In Retrospect: Obi-Wan Kenobi

Yeahhhhh, now we're back!

Kenobi still holds firm and strong on repeat viewings, to finally be able to watch it all in one go as opposed to every week is a great ride. You really feel like it's an extended cut of a Star Wars film, like a mini epic, with tons given that wasn't even asked for but I appreciate greatly regardless. Obviously I spoke a very good deal about this series in the proper review and hold it highly, so I won't retread much ground but more focus on spoilery topics now that significant time has passed and tell you what minute changes I would make. No show is perfect, I understand that better than most but I really couldn't believe some of the bashing on this show. Bridges were burned, people were burned, I did what I must. So here we go for slight improvements. Believe it or not I would only change one major plot element, I'm very happy with how the story progresses from planet to planet, conflict to conflict in a broad sense. I enjoy Reva, I genuinely do, we rarely get to see such a consequences be damned loose cannon in the Inquisitorium, her story of revenge against Vader and how she goes about it is well done and consistent. However! I do almost wish she bit the quite literal dust on Tatooine, now that being said we have never encountered an Inquisitor that was redeemed. They all fucking die one way or another, so to see that alone is unique and interesting. I am down to see Moses Ingram reprise the role. But I genuinely felt first time watching the finale, she would die, that her anger and rage is what was keeping her alive Darth Maul style but once she spoke to Obi-Wan and got that peace and rised above what Vader is, that's when she would die. We love poetry in Star Wars so it would reflect Maul's death also on the sands of Tatooine in Obi-Wan's arms. Also speaking of parallels, apparently people called ripoff on the Vader mask slice? Even though....not every casual or hell even major Star Wars fan has watched Rebels so the fact we get that in live action, as well as the Inquisitor fortress from Jedi Fallen Order, I feel is nothing but a treat! The circle is now complete, we now have both Matt and James along with Hayden and James, that's cool as shit man! I just feel no one is ever gonna be happy, that I always have to keep fighting, keep defending, never obtaining victory in the Star Wars community. I mean is that what you wanna do with your life? Make a 40+ minute video deconstructing and defaming a series or film because it didn't do what you wanted it to do? That's senseless, but that's what happens man. I'm not here for it, I know I've hated a fair share in my time and it's good to vent but you gotta move on. Even with aspects of Star Wars that I see the fault of and could even recommend ways to fix it, in this show even it doesn't hurt the overall enjoyment and I can move along. Yes, the Leia chase scenes could have been changed very slightly to better work, have her hide in the forest, have her get a better head start on the rooftops. Yeah, Reva should have died from her wound but who knows her ultimate fate? They could have put Leia in a cargo box instead of a coat at the fortress. But for the most part, those are tiny details that don't warrant an overall....underwhelming? Aggravated? Negative? Hateful stance? When so much great stuff is given like Tala, Vader, Obi-Wan's journey, Leia, the duels, Master Qui-Gon! More additions to the lore like The Path with Quinlan Vos helping out, the weird ass amber crystal trophy room, new planets, things we get to see in live action, new droids, and a brand new story never told before. Hardly worthy of just a 7/10 on IMDB in my opinion. It's a mighty good mini-series that's engaging, well directed, well acted, and I stand by my rating of a 9/10! I got plenty from this, even though I was waaaaay off the mark with how this show would go, but an open mind and hunger for more Star Wars leads to positive experiences more often than not for me. I can't hate it and even if I did, give it about 5 years for Lucasfilm to retroactively improve it. That is literally the entire history to Star Wars, fuck your "they didn't even plan it out" horseshit. I could force snap some necks right now but I won't because we got more awesome shows to talk about, Dave Filoni take me home!

Obi-Wan Kenobi

I love watching Star Wars.

I'm just so happy it's here, regardless of if it was either a film or a show this was way up on the list of future Lucasfilm projects I was looking forward to. I'm not taking back what I said in my Solo review, I enjoyed the movie and forever will judge those who boycotted it but it was a sacrificial lamb to get a Kenobi movie from me. But hey, we got a roughly 6 hour series in time and I still mostly refuse to associate myself with the Star Wars community, I'm just really over people. I read the Kenobi book by John Jackson Miller quite awhile before the show even began to get me in the mindset of the story this show wanted to tell. And while it did take tiny bits here and there, it of course crafted it's unique original story. I thought it would be one of the most downplayed Star Wars shows ever, heavy on introspection, reflection, and acceptance for Obi-Wan who is still grappling with the fallout of Revenge Of The Sith with maybe some Inquisitor action thrown in because they are a big presence at that time. But no, the story starts out humbly enough but changes gears quick when Leia gets kidnapped forcing Kenobi to leave Tatooine to rescue her while contending with the Inquisitorious and eventually Vader. It's not super in your face the arc that Obi-Wan goes through from being a broken, severely PTSD ridden, hermit content to do nothing to gaining some catharsis and peace while regaining his attunement to the Force through the course of the series. Massive spoiler here but, Ewan McGregor friggin' knocks it so far out of the park that it left that galaxy and ended up in ours. He flexes those acting muscles without even uttering a syllable at times, but carries the wisdom, experience, and compassion of a Jedi Master. It thrills me that we get so much attention on Leia in this show, because Luke has his story and is the focus of 3 movies minimum, so why the hell not give young baby Leia some attention? I have glimpsed the future, and may the space gods have mercy on me for this is precisely what my future daughter will be like. I know it in my soul, a terrific hot mess, beyond stubborn, absurdly adorable, and constantly making me proud and yet worrisome. This girl, Vivien Lyra Blair is a gosh dang 20/10! I have spoken. Moses Ingram pretty much snared my attention from the trailer alone, and Reva's story is really dang good though appropriately kept in the dark for the majority of the series so zip a lip on that for now. And I know she is given plenty of attention and I know people were like "I was hoping for Kenobi. Why are you here?" and that she should have had her own series, to which I would be down for to get a show all about the Inquisitors and how they operate. But the one single thing I was adamantly upset about before seeing the show was there was no handsome evil Jason Isaacs as The Grand Inquisitor, but we got Rupert Friend instead. Those qualms were quickly put to the side after his first scene, entirely reminding me why I love this character so much. He gets that air of superiority, smug charm, icy calm control, and intimidation with some very fun friction with Reva. Like there aren't enough costumes from Star Wars I want already. Speaking of costumes, Darth. F***ing. Vader. How? How...do they keep making him better?? I mean really, my favorite Star Wars character ever just keeps getting improved over time, and in recent times they have been attempting to increase the fear factor with resounding success. I have not feared this Dark Lord in my life until Jedi Fallen Order and then this show makes me horrified to the point of silence. The writing, good God the writing really favors Vader here. Not just lines, but what he does and how he does it is the stuff of legends and nightmares. And the fact we get Hayden back, he gets to do it again after the Prequel Renaissance, I'm proud of him he does such good work! Cause I've went through it all with the prequels, from loving them just as much as the originals and thinking they were all the same level of great, to thinking so little of them after hearing so much negative feedback in my early adult years, to a balanced state of appreciation and enjoyment today. I mean obviously it has so much to do during that era of the prequels, but the stuff here for those big fans of Episodes 1, 2, and 3 I know makes them so happy. It made me incredibly happy, shocked, intrigued, emotionally involved as always. The love just never will fade over time. It's beautifully shot with a lot of emphasis on the expansive environments, and the intricate closeness of character's facial expressions. I honestly think they upped the quality of this show than Mando or Boba, difficult to describe but you can feel the effort and detail given to each episode. Considering it was all from the vision of a single director who brought her own style and little touches is great to see. Not at all that there is anything bad about how multiple directors work on one show, that's a good majority of television, but it's just nice to see someone work on it until the end. Should there be a season 2? I am in the camp of a firm no. It gave enough to satisfy me and my want for knowledge of this period in galactic history, but it ended just right to where I can live happily with what I got. There's no doubt more stories to tell in the subsequent 9 years before A New Hope, but I don't think it needs to be commited to film. The comics have been a doing a LOT for Star Wars in all eras, and I can only begin to tell you how much I need to strap in and dive into the immense depths of all these comic runs at the very least Vader's. I know there is going to be an in retrospect where I ramble on so many tangents about so many things, but this is an overview of what I thought and is it worth watching. Not as accesible as other modern Star Wars shows, but highly entertaining with good storytelling contained within. But if you have even a modicrum of interest or knowledge in Star Wars it's going to be on the list. 4 stars, I will give it a 9/10, and for those saying why do you harbor such hatred for the community? I am what you made me.

In Retrospect: Birds Of Prey

I might have even liked it more this time around.

Yeah I gave the titling some major good grief but I was expecting more of a origin story for the Birds Of Prey and that's what I got. Granted I think me along with everyone else wasn't entirely sure what to expect from this movie but I very much appreciated it's style, color, and revelry in the absurd. It's a comic book movie, it fricking knows it's a comic book movie, and has a ball with it. Yes it's silly to the point of insanity, yes it's not telling a grand story, yes it is not a great movie and I am 150% okay with that. This is the odd duck of the modern superhero movie craze, had it's own ideas and ran to the bank with them, didn't explode the box office opening week but still made over 185 million dollars in contrast to it's 85 million dollar budget, and came out at a weird time when people were slowly headed toward the major lockdown season of this year. It doesn't make it a box office failure or a bad movie, it just hit at an awkward period. If I didn't say this in my original review I'll say it here, this has massive potential to be a rental cult hit now. I did enjoy aspects of it more, I accepted it's absurd action scenes the first time around and still loved them just as much, the comedy still got me, the colors, choreography, and all aspects of the production are still great! I'm probably one of the few comic book fans where I don't care if they change stuff, I've seen too many interpretations of one character to be bothered if they do it a bit different. I've seen Batman be campy, or fun and very 90s, or dark and serious, or downright epic, so what do I care if Cassandra Cain isn't Batgirl? I'm happy to see Cassandra Cain in a new way. Why the f*** do you people think I love Gotham so much? They took creative liberties to unparalleled heights and pulled it off in spades, I'm happy and willing to see new ideas with classic characters. I didn't hate Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Huntress at all, but she really grew on me the second go around and I can't wait to see more of her! I hope to see Renee maybe become The Question now that she's an ex-cop/crimefighter. I dig what they did with Black Canary and am game to see her kick even more ludicrous amounts of ass. It's different, but not at all bad. I can see some people getting hung up on the tone, action scenes, and character changes which is fine, I know this movie isn't for everyone (R rating obviously duh) but I still want people to watch it and see if they come around to it. I can dig what they did with Suicide Squad, it ain't perfect, it ain't great, but it is good and I do like it and same goes for this. Birds Of Prey tried something different and fun and payed off incredibly well in my opinion, and here's to Gotham City Sirens. I'll be there opening day guaranteed. And if for nothing else give Margot Robbie some credit, she helped fund this movie and had a lot of love and faith in it, so you get a round of applause from me.

Uh, Blumhouse...do not make me regret this. Fantasy Island tomorrow.

Birds Of Prey (2020)

No, I'm not writing the whole title I mean can you even imagine the acronym for this movie?

I literally had no idea this movie was rated R until I was walking into the thing, it's true I don't give ratings attention much especially when it comes to comic book movies but I was kinda shocked. And I kinda felt bad about the mom who brought her 8 year old to see this, but live and learn. How was the movie? I really liked it, the title is a bit of a mislead, yes the Birds Of Prey are in it but it's more of a Harley Quinn movie with Birds Of Prey characters as the supporting cast. Now I have nothing against that at all, they handled the material quite well I believe and delivered a total popcorn flick of a comic book movie. I have great respect for that! Not every comic book movie has to be this big, grandiose, universal stakes epic it can just be a fun movie. And that's really how it was until about 11 years ago, and I have to admit I miss it. Just bring a timeless character to the big screen, Superman did it, Batman did it, Iron Man did it, the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies did it, why so serious Hollywood? What's wrong with a story about Harley breaking up with the Joker and quickly finds that almost everyone in Gotham wants her dead including Black Mask, and soon teams up with Black Canary, Huntress, GCPD officer Renee Montoya, and very Jason Todd-esque pickpocket Cassandra Cain? Nothing! It's a good but basic story, with the new characters having their moments to not only shine but have vignettes about their backstories for new audiences, slightly absurd fight scenes (I swear Harley is a secret grandmaster of geometry), colorful visuals, and a good sense of humor. I enjoyed it a lot, and genuinely hope it does very well in theaters. I thought the characters were handled very well, they don't tell you every detail of their character but they don't need to, you get a quick sense of who they are and how they operate. Of course Margot Robbie is an absolute dream and reminds everyone why they fell in love with her performance in the first place, she just encompasses every Harley Quinn since her inception. I actually really like the fact they upped Montoya's age, from young detective at the GCPD to a more mature, weathered, and no nonsense detective with Rosie Perez really making the part her own. Huntress gets her original backstory so sorry Bruce X Selina shippers, and though I felt the acting was a bit distant and cold it kind of makes sense from a character standpoint so no points deducted from Mary. Black Canary is a friggin' ass kicker per usual and Jurnee Smollett-Bell does fine work. I found it interesting that they took Cassandra Cain, one of the most visually striking and fascinating iterations of Batgirl and made her a skilled pickpocket, I know they couldn't have done Selina Kyle at that age but the more I think about it, why not Catwoman? Selina has been a member of the group before and considering the item of interest for the movie is a diamond, that kind of fits her MO to steal it from Black Mask. Though of course not to bash Ella Jay Basco, I did enjoy her and like the weird mentor relationship thing going on with Harley. My boy Ewan McGregor is a wild ride in this movie and the movie gets a point just because of him! The movie hooked me from the Fleischer styled animated opening to end credits, it's a very fun movie, and I didn't get all uppity about the langauge too much because it's not animation and clearly not meant for kids. In fact I haven't seen this much face removal since Arkham City. I was kinda bummed out we didn't get Bud and Lou, but hey one hyena is better than no hyena's so I'll take what I can get. Final score, 4 stars, 7.5/10, definitely a thumbs up from me! Will say I'm looking forward to what comes next for our dear Harley and hope she makes it in the next Suicide Squad movie because I still stand by my opinion, it's a good movie. Seriously what the hell is with the hate? Did I miss a memo? Did the movie touch you in a bad place? It's fine, it's not great but it ain't bad either! I'm out, see you next week.

Doctor Sleep

Yeah, that's about right.

I really wasn't expecting much from this movie, and to be honest it sounds like a bad idea. It's basically a sequel to The Shining directed by Stanley Kubrick, but since it had some literary roots before it was a film it doesn't seem as bad. It's a good movie, maybe not a movie you absolutely have to see but if you like more cerebral stories or are just a big fan of Stephen King, then you should check it out. The story starts out very disconnected and fragmented, following Danny Torrence all grown up and helping a young girl with the same gifts from a band of people who are kind of a cross between immortals from Highlander, and the Dementors from Harry Potter, able to literally suck all the shining out of individuals and further boost their own power. I like our leads, I mean I've yet to see a bad Ewan McGregor performance and he does quite well in this, able to be a mentor figure to this mystical power to a young child. Wait this sounds a bit familiar....it had something to do with wars amongst the stars. Oh well it'll come to me later. But I feel Kyleigh Curran did a great job and was a really damn good leading actor for one so young and is kind of a badass in this movie, I was rooting for her and Ewan the whole way! Villains on the other hand are sort of blah, we only really know two of them and even then we don't actually know much about them beyond, ooooh spooky eyes because they are eeevillll! But they do the job fine and dandy, and if anything bring new levels to the world that Stephen King has woven. It certainly elicited reactions from me, from unnerving creepiness to flat out exclamations of amazement. They go there, with full out mental power battles and it really is spectacular mainly because I just haven't seen much of that in any media beyond Doctor Strange and the last few bits of Arkham Knight. But it's friggin' cool and I loved it. And no I haven't seen Inception yet (Yeah yeah, I'll get to it one day.) so it was just great fun to see, I actually caught myself tilting my head as the camera did all these weird movements, it's never disorientating but it does kinda make you feel a bit weird. It dips very lightly into actual Shining territory until the end and while others may bitch and moan about it having to use the film as a crutch, I greatly enjoyed it and they showed amazing attention to detail and honestly some of the actors looked identical to the original cast. Hell I almost feel tempted to go home and watch it right now but I actually want to sleep tonight so I will decline, and give this movie a 7/10. May not be essential viewing but it's a decent story that gives you some entertainment. Pretty good movie, and worth seeing at least once. Short review I know, but we got more to talk about this week from another well known director into the fray of suspense and thrillers.

Christopher Robin

I don't think I've ever cried in a theater before.

It's everything I wanted and more. If this was the last movie I ever saw or reviewed, I think I would be quite happy. Curse you Disney and your hold on my childhood, this movie shouldn't be so good but it is. It takes a more deep and moving approach while still being fun, charming, wonderful, and of course perfect. Ewan McGregor is always nice to see in a movie, and he is very Mr. Banks for lack of a better term for I'd say half the movie even after meeting Pooh and going on a adventure, but he's still so nice and has that charm to him. Christopher's daughter Madeline is also quite wonderful too, and I don't think I need to say a word about our friends from the Hundred Acre Wood. They're all perfect, perfect voice, perfect character, perfect look to the point where I desperately want them all. But the movie is more than happiness, with it tugging on your heartstrings with reckless abandon and made me severely emotional. You can keep all the moments in film history, Disney or otherwise, that made you emotionally wrecked cause I think this tops even UP and that was an emotional movie. It fits that special kind of bittersweet, melancholy movie like Her or Lost In Translation, where you love it so and yet it breaks your heart. The best parts though are the sort of reflection moments, like we see at the end of the first movie, they have those moments that elevate the film from fun family movie to one of the best movies made. And a lot of that comes from how Christopher grew up, he got sent to a boarding school where soon after his father passed away, he enlists in the army and actually fights during World War 2, and returns home to his wife and 3 year old daughter. I mean dang man, that's a shock to the system! There's plenty of fun, charming, and humorous scenes but I'm so glad they decided to go a bit farther and make it more than a family movie. I won't divulge into plot because well, you probably already know how it goes from the trailer but I will tell you it ends nice. Better than nice in fact. There are some beautiful atmospheric shots, and the film couldn't look more pretty in my opinion. I'd tell you to go see it but I have a feeling you probably already have. And I will miss being here, if it's only for a little while. But I promise to be back and we'll have more movies to see and enjoy.

Trainspotting

Well it only took me 22 years to finally watch it.

So what did I think of Trainspotting? I liked it! It was nice to see Ewan McGregor in a role I never saw him in before, this coming from a guy who the first and only movies I saw of him were the Star Wars prequels. Hell, this movie came out 3 years before Episode 1 so he was that close to becoming super famous, and he does an incredible job in this movie where he plays Renton, a young man who is addicted to heroin and tries several times to get his life back on track told in one of the most recognizable opening monologues in film. It's basically if you took Requiem For A Dream's drug abuse and addiction and mixed it with A Clockwork Orange's delinquet young men. It's a fascinating movie and it does end on a high note for Renton, but it does not shy away from the more dark and depressing consequences of drug use. Christ, I'd almost say the movie is one big PSA to lay off the smack but that would be a severe diservice to the movie. It has unique camera movements and placements, you get a good sense of Renton and his deadbeat friends and maybe why they even do what they do, all the acting is really good, it's surprisingly funny for a serious look at drug addiction, and I can see why it has a sort of cult following. It's a really good movie, and though it may not be for everyone I do have to recommend it. It's graphic to say the least, but you can still enjoy it as a film and appreciate the story it was trying to tell. Would I buy it? Yeah, I think I actually would! And tomorrow we look at another movie I've never seen, Snatch. I swear to God it's not a porno.

Revenge Of The Sith

Woohoo! Last movie of Star Wars week and what a way to end, to review the only good prequel movie! Now all I have to do is wait until December to review The Force Awakens.




Alright, there is a hell of a lot to cover in this movie so I will relay all the important details. The Clone Wars are finally coming to an end. The separatists have kidnapped the Chancellor and are holding him captive on their star ship, so Anakin and Obi-Wan who have become greater friends over the time between the last movie are sent to rescue him. They face off with Count Dooku for the last time and Anakin kills him by the order of the Chancellor. They return the Chancellor back to Coruscant and Anakin learns some very important news, Padme is pregnant. But soon Anakin is having terrible dreams about the death of his wife and promises her to save her by any means necessary. Afterwards Palpatine entrusts Anakin to be his representative on the Jedi Council, and the Council asks Anakin to spy on Palpatine, later Anakin attends an opera with Palpatine where he tells him of an old Sith legend about a Sith Lord who actually had the power to save people from death, Anakin asks if it is possible to learn this power, but the Chancellor tells him it cannot be learned from a Jedi. Meanwhile Obi-Wan has tracked down the general of the droid army to the planet of Utapau, where when he destroys the general the war will finally be over. Palpatine finally reveals to Anakin that he himself is a Sith Lord and can teach him how to save his wife, but Anakin warns the Council of Palpatine's deception and they send four Jedi masters to confront and arrest the Sith Lord. Anakin intervenes at the last second before Mace Windu kills Darth Sidious, slicing Windu's hand off and watching as Sidious kills him. He then pledges himself to Darth Sidious and gains his new title, Darth Vader and his first orders are to destroy the Jedi Temple and kill all the Jedi within it. Darth Sidious then deploys Order 66 which turns all of the clone troopers on their Jedi generals killing all of them. Master Yoda and Obi-Wan go to the temple and see the damage that has been done, and find Anakin to be the cause of all this destruction and death. Lord Vader then travels to the fiery lava world of Mustafar where he murders all of the separatist leaders, now with no opposition to his power Darth Sidious forms the first Galactic Empire, and deeming himself The Emperor of the galaxy. Obi-Wan confronts Padme of her husband's horrible deeds and tells her that he must kill him. Padme soon travels to Mustafar with Obi-Wan hiding on the ship. Padme confronts Anakin and sees how far he has truly fallen, he then chokes her almost to death but Obi-Wan soon stops him and they have a final duel on the planet. Meanwhile Master Yoda fights with Darth Sidious in the senate, Yoda failing to defeat The Emperor he forces himself into exile on the planet Dagobah. The powerful duel between Obi-Wan and Anakin continues on and on until Obi-Wan gains the upper hand and cuts Anakin's left arm and both legs off and sees him being burned alive on the gravel and ash filled land, taking Anakin's lightsaber before leaving with Padme. Padme gives birth to twins, Luke and Leia, and Anakin Skywalker completes his transformation into Darth Vader when his mutilated body is given cybernetic limbs and his body is encased in a black suit of armor complete with life support. Darth Sidious removes the last bits of Vader's humanity by telling him that he killed his wife. The Jedi decide it to be best for the twins to be separated to keep them safe from the Empire. And the Empire begins construction of the first Death Star. This is without a doubt the best film of the prequel trilogy, mainly because it just gets back to the original trilogy at the end. The acting is fantastic, everyone does a great job bringing the darkest of the Star Wars movies to new heights. The action is the best of the entire prequel trilogy, the final fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan is a sight to behold with so much raw power and emotion going into the fight. The fall of the Jedi and the rise of the Sith is everything I wanted it to be and it does not disappoint in the slightest. Anakin's transformation in to the dark lord of the Sith, Darth Vader is the only reason the entire prequel trilogy was made, which makes you wonder why we even have the first and second movies other than to establish how the Republic fell and how the Empire began. If there is one single movie you should watch from the prequel trilogy it is hands down, Revenge Of The Sith. I cannot recommend it enough, don't watch the first two movies, watch episodes three through six and then join us all around Christmas to witness the continuation of the Star Wars saga.

Attack Of The Clones

Well this movie is slightly better than The Phantom Menace. But not by much.




So this installment of the Star Wars saga takes place ten years after The Phantom Menace, and surprisingly....not much has happened. Anakin has gotten older, he's still a Padawan. Obi-Wan is now almost a Jedi master. Padme is no longer a queen and yet everyone still calls her milady for some reason, and she hasn't aged at all she looks the same as she did from the last movie. The Republic has encountered a bit of a problem, a separatist organization has been created and now the Republic is almost on the verge of war. And the separatists have tried to assassinate Padme, so she has to be guarded by Obi-Wan and Anakin, whose relationship has certainly changed in the past ten years. They are good friends but they still have the master-apprentice relationship, which cause friction as Anakin is acting very self absorbed and feels like his master is holding him back. So they figure out a bounty hunter was sent to kill Padme so they have to split up, Obi-Wan starts his search for the mysterious bounty hunter, and Anakin has to protect Padme and return her to her home planet of Naboo. Soon Obi-Wan discovers who the bounty hunter is and travels to the world of Kamino where he also discovers that a clone army has been produced for the Republic from the DNA of the bounty hunter Jango Fett the father of Boba Fett. Meanwhile on Naboo a romance starts to blossom between Anakin and Padme and really I could care less. I know it's important to the characters and the story but really it's just tedious and boring. It reminds me of Bella and Edward's romance in Twilight, and that makes me sick to my stomach, but we will get to the Twilight movies in good time! So anyway, Obi-Wan tracks Jango to the planet of Geonosis and gets captured and has a brief chat with Count Dooku played masterfully by Christopher Lee who is the saving grace of this movie! Seriously, what is with these prequel movies and the only thing I truly love about them is the secondary Sith Lord? Speaking of Sith Lords, Count Dooku reveals to Obi-Wan that the senate of the Republic is under control of a Sith Lord by the name of Darth Sidious. Yes, yes, politicians are evil. Ha ha! Moving on...Anakin has horrible visions of his mother dying so he goes to Tatooine to try and find her, but finds it's too late and she dies in his arms. They soon receive a pre-recorded message form Obi-Wan telling them of the planet Geonosis, so they travel there to save him only to be captured themselves. Meanwhile in the senate, emergency powers are given to Chancellor Palpatine to use the clone army to fight the separatists. So they quickly rush over to Geonosis to capture their leaders and save our heroes. The battle is successful but Dooku gets away so our Jedi knights track him down and fight him. The fights in this movie are really good! Even though the duel with Dooku is short, it's still very good primarily for one reason, we get to see Yoda pull out his lightsaber and fight! Are you kidding me? And he's like lightning quick, he's doing all these flips and tricks, it's unbelievable! I'd say watch the movie just for that! But the fight doesn't go good for our heroes, Anakin gets his right arm cut off, him and Obi-Wan are nearly crushed by a pillar which Yoda stops but gives enough time for Dooku to escape the planet. So Anakin gets a robot arm and even secretly marries Padme even though they've known each other for a couple of days, maybe a week at best. Seriously, they meet up after ten years, travel to Naboo, hang out and build their horribly written romance for a few days, go to Tatooine and bury Anakin's mother and then go to Geonosis to help Obi-Wan and then they are sooo deeply in love they get married. Blah, blah blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. Just wake me up when we see Yoda fight.


Alright! We get to look at Revenge Of The Sith tomorrow! I love that movie. Can't wait!

The Phantom Menace

You know...I used to like this movie as a kid. I thought it was a good Star Wars movie. Now...well let's talk about it, shall we?



I dreaded watching this movie. I haven't seen this movie in 10 years, I remember this movie well. I honestly don't know what to think about it, it's just okay. There's bad stuff in it, but there's also good stuff. Very few good stuff but good stuff nevertheless. So what's the story? Here we go....okay, so a Trade Federation has set up a blockade around the planet of Naboo and the senate of the Galactic Republic has sent two Jedi knights, Obi-Wan Kenobi played by Ewan McGregor , and Qui-Gon Jinn played by Liam Neeson, and they are sent to investigate. They soon uncover a plan that will take over the entire planet all because of, I have no idea. I don't think they give a reason that actually makes sense in this movie, I think because it has something to do with the Trade Federation and taxation, you know the stuff you REALLY want to hear in a Star Wars movie! But moving on. Okay so they meet up with Queen Amidala played by Natalie Portman and they get off the planet, but their ship gets damaged so they have to land on Tatooine to find new parts. They meet a slave by the name of Anakin Skywalker played by Jake Lloyd, who helps them get the parts they need and helps them fix the ship. The Jedi knights are astonished by how strong he is in the Force and believes he is part of a prophecy that tells of a Chosen One that will bring balance to the Force and destroy the Sith. So they take him to the Jedi Temple on the planet Coruscant to begin his Jedi training, and then we briefly touch on the political side of Star Wars...yay. Honestly it's not that bad it's only one or two scenes, but you don't care. And I know the reason why they put it in the movie, to establish how the Republic turned into the Empire, but they delve more into that in the sequels. So the Queen says, Naboo's my planet and we are taking it back, so they head back over to Naboo to capture the leader of the Trade Federation and liberate the planet. This is really just the cliff notes version of the film, I'm sorry I just don't want to talk about it that much, I don't like it and I really don't want to rant that much either. So for the sake of this review, let's talk about the good things which aren't that many. This is really just kind of a forgettable Star Wars movie and that breaks my heart, but it's true. So here are the good points, the cast for the most part was chosen very wisely. Liam Neeson is a wise mentor to young Obi-Wan, Ewan McGregor is a very, very good Obi-Wan. Ian McDiarmid is still great as always, but they don't give him much to work with sadly, Natalie Portman does a fairly good job as the Queen. Ray Park is a total bad ass as Darth Maul, and oh yeah I love Darth Maul in this movie! He's the saving grace in this dreary wreck, the final lightsaber duel is nothing like you have ever seen before in Star Wars and it is amazing! The fight choreography is superb, Ray Park gives a very impressive show of his stunt work talents, and it's just a great fight! The music by John Williams is still great, the special effects although over 15 years old look pretty damn good and still hold up surprisingly, but it's not all perfect. It's a mixed bag, I can only recommend it if you really are interested in the story taking place almost twenty years before the first Star Wars movie, and you just have more of an open mind than most other people. But if you don't, you're not missing much so you can skip it.


Tune in tomorrow when we talk about Attack Of The Clones, which I'm also not all too excited for.