Black Widow

Never thought I'd see the day.

Finally it came, so what did I think of it? Well truth be told, I did like it certainly. I had no even brief considerations of what the plot might entail, yet I must admit I still feel like The Winter Soldier is to this day the best example of espionage and spy stuff in this universe, but it really is a personal story for Natasha it digs into her baggage, her past, and I genuinely like it. We see her as a young girl before she even trained to be a Widow, we meet the closest thing to actual family she has, and it's just a personal vendetta against the establishment/organization that she was a part of. Scarlett slips so easily back into this role, and without question shows off the actiony but the dramatic acting in this movie. All the bits I loved about her in the other movies, again pointing towards Winter Soldier as the highlight, get expanded upon a great deal. Though I had to try to figure out certain things cause once I was done with Marvel that information bled out of my ears never to be thought of again, so the movie takes place not long after Civil War and by the end she has her short blonde hair which said Infinity War to me, so it was slightly difficult to tether all the history points together. Does it work as a standalone movie? Mostly, I'm debating on where it falls in the ranking and while my gripes are small I did have fun with it. Best character in the whole movie, David Harbour that man just keeps giving me good performances. I dare you to not love his character by the end of this, he brings that much fun and energy to it where it doesn't feel pandering and unnecessary. The same cannot be said for Natasha's sister Yelena, jus...gimme a minute. Was not a fan. Smartass to unparalleled levels, but without being funny. Villain is forgettable shite, no shocker there for this series. Effects have such a tug of war on me, some stuff looks really good still using practical effects, and then. And then. This CG is not very good, I mean God bless them for trying, but man oh man we have not perfected normal computer generated humans yet. It looked rough in spots, and I don't think I can entirely blame the year of the antichrist 2020 for it. Am I confusing movies or was this slated for late 2019 and they pushed it (jokes on them) back? Not too sure. It's decent, I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10, it's never truly a bad movie if Scarlett is in it. And that theater was packed, and right before the after credits scene played I walked out. Because I'm an asshole, and on that bombshell it is time to end. Thank you so much for joining me, goodnight.

Iron Man 2

Well we started off strong at least.

Yeah Iron Man 2 is a definite dud for me. When the most enjoyment I got out of the film was just rocking out to AC/DC at the end credits, that's not a good sign. I'm sorry but Iron Man 2 had nothing going for me, it tries something that we have seen before but brings nothing new to it. Okay so we fast forward 6 months after Iron Man, Tony has been revelling in the glory of his superhero identity but is actually dying from the arc reactor he invented which at first makes another compelling story point, he's slowly being poisoned by the thing that saved his life. Tragic irony, or poetic justice? Now I understand you needed some drama because the villains are so underwhelming and meaningless, but they just sort of pull a solution out of their ass in a very bewildering way and he's all better. But anyway, Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke team up to take out Tony Stark and create their own cheap knockoff mech suits, and my sweet sainted grandmother are they weak. Sam Rockwell, God bless that man, is a f***ing annoying twat in this movie, let me tell you about dis guy he never shuts the f*** up and contributes zero to the plot, and I've seen Sam Rockwell take smaller parts and bring something great to them as we've seen in Jojo Rabbit so I do not blame him for even a microsecond for this character. Mickey Rourke plays a russian physicist who for some reason goes after Tony and tries to destroy his legacy(?) for reasons unknown, seriously his dad kicks the bucket and then he starts making this lightwhip electro thingy, and gets his ass kicked twice in under 3 minutes. What the hell was the plan for this movie screenwriters? Nothing happens in this movie! Tony and Pepper's relationship kinda grows, Rhodey gets recast because well stuff happens and to be honest I like this guy better than the one before and he gets a pretty nifty mech suit, we introduce Black Widow so at the very least we get some Scarlett Johansson who you can tell did a good chunk of her combat and I'm always game to see more of her. And....that's about it. I will at least thank the filmmakers for giving us real suits, and guess what? They actually look pretty great! So no more need to unnecessarily CG them cause you can do it right there in camera, and again the action scenes are brief and still use plenty of practical stunts so good job there. But the story is meaningless, and the character progression is so shallow it's meaningless. They even pull the fight my best friend in a serious dramatic fight, because they had nothing going for this, War Machine and Iron Man duke it out for really no reason other than, "Tony's being an asshole and I gotta get him under control.". It's astounding how little there is in this movie, it's not even a fun popcorn movie cause you don't get a lot of action, and I'm not complaining about that trust me but what was the goal here? Could you imagine if they just gave us a Black Widow movie in place of this one, just a solo Natasha Romanoff movie that firmly sets where she works in SHIELD, what she does, and how she got there? I wouldn't be complaining much! This is a definite skip for sure, 2 stars, 4.5/10. I swear on all that is good and wholesome in this world, Thor better pick it up cause if this is the start of a downward spiral, it is not gonna be pretty.