Love Hurts

First rom-com actionsploitation I've reviewed?

Could be! That's quite a few genres to juggle and the movie handles that...adequately. I pretty much knew the movie I was walking into, a fun albeit basic action comedy with our golden boy Ke Huy Quan and that's what I got! Following a realtor who has a shady past that sucker punches him out of the blue he quickly finds his life upturned, an old flame returns, and he has to square off with his brother to gain some semblance of normalcy back. It mostly succeeds in the action part, got a few laughs from me, and I will admit Ke and Ariana are cute at times but there would be tiny changes I would make. I mean the movie doesn't even clock in at 90 minutes with credits so I feel even a slightly longer runtime could make a big difference. I think the biggest detraction is the editing and even then it's sporadic, prime example: in the middle of a fight scene we get this POV shot from inside a microwave as the turntable does it's thing and I think oh wow, a shot I've never seen before in an action movie this is gr-and then they just fucking cut! Odd ass choices like that can have a negative effect. I will say however I somehow liked 90% of the characters and didn't want them to die, yes even the henchmen which is wild and they write them in such a unique way to where you strangely get invested. Like this assassin who writes poetry or this buddy duo where one of the guys tries to get back with his lady friend, it's very original! I very much liked that! It's definitely an action movie first and I will own up and say it actually is really rock solid choreography that even got a "Oooh shit!" moment out of me at one of the falls the stuntguys took, and they even do the thing where this dust cloud puffs up after a hit in true martial arts fashion, so props to them on that. The comedy is more unannounced I guess I could say, it doesn't build up to a punchline or anything it's more just hearing people talk humorously but it sorta works. I wasn't completely sold on the romance angle, a lot of the history between Marvin and Rose is kept off screen and the time they do spend together feels more like kindred partners in crime than romantic opposites but they do have small moments, and it's not really at the forefront so I can't be too harsh on it. Ke Huy Quan is a joy, shocker I know, able to pull off a simple man trying to make his way through the galaxy and asskicker extraordinaire seamlessly, and does not look half bad with a nice suit and a moustache either! Ariana DeBose is decent, she certainly has that off her rocker criminal edge down pretty good and though not really prevalent a lot gets the job done. Hell we see Lio Tipton as one of Marvin's office staff Ashley way more and man, I kept having to shake my head clear cause that woman is a little too similar to Emma Stone like it was fuggin' weird! Pretty fun though and was my second favorite performance of the film! Mustafa Shakir easily is the most well designed in costuming, and as the assassin who writes poetry Raven he gets some flowery dialogue as well as some good action so thumbs up from me. Daniel Wu as our main villain Knuckles is pretty standard (aside from a boba tea addiction) but pulls it off with ease. It's an okay movie, more on the average decent side than cult classic gem in the making, but it's entertaining enough for at least one viewing. 2 stars, 6.5/10, I'll do proper romance films next week for the holiday so see you then!

The Goonies

I know, I know, took almost a decade to finally get around to Goonies. I was kinda surprised too!

It's funny, I was never heavily nostalgic for The Goonies and while I have seen the movie many many years ago probably before I was even a teen, it still holds up remarkably well! Set in a seaside town a group of friends in an attempt to save their homes from being torn down find a treasure map and against all logic or reason decide to go for it, surpassing traps and capture from a band of criminals hot on their heels for mass amount of booty. Yo-ho! For a movie just a notch over 1½ hours even I was surprised how much time they set everything up before the hunt begins, a good 20 to 25 minutes as a matter of fact which I get! We got a lot of characters here and while they are far from deep are immensely charming and memorable and I could talk about every single cast member truth be told because of how good the performances are and how I really couldn't dream of anyone else playing these kids and it kinda breaks my heart I can't delve into everyone in great detail, so I'll shoutout my faves. Sean Astin my man, I love you my man, has such an innocence and wonder about him at all this stuff even in the midst of a death defying task, easily the heart of the group. Of course I have to shoutout our king Ke Huy Quan, I believe this was right on the cusp of Temple Of Doom and his hair brained gadgets and wild persona was a sheer blast to watch and lowkey honestly has the best look out of all the characters bar none! Jeff Cohen need I really say more, asode from Sloth is the face of this movie in the popular culture and I have to admit he got the most laughs out of me very easily, and I strongly relate to a foodaholic that doesn't want trouble. John Matuszak even though he's not in the movie all that much, Sloth is a beast all of his own and despite the impressive prosthetics showcases a lot of love and fun and you wouldn't have to ask me twice to share some rocky road with him. I have no friggin' clue how they got Robert Davi to be in this because he is a man of intensity and awesome in his acting but it was nothing short of great to see him here. The production is absolutely top notch without a shadow of a doubt, LOTS of intricate and well designed sets, simple but good stunts, and a scale that even the main cast were blown away by when it came to, I shit you not, a fully built pirate ship! Sure there is some blue screen effects but my God this movie has some polish on it that is sorely missing from cinema today! And I guess the saying of "Brevity is the soul of wit" shines through here because it is a simple story with simple characters, but the writing and humor is so good you don't need an inch more than what is presented on screen. The humor often comes out of left field but got good strong laughs out of me at points throughout the film. It's just highly entertaining and no wonder people look at it so fondly and have became big fans of it! Anybody can watch it, anybody can love it, really and truly everyone on that crew deserves the praise. Great cast, solid director, a simple but engaging story, culminating in a film that has stood the test of time admirably. 3.5 stars, 8/10! Ooooh did someone say pirates in space tomorrow? Cause that's all I need!

In Retrospect: Everything Everywhere All At Once

I'm such an emotional mess.



Did this film just get better than it already was on repeat viewing?? Yep. We're 2 for 2 now with me being fucking speechless after witnessing all this again. I genuinely cannot find words to encapsulate my love and immense appreciation for a film like this. Oh sure I can try, but it all kinda falls flat for me. It's just such a dissection of life or more importantly the emotions and relationships formed through life, altruism versus nihilism, generational gaps, happiness, and the clear acceptance that life and the universe is finite. We just kinda needed a film with such a positive message in this day and age. Some people I'm sure say, Dude you're too optimistic. You're too forgiving. You're not critical enough. You find something positive in almost every film you review. What's the alternative I ask? There is an abundance of negativity and more often than not about things that quite frankly don't matter much. There are much more serious things to get pissed off at than a movie or a show I assure you. But this film brings such a mix of feelings and thoughts that boil to the surface to where it's just jumbled emotions and words, as humams truly are. I mean obviously the writing is stellar but the punch to it, the impact it leaves behind on you after the fact, comes from Michelle Yeoh, Stephanie Hsu, and Ke Huy Quan. Can we just fucking stop and appreciate the shit out of Stephanie Hsu in this picture? Yeah sure, Michelle Yeoh is the bomb no question or doubt but Stephanie is the root of why this movie is as great as it is in my eyes. The emotion, the ideological stance, the tribulations she feels are what set the plot into motion yes, but there's much more to it than that. I've flat out seen individuals who hail from different cultural backgrounds praise the movie for touching on generation gaps and how the relationship between parents and their kids needs to change, have changed, should continue to be changed for the better. It strikes a chord in my heart seeing this story play out to where it's getting to the point where tears are being held back just so I can see what I'm typing. Ke Huy Quan is the heart, the optimism, the love that eventually saves the day, and I know people almost seem to be disgusted or at least apathetic towards positivity and happiness these days, something to be admonished or considered used for ulterior motives so it must be dismissed. But I know for a fact compassion is not weakness. The fact that it takes a stand in such a realm when faced with a quite literal embodiment of nihilistic and zero shits given about life, the universe, and everything, showing how optimism is not only necessary but encouraged to face life and all it's difficulties even when things are at their worst. My personal stance on that is, if human beings were never meant to be happy in the first place we wouldn't be able to compose the chemicals in our brain to feel so. It's just an uplifting story with a pro-life choice (not of the political sphere value but just to enjoy and revel in life while you have the time to do so). I can't nitpick it. I can't hate it. Is it the best movie I've ever seen in my life? Well, I certainly have more favorite films....but at the same time I'm not saying no am I? Beautiful, that's how I'd describe it. Totally fucking gorgeous. A must own movie in my estimation, in all my counter culture, open minded, optimistic point of view. 5/4 stars, 20/10, gold sticky stars abound.

Everything Everywhere All At Once

I think I just saw the best movie of the year.

I was heavily upset when I couldn't see this movie last week, it took some time to fully release, so the wait was well worth it. I really don't want to say anything, watch the trailer and go see the movie. Now that's not too much of a review but the trailer sets the plot up, with Evelyn a normal everyday mom thrown head first into the deep end of the concept of multiverses and alternate realities as a cross dimensional threat enters her universe and she amongst billions is the one to beat it. It was f***ing brilliant, it was f***ing wild, absolute class, this is what film was made for, the end. Michelle Yeoh who is still phenomenal as ever plays the part perfectly cause we know as little as she does so it's a perfect window into the story, and God bless that woman is still stunning, I loved her so. Ke Huy Quan is easily the heart of the cast, being a very optimistic and sweet emotional crux of the story that some people might say it's too sugary sweet but I wouldn't have it any other way. Stephanie Hsu...just wow. First thing I've seen her in and what an impression, I know she was going to have some solid standing in terms of plot but it got cranked to 11 and the whole dynamic/dilemma of the relationship between mother and daughter is explored creatively. I love how they explain the branching paths and different universes, where someone can tap into another life and gain their abilities and memories but because worlds are colliding and the barriers are fracturing, actions carry over into the other world. So if you bump into a wall or trip, the other you would do the same thing regardless of surroundings. It's appropriately mind bending but it's a good kind of what the hell is going on, where you want to see more, you want to learn about it, it almost surpasses all boundaries and genre of cinema. The conflict is handled beautifully and I know some people will roll their eyes and compare the movie to an episode of the Care Bears but some problems you just can't fix with a fist. The movie takes a incredibly nihilistic and caution free stance, and yet fully embraces an optimistic and positive frame of mind about life. And I think the reason why I liked that so much is because that is my view on things, everyone's gonna die, we're just one planet among trillions, nobody really knows anything, but who says you can't enjoy life? It's a tremendous film that does a lot but never loses track of itself or it's message. I loved it beyond words, and I hope others do too despite the fact it is a lot to take in. 1,600 years ago everyone knew the Earth was the center of the universe, 600 years ago everyone knew the Earth was flat, and 2 hours and 19 minutes ago I thought I was someone else. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow. 4 stars, 10/10.