The Worst Witch

Maybe I spoke too soon on the whole cult movie thing.

Cause there are cult movies and then there are CULT movies, and I don't think it gets cultier than this. I'm sure I discovered this movie existed along with several other individuals through the magic of YouTube with Tim Curry's smash hit Anything Can Happen On Halloween and I decided sod it, let's see the movie. It's...humble. That's the best way I could describe it, it's a TV movie on a shoestring budget in the mid 80s, concerning a young but clumsy witch by the name of Mildred Hubble as she desperately tries to learn magic at a prodigious school. That's the basic gist and for a movie at a whopping 80 minutes, actually has a pretty decent pace and doesn't get super involved. It's really some Halloween fluff for young kids but has a bit of charm to it. I'm almost certain I would treasure this movie if I saw it around the age of 5, like I did with stuff like Halloweentown, and I know it is far far from everyone's taste but I actually quite liked it. I think the reason it worked so well for me is due to the cast, Fairuza Balk is great in this movie! She has so much heart and makes it all seem believable, she really did come into this with the best attitude and now I can say I've seen her in 2 witchy films. Diana Rigg is in the movie too, it's kinda wild how we got a quantum of star power into this, and likewise she plays it incredibly straight taking on a very genderbent Severus Snape role which I didn't quite know I needed in life but she's a treasure. It's actually kinda funny knowing Tim who plays The Grand Wizard is the best known part of the movie but he's maybe in it for a bit over 5 minutes, and it's even more hilarious cause every girl at this school, student or teacher, goes absolutely gaga for him! It was a different time, you could be like 9 years old and crush hardcore on a guy three times your age there was nothing weird about it back then. He is pretty majestic and God knows if I had the time and materials he would be my Halloween costume without question or doubt, and the song is magnificently bizzare in a way only the 80s could deliver. It's a extremely rudimentary film but if you like that sort of underground, buried, long forgotten sort of mood to productions where you can just get in the mindset and have fun with it, even if you see it just once you might like it a fair bit. The movie produced one of the most boisterously evil laughs of my life, and it was indeed unironically funny at times but for that alone it gets a gold sticky star from me. You can find the whole flippin' film on the YouTubes so if you need an hour to burn might as well see green screen witches flying about. 3 stars, 7.5/10, and tomorrow we get to a film that once again I could have sworn I reviewed years ago. Old age, it's not fun kids.

Last Night In Soho

Oh my God. Where do I start?

This is easily one of those movies that I have a lot to say but can't. It's truly a film that must be experienced, and it surpassed greatly what little expectations I had for it. It follows a young girl named Ella who moves out of the quiet countryside straight to London to become a fashion designer, and starts to have strange dreams of a young performer in the mid 1960s, as reality and dreams shift, merge, and stir madness. I swear if this movie does not nab best director, cinematography, editing, picture at the Oscars I will f***ing riot. It has been too damn long since I have seen a film this good looking. The colors are nothing short of kaleidoscopic, the editing and framing is a masterclass, the performances are so engrossing, the music selection is very good, just all the technicals are top notch. Speaking of performances, I would die to protect Thomasin McKenzie she is so sweet and charming, such a great lead for this film and she carried it brilliantly. Believe it or not, I'm gonna have a hard time seeing Anya Taylor-Joy as anyone but aspiring star Sandie, she could not have looked better and more suited in 60s style and fashion if she tried, despite me seeing her in other stuff. Her story only gets more involved and it had me hook, line, and sinker. Matt Smith is a dashing young man in a plot involving time travel, I'm trying so hard not to go there, and boy is it wonderful to see that handsome man again. Oh, I need to watch The Crown to see more of him. It would take me longer than the movie to gush about these visuals so I'll just say, holy shit. Edgar you mad lad legend, just how did you get it this psychedelic yet refined? Unbelievable. And it dips it's toes into the horror genre without question, though it focuses more on mystery and a severe psychological thriller side of things. All of it plays brilliantly, it's one part The Lovely Bones, one part The Night Walker, with a dash of Mean Girls, and a twist of Cruella, with a cherry on top of Corpse Bride. As last reviews go for October, this was great! 4 stars, 8.5/10, some people will bitch and moan that the plot makes no sense, or it's just artsy for artsy sake, well you can't have too much positivity in the world. Go see it! It's a wild time.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

I don't think George Lazenby is bad.

Most everyone can agree that this movie is great but Lazenby is the weak link, I politely disagree and say George Lazenby does a fine job and I couldn't imagine the film any other way. I couldn't see Connery settle down, Moore quite possibly but never Connery, so I'm happy Lazenby got his one Bond film and is it one of the greats. Set two years after the volcano lair siege, James has been relieved of tracking down Blofeld and subsequently resigns from MI6 and decides to go after Blofeld as a rogue agent. Meanwhile he meets a young lady named Tracy who he is very intrigued by and a romance begins to bloom over time and James Bond has finally found the woman he can call his wife. That's all you need to know story wise, and they handle it so incredibly well giving ample time for both the espionage and the romance. Previous editor of the series Peter Hunt directs this installment with a more cinematic and visual style, coupled with fast paced frenetic editing that accentuates the action quite well, though I could see why some people would say it's choppy and scattered. Cast this time around could not be better, George Lazenby though having no former acting parts holds his own incredibly and is able to make Bond his own and not simply walk in Connery's shadow, with a penchant for heavy handed combat and an entirely believable romance with Tracy. Some people say he is quite wooden in certain scenes, but I see a lot of charisma and many of the Bond characteristics in him that we will continue to see for weeks to come. Diana Rigg is perfection as Countess Teresa de Vicenzo or Tracy to her friends, I cannot ever look anywhere else when she is on screen the sheer magnetism and acting chops she has is no doubt what makes the film so highly regarded amongst fans, I cannot love her performance more. Telly Savalas is an interesting choice for Blofeld after the dead eyed, accentuated Pleasence but has a menace and surprising charisma of his own which again suits the film quite nicely despite the continuity issues it creates. Ilse Steppat has to get a mention, for a henchwoman that doesn't do much villainous things I simply could not forget her performance, bringing humor and a subtle uneasiness to the location of Piz Gloria. Speaking of which, you can totally visit the mountain top restaurant used as the primary base for Blofeld in this movie and I for one love the design and set pieces for each room. I noticed a hell of a lot more action this time around, running the whole gambit of fist fights, car chases, shootouts, and even throws in a thrilling and quite impressive ski chase for good measure, all of which done superbly. And I want to talk about the ending, I really really want to talk about the ending, and I should because it's a very moving and shocking end to an already great movie but I just refuse to spoil it for those that haven't seen it. I will however say the mood and ending is practically assassinated by the choice of music as the credits roll, I mean really? Really?? Could you imagine if they just picked a different song? That is the one major problem with this movie, and I hate it with the fury of a million suns. Oh God, it is the worst thing. Maybe not in the history of the world but it's pretty bad. We were on the verge of greatness, we were this close. Moving on now, do I like it more than You Only Live Twice? Yes. Do I like it more than Goldfinger? Oooh, I don't know. Yes Goldfinger is a solid movie, but this one has impact on the series and it did what other Bond movies couldn't truly do for decades. While it may not be as iconic as Goldfinger, it's a diamond in the rough, and if I'm judging them one to one I have to go with OHMSS. If only by a tiny smidge. 4 stars, 8.5/10, I probably upset some people but I feel the way I feel. So Lazenby left his multi-picture deal unsigned and took his agent's advice that James Bond was heading out the door, and departed the series. So what could you possibly do now? Well

, it's just a jump to the left...