Jurassic Park

I can't even believe it! You know, it only took 3 years, over 350+ reviews, and only now have we got to Jurassic Park. Most people ask, why do they always remake or make sequels to classic films? The answer to that question is so that I can finally talk about Predator before the new Predator movie comes out.

So, because it's fun to talk about and to enlighten the 5 of you who have lived under a rock since 1993, how is Jurassic Park? Quite good I would say. Because you know it only ushered in a new age of special effects, and showed Spielberg could still bring blockbuster dollars and serious film material even 20 years after he got famous. But beyond the spectacular special effects, if you really just take a few steps back or more like a Superman leap backwards and watch this movie as if it were your first time you notice a lot. They do an incredible job with the dinosaurs, not only with the special effects but how they use them. You never see a dinosaur unless it is absolutely necessary, the first scene you see trees giving way, splitting apart, and you think oh shit here it comes. But it's a container that holds a dinosaur. And you get hints, an eye, this guy being dragged in the cage, shrieking and snarling sounds. That's really it. It makes you wonder what on earth that thing was! You didn't know first time, no way no how, even if you read the book. So there is lots of buildup throughout the film even after you see the dinosaurs, the moving through the grass leading to the Triceratops, the booming of the footsteps of a T-Rex, the feeding of a cow to a paddock of Velociraptors, it takes it's time which makes the wonder of these creatures unbelievable. Spielberg was on his high game, like ridiculously high game in this movie. True there are some kind of dumb things in this movie, but it does such a good job stringing you along you never notice until you dive deep in the analysis, and for what faults it does have it has some scenes that make you forget the stupid things. Who cares if they sent Samuel L. Jackson alone to turn a fusebox on when dinosaurs are running amok, when you get the perfection of the T-Rex scene. Both of them. You can forgive a lot because the craft, and execution, and little moments make this a great movie. And another thing I noticed is, there are a lot of wonderful little character moments, you need to look for them though but they are there on the screen. Like when Lex trips and Alan catches her, she holds his hand despite the fact he wants to let go cause he's not a fan of kids. Or seriously probably the best bit of acting in the whole movie, when they watch the cow being fed to the Raptors that look that Hammond gives to Alan while he watches is seriously the most intriguing and yet almost the most terrifying part of the movie. I mean obviously the guy needs to be some flavor of crazy to make dinosaurs, but God dang he seems almost deranged in that scene. I love the acting in this movie! Sam Neil is a wonderful lead, Laura Dern is just awesome in general, Jeff Goldblum is correct in every statement in this movie and who doesn't love Ian Malcolm I ask you, and Richard Attenborough like I said is the most interesting character in the whole film. There's tons of great stuff in this movie, some more noticeable than others, but still worth repeated viewings for all your life. PS. Those Velociraptors could be the most terrifying thing I have ever witnessed in film.

You know what really surprised me? Steven Spielberg came back to direct The Lost World, all these years I swore it was a different director. I'm extremely curious to see it again after so many years, but we will wait for that until tomorrow.

2nd Viewing: Blade Runner

Really it's more my 3rd viewing. I watched both the theatrical and final cut today so I could compare notes correctly.

And you know what? I may not fully get it, but this is a really damn good movie now that I saw it again! I highly enjoyed it, and wasn't just witness to the story and didn't feel much. I don't know the deeper meaning of the movie, probably never will, but it was a better experience this time. Cinematography and visuals are stunning and breathtaking, you can see the craftsmanship in everything, and I love the world it builds. Characters are interesting and memorable, especially Roy played to beyond perfection by Rutger Hauer, seriously the man needs an Oscar, he knows exactly what he needs to potray and how to do it. Decker is a great protagonist, and the story flows very nicely as he hunts these replicants down. I think it worked greatly in my favor to watch both versions, and I can safely say the final cut is vastly superior. What shocked me was the narraration was not that excessive in the theatrical cut, it cropped up...maybe 5 times in 2 hours of film, so it never felt overbearing. The final cut has so much better editing, framing, visual richness, and a more coherent story. I really enjoyed this movie, and no doubt will buy it soon. The immersion it sets, I think, is why it is so good. It sets up the technology, the characters, history of said characters, and a wonderful atmosphere. I can stare at those backgrounds for hours, they are so finely detailed and for paintings the depth is incredible. Blade Runner is a heavily visual film, no doubt, but the story it tells is interesting and engaging enough so that it can't just be considered eye candy. I will be seeing it more times in the future, and I fully agree with Harrison Ford and his views on the film, so the final cut is the version you should go for. But for curiosity's sake, if you want to, track down the theatrical cut. It's not often in life you can say the same movie can be viewed literally very differently. So I am very happy to have seen it again, we will touch on Blade Runner 2049 tomorrow, so until then my friends.

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

I daresay this movie is significantly better than the first.

So Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes takes place, I think 3 years after the first movie. Mankind has been whittled down to almost nothing, the apes have built a civilization for themselves, but all is not well. A small human cell is planning to take out Csesar, and even there is dissent in Caesar's world. I mean the world is a post apocalyptic wasteland, no power, limited supplies, it's a very grim time for the humans. But not all hope is lost, a family has been seeking peace talks with Caesar in an attempt to you know, not start a war. But if the title of the next movie tells you anything....yeah, it didn't work. There is a lot of internal struggle between opposing factions in this movie, and surprisingly you genuinely want the apes to win. I mean the humans are (mostly) asses, and yeah not all the apes are goody two shoes either, but you see what an honorable leader Caesar is so I have no problem saying the apes rock! It's a lot more drama filled movie with great action scenes, more in depth character development, and it's just a superior film to the first. I actually do not have predictions for the next movie, none at all. I am going in totally blind tomorrow, and I am excited as hell!

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

A solid entry to the beginning of a trilogy.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes is surprisingly a great movie. You know, this is like the one film franchise not many people have seen nor know much about. I mean people have seen the original movie, but beyond that not much. And there's what? 5 or 6 sequels to the original Charlton Heston movie? No one has seen them. So it was kind of a gamble to do a prequel to Planet Of The Apes. And I think it paid off in aces. So the movie has James Franco as a scientist (just go with it) developing a cure for Alzheimers, and tests it on apes which makes them highly intelligent. An ape gives birth and sadly is killed, while her son now born with an advanced intelligence due to the medication is adopted and raised by Franco and named Caesar. Through the years he becomes more intelligent, even able to do sign language but sadly he has to be given to an ape sanctuary, and then Malfoy turns up. Yeah I know his name is real name is Tom but come on, he's Malfoy and he is a diiiick in this movie. Yeah, he abuses Caesar but he escapes, finds the smart juice, pumps the apes full of it, and we got ourselves a revolution. Now people might be saying, well how on earth do the apes win? We have guns, and the military, but the film actually does have a reason. I really like this movie, though action is sparing if barely existent it's awesome, it's more about the journey and character of Caesar than anything else, and I firmly believe Andy Serkis deserves awards for his potrayal as Caesar. Dude seriously is what makes this movie amazing. Bravo sir! But...he's not my favorite ape. That honor goes to Maurice the orangutan. Why? Well, he's the smartest ape. Yeah, smarter than Caesar. He already knew sign language long before he met Caesar, then he got the smart juice and became even more intelligent, I'd almost say Gorilla Grodd intelligent. So yeah, he's my favorite. I know this is an odd thing but really this movie is pretty good, like you should totally rent it and watch it. I don't even know who this movie's target audience is! But you should go see it! So tomorrow we pick up on the next movie.

Alien (1979)

Yeah, yeah I know! It's not October, but it had to have happened some time. So here we go.

Alien, classic science fiction movie directed by Ridley Scott. Need I say more? Well just for the sake of this review, let's talk about it. It's still really good! Despite being made almost 40 YEARS AGO, let that sink in for a minute, it still holds up damn near perfect. The sets are magnificent, the atmosphere and horror is memorable, the characters all have their time to develop, the design for the alien is perfect, and Ridley Scott just killed it in this movie. I still say this is my favorite movie of his! So, story time, alright so the movie centers around this mining crew, and they recieve a distress signal on an uninhabited planet, they investigate and find a derelict spaceship that has been crashed on the surface for centuries. While investigating one of the crew finds these eggs that in no way resemble a vagina when they open and in the name of science he puts his face in it! This is wrong. So he gets this thing stuck on his face which then implanted an egg down his throat (Gross.) and he gets brought on board. What follows, is quite possibly the most disturbing thing I have ever watched on film, when an alien bursts out of a man's chest which takes about 3 minutes to occur to drag this horror out to near unbearable levels. Now we got an alien loose on the ship. Don't you hate it when that happens? So they got to track it down, which will no doubt end with one character surviving to kill the alien. A tiny bit slasher movie, but hey I dig that stuff! The cast is quite good, Sigourney Weaver gets to be a badass, Ian Holm is....enigmatic to me even to this day, and special thanks to John Hurt for quite literally birthing this series. He deserves special recognition for his sacrifice. The music I have to say is not what you would expect, it's entirely symphonic but still lays on the dread when stuff starts going down. A huge part of this movie is it's design, most of which created by H.R. Giger giving the spaceship a claustrophobic feel coupled together with Amiga computers, obviously showing the time of when the movie was made but it doesn't date the film at all. Major props to that. And then we have the alien spacecraft that has this whole living organism look to it, and it looks jaw droppingly awesome. So highly detailed, and vast in scale. 11/10 from me. But we have at least one more movie to review before Alien Covenant, so join me tomorrow for the action side of the Alien franchise.

Also, highly recommend you watch the trailer for this movie. Whether you've seen the movie or not, watch it. Just maybe not in a dark room, cause I did that and....yeah, I was paranoid for the next 3 hours.

Life (2017)

That's a great poster by the way. A hand on the face part of a space suit, even though that is impossible. Do you know how space suits are put on? Why not just a hand on the glass of say, an airlock? That does a much better job and makes sense at least. Alright sorry, brief tangent, moving on.

Life, a new science fiction movie dealing with an alien parasite brought aboard the International Space Station, as it breaks loose, runs amok, and my God this movie is boring! Hmmm....where have I seen this before?? An alien brought aboard a ship, that attacks the crew, grows everytime it kills somebody, and has a distinct weakness in the form of fire and electricity. Oh yeah, The Thing From Another World and Alien! Jesus Christ. It does nothing, it doesn't deliver anything new, the characters couldn't be more static and two dimensional if they tried and in fact they are supremely idiotic, the alien doesn't even have a slightly interesting design, and I'm not sure if just my anger or aggravation caused this but I kept on seeing major clashing facts in this movie. Like is the alien attracted to oxygen or light? I heard both so what is it? Is it over there in one section or another? This movie defies all logic on being created. What was the point? And don't you start that, "It could be the Symbiote from Spiderman" bullshit, whoever actually thought that was true is somehow MORE idiotic than the people who say Star Wars Episode VIII is going to be just like The Empire Strikes Back. Cut me a freaking break. What a waste of time. And you know what pisses me off? Well actually two things piss me off, the ending which is unnecessarily dark but also this was not the movie I was originally going to review. I wanted to see Going In Style, but complications arose, I needed a new movie that was still in theaters, so I chose this one. Dear sweet merciful celestial beings, why did I choose this?! God....bless it. Don't watch it. Don't buy it. Don't rent it. Don't even watch it when it hits cable. It is worthless, and you should spend your time watching better sci-fi movies. Like Alien or either of The Thing movies and not that piece of garbage that's a prequel that came out in 2011 or whatever. I am fed up now. Time to cleanse the palette. Now where's that vodka?

Ghost In The Shell (1995)

Now, shall we begin?

Ghost In The Shell, one of the breakthrough movies from Japan that hit America in a big way follows a government branch titled Section 9 that help solve cyber crimes among other things, led by Major Kusanagi in the year 2029, where humanity has augmented itself with cybernetic enhancements which range from slight brain augmentation, to full cybernetic bodies with only a human brain that controls it. A pretty spectacular vision of the future don't you think? But all is not well, a mysterious hacker known only as the Puppet Master, has been hacking into people's cybernetic bodies to do various high stakes crime so Section 9 is brought in to stop him. What really strikes me about the movie is not it's surreal visuals, haunting music, outstanding animation, or quite frankly brilliant character potrayal of cyborgs but this great sensation of disconnect. This world filled with augmented cybernetic lifeforms, has a surprising dark and chilling look and feel to it all, you can almost tangibly feel this massive disconnect between you and the characters in the movie. And there are many examples of this. The movie raises the question, "What is huamnity? What makes a human, human?" and that alone makes for a quiet, uncomfortable feel to the whole film, and you do think about it. Needless to say this is a very cerebral movie, and it can get under your skin a little bit. It does sort of challenge the line between man and machine, what differentiates us from them? And in a world where the dividing line has become so muddled, what the hell does make a human? Science and philosophy does not fully have an answer, is it memories? Is it because we have a conscious? I think therefore I am? It's really quite brilliant how unapologetic this movie goes into asking these questions. That alone makes it a great film for adults, but then you add every other thing done so well in the movie that it rises above and beyond what you would expect. I say, go find this movie, rent it, buy it, whatever. Delve into the deeper, darker parts of your mind and see what you become when the credits start to roll.

Power Rangers (2017)

Alright, that was a good movie!

Power Rangers are back and I love it. The movie was a lot of fun, had good effects, and yeah it had faults, more nitpicky than major but we'll get to that. Okay positives, the kids are great. I actually love how they made them these sort of bad kids, like they are not infallible teenagers who always do the right thing because they're such goody two shoes, they have problems, Jason screwed his scholarship by letting pranks get out of hand, Billy lost his dad and is on the autistic spectrum, Kimberley did some bad things like knocking this guy's teeth out and leaking a solicit picture of one of her classmates, Zack is taking care of his terminally ill mom, and Trinni is a distant closed off kid. And that's the beauty of it, they are not these perfect little kids, they have issues and act like, oh I don't know TEENAGERS! Also I love the fact that they can't fully fight, when they morph they are very competent fighters but martial artists they are not. But truth be told, Billy is my favorite, both in the show and this movie, he is Billy Badass to me. The Zords looked great, classic Zords with updated technology. Bryan Cranston was pretty good as Zordon, and he always does good performances in supporting roles which makes me wonder how amazing he would be in a lead role (No, I have not watched Breaking Bad yet!). But not everything went smoothly. Okay, Elizabeth Banks you were not a bad Rita but you could not top the original, I'm happy you had fun with it and gave her a good menacing character with a history but didn't work for me all that much. The Power Coins were...useless. Now for those of you who are new, Power Coins are what allows the teens to morph into the Power Rangers, that is how their technology works. In this movie they do nothing! They never use them, oh sure they find them and that automatically makes them Rangers material but they replace it with this nonsense, "You must be at one with each other in order to morph." so they never really morph until the end. Which doesn't make any sense because they sell the Morphers and the Power Coins toys in store, so I fully expected them to use their Morphers. They never did! That sucks. Also, criminal underuse of the theme. You know the theme. They use it once, when all the Zords roll out and it is magnificent, I waited until the end of the credits to hear the theme in it's entireity. Never did it happen. The music is good though, my favorate pieces is when they all finally morph, it sounds very Tron Legacy, it's awesome! And for fans or hardcore fans of the show, there are easter eggs and little nods, it's great fun and make me geek out in the theater. They do set up a bit of sequel bait, nothing major like (I wish) Lord Zedd would come down and start wrecking stuff, but it makes me excited at the prospect of a future film. Also quite an ingenious decision to have the after credit scene a little after the credits begin, since kids don't have the patcience to wait until after all the credits have rolled, so nice touch guys. Oh, and did you know the original producer of the television show, Haim Saban helped produce this movie? Awesome! I would recommend this movie, especially to fans, and maybe others who want a fun movie that might interest you in a global phenomenon over 20 years old and still going. The majority of the people in that theater were little kids, like before they even reached 12 years old, the fans are still there for the Power Rangers, generation after generation. And you know what? I want to watch the show all the way through now. So when I buy the movie when it hits video, I can have more fun with it. Well that's it for today but tomorrow, something big is coming.

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers

I have to admit this is the first time I've seen this movie, and I'm not disappointed.

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, classic science fiction movie, terrific at building a sense of paranoia, and a truly terrifying premise. The plot centers around a doctor who returns to his hometown, and slowly begins noticing claims of people who say their relatives and neighbors are not themselves of late. As the mystery unravels, we are with our hero every step of the way, you could almost say this has severe roots in film noir which makes the movie that much more special. The movie excels beyond anything at how it builds the mood, it is a slow burn of paranoia and fear culminating in a fever rush of a climax that really leaves you uneasy. It took a grand total of maybe three minutes before I started getting paranoid about everyone, good job movie you achieved an effect in mere minutes that others could not achieve in hours. Credit where credit is due, I'm actually happy this movie is in black and white it just adds a more foreboding atmosphere than if it was just in color. It really does add a more creepy feel to the whole thing. And you know what? This is a scary movie, just the premise is terrifying. You return to your old hometown, as you meet with old friends and family you hear perplexing things, that the people in your town are not real people, and as time goes on the more you find that it's all true, until you're the only one left in a town ruled by monsters. That is horror if I have ever heard of it. You really don't get much scarier than that. Excellent horror movie, great science fiction movie, certainly made me look twice at the people I know. Goodnight everybody.

One more sci-fi movie for the week, possibly the greatest brain movie ever made that surprisingly does not have the word 'brain' in the title. Until tomorrow.

The Iron Giant

Yeah, I was in the mood for a robot week.

You want to talk about classic cult animation movies, you need to look no further than The Iron Giant. Now this was a very different kind of movie and was saw by very few when it first came out, but you ask anybody and they will gladly tell you it is an amazing movie. And it really is. It centers around a young boy who soon finds and befriends a robot from outer space. Think E.T. but with a giant cool robot. So yeah way better than E.T. without a doubt. The Iron Giant himself is very child like, learning new things about the world including life and death. Now how many kids movies do they touch upon the fact that death is sadly a thing in our world? And I don't mean like hearing or seeing it like with Bambi's mom or Simba's dad but talking about it. That's a big deal and they do it amazingly well. The Iron Giant even idolizes superheroes like a child and wants to be like Superman. You can officialy get off this planet if you don't think that is even slightly cute or cool! If I ever did a top 10 list of animated family films this would very easily be in the top 5, just the story and the characters are what makes it so great and it really does deserve to be watched by many more people. I knew even when I was little this was not your average cartoon movie. And it really isn't, it grows beyond that into a league of it's own. You want a movie to emotionally move you and to give you an unforgettable experience, watch The Iron Giant. I double dare you to not like this movie! It cannot be done! Also bit of trivia, Vin Diesel voices The Iron Giant. I cannot begin to make that up. Enjoy!

The Force Awakens

This movie wrecked me. Emotionally, mentally, almost physically. I want more.

I just saw a new Star Wars movie!!! I am the luckiest fan ever because I was born at the right time. I was 3 when I became a Star Wars fan, when I was 4 The Phantom Menace came out and it ended with Revenge Of The Sith when I was 10. I am now 20 and new Star Wars movies are being made! So how did this brand new chapter hold up? It was original and yet new. It took elements from A New Hope but added it's own spin to it, and that is what this movie is, it is it's own recognizable but new Star Wars movie that is actually very unpredictable in it's characters and actions and thank God for it. This movie took me for twists and turns I can tell you that but I could still see what was coming up. I knew how this movie was going to end but I still loved it! I do not give a shit if you are a Star Wars fan or not you have to go see this movie. I promise it's really good!

The Phantom Menace

You know...I used to like this movie as a kid. I thought it was a good Star Wars movie. Now...well let's talk about it, shall we?



I dreaded watching this movie. I haven't seen this movie in 10 years, I remember this movie well. I honestly don't know what to think about it, it's just okay. There's bad stuff in it, but there's also good stuff. Very few good stuff but good stuff nevertheless. So what's the story? Here we go....okay, so a Trade Federation has set up a blockade around the planet of Naboo and the senate of the Galactic Republic has sent two Jedi knights, Obi-Wan Kenobi played by Ewan McGregor , and Qui-Gon Jinn played by Liam Neeson, and they are sent to investigate. They soon uncover a plan that will take over the entire planet all because of, I have no idea. I don't think they give a reason that actually makes sense in this movie, I think because it has something to do with the Trade Federation and taxation, you know the stuff you REALLY want to hear in a Star Wars movie! But moving on. Okay so they meet up with Queen Amidala played by Natalie Portman and they get off the planet, but their ship gets damaged so they have to land on Tatooine to find new parts. They meet a slave by the name of Anakin Skywalker played by Jake Lloyd, who helps them get the parts they need and helps them fix the ship. The Jedi knights are astonished by how strong he is in the Force and believes he is part of a prophecy that tells of a Chosen One that will bring balance to the Force and destroy the Sith. So they take him to the Jedi Temple on the planet Coruscant to begin his Jedi training, and then we briefly touch on the political side of Star Wars...yay. Honestly it's not that bad it's only one or two scenes, but you don't care. And I know the reason why they put it in the movie, to establish how the Republic turned into the Empire, but they delve more into that in the sequels. So the Queen says, Naboo's my planet and we are taking it back, so they head back over to Naboo to capture the leader of the Trade Federation and liberate the planet. This is really just the cliff notes version of the film, I'm sorry I just don't want to talk about it that much, I don't like it and I really don't want to rant that much either. So for the sake of this review, let's talk about the good things which aren't that many. This is really just kind of a forgettable Star Wars movie and that breaks my heart, but it's true. So here are the good points, the cast for the most part was chosen very wisely. Liam Neeson is a wise mentor to young Obi-Wan, Ewan McGregor is a very, very good Obi-Wan. Ian McDiarmid is still great as always, but they don't give him much to work with sadly, Natalie Portman does a fairly good job as the Queen. Ray Park is a total bad ass as Darth Maul, and oh yeah I love Darth Maul in this movie! He's the saving grace in this dreary wreck, the final lightsaber duel is nothing like you have ever seen before in Star Wars and it is amazing! The fight choreography is superb, Ray Park gives a very impressive show of his stunt work talents, and it's just a great fight! The music by John Williams is still great, the special effects although over 15 years old look pretty damn good and still hold up surprisingly, but it's not all perfect. It's a mixed bag, I can only recommend it if you really are interested in the story taking place almost twenty years before the first Star Wars movie, and you just have more of an open mind than most other people. But if you don't, you're not missing much so you can skip it.


Tune in tomorrow when we talk about Attack Of The Clones, which I'm also not all too excited for.

Return Of The Jedi

Well, here it is. The last of the original Star Wars trilogy. After this we get to look at the prequels...yeah, not really looking forward to that for the most part, but anyway Return Of The Jedi!




So Return Of The Jedi is set a few months after the events of the last movie. The Empire has constructed a new Death Star much more powerful than the first, Luke has finished his Jedi training, and Han Solo is still trapped in carbonite. So first things first, Luke has to go rescue his friend from the clutches of the grotesque Jabba The Hutt on his home planet Tatooine. Now a few things to cover before we carry on with the story, now in past movies we keep hearing about this Jabba The Hutt and that he's bad news, but they don't really tell you what he looks like so you're mind is thinking of all kinds of things of how he looks and he's pretty gross basically a giant slug. Just, eck! Second, Luke Skywalker is a Jedi now. He is so different from when we saw him in The Empire Strikes Back, he's no longer whining about his training, he has complete faith in himself and his abilities, and he has mastered the Force because before he like really had to concentrate to use the Force, now it's instantaneous! Oh, and he's got a brand new cool lightsaber! So back to the story, they save Han and Luke debarks back to the Dagobah system one last time to finish his training. And sadly, master Yoda is dying of old age and reveals to Luke several things, he has to confront Vader to truly become a Jedi, after Yoda dies Luke is the only Jedi left in the galaxy, and there is another member of the Skywalker family. And yes, I do get misty-eyed when Yoda dies, it's depressing. Meanwhile on the second Death Star, The Emperor himself, Darth Vader's master arrives to corrupt young Skywalker to the dark side. And The Emperor is just magnificent played to sinister perfection by Ian McDiarmid. If Darth Vader made me love villains, The Emperor makes me want to be them more than anything. Soon the Rebels learn of the new Death Star and have to of course, take it out. But there's a hitch, it has a shield surrounding it and the only way to deactivate the shield is to destroy the shield generator before their fleet arrives to begin their assault on the Death Star. And this is where our Rebel friends meet the Ewoks, and this is either the second most hated life form in Star Wars history next to Jar Jar Binks, or is the most cute and adorable thing ever introduced into Star Wars. I am shocked at how divided people are to these little teddy bear looking things, I thought they were cute and harmless even though they make a mockery of my beloved Empire. So anyway, Luke confronts Vader on Endor and Vader takes him to The Emperor. So now we have a three way battle in this film, the fight to take out the shield generator, the fight to take out the Death Star, and the fight to defeat Darth Vader and The Emperor. And all the fights are really well done, but of course the final duel between Luke and Vader is the showstopper, there is so much emotion in this fight, more so than I think in any Star Wars movie. True, the duel between Luke and Vader in Cloud City is the best of the original trilogy, but this has serious emotions charging this fight, I mean there is a point where Luke just snaps. He is coming at Vader with all of his resolve and all of his anger, and this is not one of those carefully choreographed fight scenes you see in the prequels, Luke is swinging his lightsaber like a bat just hitting everything and really catching Vader off guard to the point where he cuts Vader's right hand off to reveal he has a robot hand just like Luke. So he defeats Darth Vader and The Emperor is just taunting Luke to kill him and Luke just won't do that. So he throws his lightsaber down, saying he will never turn to the dark side and he is a Jedi like his father before him. So The Emperor decides if he will not join us he will die, and then he proceeds to shoot lightning out of his fingers!! The Jedi can go screw themselves for all I care, this was the final moment that made me fully embrace the Empire and the dark side! I'd love to see the Jedi try that. So The Emperor is just torturing Luke, surging his body with electricity as he is begging Darth Vader to save him, and this is a great moment. You see the camera zoom in on Darth Vader's face and you can tell he's really conflicted and he still has the mask on and everything. So he looks to Luke and back to his master, picks The Emperor up over his head and throws him over a railing into the reactor where he disintegrates. Meanwhile the Rebels destroy the shield generator and they send in the fighters to destroy the Death Star, so Luke has to get out of there and he takes Darth Vader with him, and he asks Luke to take his mask off because he is dying and he wants to see his son with his own eyes. I'm sorry! I spoiled the surprise, but it's very difficult to talk about this movie without giving that away! So Luke obeys his father and slowly takes his mask off to reveal the scarred face of Anakin Skywalker, who tells Luke he saved him and to leave him, but Luke refuses and watches his father die and escapes the Death Star before it is blown up. At the celebration on Endor, Luke creates a funeral pyre for his father and burns his body. Later he sees the spirits of Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Yoda watching over him.



This concludes the original Star Wars trilogy. Thank you so much for joining me for this and tomorrow we will review the movie that disappointed and enraged millions of Star Wars fans.

The Empire Strikes Back

You know, now that I have watched this movie again, I do have to agree with people when they say it's better than the original Star Wars.



I've even heard people call this movie a coming to age film, and I have never thought about it that way. But yes, The Empire Strikes Back is a superior film to the original Star Wars with no doubt about it. The stakes are raised higher than before, our heroes go through the darkest chapter of their story, and we get a revelation that shocked everyone in 1980 and still shocks people to this very day. So our story takes place six months after the end of Star Wars and the Empire is relentlessly hunting down the Rebels, because no one destroys the Death Star without turning a few heads and pissing off some people. The Rebels are hiding on a snow planet called Hoth, and the Empire is sending out probes throughout the galaxy and soon finds our heroes. They commence an attack which gives us the iconic battle of Hoth where the Imperial walkers are being fought by Snowspeeders, and it is a fantastic battle that gives us more vehicles that we haven't seen before and is quite intense at moments. So the Rebels are defeated and they have to retreat from the planet, but our main hero Luke has a vision of his old mentor Obi-Wan telling him he must travel to the Dagobah system to learn from the Jedi master Yoda. So Luke travels to Dagobah and starts learning more about the Force from his new master. Meanwhile Han Solo and his crew are being hunted down by the Empire and they eventually have to hide out on the planet of Bespin where they meet Lando Calrissian an old friend of Han Solo's played suavely by Billy Dee Williams. But the Empire soon finds them even there and captures them. Luke senses that his friends are in grave danger and leaves his training to save them, but before he even gets there Han Solo is frozen in carbonite and taken by a bounty hunter. When Luke finally arrives he has an incredible lightsaber duel with Darth Vader which results in Luke losing his right hand and learning some world shattering news. In my opinion this lightsaber duel is the greatest, probably of all the Star Wars movies, it makes the first lightsaber duel in the original Star Wars look like the most boring lightsaber duel in Star Wars history. One of my favorite parts of this fight is in the beginning, Vader treats Luke like he is no threat and single handedly fights Luke but near the end of the fight, Vader's breathing hard and he's really swinging at him and he's not one handing his lighsaber anymore because he knows Luke is a formidable opponent. There are tons of great moments in this movie, some even considered to be some of the greatest moments in cinema. The battle of Hoth is great, and the Imperial walkers are just such a huge threat and they move like machines because they were made with stop-motion. But another scene before that is also just awesome, so Luke is trapped in this cave and the only way he can get out is with his lighsaber, problem is it's just barely out of reach, so he closes his eyes and reaches out his hand and you just barely see that lightsaber just inch it's way towards his hands very slowly, which is awesome because in the first movie Luke really doesn't use the force until almost at the end. There's an unforgettable line of dialogue by Han Solo right before he gets frozen, because this is a big moment for the characters because they think this is the last time they will ever see him, so Chewbacca is freaking out throwing Stormtroopers left and right and Leia finally breaks and she says, "I love you.", to which Han Solo replies, "I know.". That is a badass, ladies and gentlemen. I'm not even going to touch the big secret in Empire Strikes Back for those of you who have not yet seen The Empire Strikes Back, but I will say this, when I first saw this movie when I was either 2 or 3 years old, I freaked a little bit. I've heard stories of people who saw this in the theater in 1980, so the third movie didn't even come out for another three years and people flipped and I can understand why!


So that is my review of The Empire Strikes Back, tune in tomorrow where we will finish the original trilogy, and then we can understand why for the most part the prequels were unnecessary and kinda pissed people off a bit.

Star Wars

It's Star Wars day! But that's not good enough for me, so we will be having a Star Wars week here, where everyday starting from today and ending Saturday I will be reviewing all the Star Wars movies!



So here it is, the one that started it all and my favorite movie of all time! What is there to say about Star Wars? It's one of the greatest movies ever made, it ushered in a new cultural phenomenon that has lasted to this very day, and it's groundbreaking special effects have paved the way for modern technology to flourish. There is too much to say about Star Wars, but we will focus today on the original 1977 version, no special edition version because Han does not shoot first, among other things. So Star Wars, if you've been living under a rock for almost 40 years is an epic sci-fi saga set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away centering around the journey of Luke Skywalker becoming a Jedi. We'll get to the story of the prequel movies soon. So why is this movie above all others my favorite movie of all time? Well it being the first movie I ever saw makes a huge impact, and it making me the happy geek I am today makes a huge difference. I shudder to think who the hell I would be if I never saw Star Wars at the age of 2 or 3. I am the biggest Star Wars fan you will ever meet. No seriously I can quote this whole movie from beginning to end...with sound effects and music included! I have seen it that many times! I love it so much, I have such a huge passion for it even after all these years, it's unbelievable. I love the story, it's concepts, it's ideas, it's technology, it's planets, everything! The characters are unforgettable, we have Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker who has this very simple life but is thrust into action led by a wise mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi played masterfully by Sir Alec Guiness,on their travels they meet a smuggler Han Solo played by Harrison Ford and his copilot Chewbacca played by Peter Mayhew, and are accompanied by two robots C-3PO played by Anthony Daniels and R2-D2 played by Kenny Baker who have to go save Princess Leia played by Carrie Fisher from the evil Galactic Empire headed by Darth Vader played epically by both David Prowse and James Earl Jones and the sinister Grand Moff Tarkin played beyond perfection by the incredible Peter Cushing. Seriously it is because of Darth Vader that I always wanted the villain to win in every movie when I was a kid, because the villains were way more interesting than the heroes, and made me the evil Sith Lord I am today. I could write a 300 page essay on Star Wars, but I will try and keep this short. The dialogue is so quotable, I think almost 100% of what I said when I was a little kid was a quote from Star Wars. The music is perfect, this is John Williams best score ever and it still gives me goosebumps and almost brings tears to my eyes. It's very difficult to describe the appeal of Star Wars for me,it's really just something you will have to experience for yourself if you haven't seen it already. And if you have seen it before, what are you doing reading this? Go watch Star Wars! It may not be a perfect movie, but I love it more than any other movie ever.


So check back tomorrow for my review of the sequel that surpasses the original, and is considered by many to be the absolute best Star Wars movie.


May the Force be with you.