Dungeons & Dragons Honor Among Thieves

Aged like wine or a very nice bourbon.

I know some hardcore, dungeon crawling, bone rolling fans who are gonna dig the shit out of this movie. And as a newbie I felt very proud to know so many tidbits of the world from creatures to spells, but the overall story and characters is where it's at. The plot is pretty much exactly stated in the trailer, a group of noble thieves help a secret dark wizard to acquire a powerful artifact and while working out their own baggage turn full on heroes. The reason why exactly this movie works so well aside from the performances themselves is the backstory, the motivation, the history of these characters. All easily understandable, grounded, and fleshed out enough to where you get them. Though I think the dialogue is written well enough to where even if the backstory wasn't there you get a solid grip on the personalities of our main characters. Of course Chris Pine is a charismatic, funny, and great lead as the bard Edgin and has the biggest arc of our party. Michelle Rodriguez is...okay without shamelessly fawning over a century for this woman, plays a powerhouse barbarian named Holga who is absurdly awesome, has a dry sense of humor, and an undying loyalty to Edgin. I am smitten. Justice Smith is our residential sorcerer Simon, bit of a klutz, has some awkwardness, but is a strong spell slinger. Sophia Lillis as a shapeshifting Tiefling named Doric I feel gets the least stuff to do but I like her character motivation to join the party and has some really cool moments peppered throughout so she is far from a waste. Daisy Head as Sofina, great villain in appearance but average in terms of scheme and I must admit red wizards were unknown to me in my research, but guys seriously? This woman who stares at you like she's from the fucking dark side, in a cloak, smoky eye to the max, and she wants you to break into a vault housing treasure of villains, none of this tipped you off?? Cause that would be a hard pass for me. But truthfully that's the only nitpick I got. The movie is really dang funny, in situation and dialogue with actors who have good timing, and it never feels unnecessary. The tone makes it all work, it projects a sense of fun, high stakes but not really heavy, adventurous feeling and delivers beautifully. It truly does feel like you are watching the visualization of a group of people playing the game, there are botches, good saving throws, proficiencies, getting loot and better weapons, it all feels legit. It works as a fantasy movie yes, you can walk in knowing jack shit about D&D and have some fun, but if you know your stuff it feels like an extension of that universe. And it feels like there is comraderie, group effort, and combining of skills which is the true spirit of the game. So it works well as a movie, it works well as an adaptation of the most popular role playing game in the world, and it no doubt can work well with sequels either following this party or going on a different quest with a new group. Nothing but 4 stars from me, 8.5/10, check it out even if you have just an ounce of interest. Dungeons & Dragons has been nothing but inevitable in my life, I've been hearing about this game since my teen years and I did the research and bought the books, and I may have gotten sidetracked and made my own character (A high elf warlock in league with an Elder God if you wanna know), but the interest is still there and I'm down for more. Hell I already bought the dice, I think I'm pretty much in at that point. Tune in next week for some adaptations of good old Nintendo games.

Don't Worry Darling

Olivia you f***ing madwoman!

I am so not sure where to start. I liked it a good deal, gave me exactly what I expected and wanted, but I think this one is gonna be a short review. There just ain't much I can divulge. Okay so story time, a young housewife in the 1950s is living a trully idyllic life but as time passes cracks start forming and she seeps through them to discover not all is cocktails and sunshine. Not exactly the most groundbreaking of plots but you know what, I was invested and intrigued to end credits. I wish I did not have a headache when I walked in, not that the movie contributed to it at all, but it's hard to focus on dialogue and sown seeds when you just wish you had some ibuprofen. The movie gets bizzare and kinda unsettling fairly quick, and we get some avant garde artsy stuff and you know I'm onboard for that. Florence Pugh, God bless hun you get stuck in these situations but hot damn I'm always so proud of you at the end of the film. Totally did not know that was Harry Styles until credits, but I'm far from modern to say the least but I felt he did quite good throughout. Olivia Wilde with piercing green eyes, gingerhair, and 50s aesthetics, 10/10! Was really looking forward to Chris Pine being a bad guy, and while we have bits of this power struggle and manipulations he isn't that prevalent in it. On one hand I can see and respect why, he's almost this Bond villain where he is more heard than seen and his presence is felt looming everywhere. I appreciate that but he did really good with his physical performance that I wanted more out of it. The movie has elements of The Truman Show, A Clockwork Orange, some real world cult influence, and a healthy dose of psychological madness. And I know, I am gazing into the future as we speak and I don't like a single goddamn thing I'm seeing. Oh this movie has an agenda, it's man hating propaganda, every bullshit buzzword under the sun, feminism, SJW, "woke", ect. ect., and I'm sure the world cares so much about your opinion sweetheart. Speaking as The Dude, and I am fairly certain there was a majority of women in that theater with me, I can say this is a very good movie and you can tell Olivia Wilde had so much to get off her chest in regards to conformity, relationships of a toxic variety, freedom of choice, and how the 1950s lifestyle treated women. I am okay with this, I dig it, I gave two thumbs way way up when end credits rolled. 4 stars, 8/10, goodnight everybody!

Wonder Woman 1984

I would like to go on record and submit an apology. When I first saw the trailer I thought Nathan Fillion was in the role of Maxwell Lord and it was Pedro Pascal. I think this was significantly before I watched The Mandalorian so I did not know what he looked like, and I'm sorry about that.

Now that we got that out of the way, are you f***ing kidding me? Really? We're doing this again are we? You know what I am so sick of? I am so sick of hearing nothing but bad mouthing and shitting on a movie before I see it and when I finally do, it turns out to be a good, decent movie. Case in f***ing point, Wonder Woman 1984. I cannot tell you one thing good that was said about this movie when it first came out. Everytime. Every. Time. When this movie was brought up I heard bad things. Not specific things so nothing got spoiled in the slightest, but the ambiance was vastly negative even disappointing from people. What movie did you see in the theater, and how did it differ from the one I just rented? Did they pull a Snyder cut and re-edited the movie for the home video release, cause I got news for you I didn't see one goddamn thing that was bad in this movie, not even sub-par. You think I would be happy about that but really I am so aggravated and frankly pissed right the hell off. Like was the world just in a bad mood when this movie hit in 2020?? Jesus Christ, I mean yes some stuff was going down, bad stuff, but come on man. Not to say the movie was a masterpiece, nor would I say it's better than the first I'd give the first a 8/10, but there is not one aspect of this film's production that would get anything below a 6/10. The production design is quite good with ample various sets and locations, the music is very good both in Hans Zimmer's score and the pop tunes, the cast is excellent and in some cases you can see they are performing their heart out I mean they embody these roles for this generation, the action while less than the first was shot, choreographed, and produced well, the story while nothing ground breaking I felt was handled really good with Diana having a dilemma and Maxwell Lord rising to power. Sure there were off things, like how the invisible jet comes into play, Cheetah is really only in the film in the last 20 odd minutes, we don't get precise origins on the stone. And yet, it was nothing film breaking. I loved we got the invisible jet, the effects on Cheetah were not Cats quality (thank the lord), I could buy the stone was magic so you don't have to explain it. I got to see Diana and Steve reunited though with a consequence, and I have no issue they brought Chris Pine back. He has great chemistry with Gal, and I truly loved to see them be in the same movie again, and the dilemma Diana has to face in order to save the world is a decent one! Kristen Wiig pulled off the villain thing, starting off very Michelle Pfeiffer from Batman Returns, but you see the change gradually and while Cheetah kind of did pop out of nowhere, it didn't hurt her performance and I liked how she played it. Seeing Pedro Pascal have the time of his life in this role, played to the fullest extent with every shred of energy and emotion present from beginning to end was wonderful, marvellous even. Gal Gadot shows off her emotional range very well, she kind of acts her heart out in an important scene, and I felt she proved once again why she got this role, and I just got a wee smile on my face when I heard her speak her native language. That was a nice thing to see, plus that absolutely lovely cameo at the end. That was beyond sweet. I am just so stumped to pick bad parts out of this movie. Hell there were moments that stuck out to me so much, and not every comic book movie can accomplish such a thing which is odd because I'm a dork for this stuff. The jet scene with the fireworks was beautiful, such an good color palette throughout the film really, but the visuals were dazzling yet kept the emotion in the foreground. The scene where Diana flies was outstanding, I felt just like how I did when I saw Clark fly for the first time in Man Of Steel, that was done so well! Just...what am I missing? Either I'm a drooling moron who has no concept of what a good movie is and every other person speaks undeniable truths, or everyone is talking out of their stupid assholes and I'm right. And I am not happy I am thinking like that. At all. That is not a good mental state to be in ever. Even the most positive, affirming, beyond happy ending this movie has, that I have ever seen in my entire life, could not raise my spirits. The film is practically a beacon of positivity and hope for the human race, that the world could become the greatest nightmare ever imagined if you don't be truthful and just make decisions that only service you and not others. Sure it was a bit on the nose with Diana almost flat out speaking to the camera, but that does not mean that her words should mean less. I am just fuming, in virtual apathy for the world and it's inhabitants, and you know you wouldn't think Wonder Woman 1984 would be the film where I draw a line in the sand and marshall all the forces of darkness to descend hell upon my enemies and hound them to an assisted suicide, but here I am. I have no qualms burning bridges, even if those bridges have people on it. 3 stars, 7.5/10. If this horseshit keeps up I might just quit. Maybe even before the 1,000th review. I'm done.

A Wrinkle In Time

Well it was better than I expected!

I don't know what I expected from this movie, but it wasn't half bad. The story while basic leads to some pretty cool visuals and quite touching emotional moments. The story centers around a girl named Meg and her brother Charles who after 4 years of losing their father, a genius scientist who experimented in dimensional shifts is discovered by 3 guardians of light who help the kids find their dad. First stop, visuals. Now I have to say I expected this to get far out man, like that bad LSD trip from Doctor Strange level of trippy-ness but they reigned back and made it much easier to follow while still showing off some fantastic effects. Visuals from the worlds to the wardrobe is 10/10 easy. Acting is also quite good, the kids actually feel like real kids and Charles is my favorite human character, my favorite I guess...meta-human is Ms. Whatsit played by Reese Witherspoon. Oh my God she was perfect, absolutely loved her. In fact all the Misses were very good, and the parents especially Chris Pine did put legit effort into their roles so it has to be applauded. Music though, kinda horrible. It's pop music, and the worst part is it feels so shoehorned in and barely lasts a minute so why have it? With a movie that deals with interdimensional travel to alien planets, you would expect the soundtrack to be very orchestral with a lot of electronic components thrown in, and the absolute slap in the face is they do it! Right before the movie ends. Are you dead sucking ferious right now? No. Fail. Moving on, it's a fun and entertaining family movie, it has enough spectacle and color to hold kids interests and the story makes them want to stick around, so it can be a fun family night out for those of you with youngins, but for people like me, it's a decent movie that is worth seeing once but I know this movie can capture the imaginations of children and honestly, isn't that what Disney is great at? So a good way to end the week, but God help me next week. Why do I do this to myself? Ugh, next week I'm doing Tomb Raider. All of them. Oh hello alcohol, I missed you!

In Retrospect: Wonder Woman

On second viewing, yeah still very awesome.

At last! A film I desperately needed to see again and yes, it is just as great as it was the first time! You know what I noticed this time around? The film is very sweet and loving, I mean we are dealing with Wonder Woman here: Compassion, respect, dignity, strength, intelligence, and love, so it makes sense that this would be the message of the story, love triumphs over all and that doing what you believe can have great reprocussions on the world. Another thing I noticed is how well the movie does justice to the character of Diana Prince, I mean really when you get right down to it it is not possible to screw up Wonder Woman. Why is that though? I'm not sure, she's a very popular comic book character, potrayed before by Lynda Carter and that was in the 70s, so even then she was popular and loved. So I obviously can not say that she's not as famous or loved as Superman or Batman because that's a lie, but those characters have had their missteps, but not with Wonder Woman. Why? No idea, but I'm obviously looking forward to seeing her in Justice League and sequel talk has risen, so I expect great things in the future. If people ever had a problem with the new DC cinematic universe, they shut up real quick when this movie hit. And that's all they have to do really, tell a good story while doing justice to the character with love and admiration for their history and standing in pop culture. Bam! You done good DC, this is why you're my favorite. I know it can succeed, just like Universal's Dark Universe with all the classic monsters, true The Mummy wasn't a smash hit but they have until 2019 to work the kinks out for The Bride Of Frankenstein so I'm optimistic for it. I have great faith in the future of movies, and I hope you share in it with me.

Wonder Woman (2017)

Well that movies was cool.

Again, I reiterate, 75 YEARS for Wonder Woman to have a movie?! That's criminal! This film is really damn good, it's not perfect, it's really damn good! Plot wise, not much has changed since the animated venture except if you swap modern day for 1915, Diana fights the germans instead of demons, and it ties in to the DC movie universe. Diana lives with the Amazons, until our favorite pilot Steve Trevor crashes and informs Diana and the Amazons of a war which seems to be the design of Ares, which sets Diana off to stop the war and kick his ass. There is much ass kicking in this movie. Action is spectacular, thankfully the comedy is not as obtrusive as I dreaded, the story is a fine origin story for Diana, but what really came out of left field and wow'ed me was surprisingly the emotion. If not for the whole Amazon and Ares thing, this could be a World War 1 movie. They do not shy away from the grisly nature of that war, soldiers losing limbs, towns raided, women and children killed, and the infamous trench warfare. In fact, name one single World War 1 movie. Not World War 2, but World War 1. I can't name a friggin' one....besides this one. This movie really hammers that for lack of a better word, sorrow and distress that you see in war. It feels a little too real. And I think they chose wisely placing this in 1915 and not in say 1944. I know we want Wonder Woman to punch nazis but trust me the meaning of Diana and her character, and what she represents is and would be leaps and bounds better than if the story was set in World War 2. She is a hero, she acknowledges humans are not all good but some are and that is what you should focus on. People always focus on negative things rather than the positive it seems, except for Diana. Which is why she is an excellent example of a hero. Not just a female hero, even though that should be commended considering her creation and history, but a hero to aspire to be like. Diana would never hurt anyone innocent, she is kind, she is decent, she doesn't think herself better than anybody, and refuses to continue to let bad things happen in the world. And granted, I have not read many Wonder Woman solo stories, but I know deep down I desperately need to. There's no doubt Wonder Woman is without a doubt in the top 3 of my DC heroes, and I hope she becomes a favorite of many, many more people.

Star Trek Beyond

Time for some new movies. How does this movie hold up on Star Trek's 50th anniversary? Well....

It did a very good job, I highly enjoyed the movie and felt it was an appropriate celebration of Star Trek. The plot takes place two and a half years after the Enterprise crew encountered Khan, as they explore the deep reaches of space. The ship is brutally attacked, destroying the entire ship and stranding the crew on a hostile alien planet as they desperately try to escape. Good plot with some interesting new characters, but of course the crew is the best part. Nothing much is new in terms of character development, with one exception but we will touch base on that later. The comedy is still there but toned down from previous films, the sets are...unbelievable, these are the best designed sets of the new Star Trek movies with extensive levels and amazing attention to detail, the special effects are still kick ass adding new and yet older ships and some original ideas. And has without a doubt the most ludicrous, most badass fight scene ever near the end! The movie has plenty of nods to past Star Trek movies and television shows, some only the most hardcore Trekkies will spot, I myself only caught a handful. From a ship straight out of Star Trek Enterprise to the poster itself being a throwback to Star Trek The Motion Picture, there is tons to notice. And of course, it is almost impossible to not talk about how we lost two beloved members of the Enterprise, Leonard Nimoy sadly passed away before filming and the movie takes the time to pay respect to the one and only Mr. Spock with a beautiful and heartfelt scene at the end, and we tragically lost Anton Yelchin in a car accident after filming ended, it was a true shock and I am still very sad that he is gone, Star Trek will never be the same without these two wonderful actors. I want to thank all of you who joined me tonight, and as always till next time live long and prosper.

Join me tomorrow as we travel through the looking glass. You are invited.

Star Trek Into Darkness

Two words why this movie is better than the first: Benedict Cumberbatch.

If you liked the first new Star Trek movie, you will love this one. It seriously fixed every damn problem I had with the last movie and made everything else better. So the story of Star Trek Into Darkness has Kirk and crew on a manhunt for a fugitive who has attacked the Starfleet headquarters. And it kinda sorta may have several parallels to the greatest Star Trek movie ever, Wrath Of Khan. Which only makes it better. I mean the writing in Wrath Of Khan was practically Shakespearean with it's storytelling of death, revenge, old age, and the reclaiming of one's youth and this movie really does a good job with those elements in their own way. But the man who steals the show is Benedict Cumberbatch who is a genius badass, who really is the greatest threat the Enterprise crew has ever faced, and he is awesome! I would almost recommend this movie solely for Benedicts performance but there is so much more than that. The action is fantastic, the acting is amazing, the special effects are still spectacular, the dialogue is still very good, we see more evolution of the characters and that is always a good thing, and we just get to see more of the Star Trek universe so this movie is well worth your time and money, and if you have seen Wrath Of Khan you will enjoy it a little more. And honestly, I cannot wait for the next Star Trek movie. I hear it has Idris Elba in it which makes me ecstatic, and it still has everyone on board with it so you better believe I will be seeing that in theatres. Hopefully I might be able to go to the theatre tomorrow and review Mr. Holmes, so fingers crossed!

Star Trek (2009)

Who says you can only be a fan of either Star Wars or Star Trek? This is 2015, we can be both!

I wanted to review something fairly recent and I highly enjoyed both new Star Trek movies so I couldn't say no. So this new reboot of the Star Trek franchise is very, very familiar and yet very different from the Original Series. The story does involve time travel and the consequences it has on the Star Trek universe we all know of, and I mean friggin' consequences. Deaths, destruction of worlds, among many other things really help the story and most importantly of all, the characters. It gives you an opportunity to view these classic and iconic characters in a brand new way and the film is immensely applauded for that, and I'll be damned if I can think of anybody else that could have played this cast of characters better than who they chose. The casting choices were chosen very wisely, and really if they decided to make a reboot of the television series with these actors I would tune in every week. Hell that would be really cool, because we haven't had a Star Trek series since Star Trek Enterprise and that was in 2001 so I would be all for that! I actually have a few gripes with the movie but it's nitpicking at best, the ridiculous lens flares in this movie...I just don't get it. Why is it there? Why make everything flashy when there is no reason for it? But when the starships are battling each other it really works but everywhere else no. I love the exterior design of the Enterprise, it is faithful to the show but still looks incredibly advanced, but the interior is what I take issue with because every damn thing in that ship almost is sterile white. Where is all the color? You remember the Original Series? There was color in every part of that ship, and not just a little I mean a lot! It was just so much more visually appealing back in 1966. It still does that thing where it zooms in that I ranted about in Man Of Steel but it only happens twice and once it's just to show how massive a scene is, so it really isn't such a bother this time around. But there is so much more good stuff on top of the bad thankfully. The casting is perfect, the cinematogrophy is excellent, the music is sweeping, the dialogue is fun, the special effects are so outstanding it was nominated for an Oscar, and the entire movie focuses on Kirk and Spock and that is what people like. If you are not a big science fiction fan or even a Star Trek fan I would still recommend you to see this movie because it really is a lot of fun and you will get your money's worth out of it. And you better believe we will look at the sequel that is even better than this one tomorrow. Until next time, live long and prosper.