these shots, this is a groundbreaking piece of cinema that truly had no equal for years, maybe even decades to come depending on who you ask. It's so timeless and yet classic, it was kinda scary at a certain point and my God this movie is gory as shit which really shocked me! Like it doesn't shy away from what carnivores do to herbivores, and most of the scientific information was spot on for 1925! Interesting choice to go for an Allosaurus instead of a vastly more popular Tyrannosaurus Rex, but the inclusion of Brachiosaurus, Triceratops, Pterodactyl, and a Stegosaurus lends itself quite nicely to the variety. I feel the movie is entertaining enough to where you're not just waiting for the stopmotion creatures to appear, but man are they still a highlight all these years later! So damn influential, so damn amazing, I know 5 year old me would treasure this movie if I saw it back then. Really only negative I could throw at it is I'm pretty sure, like 109% sure, we have a heavily unfortunate case of blackface for one character and yeah I know it's the 1920s it ain't gonna perfectly congeal with 2025 ethics, but it still sucks. So that'll knock the final score down but this is still a truly great movie that I feel like a total ass for waiting three decades of life to finally watch it! 4 stars, 9/10, and we're jumping ahead to the sound era of the 30s next time!

Death Of A Unicorn

Weirdest damn ending I have seen in considerable time!

But bless A24 for just existing. If you've seen the trailer for this movie, it is exactly what is advertised! A dark comedy centered on a single dad and his daughter who meet with a very affluent family after ramming into a unicorn on the road and have the bright idea to bring the mostly dead creature with them, until bodies start getting gored by the big mama of the family. I would claim fucking white people as to why there are so many consecutive horrible decisions in this movie but I can much more safely say fucking rich people, oh big shock there that they continuously rape a situation from bad to worse but my dear lord I have rarely seen a cast of characters so utterly contemptable and annoying in all my years. When there's only two characters I like, Wednesday and Victor Zsasz we got problems! Yeah, even Paul Rudd is a tool of the highest proportions which on one hand I commend to see him as this not 100% altruistic guy like usual but oof, he was getting zero love from me from almost the word go. Not to say the acting is bad, quite far from it! Do I look like the kind of Dude who is going to be upset seeing Richard E. Grant in anything? Him, Tèa Leoni, and Will Poulter play these self serving rich asshats so incredibly well with good humor sprinkled in, that I kinda forget I'm watching actors. It's that Umbridge Effect as I like to call it. It's actually funny how if you took the bloody as hell kills and swearing out, this is almost shockingly like a low effort family film, this distant work addicted dad gets to grow closer to his daughter after harming a mythical creature that these money grubbing swine that he works with want to capture and profit from the magical beast but they stop them in the end, hooray! Which is either unintentional genius or they knew what kind of tone they wanted and just cranked up the adult elements. But it's an okay movie, the dark humor doesn't hit constantly but certainly had it's moments, the setting is simple and it does have pretty scenery, the soundtrack once again was kinda doing it for me, the effects are solid and the way they kinda get free reign to make up the magic abilities of the unicorn was fun, and the story while simple still worked. I think I do see it more as a movie that gets a bigger crowd years down the road once it hits video, but it's worth a watch at the cinemas if the trailer striked your fancy a little bit. Far from their best but decent stuff! 2.5 stars, 7/10, and that about does it for a good while until the next new release comes out so be safe, be good people, and I'll see you at the movies.

The War Of The Rohirrim

Hmm, okay.

I'll admit when I first heard about this project it certainly had my attention, but sweet Jesus Lord Of The Rings is already a niche, anime even more so a niche, so combining the two is a bold move shall we say. Set roughly 200 years before The War Of The Ring we follow the rule of Helm Hammerhand and more importantly his daughter Hera, who when confronted by the son of a rival clan to claim the throne are pushed beyond both's limits in a quest to reclaim a homeland and slay a few Mumakils along the way. And for a runtime of over 2 hours they don't really rush any part of it, however I can absolutely say that the overall writing in all aspects needed some work. Not that it's bad exactly, but just needed some extra polish. Obviously I'm an easy ass sell for redhaired badasses, and Gaia Wise as Hera is a good lead that is both easy to understand and easy to cheer on but what surprised me was she's not action hero all the time, she gets beat, she gets kidnapped, she has moments of sadness and distress but when push comes to shove she ain't backing down. Brian Cox as Hammerhand does indeed command respect and to see any adaptation of this famed figure of the expanded history of Middle-Earth is damn cool to see and a plot point regarding him once they reach Helm's Deep was easily my favorite part of the film. Luke Pasqualino as Wulf, oh my God this is zero percent the actor's fault but this antagonist is so one note and completely uninteresting, always the relentless warmongering mad dog when I genuinely thought the relationship between him and Hera would have added some much much needed dimension to get better invested in the story, but alas. Also shoutout to Miranda Otto for being our narrator, you still friggin' rock! The animation is...interesting, often combining 3D backgrounds with 2D characters leading to the result being a sometimes janky but serviceable style, that still lends itself to some gorgeous scenery and can lean into more visually striking fights than live action could deliver. The score is decent, and I won't lie hearing the Rohan theme on theater sound systems after 21 years was beautiful. But yeah, the story and characters while decent didn't pack nearly the punch the trilogy did and just to piss off a select few of the fandom, I'd rather watch Rings Of Power again though that is highly unfair comparing a series to a singular film, it is unequivocably true for me. And doing a pinky finger's worth of research to learn this movie was made entirely just so New Line Cinema wouldn't lose the Lord Of The Rings rights really doesn't do this movie any favors in the long run. It absolutely leans into the visual style of those films from the Oliphaunts, to another Watcher in the water, exact copies of Edoras and Helm's Deep in terms of architecture, Orthanc popping up at a point, some lines of dialogue are similar but not exact to quotes from the trilogy, may or may not be a welcome surprise cameo from one of the classics, and that's all cool to see do not get me wrong. I'm a fucking nerd for this stuff and have been since I was 6 or 7 so trust in me when I say I did not walk in to slash and hack this movie. It's decent, it's okay, undoubtedly for megafans of this series to even watch in the first place, and hey man it is entirely feasible for many to walk out of this more happy than I was. I give it 2.5 stars, 7/10! What a week, and thankfully next week will be much easier with just an In Retrospect and new release to a highly anticipated video game series.

Over The Garden Wall

I don't know what I just watched. I loved it though!

What even in the hell is this? It might be the strangest show I've ever known and if you've stuck around long enough with me I have seen some weird shit man. It's the most barebones synopsis in the world but the progression and details of the story are the interesting parts, two brothers Wirt and Greg are lost in the woods and have to find their way back home. Simple and easy to understand....annnnd then we meet pumpkin people, frogs attending a swanky party on a paddle steamer, and some eldritch horror known only as The Beast. What the actual fuck have I been doing with my life?? Yeah I'm late to the party on this one big time with the mini-series being broadcasted back in 2014 so hey 10 year anniversary woohoo, but it's always been on the outskirts of my radar and on Halloween no less this year Cartoon Network played it in full. 10 episodes, pretty much ten minutes each, so feature film length by the skin of it's teeth. Granted I knew precisely zilch about it other than it was pretty damn good from various people throughout the years. I barely know where to start but all I'll say is I'm kinda pissed at myself not watching this in senior year of high school. You know how I always talk about that "exquisite fall atmosphere", well this is the gold standard that probably will never be matched again, this is the autumn of my dreams with grey skies, colorful leaves, and old trails to wander. Visuals alone, 20/10! But I greatly enjoyed the odyssey these two brothers went on, it's offbeat entirely but still has a certain charm about it that makes you not want to put it down until it's done. Wirt is a much older kid in high school with all the growing maturity, logic, and even depression that sets in around that time, and Elijah Wood who I didn't even recognize until end credits popped up does a very good job giving a lot of character to a very white bread protagonist. Collin Dean as Greg is my highlight of the whole show catalyzing exactly what young kids are like, they are friggin' little oddballs with no sense of focus or tact and it's marvellous how real it feels, hilarious and endearing to watch. Melanie Lynskye as Beatrice a talking bluebird that acts as a guide through the woods actually had a very good backstory that gets revealed later and her sassy attitude was a joy to watch, nothing super deep but effortlessly engrossing. It was wild to hear Christopher Lloyd as a returning character of the Woodsman, he does fine work with the material but there clearly is more to this guy's past than the show lets on and while you wish to know more wraps everything up in a nice bow. And last bit far far from least as the Beast we have Samuel Ramey, who creeped the ever living shit out of me from first appearance to last appearance tapping into that fear of unearthly glowing eyes, and although it doesn't honestly have that much screentime or do that much the way the world reacts around it is what gives it presence and gravity. In fact there were a few moments in this show where for just a single solitary second fear gripped my heart, it can be horrific even for adults and definitely scary to younger kids but the show has a good balance. The fantasy element is high and the best way I can sum it all up is there's a shot of a wooden boat on a lake with a fish sitting in it with a lure cast into the water, undeniably distinct and imaginative and when coupled with the atmosphere and scenery you have yourself an unforgettable thing. It's even kind of a musical somehow? There's a good few vocal performances that range from silly made up kid songs to stunning soaring serenades, and it wouldn't surprise me for a second if there indeed was a soundtrack available online. I'm almost speechless at this, I will go out of my way to buy this show and you can bet your ass it is going to be a staple of October viewing for years to come. Simplicity goes a long way, anyone can watch it and enjoy it whether it's immersed fully or just leisurly viewing, admittedly if you're a lover of fun and fancy free entertainment this is gonna hit more your stride but I still say watch it and make up your own mind. It could do something for you. I walked into the unknown as much as Wirt and Greg did but coming out on the other side made me realize how amazing the trip was. 4 stars easily, 9.5/10, and now comes the part where the seasons relieve me of the joy of autumn and non-christmasy things but why should that stop me from denying the holiday cheer?

Wicked

Well that kinda ruins Wizard Of Oz for me.

Not even because it's bad, far from it but this story does indeed take things from a certain point of view. Now I haven't seen the musical, frankly I feel like I should after seeing the movie, so we just gotta go off the movie as gospel. I bet most people didn't know the musical itself is based off a book painting the Wicked Witch as a more sympathetic character and is one of the few villain origin stories I know of. So we follow the life of Elphaba from childhood transitioning into her magic school years where she's horribly ostricized by her peers but makes an unlikely friend in the most popular witch Glinda before getting swept up in this plot that I just can't fully divulge into. For a film pushing nearly 3 hours with credits it breezed by and I like the pace of it, presumably this is act 1 before the intermission on stage so it doesn't have to rush anything. Granted I wasn't that big a fan of how they potray the denizens of Oz, I mean I get it we have to score sympathy points for Elphaba somehow, but I can't decide if this is terrible screen writing or just shitty character writing, but everybody save for like 5 characters are the biggest biased bitches who treat Elphaba like she's the walking plague, constantly giving her good grief to the point where we just cross over into Mean Girls territory and I hate that movie with my entire soul, it's just grating. And even Glinda takes a minute to warm up to her, thank God she actually grew a spine or I'd want to shove the silver slippers straight up her tightwad ass. Now the acting from Cynthia and Arianna is actually really good, perfectly embedding themselves in these characters, stage differences be damned. Cynthia easily has the most emotional performance and indeed I had at least two or three moments where the waterworks were welling up, obviously she's our main character so we get the most insight into Elphaba's character as a ultimately good willed and kind spirit and I think she did a marvellous job bringing the heart and vocals big time. Arianna truthfully made me laugh my ass off despite the valley girl ditz and rudeness, she still has those pipes, and while it took a hot minute for Glinda to make friends with Elphaba I did buy the friendship between the two a good deal. Jonathan Bailey as a quasi-love interest between Elphy and Glinda, Fiyero is a self proclaimed shallow and self centered man and yet somehow is charming and a joy to watch. Now that's gotta be witchcraft. He may even have my favorite song number, he's just a shameless flirt and kind of a big dumb hunk, I have no idea what happened but I rather like him! Michelle Yeoh hell yeah, get to see my lady woman in another role as the most prolific professor of the magic university Madame Morrible was a treat to watch and she had more to do than just be a mentor figure so that was nice. Jeff Goldblum, I don't know whose call this was to get him as the Wizard but I strongly applaud that person because it is about as strange as you would expect but is so fun to just see him kinda screw around and just have a fun time performing so that was excellent. The set design and costuming is practically a character in and of itself, they spared no expense in this production showing a good scale of familair and new Oz locations with stellar and I do mean stellar costuming. Probably gonna be the easiest Oscar snag we've seen in recent memory to be honest! As for the musical numbers, though I didn't have any I absolutely adored or feverishly abhorred they were decent songs with full fledged choreographed dances included most times, yeah it's an actual lavish musical, but the vocal performances were spot on throughout! Had no friggin' clue this was part one so I felt slightly baited and switched but that also means I can't judge it because it isn't fully out yet! It's Dune all over again. So as a placeholder score I give it 3 stars, 8/10! I enjoyed it a good deal and can recommend it whether you've seen the stage show or not, and it was fun to waffle on about Wizard Of Oz for a week. Sadly I don't have much planned for next week due to the holiday and I was trying to find something fitting that exquisite fall atmosphere so join me next week for a very overlooked Cartoon Network series.

Oz The Great And Powerful

I have notes.

Yes the Oz adaptation precisely zero people have talked about for over a decade now, so what did I think? I'll disclaimer this upfront, I don't think an origin for the Wizard is a bad idea really I don't, because it's been a question I'm sure many people have had and this is still during a time when prequels were frowned upon. It's really not bad crafting it's own mythos while taking a fair bit from the books and the 1939 film, with a circus magician getting whisked away in a twister and finds himself embroiled in a three way power struggle between witches as he is hailed as the Lisan al-Gaib despite multiple instances to the contrary. That's kind of an interesting premise seeing this conman get hip deep in this fantasy world between warring factions, and I do truly feel that while James Franco wasn't exactly a no brainer pick for Oz his charm and humor carried this film tremendously. He was a joy to watch and I appreciate the fact they don't go down some typical lame ass liar revealed trope, as he actually does let people peak behind the curtain to see his true self, it adds dynamic and even a sweet moment or two because of it. He's truly a great lead through and through. Also just need to shoutout Joey King as the China Girl, hands down my favorite character, would easily die for her, my heart and soul in this movie! This fairly hurts to say because we do have talented people on this cast, and it's not even that they did a bad job but it just missed something extra to make it come together. Rachel Weisz you rock, I'll never say a bad thing about your acting but I feel the script is at fault with most of the other characters not giving much for them to do cause she's one of the witches and has a semi-important role to play but the poor lady just has nothing to grasp onto. Michelle Williams as Glenda has a little bit to work off of, the dynamic with Oz and his lack of magic, the death of her father who was the last king of Ozdom, she at least has a direction to go in. And Mila Kunis as Theodora, this gets into spoilers but it's important to talk about, again not a first choice candidate to play the Wicked Witch but...oof. Okay I don't ever like doing this, I got nothing from her performance and feel this is where the writing took a horrid nose dive, essentially making one of the most iconic villains in cinema a spiteful ex-girlfriend who gets tricked into becoming the green skinned pyro thrower we know, and this is pure subjective taste by the way when I say her design was so not it looking more akin to The Mask than the Wicked Witch. Big letdown in my opinion overall for her character but you know what? It gave me a negative so I can walk into Wicked looking for a positive so even then it has a greater purpose. I was rather shocked to say the least knowing Sam Raimi directed this movie but I applaud him for wanting to put as much practical sets in as possible, it's a heavy ass CG movie because of the outlandish terrain of the world of Oz and indeed has moments of beauty to it yet I still strongly appreciate giving the actors something to work with. It also was made during that mini 3D craze so you get those certain shots that are noticeable but aren't completely egregious. And for a over 2 hour movie it doesn't feel that long yet simultaneously feels like it should be longer to get more connection to the characters which I feel is the Achille's heel of it all. The visuals are okay, the story has some intrigue, but I couldn't get completely invested. But hey, if something doesn't work for me it can work for someone! I liked seeing a different iteration of the land of Oz, I liked seeing James play this charming charlatan, the little China Girl is treasured and I will not hear slander against her or I will smite you, even the majority of the humor got me rolling! It's far from a waste even if not everything landed just right and it makes me all the more curious to see Wicked! Know next door to nothing about it aside from trailers, yet I'm walking in with an open mind. As for this I give it 2 stars, 6/10!

The Wizard Of Oz

Weird to think I got to Return To Oz years before touching the original.

I mean is there even a point to review Wizard Of Oz? So many people have watched it from a young age, myself included but I'll admit it's probably been 20 years since I last saw it, and yet it leaves such an indelible mark on everyone to where you can recount the film almost flawlessly even if you've seen it just once. Young farm girl from Kansas named Dorothy is bored with her life, tornado transports her to the magical land of Oz where she hits the radar of two witches as she gains magical ruby slippers, and a quest to return home begins as Dorothy encounters a Scarecrow with no brain, a Tin Man with no heart, and a Cowardly Lion lacking courage as they venture to the Emerald City to speak with the eponymous Wizard. I have absolutely no clue why this story is as memorable or as engrossing in the culture 85 years later, but I can pin it down on one particular thing. This movie is a weird movie, break it down anyway you like from the plot or the production or anything and there simply is no other film like it, and your brain remembers such elements because of how strange it is. Hell the scope of the, for lack of a better word, "iceberg" this movie has gained for almost a century is kinda wild, break this down with me here. We have just the iconography of the land of Oz and all the design choices firmly embedded like Wile E. Coyote into the ground of our pop culture, Margaret Hamilton appearing on Mr. Rogers showing off her costume and telling kids not to be afraid of witches, we have a myth of one of the actors commiting suicide on film by hanging, we have the coded phrase "friends of Dorothy" used for decades by homosexuals seeking like minded people, we have Dark Side Of The fraking MOON somehow syncing up to the first 40 minutes of the film! Star Wars ain't got shit on the levels of lore The Wizard Of Oz has garnered. It should be impossible for a film like this to have gained this much of a reputation, and from the 1930s??? Many people think it was the 50s because that's when color film entered the fray, and speaking of which could you imagine walking into this movie in 1939 and seeing the kaleidoscope of color presented here? The color footage itself was nothing short of a gamble on an experimental method by the future kings themselves Technicolor! What even is this movie?? It has to be magic, there's just no way. And I'll level with you right here right now, this movie scared me a bit as a kid, not just the Witch though her red smoke and fireball entrance is still incredible, but the talking trees, the haunted forest, the flying monkeys still kinda weird me out a bit, the flippin' twister that's some scary stuff right there, but the big one strangely was the red sand hourglass counting down until the Witch was going to kill Dorothy which just set my nerves on edge and filled me with dread and uncertainty, and it's still as vivid a feeling way back when in contrast to now. I will freely admit though for a musical, the songs are often pretty dang short but they hit frequently enough to justify that genre and are all memorable as the film itself. I feel Judy Garland gets all the spotlight for this film and for just being 16 she does do mighty good, easily playing a girl with a heart of gold and she can hit those emotional marks especially towards the end, not even acting but seemingly being Dorothy! But I have to give fair dues to everyone here. Margaret Hamilton by all accounts was a joy and to know she was a big fan of the books and easily crafted top 10 movie villain material is positively legendary in my book! In fact if I was being both incredibly honest and yet also praising to the heavens, the Wicked Witch is childhood fears solidified and personified in one clean move. Is it any wonder this character has practically grown into her own outside of this film? Ray Bolger as the Scarecrow, about as nàive as Dorothy but a stalwart friend to the end and probably aside from the Witch is my favorite character, and trivia note here on rewatch, with the high definition transfer you can notice the face makeup looks like burlap bags, awesome! Jack Haley as the Tin Man, who has my vote for best design among our protagonists is more easily than others coded as a friend of Dorothy, with a sentimental glean in his eye and a more femme voice and mannerism but it certainly doesn't detract from the performance! And of course Bert Lahr as our wannabe king of the forest as the Lion, I don't know what it is but his performance still got as much a kick out of me as it did when I was younger, the physical acting and the accent just add to the humor so well and hands down was my favorite as a kid, so it's good to know somethings never change. And I would be remiss to leave out Frank Morgan as the Wizard, even though you don't truly see him much until the end he has this affability and knowledge about him, after all 'wizard' is an off shoot of 'wise one', so he has that quality to him even if it doesn't match what we think of when we hear the term nowadays. Now the production value was insanely huge for 1939, over 2 million smackaroos as a matter of fact but every penny can be seen on screen from environment pieces certainly, architecture, costuming especially, painted backdrops that yeah are noticeable, but it's a technical marvel to behold in all seriousness fully showcasing fantasy and imagination and that my dear ones are what movies are made for. Even if the story doesn't necessarily do much for you, there is far more that you can appreciate on screen. I keep trying to wrap my head around the impact this movie has, which is funny because it barely made it's money back but as time passed it was re-released, it was broadcasted on television a lot, home video came around and through persistence got to be an untempered classic. I don't really know what to rate it, I feel it's above such things but if I had to lay it all down and put a number to it I'd give it 4 stars, 9/10! And now we turn the clock simultaneously forward and backward to the 2013 prequel so stay tuned until next time.

Agatha All Along

How the hell am I supposed to say no to Kathryn and Aubrey? I have an iron will, but even iron melts under enough heat.

Oooooh boy! Wow how in the world do I sum this up and all my myriad thoughts? Well, disclaimer up front I did not rewatch Wandavision, I did not read up on the finale of Wandavision, so we're walking into this sorta blind. We kinda kick off in the same fashion where Agatha is now Agnes, a police detective in the town of Westview and by the by I would gladly watch several seasons of that show within a show, before the facade is ripped away and Agatha is on a quest to get her groove back along with a ragtag coven of witches. I...barely know where to start. Deep slow breaths, maintain composure. You didn't have to sell me on this show beyond Kathryn and if you thought I was crushing before this, it is getting plain out of hand at this point! Whatever service or favor I did to get this show and the things therein, clearly I need to double down on my next sacrifice or favor because this could not have hit more of my buttons coincidentally. I do not need to tell you how good of an acting job she does, Agatha is kind of my role model in this and firmly exemplifies why I love villains. Total sassy smartass, out for herself, opportunistic, just flawless qualities. Dare I say, I'm smitten. Joe Locke is our young nàive witch in training William, sort of taken under Agatha's wing as he seeks The Witch's Road, a gauntlet task that offers any wish to the victor. He has a lot of charm and likability, a very good secondary lead that comes to a bigger role in the end. Then we have our coven comprising of four witches, each with a specific field of magic they are proficient in but have more character than just a role. Sasheer Zatama as Jennifer, a potions heavy witch with a negatively charged past with Agatha, a hard sell on the Road trip but comes in handy a good few times. Then we have Patti LuPone as Lilia, possesing a unique gift of divination but often remembers things the wrong way around, I really liked her backstory and the kindness but realism of her place in the world was a nice touch. Of course we need some muscle in a crew so enter Ali Ahn as Alice, bit more hardheaded and has a rough past with a proclivity for protection spells because of it, I almost felt there was a romance thing between her and William but then I remembered that boy be just 16 and I shot that down quick, I'm a sucker for a strong lady too. And oho Aubrey Plaza madwoman that she is, basically the antagonistic wild card thrown in the mix as Rio, that none of the others trust but have to rely on her earth magic, it's easily the most serious part I've ever seen her in and she does pretty solid work showing she can do dramatic parts but chooses not to. Respect. Actually now that I think about it, the series has a pretty good way of unfolding with 9 episodes (ooh scandalous breaking the rule of 8) each ranging from 30 to 45 minutes, and while the cliffhangers save for one aren't earth shattering it doesn't dawdle. We get Agatha back, she starts up her makeshift coven, and the vast majority is them travelling the winding road with challenges and personalities clashing. They really do not waste a minute of your time and don't even truly have to balance several plots and focuses more on the characters and their situations. That's grand! And the overall production and more importantly the style herein is what made me love it as much as I did, fully embellishing the witch imagery from contesting stereotypes to little nods in the background of witchy cinema from the past made it highly enjoyable to watch. There's even some artsy gorgeous shots at periods, with the love and care present in all aspects of the production. It engrossed me and how many times can I say that about Marvel? The humor, the situations, the characters, the story and themes gave me so much to enjoy. It's funny how I barely ever go out of my way to watch the MCU but all the stuff I do pick hasn't failed me yet from Doctor Strange, to She-Hulk, to Iron Man 1, to Agatha, I don't miss probably because I know my tastes. Very very happy to have watched this and though I doubt there will be a seaon two, this was a nice remedy for me in the post Halloween blues. I give it 3.5 stars, 8/10! And oh yes it is time again to visit Gotham, happy days!

The Rings Of Power (Season 2)

Elen síla lúmmen' omentielvo.

Soooo how long until that next season? Not that it ended on the cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers but I'm invested now gosh dang it! Is it an improvement on the first season? Well I certainly understand and enjoy the foundations set during the first season but seeing it be built upon did make the experience all the more better. And much like The Acolyte I was delving into the deep waters on social media every week finding great enjoyment in fans of this show, talking theories, praising characters, thirsting the hell over the Great Deceiver, good times! So barely a smidge of time has passed since the forging of the Three, with the elves of Lindon coming to terms with this new power, Celebrimbor forging the Seven with a less than altruistic hand, the dwarves having hardships all their own, Numenor in upheaval, and the Istar seeking answers in faraway lands. The escalation feels just right, we've gotten introduced to these characters so now we get to see them be put through the ringer (ba dum tss!) and go through some tribulations. Galadriel forgoes the tunnel vision warrior and seeks a bit of redemption involving her psycho ex-boyfriend, Morfydd is still bringing it maybe even more so than the last with plenty of intense eye acting to boot. Elrond has become very distrusting and shuns the usage of the Rings but honestly can you blame him over that debacle and a half cause I sure can't, with Robert showing a lot of the hits Elrond is taking and props to him for bringing further warrior credit to this character. Durin faces a crisis in Khazad-Dûm and grapples with parental figures, with Owain's performance and just the overall dwarf storyline honestly making my second favorite plot thread of this season. However number one probably with most other viewers goes straight to Charles and Charlie documenting the forging of more rings and the subsequent fall of Celebrimbor at the hands of the Lord of Gifts Annatar, I would be here all flip flapping week praising this storyline and these performances, a sheer mastercraft of acting in not just fantasy but fiction, giving so many shades of delicious devilry Charlie can dig deep into as Sauron proving the reveal was not just a one trick pony while Charles gives even at a certain point a Shakesperian style potrayal to a pivotal character in this lore. And for a brief moment let's talk Sam Hazeldine as our new Adar, I did enjoy the performance taking on the shape of a more angry and ruthless leader of the Uruks that undoubtedly is markedly different from his predecessor yet it still works well within the narrative and I did wonder if he would live to see another season. While I know the events to come for Numènor to see it all slowly come into place was infuriating but in the right way, with Cynthia, Lloyd, and Trystan delivering almost a straight up political drama in the midst of it all as a struggle for the throne is in effect. I'll admit though obviously there was a point to catching up with the Southlanders, and indeed Ismael, Maxim, and newcomer to the cast Nia have moments that stop it from being uninteresting or filler I know it's more stepping stones for season 3 type stuff. But bless them all the Harfoot storyline was the shortest of all the plot threads which I feel is a shame because I can dig that story and really like these characters, finally giving Daniel the room to stretch his wings and while I can argue against the ending of that segment Markella pulls through all the way still being a ray of sunshine along with Megan in this darker more serious season. I honestly love how the show wastes zero runtime on catching you up, a helpful recap exists but they throw you right into the fire blowing full steam ahead because you know the drill, if you stuck around for part one you're ready to strap the hell in and get seated. It really is a tremendous difference between watching each week and marathoning in one go, which is funny coming from me because technically I did both but having that downtime, that buildup of anticipation, when Thursday hits no matter what comes through that gate you will stand your ground. Oooooohhh boy did we get some, so much in fact it's overwhelming my memory core to name them all! Do I hear lightning in the distance? It's about that time. Opening sequence, holy balls of fire that was something I wanted to see since mentioned in season one and it didn't disappoint for a second! Seeing the rings in action, yes please. Unknown Dark Wizard, you have a fair bit of my intrigue and solid acting as well I'll say! Glüg nation I see you and respect you strongly. Ohh sweet heavens the Ents, the Eeeennnnts, to say I got emotional over trees would be an understatement dear friends. I know I live a Hobbit lifestyle and have far before I knew the words 'Hobbit' or 'Shire', but I can roll with the dwarves man I truly feel I could fit in well there. Disa you still own my heart. I really really want Annatar's robes and perhaps even a dark crown for...reasons. Totally not to woo lady elves. Which by the way Twitter you gotta chill, I haven't seen this much shameless crushing and degeneracy since well, Qimir. But are they wrong about the whole Haladriel thing or even the Oshamir thing? Nnnno! Friggin' Barrow-wights bro, absolutely stellar and terrifying, 10/10! Kemen you little shit I know guns aren't even a thing yet but I want someone to shoot your roman looking bitch boy ass down, or donated to the nearest temple [cough cough wink wink]. All the orc actors, absolute treasures and I will goddamn well clap! Bear McCreary you absolute madman I will listen to the entire soundtrack, starting with the obvious crown jewel of both seasons The Last Ballad Of Damrod, because how could I not. Big time props to whichever writer it was who first go around gave us the Elrond & Durin bromance and this go around gave us the manipulations of Sauron, which by the by I am so sorry if anyone has been through such toxic nonsense. That was the standout pieces of writing for me. And lastly, this is just my opinion so don't turn me into a sword pincushion, best adaptation of a character from page to screen hands down Old Tom Bombadil. I said what I said and I meant what I meant. Same amount of detail and even a larger scope, with a lot more love I think to the costumes with bevvies of elves, dwarves, and orcs present. The special effects and prosthetics are spot on and just overall technical wise it's an improvement in my book. There really was only two dislikes for this show so far, I don't know if they would be considered spoilers but I'll treat them as such anyway. The first which was polarizing for many fans, now do I get it? Yes. Do I understand why? Yes. Does that mean I have to like it? NOPE! The second I felt was just very slapdash writing and lacked proper reasoning as to why a party splits up, maybe I missed something I was in a teeny bit of a rush to get the show done before the other more boring work began so I will endeavor to watch it again but it just felt way off in left field. Otherwise another great season that come last episode made me a feverish mess trying to guess what would happen next, 4 stars easily, 9/10, and we finally get to the spooky goodness next week with a modern horror trilogy so until then. Namárië.