Morbius

Guys it really isn't as bad as people make it out.

Coming from an individual who isn't a big Marvel fan, knows nothing about Michael Morbius, and walked in with nothing but an open mind, I thought it was decent. I thought it would be more supernatural how he gained his vampiric powers with him going to some tropical forest and finding something that was best left alone, typical silver age origin story, but I like the scientific reasoning behind it even if it does still lead to superhuman abilities. It gets a little disjointed with the flashbacks but after that it works fairly well. Just telling this story of how a dying man gains these abilities and is trying to make sense of it all while trying not to take human lives to sustain his own is a good story and it's handled well. I thought Jared Leto did fine work, he has a leading man prescence, can be funny, nails the dilemma aspect of his character, and fits dead center in a morally gray superhero light. Of course I have to love Matt Smith, even though I don't like seeing him in an antagonistic role, and it is very basically written but the friendship dynamic clicked for me and it was believable. And yes I did catch that Doctor Who reference you cheeky bastards. Adria Arjona was bugging me the hell out cause I was like, I know you! But where?? She was my witch crush in Good Omens, and the romance aspect felt very sudden and so was her ending yet I still thought she gave a good performance. Also props to making two investigating agents not be blithering morons and mostly useless, thank you for that writers. I very much digged the hell out of the visuals and makeup, properly making Jared and Matt look deathly ill and when the vampiric stuff kicked in I was like, wow that's such an interesting effect. With the flight having trails of colors, the echolocation having a sort of vibrating water effect, and I like they didn't chicken out and show some blood. It isn't gory as hell, but you do see it. Apparently this takes place in the same world as both Venom movies, and I'm not even attempting to connect all the Marvel movies. Sure, fine, whatever, go for it. Why not have them all mix and meld so you can see Michael Keaton as Vulture? It's neat. So it was a decent okay movie, nowhere near a 4.8 on IMDB. I give it 2.5 stars, 7/10.

Life (2017)

That's a great poster by the way. A hand on the face part of a space suit, even though that is impossible. Do you know how space suits are put on? Why not just a hand on the glass of say, an airlock? That does a much better job and makes sense at least. Alright sorry, brief tangent, moving on.

Life, a new science fiction movie dealing with an alien parasite brought aboard the International Space Station, as it breaks loose, runs amok, and my God this movie is boring! Hmmm....where have I seen this before?? An alien brought aboard a ship, that attacks the crew, grows everytime it kills somebody, and has a distinct weakness in the form of fire and electricity. Oh yeah, The Thing From Another World and Alien! Jesus Christ. It does nothing, it doesn't deliver anything new, the characters couldn't be more static and two dimensional if they tried and in fact they are supremely idiotic, the alien doesn't even have a slightly interesting design, and I'm not sure if just my anger or aggravation caused this but I kept on seeing major clashing facts in this movie. Like is the alien attracted to oxygen or light? I heard both so what is it? Is it over there in one section or another? This movie defies all logic on being created. What was the point? And don't you start that, "It could be the Symbiote from Spiderman" bullshit, whoever actually thought that was true is somehow MORE idiotic than the people who say Star Wars Episode VIII is going to be just like The Empire Strikes Back. Cut me a freaking break. What a waste of time. And you know what pisses me off? Well actually two things piss me off, the ending which is unnecessarily dark but also this was not the movie I was originally going to review. I wanted to see Going In Style, but complications arose, I needed a new movie that was still in theaters, so I chose this one. Dear sweet merciful celestial beings, why did I choose this?! God....bless it. Don't watch it. Don't buy it. Don't rent it. Don't even watch it when it hits cable. It is worthless, and you should spend your time watching better sci-fi movies. Like Alien or either of The Thing movies and not that piece of garbage that's a prequel that came out in 2011 or whatever. I am fed up now. Time to cleanse the palette. Now where's that vodka?