Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah

Ah, memories.

Yes the Heisei fan favorite is quite possibly my most watched Godzilla film, way back when I was a kid I had the fortune of having this new thing called satellite cable and I had access to many movie channels beyond HBO and back then Starz and Encore had a fair share of Godzilla movies and this was one I taped along with the Super Mario Bros. Movie and Clue, I still have the tape and it's something I still treasure. This movie along with Godzilla 2000 were the big ones I watched when I was younger. So it's no surprise I really love this movie and it hasn't lost any of it's appeal or entertainment value in the subsequent 15+ years. The story is one of the most unique in the Godzilla series where a UFO sighting leads a group of national government authorities to make contact with not aliens but people from the 23rd century who seek to wipe Godzilla out from existence through time travel. The movie gives an interesting new take on Godzilla's origins where he was originally a dinosaur on one of the islands in the Pacific that were used for the H-bomb testing grounds, and future installments take some of that to heart, even the 2014 movie a little bit. So they reverse the polarity of the neutron flow and travel back to 1944, teleport Godzilla to the then present day of 1992, but shocking twist the humans from the future are bad guys and create King Ghidorah in Godzilla's place which they use to level Japan and our heroes have to find a way to revive Godzilla and deal with the evil doing humans. There's more twists and turns but I want you to see them for yourself. So you have an interesting and original plot, very good characters which we will talk about in a bit, quite frankly awesome special effects, and a bunch of other good things I could spend hours gushing over. I really like the characters in this movie, surprisingly though they range from a writer to government officials to humans from the 23rd century they feel very relatable. And I have to admit upon watching this movie again, I just realized that the guys from the future kinda look like Rick Astley and Donald Trump which kinda makes the movie better strangely, and if you've ever wanted to see either of those guys get their asses kicked you gotta watch this movie! I also have to applaud the continuity, not only do they bring back a few actors from Godzilla Vs. Biollante who stick around for the rest of the Heisei series but they specifically mention Biollante by name and that Godzilla is still resting from that fight. Awesome! The special effects are Heisei quality with great miniatures, fantastic monster designs, but it also doesn't skimp out on the human scenes either especially now that you got time machines and other far out future tech, it's really a great Godzilla movies even for younger kids. Yeah, it's a great movie in my eyes, the special effects are outstanding in all areas (for the most part but eh whatever), good characters, great story, and a must see for any Godzilla fan. And tomorrow we look at one more from the Millenium series before the big day!

Pacific Rim Uprising

John Boyega didn't save me.

How did it get worse?! I was walking in with a semi-optimistic view, and I left knowing better than to trust myself. Let's begin. Pacific Rim 2 takes place 10 years after the first, so by my math we are in the early 2020s, following the son of Idris Elba played by John Boyega who is recruited back to train Jaegers when, shock gasp! the kaiju return and he has to clean house. I was so hoping this would redeem the first but it just made it worse! It took the very, very few elements I liked in the first movie and they done fraked it up!! My two favorite characters ruined. One dies, the other turns heel on everybody. Not a good start to win me back after the mess of the first movie! John Boyega couldn't save this movie with his charm and good acting. I don't know what movie has worse characters, probably this one. At least in the first movie there was something there to bitch about, but with this movie there is so little to these characters they might as well not be there. So which is worse, one dimensional characters or characters that have absolutely nothing to take note of? It was like every opportunity they had to make it cool, they just threw away! Oh they got this badass evil mech, it's gonna tear the heroes to pieces! Nope. Oh the mechs get dismembered so they have to rebuild them with parts from the other mechs, sounds cool right? An amalgamation of different robot parts and weapons to create new kickass mechs! No, they just rebuild the ones that were broken. No innovation, no creativity, no thought. And this is the greatest joke of the entire series, well besides the sequel bait at the end. They name the kaiju. Every kaiju in both movies have names. Are you dead sucking ferious right now?? Wow, how did I forget to talk about that last time? How do you name the exact same monster?! They all look the same!! It's not like in Godzilla movies, where you have Jet Jaguar and Mothra! You could not confuse those two! Here? I thought they killed the same kaiju twice! How do you screw this up?! It's giant mechs fighting monsters, do something! Be creative! Be colorful! Be cool! Be (censored) anything!!! I am not reviewing Pacific Rim 3. I refuse. I will quit before such a thing occurs! There was one good thing about going to see this movie. I have a movie theater right down the street from my place, 9 times out of 10 I go to that theater, it's up on top of a hill so I have to climb up to get to the theater and see my movie. I am not making a joke about how the climb was not worth it. After the movie, I started walking down the hill and the skyline was beautiful. That was the only silver lining I could find from seeing this movie. The best thing that came out of that movie was NOT IN THE MOVIE! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to watch a Godzilla movie and then go into a coma.

Pacific Rim

Oh boy did I call this one all those years ago.

Pacific Rim....has issues. I know, blasphemy! You're saying, "But Dude, it's a movie where giant mechs punch kaiju! How could you of all people not love it??". Well I'm glad you asked person in my head, and I'll tell you. It's not so much the concept, it's fine but more the details of the world. Time for backstory! In 2007, several kaiju have appeared from a dimensional rift in the pacific rim and have cause countless death and destruction, in response the government creates an army of war mechs to battle the monsters for years and years to come. Flash forward about 5 years where we meet one of the pilots returning to the field after the death of his brother to fight the kaiju once again! That is a synopsis, but as I said the devil is in the details. Now the minute I saw you needed two people to practically be synchronized fighters to pilot this mech, I had several questions and found it to be utterly stupid. I was correct, and I got not so great answers. So why does there need to be 2 pilots? Well the strain of piloting a war mech apparently is in the vein of Neon Genesis Evangelion because a single pilot can be overstrained and die due to mental breakdown and exhaustion. Yes, their brains turn to soup if they pilot a robot alone. Okay. So how do the pilots sync up to perform a single action? Mind meld. I....Jesus H. Christ on the bloody cross. This is the detail that breaks the movie's back! It's not like in Power Rangers where 5 people control all the limbs which made sense, they needed to communicate to coordinate attacks. There is so much bullshit to this system I need to rant, so get ready. It's gonna be loooong. This is so stupid I cannot believe it. You need 2 people to pilot a war mech, because one person cannot take the mental strain....? It looks purely physical, I don't think you need much brain capacity to pilot such a machine. Just as long as you know how to fight and know the controls, you're good! But no! You need 2 pilots to sync the same movements to pilot this thing! What?! The robots can't even kick! They are essentialy rock em' - sock em' robots, because all they can do is punch or shoot! And then there is the mind meld thing! You need two people, mainly siblings to pilot this thing because they need to have a "connection" through memories and experiences. So you can't even get a regular kind of anybody to pilot these things because they need to have shared memories and experiences. I am facepalming, and it hurts! So if say one of them died, well tough cookies we gotta get someone else! The slightest bit of thought and the movie comes crashing down like a skyscraper. Oh and this killed me! So our main character meets this girl and they talk and blah, blah, blah (we'll get to the characters in a minute!) and he asks her to spar with him. So they spar and he proclaims and shouts from the mountaintops that they have a connection so she should be his co-pilot. Hwhat?? You have known each other for maybe 5 days if I was being generous, and you have this "connection" enough to work with? This isn't like in Star Wars, where Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade have known each other for years and connected through the Force so much that they knew each other completely, and can fight incredibly without even uttering a word to one another! No! You do not get to do that movie! No!! Oh my God this movie sucks. It's terrible. Oh and now we gotta do the characters! So we got our main character Raleigh, he lost his brother. That's it. That's his character, he pilots a mech and lost his brother. Next! We have his co-pilot and kinda love interest Mako, who I swear is the only good character because she has an arc! She was a little girl who lost her family, her home, and everything she knew so she wants justice or revenge on all kaiju for taking her life away. That's a good character! She doesn't go full Ahab, but she has the passion and drive to fight these creatures. Oh but I'm sorry, Idris Elba holds her back. Why? I don't know! Cause Mako is all like, "Daddy can I go outside and play monsters with the boys?" and Idris Elba is all, "No my child, you must stay inside and learn self control or some bullcrap even though you are perfectly capable of kicking ass." and that's his character! Just some hard ass stand in for either a police commisioner or an army sergeant who yells at our hero. Idris Elba, no! You're better! Oh God, there's more. Their system is so flawed.....okay, so turns out if you have any kind of trauma or PTSD like our two leads have, it can have catastrophic consequences because they freak out and the robot thusly freaks out. Brilliant. There's more horrible one dimensional characters but I honestly don't feel like talking about them. I have a headache and I need alcohol and pills. Even the kaiju aren't cool! They all look the same! How do you do that?? The robots look cool, I guess but it makes me long for the Megazord or some of the later Mechagodzillas you see in the Heisei and the Millenium series. I guess giant robot movies are dead. They can't make a good one. Transformers butchered it, and now Pacific Rim is putting nails in the coffin. I would rather watch Transmorphers, at least that had Bruce Boxleitner! Oh damn it, now I gotta review the second one. John Boyega save me!!!

In Retrospect: Shin-Gojira

Jesus, that's an unsettling ending isn't it?

So the newest Godzilla movie from Japan just hit video here in the States, so of course I'm gonna talk about it! It's been almost a whole year since I saw this in theaters, so it's high time we discuss this movie more. So this is a full fledged reboot, dealing with Godzilla's first appearance in modern day Japan, and just how they can stop an invincible, terrifying force such as Godzilla. And this movies in my opinion, is 110% accurate how all this would go down if this was a real event. I really have to commend the film on this, because it takes real Japanese government actions and regulations, as well as relations with other countries and uses them realistically due to a giant radioactive monster trampling through the city. It happens. But the real genius of the movie is how it's basically a satire and all around punch to the Japanese government. It IS way too official, it IS ridiculously drawn out just to do one simple thing whether it's evacuating a city or creating military strategies. Japan really does see the flaws in it's government, and it's not just in this movie where you see the satire, the entire Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney games are a satire of the Japanese legal system like almost down to the letter, albeit with less colorful and ridiculous characters, but I digress. So this movie really does speak volumes much like the original 1954 version, dare I say even more so. So it's a very succesful film in my mind, and not just due to the fact that Toho made a new Godzilla film. But it does work both ways, you can enjoy the destruction and raw awesome power of the Big G, but you can also appreciate the film for it's realism and satire. Yes, the movie deals with the human characters vastly more than when you see Godzilla, but he does have his presence there. People are always talking about his abilities, his power, his physiology, and how he could possibly evolve in the future. Now I have to admit I hated the idea of Godzilla evolving through the film, but honestly after a year I've come to realize there is a lot more to the evolution than just seeing new monsters. There is a clear logic to it, from him being an aquatic sea creature, to an amphibious creature, to a fully adapted land creature. Even his powers are logically explained, like his atomic breath being brought on due to massive trauma and the ability to shoot photons out of his dorsal fins. I originally said you can see severe anime connections to the Godzilla scenes and I still stand by that, but it's not in your face as I might have suggested. It's a damn good movie, and certainly can't be labelled as just another monster movie, there was effort and thought put into it, not to say that other Godzilla movies didn't have time and effort put into them but something about this movie really works incredibly well. Is it because of how realistic it potrays such an outlandish event? Is it because of the satire of the overcomplicated government system of Japan? Or is it just because it has effective and well done destruction and action scenes? The world may never know....