X-Men

This has been coming, and I couldn't think of anything else to do.

It has been probably about...12 years since I have watched any of the X-Men movies and I've only seen the first 3, plus Logan. I don't think my opinion has changed much. And I saw this movie on VHS when I was like 7 years old and had no clue what the f*** was occuring. My expansive knowledge of Marvel included the Hulk, from the TV show and the Ang Lee movie, and the Sam Raimi Spiderman movie. That's it. And you better believe I was playing 20 questions every 30 odd minutes. I was so young I had no concept of the opening scene which Jesus Christ, what a grim way to open your film. F*** me. And I think the worst part is I still have zero idea what to make of the movie. Cause it brings up a lot in it's runtime and I still have questions. The plot isn't too busy though, Logan and Rogue are thrown into this academy led by Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise-D, as they learn more about Xavier, his students, and his frenemy Magneto played by the extraordinary man himself Ian McKellen. And my God the love triangle of Hugh, Patrick, and Ian is the goal of life, they have immeasurable adoration and respect for one another because of this movie series so I can never judge it too harshly. For a movie over 20 years old, and excuse me while I cry in a corner after saying that, it's not a horrible comic book movie. At the time this got a lot of praise, finally they made a live action X-Men show, oh my God I loved the 90s cartoon so this was a dream come true, it did pretty good. Does that still stand? No. But again, they were just starting off, comic book movies were in a massive decline and were oh so slowly clawing their way from the abyss, so I have to give it respect for taking a step towards the bright future where we are today. I think it's a decent adaptation of the source material, though I know little of it but I got the comic references, the actors do fine work and are commited, the effects are hit and miss but the practical usage in this movie I feel was done very well. It's not all flashy CG, you'd be surprised how much they actually do. You can tell there's wirework and breakable sets but I'd rather see that than a green screen. Do I think the sequels will improve in some ways? Oh sure. Hell I'll probably enjoy them more, maybe even give a higher score. But the first X-Men movie isn't horrible, it's a decent albeit average comic book movie that helped pave the way for better things to come. 2.5 stars, 6/10. It was weeeird seeing Hugh Jackman be skinny bollocks in the first movie, the guy has always been in good shape but he filled that role so much in the future (full pun intended), and you lord that casting choice forever over your wife Hugh, because you are too grand.

The Phantom Menace

You know...I used to like this movie as a kid. I thought it was a good Star Wars movie. Now...well let's talk about it, shall we?



I dreaded watching this movie. I haven't seen this movie in 10 years, I remember this movie well. I honestly don't know what to think about it, it's just okay. There's bad stuff in it, but there's also good stuff. Very few good stuff but good stuff nevertheless. So what's the story? Here we go....okay, so a Trade Federation has set up a blockade around the planet of Naboo and the senate of the Galactic Republic has sent two Jedi knights, Obi-Wan Kenobi played by Ewan McGregor , and Qui-Gon Jinn played by Liam Neeson, and they are sent to investigate. They soon uncover a plan that will take over the entire planet all because of, I have no idea. I don't think they give a reason that actually makes sense in this movie, I think because it has something to do with the Trade Federation and taxation, you know the stuff you REALLY want to hear in a Star Wars movie! But moving on. Okay so they meet up with Queen Amidala played by Natalie Portman and they get off the planet, but their ship gets damaged so they have to land on Tatooine to find new parts. They meet a slave by the name of Anakin Skywalker played by Jake Lloyd, who helps them get the parts they need and helps them fix the ship. The Jedi knights are astonished by how strong he is in the Force and believes he is part of a prophecy that tells of a Chosen One that will bring balance to the Force and destroy the Sith. So they take him to the Jedi Temple on the planet Coruscant to begin his Jedi training, and then we briefly touch on the political side of Star Wars...yay. Honestly it's not that bad it's only one or two scenes, but you don't care. And I know the reason why they put it in the movie, to establish how the Republic turned into the Empire, but they delve more into that in the sequels. So the Queen says, Naboo's my planet and we are taking it back, so they head back over to Naboo to capture the leader of the Trade Federation and liberate the planet. This is really just the cliff notes version of the film, I'm sorry I just don't want to talk about it that much, I don't like it and I really don't want to rant that much either. So for the sake of this review, let's talk about the good things which aren't that many. This is really just kind of a forgettable Star Wars movie and that breaks my heart, but it's true. So here are the good points, the cast for the most part was chosen very wisely. Liam Neeson is a wise mentor to young Obi-Wan, Ewan McGregor is a very, very good Obi-Wan. Ian McDiarmid is still great as always, but they don't give him much to work with sadly, Natalie Portman does a fairly good job as the Queen. Ray Park is a total bad ass as Darth Maul, and oh yeah I love Darth Maul in this movie! He's the saving grace in this dreary wreck, the final lightsaber duel is nothing like you have ever seen before in Star Wars and it is amazing! The fight choreography is superb, Ray Park gives a very impressive show of his stunt work talents, and it's just a great fight! The music by John Williams is still great, the special effects although over 15 years old look pretty damn good and still hold up surprisingly, but it's not all perfect. It's a mixed bag, I can only recommend it if you really are interested in the story taking place almost twenty years before the first Star Wars movie, and you just have more of an open mind than most other people. But if you don't, you're not missing much so you can skip it.


Tune in tomorrow when we talk about Attack Of The Clones, which I'm also not all too excited for.