Lightyear

Sometimes your gut feeling is just the truth of the matter.

When I saw the trailer for Lightyear, I did not think it was gonna be good. I didn't understand the reasoning for it, I thought it did not need to be a gritty origin story or even a plain origin story for Buzz Lightyear. I saw the second trailer and was kinda getting on board, and the plot follows it but does a lot more than what is simply shown in that trailer. This is your spoiler warning. I do not spoil jack shit if the movie is good, this is your clue. And to be honest, when I was gathering the production details I saw a rating of 4.7/10 on IMDB, to which I replied oh come on it can't be that bad. It was baaad, I wouldn't rate it lower than that but also not much higher either. So our story follows a colony ship that wrecks on an alien world with no way to escape, leading our hero to put himself through an experimental test flight to find the right dilithium-uh I mean hyperspeed crystals to help get his crew back to space. Now I must admit, this beginning section of the movie was not bad. I liked the setup and the dilemma, and the fact that the whole hyperspeed experiment is not a one and done and then boom it's 60 years later. It was super good stuff seeing Buzz internalize so much blame on himself for marooning the crew here, and constantly keeps flying the experiment, each time springing 4 years into the future. It's almost Interstellar in a sense as he sees his crewmates get older and eventually die. That's a good story, that has some weight and drama to it. And even when he makes the final jump things do not go south, he meets his partner's granddaughter, is quickly brought up to speed on evil robots and what has happened which I appreciate infinitely for not doing that whole bullshit song and dance of who are you and we don't trust you, blah blah blah. The characters aren't bad, the performers do a decent job and have personality, they get some weird ass super brief character moments or "arcs" if I dare even call them that but...okay. This story needed a bit of ironing out, and the one single solitary element I was begging not to happen, happened. And it was worse than I thought it was going to be. Jesus Christ. If this is the first time either the director or writer has worked on a project it wouldn't surprise me. I had one wish, don't make Zurg a character we've met in the movie at an earlier point, just let him be an anonymous threat. I hate this so much, I am not in a good mood at all for reasons I will divulge at the end. Are you ready for some world class A-grade seal of approval bullllllllshit?? Zurg is actually Buzz. Are yo-

Goddamn it. God f***ing damn it. The fact they thought at all the audience would still be on board with this movie afterward is astounding. This writing is horrible at times, and that is the crown jewel of awful. What the, oh f*** off! When those credits started I was gone. I heard some horseshit playing behind me, you're not worth my time, don't even try to sequel bait me. But it has decent elements to it, the first quarter was really good, the animation quite lovely and makes the whole robots and space suits look pretty damn cool, I can get behind a story of a space faring galactic defender with his robot cat blasting shit, Sox was awesome, but man....they done f***ed it up! No William Shatner either, and the fact oh my God in heaven above they open the movie with essentially a disclaimer that Andy got a Buzz Lightyear toy because of this movie which was his favorite movie. I wouldn't buy anything from this movie if it was a penny. 1.5 stars, 5.5/10. Now I get to disclose information, the theater experience was awful, all I heard was kids being noisy little bastards and running to and fro around the theater. Constant. Thumping. Racket. That did not help I assure you. But wait, it gets better. I wrote about half this review and I'm walking home and it finally happened, I got hit by a car. Plot twist, I'm writing this from the afterlife mudda fudgers!! No, it hit me dead center but it wasn't super fast and I'm just sore and so angry I could put Vader to shame. F*** this evening, I'm going to bed.

What We Do In The Shadows: Season 3

Bit late to this party but still worth talking about.

It's only been over a year since we last looked at this show. Good to know some trends never die. Kinda went in a lot of directions I didn't expect but still delievered the same top quality, I'd even go so far as to say because of the unexpected turns this season delivers I enjoyed it way more than I would have. So after the massacre of the vampire council by Guillermo, our group of vampires actually ascend the political ladder and become the new replacements for the council, as Laszlo and Colin Robinson hang out more, Nandor pursues love, and Nadja gets swept up in the power of the council, leading to a pretty up in the air situation for the next season. It still has somewhat similar stories but at the same time are so very different and are built upon from previous seasons, you have your human scenarios with our vamps rolling along with it, you get your seperate cullen of vampires branching out the world of this show, we get some more spotlight on Guillermo and strangely also Colin Robinson who may actually have the biggest arc of this season. Like seriously he has always been a background character with an occasional brief episode segment, but he is right up front on the stage here and to me is funnier than ever. Even though every character I would say gets equal amounts of attention and screentime, Colin Robinson damn near owns this season. Granted Guillermo is still my favorite by far, and he gets some great material here delving more into the relationship between him and Nandor, I loved all that just to show how bizzare and interesting their dynamic is. I noticed a hell of a lot more sets this time around, it seems each season has a bigger budget than the last and while some of the CGI is a bit ropey I can forgive the cable TV show here, but each is designed expertly and the fact they use practical effects period gets brownie points from me. It's another solid season that may take a bit of time to get going but I'm just very happy to see it again. 4 stars, 8.5/10, I still hold season 2 higher but there is always next time to really knock it out of the park and I commend the crew, actors and all, for doing such fine work. This week is gonna be busy as hell, television, movies, in retrospects, new movies, you'll get a dose of everything in the days to come.

In Retrospect: The Mandalorian (Season 1)

Never fails to impress.

Even after all this time and so many new things coming to Star Wars, The Mandalorian has not lost an ounce of it's charm, appeal, intrigue, or quality. It was kind of a trip to go back and that's really saying something considering it's only had two seasons but it just goes to show the testament this show has crafted over such a small stretch, and it does still raise questions even though we do have some of the answers. Why did Werner Herzog want the babay, and who is he besides "The Client"? How did Fennec Shand survive and how is she on good terms with the best bounty hunter in the galaxy? Who's that very pretty lady who wanted some hey hey with Pedro, and how was she such an excellent shot? I do not consider these contrivances or plot holes but it makes me want to know so much more about this world that Favreau and Filoni have made together. They do such a wonderful job introducing new characters that have familiar concepts behind them, and the cast hasn't been this well picked since the original trilogy. Pedro Pascal is quickly becoming a man after my own heart, I mean we are talking near Mads Mikkelsen levels here people. I'm so happy Carl Weathers got to expand upon this and wasn't just a small bit character in this series, cause he really is grand. Oh Gina, oh my dearest, I will come to you tomorrow and really say my piece. The attention to detail in the worlds, species, and tech is glorious giving us so much more tidbits in this universe. I just, ohh, it's muy bien. Magnifico. Wunderbar, he exclaimed with great relish. I almost am quite sad I never watched it weekly like I did with the second season cause I know it would have firmly grasped my attention and kept me guessing about what would happen next. Which is odd because like 90% of the episodes are pretty much singular adventures, you could almost watch it out of order and it would still work which is something I greatly admire with shows or hell even movies for that matter when you can just dip in and out but not lose the experience. I actually heard some people give good grief over that but I suppose it's greatly common nowadays in television that shows are neatly tied together with strong continuity. I say that because I watch nothing but old shit, I can't wait to review The Andy Griffith Show when I'm 87 and nobody will know what I'm talking about. Good times! But anywho, still just as great when I first saw it I may just say screw it and bump my rating up to a 9/10 cause why not it deserves that kind of love. This is the May, I mean the way. And if somebody could let me know when that disintegrator Nerf rifle hits, you'd be a darling.

Thor: Ragnarok

Best of the Thor trilogy? Yeah.

It's easy to get swept up in the spectacle that is Thor Ragnarok, it almost gives Guardians Of The Galaxy a run for it's money in terms of color, visuals, and scale. It's been kind of a rough patch for Thor in this one, Natalie Portman gets booted offscreen permanently, Odin passes on into the Force and his ridiculously gorgeous daughter breaks Thor's mighty hammer, and Asgard is on the brink of total destruction. And the Hulk proves why he is the strongest Avenger. The Thor movies have definitely went on an upward spiral, with the first being average at best, the second one being quite good, and the third being really dang good which is nice to see. It has a great mix of being pure entertainment and actually telling a story. Hela is a very good villain, which I mainly attribute to Cate Blanchett because she is amazing in this role, I've never been more terrified and yet attracted to someone in my life. She hits that spot where Ultron should have been, a force to be reckoned with, the humor I felt actually kind of works for her when it occassionally pops up, and the threat she poses makes for an interesting story since she is Thor's sister. It's such a nice experience to see villains I actually care about and genuinely intrigue me and keep me invested. Why did it take so long? Chris Hemsworth while not at his best still delivers a very fun, very good performance and the same goes for Tom Hiddleston as well, and the chemistry still stands strong between them. We finally get Hulk back, fully talking and all, we were on the verge of greatness we were this close to a Hulk movie. Still fully proves why Hulk is the best hands down. And though I harbor zero ill will or contempt for Tessa Thompson, I hate this character. I hate this character with the passionate fury of a million red giants, you know what character I despise in movies? The smarmy, cockshore, arrogant f***stick who thinks they're hot shit when really they need to be crushed under the boot of the villain in 2 seconds flat. Enter Valkyrie. I'm not going further, because I don't want to break anything. The last thing I'm saying on that matter is if I don't see her turn into a pile of ash in two movies time, there will be severe hell to pay. Really beyond her, I very much enjoyed the movie. I liked the whole arena planet ruled by Jeff uh Goldblum, he was a lot of fun. Of course more Hulk is always a good thing, and once again Mark Ruffalo deserves his own movie, make it happen you monopolistic corporation. I simultaneously appreciate just how balls to the wall the visuals and action and tone are, yet also wish there were more character moments and time to let events sink in. Nevertheless I did like what they did with Thor in this movie. The soundtrack is very synthesizer which you think I would unashamedly love, but none of the tracks really hit me too strong. It certainly fits that comic book movie fluff category, but even then it's not bad. It tries to tightrope between fun adventure and serious story and kinda succeeds, but it works in it's own little way. 3 stars, 7/10, I doubt I would buy it but I wouldn't mind watching it on cable when the time comes. We're returning to Wakanda tomorrow, and the end is almost near.

What We Do In The Shadows: Season 2

I have made my decision on my favorite character.

Is season two better? I genuinely would have to say yes. The writing is still as great as the first season, the actors get to spread their wings more, it actually has a bit of a plot arc even if it's a tiny one, I just had even more fun with this than the last. We pick up a few months after the run in with the vampiric counsel as Nandor, Nadja, Laszlo, Colin Robinson, and Guillermo continue running into problems with ghosts in their home, an old foe of Laszlo returns, Guillermo starts becoming more independent, amongst other things, and a finale that simply can't be ignored by any character come season three. I do really think that this season is funnier and more entertaining than the last one, and you already know the rating I gave for that. I wasn't disappointed at all and got to spend more time with these characters, almost every one of them has an episode dedicated nearly entirely to just one of them. A lot more screen time is given to Guillermo and while Nadja is beyond brilliant in every way, Guillermo is my favorite character by a bit, it's just really something to see when this totally devoted and subservient character grows more of a spine and becomes his own agent. He still very much cares for his master and roommates, but quickly wants more and stands up for himself in many ways. Harvey Guillen is perfect in this series, wonderful comedic timing, great acting, is basically the only character to get an arc, they show the love for Guillermo in this season. And I for one, adore it. I'd truthfully be very proud to be Guillermo de la Cruz for Halloween. But enough of my gushing, what else is good? Well we get even more celebrity cameos, even one from Mark Hamill so it automatically is a win. The story situations are more varied thus leading to more character moments and great comedy. It does get wild in a few instances, which is what a show should do in it's second season, give the audience some crazy scenarios to show that not only that the show isn't a one trick pony but to kind of up the stakes (no pun intended of course) and show that there is a reason you keep watching and coming back. I was a fan before the end of season 1, but now consider me a die hard fan, this is my show. It took a good long while to move on from Gotham, and while Doctor Who was great I've been a fan for about a decade now so it's always just been there as a great show, and yes I have checked out other stuff but nothing has really struck my interest to such a degree. This show really has grabbed me and made me love it to the moon and back. I'm here for it, I'm ready and waiting, will we get the next season in the fall of 2020? No of course not, f*** you Brandon. You thought you could get your television programme back in the fall when the world seems to deliberately want us extinct and every film is being pushed back to a year from now? Piss in my cornflakes will you 2020, you robbing ****sucker. But I won't dwell on that. 4 stars, 9/10! 

What We Do In The Shadows: Season 1

Pleasantly surprised to be sure.

What We Do In The Shadows is a fascinating new show that I will fully admit that I had no intention to watch it. Not that I looked down on the show or deemed it stupid off the bat, it just wasn't on my radar in the slightest until it was recommended to me by my own dear momma. I sort of begrudgingly watched it, I wasn't much in a mood for a new series, and it took a handful of episodes for me to actually get into the show but once I understood the format it was going for and got a grasp on the characters, I quickly fell in love with it. It is the most hilarious show I have seen in a very good long while, centered around a group of vampire roommates living in Staten Island as they live out their night to night lives as blood drooling hilarious beasts. It is a show without any form of arc, after all it's a comedy series first so it took me awhile to slip into that form of television, but the entertainment value is very high and is just a fun show to watch. The characters are the reason you keep coming back to it, the stories that are told while good are just dumb fun, you really aren't going to see True Blood levels of plot here. But I think I appreciate it more for that, because it's absurdly great just to see these wildly different characters bounce off of the situations and other characters. We have Nandor, a once greatly renowned warlord who has grown to be a bit of a ditz in his older years. Nadja, an outspoken and quite frankly hysterical vampire married to Laszlo a downright blunt and complete horndog, further leading to more proof of how that....other vampire couple that we do not speak of is an utter trainwreck in the depths of hell. Then we have Colin Robinson, a unique type of vampire that feeds off of energy instead of life juices that is constantly being ignored by his friends. And last but certainly not least Guillermo, who is Nandor's familiar and desperately wants to become a vampire himself one day but is too busy being the only competent person in the household. It's a major toss up between Nadja and Guillermo as my favorite character, but everyone has moments to shine and they do grow on you. The show is presented in a mockumentary style with visible camera crew, interview sections, and a smidge of shaky cam which works brilliantly with the comedy aspects. As I've said this is the funniest show I've seen in probably half a decade, and I immediately wanted to dig into season 2 after I watched the finale. But all good things to those who wait. I very strongly implore people to watch this show and give it a shot, even hardcore horror fans who aren't big on comedy with classic monsters. They get their lore right in this show, with tons of nods to other vampire films than just Dracula, we get the wall climbing, the ability to turn into mist, the rising out of the coffin directly from Nosferatu, even the whole siring process from Vampire The Masquerade (yes I know it's a common fact, but I like that game). They did their homework and it's wonderful! This is a great show, it's for pure entertainment but when has that been a bad thing? I personally give it 4 stars, a solid 8.5/10, I really had zero big complaints and only very minor nitpicks. So I urge people to watch this show and while it may have been more suitable to talk about this in October, it's Halloween every day at my house and I refuse to hold off on telling people about an amazing show. See you next time for season two!

Jojo Rabbit

Well I feel like an ass for not seeing this earlier.

When I saw the trailers for this I knew one day I was going to see it, if for no other reason than just to see what Taika Waititi would do with this material. And I can safely say I'm not disappointed at all, Jojo Rabbit is a pretty dang good movie! It's not so heavy on the comedy that there isn't any emotional or quiet moments, believe me there is, but it's also not so heavy on drama that you can't get a chuckle out of it. I really have no idea how he can blend comedy and drama so well, but the juxtaposition is felt throughout. Just the basic idea of a young boy just 10 years of age who is a fanatic for nazi Germany and even has an imaginary friend of Adolf, who is very much confronted about his beliefs by a young jewish girl is interesting cinema and grabs your attention in a death grip almost from start to finish. It genuinely is very funny, the film almost deconstructs nazism during that time during the waning months of World War 2, not exactly picking the holes of the ideology but just the individuals who participate in it. I mean the writing is really good stuff, complete class but without these specific performances I don't think it would have had that strong an impact. Roman Griffin Davis is a great lead despite his age, simultaneously capturing that patriotic spirit of Germany at that time and yet you can clearly see it's not blind faith and that he doesn't agree with everything that they do. It's really something special. Taika Waititi being a very colorful, random, and bizzare imaginary Adolf Hitler has great moments that made me laugh and you can tell he's having fun just being a parody of this man and the fact he himself is of jewish descent makes it that much better. Scarlett Johansson is off her rocker in this movie, she is so odd and yet incredibly endearing and amazing, I mean you know I loved her. Sam Rockwell playing a degraded natzi who isn't near the war effort is as funny as it thinks, this guy is a bit camp, totally non-serious, and kind of is fun to watch no matter what scene he's in. But Thomasin McKenzie just nails it, I daresay she's the best written character in the movie as Elsa and the acting is amazing, you kinda think the relationship between Jojo and Elsa would be more akin to say, The Boy In The Striped Pajamas where they meet and become friends only for the tragedy of war and evil to rip them apart. Far from it actually, they don't get along, they bicker and call each other names, they really get under each other's skin and you can see she enjoys spinning tales for this kid that she can't stand, it's a very conflicted relationship as you think it would be and it takes almost the whole movie for them to put aside their differences. Which is I something I really like, it would have been easy to make them friends and not confront the stigmas of the time period but they didn't do that. I will say the movie hit me and it hit me friggin' hard man, mainly because I had no idea it was coming and when it did it was like someone threw daggers into me, I was shocked incredibly so, I suspected something bad would happen but not really sure what. And while the movie ended on a very upbeat note, I couldn't help but think what would come next for Jojo after all the war ended and the nazi's as one newspaper headliner once put it "call it quits", it reminded me a bit of Grave Of The Fireflies with the young boy just fuming that Japan surrendered despite the cataclysmic horrors that befell the country before that decision. It just really makes you think about that turbulent time for the world, and how much we've moved on since then and I can't really recall a war movie did that for me. This was a great movie, an easy 4 stars, 8/10, I highly recommend this movie and we got one more before the week is out.

The Mandalorian

It's not The Baby Yoda Show, it's The Mandadlorian because best dad ever. You know in your heart it is!

So I finally watched The Mandalorian over the winter break and I must say I was very entertained but not surprised. To take such a more ground level view of Star Wars that we sort of got in Solo and Rogue One was a wise choice and the fact that each episode marks around 30 minutes, it can focus more on characters and world building and not overblown series arcing situations and battles. This is the show Star Wars fans need, and it sets a good step forward for Disney to make future series of the same caliber. When I first heard of a show focusing on a Mandalorian bounty hunter making his way through the galaxy, I was on board for the idea. Granted we don't get an awful lot of bounty hunting but I don't see that as a bad thing, I was expecting a Cowboy Bebop/Firefly dynamic to the bounty hunting but it goes it's own path and crafts something new. So Mando (yes I know he has a name but I like Mando) is collecting on bounties when he is tasked by our good friend Carl Weathers to bring in a special individual to an Imperial client with ties to a Moff, but once he sees those big bright eyes of the entity that bears no name but a strong similarity to Force users of the past says screw you guys this is my kid now, and he spends the rest of the series making allies, facing problems, and raising a small child at the young age of 50. I have no problem saying best dad, because honestly that is his kid and I'll be damned if he doesn't raise him! I will admit for some reason I kept thinking this series to be during the original trilogy but it takes place 6 years after the battle of Endor and the defeat of The Empire, but it works and is our first gateway into the 30 year gap before The Force Awakens. I think why this show struck so much with casual and hardcore fans is because of the characters and the worldbuilding. It brings several elements of the Expanded Universe into play, thanks to our golden boy Dave Filoni, but the way they introduce and handle each character makes you get attached to them quickly. Something I noticed especially is you can tell so much from a character simply by how they carry themselves, now obviously this comes into play with Mando heavily since Pedro Pascal never takes the helmet off so he has to work with body language and it says a lot about his past and who he is now. The casting is great, I mean it's always super nice to see Carl Weathers in anything, but then you bring in Gina Carano as an ex-Shock Trooper who it took me forever to remember where I saw her but yeah she's the second best part of Deadpool (the first and last part being Colossus)  and she really has a knack for playing supreme asskickers and let's be honest she is a friggin' queen, and I hope to see more of her in the future. We also get a strange but really nice addition with director Werner Herzog in a small role which is odd because you just don't see many acclaimed directors in even a supporting roll, and another director comes into the fray with Taika Waititi taking up the role of an IG assassin droid and best nanny ever which is pretty spectacular to behold, Nick Nolte is great as Kuill and has already cemented a legacy for himself. Plus with episode 6, you get more cameos than you can shake a stick at, I mean seriously it's crazy how many actors they squeezed in that. The production values are high, the cinematography and visual style is all great with a much more old west feel to it which I can appreciate a great deal, and the fact they use practical effects more often than not gets you brownie points and even the CG is done really well. There's a lot to love and appreciate actually through the whole series, whether it be characters, settings, action sequences, bits of lore thrown in from The Clone Wars series to the friggin' Holiday Special, they knew how to craft a show and lay the foundation for a strong first season. In fact I could only really say superficial bad things about the show, like why is the flamethrower the most useless weapon in Star Wars since R2's little taser thing, why are the Death Troopers not a more imposing threat, I don't see people up in arms over the green Mogwai as much as they are Rey. Does it hurt the show? Not at all. Does it really matter? No. There's no such thing as a perfect show or film, but the positives practically outweigh the negatives by a metric ton, and I am very interested to see what's next not only in the next season but the next show. I greatly enjoy this first season, I give it a solid four stars and a 8.5/10. This is well worth watching at least twice, and since the show clocks in at a little over 5 hours in 8 episodes you can easily knock it out over a weekend. Check it out if you haven't already and don't let the memes fool you, it's worth your time. I really hope we get the Kenobi series soon, and I will raze Lucasfilm to the ground with an orbital bombardment from a Star Destroyer if we don't get that Darth Bane series. But I hear tale The Clone Wars is slated to return in a month's time and I am endlessly happy over that. So until next time my friends, this is the way.