Aquaman And The Lost Kingdom

Last new movie, how was it?

Decent. It's no masterfully written film but if you dig comic stuff, DC stuff, Aquaman in general, or just Jason Momoa it's a competently made entertaining watch. So we flash forward a brief while since Arthur has taken up the throne, he's a full time dad and part time king who is in the crosshairs of Black Manta's seething vendetta and trouble comes a knockin' when Manta finds an ancient cursed trident, so Arthur enlists the help of Orm to stop him. It's a very basic story with not a lot of frills or bells and whistles, it takes moments to progress the characters a notch but mostly it's a status quo movie. Not at all that it's a bad thing the movie does this, simplicity can be highly entertaining and indeed the film has solid good aspects to it, but at the end of the day it's trying to be a fun distraction and not an amazing film. I have no real qualms stating I went to see this primarily for Jason Momoa, the dude is just friggin' cool and I challenge anyone to badmouth seeing Arthur as a papa because those scenes are gold star stuff and I love his just fun, wiseass, bright energy he brings to this role. It took me by surprise we got Orm back in this and to be a good guy after the fairly irredeemable nature of his character in the last movie, but I attest that to the power of Patrick Wilson who trumps all dastardly writing because well...not to make a shameless scene of myself once again but I think I'm hopelessly in love with that man. Like seriously, I've liked him a great deal since Schumacher's Phantom but the crush is kinda real these days guys. Moving swiftly on. Yahya Abdul Mateen still brings his all to this role, granted it's undeniably one dimensional in his lust for revenge, but never once is he uninteresting or dull to watch and I give him fair dues for that! And never to shirk away from unpleasant business, Amber Heard, do I think they should have just fucking recast the bitch and moved on? Absolutely. Now my statement made in my Flash review still stands, there is characters and there is actors. They are seperate entities. You can hate an actor but still view the character as simply a character. I love Mera, I think she is one of the best comic book characters this century, the woman is so badass it frankly scares me, and it is a joy to see her in various adaptations. She's barely in this movie, I can understand your feelings if you can't disassociate enough and there is nothing wrong with that, we can't change it we simply must accept it and move along. And I'm also very happy they gave Dolph Lundgren a lot more to do this time around than previously, I am always down to see some Lundgren. I actually also rather like quite a lot of expansion on the world and mythos of the sea, you get to see a lot of different and new stuff that wasn't present before, and the visuals are still really nice! Bioluminescence for the win! We get expanded history on the kingdoms which is interesting, new creatures, new locales, I dig that. Soundtrack is also unique and neat too. Now the negative aspects are incredibly far from film breaking or even just plain dumb, but there are things that could have been written better and or just edited out. I feel the main scientist guy is crossing into sheer stereotypical, scientist who works for the bad guys but isn't a bad guy himself, and just plain superflous territory. Whoever the living shit made these stupid location title cards, Jerry on the 3rd floor who wanted to contribute to the movie somehow, God fuck almighty you want to talk about waste? The less than in depth writing of Black Manta which I know could have been better but it's overall serviceable to the plot. It's just small things that could have been done better and chips away at the final score a good bit, but this is not a bad sit and you can enjoy parts of it. I know some people are looking at this movie and saying what's the goddamn point when the DCEU is effectively done and over lasting 10 years since Man Of Steel? And while I fully and passionately agree that this series of films had a ton of bullshit interference from the studios, more so later on near the end, to say it was all worthless and "a decade of nothing" as one unproductive member of society said it could not be farther from the truth. I really liked Man Of Steel, Wonder Woman was great, Shazam was fun and fancy free, Birds Of Prey I actually rather enjoyed, The Suicide Squad was class, Blue Beetle had surprising amounts of heart, and even the ones I wouldn't consider the greatest of the lot still held entertainment and interest for me. Am I biased towards DC over Marvel? Yeah, but I'm also wise enough to know every movie has it's problems objectively but it's your perspective that matters whether you like something or not. I can't truthfully speak on what will come for DC and whether I shall be onboard or not, but how will I know if I don't come and see? Will I see and behold a white horse and the name that sat upon it was Death, or will it be a great new beginning? This chapter of history is over. Turn the page. 2 stars, 6.5/10, a passable end to a decade of actually decent flicks.

Expendables 4

There is no way in hell I'm spelling the title the same way as the poster.

Okay guys I gotta level with you, the only reason I saw this movie in theaters, or truthfully ever, is through pure spite of the last movie. Yes I still hold unbelievable hate for that movie and was hoping against hope that this one would redeem the series for me. Did it succeed? Welllll....no. Yes. Kinda. But not really. I'd take it over 3 but it only squeezed by like a notch, a gnat's wing. So story time, villain obtains detonators for nuclear weapon and wants to start World War 3 between America and Russia. Why? Because shut up I said so. Expendables get called in to sort the situation, action ensues. Fin. I never expect much in terms of story it's all about the action and spectacle, and while I can say it's handled with great economics in terms of settings and story, everything else is ehh. Acting is decent, I still say Dolph is the best part for me anyway. The action was actually okay, they brought the blood back, you get a good deal of fights throughout, and the choreography is pretty good. I know that special effects are just a tool, a means of telling a story but crikey this was harboring on PS3 graphics I mean it looked rough, some was decent but some ain't. I hate to say it but it doesn't feel much like a theatrical film, and hand over my heart it's not much of a rental either. And I was kinda giving it some points for the pre-title sequence, they have the balls to shoot a kid and kill off one of our big main characters but it very much gets hand waved away at the end and I did not like it one bit. Cause it seems to be moving forward, getting some new blood in, not afraid to kill off main characters, but it really doesn't do much in actuality. I know the point of The Expendables is a throwback to actionsploitation films of yesteryear, and I'm far from expecting cinematic revolution when seeing a new one, but you can live without this movie. I'd give it 1.5 stars, 5/10, and if I had to rank them in case this would be the last: 

1. Expendables 2, 2. The Expendables, 3. Expendables 4, 4. Expendables 3. 

I mean perhaps some people can get a bit out of it, but I wash my hands of this and am gearing up for a tiny comeback.

Johnny Mnemonic

Probably one of Keanu's least recognized films but may have played some part in him getting The Matrix role.

Set in the far distant future of 2021 the world has kinda gone to shit, with the advancements of technology and augmentation a virus has spread across the world to an epidemic state with no cure or real discernable origin, as we meet Johnny a courier of data and information for hire using his brain as a hard drive when he gets a data package a bit too much for him in more ways than one, leading to it being a race to extract the data before his head completely blows a fuse. For a movie made in 1995 it called a few things right and crafts an interesting world that arguably could be said has further stories set in it, cause it's not too futuristic and cyberpunk. The cityscape is normal, nothing is presented as far out and highly futuristic, people just so happen to have cybernetic body parts. It truthfully really reminded me of Ghost In The Shell in terms of setting and tech, they even flat out have a line about the ghost in the machine, so the movie wears it's influence on it's sleeve and tells a competent story. Clocking in just over 90 minutes, it moves at a very good pace and doesn't overstimulate you with technobabble and a complex story but neither does it hold your hand throughout, sure some aspects of the plot are forced if not at warp factor 1 like the romance but it's a decent flick. Keanu is okay, I think this was still him trying to find his groove and honestly the best part is when he goes on this completely uncalled for and hilarious tirade near the end, but hey I'm not expecting groundbreaking acting in a 90s sci-fi film. Dina Meyer plays Jane, a lady who takes on the position of bodyguard for Johnny for a hefty sum, and I will say she is the better of our two leads but some deliveries are kinda off. I attribute that partly due to script, tone, and direction in equal parts. Dolph Lundgren looks like he's having some fun as this religious nutcase hitman, so that was fun! Ice-T I'm kinda wondering why he's in this but he ain't terrible, just oddly casted. The only thing the director had under his belt beforehand was one episode of Tales Of The Crypt, but in terms of cinematography, editing, and effects (though the effects are gloriously 90s when it comes to cyberspace) it looks pretty good. There's some atmosphere, dingy lived in sets, neat props, gnarly practical gore effects, and a few explosions. It's not bad! To be completely on the level though the only reason I knew of this movie to begin with was Spoony's review of the PC game, the premise sounded interesting so I figured why not spotlight a lesser known film of Keanu's career. It's not a great film but far from terrible, I think I could only solely recommend it for people who just want to see the futuristic tech bits, seeing Keanu in a movie before The Matrix but after Bill & Ted, and wonder why in the hell aren't we surfing the world wide web in the most overcomplicated yet bitchin' way possible? 2.5 stars, 6/10, and we're hitting the mainstream next time.

In Retrospect: Creed II

I know some people consider this to be Rocky IV: Part Deux, but there's more to it than that.

If I'm being real honest I didn't ever expect them to pull out the Drago card this early, if anything between the release of Creed and before the trailers started coming out for Creed II, I figured the resolution of that 30 odd year conflict would be like the finale to the Creed series. Cause it really feels resolved but I feel not really in the way many people would think. This movie focuses almost exclusively on the drama aspect, these character's baggage, why exactly they want this fight to happen and I greatly appreciate the shift between the solution of these movies. Before the solution to Ivan Drago was to beat him down for the death of Apollo in an almost vendetta story, to defeat this massive oppresive Russian menace to our American boxing sport. But nowadays, it's just more complicated and I can truthfully see 2 points audience members can take from this: 1. This movie does not give clean cut reasons and explanations for why Adonis wants to fight Viktor Drago because I don't think even he has a full grasp on the answer. People love to have easy, clean, black and white reasons for things both in life and cinema and this movie doesn't give a lot of that. 2. There's no climactic TKO, the one punch that floors Viktor for the 10 count, it's through the history and actions of Ivan Drago that make him stop the fight. I can honestly see some audiences feel completely ripped off for not having a decisive winner. However! The movie goes out of it's way to add humanity, a little pathos, and the simple fact that anger and vengeance does not grant you victory through the father and son relationship of Ivan and Viktor. Rocky brings up that point with Adonis, that you can't let rage and revenge fester inside you and if you want to fight you need to have a real reason. Cause a lot happens for Adonis in this movie that progresses his character and defining of why he fights, he marries Bianca, they have a daughter, he moves to L.A., and he becomes the heavyweight champion of the world. That's a lot of life changing events in a relatively short span of time, and it by shittin' hell makes you think and act different in life. Rocky seems to be more on the mend and not as sick but you can tell a lot of pain, a lot of regret, and a lot of fear is on his conscience. Cause he got a bit of closure with Drago but he still lost his friend and it shows, to where he steps away from training Adonis. This movie just works so well with the emotional aspect of this story and these characters, I almost wouldn't call it a sports movie despite there being training and matches, it's not really the focus here. In some aspects I think this movie is greater than the first, the writing is great, the acting gets pushed further, and you get invested real quick because of it. Yet on the other hand, despite it being well shot it's not as well directed as the first, I actually forgot Ryan Coogler was shooting Black Panther at the time, the soundtrack was good but not as strong as the first, but those are truthfully small potatos because it still had it's moments to shine in it's own respect. It ain't bad, I'd be lying straight out of my ass if I said it was bad or even just okay. A very strong continuation and a great movie regardless. 4 stars from me, 8/10! Although I did have this slightly horrifying thought come to mind of, what if Creed III went the way of Rocky III and it just started to go a bit off the rails and get ridiculous? Cause there is a clear and distinct divide between the styles of the first two Rocky movies and Rocky III and IV, I love them all do not get me wrong, but that would be a twist wouldn't it? I highly doubt they would go that way but only time will tell come Friday.

Creed II

You know man I was feeling really bummed out today. Getting to this movie so late made me not even want to get out of bed today, I just wanted to give up and move on. Now, I remember why I do this.

Creed II tops the first easily. It is a powerhouse of a movie, there's no need for setup of the threat to the fight because it's already there in the history of the Rocky series. There's a lot to love, and I know for a fact these Creed movies and really the Rocky movies past number two are made for Rocky fans. Not just for the callbacks or similar stories but because of the growth of these characters and seeing where they go since the last movie. So Adonis Creed just got the Heavyweight Champion belt, and through the workings of a semi-shady backer pits the son of Ivan Drago against the son of Apollo Creed forcing our young champion to come to face with why he wants to fight and more importantly why he wants to win. I think I severely messed up if I ever labelled any Rocky movie as a sports movie, sure the fight is the driving force for our main character but the characters themselves is why it works so well. We know their motivations, history, and emotions, which is what keeps us invested and cheering for them. The movie understands this perfectly and it feels right in the series. Now Rocky IV was a bit out there I'll grant you that, but it's amazing how much they pulled off this story despite the 80s influence. Adonis follows in his father's footsteps, he has his strongheaded attitude, the compulsory urge to prove he's worthy of that belt, the pride in his family name is what keeps him going. And you can feel what Rocky is going through cause he doesn't want to lose this kid like he did his dad, so it builds up so much from the previous films. It does make me wonder how they can cap this off, cause with the Rocky movies every movie raised the stakes a bit higher. The first movie Rocky just wants to go the distance and prove his mettle, second movie Apollo lets his pride get the better of him and fights Rocky for the championship, then the threat is escalated by a tough loud mouthed son of a mother Clubber Lang who challenges for the title, then Jesus Christ Rocky has to go up against the russian superman an almost impossible task that pushes him to the limit. So every movie builds on the characters, and the stakes, and I'm gonna say it right now I do not know how they are going to top Viktor Drago. The dude is a mountain, and the fact we get further character interactions between previous combatants with Ivan and Rocky brings so much to the table. Now I get to fanboy the hell out over my man, Dolph Lundgren. Sweet Christmas is it wonderful seeing him again and they do so much good development for him, and he still has that intimidation and power from the last movie. And truthfully if I went to Philadelphia, ran up the art museum steps, and ffffflipin' Dolph Lundgren was at the top of those stairs I would not be able to count the bricks I would shat. You just never see that, and it is awesome! The whole movie is awesome, go see it! Without a doubt one of my top 10 films of the year. I seriously cannot wait for Creed III, I am ready for that next story and challenge.

Rocky IV

And this is where the crazy over the top scale breaks. Now it gets awesomely ridiculous.

Rocky IV is a fantastic movie, and I am serious. It gets so crazy and relishes in the 80's cheesiness it becomes something extrodinary. This movie takes place a little while after Rocky III, Rocky and Apollo have become real great friends, Rocky's son has grown up quite a bit, and Rocky and Adrian celebrate their ninth anniversary together. Things have been going pretty well for everybody, until the Russians invade. Well technically it's a Russian boxer, Ivan Drago played by Dolph Lundgren who I got to admit is downplayed majorly from something like his Expendables performance in retrospect. He's pretty much an almost silent monster. He has like six damn lines in the whole movie! They used him for just his physical stature and really he is so much more than that. Dude is super smart and even a bit charismatic but here he is a friggin' walking tank. But hey he does a real good job at setting the bar higher than it ever has been before or since in the Rocky series. But let's continue with the plot. Apollo flips his lid and goes after Drago guns blazing and loses. Badly. So Rocky has to take the fight to the Russians, literally. He travels and trains in Russia. And yes, Rocky ended the Cold War. The absurdly awesome moments don't take long to set in, it takes about 5 minutes before your jaw hits the floor in disbelief. I won't dare ruin the surprise but it does not stop there. I love this movie, and what I noticed while watching it again is there are a bunch of montages in this movie set to blazing 80's music that makes you want to rock out to, and it has to be at least 30% of the movie and Vince DiCola's score is glorious. I know the original soundtrack in the first movie is the greatest but dear lord this comes so close! Some people call this a guilty pleasure movie, and I don't see it as that. I greatly enjoy this movie every time I watch it, and it really never gets old. And just like the last movie it keeps raising the stakes and changes the world in which these characters live in. So yes, it is an important and very ludicrous entry in the series and must really be seen to be believed.

The Expendables 2

Re-watching this again, I have to say it's leaps and bounds better than the first.



I'm serious, everything that was good in the first Expendables is even better in the second one. The dialogue is better and is even funnier than the first, we get to know the characters better and even see some new additions to the team, the action is just all around better and that is very evident from the very first action scene, cause in the first movie it was really just a standoff for some hostages but in the second one it's a straight up rescue mission and it is so much bigger and more flashy and exciting. So the story of The Expendables 2 is that Bruce Willis contacts Sylvester Stallone and company to retrieve a mysterious object from a shot down plane in Albania, the team soon gathers together including their two new members of the team played by Liam Hemsworth and Nan Yu to retrieve secret data and return it back to the U.S. government before it falls into the wrong hands. But our heroes soon come face to face with the villain of the movie, whose name is Vilain....I am so not kidding it's only one letter away from spelling villain played by Guile himself from Street Fighter The Movie, Jean-Claude Van Damme who I got to say is an interesting choice for the villain of this movie and I'm not sure why but he's just a joy to watch. And just like in Street Fighter I can barely understand what he is saying, like I understand Christian Bale's Batman better than this guy. His accent is what does it, it sounds ger-russian-nese but it's still pretty cool to see him in the movie. So the chase is on to stop Vilain from using the secret data to cause chaos in the world. I think the reason why I enjoy this movie better than the first is because of the better dialogue and the new characters we get to see in action, even though the dialogue is very tongue and cheek sometimes, like there's this scene where Arnold Schwarzenegger tells Terry Crews to give him his gun and Terry Crews says, "If I don't get this back your ass is terminated." and it's dialogue like that which makes he movie a bit more fun, but we don't only get to see Arnold throw down and shoot em' up, we even get the most badass dude in existence to help out our heroes, Chuck Norris. And yeah he kicks the most ass in this movie, he's one handing this big machine gun tearing through guys left and right, he takes out a friggin' tank and he even says one of the Chuck Norris facts about how a king cobra bit him and after 5 days of pain the cobra died. Best part of the movie but another fantastic part of the movie is Dolph Lundgren and he is my favorite character in the entire film, cause he is super smart like he can make a bomb out of just a few ingredients, and he keeps hitting on the girl who tags along on the mission with him, he's totally awesome. So yeah, this movie was a hell of a lot better than the first, and I think the best part of The Expendables movies are the continuity is loose, like it's not necessary to watch the first movie to get the second movie so you can just skip the first movie and go straight for the second movie. This is The Expendables movie you have to see if you want to watch the franchise, so I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did, and I will see you guys and gals tomorrow when we wrap up the trilogy.

The Expendables

What better way to start the month of July and build up to our Independence Day than to review a trilogy of hardcore action movies starring the biggest names of the action hero genre?



So The expendables is a true love letter to action films both old and new, starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren among many others as mercenaries hired by the U.S. government to take out a dictator. This plot could not get any more action hero if it tried. But it's a damn good movie with a lot of it's own merits, mainly the acting, the characters, and of course the action scenes. Now let's be honest here, this is not a great film as far as action movies go but it's a cut above the rest only because of the stars of the movie. If you have ever seen an action film from the 1980's onward, chances are you know who these people are and what their reputation is in the film industry. And even I have to admit it's pretty friggin' cool to see all these action movie stars kick some ass even if some of them are getting up there in the years, they still got it! And it is built entirely around the characters, their actions, their personalities, their past, all of it only contributes to the movie, and it shows they are not a perfect team, they bicker, they fight each other, but in the end they are still a team and give a damn about each other. And you really get the sense of that which makes them even more enjoyable. The acting is good, the directing shows you exactly what you need to see, the dialogue between the characters is really the best part of the movie in my humble opinion but the action is well choreographed and they are not afraid to show blood and violence, the characters are interesting enough so you don't just write them off as typical action movie heroes, the music for lack of a better word has that honky-tonk rock tone to it and it's pretty cool, the plot is pretty basic but you really can't be expecting Shakespeare in an action movie called The Expendables. Yeah it is just kind of a dumb action guy flick but it does have more to it than what you expect and I'm sure you will find it very enjoyable and interesting to watch nevertheless, especially if you are a big fan of action movies and action movie stars both old and new. I quite enjoyed The Expendables, and I hope you do too.



Tune in tomorrow where we review the second installation of The Expendables trilogy, and I hope to God it stays a trilogy.