Argylle

Okay you got me. More different than you would expect.

I'll give credit where it's due, Matthew Vaughn knows the movies he is good at making and keeps doing them, even if he adds a lemon twist to some. Argylle couldn't be more of a twist if it tried. I'm not sure if the movie is a legit adaptation of a book or series of books but boy would I be interested to pick up one of those. Following the massive shift in lifestyle choice from quiet and simple book writer to full blown espionage agent, Elly Conway meets up with an unexpected ally named Aidan intent on keeping her safe as it appears that life is truly stranger than fiction when the pages of her recent novel are occuring in reality. I'll admit the trailer does a mighty good job making you want to see the film, because you're just wondering what in the flying pink pachyderms is going on here?? Pretty much the line, "You're a goddamn fortune teller Elly. Everything you wrote down has happened." and you wanna know why! You get your answers for sure, this ain't no bait and switch or come to your own conclusions, but maaaaan I really cannot talk about shit here. I am wandering amidst a minefield of spoilers! There are more twists than a contortionist at the circus, and granted I didn't call them from a mile away but I did call some a smidge before they happened. And while the film has flourishes of comedy, the actors commit full force and do mighty good work. Bryce Dallas Howard is truly the star of the picture, and my God does the woman act realistic in these batshit situations showcasing a lot of emotion and quick breathless line reads, she fully nails this performance to the max! Of course seeing Sam Rockwell is a treat and to know he is a legit spy but nowhere near as dashing I rather appreciate, him and Bryce have good chemistry and they are a duet through the vast majority of the film. Plus any excuse to see him bust a move is Kino. I actually expected Bryan Cranston to be the head of this government secret service but to see him as the villain was cool and while he doesn't quite get the material of espionage elite villains like Auric Goldfinger or Ernst Stavro Blofeld he works just fine. I kinda knew Henry Cavill was really just gonna be seen here and there and far from the focus but the way they incorporate his scenes in the world of the book was done rather uniquely. And I need to shoutout my gurl, the one and only, the lovely lady woman I have missed for literal years Sofia Boutella, it's been too damn long in my opinion and she's exactly how I remember her. I seriously need this damn movie to hit video quick because I need to break this down! The only thing that I could give away and that's if a very very select few individuals catch my drift here, if you are familiar with Star Wars games from the early to mid 2000s...they go there. Go see it. It's a weird movie that kinda flips the spy genre on it's head, but you have to make your own conclusion on it. The only real negative I could say and this is probably just me but this movie gets fuggin' silly. I mean ludicrous to the point of stupidity. I never thought in a trillion years I would use the words sappy or downright saccharine to explain a ffffffudge packing firefight, in fact it's probably the biggest action setpiece of the films and you know, as a lover of the lavishly ludicrous....it went too far. Dare I say jumping the shark. But you know what? It commited to that vision, it didn't hold back or apologize, and it certainly didn't give a rat's ass what I thought about it either. And the movie has that more tongue in cheek Roger Moore style of James Bond movies with the crazy gadgets, lighter tone, and essentially is a sweet distraction for an hour or two. So hey man, just because that one detail threw me off my game doesn't mean somebody else can't love it. It isn't a bad film, it's got a solid foundation with a lot of good elements on top of it even if it has it's more hokey moments. I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10! New month already and we got a few more new releases before shifting gears back closer to normal.

No Time To Die

As strict first impressions go I very much liked this movie but this is the first time where I am curious where the series will go from here.

As an exit for Daniel, it worked. As a Bond film I thought it was great. But it just raises too many questions, not in term of plot but what comes next? Despite my love for the Brosnan era, it never crossed my mind once what would happen after Die Another Day, the Bond series has always been something that has been a matter of fact, those movies have always been around. I was always looking back and never ahead until now. But I had a real good time with it. Does it improve on Spectre? Partially. It does it's own thing entirely with Bond coming out of retirement to usurp the new villain Safin from releasing a blood virus on the world, while he reconnects with Madeliene. It's a good plot and for an almost 3 hour film the pace was kept excellently. Craig is having the most fun I think of this role than any others in his tenure, he gets little moments of each Bond. He gets some charm from Connery, the humor of Moore, the romance of Lazenby, the cold kill of Dalton, and the action man status of Brosnan. And yeah, there was some fan wank in this film boy but I won't lie, I loved it. When I heard the chords of We Have All The Time In The World and Vesper's theme I did have an emotional response. The marketing campaign puts a lot of emphasis on secrets and changing the game which it delivers on quite a bit, but not really in the way you would think. This is one of those movie that will get an In Retrospect one day and there will be much to discuss. New additions to the cast are great with ample love going to Ana and Rami who were excellent. The action got my blood going and was always visually interesting. The sets and locations are wonderful and each used to the fullest. It all worked for me, despite there being some big notes from me. I do definitely recommend it, I would give it 4 stars, and an 8/10. Stay tuned for the also long delayed ranking of the 007 series tomorrow.

Spectre

Alright. Let's get this over with.

Spectre has really put Quantum in a better light for me, it's truthfully the most problematic and so un-Bond film of the series. Never Say Never Again probably has more standing in being a James Bond film and that was nothing but a titanic f*** you and die to Cubby Broccoli, EON productions, and Roger Moore. Now I will give good points here and there, the overall production in terms of cast, cinematography, stunts, locales, and direction is good. However. The sole unifying factor in making this quite possibly the lowest ranking film in this series for me is the story. And what boggles my mind to shattered pieces is this screenplay was written by the same guys who wrote Skyfall, what in the everlasting nine circles of hell is this bullshit? This movie plays out like any generic spy thriller. Take out the Aston, take out Bond, SPECTRE, the returning cast members, and the little references to past films, and you would lose precisely nothing in this story. Granted we start off actually really good with a Birdman-esque sequence of long takes in Mexico City where Bond essentially goes rogue agent in tracking down an assassin which leads to a trail of breadcrumbs culminating to the discovery of the organization of SPECTRE and it's head #1 Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Now on paper that is not a bad plot, we finally get the classic villain organization back after decades of that asshat Kevin McClory (who can eat shit you f***ing hack bastard) locking the rights away in a lawsuit that pretty much cut short the lives of Ian Fleming and Albert Broccoli, and now Barbara can utilize it in a story. Huzzah! It didn't work out that great but I'm happy we can see it again. There is so much I can dig into here, almost going through the plot point by point there is that much stuff to severely question and hate but I will attempt to bullet point some things that hurt the film overall. Madeline Swan is the most bland Bond Girl I have seen and I know Lea Seydoux can act, if memory serves the first film I saw her in was Blue Is The Warmest Color and I really really liked that movie and she did very well in it, but there is no way in this universe or any alternate universe you can convince me that she is the woman Bond decides to settle down with. No. No. Wrong. She has nothing on Tracy or Vesper in the slightest, but I do actually hold high hopes that the next movie will give a lot to her character. The action in this movie is beyond dull, none of it is thrilling, visually interesting, or impactful. It feels so empty, from a car chase more suited to Roger Moore with comedy beats galore, shootouts that makes me feel like I'm in the vacuum of space, and nonsensical final confrontations. I could bitch at nauseatic lengths of the big interconnecting web that this movie tries to weave and include all the movies before. God Marvel just made it impossible for movies just to be movies, and like sheep everyone tried their stab at it. Jesus wept. Okay, gotta focus. Christoph Waltz is a very fine actor, Blofeld is a memorable villain but never had much of a solid grip in terms of personality and initiative, and this is the worst Blofeld I have seen. It does not work in any semblance whatsoever, and once more I hold hope for No Time To Die to actually give the characters something to do. Everyone is acting fine and well here, but there is no meat to these character's bones. Daniel had so much to work with in the last film and could convey so much with a look alone, and here...there's nothing. Not for anyone. It's this void of recognizable elements, with occasional fun and nice bits of dialogue and story, but is so bogged down by everything else it's such an easy skip. I don't like the action, I don't like the big story moments, I certainly don't like Blofeld, I don't like the opening titles all that much, it just gave me nothing. That sucks. Nobody wants to hate a James Bond movie, but when the bullshit mans says that's bullshit you take his word for it. 1.5 stars, 4/10. Tomorrow, the end of an era with an almost 3 hour long runtime. There is no time to die, but you only live twice Mr. Craig, and here's hoping for an all time high.

Skyfall

This is gonna be a hard one to top once No Time To Die hits.

I've heard endless amounts of people say Skyfall is one of their favorites if not their most favorite James Bond movie, and I happen to agree with them. After the tepid at best reaction to Quantum, it was no surprise EON wanted to make the best Bond movie for the 50th anniversary to which I say they did exceptionally well. But would it have really killed them to do a proper gunbarrel? Casino Royale, fine it works, new era, and a brilliant way to introduce the new Bond. Quantum Of Solace, pointless, you could maybe make a case that it bookends the Vesper storyline but come on. Now bloody Skyfall. That's pretty much my only gripe for the movie, it's class from shot one. It implements and executes the best Bond is dead trope of the series, has a wonderful story with actual themes and character development, great action, just enough of a nod to the fans to celebrate the golden anniversary, and really gets to the status quo that we've had for the majority of this series. I do say this is Daniel's best performance, Judi's best performance, has one of the best Bond villains, we get a new Moneypenny and Q who are brilliant, so the actors could not be better picked. Daniel really has come into his own in this role, finally being the Bond we know with the wit, skill, and charm synonymous with the character and is given plenty of little touches that give James some depth. Dame Judi could not be on better form if she tried, the story focuses a lot on her which is awesome in my eyes, and thus she gets to give a truly award winning performance (Seriously the Academy Awards can kiss the darkest part of my pale ass for not even considering this role as a nomination). Javier Bardem is your villain. Sweet Jesus do I love that man. F***ing brilliant, 10/10! I initially gave Ben Whishaw good grief for being our new Quartermaster, because well Q has always been my favorite character in this series above all others, and just like John Cleese I've come to truly love and appreciate their work in these films. Naomie Harris, oh my darling how I adore thee, she is wonderful in this role, honest to God is probably my second or third favorite Moneypenny, just saying. Her potential is almost unbelievable and I truly hope we see these players stick around for a bit. But enough gushing over the performances, how's the story? Quite brilliant, with Bond after a close brush with death returns after MI6 has been bombed and quickly discovers of a past agent with a very single minded purpose of killing M, leading 007 to return to less than missed places to keep her safe. The theme of old vs. new is such a deeply rooted theme, in the visuals, dialogue, and overall story, and one which I say is incredibly welcome and appropriate. No better personified in the hearing scene where MI6 is questioned of whether or not it should even still be a branch of government, that espionage and intelligence gathering has grown beyond the place of spies and agents, and I would go so far as to say it truly is the best scene in the movie. Sam Mendes is a talented director who knows how to convey themes and messages without coming off as head bashingly obvious or insufferable, but also knows how to make damn impressive shots. I mean Casino Royale was outstanding, but this movie has a different view but nevertheless incredibly strong and memorable. Hell even the title sequence is the best of the Craig era and one of the best just period. Hearing Adele on a proper theater sound system sure got the goosebumps going. And this was my second James Bond movie I ever saw in theaters, good God I can't even believe I have to say Quantum was my first. Couldn't I just lie? Strangely I didn't see Spectre in theaters either, which you think would be a no brainer after the huge positive results from Skyfall. But we will get to that movie next time. But for now, easy 4 stars, 9/10, couldn't recommend it more. Skyfall is waaaay up there in the ranking for sure and I highly doubt it's going to be budging anytime soon.

Quantum Of Solace

Well this was mixed at best.

I think right now, at this current moment in time, this is my least favorite James Bond film. But it's surprisingly difficult to explain why. I don't think the story itself is horrible, the cast do fine work and treat it seriously, the action scenes are still well choreographed and have some punch, I really enjoy the dynamic between Bond and M, Mathis, and Camille. So there is undoubtedly positive elements in this movie, but the script itself and more importantly just the execution of the scenes are what really drags this film down. And I know I shouldn't bash the movie's script too hard, it was a horrible year to make movies from 2007 to 2008 because there was a writer strike, so many movies and shows either had to be stalled for an unforseeable amount of time or kind of had to be made up as it went along. This case was the latter, and I can't even begin to imagine filming on set, on a day to day basis, and have no damn clue what will happen next. But again, it's not a total f***ing omnishambles of a dumpster fire disaster. The story picks up like, right off the heels of Casino Royale which has happened a grand total of 0 times in this series to have such flawless continuity, where MI6 has unwittingly discovered an entire organization that has seeped into every government agency that leads Bond on a very long trail, leading him to a philanthropist connected to the organization. It's a very busy plot, a lot of in's, a lot of out's, a lot of what have you's, and it doesn't help at all that the script is very cobbled together and the shooting is worse. I've not to my knowledge seen Mark Forster's work beyond this, so for all I know he could have something going for him, but I hated the editing, and shooting, and even the cinematography isn't all that great. I found it very distracting cause we keep bouncing back and forth between important plot stuff and nothing short of "artistic" wanking trying desperately to be allegorical but comes off hamfisted and irrelevant. We get it. You went to a film class. Stick to the important shit. It wouldn't surprise me for a microsecond if there are videos solely to deconstruct this filming style. It makes me yearn for jump cuts, rubbish back projections, and sped up footage from the Connery era. Now you might be saying well it's a different Bond film because we focus more on his character than the mission so it can be more artsy and different. You'd be wrong though. And an idiot. We've had movies before that focus on Bond himself while still focusing on the mission. On Her Majesty's Secret Service, For Your Eyes Only, Goldeneye, Casino Royale. Don't even try it. The best parts are really the relationships as I've said with our side characters. The fact that Bond goes after our main villain because they tried to kill M, and how their working relationship is strained at the moment because Bond is still a blunt instrument at this phase and M doesn't agree with how he operates is really good stuff. How we get Mathis back which leads to the best relationship building in the entire damn movie, where you can tell they don't hold grudges for each other after Casino Royale but they don't exactly trust one another, yet they work together on thin ice and genuinely have one of the best moments in this whole bloody series where Mathis asks if they've forgiven each other and how they shouldn't hold grudges or seek vengeance. For a brief moment I legit got choked up, cause it is so incredibly sincere and you see that respect and care they have for one another. It's a really short scene but speaks volumes. And I really do appreciate Olga Kurylenko's performance, they share one kiss and that is it, no romance, no end love scene, they meet as sort of kindered spirits with both having the urge to seek revenge on people who lead to the deaths of people they cared about. And they do help each other find that quantum of solace in their lives, I mean that is amazing character dynamics, that is such a great idea for a film, Craig and Kurylenko's chemistry is excellent. It almost enrages me that there is such good things in this movie but it gets bogged down by the story and direction. It even has one of the best endings to any movie in this series, like I'm serious this is right up there with OHMSS, that is how good it is. Cause most Bond movies end with a celebratory aardvarking session, which is all fine and good but then you get endings that actually give you something to remember. Something that sticks out, something that pops, something that you won't forget. It's such a strong ending for an ultimately average movie. That sucks, I've been having a pretty good time with these movies and have been very positive in my ratings but this just gave me hardly anything. 2 stars, 5/10, Skyfall's next so thank your lucky stars and join me tomorrow.

Casino Royale

The game has changed.

What a stark and memorable way to start an entire new era to Bond. Undoubtedly throughout the course of the series the films have had loose continuity and you can track the career of Bond from the early 60s to after the Cold War, but Barbara Broccoli and the producers of EON took some inspiration from Batman Begins and wanted the series to be rebooted and modernized to staggering effect in my estimation. Casino Royale is an excellent Bond film, the filmmakers knew exactly what they wanted and how to do it. Daniel Craig, despite the howls of heresy and betrayal to have a blonde Bond, is probably the closest iteration of Ian Fleming's books while still having the charm of Moore, the action man status of Brosnan, and the intensity of Dalton, yet nevertheless takes the role as his own and does exceptional work being a much more less experienced, reckless, and cold blooded killer. That's why I really stood up for Dalton cause I knew this was what they wanted and they refined it more for this era. I do truly believe Eva Green is objectively one of the best Bond girls, not only because of her relationship with James and I still to this day stand by the only women he ever loved was Vesper and Tracy, but because they give her such an amazing character with attitude and undeniable charm that compliments Craig so damn well. I'm not even going to spiral down that rabbit hole of praising Eva Green, cause I would be here for the next decade so we will move on. And of course they got my man, my sexy man, Mads Mikkelsen playing the villain. He's perfect, they gave him just enough to make him honestly one of the most striking physiques of the entire series, with the slight Pleasance scar, the blood tears, it's a wonderful performance and will no doubt be incredibly difficult to top in the upcoming films. I cannot even begin to say how happy I am they kept Judi Dench onboard for this revival, they could have so easily recast this role but they brought her back and I can understand why, they needed some familiar face in the production to better gauge the change for audiences. And she is my M, she was the first M I ever saw and is still my favorite though Bernard Lee was grand throughout his tenure, so I'm just so thrilled it wasn't a 4 movie stint for her. I am not even able to discern which is better, the cast or just the total production value. This is the best looking film of the series, and I don't just mean because of the modern age filmmaking, the set design is nothing short of magnificent, the locations could not look better, the action is thrilling with a capital T, I can forgive entirely the lack of gadgets because of how well done these action beats are. You think I would find it inexcusable that we don't have any gadgets, that John Cleese did not get to return as our Quartermaster (which still breaks my heart to this day because he had unconditional love and respect for the part), but I can understand why they wanted to take a very realistic approach and it obviously payed off in aces. It's not even a question in my mind that this is top 10 material, it gets nothing but 4 stars, 8.5/10. This could be someone's jumping on point for the series before they get to something spectacular like The Spy Who Loved Me or more espionage antics like From Russia With Love, so I do believe it deserves the praise and recognition. Will the trend continue? Only one way to find out as we look at Quantum Of Solace tomorrow.

The Satanic Rights Of Dracula

I apologize for this review being late, we had a bit of a crisis at home and let's just say it was busy.

Let me tell you there's a reason this is not only the last Hammer Dracula movie but also this is the only movie to slip into the public domain, that's right Hammer doesn't even want anything to do with it and for good reason. The Satanic Rights Of Dracula is without a doubt the weakest of the series, because it doesn't even focus on Dracula! The whole movie is just boring and they threw in elements of spy movie stuff, occult sacrifices, and crime drama and threw it in with Dracula, with very lengthy talking scenes and very little else. Peter Cushing is in most of it which is great obviously, but he's mainly used for exposition but I can listen to him talk all day so I can kinda let that slide. Dracula is barely in the movie, showing up randomly and having very little to do until the last 20 minutes. In fact the only real reason you should watch the movie is the last 20 or so minutes. The final confrontation between Van Helsing and Dracula is outstanding, with Christopher Lee having a full blown monologue before the fight erupts and it is glorious. I would talk about the plot, but I can't figure it out, it's just a series of incidents and exposition. There's actually one more good scene in the movie but only because it's just odd. So basically Van Helsing is trying to find Dracula, and for some reason he turns up at this building and meets this guy who is so obviously Dracula, but the part that interests me is he kinda talks like Bela Lugosi! His dialect and accent heavily reminds me of Bela Lugosi, and it's just odd to hear Christopher Lee talk in such a way but I strangely find it kinda neat. Bottom line, stay away from this movie, just watch the last 20 minutes or so.

Okay so tomorrow, we look at one more Hammer series and let me tell you, it will be awesome.

Atomic Blonde

I friggin' called the use of 99 LuftBalloons. I mean come on, it's Germany in 1989. We're going to hear some Nena.

Atomic Blonde, a brash, vibrant, and pretty kickass spy film has just hit today and it sure does need to be seen. So the story takes place about a month before the Berlin Wall is torn down with a british agent sent in to East Berlin to retrieve a list of all the agents in the world before it gets in the hands of the KGB. And then a lot happens that you come to expect in spy movies, action scenes, double crosses, and of course the more....ahem, steamy scenes. But Atomic Blonde does takes these normal conventions and puts a new spin on it, and not just due to that we have a female spy this time. The action scenes are visceral, they're brutal, I mean Charlize Theron gets the piss kicked out of her and she still hits back hard. The spy and espionage element is there but not heavily centered on. This movies does fully deserve the R rating so obviously it's not for everyone. The violence is in your face and doesn't shy away from kills, the sex is in my opinion kind of unnecesary. I mean your following the story and then Sofia Boutella and Charlize Theron participate in lesbiaonics, and while I love Sofia Boutella I just felt the sex and nudity wasn't there for a reason other than for someone to get their rocks off. And really that's the only bad thing I can say about the movie. The cinematography is friggin' blasting with color when in the right scene, and looks fantastic. All the acting is good with James McAvoy being an ass like he always is, but my God he is terrific at it. Charlize Theron has got a bad attitude in this movie, like she is just not a nice lady. Is she great in those action scenes? Uhhhh.....yeah!! But her character is very unlikable, for about 90% of the movie, not until the end am I fully behind her and want to see her get stuff done. Sofia Boutella who is my new golden girl, is just a treat to see in the movie so I'm all for it. And one thing I don't ever think I mentioned is I love period pieces, not like Victorian era dramas or anything like that but more specifically, seeing a part of the world in that time. Another spy movie example I can throw out there is You Only Live Twice, just seeing Japan in that time period, in the late 60s was really awesome. So seeing Berlin split between East and West in that time period was very interesting. I certainly don't have to tell you I LOVE this soundtrack! I'm a lover of this decade of music above all others, a close second being 60s rock, and even beyond the excellent choice in musical tracks the original music created and used in this movie is really good! Like buy the soundtrack good! It fits right in with the feel and style of the movie. I walked in expecting a decent, if not great spy movie and I got a great spy movie! So if it sounds like your kinda movie, definitely go watch it.

Well that's it for this week. But what now? What comes next? Well.....tomorrow I'll tell you.