Afro Samurai Ressurection

Hmm. Not what I thought it was gonna be.

For those who have seen the ending of Afro Samurai you'll know it actually left the door open for some continuation, so as we pick up on this feature film made 2 years after the mini-series I kinda figured it would follow in those steps. Not really. It ain't a bad thing but this movie does kinda fiddle fuck with the history of events and "canon" of the series, not in an insultingly stupid way it just adds more stuff that wasn't seen before and has a purpose for the movie. So the events follow Afro who after claiming the Number 1 headband is being hunted down by familiar faces from his past who desecrate his father's grave on top of that, and more so than the show in my opinion this really hammers the point home of revenge. It damn near walks hand in hand with Kill Bill, I just kept flashing back to that, if you seek revenge on others someone is eventually going to seek revenge on you. Hurt people hurt people. It is nothing but a vicious cycle with no end, and you already know how I feel about that. Revenge...the most worthless of causes. And that story is told super well here, spanning only 100 minutes the movie starts off very slap dash and a little confusing as to what the plot is shaping up to be, but it quickly focuses and gets going passing by in the blink of an eye and you get some visuals out of it. Obviously the animation style persists, but with a movie budget so you get a lot broader more involved fights with some damn good background scenery. It maybe took 3 shots until I saw something where I was like, "God. Damn!! That looks good!". You ever wonder why I champion animation so hard here? Because you get some atmospheric/environmental shots the likes of which even God has never seen! And I gotta admit seeing a lot more locales and pieces of this world were greatly interesting to me, making me wish it went on longer than it did because it's just cool! Is it necessary viewing? Not in my estimation but if you digged the hell out of the show you'll like the movie just fine. The plot moves at a good pace and has some solid moments, the animation still looks interesting, the music once again done by The RZA I truly need to listen to in full for both these installments, and I gotta admit the voice cast was in some cases better than the show. It's unequivocally different and doing it's own thing and for all I know we could get another addition to this series in the not too distant future, which I'm not completely against. So I give it 3 stars, 7/10, and it is time for a recent show to be discussed. Rare occurence on this site but I'm looking forward to it so see you tomorrow.

Afro Samurai

Ah shit, here we go again. 

I've heard of the reputation of this show for quite awhile honestly waaaay back in my early teens, not fully knowing the plot just knowing a lot of people held it up as a kickass show and was a unique standout in the early millenium anime scene. The plot is simple enough told over the course of five roughly 30 minute episodes, of a young boy who after seeing his father's grisly demise commits to a life of revenge against a gunslinger assassin as he takes up his father's sword and becomes the Afro Samurai. There's bits and pieces beyond it including a healthy peppering of flashbacks, and a surprising but underplayed twist of the setting. Cause when we kick off it's very feudal Japan, in terms of weaponry, architecture, and geography but then by either the first or second episode you see someone spying on Afro with I shit you not electrobinoculars straight out of Star Wars, right out of the battle of Hoth and it only gets crazier from there. Now I know the setting isn't pivotal, this isn't a Trigun situation where the more you watch the more you come to realize why the world is the way it is, this show rather centers itself around the Rule Of Cool. You wanna see Afro battle against robot shinobi? You got it. Want to see a villain use basically a handheld ballista with grenade launcher attachment? No problem. But it never forgets it's roots in samurai cinema, and while the animation is....I'm trying to find the right word for it still. It's heavily stylized, jagged yet flowing lines, the color palette is not quite black & white but leans towards greyscale, the blood is a character in and of itself with how over the top it is reaching geiser levels, and at first I thought this was a western made almost tribute to anime but it does indeed hail from the land of the rising sun itself originally created by Takashi Okazaki. It's unlike anything I've seen before but has sheer moments of pure beauty in it. I did watch the dubbed version and it was so not what I was expecting because I did know Samuel L. Jackson was the main part but Afro is seriously the strong silent type and only really starts talking closer to the end and I barely recognized his voice it was so different, but what I didn't know was Sam voiced two roles. He also voices Afro's travelling companion Ninja Ninja (yes I'm serious) who is way more what you would expect from Sam's acting. Chatterbox, throwing lingo and slang to and fro, really is only two steps away from saying the N-word, he's a funny dude and is that levity we need in a very serious story. Ron Perlman is our main villain here, once again the vocal performance is not what you expect it's not as deep voiced, it's way more for lack of a better term reptilian. Fantastic character design by the way, you barely see him in the show but you can feel the threat and the creep factor get pushed near maximum. It's a conglomeration of top voice acting talent presented here, just go look at the cast list it's crazy how many big names in the voice actor community they got. And to think this show hit the States in 2007, my God you want to talk about another time another place? The world was different, anime was different, I was but a 12 year old nerd. Can we just get back to that for a while? Can we rewind the tape please? Fuck. Before I start just getting really depressed, let's wrap this up. It is a real damn good series, feature length just 2½ hours it's worth your time if you dig this kinda shit, I'm so happy I got to see it after 17 years (Oh dear God, make it stop, make it end.), so final scores! I give it 4 stars, 8/10, and the story ain't over yet so tune in tomorrow for the actual feature continuation.

Argylle

Okay you got me. More different than you would expect.

I'll give credit where it's due, Matthew Vaughn knows the movies he is good at making and keeps doing them, even if he adds a lemon twist to some. Argylle couldn't be more of a twist if it tried. I'm not sure if the movie is a legit adaptation of a book or series of books but boy would I be interested to pick up one of those. Following the massive shift in lifestyle choice from quiet and simple book writer to full blown espionage agent, Elly Conway meets up with an unexpected ally named Aidan intent on keeping her safe as it appears that life is truly stranger than fiction when the pages of her recent novel are occuring in reality. I'll admit the trailer does a mighty good job making you want to see the film, because you're just wondering what in the flying pink pachyderms is going on here?? Pretty much the line, "You're a goddamn fortune teller Elly. Everything you wrote down has happened." and you wanna know why! You get your answers for sure, this ain't no bait and switch or come to your own conclusions, but maaaaan I really cannot talk about shit here. I am wandering amidst a minefield of spoilers! There are more twists than a contortionist at the circus, and granted I didn't call them from a mile away but I did call some a smidge before they happened. And while the film has flourishes of comedy, the actors commit full force and do mighty good work. Bryce Dallas Howard is truly the star of the picture, and my God does the woman act realistic in these batshit situations showcasing a lot of emotion and quick breathless line reads, she fully nails this performance to the max! Of course seeing Sam Rockwell is a treat and to know he is a legit spy but nowhere near as dashing I rather appreciate, him and Bryce have good chemistry and they are a duet through the vast majority of the film. Plus any excuse to see him bust a move is Kino. I actually expected Bryan Cranston to be the head of this government secret service but to see him as the villain was cool and while he doesn't quite get the material of espionage elite villains like Auric Goldfinger or Ernst Stavro Blofeld he works just fine. I kinda knew Henry Cavill was really just gonna be seen here and there and far from the focus but the way they incorporate his scenes in the world of the book was done rather uniquely. And I need to shoutout my gurl, the one and only, the lovely lady woman I have missed for literal years Sofia Boutella, it's been too damn long in my opinion and she's exactly how I remember her. I seriously need this damn movie to hit video quick because I need to break this down! The only thing that I could give away and that's if a very very select few individuals catch my drift here, if you are familiar with Star Wars games from the early to mid 2000s...they go there. Go see it. It's a weird movie that kinda flips the spy genre on it's head, but you have to make your own conclusion on it. The only real negative I could say and this is probably just me but this movie gets fuggin' silly. I mean ludicrous to the point of stupidity. I never thought in a trillion years I would use the words sappy or downright saccharine to explain a ffffffudge packing firefight, in fact it's probably the biggest action setpiece of the films and you know, as a lover of the lavishly ludicrous....it went too far. Dare I say jumping the shark. But you know what? It commited to that vision, it didn't hold back or apologize, and it certainly didn't give a rat's ass what I thought about it either. And the movie has that more tongue in cheek Roger Moore style of James Bond movies with the crazy gadgets, lighter tone, and essentially is a sweet distraction for an hour or two. So hey man, just because that one detail threw me off my game doesn't mean somebody else can't love it. It isn't a bad film, it's got a solid foundation with a lot of good elements on top of it even if it has it's more hokey moments. I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10! New month already and we got a few more new releases before shifting gears back closer to normal.

The Marvels

It really isn't as bad as people made it out to be.

True it is more on the average tier of the MCU a.k.a. the vast majority of the MCU, but terrible or bad are far from the terms I would use to describe this movie. Again, totally haven't kept up with recent Marvel events so if you're looking for an in depth, wide spanning, informed Marvel review this ain't it. So we essentially pick up where Ms. Marvel ended with Carol, Kamala, and Monica meeting up and teaming up to combat...I'm really not sure if I'm supposed to know this villain or not, I'm a grandad you gotta bear with me here and help an old man out, Dar-Benn which is a quite suitable alien name. In fact the movie focuses on the alien sci-fi aspect of it all which I quite liked, just to see weird shit I'm pretty much there for it. Now that kinda dips it's toes into the problem pool doing so and I might as well get the few negatives out real quick. The movie kinda goes on tangents, not many granted but certain scenes play out for a hot minute and you're like, "Uh guys, there literally is a global crisis going on. Could we maybe get back to that a bit?". No horseshit Jack, our group arrives on a sea planet where everybody communicates in song and it gets super Broadway musical very fast, don't get me wrong I loved it and appreciated how quirky the sci-fi is presented here but it really was this off beat moment waiting for the plot and action to catch up with our heroes. That's kinda the other thing, the movie feels a bit off. I don't think I can quantify it much but certain things landed, certain things crashed, and others just kinda floated in space. Maybe it was because the movie has a fairly quick pace, it barely sits still and things get resolved somewhat easily somewhat quickly, and if this isn't the shortest Marvel movie it has to be the runner up. I swear the runtime says one hour and forty five minutes, it feels barely over 90 minutes when credits start to roll. Now I will say it doesn't move too fast, and you think this dynamic that each of our protagonists share similar powers and can essentially swap places in space would make it a bit confusing and hard to follow when the action kicks in, but thankfully not! The action is always dynamic and interesting, it's shot and edited well enough to where it never reaches that point where you don't even know what the fuck is happening, so kudos on that sincerely! The acting is good, though the heart and soul is and forever shall be Iman Vellani, but man it was bugging me because I knew I saw Zawe Ashton someplace before and ohh Doctor Who actor as a Marvel baddie strikes again! I'll admit there was some really cool and beautiful shots peppered throughout the film, the effects and direction were handled nicely for sure. I don't know where to fit this in the review but my favorite scene was honest to God the most hilariously disturbing and weirdest sequence I've ever seen in a movie that wasn't a horror picture, like you'll know it exactly when you see it. It was a stroke of genius but like if it was the most underplayed stroke of genius I've ever seen. So there were indeed positive elements, but it is kind of a mixed bag that I can easily see people trash or like a good deal. And the only way you'll know is if you see it! For me personally it's a decent film that I recommend you see at least once. 2.5 stars, 6.5/10! I got something important for you next week that I probably should have reviewed earlier but Halloween time is the busiest time so stay tuned for that!

The Protege

F**********k, that was good!

Granted I didn't really know too much or really knew what to expect, but Christ that was a good movie. It's not the action movie the trailer leads you to believe, it's here to tell a story, it knows what it wants to be, and it pulls it off in spades. Now the trailer did get me to see the movie, 100% due to it's star power but you get a proper good movie here. Okay so the plot follows two assassins played by Maggie Q and Samuel L. Jackson as they take on another case and hunt some bad guys, typical action movie plot. Then you have the wild card that is Michael Keaton. Now I'm not saying this movie is amazing because of Michael Keaton, I am a huge fan of his but at the same time...his character and the personality he gives to it is what makes the movie so much better than it already is. This dynamic between him and Maggie Q got me super invested and I was already really rolling with the plot and was digging the hell out of it, because they are two pieces on opposite ends of the board here but you see it and hear it in his eyes he does not want our main character dead, far from it even. That added so much for me, I just loved this movie! It's a very character driven story, and you get a few shooty shoots and they're done quite nicely, but it is at the heart of the matter the relationships between Maggie, Sam, and Michael that not only is the majority of the film but pushes it above my expectations. Now I can fully 100% understand why some people would walk out of this movie feeling a bit bait and switched, it's geared up to look like a out for blood revenge story with wall to wall action, but that's far from the truth. I get it. It's fine. Yet everything about this movie clicked with me. I love the actors, I mean anytime Maggie Q is in a new movie is a welcome celebration for me cause she's been kicking ass for years and I truly adore her, maybe even crushed a fair bit on her character. I don't know, a girl with reddish hair, owns a bookshop, and has a love for cats, assassin or not I can see myself settling down with for the rest of my life. Sam is a lot of fun, and has some dang nice chemistry with Maggie and as you learn more about their relationship it only gets stronger. And Michael, holy mother of mercy this is what I signed up for. So funny, can still kick ass, gives just enough of that off-ness to really knock these lines out of the park, and dude that final scene f***ed me up a bit. It really reminded me of Heat, and at the same time gave me final standoff in a western kind of vibe, this is some good stuff man. Like it has been awhile since I gushed about a movie this much, that should be clues enough for you to go check it out. Nothing short of 4 stars, 8.5/10, like man this movie could have a following and I am all there for it. What a high note to go out on this week, I genuinely hope next week can give the same when we look at Candyman so I'll see you soon.

Captain Marvel

Well that was average.

I really haven't heard a single good thing about Captain Marvel ever. I seriously expected this to be a bottom of the barrel Marvel movie, worse than Guardians 2 but truthfully it was okay. It has problems sure but it ain't trash either. So we meet up with Carol Danvers on an alien world where she essentially works as a special forces soldier battling an enemy constantly infiltrating and usurping control of worlds. After being captured and interrogated, memories awaken of a life before the one she remembers and she very quickly crashes on Earth searching for answers as to who she is. Now I will completely admit this is by no means a bad story, with better writing this could be a very emotional and powerful story about a woman who has been lied to her entire life and through circumstances very slowly unearths memories of who she really is and her subsequent vengeance on those who have lied to her and made her a living weapon. That would be a rad story, but we only get bits of it in this movie and it doesn't have an emotional punch to it. I've heard many people say oh Captain Marvel has no arc or development, oh she's too overpowered to the point where there is no tension in the fight scenes, and yes you are correct but how is that different from most other Marvel characters? True some heroes did have arcs in a single movie but a lot of them had to have 2 or 3 movies to complete an arc, and Brie Larson isn't terrible in this movie. I found she had very good screen chemistry with Sam Jackson, and while she didn't have much of a reaction to her past, there are hints of a personality to her character. I personally blame the script more than the actor. And what's this whole, there's no tension to the fights shit? Name one Marvel movie where there was tension in a fight scene beyond Infinity War. Go ahead. I got time. The fights are for spectacle not for story purposes, save for perhaps Civil War but even then there's not much tension. I wasn't expecting someone to bite the bullet in ANY Marvel movie except Infinity War. To be perfectly honest I hated one part of the movie, just one! The ending was a bit forced. Like really forced. Like are you kidding me kind of forced. Beyond that I didn't care much. This Marvel movie burnout has set in pretty much from Captain America, so I was just so not caring for the most part. There were a handful of things I liked, Nick Fury is awesome in this movie granted it's a different take from how we usually see him but Sam made it highly enjoyable, I kinda liked the soundtrack it had good energy and was catchy at points, I actually didn't mind the whole enemy twist thing and the standoff between Brie Larson and Jude Law really got a cute laugh out of me. I thought it was funny and kinda great. And yeah this movie is taking place in 1995, so I get my nostalgia but thanks for rubbing salt in my wounds with the Blockbuster you buncha' jackasses. But I was really expecting a very hamfisted, heavy handed, totally pandering elements in this movie with how much people were bitching about it. But honestly, I didn't see anything. No agenda pushing bullshit, no cringey lines, no women superior men inferior nonsense. I found the montage of her constantly falling down and picking herself back up to be a good message for every single human being on the face of the planet, and I could kinda see a moment or two when young girls might look up to Captain Marvel. Hero worship is no bad thing in my eyes. So it was a very middle of the road movie which could be argued is the worst crime of all. With a bad movie there's at least something to rant and rave about, and with a good movie there's plenty to talk about what you liked or loved. But with middle of the road movies they kinda just get forgotten, I'm really not expecting this movie to stick in my mind. It's an introduction movie before we see her in Endgame, that's the purpose of the film. So maybe that's why it feels not so well written, they just needed to quickly do like a character introduction/recap before they appear in a big event movie. It's a skip for sure but it's harmless. 2 stars, 5/10.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

You know what? I think this might be my favorite.

No I'm really being serious, I was very impressed with The Winter Soldier, able to take a deeper and more spy thriller adventure with Steve Rogers was a treat. There were tons of great moments, even ones that might have crushed my heart to dust, the action was interesting and well choreographed, the story took espionage and thriller and injected it into a superhero movie damn near flawlessly, Captain America gets great character progression and we see Steve being pushed harder than we've seen before, Scarlett is a huge plus with her great sense of humor and good character, the new additions we get are interesting and actually got me thinking what would happen next. This was a well made movie. Okay, so Steve has been working with SHIELD but his own personal morals are conflicting with the interests of the organization leading him to question if he's doing the right thing and how he is going to come to terms with that. Already they made Captain America a much more interesting character, giving a deeper look into his personality and mentality as he tries to grip with this new world. But pretty soon crazy stuff starts happening, secrets are being kept from Steve, Nick almost gets whacked mob hit style, Captain America becomes a fugitive of SHIELD, and a mysterious figure is called in to put Cap out of the game. I really dig the spy stuff, combining elements of the Bourne movies, Jack Ryan, there's even some Bond stuff in there but it actually mixes well and doesn't feel slapped on or creates tonal whiplash. I like the introduction of Falcon, he's a pretty cool dude and I'm interested to see more of him. Black Widow as I've said is amazing and elevates any scene she is in. The revelations whether obvious or not, change the game significantly and at the end I really and truly wanted to know what would happen after this movie, where with others it was just another movie where it ended and I was content. I don't know what it is, maybe it was the darker more serious tone, maybe it was the character stuff, maybe it was the well mixing of film genres, but something really clicked with me in this movie. The scene with Peggy was actually very hard to watch and is bringing me on the verge of tears even as I type this, it's just such a vulnerable strong moment that can really hit close to home for some folks, but the rest of the more quiet and intimate moments with the characters was greatly appreciated and in some cases said more than lengthy dialogue ever could. It felt like a comic book movie but still gave a lot more than what the average superhero film dishes out, which is why I liked it so much. Though I will never forgive it for the hail Hydra scene, yeah I was there when that bullshit flooded my Facebook page, thanks for that movie I still hate it! Regardless, 3.5 stars, 7.5/10! Will it be topped as #1 in the future? Only time will tell, but tomorrow we will be joining the Guardians Of The Galaxy so stay tuned.

The Avengers

Are you happy? I finally saw it.

It only took me almost a decade but I finally watched The Avengers. How was it? It's okay. I mean I know the wet dreams of Marvel fans the world over is probably what got this film to be the highest grossing film ever at one point in time, and while I can safely say this movie does not suck I didn't exactly love it either. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy this wasn't an hour and a half action scene done after an hour of buildup, in fact the pacing of the movie was commendable. Spending significant amounts of time catching us up on what the Avengers have been up to since their last movies, and getting everybody together for the first time. You started off good movie, you gave me Scarlett straight off the bat you get a point just for that! And I gotta say Mark Ruffalo really won me over very quickly, he brings more of that Bill Bixby humbleness and charm which pisses me off to no end that he hasn't got a proper solo movie cause I know he can pull it off! Christ, him and Loki were the best parts of the film hands down, Tom Hiddleston is just savaging this role and relishes every second of it, his acting is absurdly good in this movie. And I liked the dynamic of the team members, some don't get along while others do, they bicker sure but when shit hits the fan they are ready to help each other, the comraderie while brief was quite nice. The action scenes were spaced out and while I've become desensitized to crazy action setpieces I can just imagine the excitement and anticipation people had when seeing this for the first time. This has never been done before on any scale, and it would have been easy to make this a clusterf*** mess but they did good. I harbor no ill will towards The Avengers nor Justice League, I thought both movies juggled the characters and story well, so I can't really pick favorites on that case, I'd call them equals. I will say the plot sort of lost me a few times, mainly just because I forgot Hawkeye was even in this movie let alone brainwashed, and I didn't fully know why Loki decided to bring an alien race to decimate Earth. He had plenty of opportunities to grab the tesseract and GTFO but he just didn't, and I'm wondering what the plan was and how it pertains to a totally not California Raisin looking Thanos. I think the movie wisely focused more on the characters and their interactions than the sheer spectacle of battles, yeah it gets very cliched when the Avengers keep fighting one another and I know about the Civil War comic story so I know it's not impossible for these people to clash, but most of the time in the movie it felt forced and there just to sort of fill an action quota. And what the ass was with the alien/robot/monster things shutting down Phantom Menace style at the end? I thought they were just armored aliens but they work like robots? That...that was stupid, and weird, and didn't make a lick of sense but that's small beans to me with Tony and the nuke. He flat out pulls a Superman in The Dark Knight Returns and diverts a nuclear warhead to not destroy a city, but doesn't get caught in the blast radius this time, but what really gets on my nerves is he didn't need to fully insert it into the hole (Steady now...), just point it up and let go! And don't even try to tell me they were going for suspense if Tony was going to bite the bullet or not, nobody bought that for a millionth of a second. I know story doesn't have to be airtight in a popcorn flick like this, but some things just were odd to me and when the bullshit man says that's bullshit, well you know. It's a decent movie, I got some enjoyment out of it, I would place it with Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk as some of my favorites so far, so I'm just wondering what this Phase 2 or whatever it's called is going to hold for me. 3 stars, 7/10, I can understand why people like it but I am so not feeling the Marvel fanboy syndrome here.

Iron Man 2

Well we started off strong at least.

Yeah Iron Man 2 is a definite dud for me. When the most enjoyment I got out of the film was just rocking out to AC/DC at the end credits, that's not a good sign. I'm sorry but Iron Man 2 had nothing going for me, it tries something that we have seen before but brings nothing new to it. Okay so we fast forward 6 months after Iron Man, Tony has been revelling in the glory of his superhero identity but is actually dying from the arc reactor he invented which at first makes another compelling story point, he's slowly being poisoned by the thing that saved his life. Tragic irony, or poetic justice? Now I understand you needed some drama because the villains are so underwhelming and meaningless, but they just sort of pull a solution out of their ass in a very bewildering way and he's all better. But anyway, Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke team up to take out Tony Stark and create their own cheap knockoff mech suits, and my sweet sainted grandmother are they weak. Sam Rockwell, God bless that man, is a f***ing annoying twat in this movie, let me tell you about dis guy he never shuts the f*** up and contributes zero to the plot, and I've seen Sam Rockwell take smaller parts and bring something great to them as we've seen in Jojo Rabbit so I do not blame him for even a microsecond for this character. Mickey Rourke plays a russian physicist who for some reason goes after Tony and tries to destroy his legacy(?) for reasons unknown, seriously his dad kicks the bucket and then he starts making this lightwhip electro thingy, and gets his ass kicked twice in under 3 minutes. What the hell was the plan for this movie screenwriters? Nothing happens in this movie! Tony and Pepper's relationship kinda grows, Rhodey gets recast because well stuff happens and to be honest I like this guy better than the one before and he gets a pretty nifty mech suit, we introduce Black Widow so at the very least we get some Scarlett Johansson who you can tell did a good chunk of her combat and I'm always game to see more of her. And....that's about it. I will at least thank the filmmakers for giving us real suits, and guess what? They actually look pretty great! So no more need to unnecessarily CG them cause you can do it right there in camera, and again the action scenes are brief and still use plenty of practical stunts so good job there. But the story is meaningless, and the character progression is so shallow it's meaningless. They even pull the fight my best friend in a serious dramatic fight, because they had nothing going for this, War Machine and Iron Man duke it out for really no reason other than, "Tony's being an asshole and I gotta get him under control.". It's astounding how little there is in this movie, it's not even a fun popcorn movie cause you don't get a lot of action, and I'm not complaining about that trust me but what was the goal here? Could you imagine if they just gave us a Black Widow movie in place of this one, just a solo Natasha Romanoff movie that firmly sets where she works in SHIELD, what she does, and how she got there? I wouldn't be complaining much! This is a definite skip for sure, 2 stars, 4.5/10. I swear on all that is good and wholesome in this world, Thor better pick it up cause if this is the start of a downward spiral, it is not gonna be pretty.

Django Unchained

Yeah boy.

Full disclosure, I've seen parts of this movie on television before, mostly towards the tail end of it so this has been my first full watch through, and I thought the last 25 minutes was wild! Boy howdy lemme tell you something now, this is a great movie! I've come to know what to expect from seeing several of Quentin Tarantino's films, and yet he does something similar but still unique to each of his films. The man was born to make grindhouse-esque movies, you can tell real quick from just the opening credits but then you get the absurd zooms that never failed to make me laugh because it's that over the top, and the ridiculous amounts of blood. I've seen gory films in my time, I've seen bloody shootouts in my day, but not quite like this. And the story hardly took any time before I was fully invested, it being centered around a slave named Django who is quickly teamed up with a Dr. Schultz and collects bounties with him before the true meat of the story comes about when Django sets out to save his wife from a plantation. It's a movie where they ain't afraid to use the ugliest word in the human language, it makes almost 3 hours go by like 90 minutes, and every racist person gets a bullet in them. I am on board with that last part. They don't pull any punches, they keep it real to the times, they tell it how it is and do something with it. I heard that Jamie Foxx wasn't the first initial choice for Django, but honest to God I can't imagine the movie without him. His prescence, his wit, his physicality, it's pretty damn perfect in my eyes. But you really can't talk about one main character without talking about the other, and Christoph Waltz is giving his best performance to my knowledge (still haven't seen Inglorious Basterds just yet), and what a powerful duo these two are on screen. It is a joy to see them converse, blast fools, and have a really good friendship dynamic. And the supporting cast is just as strong, with Kerry Washington who is just a lovely lady and I'd pump people full of lead too to make sure she's safe and well, Leo is f***ing out there as usual and always fun to watch, Sam Jackson made me feel bad making me laugh so much at such blatant racism I mean sweet Jesus when the man starts calling people motherfrakkers you got to laugh. I just, I ain't mad at Tarantino for even a second for the dialogue, it's how they talked back then, but damn I still felt bad. But in reality, if you feel bad about seeing people be talked to that way and treated that way then you're not the problem, you got the better sense to know it's wrong. Even he said he despised Leo's character because he was such a hateful sack of shit (my words not his), so I ain't gonna give the man good grief for that. There isn't much action beyond the climax, they treat the gunplay seriously and with restraint mostly, but every damn time someone gets shot it's like if they had a overfilled blood bag under their clothes, it's ridiculous how much blood goes gushing after a gunshot. I guess high blood pressure will do that. It's a pretty spectacular movie, I was having a party during it and got big reactions out of me, I loved the cast, I loved the story, I wouldn't honestly complain if we got a sequel, it's just a great time at the movies. 4 stars, 8/10! I'm gonna buy it, watch it time and time again, and never get tired of seeing asshats get dead, D-E-D, dead! We'll shift gears a bit tomorrow which will lead into next week's reviews, and I'll give you a dollar if you can guess what it is.

In Retrospect: Glass

This has been a long time coming.

My problem with Glass is the way it ends. The rest of the movie is done very very well, the acting is great, the cinematography and editing is utilized to it's full potential, I appreciate what it means and the events of the film. However! You could have ended it leaps and bounds better. And you know what the sickest part is? I knew exactly what Shyamalan was going for, I completely and totally get the ending. But I, along with many other people have concluded that it fell flat. I had to see this movie again because I was practically radiating rage walking out of that theater so we gotta talk superheroes and the ending so hunker down y'all and avoid everything I say from this point on if you still haven't seen the movie. Okay? Okay. I fully understand the intent of the director, that the mantle of superheroes does not begin and end with our three main characters and that they inspire the future, and more so the fact that it underwhelms the audience with the way it ends. I've been hearing a lot of use of the term "subverting expectations" pretty much since The Last Jedi, I've never heard of it before until then and people started talking about it. This movie does that, they don't end the movie with a grand gesture, a limited edition story with a standoff on top of the tallest building in the city for all to see their extrodinary abilities, but a shocking hard cut that kills every one of our main characters. By this supposed secret organization that has been systematically eradicating superpowered people for over 10,000 years! Did I also mention this organization, or cult, or whatever the flying purple people eating bullshit this is was introduced in the movie, with and I'm not kidding, 21 minutes left in the movie. MINUTES! You don't know their name, or anything about them. And the reason they give is the most misguided pig shit I have ever heard in my life! To justify their actions they claim that "there cannot be gods amongst us" and because it's "not fair." Just....

Okay. I am not saying this is what Shyamalan believes, but I am saying this nonsense cult has no reason to be in the movie and are misguided fools. Allow me to part some wisdom that I have known for years now. Superheroes are the modern day equivalent of medieval knights, specifically the King Arthur knights. They go out and do good, might FOR right, compassion is not weakness, strength is not vital, and the best superhero comics of all time reinforce that. Where they rise above, and protect, and help others. They can inspire greatness in everyone. Superman is known all over the world, his S symbol is the second most known symbol behind the christian cross! And yet even other heroes can do that same thing, illicit that same response, that's why people will say Aquaman, or Black Panther, or Spawn, or any other comic book character is their favorite. They can identify and grow through that hero. It's not that kid power fantasy that so many assume it is, it can go deeper than that. So why not go through with the limited edition story we were promised? They throw the two nurses in the back of the van, drive off to the tower, David is in pursuit, they tear through the tower and get to the roof, there's helicopter cameras all over the place, Elijah is on the loudspeakers doing his thing, David squares off against The Beast, the world sees their amazing feats while Elijah tells the world how he did it all, then David remembers overhearing Kevin's name, uses it against him and throws him off the tower! Kevin dies, then David has to take Elijah in as the world is aghast, Elijah is put behind bars, The Overseer goes undercover while keeping an eye on Mr. Glass and various individuals are inspired to use their amazing gifts for good or for evil. But no! Some nameless assholes shoot Kevin and drown David, and poor Elijah's ribs get crushed by The Beast. I mean, the showoff happened but not at the new tower and it ruins these characters! I was enraged because these characters died, and in really honorless, pathetic, and underwhelming ways and they deserved better. That shows how well they were written and acted because you wanted so much more of them! To see them just offed in such a shitty way makes you upset, and I get that was the intent but was it in best interest of the film series? Through the credits they show a collage of scenes from all the movies signifying those were stepping stones to a bigger picture. And this was it! The buildup and exchanges were done so well, but the payoff felt like you were getting two big middle fingers shoved straight up your ass! Maybe my ending I pitched was too obvious or something(?) but you could imagine that stuff going down with these characters and how awesome and well done it would have been! This series desperately needs a good comic book running where they just take these movie characters and write original stories for them and maybe incorporate this organization and build upon them and give us a 10/10 ending. You could even keep Elijah's knowledge and commentary on comic books for a healthy dose of meta. Up yours Wade Wilson! Totally do that, it'd be better than this intentional anti-climatic betryal of these characters! It's just sad man. I'm happy I'm moving on.

And next week, starting Sunday it's time we talk about one of the best series based off the best movie series ever even to this day!

Glass

Well damn it, I wasn't expecting that.

I've never felt so jaded toward a movie. Glass was really good but it pissed me off too, this was the other end of the extreme, I was getting hyped and really liked the movie but it didn't end the way I wanted it. I know that is ridiculous, but hey man when you get jaded something had to happen to your emotions. In fact, that's a great thing! This movie got me all wound up and got some blood coursing through my veins, and it has been awhile since that last happened. It really did deliver everything I wanted, so this movie takes place I don't even think 6 months after Split. David has started a sort of homebrew crime fighting career, I mean we've seen tons of super rich heroes start out but we've never really seen a realistic no budget crime fighter so that was neat, but David soon comes into contact with Kevin and they confront and are taken to a psychiatric hospital where they along with Elijah are treated to believe their superpowers are imagined. We all know they are not so that makes the head of this hospital an absolute tool who I hate with every fibre of my body, it doesn't slow the movie down because the characters are still interesting and their interactions are a joy to see. So the movie is really good and if you asked me which is the best....maybe Split but this was the culmination of it all so it probably will win out for me. Will this movie hit the top 10 of this year? We shall see but for the first new movie of the new year, we're off to a strong start.

Unbreakable

My first Shyamalan movie how about that?

Strange that this is the one above all others that I decided to review first but hey, with Glass right around the corner it was time. And I'm going to be honest out of all the films this guy has directed, Unbreakable is the one I hear the least about. I'm not entirely sure why though, it's a good movie, it came right off the heels of The Sixth Sense so Shyamalan was still a golden boy, and he took an interesting turn on a superhero-esque movie never seen before. So Bruce Willis stars as David Dunn a security officer who goes through a horrific train accident that kills every single passenger yet he comes through without even a scratch on him. Now that's an interesting movie all on it's own, it presents a good mystery that slowly makes more sense as the movie progresses. He soon comes in contact with a comic book aficianado named Elijah Price played excellently by Sam Jackson, and I gotta say this really is one of his best performances! Jackson really is, to me, the reason why the movie works so well. His passion for comic books I think dives well past an obsession, and his actions and more important his conversations with David are endlessly fascinating in the context of the movie. I think it's needless to say what the twist is regarding recent events but I would be lying if the reveal wasn't spectacular. There's tons to talk about in terms of comic book archetypes, character motivation, and the formation of a basis for future films which is actually what this movie is, a foundation for things to come. We will be talking about what comes next, but I wanted to talk more about smaller details I noticed that made the movie really good in my eyes. I like how the movie was shot, there are tons of shots where you see characters move and talk strictly through a small reflection somewhere in frame, in fact the framing is quite good and it does seem off with not much camera movement or even really many cuts, now the odd thing is I read up on this movie a bit and there is actually a multitude of long takes and I barely even noticed because the shots don't drag or even reach Birdman levels of camera movement and blocking of characters but they stick around for a bit then cut, I simultaneously really like and dislike the poncho David wears because it looks awesome in shadow and silhouette yet he wears it because he doesn't like water and I'm sure I could make a case for this movie influencing Signs but whatever. I'm interested to see what happens next in this world, and I knew when I saw the Glass trailer I had to get to this movie. I feel the movie warrants more discussion, because it is a good movie, and something one of my reviewers I watched made a really good point, they said something along the lines of, when there's pressure on Shyamalan he stumbles and falls but when there's no pressure or expectations he does well. After seeing this movie, he started to stumble with Signs, then fell and fell and fell, and smashed into the pavement with After Earth, now it seems he's dusting himself off and getting back on track with our next movie of the week, Split. See you then!

The Incredibles

I'm simultaneously excited, and yet kind of bitter it took them 14 years to finally make a sequel to The Incredibles. I'll talk more about that later after the review.

The Incredibles, Pixar's superhero movie is a cut above the rest. Not only because of the great animation, but the story and characters. The interesting thing I noticed is the current story takes place in the early 60s, which is interesting enough but that also means the opening scene takes place a bit past 1945. So it simultaneously is a superhero movie, and yet an alternate reality movie. Hell the only other movie I know off the top of my head that does such a thing is Watchmen, so already I was digging this movie and appreciated it more than when I was a kid. Alright, in a reality of multiple superheroes that have yet again like Watchmen, been retired and are living normal lives after the glory days we meet Bob Parr, Mr. Incredible living a suburban life with his family. And he is going through the always fun time of a mid-life crisis, trying to relive the days of being a hero while trying to maintain his job and be a part of his family. And I am certain this is easily the best Fantastic Four movie ever to be made in history, with Helen Parr as Elastigirl having two children Dash who has super speed, and Violet who can create force fields and turn invisible. This family is awesome, because they act and feel like a real family that just so happens to have superpowers. The dynamic and characters are wonderful to say the least, and I have to give a special shout out to Brad Bird for creating these wonderful designs for each character. Back to story, so Mr. Incredible is contacted and sent to a island where I swear to God seeing it now is so clearly a villain's lair it is almost absurd. A plot is discovered that entails the deaths of all supers, leading The Incredibles to save the day. One glorious aspect is that a lot of love went to Ken Adam's designs in the early James Bond films, because honestly if I did not know the S in that board room meant Syndrome, at my age right now, I would say it's SPECTRE. Like it's amazing how much material they give homages to and it works. The characters are essentially The Fantastic Four, the plot is a combination of silver age adventures mixed with modern introspection of our characters, the set design is Ken Adams down to the letter, and the music is entirely done in this jazz/swing band with a lot of brass and soul straight from the 40s. I also love how the technology is so high tech that surprisingly the film is timeless. Animation can become timeless regardless of setting or story, and this is a prime example of that. People can watch this movie even 50 years down the line and still enjoy it as much as when it first came out. With that said, *BRIEF TANGENT INCOMING* this is going to sound really weird but hear me out. The Incredibles 2 is my Phantom Menace. Now what do I mean by that? Well, seeing as how I was born in 1995 I didn't have to wait that long for the prequels. Hell by the time I got into Star Wars, The Phantom Menace was in theaters if not almost out on video. The Incredibles 2 took 14 years to hit, about 3 years shy from the time it took from Return Of The Jedi to The Phantom Menace, I was 9 or 10 when I first saw The Incredibles. I...really, really do not want The Incredibles 2 to fall on it's face for me. I never experienced The Phantom Menace as a grown up and witnessed the betrayal of Star Wars. This could be a Phantom Menace situation, a continuation of a story that took over 10 long years to get here, with a loving and devoted fanbase, and the wait better have been worth it. The only thing left I have to say is, if you really make me wait about 20 years for a Monsters Inc. sequel, I will be severely disappointed in you Pixar.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

This was a blast! You want a different sort of spy movie? Look no further.

Kingsman is a great, fun, and very entertaining spy movie that revels in the absurdity and all things awesome that we have come to know and love in the spy genre from the 60s and 70s. Our main hero Eggsy had a father who worked with a completely top secret institute known as Kingsman, he dies on a mission and about 10 years later Eggsy comes in contact with his father's partner Galahad who takes him under his wing and trains him to fight Samuel L. Jackson from killing the world with Suicide Squad bombs implanted in people's heads. Sounds ridiculous? Well, there's a reason. I love the fact that this movie totally says it's a spy movie, unashamedly having fun with the classic James Bond archetypes of megalomaniacal villains, bizzare assassins, ridiculously awesome gadgets, and always cool looking secret agents. I expected a decent movie and I got a really good one! There's many good things to say about it and very little bad things, so I'll keep it short and sweet. First off, bitching cast right off the bat. In one instance we have Mark Hamill, Sam Jackson, and Sofia Boutella in a scene together. Need I say more? All actors are outstanding across the board, the action is absolutely insane in terms of choreography and really creates a spectacle that I haven't felt in a movie in ages. And that's a great word to describe this movie, a spectacle! A spectacle of action, humor, and espionage blended perfectly and poured in a martini glass. This is a movie that deserves the praise and the viewings from people all over the world, and more than worthy enough to buy. So now, I'm stoked for the sequel like mad! I expect it to be a good sequel, with a lot of fun in it, so I will see you there and remember that manners maketh man.

In Retrospect: Kong Skull Island

Is it 2020 yet?

It's a great time to be alive. I mean, in 2 weeks Shin Godzilla hits video here in the
states, next year Legendary's Godzilla gets a sequel, and in 2020 a rematch of King Kong Vs. Godzilla. But hey, this retrospect is about Kong so let's talk about his movie. Again. It's still awesome! I still love it. Kong is an amazing creature, done with great special effects, and really acts like an ape. Albeit a very big ape, but you know. In fact all the creatures are cool, though I severely doubt the Skullcrawlers will make a comeback. Looking back, I love all the cast but my God Brie Larson. I have no idea what to say about her, beyond yeah she's good but I just get this weird feeling from her. Nothing bad, just I find it very fascinating how she acts in this movie. She's a smartass, but compassionate. Tom Hiddleston is a great lead, certainly the most sensible person in the group. Samuel Jackson is an asshole, but really don't we love him like that? So the main leads are great, most of the supporting cast are great, although the military are entirely expendable in this movie. And one thing I failed to mention, my God this movie loves it's jumpscares and lens flares. Have I made a rhyme? Anyway, still a decent movie, after credits scene is the best scene, Kong is awesome and so is his new movie. Go buy it.

Kong: Skull Island

Holy shrimp!!!!

Yes! Yes!! A thousand times yes! This film kicked ass! Kong is back and his movie is great. Several of my predictions came true. The movie takes place in 1973 (Awesome!) with a research team headed by John Goodman to Skull Island to prove that monsters exist. He is backed by military personel immediately after the Vietnam War ended, and with the help of a tracker played by Tom Hiddleston they head to the island. What follows is a rush of monster brawls, interesting mythos, good acting, great action, and sets up a whole world of classic giant monsters. Several lines specifically put this in the world of the 2014 Godzilla movie, with the Monarch branch, sadly no Dr. Serizawa but you get the gist of it, and oh boy the ending. I knew damn well there was going to be an after credit sequence, and I have never been more hyped in my life. I would almost say to see the movie just for the after credit scene, if you're not a big fan of Kong still see it for the after credits scene. It is that spectacular. The special effects were awesome, it hardly took anytime for Kong to start kicking some serious ass around here and it was highly entertaining. Now me being the monster fan I am you know I am going to say go see this movie. So go see this movie. Now.

Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children

Hooray, I'm back and with a really good movie!

This is easily the best work of Tim Burton I've seen in a good while. Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children is a charming, very well done, and slightly nightmarish film following a young boy named Jake who after years of hearing tales of monsters and a group of peculiar people, actually discovers that shock and surprise, they actually exist. But not all is well, the monsters are on the move again and to protect the children Jake must take up arms just like his grandfather before him. First thing I got to say is, I really enjoyed the tone of this movie. It's very difficult to describe but by God it has an excellent stride in it's story, characters, setting, and dialogue. The casting is so out there it becomes genius, we have Eva Green, Dame Judi Dench, Terence Stamp, and friggin' Samuel L. Jackson! What?? Brilliant! So obviously the major players are great, but how about the kids? I love them. I wish I could adopt them all. They are kind, considerate, some gushing with adorableness, but the movie never lets their peculiarities become the character. They have moments of doubt, sadness, anger, jealousy, and love. You really believe they do exist. I love the setting in this movie from a straight up Edward Scissorhands style suburbia, to the cold and dark shores of Wales, to the eponymous home which is very beautiful and is filled with much character. The soundtrack is beautiful to listen to, combining very creepy yet lovely music which does indeed make me want to track the soundtrack down. I got to say it didn't take much for me to want to see this movie, it wasn't Eva Green, it wasn't a new Tim Burton film, it wasn't even this strange and great looking new film, it took exactly two seconds of a tv spot showing skeletons with weapons, a la Jason And The Argonauts to make me say, yep I'm going to go see this movie and I am so glad I did. It's a very good movie with a quite frankly awesome mythology, characters who I cared about, and although it got nightmarish near the end, I would recommend it to families and children, I think they'll enjoy the world and characters very much like I did and might even enjoy watching it quite often. But we all know it's great just because of Grandpa Zod. Just kidding. Have a great night everybody, see you (hopefully) next week!

Pulp Fiction

Still my favorite Tarantino movie.

Pulp Fiction is a fantastic movie by Quentin Tarantino, combining very film noir-esque storytelling with a galleon of star power behind it. I mean we got Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, and of course...Christopher Walken. Oh come on, how can you turn it down now? The plot is...a bit confusing cause you see, it is told out of sequence. No lineart strict progression from start to finish you really have to piece this puzzle together which is why I call it sort of a film noir but it is not a central character in the movie, it's you. You are present for all events and you try and figure out what sequence it went down in. And the plot itself is crazy and hell I don't even think I could recount it without giving something away but it revolves around quite a crew of characters, with a hitman and his partner, a mob boss and his wife, a boxer too, the Professor and Mary Ann, you get the picture. Still awesome and very quotable dialogue, good sense of humor but can still do tension filled scenes, memorable characters, and all around just a great film. Tarantino fan or not, watch this movie if you haven't already you will enjoy it.

And thus tomorrow we will look into more of a comic book film noir, in black and white and stylized like hell. Can't freaking wait man.

Attack Of The Clones

Well this movie is slightly better than The Phantom Menace. But not by much.




So this installment of the Star Wars saga takes place ten years after The Phantom Menace, and surprisingly....not much has happened. Anakin has gotten older, he's still a Padawan. Obi-Wan is now almost a Jedi master. Padme is no longer a queen and yet everyone still calls her milady for some reason, and she hasn't aged at all she looks the same as she did from the last movie. The Republic has encountered a bit of a problem, a separatist organization has been created and now the Republic is almost on the verge of war. And the separatists have tried to assassinate Padme, so she has to be guarded by Obi-Wan and Anakin, whose relationship has certainly changed in the past ten years. They are good friends but they still have the master-apprentice relationship, which cause friction as Anakin is acting very self absorbed and feels like his master is holding him back. So they figure out a bounty hunter was sent to kill Padme so they have to split up, Obi-Wan starts his search for the mysterious bounty hunter, and Anakin has to protect Padme and return her to her home planet of Naboo. Soon Obi-Wan discovers who the bounty hunter is and travels to the world of Kamino where he also discovers that a clone army has been produced for the Republic from the DNA of the bounty hunter Jango Fett the father of Boba Fett. Meanwhile on Naboo a romance starts to blossom between Anakin and Padme and really I could care less. I know it's important to the characters and the story but really it's just tedious and boring. It reminds me of Bella and Edward's romance in Twilight, and that makes me sick to my stomach, but we will get to the Twilight movies in good time! So anyway, Obi-Wan tracks Jango to the planet of Geonosis and gets captured and has a brief chat with Count Dooku played masterfully by Christopher Lee who is the saving grace of this movie! Seriously, what is with these prequel movies and the only thing I truly love about them is the secondary Sith Lord? Speaking of Sith Lords, Count Dooku reveals to Obi-Wan that the senate of the Republic is under control of a Sith Lord by the name of Darth Sidious. Yes, yes, politicians are evil. Ha ha! Moving on...Anakin has horrible visions of his mother dying so he goes to Tatooine to try and find her, but finds it's too late and she dies in his arms. They soon receive a pre-recorded message form Obi-Wan telling them of the planet Geonosis, so they travel there to save him only to be captured themselves. Meanwhile in the senate, emergency powers are given to Chancellor Palpatine to use the clone army to fight the separatists. So they quickly rush over to Geonosis to capture their leaders and save our heroes. The battle is successful but Dooku gets away so our Jedi knights track him down and fight him. The fights in this movie are really good! Even though the duel with Dooku is short, it's still very good primarily for one reason, we get to see Yoda pull out his lightsaber and fight! Are you kidding me? And he's like lightning quick, he's doing all these flips and tricks, it's unbelievable! I'd say watch the movie just for that! But the fight doesn't go good for our heroes, Anakin gets his right arm cut off, him and Obi-Wan are nearly crushed by a pillar which Yoda stops but gives enough time for Dooku to escape the planet. So Anakin gets a robot arm and even secretly marries Padme even though they've known each other for a couple of days, maybe a week at best. Seriously, they meet up after ten years, travel to Naboo, hang out and build their horribly written romance for a few days, go to Tatooine and bury Anakin's mother and then go to Geonosis to help Obi-Wan and then they are sooo deeply in love they get married. Blah, blah blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. Just wake me up when we see Yoda fight.


Alright! We get to look at Revenge Of The Sith tomorrow! I love that movie. Can't wait!