Friday, March 8, 2019

The Happening

Ohhh my lord this was bad.

First off, if you saw this movie as like a legit, we're going to the movies and watching The Happening I am so, so sorry. If you unironically wanted to see this movie and did so I wish to apologize cause whoo boy this is a rough movie to sit through. The absolutely hilarious bad acting can only do so much and that is the only reason somebody would see this movie unless you were a person like me and actually had to talk about it. I wasted four dollars that I am never getting back on this ****ing movie. You know what? I lied. Nobody ever, would watch this movie just to see how bad it truly is or to get a laugh out of the performances. That is what YouTube is for! You can watch whatever scene you want and you have seen The Happening. I know I have to talk about this movie but I reeeeally do not want to. I mean what in God's name can you say about it? Well...besides that's it's comically bad. The plot is not bad really, just based solely on a catastrophe that affects human beings into commiting suicide is not a bad plot. If you got a better script, and better input from a different director, this movie would be passable. Someone could easily remake The Happening and make it good. You do not even need to spend a cent on the effects of the antagonist! It's wind. Marky Mark has to outrun the wind because you see the plants have gotten sick of our shtick and have concocted an airborne pathogen specially for us. The logic is staggering. You could make these characters likable and have them not talk like space aliens trying desperately to fit in on Earth. You can create a better twist! You could follow the movie scene by scene, and just change names and dialogue and whabam! Decent movie. Who dropped the ball on this production? Well the easy answer is Shyamalan because he produced, directed, and wrote the damn thing but it goes deeper than that. Someone was on set that fateful day where Marky Mark utters the line, "Whaat? Nooo." and the director said cut, perfect and they did not raise concern or ask questions or do anything to fix this issue. So really the blame cannot be solely put on the director's shoulders. Everybody done goofed up! Okay? Do not watch this movie. Watch like 2 or 3 clips on YouTube, or watch the Nostalgia Critic's review and have yourself a ball. I am going to drink myself to sleep, I'll see you next week!

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