Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Did you notice I didn't say his name three times in the last review? This ain't my first rodeo.

Okay then! I really don't know where to start with this honestly. When I first heard news of getting Beetlejuice 2 I wasn't fist pumping in victory or groaning in defeat, I was more curious if anything to see it and now that I finally have I am pretty happy to have watched it. It's a busy movie that almost makes the first one seem tame as we catch up with the Deetz' as Charles passes away, we get introduced to Lydia's daughter Astrid, and Mr. Juice is making moves in the world of the living to keep away from his psycho ex-wife. Shit happens. I am thrilled that it undoubtedly is a movie that just kinda does it's own thing, the nods and callbacks are there but there is way more new stuff to where it's not nostalgia shipping, it's very much a take it or leave it film and is unapologetic in how it tells the story. I respect such films. It was a lot of fun to see Michael, Winona, and Catherine back prominently and they haven't lost their edge. First bloody words out of Lydia and I was like damn she's still got it, and to see her very much having a midlife crisis with so much that has happened before and during this movie is understandable and it makes sense having her as the protagonist. Catherine O'Hara I feel is even funnier than the first, still a drama queen but a queen nonetheless! And well I'm a fucking mark for Michael Keaton and I sure as hell ain't gonna bash him here, they go more out there with Beetlejuice than even I thought possible but he pulls it off with a lot of humor and personality. All the new additions are equally welcome in my opinion, Jenna Ortega is a good balance playing a straightforward no bullshit teenager thrown in the mix of all this paranormal nonsense and I liked her avenue through the story. Justin Theroux is an oddball in this movie but may kinda sorta possibly be the funniest character in the movie, I dare say it's campy but not at all in a negative light. I honestly forgot Willem Dafoe was in this and though it's a bit part undoubtedly, the amount of character and this offshoot in the world of the dead was a nice surprise. I do however give just a teeny bit of good grief to this movie, Monica Belluci babe you need a better agent. I'm always so thrilled to see her in movies and then she's there for like 10 minutes and I'm just adoring the design of her character Delores and just wanted more. I'm not saying...cause that would be weird, but I'm just saying even stapled together the woman is a work of art. Moving swiftly on! The production design hasn't lost it's touch and is able to do much more with modern filmmaking, just to see more of the town in that exquisite fall atmosphere needless to say made me a happy camper! The humor hit more often than not from chuckles to wheezing guffaws even if it got weird at times. Though side note, maaaan this movie is gruesome when it wants to be like you wouldn't think this movie would have a fair share of blood and gnarly ass effects but you see blood spurts, exposed brains a plenty, and inventive background deceased characters that kinda wowed me. It's an odd sequel to an odd movie but entertaining regardless and I think even if you're a hardcore fan or just a casual moviegoer you can dig it. I give it 3 stars, 8/10, and with a title like that it's no mystery we are getting a third. Never thought this would be a trilogy but life can surprise you more often than you think.

And this is gonna be the start of a brief detour for me for the next few weeks, but I shall return before the end of September as always. It really is the deadest month for films, until then keep it real.

Beetlejuice

What the hell have I been doing for the past 9 years?? It worked out in the end but Christ!

I would have bet any amount of money I already reviewed Beetlejuice in the past, shit I've watched the movie several times since this shindig has started but never wrote a review. So how on earth do I sum up the plot of Beetlejuice? It's rather involved and has variety if nothing else. Centered around an everyday normal couple Barbara and Adam whose lives are cut short soon find themselves having to acclimate to the world of the afterlife, taking up haunting their house as new residents arrive but with no avail as a young girl takes a liking to their strange and unusual company. Enter our eponymous character as a proclaimed bio-exorcist who aids or more rather terrorizes both parties, leading to them trying to get the metaphorical genie back in the bottle. I haven't the foggiest idea how or why I got this tape before I even hit maybe even double digits so I've been a fan of this movie for quite some time, it was easy enough to roll with and it made me laugh. No friggin' clue either how Tim Burton got anyone to sign off on this or even sell it but it was a pretty big hit in 1988 and clearly has left an impact on pop culture in the 36 years since. The imagination of the world and the creativity to make that world real truly must be applauded, I wish I was that creative to come up with some of the imagery seen here. From waiting rooms of various deceased people, to sand worms on Saturn, to a spontaneous calypso dance performance it's kind of a marvel how unforgettable this movie is. But I think I can narrow it down to why, there just isn't anything else like it. I really love the cast here, with a script this broad the actors are that tether to grounding it so it isn't utter madness from start to finish. Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin are a really cute couple who navigate through the comedy and scares seamlessly, and you do want the best outcome for them. Winona Ryder as Lydia has become a cornerstone of goth culture and weird girls globally but she actually plays it pretty straight and humble, she's got some teenage attitude but is very likeable and is a breath of fresh air to see a more positive interaction with ghosts. And of course now comes the part where we get to talk about Michael Keaton and holy cow do I wish him and Tim made a lot more movies together! He really is one hell of a versatile actor and can somehow take this wise ass, slobbish, and pretty perverted character yet still make him enjoyable to watch! By all accounts we should despise this guy but iconic, quotable, and hilarious are the words that spring to mind when I see him. Shoutout also of course to Catherine, Jeffrey, and Glenn who fit just right in this movie and help make it better than it already was. The production design and special effects are half the fun of the film in my opinion mixing the mundane with the marvellously macabre, it just covers all the bases. Visually striking sets, prosthetics, creature effects with costumes and stop motion, it's a home run in that department. The score by Danny Elfman strikes that mischievous and eerie quality, not my favorite soundtrack of his filmography but a very good one nevertheless. It's just an entertaining and very funny movie, not in an overtly comedic way where they set stuff up for a joke a minute it's more natural in the dialogue, but hey it certainly works for me. I wish I could say it works for everyone, I won't divulge the name of the hapless dipshit who made the equation of weird=bad in their final thoughts on this film but I burned the bridge with them on it and never looked back. This is a great, odd, funny movie that hasn't lost a smidge of it's luster in the 20 years I have viewed it. 4 stars, 8/10, and boy howdy let me tell you I never thought the day would come where a sequel would be made so stay tuned for that!

Argylle

Okay you got me. More different than you would expect.

I'll give credit where it's due, Matthew Vaughn knows the movies he is good at making and keeps doing them, even if he adds a lemon twist to some. Argylle couldn't be more of a twist if it tried. I'm not sure if the movie is a legit adaptation of a book or series of books but boy would I be interested to pick up one of those. Following the massive shift in lifestyle choice from quiet and simple book writer to full blown espionage agent, Elly Conway meets up with an unexpected ally named Aidan intent on keeping her safe as it appears that life is truly stranger than fiction when the pages of her recent novel are occuring in reality. I'll admit the trailer does a mighty good job making you want to see the film, because you're just wondering what in the flying pink pachyderms is going on here?? Pretty much the line, "You're a goddamn fortune teller Elly. Everything you wrote down has happened." and you wanna know why! You get your answers for sure, this ain't no bait and switch or come to your own conclusions, but maaaaan I really cannot talk about shit here. I am wandering amidst a minefield of spoilers! There are more twists than a contortionist at the circus, and granted I didn't call them from a mile away but I did call some a smidge before they happened. And while the film has flourishes of comedy, the actors commit full force and do mighty good work. Bryce Dallas Howard is truly the star of the picture, and my God does the woman act realistic in these batshit situations showcasing a lot of emotion and quick breathless line reads, she fully nails this performance to the max! Of course seeing Sam Rockwell is a treat and to know he is a legit spy but nowhere near as dashing I rather appreciate, him and Bryce have good chemistry and they are a duet through the vast majority of the film. Plus any excuse to see him bust a move is Kino. I actually expected Bryan Cranston to be the head of this government secret service but to see him as the villain was cool and while he doesn't quite get the material of espionage elite villains like Auric Goldfinger or Ernst Stavro Blofeld he works just fine. I kinda knew Henry Cavill was really just gonna be seen here and there and far from the focus but the way they incorporate his scenes in the world of the book was done rather uniquely. And I need to shoutout my gurl, the one and only, the lovely lady woman I have missed for literal years Sofia Boutella, it's been too damn long in my opinion and she's exactly how I remember her. I seriously need this damn movie to hit video quick because I need to break this down! The only thing that I could give away and that's if a very very select few individuals catch my drift here, if you are familiar with Star Wars games from the early to mid 2000s...they go there. Go see it. It's a weird movie that kinda flips the spy genre on it's head, but you have to make your own conclusion on it. The only real negative I could say and this is probably just me but this movie gets fuggin' silly. I mean ludicrous to the point of stupidity. I never thought in a trillion years I would use the words sappy or downright saccharine to explain a ffffffudge packing firefight, in fact it's probably the biggest action setpiece of the films and you know, as a lover of the lavishly ludicrous....it went too far. Dare I say jumping the shark. But you know what? It commited to that vision, it didn't hold back or apologize, and it certainly didn't give a rat's ass what I thought about it either. And the movie has that more tongue in cheek Roger Moore style of James Bond movies with the crazy gadgets, lighter tone, and essentially is a sweet distraction for an hour or two. So hey man, just because that one detail threw me off my game doesn't mean somebody else can't love it. It isn't a bad film, it's got a solid foundation with a lot of good elements on top of it even if it has it's more hokey moments. I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10! New month already and we got a few more new releases before shifting gears back closer to normal.

Home Alone 2

I think because of both of these movies I always watch where I'm stepping all the time.

I'm not doing a plot synopsis, I think even the director admitted it was just a bigger remake of the first one, substitute being home alone with accidentaly travelling to New York, and you pretty much got the same movie with some fine additions. So let's talk about them! I love seeing New York, you get some fantastic scenery and tons of locations to see. The traps are even more inventive and somehow even more lethal than before, with a welcome return of the paint buckets but I love the new additions. And of course every bad thing I could say about this movie like the almost egregious whoring out to the Talkboy, or the exact same scary force turned friend like in the last film, or how the actor playing Kevin's dad is the most boring and phoned in trite I have ever seen in a performance despite one really funny bit, or even how carbon copy the plot is has some really outstanding bits to counter it. Like I love the owner of this toy store Kevin visits, he is one of the nicest characters I've ever seen in film he's just so nice and his voice is the cheeriest elderly voice I've ever heard and ack, it just brings me such joy. Yes they have yet another Marley character named Pigeon Lady, seriously you couldn't even name her? You had to be so lazy you couldn't even name her character Tilly or Annabelle or some nice old fashioned name? But I'll be damned, they have yet another copied scene where they sit and talk and share parts of their lives and while it doesn't have that absolutely outstanding atmosphere and sweet simplicity, the writing is absurdly good in that scene, it goes a bit deeper than the previous one and really showed why John Hughes was still a great writer even after his 80s hits. I've never heard anyone talk about it before so I had to bring it up, cause it's a real gem. Speaking of gems, Tim Curry. Ohhhhh my sweet beautiful snow, Tim Curry. You want a reason to watch this movie? Tim Curry. He cracks me up damn near every second he is on screen, he is just oozing with deliciously devilish smiles and hilarious dialogue, oh my God I just can't get enough of him! It's like he knows he's not in that good a movie but decides screw it, I'm going to have fun regardless and it is such an improvement. If Tim Curry was not in this movie, it would lose a star already from a 2/4 star rating. Yeah these movies aren't exactly the glorious movies I remember, the writing is off in terms of story, the dialogue is average which is a shame coming from Hughes cause you know he can write gooood, the traps while fun and even sometimes funny doesn't merit the lollygagging around beforehand, yet at the same time I don't hate them! They're okay movies, they have moments of greatness and can be little Christmas guilty pleasures, but man they really did not age well for me. You can always watch them with friends or family while you open presents or gorge on Christmas dinner, just as some movie fluff to put on, and get a few laughs out of the pained screams and enjoyableness of a certain actor. Adequate movies but not exactly a Christmas classic to all.

Home Alone

Boy would this film be impossible to potray in the modern day.

Like, you go back and watch this and you're just like holy hell people would be up in arms over this stuff today. I don't know, do I even need to recount the story? Well better safe than sorry I suppose. An average family of about 15 are traveling all the way to Paris for Christmas, because....I guess it's a supreme spot for the winter season (yeah I know it's just to make the plot more feasible but seriously what?) and a young boy named Kevin who is a surprisingly accurate depiction of a boy his age in a family this size, gets left home alone through a series of supremely fine tuned mishaps, and soon the house is assaulted by burglars which he must fight off while his family races back home to him. I loved watching this movie when I was young and after quite a considerable time since I watched this movie last, we're talking 10+ years, looking back I finally understood why I watched it a lot. I really got Kevin! His bratty attitude, his resourcefulness, even his massive bouts of panic induced running, I totally identified with this kid! Plus the final act antics with the booby traps was endless fun, now I just look at them with cringing pain and shock. Some of these are sadistic and might kill someone! But hey man if people are trying to bust into your house and take your stuff, there is no mercy to be found within it's walls. I also never really paid that much attention to the family members cause honestly they were jerks and I didn't want to see them as a kid, but now I daresay the best performance in the movie is Catherine O'Hara as Kevin's mom, she friggin' cracks me up and is hell bent to get home to her son and loses her stocking stuffing with how much crazy nonsense she deals with, I absolutely love her. And, though I'm incredibly happy of the outcome and even the best scene in the movie comes about because of it, I hate the antagonistic edge to Kevin's next door neighbor Marley played by Roberts Blossom. There's nothing wrong with his performance, I really love it, but it's just the fact he runs into Kevin like 3 times and scares the living daylights out of him each time and he doesn't even say a hi or how are you, just unsettling stares set in silence. Why?? If I scared a young kid, I would at least attempt to calm them and show I was no threat. That bugs the hell out of me. Even though the scene they share together in the church is lovely, and easily is the best scene in the movie, just a quiet conversation backed by beautiful singings of Christmas songs before the big finale. And yes, that music when he starts leaving the church is awesome, it pumps you up to set some traps and nail these bastards! And the music is quite nice with a decent mix of orchestral and holiday hits but nothing compares to that. It's an ever so slight mixed movie, it's good but you might need to suspend that disbelief a bit more than usual. Also, a personal thank you to John Candy for saving the day, he's the reason Kevin's mom gets home by Christmas! Go John, we miss you.

And we might as well do Home Alone 2 tomorrow. Cause how the hell am I ever supposed to say no to Tim Curry?