The Dial Of Destiny

So did we end on a high note?

It may not have been the glorious and most grandiose send off for Indiana Jones, but you know what? I'm happy with it, I felt this was a good movie, and I don't mind recommending it. So the year is 1969 and Indy has retired from teaching before getting drawn into this plot with his goddaughter following in her father's footsteps, trying to track down a device that alters history before a certain mister hotsi totsi nazi gets a hold of it. I know that little ipso facto of a device that deals with time will be a hard split for people, and once again like the extraterrestrials last movie, I'm a bit on the fence with it. I actually feel the history and mixing of culture for the crystal skull was done better but it was competently done here centering on ancient greek and roman times, so no huge points taken there. The globe trotting felt very much upped in counterblance, and it was really nice seeing Tangiers, Sicily, and Athens cause you know they legit filmed there. It may sound strange when I say this but for a movie that keeps up a solid pace of action and plot, there isn't a whole lot of gunplay or fisticuffs involved it's much more a chase type of action movie. Decent stuff, they did as much as feasible for real, and nothing seemed horribly farfetched. As one last hurrah for Harrison he does well, I see a lot more of his personality come through Indy but at the same time he doesn't get the full spotlight. That's where Phoebe Waller-Bridge comes in as Helena, and I'll admit this up front I thought she was going to be a straight up heroic companion but she's a bit of a bastard in this movie, very well...Han Solo before he joined the cause, just whatever means I'm on top and get paid at the end. So I wasn't at all feeling it but she almost entirely redeems herself through just one action at the end, so take her with a grain of salt. I also did not like that my handsome man was the villain, granted he can cut a sinister shape and goddamn was he nicely dressed throughout (sans SS uniform of course), but gah I just didn't like that! I will say this movie has zero fucking problem making the bodies hit the floor, there is some gruelling deaths presented so it has that sharp edge, that danger and stakes, I mean innocent parties just get shot in cold blood like it's nothing man. And don't get me wrong I was concerned about this movie, not so much whether it would be good or bad but the concept of the dial itself made me nervous they would lean hip deep in time travel, maybe indulge a bit in needless fan wank, and yeah I was a touch nervous Harrison would bite the dust but thankfully no. They still do stuff with it, but it's not egregious. It's directed well, the performances are legit, the adventure is there, I'd call it decent. Nothing grand or amazing but not a letdown either, 3 stars, 7/10. And mate, if you feel it all should have ended with Indy riding into the sunset in The Last Crusade, I'm with you all the way but it's at least worth seeing once. And that's about it for me for the next 3 weeks, so stay safe, have fun, enjoy your celebratory fireworks if you are proud we disbanded from Great Britain like the rebel scum we are, and I'll see you later.

The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

I think it's mellowed over time.

Story time! I didn't start getting into Indiana Jones until after this movie came out but from all the contemporary word of mouth there was, you either despised it or liked it. Hell my mom tried to get me to watch it before any of the others and I just couldn't go for it yet, but I quickly loved the previous 3 movies and when I watched it the first go around it didn't strike me very much. I guess the line is drawn at do you think extraterrestrial life belongs in an Indiana Jones movie? My teenage self would say hell to the no, but nowadays I'm kinda on the fence. I mean it's Spielberg in conjunction with Lucas, they wanted to do a big throwback to film serials and adventure films of their youth in creating this character and you could argue the progression is sound, science fiction and alien movies were huge in the 1950s so they wanted to tip their hat to that genre as well, and I do feel Spielberg did fine work with all the elements here. So we basically follow Indy as he's being hounded by KGB agents where we meet his son Mutt Williams who enlists his help to find an old teacher and his mom as we piece together the puzzle, world hop, get into some action, and touch upon another religion albeit a less than common one. Now how they weave this story of the crystal skull for the most part works, bringing in conquistadors, the legend of El Dorado, and various bits of mesoamerican history I feel works well. You follow it, understand it, and can even be intrigued by it. It doesn't feel like an exposition dump and feels natural in this world, my only gripe is they introduce two crystal skulls and that can be a bit confusing because it just didn't need to be there and we only focus on one anyway. I don't really know why they chose to add another one in the mix for only one scene. My other more major gripe is I cannot grasp why the character of Mac even exists, he turns heel on Indy almost right from the word go but he doesn't contribute a goddamn thing and they keep yo-yoing between he's a double agent and he's actually a bastard helping the commies. Superflous. Fucking superflous. I'm not all that wild about our villains here either, I mean I get why, the time is 1957 and the movie actually does exceptional work setting you in that time frame! The cars (with a subtle nod to American Graffiti for the opening credits), the fashion, the Red Scare is rampant, all the details of the world help a lot, but I'm sorry the russian army doesn't have at all the menace and force of the natzis in any way whatsoever. But honestly those are my 3 main problems with this movie, I mean yeah sure it gets a little friggin' Looney Tunes and a bit too much CGI when they're in the Amazon jungle, but even then I kept my eyes peeled the whole movie to discern what they actually did and what was CG and I'm happy to report they did the majority of stuff for real! There may be a CG background but the sets are real, the stunts are real, it's not quite to the extent people would leave you to believe that it's very much a Star Wars prequels production. I've heard many a people say that Indiana Jones is too old, I heard it back then and I'm certainly damn well hearing it now but...no. He's not. Indy would adventure, preserve artifacts, and keep learning as much as he could until his last breath, that's why I'm not against The Dial Of Destiny. Harrison still fucking has it, he's great as always and this gives him a new angle when he learns he has a son. It's rock solid all the way through. It's nice to see Karen Allen back and I'm more curious as to what that will entail in the next movie with their relationship. Same goes for Mutt, is Shia LaBeouf gonna make an appearance? I felt he did okay here, I mean this was a point in time where he was a getting a huge push, remember Transformers came out the previous year, I'm not a fan but I'm not a hater either. Cate Blanchette, sorry hun I think you were way more intimidating even when you're just chilling in Lothlorien with your husband Celeborn, you did decent but I can't blame it on you. Poor John Hurt needed more material, I adore that actor but I feel he was more on the wasted potential side in this movie. But all the acting is good and serviceable so no major points deducted. Effects work again is primarily solid with a few bits that were off, but I'm just thrilled they did as much as they could in camera and I hope that tradition continues one last time. The story progression was good, I liked all the bits of history and trivia, even if I'm not fully on board with interdimemsional creatures. For a movie that got some bashing over the years, I think people are at the point where they can re-evaluate it and make peace with some grievances. Is it still at the bottom of the ranking list for me? Yeah, but I would not go so far as to say it is a bad movie. I give it 2.5 stars, 6.5/10. I really have zero clue as to how the next movie will go, cause I've seen young and old Harrison Ford, they made my sexy man an SS officer, and they tout this as Indy's last adventure. Can't wait until he gets blasted by missiles on an island saving his love and his child. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Empire Of Dreams

I'm running out of Star Wars stuff.

Literally, after season 7 of Clone Wars and an In Retrospect of The Rise Of Skywalker, that's it for Star Wars here until season 2 of The Mandalorian. I am not brave enough to watch the Ewok stuff so this is the end. But I have to say this is a fine documentary, the first I ever watched concerning my favorite movies. It only centers on the first trilogy, mainly the first film, and with a run time of 2 and a half hours the information that you get is good and seeing the formation of this franchise is entertaining, enlightening, and really puts this whole series in perspective. I am going to say this once and only once, I hate how people take Star Wars for granted. I could rant for hours about how people take this so seriously, and this is coming from a die hard Star Wars fan. This really and truly does put the entire franchise into perspective, people always assume, oh Star Wars was planned from episodes 1 to 6 immediately and never had to be revised or changed, oh Star Wars was widely accepted during production and didn't have any problems or trials to overcome, oh the special effects were done with a mass of materials to be used. No! Noooo!! Damn you a thousand times no! This might be an odd thing to say but this is a documentary that flat out tells you the truth, there is no bullshit here and they tell you how Star Wars came to be in the most un-dramatic, straightforward, and sometimes even humorous way. The "script" for Star Wars was a very basic cliffnotes version of the story we know that was radically different than what we got on screen, the production was a huge hassle that hardly anybody believed it would have even gotten half of it's money back, the special effects guys for this film are absurd with how they didn't have a single thing to work on beyond sketches and artwork and made some of the best special effects ever like friggin' EVER, the imagination and creativity they had to make this passion project a reality is nothing short of unbelievable. Like man, if one single aspect of that finished film was off....Star Wars would not be here today. It would have come and went with zero fanfare, zero fans, zero recognition. And you know, there are some unsung heroes in this that deserve recognition, Alan Ladd Jr. is the man who made Star Wars possible cause without that guy George Lucas could have never made the movie. Period. Not with the kind of budget he got. Ralph McQuarrie has been getting more recognition through the years but it was his initial paintings and artwork that got people onboard for this science fiction movie in a time where such a film would have been laughed out of every studio and theater in America. Just...I have to give props to the editors, producer, and visual effects team so much for getting this film finished. Yes George Lucas deserves huge recognition for his ideas, ambition, and the scale he wanted this movie to be but I really, truly, very much believe this film wouldn't have gotten anywhere without these people. Star Wars didn't have a road map, not really, because as time progressed ideas and concepts changed, shifted, were dropped, or improved as the scripts were being rewritten and all for the better in my opinion. In fact there is a comic series I believe it is just called The Star Wars where the original original story that George Lucas penned, design choices and all, was published and booooy is it out there. Thankfully you can find the documentary totally free on YouTube, and it is worth the time to watch. I got a little choked up seeing Carrie again, just being her ridiculous awesome self and it brought up points I knew, I never knew, I knew but then I forgot, it's absurd how much this simple story grew in now over 40 years. It's a big reason why I think people need to chill the f*** out over the sequel trilogy, it really ain't all that bad when you get right down to it. We've seen worse in this series and The Last Jedi ain't one of them examples and I'm talking everything here, not just the films. But what the hell do I know? Maybe I'll make a review in 10 years time that will start something like this: "Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker was the most disappointing thing since my son. I mean how much more could you possibly f*** up the entire finale to Star Wars? And while the prequels aren't bad on paper, the unfortunate reality is that the sequels will be around. Forever. It will never go away, it can never be undone. If you're someone under the age of 20 and say you don't remember a time when Disney didn't own Star Wars and that you thought all of them were good, then I suggest you turn this review off right now before I carefully explain how much of a f***ing idiot you are.". But as of now, I very much like the sequels, I love the original trilogy, and I like...parts of the prequels. But Star Wars is bigger than that and no doubt will entertain the world for decades to come. But take a look at the source and how it all came to be, if only to appreciate where we are now. May the Force be with you always.

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Well how about that, two birds with one stone. You get a holiday special and something Star Wars before Episode 9.

What....was that? I can't even believe I just watched that. I have lived for almost 25 years and only now have just watched the Star Wars Holiday Special. I don't even know what to say. What can you say about it? Do I describe the special or talk about it's impact that surprisingly is still felt today? Well why not both. We really got to dig into this. So this special was conceived by George Lucas to help Star Wars remain in the public consciousness, which sort of baffles me because it was released just one year after Star Wars came out and honestly who could forget Star Wars? And I'm talking in 1978, no retroactively thinking. Do you know how much money that film made? It was only the highest grossing film ever, and won several Academy Awards, with an armada of merchandise and one hell of a fanbase that stretched the world over. It was said that when George watched the finished product he couldn't believe it and said it seemed like a cheap cash grab, and memorably went on to say if he had the time he would track down every known copy and smash it with a sledgehammer. So how did it garner such an unparalleled hatred in the Star Wars community that would make the prequels look like some of the finest films ever made? Well the story centers around Chewbacca and Han trying to get to Chewie's home planet (before it was called Kashyyk) to celebrate a traditional Wookie holiday known as Life Day. We mostly spend the special though with Chewie's family, which doesn't sound like a horrible idea until you realize the special doesn't even have subtitles or a translator on standby to fill you in on what the Wookies are actually saying. Some people say it's ear bleedingly bad, but I didn't have much of a problem with it and strangely enough there's multiple vignettes peppered throughout the special because, whoopsie daisy someone lost the plot, so pretty much 85 to 90% of the special is just pure filler. It's not even good filler with worldbuilding aspects and interesting characters that you can grasp from such moments. And to be honest, our main cast don't look that well, Harrison was dragged into it, poor Mark looks like a Ken doll though it is serendipitous to hear how comfortable and good he sounds as a voice actor, and Carrie dear sweet Carrie you can sing honey but that was hard to sit through. What sidetracking filler is there you might ask? Well, there's holographic circus performers, a cooking show by what looks like the evil stepmother from Cinderella, a moment that should never have been created let alone televised and was flat out stated by the producer to be soft core porn, an instructional video to create a radio transciever, a very 1970s looking cartoon, an odd yet very enjoyable I guess short musical with Bea Arthur, oh yeah and a Jefferson Starship music video. I would just like to say, WHAT THE F***?? And guess what, apparently the writer of this special did a lot of cocaine and you know what, I couldn't tell! Everything just gels so impeccably well! Oh sweet baby Yoda, save me. Okay. Breathe. First of all, if you are a fan of 70s television you will recognize the three guest stars of this programme, Art Carney, Harvey Korman, and Bea Arthur, all very talented and funny people. So what cracking material were they given here? Well Harvey Korman dresses as a woman during the cooking segment and plays a faulty replicant in the instructional segment, and I can safely say is wasted tremendously. Art Carney plays a friend of Chewbacca's family, and honestly he seems like he's trying but this writing is just ass. Bea Arthur is the best part of the special period just as a barkeep of a cantina on Tatooine, and I won't lie I loved her segment. In fact, there was quite a bit I enjoyed! Bea Arthur as a bartender on Tatooine sounds like the biggest waste ever, but it works for me, I fully believe her in the part and she's actually pretty funny, it feels like a real bar and just has nice little moments to it, and even when they burst into a musical number (For some weird reason?) I still have a blast with it. And yeah, let's talk about Jefferson Starship previously known as Jefferson Airplane, I honestly and truthfully want this band to be a really real thing in the Star Wars universe. It is totally random and out of nowhere, but damn do I like that song. I really dig the cartoon segment too, it has such a unique art style and is probably the most well known part of the special. It introduced the character of Boba Fett for the first time ever, and really kickstarted his popularity, and I totally get it now! I always really liked Boba Fett but I seriously have much more appreciation and love for the character now. No wonder he caught on so much with fans, badass look, great voice, cool personality, rides a frigging aquatic dragon lookin' thing, is flat out called the best bounty hunter in the galaxy by Lord Vader himself, he's pretty amazing for such a short appearance. So yes there is stuff to enjoy here but man do you have to put up with some absolute fluff to get to it. I was honestly shocked at how much stuff you see in this special that is brought up in the future of the series. The Wookie houses are identical in art style to today's, several of the aliens in the cantina we continue to see in the series that weren't in the original Star Wars, that cool cattle prod thing Boba Fett used is in The Mandalorian, and Chewbacca's family and Life Day are still considered canon by Disney. It's a part of this amazing pop culture dynasty, and while is not exactly the most highly acclaimed piece of Star Wars media even I can't condemn it too much. Beyond that one scene, which shall never be spoken of or even slightly mentioned by anyone or I will feed your carcass to a Rancor, I didn't hate it all that much. It truly is a coked out, rambling, incoherent, and the most worthless piece of fluff ever conceived but you know what? I'd still rather watch it than The Phantom Menace or Attack Of The Clones. Phantom Menace had Darth Maul and the climactic duel. Attack Of The Clones had Christopher Lee and.....um....the clones? This had Jefferson Starship, Bea Arthur, and even a few nice moments between characters. It's not very good, but I can live with it. I give it, 1.5 stars so check it out if you're morbidly curious. The whole thing is on the Youtubes, and if you got an hour and a half to spare and just want to laugh and make jokes, give it a shot. I think I'm so burnt out right now, I don't even care. I just gave an okay review to The Star Wars Holiday Special. I think it's a good thing I only have one more review for the year. Tune in next time for the end of the Skywalker saga and a final chapter to my childhood.

In Retrospect: Blade Runner 2049

This is a great movie, I'm very excited to see it with several Academy Award nominations!

I'm telling you man, it all fits together when you understand better the original Blade Runner. Blade Runner 2049 is a extremely well done sequel, visuals are almost too good to be true, with outstanding use of color and it further imprints the fact that not only is this a parallel Earth where history went a tiny bit different, but that the technology jump in 30 years time makes logical sense. The film is gorgeous to look at, and it proves the fact that film is a visual medium. That is the point of movies, to show artistic and grand scale visuals while telling a story. This is a prime example if I ever saw one, but not just in environment. Harrison Ford returns, albeit briefly in this film and quite possibly the two best scenes is where he hardly speaks. You can tell everything he is feeling through just facial expressions, he is that good an actor, his body language says what words cannot for his character. Speaking of which, all the characters are fantastic and wonderful. By far my favorite characters besides Decker is Joi, and Ana for one simple reason: although their characters are extremely isolated from the world they show great humanity. Joi is such a loving, wonderful person and to know the story of Ana and how it all ends....I couldn't dare ask for anything better. Joe is a really dang good protagonist, and while I'm at it he makes this almost 3 hour movie very engaging. I never lost interest once, the story and world is just so engaging to the point where it doesn't feel like almost 3 hours. And really, I only had two issues, one of which I got over relatively quick. First, is Joi. Now there is nothing wrong with her character, but more the tech of her. Since she's a hologram she can't interact with physical matter. Except when she can. It's so bizarre, I can't figure out why she can touch and feel one minute then be a hologram once again. But I love her character so much I can look past it. What I can't look past is this whole revolution subplot that's really missing the whole "Chosen One" aspect to make it completely stupid, it doesn't go anywhere after that scene so why is it in the movie? I would rather have that introduction scene they had to Sapper which they used in that weird variety of preludes to build up to this movie. Remember that? They had all these directors do scenes both live action and animated to build up to this movie. Throw that scene in, it gave a lot of character and respect and sympathy to his character, I loved it. But no, we get a flaccid at best revolution subplot that dies as quickly as it began. Yet even through all that, the appeal this film holds for me cannot be fully explained, cause well film is something greater and better than words, it's a gorgeous movie, with great characters, and a compelling mystery. What more could anyone ask? You know what, screw it I'm watching it again! I'll see you guys next week. Great movie, see it, buy it, love it. I'm going in!

2nd Viewing: Blade Runner

Really it's more my 3rd viewing. I watched both the theatrical and final cut today so I could compare notes correctly.

And you know what? I may not fully get it, but this is a really damn good movie now that I saw it again! I highly enjoyed it, and wasn't just witness to the story and didn't feel much. I don't know the deeper meaning of the movie, probably never will, but it was a better experience this time. Cinematography and visuals are stunning and breathtaking, you can see the craftsmanship in everything, and I love the world it builds. Characters are interesting and memorable, especially Roy played to beyond perfection by Rutger Hauer, seriously the man needs an Oscar, he knows exactly what he needs to potray and how to do it. Decker is a great protagonist, and the story flows very nicely as he hunts these replicants down. I think it worked greatly in my favor to watch both versions, and I can safely say the final cut is vastly superior. What shocked me was the narraration was not that excessive in the theatrical cut, it cropped up...maybe 5 times in 2 hours of film, so it never felt overbearing. The final cut has so much better editing, framing, visual richness, and a more coherent story. I really enjoyed this movie, and no doubt will buy it soon. The immersion it sets, I think, is why it is so good. It sets up the technology, the characters, history of said characters, and a wonderful atmosphere. I can stare at those backgrounds for hours, they are so finely detailed and for paintings the depth is incredible. Blade Runner is a heavily visual film, no doubt, but the story it tells is interesting and engaging enough so that it can't just be considered eye candy. I will be seeing it more times in the future, and I fully agree with Harrison Ford and his views on the film, so the final cut is the version you should go for. But for curiosity's sake, if you want to, track down the theatrical cut. It's not often in life you can say the same movie can be viewed literally very differently. So I am very happy to have seen it again, we will touch on Blade Runner 2049 tomorrow, so until then my friends.

Blade Runner 2049

Alright, that was a pretty good movie!

So the follow up to the strange and yet enticing Blade Runner just hit theaters, and I have to say it really did not disappoint. So it's been about 30 years since the last movie and we follow a detective replicant who soon is put on a case to find a living miracle, a child birthed by a replicant. And through this we meet old friends, new enemies, and a damn impressive looking film. Now this is what a good sequel should do, take the elements of the original film and expand upon them to tell a good story and this movies does it very, very well. I almost would say this could be a standalone film, it doesn't even need to be a sequel to Blade Runner but there are important plot lines and elements from the first movie which are adressed here, but it does feel a touch self contained. Ryan Gosling, who I haven't seen in much was a competent lead, I really liked his potrayal of a replicant who just tries to live a normal life but also happens to kill his own kind. I don't think I'm spoiling anything by saying Harrison Ford is in this movie, but you might be surprised to know he doesn't show up until the last 45 minutes, or maybe even an hour before the credits roll, but for the time he is on screen he still does a great job, they don't bring up the whole is he a replicant thing so I still want to say he is human but regardless it was great seeing him in another reprising role. Also, thank you for not killing him off. I already saw that crap once, which is enough for a lifetime. And all the other elemnts of the film are excellent, the music is still very synth heavy like the first and I still love it, the film is rich in visual appeal but I have to say I'm of course more impressed by the original since it was all real but still the movie looks excellent, I like how it's more plot oriented so you don't get confused as to what is going on, and the ending was actually perfect for me! The ending was just what I wanted, it didn't give me more or less, it was just right, and I was very happy to see the movie. I thought it was a very good continuation of the original Blade Runner, it probably won't be looked back on with such high regard as the original but it's still a really good movie and if you feel up to having a double feature in the Blade Runner universe, I say go for it!

Alright, first week of October down. We need to snap to on this horror movie stuff, so be patient we'll have a lot to come very soon so until next time....

Blade Runner

I do not actually think it's fair to review a movie like Blade Runner on the first viewing. Yeah, it took me 22 years to finally see Blade Runner, a movie I've heard so much about and seen referenced countless times and only now have I seen the source material.

So Blade Runner is basically a sci-fi noir film following a detective on the hunt for human replicants for murder, and that's just the plot synopsis from what I saw. This is not a movie you can watch just once in your life, it's a difficult movie to fully describe. It's a quiet movie (I watched The Final Cut, so no voice over.) and you do have to pay attention to even slightly understand the plot. It's a visually rich film without a shadow of a doubt, and in retrospect Ghost In The Shell with Scarlett had much in visual style and art direction to be owed to Blade Runner. In fact almost every science fiction movie after 1982 owes some element to this movie. Now I know this movie is an adaptation of "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?" by Philip K. Dick, and I have read up on it briefly, but even then the movie is it's own entity. I don't know, it's just such a bizzare, mysterious, just strange movie and there's no way in hell anybody can form a true opinion on this film in one viewing, this is a movie that you have to watch multiple times so I may have to break a rule and next year I will rewatch Blade Runner and do an In Retrospect of it. There's just no movie with a look and story like this movie, so I feel really bad actually about writing this review, because I have no words to explain how I feel. I couldn't even really say it's a great or even good movie although I found little wrong with it, so it's just all depending on the person and how many times they are willing to watch it again. So that's why I absolutely have to watch this movie again and talk about it again, because it's just that kind of movie. I'm sorry I was all vague and not highly opinionated, but my mind was accepting what I was viewing and I was highly interested in the movie, it held my attention all the way through, but I just couldn't say anything very definitive besides rich visual appeal, so I have to say go watch this movie and please for the love of all things good in this world tell me what you thought of it, doesn't matter if you've seen it once or 50 times I would love to hear your opinions. All I know for sure is, I want that gun.

In Retrospect: The Force Awakens

Welcome to my new series, where I look back at films that I reviewed while in theaters and now give further reviews now that they are out on video. With that let us look back on The Force Awakens!

Well the movies been out on video for about 3 weeks so here we go. Nothing that I said in my original review of The Force Awakens has changed. I stand by every word I said, but now is the chance to delve more into it. The film still rocks and I still love it! And I can't wait to see Rogue One this December. But back to the present film at hand, I can understand why they took plot elements from Episode IV for this film. They did it to reassure fans that this is not going to be like the prequels and will be truer to the original trilogy. With a familiar and still good plot with great twists to the original idea, original cast members with all new amazing characters, outstanding practical and special effects, and a true succesor to the Original Trilogy. The plot as I stated is similar to Episode IV, with a map leading to the last Jedi in the galaxy Luke Skywalker being hunted by The First Order, a remnant of The Empire headed by Kylo Ren. The plans are placed in a droid and is soon discovered by a scavenger named Rey who takes the droid in her care, and with the help of a AWOL stormtrooper nqmed Finn tries to get the droid back to The Resistance (why they changed it from Rebels I have no idea.) while meeting old friends, new threats, and trying to retain peace in the galaxy. Pretty familiar right? Well a bunch of other stuff happens, that really drives this film from just another carbonite copy of A New Hope. Different but similar settings which feel right at home in the Star Wars universe, outstanding action scenes with the most gritty and realistic lightsaber duel ever commited to film, good dialogue, excellent use of humor, and it's still just so cool knowing Star Wars is back. And what a shock, I have very few issues with the movie! One, I hate that they gave away such a big twist so early in the film, I wish they waited until a more pivotal scene and built more mystery around it. Two, kinda wasted the Captain Phasma character but we should see her in future films. Third, I can't believe they didn't give Mark Hamill one line of dialogue. Ironic since he hasn't appeared in a live action film in quite sometime, and mostly does voice acting work in animated shows or video games. So you hear him but never see him in the cartoons or video games, and then you finally see him in this movie but you never hear him. It's almost too funny to be real. But nevertheless I enjoyed the film, and I caught every damn reference to the Original Trilogy in this film, from the training orb to the substitute cave scene on Dagobah. God I love being an absolute nerd...

The Force Awakens

This movie wrecked me. Emotionally, mentally, almost physically. I want more.

I just saw a new Star Wars movie!!! I am the luckiest fan ever because I was born at the right time. I was 3 when I became a Star Wars fan, when I was 4 The Phantom Menace came out and it ended with Revenge Of The Sith when I was 10. I am now 20 and new Star Wars movies are being made! So how did this brand new chapter hold up? It was original and yet new. It took elements from A New Hope but added it's own spin to it, and that is what this movie is, it is it's own recognizable but new Star Wars movie that is actually very unpredictable in it's characters and actions and thank God for it. This movie took me for twists and turns I can tell you that but I could still see what was coming up. I knew how this movie was going to end but I still loved it! I do not give a shit if you are a Star Wars fan or not you have to go see this movie. I promise it's really good!

The Last Crusade

Yes the final Indiana Jones and the best! Because that fourth one is terrible and you shouldn't watch it.

So this fantastic final chapter of the Indiana Jones trilogy centers around Indy and his companions including his father Henry Jones played by Sean Connery as they search to find the Holy Grail. What's not to like about this movie? It's got James Bond, Indy kicking Nazi ass again, and a huge quest to find the Cup of Christ, it's awesome! If you ask anybody which Indiana Jones movie is the best they will either say Raiders or Crusade but most will say Crusade, and I can't disagree. Our story starts with young Indiana Jones when he recovers an ancient cross from some bandits in the desert. Our story then flashes forward only one year after Raiders Of The Lost Ark when he hears news that his father is missing, so he travels to Venice to try and figure out where his father is. He soon meets up with his father's assistant Elsa who takes him to the library where he was last scene, and through a series of clues they discover not the whereabouts of his father but a crypt containing one of the Knights of the First Crusade. Engraved on the Knight's shield is a clue to find the Grail. Very soon after they meet a secret order that protects the Grail and discover his father has been taken by the Nazis and taken to Munich. So they get to Munich they rescue his father and now the chase is on to discover one of the greatest artifacts in human history. It's got lots of action, very good comedy, intriguing history of the Grail and is just good fun and has a fantastic ending. Go buy these movies. Watch them. Love them.

Temple Of Doom

Yeah, this movie almost got an R rating because of how dark it was, and this was before PG-13 but it helped make that rating.

  So Temple Of Doom actually takes place one year before Raiders, so it's a sequel that's actually a prequel. Bizarre. So our story begins with Indy and his companions escaping a nightclub in Shanghai and eventually their plane crashes in India where they discover a village in immense turmoil. Their land is dying, their children have been stolen, and their sacred Sankara stones have been missing. So Indy and company travel to a previously deserted palace to investigate the theft of the sacred stone and the missing children and uncover a sinister cult who idolize an evil Hindu god. Now I'm shocked as to how many people I have met who say they don't like this movie, and it's mainly down to two reasons: his companions, Short Round and Willie. Now I can kinda understand why, Willie is a shrieking club singer who is swept up in this adventure and she is kind of annoying. She hates and is afraid of damn near everything and it can get really grating. And some people hate Short Round, I kinda like him. He's a fun kid who looks up to Indy as a father and really cares about him. I can't understand the hate toward this character. But if their were faults with the supporting companions, it is made up for by our villain Mola Ram played by Amrish Puri, this guy is a great villain. I can't even explain why but I can try, he's sinister, he is the head of the cult, he's played pretty damn well by the actor, and he just really works. I think this is a good Indiana Jones movie, and I hope that you agree. By all means, give this movie a shot it is worth it.

And that concludes my review of the second Indiana Jones movie, tune in tomorrow when we review the third and in many people's opinions including my own the best.

Raiders Of The Lost Ark

Well I figured we could look at the Indiana Jones trilogy this week, since we just finished the Star Wars saga last week and Steven Spielberg and George Lucas helped each other making both series so it really ties together well.

So how does the first Indiana Jones film hold up after over thirty years? Amazingly well. This is one of the greatest action-adventure movies of all time, and a classic to behold. So our story follows this particular adventure of famed archaeologist Indiana Jones played to perfection by Harrison Ford in pursuit of The Ark of The Covenant. We follow his travels from the university where he is a professor to the mountains of Nepal to retrieve a headpiece of the Staff of Ra to find the location of the Ark. There he meets an old flame of his, Marion played wonderfully by Karen Allen who becomes his partner in crime. They then travel to Cairo to meet with an old excavating friend of Indy's, Sallah played by John-Rhys Davies who is a joy to watch, soon they discover the location of the Ark and must protect it from the Nazis. A lot of the tropes and what you could consider cliches found in treasure hunting movies and epic action-adventure films were made popular by this movie, but it doesn't take absolutely anything away from it, it's still a spectacular movie that should be seen by all. I couldn't recommend this movie anymore, go out and watch it, you will love it. I think the best part of the entire movie besides the great cast and the unforgettable opening scene is the buildup to the Ark. You don't see it until near the end but hints are dropped as to how unearthly and truly dangerous this relic is. It legitimately makes me cautious as to our characters getting closer and closer to this artifact from wrath of God times. I'm sorry I didn't delve into it that much but I want there to be some mystery as to what happens in this film if you haven't seen it already. Wait until you see the end, you'll freak out a bit. So bottom line, watch Raiders Of The Lost Ark, I promise you that you will enjoy it greatly.

So tomorrow we will review the Indiana Jones movie that almost got an R rating and has a very split audience even to this day.

Return Of The Jedi

Well, here it is. The last of the original Star Wars trilogy. After this we get to look at the prequels...yeah, not really looking forward to that for the most part, but anyway Return Of The Jedi!




So Return Of The Jedi is set a few months after the events of the last movie. The Empire has constructed a new Death Star much more powerful than the first, Luke has finished his Jedi training, and Han Solo is still trapped in carbonite. So first things first, Luke has to go rescue his friend from the clutches of the grotesque Jabba The Hutt on his home planet Tatooine. Now a few things to cover before we carry on with the story, now in past movies we keep hearing about this Jabba The Hutt and that he's bad news, but they don't really tell you what he looks like so you're mind is thinking of all kinds of things of how he looks and he's pretty gross basically a giant slug. Just, eck! Second, Luke Skywalker is a Jedi now. He is so different from when we saw him in The Empire Strikes Back, he's no longer whining about his training, he has complete faith in himself and his abilities, and he has mastered the Force because before he like really had to concentrate to use the Force, now it's instantaneous! Oh, and he's got a brand new cool lightsaber! So back to the story, they save Han and Luke debarks back to the Dagobah system one last time to finish his training. And sadly, master Yoda is dying of old age and reveals to Luke several things, he has to confront Vader to truly become a Jedi, after Yoda dies Luke is the only Jedi left in the galaxy, and there is another member of the Skywalker family. And yes, I do get misty-eyed when Yoda dies, it's depressing. Meanwhile on the second Death Star, The Emperor himself, Darth Vader's master arrives to corrupt young Skywalker to the dark side. And The Emperor is just magnificent played to sinister perfection by Ian McDiarmid. If Darth Vader made me love villains, The Emperor makes me want to be them more than anything. Soon the Rebels learn of the new Death Star and have to of course, take it out. But there's a hitch, it has a shield surrounding it and the only way to deactivate the shield is to destroy the shield generator before their fleet arrives to begin their assault on the Death Star. And this is where our Rebel friends meet the Ewoks, and this is either the second most hated life form in Star Wars history next to Jar Jar Binks, or is the most cute and adorable thing ever introduced into Star Wars. I am shocked at how divided people are to these little teddy bear looking things, I thought they were cute and harmless even though they make a mockery of my beloved Empire. So anyway, Luke confronts Vader on Endor and Vader takes him to The Emperor. So now we have a three way battle in this film, the fight to take out the shield generator, the fight to take out the Death Star, and the fight to defeat Darth Vader and The Emperor. And all the fights are really well done, but of course the final duel between Luke and Vader is the showstopper, there is so much emotion in this fight, more so than I think in any Star Wars movie. True, the duel between Luke and Vader in Cloud City is the best of the original trilogy, but this has serious emotions charging this fight, I mean there is a point where Luke just snaps. He is coming at Vader with all of his resolve and all of his anger, and this is not one of those carefully choreographed fight scenes you see in the prequels, Luke is swinging his lightsaber like a bat just hitting everything and really catching Vader off guard to the point where he cuts Vader's right hand off to reveal he has a robot hand just like Luke. So he defeats Darth Vader and The Emperor is just taunting Luke to kill him and Luke just won't do that. So he throws his lightsaber down, saying he will never turn to the dark side and he is a Jedi like his father before him. So The Emperor decides if he will not join us he will die, and then he proceeds to shoot lightning out of his fingers!! The Jedi can go screw themselves for all I care, this was the final moment that made me fully embrace the Empire and the dark side! I'd love to see the Jedi try that. So The Emperor is just torturing Luke, surging his body with electricity as he is begging Darth Vader to save him, and this is a great moment. You see the camera zoom in on Darth Vader's face and you can tell he's really conflicted and he still has the mask on and everything. So he looks to Luke and back to his master, picks The Emperor up over his head and throws him over a railing into the reactor where he disintegrates. Meanwhile the Rebels destroy the shield generator and they send in the fighters to destroy the Death Star, so Luke has to get out of there and he takes Darth Vader with him, and he asks Luke to take his mask off because he is dying and he wants to see his son with his own eyes. I'm sorry! I spoiled the surprise, but it's very difficult to talk about this movie without giving that away! So Luke obeys his father and slowly takes his mask off to reveal the scarred face of Anakin Skywalker, who tells Luke he saved him and to leave him, but Luke refuses and watches his father die and escapes the Death Star before it is blown up. At the celebration on Endor, Luke creates a funeral pyre for his father and burns his body. Later he sees the spirits of Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Yoda watching over him.



This concludes the original Star Wars trilogy. Thank you so much for joining me for this and tomorrow we will review the movie that disappointed and enraged millions of Star Wars fans.

Star Wars

It's Star Wars day! But that's not good enough for me, so we will be having a Star Wars week here, where everyday starting from today and ending Saturday I will be reviewing all the Star Wars movies!



So here it is, the one that started it all and my favorite movie of all time! What is there to say about Star Wars? It's one of the greatest movies ever made, it ushered in a new cultural phenomenon that has lasted to this very day, and it's groundbreaking special effects have paved the way for modern technology to flourish. There is too much to say about Star Wars, but we will focus today on the original 1977 version, no special edition version because Han does not shoot first, among other things. So Star Wars, if you've been living under a rock for almost 40 years is an epic sci-fi saga set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away centering around the journey of Luke Skywalker becoming a Jedi. We'll get to the story of the prequel movies soon. So why is this movie above all others my favorite movie of all time? Well it being the first movie I ever saw makes a huge impact, and it making me the happy geek I am today makes a huge difference. I shudder to think who the hell I would be if I never saw Star Wars at the age of 2 or 3. I am the biggest Star Wars fan you will ever meet. No seriously I can quote this whole movie from beginning to end...with sound effects and music included! I have seen it that many times! I love it so much, I have such a huge passion for it even after all these years, it's unbelievable. I love the story, it's concepts, it's ideas, it's technology, it's planets, everything! The characters are unforgettable, we have Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker who has this very simple life but is thrust into action led by a wise mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi played masterfully by Sir Alec Guiness,on their travels they meet a smuggler Han Solo played by Harrison Ford and his copilot Chewbacca played by Peter Mayhew, and are accompanied by two robots C-3PO played by Anthony Daniels and R2-D2 played by Kenny Baker who have to go save Princess Leia played by Carrie Fisher from the evil Galactic Empire headed by Darth Vader played epically by both David Prowse and James Earl Jones and the sinister Grand Moff Tarkin played beyond perfection by the incredible Peter Cushing. Seriously it is because of Darth Vader that I always wanted the villain to win in every movie when I was a kid, because the villains were way more interesting than the heroes, and made me the evil Sith Lord I am today. I could write a 300 page essay on Star Wars, but I will try and keep this short. The dialogue is so quotable, I think almost 100% of what I said when I was a little kid was a quote from Star Wars. The music is perfect, this is John Williams best score ever and it still gives me goosebumps and almost brings tears to my eyes. It's very difficult to describe the appeal of Star Wars for me,it's really just something you will have to experience for yourself if you haven't seen it already. And if you have seen it before, what are you doing reading this? Go watch Star Wars! It may not be a perfect movie, but I love it more than any other movie ever.


So check back tomorrow for my review of the sequel that surpasses the original, and is considered by many to be the absolute best Star Wars movie.


May the Force be with you.