Hotel Artemis

Well that was a pleasant surprise.

You know, for a movie I had no faith in, and hardly any interest in, and essentially went on a whim for better or worse, that was a good movie! And I don't get the trashing reviews I have seen, like I said I had no real inclination to go see this movie, I would have been content waiting until it hit video but I wanted to get another review out for the week. And this is a really good movie! I know the premise and tv spots sounded sketchy, a criminal hospital and hell breaks loose with action, comedy, and thrills. It's hardly anything like that except the criminal hospital. Okay, the year is 2028 and Los Angeles has been torn asunder from riots. War zone is putting it lightly. Enter our protagonist known only as Waikiki who just robbed a bank and it kinda went bad, his brother is pumped full of bullets so they head to the Hotel Artemis to get patched up. That's basic setup, but there is a lot more going on. See the Artemis is filled with medical technology that's a marvel to say the least, and there are a few other patients being tended. Let's just say personalities clash. But that leads us to characters, easily the best part of the film! And I say that because, I love how the actors potrayed them. This is an excellent cast playing good characters, you can tell that when they talk there is more to the dialogue. Like, you can tell they have a history together, they have known each other, worked with each other, and gotten to know one another through several years. This is the film's best feature. And the cast is great, Jodie Foster even after a 5 year hiatus does a fantastic job, she's been running the Artemis for over 20 years and she is having none of these criminal's nonsense, she is this nurse who has seen it all and it's just another day for her. Dave Bautista plays her assistant, and he is wonderful with Jodie because he's this mountain of a badass and yet she calls him babe, and oh my God that is the most precious thing I have ever seen! Ahem, sorry. We got my girl, hey Sofia I missed you, still being awesome and perfect as always. Sterling K. Brown is a good protagonist, kind of a criminal with a heart of gold, he knows most of the people in the Artemis and he knows not to cause trouble and just wants to save his brother. So cast is solid aces, action is a minor point but done well, setup is interesting and could have possibly set up sequel bait but I do doubt it heavily, so yeah a solid good movie! Definitely go see it, it clocks in barely an hour and a half with credits so you got time, I was just so surprised how good it was. I was expecting middle of the road, nothing good or bad, but I was gladly surprised to see it and I may even buy it in the future!

So we got awhiles until the next review, Thursday in fact. But regardless of the time I think it's gonna be incredible.

In Retrospect: Atomic Blonde

You know it takes a lot for a spy thriller to keep holding your attention once you know how it all ends, but thankfully this movie does it well.

Yes, Atomic Blonde is still a fantastic movie that I would gladly buy and own for the rest of my life. Charlize Theron carries the whole movie, and she does a phenomenal job. Honestly if they announced her as the next 007, I really wouldn't mind that much! She gets the ever living hell beat out of her and she still comes into combat with all piss and vinegar, nobody and I will stand by this, has ever been beat down as much as her and yet she still fights back and wins. Pick any movie. Any protagonist. They don't even get a scratch on them compared to her. Jesus God almighty Charlize is the queen! The action is done so incredibly well utilizing slick and quick editing, while still giving the audience a wide view of the action so you can appreciate the choreography and brutal fighting displayed. The espionage element is still very good, with alliances, betrayal, and twists to keep it interesting. And of course, Sofia Boutella. Ohhhh my yes. Movie's perfect! It's perfect! Buy it, that is all. But in all seriousness, she is the cherry on top of this awesome movie. Just every aspect of it is so well executed. Story is very good, characters are interesting, action is exhilarating, the mystery is intriguing, the soundtrack is kick ass, it's just a really good movie! I was so happy to see it again, because I knew I was in for a blast and I highly enjoyed it as I did the first time. Although mind you, it wasn't an easy movie to watch with my mom. Cause she wanted to see the movie, and when it got a little...ahem, steamy, oh dear. Cause you remember how I described those scenes, and it really has not changed in terms of uncomfortableness, like I still feel like I am watching full on hardcore adult movie. Just....God. Beyond that though, very good movie! I might die tomorrow from massive consumption of food, but at least I will die happy and fed. So I'm okay with that. And if I live, I get to run around and breathe in the chaos of Black Friday, so it's win-win. And next week we will have lots to talk about...

In Retrospect: The Mummy (2017)

I told you I didn't forget!

I'm so thrilled we get another one of these, granted not until 2019 but it will be worth it. So obviously The Mummy did a good job with not only gaining the revenue to show these movies would work in the future, but also with building the universe in which classic monsters are reborn. And I still attribute it to Sofia Boutella, you can get any big name star like Tom Cruise in a movie but the movie is called The Mummy for a reason so the film rides on her performance and I'm still head over heels about her and yet I can still look at her performance and say, yes she did a great job and I hope it won't be the last we see of Ahmanet. When I heard they would take on a more action/adventure tone with the Universal Monsters, I was worried but the movie was still very entertaining. I liked the movie a lot, it had brief but decent action, wonderful atmosphere in some scenes and the horror aspects can still be felt, so I can't say it wasn't a good movie. Not a lot of people know about the classic monsters, but boy howdy have I seen them popping up lately. From costumes, to these beautiful decorations found in regular stores not even specifically Halloween stores, they're coming back and it makes me proud. If you asked a normal person on the street how many Mummy movies Universal made, they might say 4 or 5, five if they count the Boris Karloff original when they made at least 9. These movies can create a new generation of monster movie fans, to make people watch not only The Mummy, but The Wolf Man, The Bride Of Frankenstein, even Creature From The Black Lagoon. There was a reason I talked about the classics my first October, because I was a fan and more people should watch those movies. So I applaud The Mummy, I applaud Universal for bringing them back, and I'm excited for the future of a new world of gods and monsters.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

This was a blast! You want a different sort of spy movie? Look no further.

Kingsman is a great, fun, and very entertaining spy movie that revels in the absurdity and all things awesome that we have come to know and love in the spy genre from the 60s and 70s. Our main hero Eggsy had a father who worked with a completely top secret institute known as Kingsman, he dies on a mission and about 10 years later Eggsy comes in contact with his father's partner Galahad who takes him under his wing and trains him to fight Samuel L. Jackson from killing the world with Suicide Squad bombs implanted in people's heads. Sounds ridiculous? Well, there's a reason. I love the fact that this movie totally says it's a spy movie, unashamedly having fun with the classic James Bond archetypes of megalomaniacal villains, bizzare assassins, ridiculously awesome gadgets, and always cool looking secret agents. I expected a decent movie and I got a really good one! There's many good things to say about it and very little bad things, so I'll keep it short and sweet. First off, bitching cast right off the bat. In one instance we have Mark Hamill, Sam Jackson, and Sofia Boutella in a scene together. Need I say more? All actors are outstanding across the board, the action is absolutely insane in terms of choreography and really creates a spectacle that I haven't felt in a movie in ages. And that's a great word to describe this movie, a spectacle! A spectacle of action, humor, and espionage blended perfectly and poured in a martini glass. This is a movie that deserves the praise and the viewings from people all over the world, and more than worthy enough to buy. So now, I'm stoked for the sequel like mad! I expect it to be a good sequel, with a lot of fun in it, so I will see you there and remember that manners maketh man.

Atomic Blonde

I friggin' called the use of 99 LuftBalloons. I mean come on, it's Germany in 1989. We're going to hear some Nena.

Atomic Blonde, a brash, vibrant, and pretty kickass spy film has just hit today and it sure does need to be seen. So the story takes place about a month before the Berlin Wall is torn down with a british agent sent in to East Berlin to retrieve a list of all the agents in the world before it gets in the hands of the KGB. And then a lot happens that you come to expect in spy movies, action scenes, double crosses, and of course the more....ahem, steamy scenes. But Atomic Blonde does takes these normal conventions and puts a new spin on it, and not just due to that we have a female spy this time. The action scenes are visceral, they're brutal, I mean Charlize Theron gets the piss kicked out of her and she still hits back hard. The spy and espionage element is there but not heavily centered on. This movies does fully deserve the R rating so obviously it's not for everyone. The violence is in your face and doesn't shy away from kills, the sex is in my opinion kind of unnecesary. I mean your following the story and then Sofia Boutella and Charlize Theron participate in lesbiaonics, and while I love Sofia Boutella I just felt the sex and nudity wasn't there for a reason other than for someone to get their rocks off. And really that's the only bad thing I can say about the movie. The cinematography is friggin' blasting with color when in the right scene, and looks fantastic. All the acting is good with James McAvoy being an ass like he always is, but my God he is terrific at it. Charlize Theron has got a bad attitude in this movie, like she is just not a nice lady. Is she great in those action scenes? Uhhhh.....yeah!! But her character is very unlikable, for about 90% of the movie, not until the end am I fully behind her and want to see her get stuff done. Sofia Boutella who is my new golden girl, is just a treat to see in the movie so I'm all for it. And one thing I don't ever think I mentioned is I love period pieces, not like Victorian era dramas or anything like that but more specifically, seeing a part of the world in that time. Another spy movie example I can throw out there is You Only Live Twice, just seeing Japan in that time period, in the late 60s was really awesome. So seeing Berlin split between East and West in that time period was very interesting. I certainly don't have to tell you I LOVE this soundtrack! I'm a lover of this decade of music above all others, a close second being 60s rock, and even beyond the excellent choice in musical tracks the original music created and used in this movie is really good! Like buy the soundtrack good! It fits right in with the feel and style of the movie. I walked in expecting a decent, if not great spy movie and I got a great spy movie! So if it sounds like your kinda movie, definitely go watch it.

Well that's it for this week. But what now? What comes next? Well.....tomorrow I'll tell you.

The Mummy (2017)

Oh Sofia Boutella......

What is wrong with people? All I heard about this before I saw it was this movie sucked, it's garbage, nothing really nice about it, and it was awesome! Now I might be biased because I am a very big fan of the Universal Monsters. I thought this movie was great! The action was decent, the comedy was hit or miss but nothing to ruin the movie, the horror aspect was quite good although I must admit it fell into the trope of jump scares, and even the cast ranged from not bad to holy hell can I marry you! Tom Cruise was fine, he did the job and he did it well so no complaints there, Russel Crowe as Dr. Jekell was an interesting choice but I would be lying if I said it was bad, Annabelle Wallis's character was just bland so I don't blame the actress I blame the character for not doing much to get me invested in her. And then there is Sofia. Oh God Sofia.....wow. Like dude, wow. You wanna talk great? You wanna talk awesome? You wanna talk sympathetic, creepy, terrifying, and a touch sexy? Bam, Sofia Boutella in The Mummy! Perfect! Love, love, love her in this movie! You are my golden girl now Sofia! Huh, what's that? This is supposed to be a review, so talk about the movie? Well fine then! The story was a great twist on the usual Mummy lore, with a princess destined to be the next pharaoh of Egypt until the pharaoh has a son and denies her of her throne, so she kinda....snapped and killed the pharaoh and the baby (kinda dark), and she even makes a pact with the Egyptian equivalent of Satan! Nice. But she gets captured, buried alive, and her tomb is not discovered for over 3000 years. So Tom Cruise wakes her up, thank you very much Mr. Cruise, she decides to wreck shit and be you know awesome and she even takes a certain fancy to Tom's character, damn you Mr. Cruise. But Russel Crowe has this kinda sorta secret league where they hunt monsters, and they try to take her down. So that's basic plot, and I found myself very interested cause I want this to work so bad. I need a cinematic universe of Universal Monsters! The monsters are back after 86 years. High time for a comeback! Go see this movie, if for no other reason than for me. You people can have your superhero movies always, but who has got the love for the monsters? I certainly do. So of course I highly recommend to see this movie in theaters, go watch it, be introduced to a new world of gods and monsters. And see if you can pick out those easter eggs in the glass jars! I have faith in you. Until next week.....