Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

I think there's a reason I haven't watched this since 2005.

I mean, it's not bad. It really isn't, it just didn't do anything for me. Now I watched it a fair bit when I was like 10, though I speak from experience when I say not to watch it when you're sick and you got a fever and your brain feels all mixed and scrambled, but it's good to compare notes on with the Gene Wilder film. Same basic story with a few alterations, imaginings, and some delvings in Wonka's past to make it indeed a film of it's own and not a straight up remake. I feel Tim Burton is a rock solid choice for the film because you know he's a visual director with a distinct style and can give such a wild and weird look once you're in the factory and I feel he somewhat delivers but I also feel it's one of his more "normal" looking films like Edward Scissorhands. Johnny Depp I love you man, you are a very talented performer, and I ain't got a clue why you're here. Not that it's bad writing or a poor performance, I think I fully understand the angle they were working, it's a reclusive guy who's headspace is still very much childlike and immature with a dose of parental trauma I understand that part, but it ain't fully realized. He's just kinda out there, spacey, awkward, very much in his little world, and for lack of a better term alien. There was one moment where I feel he got it, captured a spark of Gene Wilder, when he was trying to unlock the gate so Veruca could be saved, that was rich! Charlie ain't much better, unbelievably categorized in that nice kid mold with barely a lick of personality though I'm happy Freddie kept acting and has gotten good stuff since. The kids are a bit meaner which I rather like cause that's incredibly believable for children, and they still are as one dimensional as the characters in the 70s version so that's a small improvement. Major props to Deep Roy who had to play every single Oompa Loompa on camera, that is commitment and he got paid accordingly as well for all his work. I'm rather split on the musical cues because it's not a musical per se as the previous film, we only get the what I like to call the comeuppnace songs after each kid gets bumped off, it's a neat touch that each song focuses on a decade of music from the 50s to the 80s (not in that particular order) but the songs are kinda ehhh. I rather enjoy Danny Elfman's music, both in cinema and in his band Oingo Boingo, but this is his lowest for me on the ranking of his film scores. It's not all negatives of course, but hey man people have their preferences. The movie did a decent job getting a few really good laughs out of me, the set design goes from mundane to beautifully realized, any screen time with Christopher Lee is a win, the kid actors were good with the material they had, to hear Geoffrey Holden as the narrator was a real treat for me, and I even appreciated the House Of Wax nod that Tim slipped in there. It's okay, I can take it or leave it, but who says it can't work for someone? As for the upcoming Wonka...oh my God I am so perplexed as to how this will go. It seems to be appropriately out there just in the overall movie landscape of 2023. Full blown musical dance numbers and all, the tone feels light and leaning towards über cutesy to where you could get the diabeetus from watching it, it is unashamedly different in it's style and tone, all I'm hoping for is a good movie but I have a sneaking suspicion it'll be the bridgehead of quality between Charlie and Willy Wonka. Final scores, 2.5 stars, 5.5/10, and here's hoping for Friday.

Count Dracula (1970)

Big leap ahead to 1970 with another more accurate depiction of the novel.

Now obviously it's not a perfect adaptation, but Jesus Franco delivered a good enough adaptation of Bram Stoker's work. It's an interesting example of cinema, and I'll freely admit this is my first Jesus Franco film and the style is unique to me but also gives the film it's own personal feel. So we start off with Jonathan Harker making his way to the Borgo Pass to convene with the Count over the purchase of property in London, and it follows the book fairly well for that first section, hell it gets a giant gold sticky star for being the only adaptation of Dracula that fits the description of the count in the book, but this being a barely over 90 minute movie we move swiftly on to London as we are introduced to the rest of the characters. Jonathan's fiancee Mina, her best friend Lucy, Dr. John Seward residing physician at a mental hospital, Quincey Morris the love interest of Lucy, and Dr. Abraham Van Helsing. We're still following the no frills outline of the book and keep a steady pace, and not to go into the depths of detail and spoilers because you know this story, so let's talk about some details instead. I appreciate it being a period piece and the look of the movie while minimalistic works very well! The camera is the most interesting factor, you get a lot of handheld stuff, so many zooms it would be a dangerous drinking game, and panning shots which shows off the full scope of the sets and location. I've heard conflicting opinions on whether this was shot in Franco's native country of Spain or in Italy, but either way the castle, the classy interiors, and the distinctly old fashioned yet creepy exteriors look lovely. Easily, far and away, hands down, best Christopher Lee performance as Dracula, I was so taken aback by the amount of dialogue he had because it's a well known fact he refused to speak the dialogue in subsequent Hammer films, and it makes a world of difference. Speaking of Hammer, Herbert Lom is Van Helsing in this and it took me a good bit before I realized it was The Phantom Of The Opera before he got scarred by acid, a very serious and well spoken iteration of the character but not much else. I feel like an ass when I say stuff like this but...if Quincey Morris ain't texan then he ain't Quincey Morris, now am I saying I need this thick kountree accent or more southern idioms than you can shake a stick at? No sirree, but goddamn it that would tickle me pink and put a huge smile on my face because he is easily my favorite character in the entire book. Not to even slightly say the cast didn't do fine work, they did all the way through. It's not one of the most examplary versions of this classic literary character, but if you're a fan of vampire movies or more foreign-y films or movies of an older caliber it is worth seeing. They made a solid attempt at bringing the book to life, and did it in an interesting and entertaining way. So it's definitely a good movie, and if you don't want to take my word for it Christopher Lee himself said it was a fine effort. I give it 3 stars, 7/10, and Coppola's Dracula is next.

The Man With The Golden Gun

I know this is one of the lesser good James Bond movies but I still like it a bit.

I will admit the movie has problems, some making absolutely no sense whatsoever but it is more smaller things. The story is told well with Bond having to face off against the world's deadliest assassin for a solar device which could end the energy crisis which was a very real thing for Britian at that time. It's a decent movie in the series, it has issues yes but the good stuff still stands strong. I somewhat pin the issues of plot and character on the straining relationship between Albert "Cubby" Broccoli and Harry Saltzman the producers of every single James Bond film up to that point, and the fact that a lot of the elements of the production were rushed, this movie released just one year after Live And Let Die. Now granted the first four Bond movies were released one year after the other but it had adverse effects on the main star, and now the producers of this empire were falling on hard times. For better information than I could ever give I absolutely recommend the documentary Everything Or Nothing released in 2012, it is one of the best documentaries I have ever seen and a heartfelt telling of the history of the series. Yet through all the issues, they still gave us a decent story with a damn good cast. Roger Moore still delivers his own style of James Bond but takes on a bit of a rougher edge, more akin to how Sean Connery would act the scene in some circumstances and it just doesn't work for Roger. I certainly don't blame him for it but it was a misstep regardless. Christopher Lee is practically god-tier Bond villain for me as Francisco Scaramanga, able to play both the ice blooded killer and yet shows great levity and joy in certain scenes, giving us something of a window into how Lee really was in life, a charismatic, lovely, full of life gentleman known the world over. He is the reason I hold this film highly, and damn it I really want that golden gun. Not only is it geniusly crafted but I've been familiar with that weapon years and years before I saw the film, so thanks Goldeneye for the N64 you still rock today. Anyway, Britt Eckland is more of a bubbleheaded Bond girl as Mary Goodnight and was obviously showcased more for her looks than acting talent, but I still appreciate her for being a part of this series. And whatever faults I take with Goodnight are almost washed away by the character of Andrea played by the stunning Maud Adams who brings such a tragic light to a character and while not in the film for long still left a big impression on me, and I was thrilled to know she is in another Bond film but all in good time. Herve Villechaize is yet another memorable henchman and has some good personality that adds just that bit more to the screen. The action is more subdued in this one, with yet another instance of throwing their hat into the ring and having some martial arts fighting which was growing popular at that time, but it really is all about the final duel between Bond and Scaramanga and it does incredibly well! The pacing, editing, and setting are practically flawless and really was the best scene in the movie for me. All in all, I enjoy this movie and while I can acknowledge the faults it has it never detracts from my enjoyment. 3 stars, solid 7/10, and we'll be back for what could be Roger Moore's best movie of the series, The Spy Who Loved Me.

The City Of The Dead

I know it has like 3 other titles but I'm calling it this name.

The City Of The Dead is by no means a horror classic, but should be seen at least once by lovers of atmosphere and moody gothic sets. It follows a young college student who is studying witchcraft (Where was that course in my college years?) and is encouraged by her professor to visit an ancient town known for burning witches in the 17th century. And I think we all know whether or not that trip ends badly or not. It's a basic story, with some even comparing it to Psycho though this film actually was in production first but didn't hit the States until 2 years after Psycho. But where the film's strength lies is clearly in the lighting, cinematography, and sets. The film is shot in black and white at a time when it was just cheaper to not shoot in color, but I honestly would hate this film in color, the black and white only elevates the superb set of the town of Whitewood with great lighting and shadows, wonderfully chilling sets built on a controlled soundstage that only further pushes a surreal and nightmarish quality, and fog that would put even John Carpenter to shame. But the acting isn't half bad either with Venetia Stevenson being a very charming and nice lead for a good duration of the film, and Patricia Jessel who is great as the lead witch and is probably her most well known role and for good reason, but I think the biggest reason this film has not slipped into obscurity is because it has Christopher Lee. I was genuinely surprised hearing his voice in this movie, with a clear american accent which he does well and still commands a presence, but just to have that star power in it with this being only 4 years after he became the next horror icon in Hammer's Dracula series is a big reason why more people are aware of it. I genuinely think it's a well made good film, and while the appeal is more on a visual scale you can still enjoy the story and pacing though I must admit it does feel that the movie is on repeat in the second half but I digress, it's a movie that probably hits the cult status more than an underrated horror classic but regardless, if older horror films specifically in black and white with more emphasis on creepy atmosphere and dark set design is your cup of tea then this is definitely a film for you. 3 stars from me, and a definite recommendation. Yet we have one more film from our renowned horror leading man, and next time we finally talk about The Wicker Man.

Howling 2: Your Sister Is A Werewolf

I kinda liked it.

I mean, it's not that good a movie if you judge it by other movies however if you go into this wanting some B-movie fun you will have a blast! So yeah, I'm reviewing the sequel to a quite good werewolf movie before the first but why? Well I wanted to showcase some lesser known horror cult hits this week and any movie that has Christopher Lee and Reb Brown in it is clearly up my alley. Yes, this story follows Christopher Lee who takes on a Van Helsing-esque part who recruits the help of the original Captain America and David Ryder himself Reb Brown to hunt down a powerful sorceress in control of a werewolf clan played by B-movie bombshell Sybil Danning. It is such a ridiculous premise it is hard not to immediately enjoy it. Where do I start? Well the film is in fact a true sequel, not so much in spirit but plot of the first Howling movie and first in a long line of 7 Howling movies each with radically different quality production and stories. The film takes a horror comedy spin on it but I assure you the comedy is completely unintentional, you just can't watch this movie with a straight face and not laugh in derision. Yet I love it, it's one of the most entertaining horror movies I've seen in awhile and it's a perfect flick for a movie night with friends and variable quantities of alcohol. I could make a drinking game around the bizarre editing choices but I'm afraid you would die of alcohol poisoning before half of the film is over. It's a strange film in terms of production, the editing keeps jumping to nonsensical shots of various things and creature effects, you hardly ever see a werewolf in full special effects glory but are instead treated to brief glimpses of transformations and out of place close up shots of the creatures which fit no scene whatsoever. It's a miracle of bad editing and composition. And yet at the same time, the movie does have decent sets and each establishing shot is done well so it's a bit of half and half. Acting is much of the same, with Christopher Lee and Sybil Danning each completely owning their parts and are completely believable as these opposing forces of good and evil. Sybil Danning is great and while she is quite beautiful her acting is still strong and is a woman I would dare not even think about crossing. Christopher Lee is excellent as always with this being his first and as far as I know last werewolf film and probably for good reason, he wasn't exactly a fan of the production and actually apologized to the director of the first Howling movie Joe Dante for being in this film, but he stuck with it and is easily the saving grace of the entire picture. Reb Brown is well Reb Brown who is here to kick ass and scream loudly, now I friggin' love Reb Brown and consider him to be the most underrated action star of all time and the movie uses him correctly, he is a werewolf killing machine and emits his thunderous warcry several times. Awesome! I will say however I think the writers got their mythos mixed up severely even though this was adapted from a novel, and no doubt incredibly loosly adapted at that because well the weapons against werewolves are....familiar. Pop quiz everyone! What do these things have in common, holy water, religious symbols, stakes, and the literal cup of Christ? That is correct, these are tools used to combat vampires! Not werewolves! Oh and just for another bonus point on our pop quiz what is the country of Transylvania most known for? If you guessed werewolves you do not get a sticky star. Was this a vampire movie beforehand and then Christopher Lee signed up and then they had to rewrite the script so it wasn't vampires? I just don't get it. This film is an absolute hot mess, and it warrants that R rating like nobody's buisness! I was honestly surprised at the amount of nudity in this movie, I mean I know horror movies especially in the 80s have a nipple shot here or there but this is pushing it to softcore spank material. It gets kinda raunchy and Sybil Danning is shown topless not once, or twice, or three times a lady, but about 19 times! Nineteen! With 17 of those times being repeated during the ending credits! It gets gratuitous and I am in no way a prude or have anything against nudity or sexual situations in film but good lord this was a lot. I don't even think I can rate the movie, because how do you judge it? On a normal basis it might get a 5/10, but if you're a fan of out there 80s horror and I do mean out there it's like a 8 or 9/10. This movie is a trip and I have no problem saying I really liked this movie, and yes I do recommend it if this sounds like your cup of tea. I've seen worse werewolf movies in my time, and especially so in the same series as this movie, so take from that what you will. I'm kinda speechless, I'm not entirely sure what I just watched but damn that soundtrack is catchy! Okay enough of that, I gotta go and I'll see you next time with uh....we'll talk about it next time.

Hugo

Random choice I know, but two points: 1. I've never seen it and 2. I was gonna review Crazy Rich Asians but that will have to wait until next week. So let's go!

It's a strange series of events in this film, centered around a young boy who lives in a train station keeping the clocks ticking who after meeting several interesting characters is uncovering a mystery with a very familiar artist to some. How the film goes from this visually stunning yet odd story to a undeniable love letter to the early days of cinema is something special. Martin Scorsese made a film with a style all it's own while paying tribute to the artists who made it possible for such a film to even exist. The cast is quite good, Asa Butterfield is a fine lead and carries the film almost singlehandedly with the innocence and wonder of a child yet goes much deeper the more you learn about him. Chloe Grace Moretz yet again proves age does not matter when it comes to acting and gives a more quiet yet enthusiastic performance. We have Ben Kingsley as a toymaker and does his usual fine work, and even dear Christopher Lee as a librarian who I single out as the true force that makes the film continue is wonderful to see like always. I took seeing this movie on pure chance and I was not disappointed, I appreciated the dreamlike yet still grounded visual style, the love and respect for silent cinema filmmakers, and being very accurate to real time periods. The film takes place in 1931 and not just the style of clothing but the atmosphere, and telling of past events before and after the Great War help the film a lot in terms of setting and characters. I must admit I have more respect for this film than love, though I did enjoy it very much. How a group of people already created an interesting story but went further and tied it into a medium that's been around for more than a hundred years surprised me and I was proud of myself knowing some bits of past cinema history. A very good film, a fine tribute to the past, and a good end to a let's be honest, a week that has been in shambles. I can't even remember the last time I only got 2 reviews out in the course of a week. I sincerely hope next week fares better for me, and with the schedule I created for December I should be fine for most of the month. Soon another year will be upon us, with new films, old films, a month of horrors, and a even more terrifying month of horrors. But that is a event for another time. Give me strength to weather Christmas....

The Mummy (1959)

And here we are, at the end of another horror filled month of reviews. And how better to end where we began?

The Mummy, one of Hammer's finest movies combining the best elements from all previous Mummy movies before it, specifically the Universal Mummy movies into one excellent film. The plot is very similar to the Boris Karloff Mummy movie, explorers discover the tomb of an Egyptian princess Ananka which is percieved by protectors of the tomb as sacrilege so they ressurect her high priest Kharis played by Christopher Lee to seek vengeance on those who raided her resting place. Peter Cushing plays the son of one of the explorers, and must stop the ancient Mummy from spilling more blood. This movie, Curse Of Frankenstein, and Horror Of Dracula are the prime examples of Hammer horror and must be seen by any horror fan. The sets are excellent, the acting is fantastic and played by the best actors Britain had to offer, the story is timeless though set near the beginning of the 20th century, and I don't think I need to say this is the greatest Mummy movie ever made. Peter Cushing is a brilliant lead that plays the part with great conviction and style, while Christopher Lee though a mere pawn in the game has such emotion purely through his eyes and you feel immense sympathy for his character. The bits of action are quite good too, fully taking advantage of the set pieces and are there to progress the story but are great spectacle too. It even has a bit of romance in it, which is a common theme with the more classic monsters, the monster seeks a young woman to have and to hold till death do they part. Such emotion is severely lacking in modern horror movies today, you can feel a wide range of emotion other than just fear and shock, which is what sets classic horror so high in the eyes of this humble reviewer. The Mummy is a first rate thriller, deserving of every ounce of praise it gathered after the almost 60 years since it first hit theaters.

Thank you for joining me this month and I sincerely hope you find great enjoyment in these films, as I did. It's always such a joy to discuss horror movies this most wonderful time of the year. Oh, and.....Happy Halloween.

The Curse Of Frankenstein

How do you remake one of the most classic and recognizable horror films ever made?

Curse Of Frankenstein was the first in a long run of Hammer movies centering around Dr. Frankenstein played to perfection by Peter Cushing that took the enormous responsibility of retelling the classic story of a scientist who tried to be God and create a man that was in truth a monster. This film should be applauded because, the movie was in the shadow of the Universal classic, and tried to do it's own thing and in my opinion, it did it in aces. This film is great, with the same production level of other Hammer films and alumni actors who still give in excellent performances. Peter Cushing is our star, and this series of movie explains why he wasn't in all but 3 of the Hammer Dracula movies, because he was too busy being the greatest Dr. Victor Frankenstein ever potrayed on screen, even today. You believe his obsession with his work, and can be genuinely horrified by his actions in this and future films. What's interesting is the movie is told through flashback, with Victor in a prison cell retelling the story we all know, and there's a reason why the story is told this way but it's not obvious until the end. This was also the first movie where Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee shared the same scenes in the same movie, and it's because of this movie that they are both the horror stars we know today, and the year after this movie came out in 1957, Horror Of Dracula was made, so really the most succesful and quite even arguably best remakes in film history all spanned from this movie. Not a lot of recognition and love is shown for Hammer horror films even today, unless you're knee deep in horror like myself, so I found it very important and fun to talk about these movies. This is a very important chapter in horror movie history that deserves more recognition and respect, so that's why I chose these series of movies for this year. And we're gonna take em' one by one until the end of the week. See you then!

The Satanic Rights Of Dracula

I apologize for this review being late, we had a bit of a crisis at home and let's just say it was busy.

Let me tell you there's a reason this is not only the last Hammer Dracula movie but also this is the only movie to slip into the public domain, that's right Hammer doesn't even want anything to do with it and for good reason. The Satanic Rights Of Dracula is without a doubt the weakest of the series, because it doesn't even focus on Dracula! The whole movie is just boring and they threw in elements of spy movie stuff, occult sacrifices, and crime drama and threw it in with Dracula, with very lengthy talking scenes and very little else. Peter Cushing is in most of it which is great obviously, but he's mainly used for exposition but I can listen to him talk all day so I can kinda let that slide. Dracula is barely in the movie, showing up randomly and having very little to do until the last 20 minutes. In fact the only real reason you should watch the movie is the last 20 or so minutes. The final confrontation between Van Helsing and Dracula is outstanding, with Christopher Lee having a full blown monologue before the fight erupts and it is glorious. I would talk about the plot, but I can't figure it out, it's just a series of incidents and exposition. There's actually one more good scene in the movie but only because it's just odd. So basically Van Helsing is trying to find Dracula, and for some reason he turns up at this building and meets this guy who is so obviously Dracula, but the part that interests me is he kinda talks like Bela Lugosi! His dialect and accent heavily reminds me of Bela Lugosi, and it's just odd to hear Christopher Lee talk in such a way but I strangely find it kinda neat. Bottom line, stay away from this movie, just watch the last 20 minutes or so.

Okay so tomorrow, we look at one more Hammer series and let me tell you, it will be awesome.

Dracula A.D. 1972

Behold! The underrated classic of the Hammer Dracula movies!

You either look at this movie and say it's one of the worst or one of the best. Me personally? I love it! It's my 2nd favorite Dracula movie from Hammer, next to Horror Of Dracula. And it doesn't take anytime to kick off the right way, opening scene is a fight between Van Helsing and Dracula and that's how you announce Peter Cushing is finally back. Then we jump ahead 100 years, in 1972 with bellbottoms, teenagers grooving with some funk music, and shenanigans. We're introduced to Jessica Van Helsing played to greatness by Stephanie Beacham, granddaughter of this generation's Professor Van Helsing. And it must be noted it is so wonderful to have Peter back, he plays the part wonderfully as always, combining occult expert but now bringing in a new dynamic with a granddaughter that I have to say is super sweet to see. You get the feeling he loves and cares for his granddaughter deeply as she does for him, which never ceases to make me smile. Christopher Lee is very good as always, and though he doesn't have much screen time it's still great and he has some dialogue, good dialogue even. And now I can definitively say, this movie has the best ressurection scene in all of the Hammer Dracula movies, you can see the sheer fear on people's faces and the atmosphere is doomy and dark. Surprisingly, even though the film takes place in the 70s the gothic and creepy sets are ever present, and I noticed there is a lot of great sets, really good use of camera angles, the colors are bright and vibrant (Again, the 70s.) which clash with the dark and gloomy sets, the music is funky and I love it, you can really enjoy this movie. There might not be much in terms of plot, but the characters and the action is fantastic, and the final fight between Van Helsing and Dracula is very good with tension and there's this one scene where you really see the hate and passion to kill Van Helsing in Dracula's eyes, it's one of my favorite scenes of the entire series. For a movie with the title of Dracula A.D. 1972 you would expect a ridiculous, cheesy, not even slightly good movie but the movies is great compared to others, it took a chance by setting it in the then modern day but it paid off, at the very least for me. I love this movie, it's just a really damn good movie and I doubt many people have seen this movie. I really have to say give it a shot.

Scars Of Dracula

For the 5th movie in a series, this one isn't terrible.

In the 70s, Hammer was running low on ideas for movie, so they rebooted the Frankenstein and Dracula movies, although to be honest most of the movies had loose continuity to begin with, and yet for some weird ass reason the movie starts with a ressurection scene that is absolutely terrible in every sense of the word. So Dracula is back, and our main hero named Paul (It's always Paul! Was that your favorite name Hammer Studios??) is just sort of meandering about until he just so happens to turn up at Dracula's castle, then we pick up with his girlfriend and brother as they try to locate him. Basically, it's like Psycho but with gothic sets, a 19th century look and feel to it all, and vampires. If that sounds like your kind of movie great, but for me this is by no means a bad movie but not one I hold highly to the others. I mean the best scene in the movie is so just right the hell out of nowhere, doesn't make any sense, but it will shock you. And not the way you expect. Totally not even going to hint at what it is. You just gotta see this stuff to believe it. I have to say, since the movie takes place for the most part at Dracula's castle you get two things in great supplement: outstanding gloomy, gothic sets, and more Christopher Lee screen time and he does speak in good length too so that's always great. The ending is just as absurd as the beginning so take from it what you will. Not terribly bad, but not excellent either. No that honor goes to the next film in the series.

Taste The Blood Of Dracula

Yet another awesome title.

So picking up after the events of the last, Taste The Blood Of Dracula is a decent sequel, not bad not great but good. The plot starts off with three very wealthy men who are fed up of the same routine and wish for something more, they meet this awesomely insane guy played by Ralph Bates who shares the idea of, "Hey wanna go ressurect Dracula?" to which they say, "Yeah sure." (You can tell they're wise men.) and so they do in now that I've rewatched it again, a better ressurection scene than in Prince Of Darkness, it really builds that atmosphere of stuff is about to get dark real quick. I love it. So Dracula is back, huzzah! And Christopher Lee has a bit of dialogue, huzzah! Let the seduction of women begin, and the inevitable death of our favorite bloodsucker. The most shocking part of the movie is Dracula really isn't the worst bad guy in this movie, it's one of the men who participated in the ressurection and father of our hero's love interest. This guy is just a bastard, a cruel, vicious, abusive man who I honestly wished got a worse demuse than he did. Our hero is named Paul, yeah the name of our last hero but tottaly different guy, he's not bad in the role but my God do they try to sell this romance, like okay guys we get it. You love each other. Now where's Chris? So yeah, it's a decent sequel, I'd rank it somewhere in the middle of the series. So tomorrow we move on to a Dracula movie that I honestly do not remember much about, so we'll see how that goes.

Dracula Has Risen From The Grave

That's a great title by the way. Love that title.

So this particular Dracula movie takes place a year after the last with Dracula being buried under ice when a monsignor visits the town and investigates the ruins of his castle, through one of many inexplicable ressurections in the coming future the Count is ressurected and seeks after the monsignor's niece played by Veronica Carlson. Meanwhile, we meet our main hero Paul played by Barry Andrew who I have to say is the second best hero in this series besides Van Helsing, he's just a normal nice guy who gets swept up in all this and has to deal with Dracula to save his girlfriend even though he is an atheist which I think raises the stakes very nicely. And I think because of our heroes in this movie, it makes this particular movie one of the best in the lineup. All the elements from previous Dracula movies are here, excellent set design reminiscent of The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari, Christopher Lee is a straight up pimp in this movie, the music is great, and the blood is increased greatly and I love how ridiculously red the blood is in these Hammer films. One thing that must be mentioned is Christopher Lee has a surprising amount of dialogue, though most of the time he can really speak through his body language but it's great to hear him in this. And guess what? This movie was rated G by the MPAA! What?? A horror movie that is rated G, I cannot believe it. So the next time your 3 year old niece is over, show her this movie! What were they thinking??! But all in all, it's one of the better movies to be sure, and the next one isn't half bad either. Until then....

Dracula Prince Of Darkness

I can't believe it took 8 years to get a sequel to the first Hammer Dracula movie. You think they would get right on that, but better late than never.

So how's the sequel? Ehhhh, not great. Not terrible but kinda boring. The plot follows a group of travellers that happen across Dracula's castle, what follows is an excellent ressurection scene that builds the tension wonderfully, and Christopher Lee is on the hunt again. It must be said that Christopher Lee from beginning to end is a mute monster, he hated the dialogue which is a shame because he really is a terrific Dracula. The best character in the movie is our replacement Van Helsing, Peter Cushing will be absent for most of the future sequels due to him being in the Hammer Frankenstein movies, and honestly he's awesome. A gun toting, wise, no nonsense, kickass cleric, now that's what you need in your party! The rest of the cast is the absolute worst most boring dredge you can possibly imagine, it's slabs of meat heading for the meat grinder, no character, no motivation, just boring. So yeah, not really a great or even really good sequel, but they pick up in the next installment. So until then dear friends...

Horror Of Dracula

Good God I forgot how great this movie is!

Yes, the film that made Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing the horror stars they are today, Horror Of Dracula was the first of a long running series of horror films produced by Hammer Studios in England. To my knowledge the first Dracula movie in color, and it is a sight to behold. While the plot is basic, just a retelling of the Bram Stoker novel, what the film excels in is rich visual appeal with lavish sets and costumes, great acting especially by Peter Cushing, and for a movie that's not even an hour and a half it moves at a great pace. In fact, this movie is one of those films where every scene is crucial, you cannot cut a thing out of this movie because it would hurt the film. Terence Fisher did a great job with this movie, it's gothic sets are incredible to look at, the music is used for dramatic effect which enhances the movie significantly, for a movie from 1959 it holds up because it's more or less a period piece around the late 1800s. I don't know, there's just so much good stuff in this movie. The only bad thing I can say about this movie is it takes place in Germany without a doubt but everyone, and I do mean everyone hails from Britain but honestly that's it. Christopher Lee is a fantastic Dracula and seriously has an imposing presence on the screen, Peter Cushing is by far the best Van Helsing ever potrayed on screen and plays it with sophistication and class, and it shows a lot more than in any vampire movie before. Since it was close to the 60s, censors were less uptight so now there was blood, cleavage, and two very graphic staking scenes. You know how I said before the music was used for dramatic effect? I can pinpoint the exact scene to back up my claim, it's where we see our first stake through the heart. The music builds with tension and horror as you see the open graves of Dracula and his bride, Jonathan Harker prepares to kill them and then the music goes deathly quiet. There's barely a sound, which builds the tension cause you know what he's about to do but it still is done, and it is not quick or quiet when he does so, the only sounds you hear are the hammer smashing the stake into a heart and screaming. It's very hard to watch because it's surprisingly realistic, it's not just one hit and they are dead, it takes multiple strikes and the blood is minimal but highly effective, and it happens not once but twice. For 1959 this was some serious hardcore stuff, and it still kinda is. There's no stunning visuals or ridiculous amounts of gore and blood, hell you barely even see the actual staking but the picture that your mind paints is much more effective than what the screen could ever show you. Horror Of Dracula is the best of the Hammer Dracula movies and should be seen by any horror fan, especially if you have great love and admiration for the classics like I do. Great film, great actors, and there is more to come in the days to follow.

Corpse Bride

Think of this as a preview to when I come back....

Corpse Bride is a lovely movie, one of Tim Burton's finest in the field of his animated works. The story follows a young man named Victor who is set to marry a girl named Victoria, but through a serious misunderstanding and pure accident he marries a corpse. Yes, a children's movie with serious necrophilic undertones that is still charming and quite lovely. Go figure. The first thing I gotta say is the animation is excellent, with gothic and german expressionist buildings, great use of color, and wonderful cinematography. It does have a few songs, and they are all good but my favorite song in the movie has no singing in it, it's a simple piano duet but it's just awesome. A clever aspect of the film you will notice very quickly is the use of color. In the land of the living it's almost monochrome in color with shades of blue, while the land of the dead is colorful with vibrant greens, and pinks, and violets. It's mixed very well and states that the land of the living well...sucks. It's drab, it's boring, and colorless but the underworld rocks it's like a party everyday down there, with lots of fun and interesting characters! Character wise it does good, it's not perfect but you can tell they tried, with almost everybody's favorite character being the titular corpse bride, Emily. She's just a sweet, caring, lovely girl, and has a good sense of humor. Obviously she has the most character development and personality in the entire movie, you really latch onto her quick and care about her situation all throughout the movie. And...she deserves to be with Victor! I don't hate Victoria, I really don't! She's a nice, normal girl, I have nothing against her but Emily and Victor just make a better couple. They're a good couple together! You wouldn't think so but you enjoy their relationship and want them to go the distance. Now for the other characters there's not much to say, but there are three in there that are my favorites, we got Michael Gough as an all wise skeleton and how could you go wrong with that? Michael Gough is awesome. Then we have Christopher Lee as a priest, it's a short role but he still commands such a presence. And last but not least is a maggot who sounds like Peter Lorre. I'm not on drugs or anything, that exists in the movie. This has always been an enjoyable movie for me because of how much charm and lovely things are in there, plus it has some great dark humor I mean I laugh my ass off at parts, it's kind of hard not to. All together, it's a lovely little movie well worth a look if you have the time.

Well that's it for today. Tune in tomorrow for a different and unexpected damn good movie.

The Two Towers

So our story continues with a fantastic sequel!

The Two Towers is a great follow up to Fellowship Of The Ring, adding more awesome characters and even better action sequences. So sadly the fellowship has split, Sam and Frodo are continuing toward Mordor and Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are tracking down the Uruk-Hai which leads them into the land of Rohan where we meet several new, but still interesting characters and they get swept up in this fight against Saruman's forces and this is where Christopher Lee really gets to shine! He is the main bad guy of this particular movie, and I love that because he is the man. There's so many great scenes in this movie, my favorite probably being besides the battle of Helms Deep, the very much exorcism like scene with King Theoden because it has just great writing, perfect music, and a battle of wills which I have always enjoyed in films. Andy Serkis playing Gollum is pretty much the reason you need to see this movie, and he got snubbed out of an Academy Award for best supporting actor because he was all CGI in the film! Everything you loved about the first Lord Of The Rings film is in this and it adds more to the world and the characters as it should, but it does it with more refined ways of filmmaking so of course the film itself is presented better than the first. I could just spout off trivia left, right, and center on these movies like how Christopher Lee actually met J.R.R. Tolkien and was one of the fountains of knowledge while filming, Viggo Mortensen actually broke his toe when he kicked a helmet so his yell was real, and how they changed several things from the book but I won't get into that cause honestly the changes that they made did not hurt the film. The extended cut gives more character development to both old and new characters, with more interesting insight into the world of Middle-Earth, and it almost clocks the movie in at about 4 hours. So have fun with that! I'll get back to you tomorrow with the last Lord Of The Rings film.

The Fellowship Of The Ring

What the hell? You're reviewing Lord Of The Rings when Star Wars is coming out this week?! I already did Star Wars, so just read my reviews on those then go see the new movie, then get back to me and read these reviews during the holidays.

So why exactly am I reviewing The Lord Of The Rings movies? Well to be perfectly honest I got so used to a new Hobbit movie every December, and the actual meaning of the movies is companionship, loyalty, and friendship, qualities found in this world especially around Christmas time. I'm actually going to review the extended cuts of these movies cause they are the only true way you can watch The Lord Of The Rings movies. Needless to say I am a huge fan of these movies, have been since 2001 and it does not take long to get you interested. Just the opening sequence hooks you, and not once does it get slow, it keeps a steady and interesting pace. It gives you plenty of time to get to know the characters and the world. It is an epic tale of a Ring Of Power that if not destroyed can plunge Middle-Earth into eternal darkness, so it is up to our heroes to destroy it before it is too late. The term perfect cast has never ever been more true than with this cast, Elijah Wood is the only Frodo Baggins ever, Ian McKellen is wise and friendly as Gandalf the Grey, Orlando Bloom is nothing to me but Legolas he just has the physique of an Elf, friggin' Christopher Lee (God bless him) is pure menace as Saruman the White, just to name a few and everybody is so perfect. New Zealand is the most fitting backdrop for Middle-Earth on this planet, and I need to visit there one day. The music by Howard Shore just...my God. The best examples of it are actually the songs with singing in Tolkien's Elvish and the Black Speech of Mordor. I would recommend watching the theatrical cut and if you loved it enough to view the extended cut, it adds to the movie in every sense of the word. Every thing they added makes the movie better to the point where, really it kind of ruins the theatrical cut because of the lack of the additional scenes. It makes the film better in my eyes, but the theatrical cut is still a great film on it's own but the extended cut is leaps and bounds better. If you think you are hardcore enough and want to jump right into the extended cut alone, you rock! You will greatly enjoy it and it will not hurt you if you have never read the books written by J.R.R Tolkien, cause I haven't read the books. Not yet anyway and I still praise the movie and can't wait to read them. Even if you know nothing about Lord Of The Rings, the film, either cuts of it will fill you in. It is a very accessible movie to non-fans which is good if you feel that you might not have the proper beforehand knowledge and might find it a bit daunting. Anyone can watch this movie so have no fear. I hope you enjoy it, and you can find the extended editions just about anywhere, probably cheaper now than they were when first released and the best part is it includes both cuts of the movie and not just the extended cuts. So tune in tomorrow where we continue the trilogy.

Revenge Of The Sith

Woohoo! Last movie of Star Wars week and what a way to end, to review the only good prequel movie! Now all I have to do is wait until December to review The Force Awakens.




Alright, there is a hell of a lot to cover in this movie so I will relay all the important details. The Clone Wars are finally coming to an end. The separatists have kidnapped the Chancellor and are holding him captive on their star ship, so Anakin and Obi-Wan who have become greater friends over the time between the last movie are sent to rescue him. They face off with Count Dooku for the last time and Anakin kills him by the order of the Chancellor. They return the Chancellor back to Coruscant and Anakin learns some very important news, Padme is pregnant. But soon Anakin is having terrible dreams about the death of his wife and promises her to save her by any means necessary. Afterwards Palpatine entrusts Anakin to be his representative on the Jedi Council, and the Council asks Anakin to spy on Palpatine, later Anakin attends an opera with Palpatine where he tells him of an old Sith legend about a Sith Lord who actually had the power to save people from death, Anakin asks if it is possible to learn this power, but the Chancellor tells him it cannot be learned from a Jedi. Meanwhile Obi-Wan has tracked down the general of the droid army to the planet of Utapau, where when he destroys the general the war will finally be over. Palpatine finally reveals to Anakin that he himself is a Sith Lord and can teach him how to save his wife, but Anakin warns the Council of Palpatine's deception and they send four Jedi masters to confront and arrest the Sith Lord. Anakin intervenes at the last second before Mace Windu kills Darth Sidious, slicing Windu's hand off and watching as Sidious kills him. He then pledges himself to Darth Sidious and gains his new title, Darth Vader and his first orders are to destroy the Jedi Temple and kill all the Jedi within it. Darth Sidious then deploys Order 66 which turns all of the clone troopers on their Jedi generals killing all of them. Master Yoda and Obi-Wan go to the temple and see the damage that has been done, and find Anakin to be the cause of all this destruction and death. Lord Vader then travels to the fiery lava world of Mustafar where he murders all of the separatist leaders, now with no opposition to his power Darth Sidious forms the first Galactic Empire, and deeming himself The Emperor of the galaxy. Obi-Wan confronts Padme of her husband's horrible deeds and tells her that he must kill him. Padme soon travels to Mustafar with Obi-Wan hiding on the ship. Padme confronts Anakin and sees how far he has truly fallen, he then chokes her almost to death but Obi-Wan soon stops him and they have a final duel on the planet. Meanwhile Master Yoda fights with Darth Sidious in the senate, Yoda failing to defeat The Emperor he forces himself into exile on the planet Dagobah. The powerful duel between Obi-Wan and Anakin continues on and on until Obi-Wan gains the upper hand and cuts Anakin's left arm and both legs off and sees him being burned alive on the gravel and ash filled land, taking Anakin's lightsaber before leaving with Padme. Padme gives birth to twins, Luke and Leia, and Anakin Skywalker completes his transformation into Darth Vader when his mutilated body is given cybernetic limbs and his body is encased in a black suit of armor complete with life support. Darth Sidious removes the last bits of Vader's humanity by telling him that he killed his wife. The Jedi decide it to be best for the twins to be separated to keep them safe from the Empire. And the Empire begins construction of the first Death Star. This is without a doubt the best film of the prequel trilogy, mainly because it just gets back to the original trilogy at the end. The acting is fantastic, everyone does a great job bringing the darkest of the Star Wars movies to new heights. The action is the best of the entire prequel trilogy, the final fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan is a sight to behold with so much raw power and emotion going into the fight. The fall of the Jedi and the rise of the Sith is everything I wanted it to be and it does not disappoint in the slightest. Anakin's transformation in to the dark lord of the Sith, Darth Vader is the only reason the entire prequel trilogy was made, which makes you wonder why we even have the first and second movies other than to establish how the Republic fell and how the Empire began. If there is one single movie you should watch from the prequel trilogy it is hands down, Revenge Of The Sith. I cannot recommend it enough, don't watch the first two movies, watch episodes three through six and then join us all around Christmas to witness the continuation of the Star Wars saga.

Attack Of The Clones

Well this movie is slightly better than The Phantom Menace. But not by much.




So this installment of the Star Wars saga takes place ten years after The Phantom Menace, and surprisingly....not much has happened. Anakin has gotten older, he's still a Padawan. Obi-Wan is now almost a Jedi master. Padme is no longer a queen and yet everyone still calls her milady for some reason, and she hasn't aged at all she looks the same as she did from the last movie. The Republic has encountered a bit of a problem, a separatist organization has been created and now the Republic is almost on the verge of war. And the separatists have tried to assassinate Padme, so she has to be guarded by Obi-Wan and Anakin, whose relationship has certainly changed in the past ten years. They are good friends but they still have the master-apprentice relationship, which cause friction as Anakin is acting very self absorbed and feels like his master is holding him back. So they figure out a bounty hunter was sent to kill Padme so they have to split up, Obi-Wan starts his search for the mysterious bounty hunter, and Anakin has to protect Padme and return her to her home planet of Naboo. Soon Obi-Wan discovers who the bounty hunter is and travels to the world of Kamino where he also discovers that a clone army has been produced for the Republic from the DNA of the bounty hunter Jango Fett the father of Boba Fett. Meanwhile on Naboo a romance starts to blossom between Anakin and Padme and really I could care less. I know it's important to the characters and the story but really it's just tedious and boring. It reminds me of Bella and Edward's romance in Twilight, and that makes me sick to my stomach, but we will get to the Twilight movies in good time! So anyway, Obi-Wan tracks Jango to the planet of Geonosis and gets captured and has a brief chat with Count Dooku played masterfully by Christopher Lee who is the saving grace of this movie! Seriously, what is with these prequel movies and the only thing I truly love about them is the secondary Sith Lord? Speaking of Sith Lords, Count Dooku reveals to Obi-Wan that the senate of the Republic is under control of a Sith Lord by the name of Darth Sidious. Yes, yes, politicians are evil. Ha ha! Moving on...Anakin has horrible visions of his mother dying so he goes to Tatooine to try and find her, but finds it's too late and she dies in his arms. They soon receive a pre-recorded message form Obi-Wan telling them of the planet Geonosis, so they travel there to save him only to be captured themselves. Meanwhile in the senate, emergency powers are given to Chancellor Palpatine to use the clone army to fight the separatists. So they quickly rush over to Geonosis to capture their leaders and save our heroes. The battle is successful but Dooku gets away so our Jedi knights track him down and fight him. The fights in this movie are really good! Even though the duel with Dooku is short, it's still very good primarily for one reason, we get to see Yoda pull out his lightsaber and fight! Are you kidding me? And he's like lightning quick, he's doing all these flips and tricks, it's unbelievable! I'd say watch the movie just for that! But the fight doesn't go good for our heroes, Anakin gets his right arm cut off, him and Obi-Wan are nearly crushed by a pillar which Yoda stops but gives enough time for Dooku to escape the planet. So Anakin gets a robot arm and even secretly marries Padme even though they've known each other for a couple of days, maybe a week at best. Seriously, they meet up after ten years, travel to Naboo, hang out and build their horribly written romance for a few days, go to Tatooine and bury Anakin's mother and then go to Geonosis to help Obi-Wan and then they are sooo deeply in love they get married. Blah, blah blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. Just wake me up when we see Yoda fight.


Alright! We get to look at Revenge Of The Sith tomorrow! I love that movie. Can't wait!