Afro Samurai Ressurection

Hmm. Not what I thought it was gonna be.

For those who have seen the ending of Afro Samurai you'll know it actually left the door open for some continuation, so as we pick up on this feature film made 2 years after the mini-series I kinda figured it would follow in those steps. Not really. It ain't a bad thing but this movie does kinda fiddle fuck with the history of events and "canon" of the series, not in an insultingly stupid way it just adds more stuff that wasn't seen before and has a purpose for the movie. So the events follow Afro who after claiming the Number 1 headband is being hunted down by familiar faces from his past who desecrate his father's grave on top of that, and more so than the show in my opinion this really hammers the point home of revenge. It damn near walks hand in hand with Kill Bill, I just kept flashing back to that, if you seek revenge on others someone is eventually going to seek revenge on you. Hurt people hurt people. It is nothing but a vicious cycle with no end, and you already know how I feel about that. Revenge...the most worthless of causes. And that story is told super well here, spanning only 100 minutes the movie starts off very slap dash and a little confusing as to what the plot is shaping up to be, but it quickly focuses and gets going passing by in the blink of an eye and you get some visuals out of it. Obviously the animation style persists, but with a movie budget so you get a lot broader more involved fights with some damn good background scenery. It maybe took 3 shots until I saw something where I was like, "God. Damn!! That looks good!". You ever wonder why I champion animation so hard here? Because you get some atmospheric/environmental shots the likes of which even God has never seen! And I gotta admit seeing a lot more locales and pieces of this world were greatly interesting to me, making me wish it went on longer than it did because it's just cool! Is it necessary viewing? Not in my estimation but if you digged the hell out of the show you'll like the movie just fine. The plot moves at a good pace and has some solid moments, the animation still looks interesting, the music once again done by The RZA I truly need to listen to in full for both these installments, and I gotta admit the voice cast was in some cases better than the show. It's unequivocally different and doing it's own thing and for all I know we could get another addition to this series in the not too distant future, which I'm not completely against. So I give it 3 stars, 7/10, and it is time for a recent show to be discussed. Rare occurence on this site but I'm looking forward to it so see you tomorrow.

Shazam Fury Of The Gods

I felt they were quite deliberate in showing little for this movie.

The only things I knew going was Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu were the baddies, there was a dragon involved, and....Captain Marvel's suit turned a bit black. Not much to go on but I'm happy to report I really liked the movie! I even will say I liked it better than the first with this movie doing what a good sequel should, expanding the world, furthering the characters, and progressing the plot. So we pick up some time after the first, it's stated Billy will be 18 in a few months but I truthfully can't remember his age in the first film so forgive me on that, but Billy has become a bit of a control freak trying to corral and focus the family's efforts as a group when two ancient gods have a quarrel with a familiar wizard in this world and conflict of course arises. Now I will state the control freak thing isn't given much weight in the story, it's no character arc part two for Billy, so the movie primarily goes business as usual for a superhero film. You get your fights, learning bits about the villains, seeing some creature fodder, and a higher stakes scenario for the family to resolve. One aspect I oh so wish they delved much deeper into is the goddesses have a deep rooted hatred for the wizard because he used the staff to actually steal the gods powers and thusly caused their realm to crumble, because that is a cool ass story where this benevolent figure who creates heroes did some shitty things that could be construed as evil, kinda forcing the idea of you're the villain in someone else's story and not always a good guy, but it's barely touched. However the dynamic between our antagonists are interesting when it's revealed the duo is actually a triumvirate of trouble and none fully get along with the other, it gives some interesting dynamic and good characterization. But the same aspect of inner dynamic didn't transfer well to our Shazam fam, they're much the same except for Freddie and Mary who just want to do their own thing with their own lives. It's not badly written or anything but it's just the status quo, but I can appreciate that. Not every superhero film has to keep pushing the envelope and craft a deep emotionally complex story so that doesn't bother me greatly. The stuff the movie actually gives besides a few groaner lines hither and thither, is good stuff! Now that Zachary Levi has room to spread his wings more, he projects a lot more personality and still captures that teen awkwardness. Jack Dylan Grazer, the friggin' MVP of this whole damn movie, screw Billy Badass Freddie Badass is where it's really at and he kicks ass throughout! Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu are actually pretty intimidating from the word go, especially in their opening scene and the fact they never drop to the level of quips and humor helps tremendously. We don't see much of the kids until near the end but I applaud them for not recasting anybody to increase the continuity. And it's official Meagan Good is my favorite of the family hands down, never to be topped, I cannot get over her adorable and fun personality. She saves kittens before humans, that is a girl who knows her priorities and lives rent free in my heart of hearts. Of course the acting is good from all our major players, some of them bringing their A-game acting, and I bring more good news! Mary, still a babyface. Thank the gods. The CG has improved, giving us a bounty of fantastical creatures beyond a Godzilla wannabe dragon, blue fire breath is still neat though, and any fan of greek myth will have a smile on their face. I really have no clue what the future holds for all these movies releasing this year, we still got Flash and Aquaman but I sense this is probably gonna be their last bow. I hope not! But my pessimistic side is outweighing my optimistic side profusely. Nothing lasts forever. And on that somber bombshell it is time to end, I still very much enjoyed the movie and I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10! Thank you so much for joining another week of rambles and reviews, and next week we're diving back in time for some Keanu action before John Wick 4.

Strange World

Good for you Disney, doing something different.

Needless to say the trailer for this pretty much sold me, a fantastical world with many strange, strange creatures. Let's go. So what did I think? It certainly deserves better than a 5/10 on IMDB, but I do have slight issues with it. So our story takes place on the town/continent/planet(?) of Avalonia where a group of farmers are recruited to travel to the center of the earth to seek out the quite literal root of their problem as their energy sources are depleting. Not super radical in terms of story but for Disney it is new ground. I like our main leads, you do feel the family dynamic and I'll admit the relationship between Searcher and Meridian was really dang sweet. Hell props to them for giving a quite cute blooming romance between two guys, if only for a brief moment. However! I have never seen a script so embroiled in a tug of war in my life. Because the plot focuses as much on generation gaps as much as this wonderful world, and at certain points I'm like, oh wow movie you're not going for some tropey cliches of bickering family members and them totally not opening up their emotions. We get some solid open hearted conversations that I feel are good discussions.....and then they ruin it. It's like every step the characters take forward which happens fairly often, every single time is pulled right the hell away and they regress ten steps back. So why should I believe anything they say and get invested when they turn their backs almost immediately on what they just said! It's so aggravating man. Now the character designs are fine, the environments are nothing short of fascinating and amazing to see, the creatures are so imaginative, and yeah the movie throws a curveball that I never suspected even though I was calling out elements of it early on unknowingly. So the visuals once again are the strongest point of the film, which is not good because they were soooo close to getting this dialogue and characterization down but just fumble it bad. And you spend the entire film with these people and their emotional problems to fix, so it hurts the score. Visuals, excellent crossing over into art at points. Story, basic but interesting. Characters, infuriating but have their good moments. Do I recommend it? Ah, it depends on the individual. This isn't new heights for Disney but it's decent and has a good message about environments and how planets themselves are lifeforms. So....I give it 2.5 stars, 7/10, and tomorrow we really diveboard into the bizarre and you'll be surprised what it is. Keeping you guessing for almost 8 years, I'm proud of that.

Charlie's Angels Full Throttle

Shite. Well, thanks for joining this review. Bye!!

I can't decide what's f***ing worse, the first movie that was in it's own little world doing it's own thing or this movie trying so hard to do stuff and failing miserably! And to think, I dare thought that the first movie was bad. No no no no. This. This sucks. Every point of the last movie that was already bad and made me want to peel the skin off my face and then skull rape my own eyesockets gets worse! How??! Hot buttery biscuits, how?? Don't even attempt the damn drinking game cause you will die. There's no getting around it, you would be dead, there would be more alcohol than blood in your body and you would cease to breathe. I mean the first movie was at least a bit funny, and had decent effects, and good actors doing decent work! True the objectifying bullshit was bad, but this thiiiis is the worst I have ever seen. The effects are just, pssh I'm not even going to talk about it I'm just gonna ask you, the f*** is wrong with you? And somehow you squandered more talent in this than the last, you couldn't even get Bill Murray because he was either filming Lost In Translation or was too bleedin' good for this, you got Bruce Willis and the shittin' T-1000 in this movie and you do dick with them. You bring John Cleese...and you break him in this movie. Nevermind the fact I'm wondering what sin he commited to be in this movie, but you see his character just crumble and you know what? Damn you, damn you to hell and take your movie with you. I liked his character and you broke him. Thank God you at least had Bernie Mac, because I love that man and he was my eternal sunshine in this movie, he made me laugh so much and goddamn do I miss him! I know our main leads probably had a lot of fun and if for nothing else, made good memories shooting a movie with friends. That's fine, I have nothing against them even a teeny bit, if you can look back on it fondly it isn't too terrible. Oh God, I'm rambling. The story has some meat to it or at least highly processed meat to it, I mean you still got your whatever caper but then you get stuff like, backstory into Dylan and an old adversary of hers returns, you get a retired Angel coming into the fray, the possibility of Natalie moving on from the team and having a life of her own. These are not horrible concepts by any stretch, but the execution and style of the film is what completely shoots itself in the foot. Wait, I take that back. It is shoving a double barrel shotgun down it's throat and somehow pulling the trigger twice. I can appreciate trying to make this a more involved and important film, but it just doesn't work. It doesn't feel earned, it certainly doesn't match the tone and direction, this is shut your brain off entertainment action shlock. I like our lead actors, they're having fun so screw it let sleeping dogs lie, John Cleese and Bernie Mac are amazing and I love them so, but beyond that....no. You even brought my guy back, you brough skinny bollocks back still being played by Crispin Glover, but you gave him 3 scenes and I don't like that. Plus the kiss was just, f***ing hwhat??? When the most interesting part of your movie is a side character whose name in itself is a mystery to me because I have heard of several characters throughout my life with the moniker of The Thin Man but I don't know anything beyond that and I want to research it (and by research I mean spend 10 minutes and google it) just to learn more. That's it! And you would have to pay me sacks of money to review the new one. No. Non merci. I will be watching and reviewing something I actually love with a female lead this Friday, thank you very much. Do I give it a rating? It sort of defies ratings but okay. 1 star, 3.5/10, there's my meaningless scores. I'm done, bye.

Charlie's Angels

Is this what I'm really doing with my life?

I needed something to rant about and in my experience, watching reviewer's squirm and lose their damn minds is highly entertaining, so I give this gift to you. It's not a review, it's entertainment. It took considerable time to build up the courage to watch this movie, it was delaying the inevitable if I have ever seen it in my life. This movie....this f***ing movie. Sweet Jesus. Okay, positives first. Bill Murray is really damn funny as always but it just hurts me to see him in this. They use a lot of practical effects and really do stuff, so you get points for that but really the only reason I feel they did that is because the CG is like, it's not even PS2 graphics cause that's a slap in the face to those games, it's bad. Let's just leave it at that, it's bad. That's the trick with this movie, every good thing I can say about it has a negative connotation with it. The cast is great, but they are in this movie. The action is done well, but obviously faked with extensive wire work. The effects in general are practical, but due to the limitations of the budget and technology. The humor is awful and cringey...wait no that's nothing but bad. It's shite. Do I even talk about the plot? It's buried under so much bullshit with the "style" I guess you could call it that, the humor, the blatant and quite frankly uncomfortable male gazing. Now do not get me wrong, Cameron, Drew, and Lucy are very beautiful women and there is precisely squat wrong with beautiful women being total action stars, but that's not the issue. It is childish and grossly uncomfortable as to how these women are potrayed, I couldn't look at the screen half the time cause I was getting second degree/secondhand embarassment from watching this flick. I know it's a product of the super early 2000s, which could have charm of it's own but combined with the other elements it just flops. The only parts I could unashamedly love was Bill Murray, Sam Rockwell, and Crispin Glover. Any movie that let's Sam Rockwell bust a move for no other reason than because screw you he can, gets good points. Crispin Glover, perfect acting for this role I mean I buy every second that he's this wild hitman with, well let's just say it, very certain kinks. I don't kink shame, and this movie fits a lot of kinks in it's runtime, but damn. I'm just rambling, I can't even talk about this movie concisely, I could make a 7 part review and I still wouldn't get it all out of my system. What the everlasting hell is this movie? Cause I don't have an answer and I probably never will. I guess you could say it's a popcorn movie, a turn your brain off kind of entertainment, but I think it goes beyond the parameters of normal movie genres. We could have a phenomenon on our hands here. This movie did the impossible, you got Bill Murray and fffront flippin' Tim Curry in a scene together with the backdrop being a japanese themed party, and you made me not like it. Are y-

Just screw it. Have a drinking game, sure why not. It's a party! Take a shot everytime you get a slow-mo shot, double shot if they swish their hair, take a shot everytime absurd wire work makes a decent action scene a farce, take a shot everytime we get an ass shot, take a shot everytime we get such blatant sexual references and dialogue it would make porn seem subtle and nuanced if you want to end it all and die of liver failure in a coma. It's the only way to fly. I can't even believe I just watched this! I can't keep doing this you guys, there's a lot to see in this life and I'm not wasting it here. You can put me in the sequel, but I'm not gonna guarantee that I'll be lucid when I review it. At least the soundtrack was good. But what do I know? I hated Transformers, and everybody loooves Transformers so you can't trust a syllable out of my mouth, can you. I'm like that coffee machine, from bean to cup you f*** up. I give it 4 leather pants out of 5, now who's got the nose candy?

Kill Bill Vol. 1

And thus I have returned from my turkey coma, and am ready to begin again.

I have never ever seen this movie until now, and I can safely say that I am not dissapointed. This film is fantastic. Like almost all of Quentin Tarantino's work it is greatly different from any other movie you have seen before. Slick, beautiful, quick, and unforgiving Kill Bill Vol. 1 is a sight to behold. The story is a revenge story, Uma Thurman is The Bride as she is called in this movie hunting down every single person who left her for dead on her wedding day. I really enjoyed how the story is told, very much like in Pulp Fiction it is told out of order and thankfully you never get lost as to where the events take place. Uma Thurman who is great as The Bride can get a hell of a lot of emotion out even though she speaks very little. The fight scenes are brilliant, and the choreography in them is staggering. The editing is quick in every scene and is very fluid. The music has such a wide range of variety, like you hear music from Nancy Sinatra to hearing music straight out of a spaghetti western, it is a character in and of itself! The film is brutal, it's beautiful, it catches your eye from the beginning and never lets go until the credits roll. So my expectations are soaring for Vol. 2, I cannot wait until tomorrow! Give this film a shot, it is very dynamic and different but that is the reason why people love it!