Hocus Pocus 2

Wishlist approved!




Alright, made it to dawn and perhaps the witching hour has passed me by unscathed so let's talk sequels! I know this had a lot of anticipation and years worth of fan craving, so how does it all stack up in my novice eyes? I think I honestly like it more than the first. So it's been 29 years (sweet Jesus) since the Sanderson sisters plagued Salem as we are introduced to our three main characters, Becca, Izzy, and Cassie who are teenage friends and are kinda duped into resurrecting the Sandersons' once more and have to deal with the problem with some very appreciative and nice twists thrown into it. Already our protoganists have a fair bit more to do, and I was kinda surprised how much they got right with modern day witchercraft cause Becca and Izzy frequent a proper magic shop so they're super familiar with the history and items of magic. The crystals, the herbs, the candles, how to charge items with magic, a great attunement to nature, I severely must applaud the movie for that! So it's pretty neat to see two covens go at it and use tricks of the trade to best one another. I feel a lot more attention is put upon Winnie in this movie, not that Sarah and Kathy are wasted they still do fine work and Kathy is still my favorite of the three, but Bette really has some acting moments and yes, several musical numbers to bask in. I quite honestly forgot that we were going to get backstory to the sisters becoming witches, and I know they couldn't have spent half the movie on it but man I genuinely wish we got more of it considering their witch mother we only briefly meet and I know how much she is revered by them in the first movie. It's one of the very few things I can complain about. They throw their hat just a teeny notch in the nostalgia tripping but thankfully it's brief and used to better know the characters. Regardless, we get Billy back and I shall now do a wee happy dance because he's the best. I feel he gets more screentime to and God bless it I wouldn't mind for a second if it was just Billy and the magic shop owner Gilbert trying to deal with the ladies for almost 2 hours. The production is very good, when I watched the trailer I was just like man this looks good! The fog filled streets at night, the quiet forest while the moon is shining bright, the Halloween festival full of light, I dare say it's pretty tight. Obviously the effects for the magic have improved and yes the book weirds me out a fair bit still, so well done on that. And okay, this is just my nerd ass going on a tangent but I seriously got some Star Wars sequels flashbacks here. When the witches come back it's all super dark with light strobes and eerie sound design and I was like.....Palpatine have they somehow ressurected you again? Winnie flat out does the super mega ultra lightning shoot into the sky and random lightning strikes all over Salem like on Exegol. They even do the friggin' lightsaber flies straight to Rey instead of Kylo, except it's Book! I love that stuff man. Anywho! The comedy still worked for me but I will say it didn't make me laugh as hard or frequent as the first. But the entertainment factor is still very good and I am happy I watched it, as a heavy casual viewer of this newly crowned series I enjoyed it and would watch it again with family or friends during the season. 3.5 stars, 7.5/10, and now I just have the urge to listen to The Witch's Ghost by The Hex Girls, oh bollocks the magic is still on me!! FRICK! Well hell if the cosmos want me to be a magical man, then I shall be a magic Dude. See you in October.

Hocus Pocus

Yeah, it took a minute didn't it?



I would like to go formally on record and say I was never a fan of Hocus Pocus, not to say I hated it and perhaps was a bit harsh on it as I got older when in actuality I'm pretty sure the last time I saw this movie I wasn't even a teenager yet, so clearly I was not one of the many who are like, aw man it ain't October until I watch Hocus Pocus. It just wasn't that big in my life and really, hand over my heart, I haven't had a traditional viewing of any movie or show during Halloween time until well in my 20s. So watching it with mostly new eyes again, how was it? I liked it, I think it's a fun little premise, no shock the witches are the best part (but not my favorite part), I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did and the rose tinted glasses would fly off and it would be very dated and average at best, but it was good! Main characters are a bit ehhh, with Max and his young sister Dani who just moved to Salem during October as they try to get acclimated to new surroundings, they soon meet up with Max's crush Allison who kinda kickstarts this whole ressurection of 3 witches famous in the town, even though yes Max was a blockhead and lit up a magic candle. Whoops. And shazam! 3 witch sisters, Winnie, Sarah, and Mary arise to devour children's souls and let the good times roll. For a movie set in 1993 it isn't terribly dated and almost has a timeless look to it which no doubt helps in the sustaining of this movie's lifeforce for the past almost two decades. So...yeah, let's just talk about the witches. I barely know where to start. I don't think I had a favorite when I was young and I knooow Sarah Jessica Parker being all boy crazy as usual, yeah yeah I'm not that transparent, but friggin' Kathy Najimy cracks me the hell up in this movie! I don't know what it is but that woman had me guffawing and cackling throughout, but that is no admonsishing statement for Bette and Sarah. The sheer enjoyment and relish seeps from the screen every second they are on screen, they are having the times of their lives, and they are super funny and entertaining to behold! I know for a fact if we didn't have these three lady women in these parts, no way would this movie be so fondly remembered. Performances for those witches, 12/10! Easy! Kinda shocked me how this movie is a teeny touch dark, I mean you literally see the witches hanged but not in a gruesome manner, constant and blatant exclamations of hell and Satan, that book euughhh....heebie jeebies! That book freaks me out more than the Necronomicon from Evil Dead, still disgustingly bound in human flesh with gnarly stitch work, I think it's the eye man. That eye is a real eye, you cannot prove me otherwise, it looks so real. Props to them on the effects work in general truth be told! And I gotta say even for a Disney movie they made the appearance of a talking cat work pretty well in terms of the story, credit where credit is due. Best part, drumroll please, my guy Doug Jones as Billy. Always was my favorite part of the movie, still is, the man was robbed of precious screentime in my opinion, I love him. I'll admit, when the idea popped into my head we could see Billy again in Hocus Pocus 2 I flipped the hell out, I lost my shit, make it happen! That's my one wishlist hope for that movie, do not screw with my emotions damn it! You may be wondering, well what about our human characters? They're adequate. No fault of course by the actors, in fact I felt Thora Birch was the best of that trio they just don't got much to play with so they're just kinda ehhhh, okay. The visuals are really nice, the acting is super solid, the story is neat, the effects are well done, it's good but I wouldn't deem it great and I'm on the fence in terms of "Halloween classic" but I'll lean towards Halloween staple for sure. It is kinda weird though man, a lot and I do mean a LOT of witch stuff has cropped up since I touched on The Lords Of Salem, not just in reviews either. I literally watched Haxan before this movie, songs about witches have creeped into my mind, it seems like witchcraft has seeped into my life a good bit culminating today that at the library I work at we got a new book, The Book Of Practical Witchcraft. Coincidences have passed, they're after me. I'm gonna have fever dreams tonight of enchanting serenades and potion making. Fun fact true fact before I go, the male equivalent of a witch is still called a witch and not necessarily a warlock. Big misconception. 3 stars, 7.5/10, I'll let you know if I see daybreak tomorrow!

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Man I feel like an asshole for waiting over 10 years to see this movie.

No really, Hellboy 2 is a sequel that may not surpass the original but is done just as great with tons to love and enjoy. So we pick up a few years after the first, the big red lug and Liz are a couple, Abe is still the same old Abe, and the world actually comes in contact with Hellboy. No out of focus photos, or rumors, I mean eye to eye on camera for all to see. I greatly like that the movie expands on the first mobie and does new things, like any true sequel should and the stuff they do warrants more love and attention for this movie. The fact that we get more fantasy influence in this, with elves, trolls, goblins, and even stone giants like in The Hobbit, even our main villain looks like King Thranduil, brings a lot to the table! You see more creature effects, new environments, interesting lore, I mean del Toro does it again and brings his stamp of quality on all aspects of production. Sets are well constructed and detailed, practical effects are commonplace with computer graphics used when necessary, a very good story made almost exclusively for the movie with no comic book history. The big reason I had an absolute blast with this movie is not only is the comedy more pronounced, you know with the first one it was a fairly serious story with bits of comic relief but with this one while still telling a very good story and knows when to be serious has a lot of laughs. There's a scene where Hellboy and Abe get drunk on beer and sing a love ballad, and it is utterly fantastic. It sounds ridiculous but when you watch the movie you're really gonna enjoy it. I love how they progress the characters, Hellboy is much of the same but is maintaining a relationship with Liz and gets some news before all is said and done, Abe is still the best part of both movies and I love him to death and even gets a girlfriend which is you know wonderful, Liz gets more character and time devoted to her, we even get this weird class 3 full roaming vapor in a steampunk robot suit with a german accent and you know what, I rolled with it pretty quick! I mean once you see as much as I have seen, you grow accepting of things no matter how ludicrous they are. So yeah solid sequel, fun abound for all, great quality in production and acting, and it's such a shame this movie came out one week before The Dark Knight. Yes, I'm serious. If Dark Knight was pushed back even 2 weeks, we'd probably have Hellboy 3 today. And boy howdy, is this new one going to have to impress me. Granted I'll keep an open mind but when Hellboy looks and kinda acts like that dweeby bounty hunter in Ready Player One I'm not holding high expectations. But dear lord, I've been proven wrong tons before on this show and it won't stop anytime soon so see you Friday.

Hellboy

Yeah, now we're talking.

Not gonna lie, I digged this movie even back in 2004, I was 9 years old and loved this movie and honestly it's as good as I remember it! It's a passion project by del Toro of a comic book not many people knew of but it worked and I really enjoyed it. It starts off pretty good with voiceover from John Hurt as we see some weird natzi science/occult experiment led by Rasputin of Anastasia fame, Ilsa she wolf of the SS, and a character with such a sleek design you almost don't care he's a nazi officer, being interrupted by american forces. Apparently the hotsie totsie nazis were trying to pull a Great Old One or perhaps an Eldar God from a dimension to conquer Earth, and somehow a little baby Hellboy was brought into this world, how I really don't know but whatever we got our movie now. Flash forward a good 60 years and Hellboy along with John Hurt and good ol' Doug Jones in Shape Of Water makeup once more, have themselves a defense force tasked to deal with monsters and retrieve occult items, and pretty soon Rasputin is on the move again ready to bring another Lovecraftian horror into the world so it's time to save the world again. First off, Ron Perlman is Hellboy those are some big shoes to fill, so we shall see Friday if they have. But he does it so well! He looks the part, talks the part, can kick ass and joke, pretty much perfection. John Hurt is awesome as always, and brings some heart to the movie. Doug Jones is excellent, makeup or not and can be really funny and has good brief moments that have a heavier atmosphere to it. That's what I really love about this movie, it can tell a story and have some heavy moments but it has a sense of humor and can give good comedy. It's very accesible almost to the point where I wonder why we have this fish out of water character Myers, because Hellboy and Abe Sapien aren't super weird or hard to read. I could follow everything they did and not be confused, so why do we need a newcomer to introduce everything? Besides to avoid prequel syndrome? I don't know. He's not really that integral and kinda boring, it's like one of two things I actually don't like in this movie. I also greatly love and appreciate the use of practical effects, they only use cgi if it's necessary, great makeup, excellent monster costumes, the sets are good sized and detailed, they do everything right! It's a solid, very enjoyable, awesome movie. I was genuinely surprised how well it held up over literally 15 years. Jeezus I am old. And next time we will look at the sequel that I have never seen despite my love for the first. Why? Beats me man, but I'm interested to see what's next!

The Shape Of Water

One more before the end.

I almost waited a damn month to see this movie! I set on my calendar, December 7th The Shape Of Water. Movie didn't even hit here until the 22nd. Just got out from seeing it today, so geez was the wait worth it? Actually yeah! This is a very, very good movie with it's own unique visual style set in 1962 where a cleaning woman name Elisa works at a government base where basically they bring Abe Sapien in from Hellboy (who is literally played by the same guy) and they kindle a strong bond together. What follows is a jailbreak, a power struggle over a creature's life, and the strangest and yet very heartfelt romance I've ever seen. The romance does work, believe it or not. You wouldn't think a mute woman and the creature from the black lagoon would make an endearing couple but they do. And now comes the part, where I bow down on my hands and knees and shower endless praise for Sally Hawkins. Oh my God. Now I said this about 3 years back when I watched Legendary's Godzilla, "Mother of mercy that woman is absolutely beautiful.". And now this film has cemented the fact that Sally Hawkins is one of the most gorgeous women, if not the most gorgeous woman on the planet. This film was legit made for her, if she didn't take the main lead, the movie would never have been made. And she has the most powerful performance and not even spoke a line, that takes ridiculous talent and she sells this movie down to the last detail. Doug Jones also does very well, and the creature effects look incredible. Like, I really think he is there. It's not full CGI, he is actually there. Wow. And again, not a single line spoken and yet says so much. All the supporting cast help flesh out the movie, Octavia is a wonderful supporting member and made me smile a lot, Richard Jenkins and his relationship with Elisa is a highlight of the movie, and of course we have Michael Shannon. He is a dick in this movie! Like with every major player, you get why they are the way they are, but not Michael Shannon. Still intense as ever, and just a highly unlikeable and despicable human being. So that really helps us love our protagonists better, and it goes without saying this is an emotional film. Logic left far before the movie began, there is a scene....and it is so corny. But, there's a reason to it all, it has a (somewhat) logical progression to it. Doesn't change the fact it is totally ridiculous and kinda makes you go WTF, but it is based on human emotion alone. I have to say though when it began, I was awestruck, it really hit hard and I was stunned and amazed but then it went off the deep end. This was a weird movie. And I want you to think about that for a second. In over 300 reviews, with all the weird stuff I watch and love with reckless abandon, and I say this movie is weird? Damn. But, it's still a great movie and I am so happy I finally got to watch it. It didn't disappoint, I will no doubt buy it when it hits video, and if you are in a weird part of your brain and desperately need something off the wall and bizzare, look absolutely no further. Dive in head first, and let the emotions wash over you.