Mortal Kombat II

Oh thank God, it's better!

Actually a vast improvement on every front in my estimation, I actually had a pretty good time with this movie! Damn near everyone is back but what kinda took me by surprise is how much time we spend with newcomers Kitana played by Adeline Rudolph and Johnny fucking Cage played by Karl fucking Urban which isn't necessarily a bad thing, Kitana has major ties to our new big bad on the scene Shao Khan and I really loved what they did with Johnny making him a washed up martial arts film star thrown into the deep end of the pool. Of course it's great to see Jessica, Ludi, and Tadanobu again and they still do very fine work, hell I'll even give a bit of credit and say they juggled the roster list pretty solidly! Everyone gets their own fights and moments to shine equally which has always kinda been the cardinal sin with the fighting games turned into movies. This really does seem like a movie for the fans, so much was thrown in from characters, to arenas, to moves, to little easter eggs here and there. Now can I freely admit to you all the last Mortal Kombat game I played was coincidentally 2 on the Super Nintendo and technically 3 on the arcade cabinet? Just did. So there's probably a good bit that I missed but the fact alone we got my favorite character Baraka in this, and he was great, and they didn't throw his ass out like they did in Annihilation gets you at least a solid 1.5 points added to your score movie! The only thing I could kinda bitch about and this is the most pathetic thing to bitch about so tune me out creators of this film who read the reviews, but the selection of arenas for the fights left just a bit to be desired. We have one courtyard for I swear 3 or 4 fights, we have the spike room (not the pit sadly), the acid room which was beautifully accurate, and the portal sans the creepy floating monks. God awful? Of course not. But even my novice ass knows you have a practical buffet of arenas to throw a fucking dart at, but other than that terribly nitpicky ass aside, pretty good movie! Fights are varied, they got no problem bodying people which could piss some people off admittedly, the kills make the first movie look pathetic in comparison in terms of gore and inventive gore at that. It moves at a good pace, the characters aren't super deep but have good motivation, the effects are really nice, they even got some neat-o cinematography in there at times which I very much appreciated, and it was actually pretty damn funny! I was surprised how many laughs I got, so well done on that front writers! It appears my hope and faith was not mislaid, and while it does kinda sequel bait the shit out of the end which I have several questions about because heeeey Mortal Kombat noob over here, I'm happy with it. So I guess I have my best of both worlds with the 1995 first movie and the 2026 second movie, and I am rather curious what the die hard fans think about it. All in all I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10, and I will see y'all next week for another new release.

In Retrospect: Mortal Kombat (2021)

I guess there's a reason this spawns from a company called MIDway.

I think my estimation has actually fallen since I saw this opening day. Like dude, I would gladly take the 90s film over this. And it took me a second to kinda articulate as to why, but the quality of this film overall is like if a Sci-Fi Channel original movie had an actual budget. This halfassed script, decent actors but not great characters, blank slate of a protagonist which makes me wonder why the fuck we even have him, the slightly off beat references that should be awesome but kinda make you roll your eyes when they happen, the effects which are passable, just everything about this leans so much into that direct to cable movie element which I have to say I've not seen in a considerably long time. Now I know, I know...it was a rough goddamn patch of time when this movie went into production and when it got released, I'm taking that into consideration and not trying to bash it too hard. Cause it's not a bad movie, this is nowhere near Annihilation but it ain't that goddamn good either folks. Best damn scene in the movie is the opening, it was investing, a notch emotional, had really good fight choreography, I loved it! I think the true nail in the coffin for this is our main character, may I ask why we just decided to add some guy who isn't a character in the games to be our focus and might I go one step further and ask why did you make him the most uninteresting nothing character? Poor Lewis Tan had exactly two things to work with, jack and shit. And jack left town. He's trying but there is nothing to this to the point where I almost feel offended for the guy, imagine you got cast in a Mortal fucking Kombat movie and you're just some...guy. Not Liu Kang, not Johnny Cage, not even Stryker! It's almost stunning how bland Cole is. Like...I gotta move on, I'm gonna be hear all fucking day. I will however say I do indeed have higher hopes for the second film, I truly do. It does look better. As long as they don't do stupid shit like in this where you drop Kung Lao in that undignified fashion, kill Goro in THE FIRST FRAKKING MOVIE HELLLLOOOOOO, and not even give us the shit sucking tournament on which this entire franchise is built upon, we'll be fine! Those are choices man, but they are not good ones! Holy fuckaroli it's like the longer I think about it the more the score dwindles. But hey, they at least didn't rush a sequel. It took them 5 years to get around to Mortal Kombat II and I will commend the filmmakers on that alone, all the time in the world to iron this script out, make the right calls, and craft a good movie. I'm not saying I'm walking in with the highest of expectation but I'm certainly walking in with hope. I however am leaving this film never to return. 1.5 stars, 4.5/10, I'll catch you tomorrow!