King Kong (2005)

Not as long as I remembered it.

Many people question the fact is the new King Kong better than the original, and to that I say this, without a doubt. It fixes many problems with the last movie in every respect. Now some might say that's not fair, film has grown so much since the 30s and the technology available of course could do so much more. Now I don't hate the original and I'm not just saying the effects are better, oh no, everything is better. The acting, the editing, the cinematography in general, just every little issue I had with the 1933 version has been rectified. Ann goes from just a screaming woman to a more developed and enjoyable character, Carl Denham played by Jack Black is an interesting casting choice but by God he goes all in with it and really rocks in this movie, the music is terrific with individual themes for the main characters and Kong himself, the film is beautiful to look at in some places, and yes the special effects are phenomenal. Andy Serkis doing motion capture for Kong is mindblowing, the dinosaurs look terrific, the island itself seems vast and dangerous, and New York in the Great Depression really cement the visual appeal for me. I could not find much wrong with this movie mainly because it fixes many of the problems from the original. Like I said, Ann is now something more than just a screaming Fay Wray, she is an entertainer who travels to the island and when she meets Kong at first the screaming is in full force, but it's after the genius T-Rex fight that she warms up to him and you can tell she genuinely gives a damn about the big ape. Hell, my favorite scene in the entire movie is not the fight with the T-Rex but afterwards when Kong takes Ann to his home, hardly a word is said and yet you can feel so much. Film is a visual medium and that scene alone tells a story perfectly without saying or even really doing anything. I might even be so bold as to say, this is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. Now while some people question Jack Black as the director in the movie, I roll with it, he is very eccentric, harboring on obsessed to make his movie even when his crew starts dying, he just has this sort of....like, back stabbing, manipulative, sort of megalomaniac thing going on and I like that much better than Robert Armstrong as the director in the original. In terms of the natives on Skull Island, this takes it to a whole new level. Gone are the lavish costumes and almost sort of regal feel to them, now they are bloodthirsty, terrifying, and dangerous people, it doesn't feel like a racial stereotype it feels like a cannibalistic tribe! It's unbelievable! If I had to describe this film in one word I would call it, supplemental. It is not an update to King Kong like the 70s one, it takes place in the 1930s, and feels like a more elaborate and detailed version of the original. Everything has more depth and meat to it, and yes the movie clocks in at over three hours long, but I never really noticed. Man whenever I first saw this it felt like an eternity for the movie to end, and I watched Lord Of The Rings on an almost regular basis at that age but it felt just so long. But now, I get by it much easier. Just whenever I compare the original to the remake, the remake is the much better film! How many times can you say that in your lifetime? Every aspect, every detail, every action is done so well! I wish this movie had sequels like every other frickin' King Kong movie! The original had Son Of Kong, the greatest movie brawl in history King Kong Vs. Godzilla (Suck on that Civil War you hacks!) had King Kong Escapes where he fought a robotic King Kong, the 70s King Kong had the outrageous King Kong Lives, but this one couldn't?? Betrayal!!!

Well people it's speculation time, Kong Skull Island hits theaters tomorrow but here are my predictions and thoughts on it. I think it will be great. The movie looks like it's set in the late 60s, early 70s. Don't believe me? Well let's see, the girl uses a camera (a very old camera) that uses real film, not even a self respecting hipster would use that, the slightly disturbing Vietnam vibe when they drop bombs on the island out of helicopters (Oh hi Apocalypse Now! Funny seeing you here!), they use a legit projector, you know with physical slides in it, and the ever so slight image of a Nixon bobblehead!! Fraking what?! And they use the song Bad Moon Rising which was released in.....1969. I rest my case. Now people might be saying, "Dude this Kong is going to fight Godzilla from the 2014 movie, how could it be the 70s or the 60s? He'd die before the present day!" well apes, specifically gorillas can live long lives, upward to 60 years, and since Kong isn't exactly a normal ape, I'd dare say he can live to be over 100 in human years. So I'd say he can live long enough for the rematch. Which is also safe to say, he won't die at the end, hell he probably won't even leave the island. So I'm expecting lots of monster fights, good acting, an entertaining story, and the good news is the king is back.

The Battle Of The Five Armies

I must be truthful in terms of this. I once told you that I saw The Hobbit movies, and well I can honestly say I told you the truth, I might not have told all of it. I never wanted it to end, the adventures, but all things must come to an end no matter how much you try to stop it. Today was the first time I saw The Battle Of The Five Armies.

After finally claiming the mountain and the imminent death of Smaug, the dwarves and Bilbo seem to have completed their quest. But Thorin grew sick, a sickness of the mind took over him, the dragon was with the gold too long, it started to drive Thorin mad. But there were some who resisted the King under the Mountain, an army of men and elves marched toward The Lonely Mountain, trying to bargain for the riches Thorin swore they would possess. He would not part with a single coin, thus beginning the war. But all were decieved, for another army was approaching the mountain, Sauron conjured an army to gain a foothold in this world again, starting with the mountain. The battle of the five armies begun. This film does not take any time getting down to the war for the mountain. It takes maybe 25 minutes before all hell breaks loose, and save for the last fifteen or so minutes, there is nothing but fighting going on. I'd almost say this movies outdoes even Return Of The King standards of battles but with Return Of The King, we knew the stakes. It was a battle for Middle Earth, a fight for everything, but here we know the story goes on past this point so the battles lack so much punch. It's not bad, the fights are magnificent but it just lacks all the tension. You want to know how it all ends yes, and surprisingly the battles never grated and felt like there was no time to even breathe, so I was very happy about that but the film just was missing something. The best scene in the entire movie is when Saruman, Elrond, and Galadriel stormed the fortress and rescued Gandalf, that was un-flipping-believable! I would pay money just to see that again! I also noticed the story got very Shakespearian with Thorin, a king slowly being driven mad, forcing everybody away from him, bloodthirsty and not having even a second guess about killing one of his friends but luckily that subsides although we still do kinda end with tragedy and death. Actually speaking of death, I'm not quite sure what happened halfway through this movie, in almost all The Hobbit movies we got violence and quite a bit of severing body parts but the movies did a good job of hiding it or not making it too bloody but this friggin' movie has blood splurting everywhere! It's like if Peter Jackson went from Oscar winning director back to his Brain Dead days, of violent, gory, and exploitation days. You see blood just splash all over the place! I swear on my life I saw an R rating before the movie began. An R rating?? Oh I see, Tolkien was never child friendly! Maybe it was just with the extended cut. Oh yes, and free word of warning, you know how I said the extended cut of Lord Of The Rings was the only way to watch it? Well...with The Hobbit it's the exact opposite. The extended cuts add nothing to the story. In fact the extended cuts actually hurt the movie. I prefer the much shorter theatrical cuts. Just proving that longer is not always better. Do I think The Hobbit needed 3 movies to tell the story? No. Did I still enjoy the three movies for what they did? Heck yes! But I would still just stick to The Lord Of The Rings, no disrespect to The Hobbit, I greatly enjoy the movies and appreciate what they did, but Lord Of The Rings just knocked it out of the park for me. But of course, that's just my opinion. Maybe you will enjoy these three movies compared to the other three movies, you never know. Well, that about does it for Middle Earth here for The Dude, not unless I really want to talk about the 70s animated one, I do really like it but I doubt it shall come to pass. Thank you for joining me on my last adventure for the year, but don't worry, there is still much more to talk about before the month is through. Catch you all later on down the road.

An Unexpected Journey

A great start to an unforgettable adventure.

An Unexpected Journey is the first chapter to The Hobbit trillgy, a precursor to The Lord Of The Rings following Bilbo Baggins on his quest with a company of dwarves to reclaim their homeland from a great dragon. It's almost basic fantasy storytelling 101, but Tolkien made it into something so much greater in the book which I am proud to say I have read but have yet to claim The Lord Of The Rings as fellow completed readings. I was quite hesitant to learn it would be a trilogy of movies, because the book itself is a simple children's adventure book, but as first movies go I was impressed. The way Peter Jackson started this and what all he included did justice to the book, but now having greater technological use for the film warrants staggering visual effects, some so massive it would take dozens of viewings to catch everything. Middle Earth has never looked so incredible, both in familiar locations and all new ones that were yet to be discovered in the original movies. Also familiar cast members like Ian McKellen, and Hugo Weaving make returns with a whole new slew of characters, with the hero Bilbo played by Martin Freeman who I already enjoyed as an actor, but grew to love him even more after seeing him in this movie. He really nails my vision of a young Bilbo out on an adventure, he gets that persona down and interjects much humor and enjoyability in this part. All the dwarves headed by Thorin played by Richard Armitage, are great with all of them having identities and individual personas of their own, with not two feeling or even looking similar to another which does nothing but flesh out the already developed world, and you can easily pick which dwarf is your favorite. But one of the main aspects of the movie that makes it much better than what people give it credit for, is how the stories intertwine. This is not just a straight up potrayal of The Hobbit, because well Tolkien wrote The Hobbit first and intended it as a simple story for children and had no connections to his future books beyond setting and select few characters, so this movie does an incredible job laying the seeds of The Lord Of The Rings movies while still telling it's own story. The movie is different in tone as well, whereas Lord Of The Rings was an emotional fantasy epic that dealt with world changing events, The Hobbit is more or a less just a exciting adventure movie set within the world. Either way you cut it, An Unexpected Journey is a great start to a series of films that I can't wait to talk more about. Join me tomorrow as we approach The Lonely Mountain....

The Return Of The King

Well here it is, the almost 5 hour conclusion to The Lord Of The Rings!

You want an epic end to an already epic trilogy, look no further than Return Of The King. This film is all about the battles, and I'll be damned if I ever forget one. The action is phenomenal, the acting is at it's finest, the stakes have reached their peak, and boy oh boy, do you have to see the extended version to get the full experience. Cause cool stuff and very important stuff happens in the extended cut that is not in the theatrical cut, and it hurts the theatrical cut. Now you may be saying to your self, 5 hours?? My ass is going to be numb before the 4 hour mark! It really doesn't feel that long, it keeps you so interested in the journey, and the characters, and the battles that you hardly notice how long you have been seated. And a lot of people complain about how long the ending is, but you have to realize this was a huge story with a lot of loose ends that needed to be tied up so it makes sense why the ending was so long, and I cry every time at the end. Christ, I cry at all of the movies because there is heavy stuff going down and you care so much about these characters! So it wrecks you at the end of it all. So go out tomorrow, watch Star Wars read these reviews whenever you like after the fact, and enjoy these movies. I actually do have an important question to ask, but it can wait until tomorrow. See you soon!

The Two Towers

So our story continues with a fantastic sequel!

The Two Towers is a great follow up to Fellowship Of The Ring, adding more awesome characters and even better action sequences. So sadly the fellowship has split, Sam and Frodo are continuing toward Mordor and Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are tracking down the Uruk-Hai which leads them into the land of Rohan where we meet several new, but still interesting characters and they get swept up in this fight against Saruman's forces and this is where Christopher Lee really gets to shine! He is the main bad guy of this particular movie, and I love that because he is the man. There's so many great scenes in this movie, my favorite probably being besides the battle of Helms Deep, the very much exorcism like scene with King Theoden because it has just great writing, perfect music, and a battle of wills which I have always enjoyed in films. Andy Serkis playing Gollum is pretty much the reason you need to see this movie, and he got snubbed out of an Academy Award for best supporting actor because he was all CGI in the film! Everything you loved about the first Lord Of The Rings film is in this and it adds more to the world and the characters as it should, but it does it with more refined ways of filmmaking so of course the film itself is presented better than the first. I could just spout off trivia left, right, and center on these movies like how Christopher Lee actually met J.R.R. Tolkien and was one of the fountains of knowledge while filming, Viggo Mortensen actually broke his toe when he kicked a helmet so his yell was real, and how they changed several things from the book but I won't get into that cause honestly the changes that they made did not hurt the film. The extended cut gives more character development to both old and new characters, with more interesting insight into the world of Middle-Earth, and it almost clocks the movie in at about 4 hours. So have fun with that! I'll get back to you tomorrow with the last Lord Of The Rings film.

The Fellowship Of The Ring

What the hell? You're reviewing Lord Of The Rings when Star Wars is coming out this week?! I already did Star Wars, so just read my reviews on those then go see the new movie, then get back to me and read these reviews during the holidays.

So why exactly am I reviewing The Lord Of The Rings movies? Well to be perfectly honest I got so used to a new Hobbit movie every December, and the actual meaning of the movies is companionship, loyalty, and friendship, qualities found in this world especially around Christmas time. I'm actually going to review the extended cuts of these movies cause they are the only true way you can watch The Lord Of The Rings movies. Needless to say I am a huge fan of these movies, have been since 2001 and it does not take long to get you interested. Just the opening sequence hooks you, and not once does it get slow, it keeps a steady and interesting pace. It gives you plenty of time to get to know the characters and the world. It is an epic tale of a Ring Of Power that if not destroyed can plunge Middle-Earth into eternal darkness, so it is up to our heroes to destroy it before it is too late. The term perfect cast has never ever been more true than with this cast, Elijah Wood is the only Frodo Baggins ever, Ian McKellen is wise and friendly as Gandalf the Grey, Orlando Bloom is nothing to me but Legolas he just has the physique of an Elf, friggin' Christopher Lee (God bless him) is pure menace as Saruman the White, just to name a few and everybody is so perfect. New Zealand is the most fitting backdrop for Middle-Earth on this planet, and I need to visit there one day. The music by Howard Shore just...my God. The best examples of it are actually the songs with singing in Tolkien's Elvish and the Black Speech of Mordor. I would recommend watching the theatrical cut and if you loved it enough to view the extended cut, it adds to the movie in every sense of the word. Every thing they added makes the movie better to the point where, really it kind of ruins the theatrical cut because of the lack of the additional scenes. It makes the film better in my eyes, but the theatrical cut is still a great film on it's own but the extended cut is leaps and bounds better. If you think you are hardcore enough and want to jump right into the extended cut alone, you rock! You will greatly enjoy it and it will not hurt you if you have never read the books written by J.R.R Tolkien, cause I haven't read the books. Not yet anyway and I still praise the movie and can't wait to read them. Even if you know nothing about Lord Of The Rings, the film, either cuts of it will fill you in. It is a very accessible movie to non-fans which is good if you feel that you might not have the proper beforehand knowledge and might find it a bit daunting. Anyone can watch this movie so have no fear. I hope you enjoy it, and you can find the extended editions just about anywhere, probably cheaper now than they were when first released and the best part is it includes both cuts of the movie and not just the extended cuts. So tune in tomorrow where we continue the trilogy.