In Retrospect: The Suicide Squad

King Shark is the king of my heart.

Yeah it was fun watching this again in all it's bloodsoaked, gruesome, humorous glory. And I feel I got more out of it the second go around, now that I know all the big stuff I can see the little details. I mean I praise the cast day and night, but dang Margot Robbie has a great little monologue that honestly says more about Harley than anything we've seen in live action. Daniela Melchior has stolen my heart and probably the internet's too, forever being my precious ray of sunshine in this film, she's absolute class 10/10! I do feel ashamed I wasn't party to Idris Elba's acting much before this because my man, my man, I love you my man. But dude James Gunn you are a bastard, you killed Savant who really struck me as a great character and one who I was quickly rooting for and Michael Rooker plays it perfectly. You did have the balls to drop Captain Boomerang and Rick Flagg, and you have my respect for shaking things up. But....how f***ing dare you kill Polka Dot Man. I am never getting over this, the shittin' Weasel lives but my guy dies? Because the second I heard we were getting Polka Dot Man I was ecstatic, and proves once more why David Dastmalchian keeps getting work at DC, because he rocks! And I knew, I frick fraking knew he wasn't gonna make it too, when I saw in the trailer of him triumphantly shouting with joy "I'm a superhero!" I was like well he's about to get shot in the head right after saying that. Asshole. I'm not actually mad at James for doing that, if anything I highly applaud the team here for getting me to care so much about these characters to begin with. I cared enough for the first Squad with Deadshot and all them, and appreciate both films for taking the time out to have emotional moments with these characters period. I dig the style and tone the movie has going for it, almost edging towards Tarantino tribute to 70s cinema but with it's own unique flair to it. I'd still say it's a great movie and clearly has the rewatchability factor to own. So the verdict still stands, 4 stars, 8.5/10. It's never a bad day when you watch a DC movie....except for The Killing Joke. Worthless bitch. And on that joyous remark it is time to end, and pray for me. I beg of you.

The Suicide Squad

Better than The Dark Knight? No. Damn good movie? Yes.

It's probably the most light hearted romp with a hard R rating I've ever seen in my life, juxtapositioning gnarly brutal gore and violence with light comedy and fun characters. The story follows two teams of Task Force X as they are sent to the known DC locale of Corto Maltese to investigate and shut down a government operation known as Starfish as the body count rises and we get to see good adaptations of DC characters both returning and new. Now I still stand by my review of the 2016 original, I still like it, I felt the studio should have kept it's big noses out of a director's work, but it is a movie I enjoy and would call good so this is not devolving to a, well clearly the new Suicide Squad movie is better than that trash. F*** yourself! They're two different movies and both are fine. Granted this one feels strangely a lot similar to the first movie and yet so different. It's heavily stylized, the camera work is more intricate, the blood factor is almost comical in it's excess, and each character gets a good smidge of backstory and personality. It could easily be seen as it's own thing but there's lots to connect it to the first which I like. While I couldn't bash the casting of the original hard, this one is mighty spot on giving the actors to make the character their own and not just feel like they are playing a character in a tight box. Margot Robbie is still royalty, Idris Elba is and has been the man, Daniela Melchior is my moon and stars in this movie, David Dastmalchian is mighty good but I still lean heavily towards his Calendar Man performance, and Sylvester Stallone as King Shark easily was the best character of them all. Yes even above Harley, he's that good, I said it. But even the side characters like Viola Davis, Peter Capaldi, and Michael Rooker were all great. The story is linear and might not make much sense when you break it down but I can truly see this as a movie people will watch again and again. The effects I felt were really good, maybe not enough practical gore but that's a small gripe, King Shark and Starro look good and have spot on textures plus they just have fun with it. I also feel the comedy was balanced, it could have a serious moment, it could have action without a comedy beat, this movie flat out says f*** your feelings they'll kill anyone without hesitation, and I know there will be some jackass chucklehead who will just say, oh it shows how bad the DC movies are that they have to take MCU directors to make their movies better, to which I reply with a quote from the movie "Eat a big bag of dicks." and f***ity bye. It's really good stuff, despite the fact they killed nearly every character I liked a lot so the verdict is .5/10. I'm just kidding, it upsets me but I'll get over. 4 stars, 8.5/10, this will be the last new movie for a bit but there's always stuff to talk about. Be good people.

In Retrospect: Bumblebee

It's still pretty awesome guys.

Like come on man, the best Transformers movie we've gotten since the animated one and it deserves to just scratch the 5 other movies out with as much white-out that you can get your hands on. And a nuke. I stand by everything I said last time, why did it take six movies to get a awesome Transformers movie? The last two were okay, but were lightyears better than the first three, this one tops them all. I might even like it better than the original 1986 movie but then I think, the movie was part of a show so it's not meant to be seen as a one shot movie. Regardless, I love it. The characters are real and not just cancer inducing comic relief, since Bumblebee is our only main robot character he gets lots of personality and character moments, seeing the 80s is always a joy yo me and the soundtrack is rad man, there's just so much to enjoy and love! I love how much detail you can see in Bumblebee, even though he can't speak you can read his expression and tell how he feels. That's some pretty good effects I must say. I like the story and love all they put in, there wasn't one single moment where I wasn't enjoying myself or rolling my eyes at a horrible joke, or wondering when we get to see the Transformers in a Transformer movie! And I remind you, those are massive pros. Think about that for a second, just read it, and let it sink in. Could you imagine if this was the first Transformers movie in 2007? The world would be a different place for the better. I hear talks of a sequel in this vein of films and you know what I'm ready. Yeah it kinda sucks we won't see Unicron in Transformers 6 but who says they can't do that later in this series? Just retcon it! I know he turns into the Camaro at the end but screw it, I refuse to accept that Bee went from a loving true friendship (or moooore? Just sayin'...) to an abusive relationship if I've ever seen one and trying to form some connection with our emotionally angry, narcissistic, Napoleon complex "hero". Ffffffffffu-

I am not a fan of him. But let's talk about better things. This is my happy place, in my world there's good Transformers movies, and we'll put some little bushes and rocks over here, just like that....mmmkay, and the soundtrack is wonderful. I would be very content with a 2 hour deleted scene where Charlie and Bee lounge around in the garage and listen to music. I would give the movie a sterling near perfect score for just a movie about that. That is good characters! But the action is good to, with very few edits, well placed shots, and very easily identifiable opposing factions even when they grapple and throw each other. Color is your friend, why do you think everyone knows who Optimus and Bumblebee is, because they have color unlike the Decepticons who were all gray. In this one, we get reds, blues, purples, you can so easily discern who is who. It really does take every major problem with all the past Transformers movies and fixes it. It's amazing. I always must give credit where credit is due, and it is due here. I bought this movie with a smile on my face, even though I haven't felt that super recently. It was a good day! Solid 4 stars, 8/10, a definite buy, and here is to many more great movies. I always got your back Bee. And for God's sake let Charlie come back so they can continue their wholesome, wonderful, and lovely relationship. You can't change my mind, they're cute together!

Bumblebee

Where the hell was this in the first 3 damn movies?? I'm almost pissed off at how good this movie is!

So yeah, shock of the flippin' new millenium! Bumblebee was pretty damn good! I have so much to talk about and so little time to talk about it. Bottom line, go see it. Yeah, I know. You know my history. But go see it! The action is really good, the comedy doesn't make me want to inflict harm upon myself and others, the bond between Bumblebee and Charlie is absolutely wonderful. The look is Generation 1 all the way and it looks spectacular! The movie is soaked in 80s radical music and clothing, to the point where I might buy the soundtrack. I won't even divulge plot, cause I want this to be totally fresh and new to all eyes. If you've seen the trailer, good for you the movie is even better. I do hate one thing about it but trust me you'll know what! I am being real with you, this may squeeze into the top 10 of this year! I am questioning my own sanity but it's true! I really, really enjoyed this movie guys. Good behavior and good movies must be awarded and as the last film reviewed of the year we went out on a high note. Thanks for sticking around, you know how much it means to me. To a new year of reviews, and of course the happiest of the holidays to you. Goodnight everybody!