Death Of A Unicorn

Weirdest damn ending I have seen in considerable time!

But bless A24 for just existing. If you've seen the trailer for this movie, it is exactly what is advertised! A dark comedy centered on a single dad and his daughter who meet with a very affluent family after ramming into a unicorn on the road and have the bright idea to bring the mostly dead creature with them, until bodies start getting gored by the big mama of the family. I would claim fucking white people as to why there are so many consecutive horrible decisions in this movie but I can much more safely say fucking rich people, oh big shock there that they continuously rape a situation from bad to worse but my dear lord I have rarely seen a cast of characters so utterly contemptable and annoying in all my years. When there's only two characters I like, Wednesday and Victor Zsasz we got problems! Yeah, even Paul Rudd is a tool of the highest proportions which on one hand I commend to see him as this not 100% altruistic guy like usual but oof, he was getting zero love from me from almost the word go. Not to say the acting is bad, quite far from it! Do I look like the kind of Dude who is going to be upset seeing Richard E. Grant in anything? Him, Tèa Leoni, and Will Poulter play these self serving rich asshats so incredibly well with good humor sprinkled in, that I kinda forget I'm watching actors. It's that Umbridge Effect as I like to call it. It's actually funny how if you took the bloody as hell kills and swearing out, this is almost shockingly like a low effort family film, this distant work addicted dad gets to grow closer to his daughter after harming a mythical creature that these money grubbing swine that he works with want to capture and profit from the magical beast but they stop them in the end, hooray! Which is either unintentional genius or they knew what kind of tone they wanted and just cranked up the adult elements. But it's an okay movie, the dark humor doesn't hit constantly but certainly had it's moments, the setting is simple and it does have pretty scenery, the soundtrack once again was kinda doing it for me, the effects are solid and the way they kinda get free reign to make up the magic abilities of the unicorn was fun, and the story while simple still worked. I think I do see it more as a movie that gets a bigger crowd years down the road once it hits video, but it's worth a watch at the cinemas if the trailer striked your fancy a little bit. Far from their best but decent stuff! 2.5 stars, 7/10, and that about does it for a good while until the next new release comes out so be safe, be good people, and I'll see you at the movies.

Cemetery Man

Uhhhh, oookay then.

Yet another film that's been on the list for October reviews since nearly the beginning, and boy is it a strange one. You can summarize it either super concisely or so convolutedly it'll make your brain spin, but just for the sake of brevity here's the short version. The groundskeeper and gravedigger of a cemetery named Francesco Dellamorte lives a quiet life, he attends to funerals, chats with his one friend in the city, and every 7 days after a funeral blows the rising dead's head open. It doesn't explain why zombies appear or what causes it, it's just another day at work for Mr. Dellamorte. And it only gets friggin' weirder from there man. A lot happens, love is lost and found again, murders start cropping up, the grim reaper arrives in person, it is so fuggin' WEIRD! The film has a very dry dark sense of humor but it's not prevalent from start to finish, it more has it's moments peppered throughout and you almost start laughing from the absurdity of it all. Rupert Everett is a name I'm familiar with from more of his movies after this, and I know some people may criticize his deadpan delivery but I feel that was a concious decision by the director and it works to the film's advantage. The romance between him and Anna Flachi who we never learn the name of her character strangely, is bizarre to say the least but she has a fair bit to work with and is very nice to look at but I won't dwell on that. François Hadji-Lazaro as Francesco's bumbling assistant Gnaghi just adds to the surrealness of the picture and got the most laughs out of me. The director's style for this film is what helps give it a lot of unique charm, if I had to equate it to something similar I'd say it has this Robert Rodriguez' El Mariachi mixed with Sam Raimi's Evil Dead 2 sort of vibe, it's unique even today. What compounds the weirdness further is it's an italian production made in Italy and yet every actor speaks english, and I don't mean they dub an actor from italian to english I mean every actor is fluent in english. Cemetery Man is the States title and the title in Italy is DellaMorte DellaMore, so it's slightly confusing. It's a rare and almost unidentifiable beast of cinema and it no doubt has it's cult audience. From the dreamlike story that doesn't rely heavily on logic, to the quite great special effects, to the oddball humor, to the just plain what the funk style of the direction, it's a trip to watch. It may seem predictable near the beginning and you may even think it goes a certain direction at one point, but naw man. You ain't seen nothing yet. Just seriously give this a watch! I'm still questioning whether all that I have seen was real or just the by product of a very tired strung out mind, so let's get this fucker in the can. Again kinda hard to find on video but you can snag a high quality version on YouTube if you search for the italian title. 3 stars, 7.5/10! And it is most certainly time to look back and expand upon a most divisive film. Next time let's talk about Halloween Ends.

Clay Pigeons

A request that was well worth watching.

This was weird. Not to say at all I didn't like it, I just knew nothing about it and was very pleasantly surprised. It's been a hot minute since I've seen a movie cement a tone so solidly and quickly in just the opening scene and it actually is a movie up my alley, weird and funny but dark. So our story goes that an average mechanic named Clay while out with his buddy, doing the most sensible thing imaginable, drinking beers and shooting shit when things go bonkers and his friend offs himself which starts a bad trend as several close people to Clay start dying and in the meantime he meets this delightfully bizzare guy named Lester who he forms an unsual friendship with. Things get so bad the FBI get called in and the stakes rise from there as Clay tries to prove he had nothing to do with the killings and find the real culprit. I probably had the dumbest smile on my face throughout this movie cause it's just such a weird, odd, off center movie but that's genuinely the strong point. Now the actors are pretty solid, Joaquin Phoenix class act as ever, Vince Vaughn who I'm not super keen on might have delivered my favorite performance of his career I mean this guy. Let me tell you about dis guy, he is un-f***ing-believable but he can come off very down to earth and likable. Last but not least we got Janeane Garoffalo, who is undoubtedly the straightfaced normal character but she might have made me laugh the most, she's just so not here to put up with people's bullshit, and shawty I love you for it. In terms of direction, it's not super striking or memorable albeit you get some quite lovely wide shots of the mountain ranges around the town, but neither is it at all bad. The director knows how to make the script leap off the page and delivers a memorable and severely off movie that is fun and very engaging to watch. And of course I gotta bring it up...because it's true, but guys the Hannibal vibes were off the charts here. Like, if you want a cliffnotes version of almost the whole show of Hannibal watch this movie. Possible gay bromance, murder, protagonist gets locked up but soon chases the villain, you got the FBI involved, there's a fair bit of will our hero run off with our villain or apprehend him for the authorities, I mean if Bryan Fuller didn't take some notes off this movie for his show I'll be damned surprised cause that is a coincidence unlike any I've encountered. Tangent over, go watch it. 3.5 stars, 7.5/10!

Lolita

Ohhh my God, I picked a doozy for the first real review of the month.

I am kinda speechless after watching Lolita. I don't even really know where to begin. I kinda loved it! I know that is so weird to say but, I really loved Lolita! I had a ball watching this movie and enjoyed it on multiple levels, and I will admit I have not read the novel so I had no frame of reference for anything. I just knew it was a controversial book that was adapted into a well known and slightly controversial film. Yes, it is the story of a middle aged man who becames infatuated and obsessed with a young teenage girl but the story goes well and far beyond this taboo relationship. In fact, the movie surprised me quite a bit but in the best way possible. First of all, I didn't know it was a black and white film which was a nice change of pace and it really does look nice. The second and most huge of the surprises was how funny this movie was, I was laughing way more than I ever thought possible with a film like Lolita, but I guess it shouldn't have been too much of a shock since Peter Sellers is in the movie but it is genuinely funny and I think that is what tipped this movie from a good movie to a pretty grand movie. Last but not least are the performances, now I fully expected decent performances but it gave me so much more than that. James Mason is great, I know this couldn't have been an easy role to take considering the subject matter but the film isn't exploitative and he handles the dramatics very well, and I honestly could just listen to him talk for hours, he just has a great voice. Peter Sellers brings his usual absurd and arguably camp perfomance which easily made me just crack up, his delivery and more importantly his dialogue is so odd and yet so damn funny. That's the best way I can describe the comedic tone to this movie, very odd but still makes you laugh. In fact, you'll know by the end of the first scene whether or not you'll like this movie. But I have to give so much credit to Sue Lyon as our eponymous character. Oh my stars, she is brilliant! Brilliant! For an actress who was 15 during the production she handles this performance just right, she's funny, she can be a bit of a wise ass, she's a totally real teenager, and I wish so badly I could divulge into her character arc but it would be a huge detriment to not only her acting but the latter parts of the story. Needless to say I was very impressed and genuinely loved how they potrayed her. I feel a lot of people assume the film is as smutty as the book, but you honestly don't see anything and for good reason. The film would probably be banned if they explored it more and even today it can be viewed as this taboo, video nasty, sort of forbidden film though all of the more ahem, mature aspects have to be inferred into and are never fully spelt out. It's not this film that advocates in favor of such a relationship and says it's totally fine, it's not. Truthfully, hand over my heart, it plays like a drama about just two people in a relationship. The age of Lolita is hardly ever brought up, and the film incorporates a passage of time element so you're never really sure of her age, and the uh...physical aspect is only brought up once. Now I'm not saying it's good or right, the film just potrays this form of relationship in a different light and could be told today without the age difference and still hold up. I won't spoil anything minor or major, but really pay attention to how Lolita and Humbert differ from each other as the film progresses. There's a genuine growth, and the ending for Lolita is a very happy one with her life at a pleasant place with a bright future. It's such a different film and deserving of the praise it has gathered since it was released in 1962, and I do urge more people to see it and to simply judge it on it's merits rather than preconceptions. It just isn't the film you suspect. 8/10!

Heathers

Huh. Well that was interesting.

Now trust me, I get it. I get the message, the characters, and the story. Did I love it? No. Did I like it? Yes, very much! I feel the movie is more in the vein of say, American Psycho in terms of humor, story elements, and characters. I feel American Psycho did it way better, but there were many parts of this movie that I really enjoyed. Basic story follows a girl named Veronica, she's in the popular girl group at high school where you guessed correctly, they are all insufferable, miserable, bordering sociopathic bitches. Veronica flat out hates being with them, why does she hang out with them? I don't know. Is it like an abused spouse just coming back for more? Beats me. But one days she meets this guy, JD he's a bit of a lone wolf, bit odd, and pretty much just says, "Hey you wanna kill all the popular kids?" and Veronica's all, "Yeah sure." so they do that in hopes of making their school a better place. Do they succeed? Short answer, no. Long answer, watch the movie. Onto the good stuff! I loved the feel of the movie, it's very offbeat, with dark humor, blunt characters (albeit very stereotyped but that is the film's intention), and just plain odd circumstances. I know exactly how the film was supposed to be potrayed and was potrayed, I greatly appreciate the message at the end and find it downright genius, and the whole subjugation and analysis of teenage culture, specifically high school groups is correct. But I feel it works mainly in the 80s. High schools have changed significantly, not every kid wants to be the popular kid, in fact while there are still those groups, you got your popular kids, your geeky kids, your punk rock rebels, whatever, most kids while part of groups still do their own thing. It's like they grew a brain stem and just said, "Hey I'm gonna be me. Screw you guys.". And that's awesome! I was in high school not that long ago, I remember this stuff. But again, the film is satirizing and without a doubt putting these stereotypes on steroids, I get the point. I really do. I can see why the movie has a cult fanbase. But not everyone is going to like it. If you watched and enjoyed a movie like American Psycho, Heathers is more or less likely to be up your alley. I can only recommend the movie if your taste in movies slides that way or if you really love absurdist satirical works of cultures. It's not a bad movie! Winona Ryder is a very good lead, you understand her situation and why she does these things, the film does not glorify the murders of schoolmates and shows that it does have consequences, Christian Slater really was made for this part, but again you have to be in the right mindset and have the correct....I guess taste in movies for you to get it. If not you're probably just going to wonder why you spent nearly 2 hours of your life watching this. I understand the movie, it's fans, and the satire. But I do not love this movie, though I do think it is a very good movie.