What If...?

Thank God this was better.

After the tepid at best reception of WandaVision I was hoping for better and I got a pretty solid and dang good show. I mean it's such a simple premise that's been in comics for about 30+ years, tell an elseworlds story with familiar heroes in different situations and realities, and now go one step further to make an anthology animated series involving the MCU. It's super short too, only 9 episodes though it has a semi-standard runtime akin to most animated shows I was surprised how much it could do and even how easy it was to jump into. Granted you do kinda need to know your MCU movies in certain episodes, they don't hold your hand for anything, you either know or don't. I can't begrudge it too much on that factor cause you do have to be a fan of the Marvel stuff to even have any intention of watching it so it gets a pass on accesibility. The animation style is that odd Tron Uprising, Into The Spiderverse style of 2D but actually 3D animation, and while it did take a brief moment for me to get adjusted to it I found it to be very well done and captures the color and spectacle of those movies. Easily my favorite episodes were Agent Carter getting the supersoldier serum, T'Challa being a guardian, Doctor Strange turning evil is the crown jewel for me personally, and the final two episodes which cap it off nicely should this be the one and only season we get. But truth be told, I am 100% down to see more. I know, the guy who gave the majority of the MCU one gigantic ehhhh, actually has some interest and passion for What If. Will wonders never cease. I do actually appreciate how not every story ends happily, obviously with such a multitude of multiverses not all ends in a good way and there is some screwed up stuff that happens. Though that does make me wonder what the demographic is for this, I'd probably put it in the teens to adults category alone due to the zombies episode. I'll never fully grasp society's fascination with the zombie genre, let undead sleeping dogs lie for God's sake, it needs to end quick. Besides that small gripe with the entertainment industry, it's a very good series that while an experiment that has been tinkered with before still tells good stories with good production quality. I give it 3.5 stars, 8/10! Finally, a Marvel movie I have been waiting to see coming up next.

Avengers: Infinity War (Part 2)

Part twoooo, the reckoning.

But how does anybody outside of like Gamora and possibly Thor know what the Gauntlet is and what it does? Cause Bruce explains the whole importance of it and I'm just wondering how he knew. Actually tell you the truth, the Infinity Gauntlet doesn't make a lick of sense either. "The universe is finite, it's resources finite.", dude I saw you create a swarm of bats from an energy blast, you can do anything. Quadruple the resources! "Reality can be whatever I want.", okay so why do you need all 6 stones? And why does everything the Gauntlet do reverse when Thanos uses the Space Stone? Like when he turns Drax and Mantis into disproportionate shapes, after he leaves it all goes back to normal. Why? I doubt Thanos is the kinda guy who shows mercy on his enemies, so I guess you have to be right in front of the Infinity Gauntlet for it to have an effect, so the range sucks harder than an AT&T tower. We already know Thanos goes from planet to planet and wipes out half the population so what does the snap do? Reduce the half to a quarter? That's not very f***ing balanced at all now is it. Now if the Gauntlet was just this super mega ultra doomsday weapon then I could get behind it, but it's not. And for a movie called Infinity War, there wasn't much action beyond the Wakanda fight. I know it would have been impossible to surpass Return Of The King standards of action and war scenes, but give us something to go wow at. Infinity Battle would have been more appropriate, or hell just call it Avengers: The Infinity Gauntlet, then you name the next one Infinity War because I'm assuming the conflict in Endgame will dwarf this by a mile long. The more I think about this movie, the more I think less of it. The characters are fine, but that's because we've had all these movies beforehand to flesh them out and they remain constants, with little dynamic change to their personalities and overall characteristics which defies the purpose of putting them through these trials and tribulations. The action is serviceable but not worthy of the title of the movie as stated above. The story's pacing and tone needed considerable tweaking, the pacing was adequate but had too many strands to connect leading to a somewhat bloated story necessitating a longer runtime to better the progression and character moments, and the tone kind of just needed to go more serious and maybe a little deep to really hit home the final scene. And why was there an end credits scene? Did you really need that? Imagine if they did it this way: the snap, play out the scene as normal, content smile, darkness, and dead silence through almost the whole credits to let that sink in and have this disquieting silence fall over the audience, and no end credits scene. It would get people talking like mad as to what would happen next. But no. Gotta sell that next product, always have to advertise that next movie, couldn't just open Captain Marvel with that scene or just do Captain Marvel. Ugh, f*** me. The only saving grace was the villain, and while it is fun to quote Thanos, the words have purpose, and meaning, and most of all emotion to them that made them so memorable. Actually a quote that stuck with me for reasons unknown even to myself was when Thanos is about to reverse time to claim the soul stone, "Now is no time at all." it struck me as this metaphysical line where he could stop time with a motion of his hand and it could be kind of like that scene in Doctor Strange when the Ancient One and Strange are seeing time being dragged out making one moment last a lifetime, that this instant before having all the Infinity Stones is another time so distant it might as well be millenia ago. It's an odd one to be sure, but something about it kind of stuck with me. 2.5 stars, 6/10. Reality is often disappointing.

Avengers: Infinity War (Part 1)

I still don't get the fandom.

Infinity War was not bad by any stretch, there were several elements I greatly enjoyed, there was some stuff that made me quite aggrivated, but all in all it came down to being a good movie. Not a great movie or a perfect movie, nor a bad movie or cinematic trash. It's okay. And for those few who are still reading this, let's get going. I liked the story, it's a bit flawed and I would have done this differently, not much but just tweaks that would give the film more weight. So Thanos has finally entered the chat and is hunting down the Infinity Stones. Pause. I am not actually a fan of him literally grabbing these impossibly rare and extrememly powerful gems one right after the other in the span of a single day, I actually would have liked it if we slowly saw him get a stone every so few movies, to build that anticipation and intrigue as to what the final goal is and what the gauntlet does. Since there's 6 stones, I would have preferred if he got the last two in this movie, therefore creating more drama that, oh shit he's nearly got them all we gotta act fast or we're completely screwed. Resume. That's basically the plot, we're going gem hunting while the scattered forces of the Marvel heroes are desperately trying to form a defensive plan to take this guy out. That's fine, I think the movie severely lacks dramtic tension at times and if I'm being ruthlessly honest....kinda shoots itself in the foot. A lot. Case in point, Thanos snaps Loki's neck. Unfortunately I felt no resounding effect because I've seen the crafty bastard elude death more times than I can remember so why should this time be any more final? Steve and the renegade members of the Avengers get back into the story, but they kinda just pop out of nowhere to save Vision and Scarlett Witch when they never explain how they found them to begin with. They didn't track them, they couldn't track them, they pop up in a totally random place, I know it's just for that Cap reveal but sloppy writing is sloppy shitty writing. Which is odd because most of the weaving of all these different characters into a singular movie is quite honestly handled well, even if the pacing gets sidestepped because there's too damn many, but it's there to set up future stuff in the plot so whatever. Thanos has an entourage which immediately threw me right the f*** off because if there was ever a villain that did not need a sidekick, let alone 4 of them it would be Thanos. He even has this brown nosing little ponce who is also his hype man, I mean what in the actual shit is this? So much for that "I'll do it myself" if you send your Team Rocket lackeys to do the work for you, my God they were beyond pointless. Oh and Red Skull is here too and he has powers...now? How?? Why??? I don't know. But he's there. I was slightly shocked at the runtime, I assumed this was going to be the 3 hour finale but it came up 30 minutes short which I felt to be odd because this is the kind of movie that needs that amount of length, you could really set up this heavily foreboding atmosphere as each hero tries in their own way to prepare for the oncoming battle, to get more backstory to Thanos, to really sink in the seriousness of it all. But it just feels like the same old Marvel movies, there's nothing more to this movie than the others beside the ending. Now on one hand, I commend that. It lulls the audience into a false sense of security where the heroes will come out on top but then drops the anvil right on their heads in a very unexpected manner. Which is kinda what they did, but it doesn't have that serious, dramatic, finality punch to it that it so desperately needs. This should have been almost devoid of humor like if a person tried to make a joke it would either fall flat or be given the cold shoulder by other members of the group, with a lot more quiet intimate moments with our heroes where they face the possibility of dying and have to come to terms with it, and the tension and fear when Thanos is on screen should have been priority number one because we don't know anything about him. Sure comic fans know this guy backwards and forwards, and even knows the original reason why Thanos wanted the Infinity Gauntlet (spoiler alert he was a thirsty f***boi), but most audience members have no clue who he is. We've seen the briefest of appearances but essentially know precisely dick, and while the film does a very good job cementing his character, we kinda needed more or maybe I just wanted more. The film constantly kinda keeps breaking itself almost on a subconscious level, like with Doctor Strange. He has the time stone, he can manipulate time to an insane degree, and this is kinda where the movie falls apart, because even when Thanos has four out of six Infinity Stones, Strange could still reverse time maybe to oh I don't know, save Tony from getting stabbed, or to rewind time to stop Star Lord from literally f***ing over the entire universe (we'll get to him I promise), or to just pull the Dormammu trick again. Christ he even says the Time Stone is the best chance they have against Thanos! And he hands the thing over after Tony gets stabbed and begs to spare his life. Um....Doc, he doesn't have a hostage. He shanked Stark, he's dying, there is no bargain chip, hit the rewind button, do some trippy cosmic magic tricks, save him. Do you see the issue with the Time Stone? The heroes are kind of dumbasses in this movie, Strange was bad but Quill....this stupid motherf***ing shitlord. Okay, so the group has got Thanos, they are doing everything in their power to restrain him and get the gauntlet, and they are actually even surprisingly succeeding. Hurrah! Until Star Lord hears about Gamora and instead of waiting 10 seconds for them to get the gauntlet off and then pump him so full of goddamn holes it would give people trypophobia, he starts wailing on the guy which shock of all shocks, rapes the plan with a splintered broomstick and leads to devastating losses for the entire universe. Good job. Yes I'm blaming him. You know that whole 1 in 14,000,605 odds against them winning? Well if Peter pissed off for a minute, that 1 would have been the win. I'm just really not liking the Guardians at this point, Quill is a stupid asshole, Gamora is mostly bland and I could care less for her character even with her daddy issues, Rocket's schtick is dead to me, Groot is just there, pretty much Drax and Mantis are the only ones I really like. Even poor Josh Brolin who is doing damn amazing work in this role can't fully salvage the movie, which is a shame because he is singlehandedly the best part of the entire movie. You see the machinations in his mind, you see and feel that this terrible thing he is trying to do feels justified and even logical in his eyes, his performance is the best performance in Marvel not just on an acting standpoint but a character standpoint. People have made videos on this guy for years now and for good reason, he's a fascinating character study to undertake. Josh Brolin is great, harboring on perfect. I personally actually like how he defeats the Hulk, you'd think I would hate it because my boy just got his ass handed to him, but it shows Thanos cannot be subdued by a brawl and that he knows how to fight, meaning you have to find another way to beat him. But I just feel he's too good for this movie. Again, Infinity War is not a bad movie but it has flaws that hurt the film quite a bit. My main problem was the tone, I think my false sense of security for the audience idea was the intended effect that the director's were going for but it just doesn't feel that high stakes and it should! We are talking about the fate of countless worlds and people, a truly horrible person wielding unlimited powah, and it's the same old shit. If you're not going to treat this subject material seriously and make it as good as possible with hard, dark, possibly even deep moments then just stop. You don't get to skate around this on your same old tropes, do something with it! Make it like an epic tragedy, a proper war film where people die, where it's a constant struggle for these gemstones, treat it as if you are making one of the greatest and most powerful films ever made where Ingmar Bergmann or Akira Kurosawa would applaud it. But screw that, we gotta make it for the kids you little bastards, go buy our shit! Why make it an actual good film that will be talked about for decades for pushing the envelope of comic book movies? I assume you wanted to tell this story from almost the beginning, why else would you make 18 damn movies beforehand? So you feel the impact, so you give a shit, so you are invested in the story. Well congratulations you did that, now where's the movie worthy of that payoff? It's just another standard Marvel movie with a very strong ending. And let's talk about the snap heard 'round the world. It's impact didn't fully do it for me because well, I've waited two years to watch this movie. When the scene has practically become an iconic meme it loses that gravitas, I knew it was going to happen, when it was going to happen, who got dusted, and how the film ended. Do I still appreciate it? Very. The lack of music, the almost washed out colors, the unceremonious deaths of characters we've watched for years, it's an experly crafted scene....but that atmosphere and tone should have permeated the entire film. Oh my God, I have to split the review cause I'm still not done. So um, get ready for more of this!

Second Viewing: Black Panther

Yeah yeah, I still haven't found a better name but it's all I could think of.

It was great going back to this, and yet another good example of a standalone movie. I literally had no idea we were going to see Andy Serkis and Black Panther in Age Of Ultron, because this movie did such a good job being a self contained movie. I never once had a question of who these people were, where are we, or when are we, which is good storytelling. I was just like, oh snap Black Panther's father was killed in an embassay bombing, oh he knows Martin Freeman because of his reputation in the CIA, oh Andy Serkis is a weapons dealer with stolen tech from Wakanda. It's another great beginner's movie for this series, and I do genuinely love the story. T'Challa is kind of a modern King Arthur, very strong moral compass, might for right, has difficulty accepting his role as a king, violence is not strength and compassion is not weakness, all that good jazz. So Black Panther is waaay up there as one of my favorite Marvel characters, and Chadwick Boseman is really damn good. In fact, all the cast is good! Michael B. Jordan though great as a hero can play a villain with conviction and presence, fuelled by rage and contempt for centuries of horrible actions that harmed his ancestors and the dilemma given that if he goes through with his plan he is no better than the people who subjugated his ancestors is a strong one. It's a great dynamic between hero and villain, not just on physical prowess but their own sense of morality and mindsets. Lupita Nyong'o is great, Danai Guira is a lot of fun, Angela Bassett is astonishing as always, and Martin Freeman proves himself as an ally even though he was kind of a dick before. So cast is still very strong in my eyes, the visuals are amazing, the tech I honestly don't have a problem with at all because this is a culture that has been refining their technology for thousands if not tens of thousands of years so I can buy how their city and machinery works, the spiritual aspect I appreciate with the ancestral plane, and the action is pretty good but it's kinda more of a drama because the action is spread out. But I'm okay with that because I really do like the characters, I'd probably go so far as to say this is the best ensemble cast of the entire Marvel series, now I know the Avengers are good but even I have slight issue with them. But with Wakanda? I like all the main characters, I like their personality, I like their design, I like their roles in the movie, it all just works incredibly well for me. Truth be told the issues I would have for this movie are nitpicks at best, I think we got another great Marvel movie....even though it took almost the whole damn series to get to this point, with a lot of bumps in the road, and I'm still wondering why people fell so hard for this series, but we got here. Doctor Strange and Black Panther are not only the two Marvel movies I've seen in theaters, but also the only two I own on video. They are the ones I would like to watch every so often, even with the praise I gave for The Winter Soldier and Civil War I don't honestly think I would buy them. I'm happy I saw them, but I'm in no rush to watch them again. Hell the only one I might buy after all this so far, is The Incredible Hulk. But tomorrow we talk about Infinity War, the birthday present I didn't ask for and never did see, until now. No seriously, it came out on my birthday so I slightly take pride in the day of my birth also being the day where millions of Marvel fans were crushed and broken emotionally and left the cinemas severely depressed. I'm a heartless bastard I know, but sometimes it feels so good being evil. 4 stars, 8/10!

And I say to you now what I said to you in 2018 when this movie was released, he is the best king I have seen in cinema and I would have followed him to the end and beyond. Long live the King.

In Retrospect: Black Panther

I hope you all enjoyed Infinity War. I didn't see it obviously, but the news of the passing of my two favorite Marvel movie heroes is distressing.

Despite that, I still do enjoy Black Panther immensely. If memory served I said I liked it better than Doctor Strange, and....I don't know. I'm still torn on favorites, I love Doctor Strange and I love Black Panther so I believe there is no superior film. And now that time has passed and multiple viewings have been taken into account, I am still glad I went to see this movie and bought this movie. But why did this movie grab me when really, no other Marvel movie did? Was it because it took on a more serious story with a low emphasis on comedy? Absolutely. Because of the characters and the unique world it created? Certainly, the characters are all great and the world is absolutely stunning to behold. But the truth is, and this is as snobbish as I am ever going to get, nobody unless you were a hardcore Marvel comic fan wanted or knew about Black Panther. So it had that mystery, that allure of something no one knew about. It was like Guardians Of The Galaxy, no one unless you read the comics knew who Rocket Raccoon or Groot was and yet they still took the time to make a movie about them. I mean really when you get right down to it, nobody really knew the extent of Marvel characters. If you asked me in say, 2005 who did Marvel had I would tell you Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man, The Fantastic Four, and Thor. That's it. And I'm sure it was like that for countless other people. So when I heard of this Black Panther guy, despite me not seeing Civil War, I wanted to know more about him and was intrigued when his own movie was getting made. Pretty much same for Doctor Strange, except they had Ben and Mads to make me obligated to see it. But Black Panther had nothing beyond intrigue so the movie paid off for me in aces. I love the characters, and while Chadwick Boseman is a fantastic actor and held this movie to something beyond your regular popcorn flick, Danai Gurira steals the show for me! I love her character, she's a badass but has deeper motivation and identity beyond that, my eyes were glued to her everytime she was on screen. And yet another good thing it did, it gave ample screen time to characters that are more off to the side. If this was another studio all the time and screen presence would be dominated by Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, and maybe Martin Freeman, with very brief scenes of Letitia Wright or of Lupita Nyong'o but they expanded upon them which helped the film greatly. Yeah it does suck that Andy didn't get much screen time but hey it looked like he had fun doing it! But what really sold me on this being a good if not great film were the visuals. There is such deep rich color in costumes, set design, and effects. When a movie makes you stick around at the credits to appreciate the visuals, they did something right. And just a sidenote, I am so happy I did not sit until the after credits scene cause I just watched it and my reaction was pretty much this, "Who the f*** are you? Who's White Wolf? Is that the, what's his name, the Winter Soldier? I'm so confused...." and that's it. That would have kind of pissed me off royaly in the theater. At least in Doctor Strange I could be like, "Oh hi Thor. This sounds interesting, I wonder what the next movie will be.", there's none of that here. It was so bad they had to put, Black Panther will return in Infinity War. Must have been a slow writing day over at Marvel. Oh well, we know how it ends. Have fun crying kids over characters you have probably grown up all your life watching! Say hi to Thanos for me! But yeah, Black Panther is a good movie.

It's a slow week here, I only got one more movie for the week. But for the sake of interest, tomorrow we will be looking at Batman Ninja.

Black Panther

Good way to end the week wouldn't you say?

Black Panther is a very good movie, it's not my new favorite Marvel movie for that honor is still held by Doctor Strange but it is in my top 3 which is hilarious because all the Marvel movies I've seen could probably be counted on two hands. But regardless I enjoyed the movie quite a lot. It did do everything I wanted it to, telling a story about a man who is both a king, a hero, and a warrior. Chadwick Boseman is excellent and could really carry the film on just him alone but the supporting cast is just as good, with Lupita Nyong'o and Martin Freeman being two of my favorites. The story is very admirable, telling the story of how the Black Panther, T'Challa was crowned king of Wakanda and must protect his people from outside and even inside forces. In fact there was much to be admired, I loved the style and culture that was heavily present in Wakanda and felt fully accesible, there was nothing that I could not find intrigue and enjoyment in. The action is very well done and never once did the thought occur that is was choreographed, they did it that well! Tremendous love must go to the art direction and choice of colors, this is a gorgeous film at times, filled with so much to see and appreciate. Now I have no problems saying I am a dumb white boy, I am uncultured but always try to learn and see new things, and I was greatly impressed by just the look and feel of such a technological society that never has shuned away from it's history. T'Challa and his kingdom is noble and of resounding character, he's just trying to be the best king he can and I'll be damned if I said I would not follow him into battle. In fact...he's the best king I have seen on film. Sorry Aragorn, but you need to do more than swing a sword and make speeches to be king. Actually now that I think about it there were a lot of Lord Of The Rings moments, beyond seeing Andy Serkis and Martin Freeman in a room together. It's a really great film and most importantly it made me want to read the source material, to read the comics, and I mean like from first appearance to now. Same thing for Doctor Strange, it made me interested to read and learn about these characters so obviously Marvel is doing a great job with these two lesser known but still important characters that have been around for decades. And hell, they got one more movie I want to see this year and I am very excited to see one of my favorite Marvel villains get his own movie. But that will come in time. For now though, I will look forward to seeing you next week.