Not a bad way to start the most spectacular, wonderful, sublime time of the year.
My second review for a Charles B. Pierce film, and I gotta say I liked it a good fair bit but it was certainly not even slightly what I thought the film was going to be. I fully expected a proto-slasher film set in the early 1970s but what we get is more or less a biopic on the real life Phantom Killer crimes set in Texarkana after the end of World War 2. The production isn't that pure documentary style Charles Pierce used in The Legend Of Boggy Creek, the closest we get to that is his narration and some brief recycled footage from Boggy Creek at the tail end. So the story involves the police force of Texarkana Arkansas and a Texas Ranger trying to hunt down a serial killer that targets young couples in lovers lane locales. And the killer is not Jason Voorhees in Friday The 13th Part 2, just uncannily similar in design and strangely has that Michael Myers mask breathing down 2 years before Halloween. The movie definitely has it's roots firmly dug into Arkansas' small town and isolated homesteads scenery which works well for the movie and setting an ominous mood for the townsfolk. I found the thriller horror aspect adequately effective, I mean concept alone is scary enough but there were times in the middle of a chase with zero musical score that I did feel apprehensive and the heart quickened a notch and yes it did actually shock me with the violence a bit. Far from ultra graphic but just seeing someone get executed two shots in the back of the head or a touch of blood spraying on a wall really wowed me, you just don't expect to see that from a early 70s film, horror or not. So I appreciate that. The film tries for comedic moments and while they don't all work the film succeeds far far more than the comedy touches in Last House On The Left which were pretty much faceplantingly unnecessary from the word go, I can live without that but it doesn't negatively strike against the film. Which is interesting because two cops we follow, one almost has an Andy Griffith vibe to him while the other is a bumbling dummy much like Barney Pfeiffer, odd comparison and showing my dilapidated age but it did strike me as that. Of course we have our director also narrate and he just has such a warm, interesting, lovely voice and it would have been a treat to be in conversation with the man, but everytime he pops up I hang on every word. I believe I got a restoration copy of the film, originally it was shot on 35mm film which is pretty impressive and the movie looks damn good because of it, and it's all free on the YouTubes so check it out if you haven't already. I found it to be a simple but decent southern fried horror film, and I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10, and next time we got even more creepy masks and bloodshed to behold.
Monday, October 3, 2022
Friday, September 30, 2022
Hocus Pocus 2
Wishlist approved!
Alright, made it to dawn and perhaps the witching hour has passed me by unscathed so let's talk sequels! I know this had a lot of anticipation and years worth of fan craving, so how does it all stack up in my novice eyes? I think I honestly like it more than the first. So it's been 29 years (sweet Jesus) since the Sanderson sisters plagued Salem as we are introduced to our three main characters, Becca, Izzy, and Cassie who are teenage friends and are kinda duped into resurrecting the Sandersons' once more and have to deal with the problem with some very appreciative and nice twists thrown into it. Already our protoganists have a fair bit more to do, and I was kinda surprised how much they got right with modern day witchercraft cause Becca and Izzy frequent a proper magic shop so they're super familiar with the history and items of magic. The crystals, the herbs, the candles, how to charge items with magic, a great attunement to nature, I severely must applaud the movie for that! So it's pretty neat to see two covens go at it and use tricks of the trade to best one another. I feel a lot more attention is put upon Winnie in this movie, not that Sarah and Kathy are wasted they still do fine work and Kathy is still my favorite of the three, but Bette really has some acting moments and yes, several musical numbers to bask in. I quite honestly forgot that we were going to get backstory to the sisters becoming witches, and I know they couldn't have spent half the movie on it but man I genuinely wish we got more of it considering their witch mother we only briefly meet and I know how much she is revered by them in the first movie. It's one of the very few things I can complain about. They throw their hat just a teeny notch in the nostalgia tripping but thankfully it's brief and used to better know the characters. Regardless, we get Billy back and I shall now do a wee happy dance because he's the best. I feel he gets more screentime to and God bless it I wouldn't mind for a second if it was just Billy and the magic shop owner Gilbert trying to deal with the ladies for almost 2 hours. The production is very good, when I watched the trailer I was just like man this looks good! The fog filled streets at night, the quiet forest while the moon is shining bright, the Halloween festival full of light, I dare say it's pretty tight. Obviously the effects for the magic have improved and yes the book weirds me out a fair bit still, so well done on that. And okay, this is just my nerd ass going on a tangent but I seriously got some Star Wars sequels flashbacks here. When the witches come back it's all super dark with light strobes and eerie sound design and I was like.....Palpatine have they somehow ressurected you again? Winnie flat out does the super mega ultra lightning shoot into the sky and random lightning strikes all over Salem like on Exegol. They even do the friggin' lightsaber flies straight to Rey instead of Kylo, except it's Book! I love that stuff man. Anywho! The comedy still worked for me but I will say it didn't make me laugh as hard or frequent as the first. But the entertainment factor is still very good and I am happy I watched it, as a heavy casual viewer of this newly crowned series I enjoyed it and would watch it again with family or friends during the season. 3.5 stars, 7.5/10, and now I just have the urge to listen to The Witch's Ghost by The Hex Girls, oh bollocks the magic is still on me!! FRICK! Well hell if the cosmos want me to be a magical man, then I shall be a magic Dude. See you in October.
Alright, made it to dawn and perhaps the witching hour has passed me by unscathed so let's talk sequels! I know this had a lot of anticipation and years worth of fan craving, so how does it all stack up in my novice eyes? I think I honestly like it more than the first. So it's been 29 years (sweet Jesus) since the Sanderson sisters plagued Salem as we are introduced to our three main characters, Becca, Izzy, and Cassie who are teenage friends and are kinda duped into resurrecting the Sandersons' once more and have to deal with the problem with some very appreciative and nice twists thrown into it. Already our protoganists have a fair bit more to do, and I was kinda surprised how much they got right with modern day witchercraft cause Becca and Izzy frequent a proper magic shop so they're super familiar with the history and items of magic. The crystals, the herbs, the candles, how to charge items with magic, a great attunement to nature, I severely must applaud the movie for that! So it's pretty neat to see two covens go at it and use tricks of the trade to best one another. I feel a lot more attention is put upon Winnie in this movie, not that Sarah and Kathy are wasted they still do fine work and Kathy is still my favorite of the three, but Bette really has some acting moments and yes, several musical numbers to bask in. I quite honestly forgot that we were going to get backstory to the sisters becoming witches, and I know they couldn't have spent half the movie on it but man I genuinely wish we got more of it considering their witch mother we only briefly meet and I know how much she is revered by them in the first movie. It's one of the very few things I can complain about. They throw their hat just a teeny notch in the nostalgia tripping but thankfully it's brief and used to better know the characters. Regardless, we get Billy back and I shall now do a wee happy dance because he's the best. I feel he gets more screentime to and God bless it I wouldn't mind for a second if it was just Billy and the magic shop owner Gilbert trying to deal with the ladies for almost 2 hours. The production is very good, when I watched the trailer I was just like man this looks good! The fog filled streets at night, the quiet forest while the moon is shining bright, the Halloween festival full of light, I dare say it's pretty tight. Obviously the effects for the magic have improved and yes the book weirds me out a fair bit still, so well done on that. And okay, this is just my nerd ass going on a tangent but I seriously got some Star Wars sequels flashbacks here. When the witches come back it's all super dark with light strobes and eerie sound design and I was like.....Palpatine have they somehow ressurected you again? Winnie flat out does the super mega ultra lightning shoot into the sky and random lightning strikes all over Salem like on Exegol. They even do the friggin' lightsaber flies straight to Rey instead of Kylo, except it's Book! I love that stuff man. Anywho! The comedy still worked for me but I will say it didn't make me laugh as hard or frequent as the first. But the entertainment factor is still very good and I am happy I watched it, as a heavy casual viewer of this newly crowned series I enjoyed it and would watch it again with family or friends during the season. 3.5 stars, 7.5/10, and now I just have the urge to listen to The Witch's Ghost by The Hex Girls, oh bollocks the magic is still on me!! FRICK! Well hell if the cosmos want me to be a magical man, then I shall be a magic Dude. See you in October.
Thursday, September 29, 2022
Hocus Pocus
Yeah, it took a minute didn't it?
I would like to go formally on record and say I was never a fan of Hocus Pocus, not to say I hated it and perhaps was a bit harsh on it as I got older when in actuality I'm pretty sure the last time I saw this movie I wasn't even a teenager yet, so clearly I was not one of the many who are like, aw man it ain't October until I watch Hocus Pocus. It just wasn't that big in my life and really, hand over my heart, I haven't had a traditional viewing of any movie or show during Halloween time until well in my 20s. So watching it with mostly new eyes again, how was it? I liked it, I think it's a fun little premise, no shock the witches are the best part (but not my favorite part), I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did and the rose tinted glasses would fly off and it would be very dated and average at best, but it was good! Main characters are a bit ehhh, with Max and his young sister Dani who just moved to Salem during October as they try to get acclimated to new surroundings, they soon meet up with Max's crush Allison who kinda kickstarts this whole ressurection of 3 witches famous in the town, even though yes Max was a blockhead and lit up a magic candle. Whoops. And shazam! 3 witch sisters, Winnie, Sarah, and Mary arise to devour children's souls and let the good times roll. For a movie set in 1993 it isn't terribly dated and almost has a timeless look to it which no doubt helps in the sustaining of this movie's lifeforce for the past almost two decades. So...yeah, let's just talk about the witches. I barely know where to start. I don't think I had a favorite when I was young and I knooow Sarah Jessica Parker being all boy crazy as usual, yeah yeah I'm not that transparent, but friggin' Kathy Najimy cracks me the hell up in this movie! I don't know what it is but that woman had me guffawing and cackling throughout, but that is no admonsishing statement for Bette and Sarah. The sheer enjoyment and relish seeps from the screen every second they are on screen, they are having the times of their lives, and they are super funny and entertaining to behold! I know for a fact if we didn't have these three lady women in these parts, no way would this movie be so fondly remembered. Performances for those witches, 12/10! Easy! Kinda shocked me how this movie is a teeny touch dark, I mean you literally see the witches hanged but not in a gruesome manner, constant and blatant exclamations of hell and Satan, that book euughhh....heebie jeebies! That book freaks me out more than the Necronomicon from Evil Dead, still disgustingly bound in human flesh with gnarly stitch work, I think it's the eye man. That eye is a real eye, you cannot prove me otherwise, it looks so real. Props to them on the effects work in general truth be told! And I gotta say even for a Disney movie they made the appearance of a talking cat work pretty well in terms of the story, credit where credit is due. Best part, drumroll please, my guy Doug Jones as Billy. Always was my favorite part of the movie, still is, the man was robbed of precious screentime in my opinion, I love him. I'll admit, when the idea popped into my head we could see Billy again in Hocus Pocus 2 I flipped the hell out, I lost my shit, make it happen! That's my one wishlist hope for that movie, do not screw with my emotions damn it! You may be wondering, well what about our human characters? They're adequate. No fault of course by the actors, in fact I felt Thora Birch was the best of that trio they just don't got much to play with so they're just kinda ehhhh, okay. The visuals are really nice, the acting is super solid, the story is neat, the effects are well done, it's good but I wouldn't deem it great and I'm on the fence in terms of "Halloween classic" but I'll lean towards Halloween staple for sure. It is kinda weird though man, a lot and I do mean a LOT of witch stuff has cropped up since I touched on The Lords Of Salem, not just in reviews either. I literally watched Haxan before this movie, songs about witches have creeped into my mind, it seems like witchcraft has seeped into my life a good bit culminating today that at the library I work at we got a new book, The Book Of Practical Witchcraft. Coincidences have passed, they're after me. I'm gonna have fever dreams tonight of enchanting serenades and potion making. Fun fact true fact before I go, the male equivalent of a witch is still called a witch and not necessarily a warlock. Big misconception. 3 stars, 7.5/10, I'll let you know if I see daybreak tomorrow!
I would like to go formally on record and say I was never a fan of Hocus Pocus, not to say I hated it and perhaps was a bit harsh on it as I got older when in actuality I'm pretty sure the last time I saw this movie I wasn't even a teenager yet, so clearly I was not one of the many who are like, aw man it ain't October until I watch Hocus Pocus. It just wasn't that big in my life and really, hand over my heart, I haven't had a traditional viewing of any movie or show during Halloween time until well in my 20s. So watching it with mostly new eyes again, how was it? I liked it, I think it's a fun little premise, no shock the witches are the best part (but not my favorite part), I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did and the rose tinted glasses would fly off and it would be very dated and average at best, but it was good! Main characters are a bit ehhh, with Max and his young sister Dani who just moved to Salem during October as they try to get acclimated to new surroundings, they soon meet up with Max's crush Allison who kinda kickstarts this whole ressurection of 3 witches famous in the town, even though yes Max was a blockhead and lit up a magic candle. Whoops. And shazam! 3 witch sisters, Winnie, Sarah, and Mary arise to devour children's souls and let the good times roll. For a movie set in 1993 it isn't terribly dated and almost has a timeless look to it which no doubt helps in the sustaining of this movie's lifeforce for the past almost two decades. So...yeah, let's just talk about the witches. I barely know where to start. I don't think I had a favorite when I was young and I knooow Sarah Jessica Parker being all boy crazy as usual, yeah yeah I'm not that transparent, but friggin' Kathy Najimy cracks me the hell up in this movie! I don't know what it is but that woman had me guffawing and cackling throughout, but that is no admonsishing statement for Bette and Sarah. The sheer enjoyment and relish seeps from the screen every second they are on screen, they are having the times of their lives, and they are super funny and entertaining to behold! I know for a fact if we didn't have these three lady women in these parts, no way would this movie be so fondly remembered. Performances for those witches, 12/10! Easy! Kinda shocked me how this movie is a teeny touch dark, I mean you literally see the witches hanged but not in a gruesome manner, constant and blatant exclamations of hell and Satan, that book euughhh....heebie jeebies! That book freaks me out more than the Necronomicon from Evil Dead, still disgustingly bound in human flesh with gnarly stitch work, I think it's the eye man. That eye is a real eye, you cannot prove me otherwise, it looks so real. Props to them on the effects work in general truth be told! And I gotta say even for a Disney movie they made the appearance of a talking cat work pretty well in terms of the story, credit where credit is due. Best part, drumroll please, my guy Doug Jones as Billy. Always was my favorite part of the movie, still is, the man was robbed of precious screentime in my opinion, I love him. I'll admit, when the idea popped into my head we could see Billy again in Hocus Pocus 2 I flipped the hell out, I lost my shit, make it happen! That's my one wishlist hope for that movie, do not screw with my emotions damn it! You may be wondering, well what about our human characters? They're adequate. No fault of course by the actors, in fact I felt Thora Birch was the best of that trio they just don't got much to play with so they're just kinda ehhhh, okay. The visuals are really nice, the acting is super solid, the story is neat, the effects are well done, it's good but I wouldn't deem it great and I'm on the fence in terms of "Halloween classic" but I'll lean towards Halloween staple for sure. It is kinda weird though man, a lot and I do mean a LOT of witch stuff has cropped up since I touched on The Lords Of Salem, not just in reviews either. I literally watched Haxan before this movie, songs about witches have creeped into my mind, it seems like witchcraft has seeped into my life a good bit culminating today that at the library I work at we got a new book, The Book Of Practical Witchcraft. Coincidences have passed, they're after me. I'm gonna have fever dreams tonight of enchanting serenades and potion making. Fun fact true fact before I go, the male equivalent of a witch is still called a witch and not necessarily a warlock. Big misconception. 3 stars, 7.5/10, I'll let you know if I see daybreak tomorrow!
Wednesday, September 28, 2022
The Lords Of Salem
Uh, wow okay.
Would not fully recommend this movie to individuals who are hardcore believers in the Judeo-Christian religions, like this movie gets deep into some occult shit and it sure as hellfire does not hold back. So our story follows a radio station host Heidi who is gifted a mysterious unknown record by a group called the Lords Of Salem, and pretty damn soon after that it tailspins into a visually rich, disturbing, and plain what the f*** kind of movie as she is haunted by ghosts and demons. Speaking as someone who is not religious by any stretch, this movie still unnerved me because it starts off pretty simply, you get your spooky figures in rooms, a few nightmares, there's this apartment you shouldn't go into and then it clobbers you with freaky imagery, blood soaked effects, effectively unearthly hellish creatures, and LOTS of nudity. I'm genuinely shocked this got an R rating, you get so many full frontal shots, and not just of lady women, I was seriously wondering if this got an NC-17 but I suppose this is the most hardcore R movie I've ever seen. It takes a tiny dash of Rosemary's Baby with Heidi apparently being targeted to become the anti-virgin Mary and birthing the Antichrist, this movie could not give a shit less about your feelings and morals, and showcases the...less earth loving and spiritual Wiccans and goes straight for the jugular of Satan worshipping foul witches. Which is very true of every religion, there will always be extremes on either sides of the spectrum, you will have hateful and shrieking nuts of Christianity but also very lovely and respectful Christians too. Same for Satanism, people view it as a liberating force of the self and a critique of how the church operates on many levels, but also there are people who cannonball into the pool of demon worship, black arts, and bile fused rage against religious symbols. This film deals with the latter, which sucks because I quite like our main characters. This is gonna sound a bit weird but Heidi who is played by Sheri Moon Zombie, legit looks like Jamie Lee Curtis but the weird part is she looks like a mix of Jamie and Laurie from Rob Zombie's Halloween series. But in all seriousness, her performance is good, she doesn't have to say much and indeed some people could view it as a more subdued performance, but I found she handled just the mindf*** of the situation and troubled emotions super well. She's just a likeable girl and of course you don't want bad things to happen to her but they do and thus is the tragedy. Jeff Daniel Phillips is more a background character, the film undoubtedly focuses primarily on Sheri, but the friendship is felt between the two and I really appreciated that emotional scene when they talk to each other on the phone, I can't explain it but that really struck me and I was just like, damn that was a good emotional scene! Great to see Judy Geeson again, she fit wonderfully into this movie and has that presence about her which makes her acting all the more effective. Bruce Davison, I was rooting for that guy, as a writer investigating the occurences and has some experience with historical witches, a very affable character to have in a veryyy gloom and doom movie. Shoutout of course to my man Ken Foree, I love you my man. Shame we couldn't have him punching witches and saying motherf***er but the day will never come when I'm not happy to see him in a movie no matter the size of the role. Production wise it's very solid, actually being shot in Salem Massachusetts and it does look pretty grand with that familiar exquisite fall atmosphere. It gets artsy, it flat out has imagery of Georges Melies' A Trip To The Moon, it features Requiem not once but twice, and the shocking imagery is a combo of hits near the end. My snob side is satisfied and reeling from the horror. I don't think this scenery is going to crawl out from under my skin for a few days, it's wedged in deep man. Wild ass movie, effectively creepy and disturbing, I give it 3 stars, 7/10. And we get more witches for the week, I'm pretty sure it's no secret at this point as to what comes next but why spoil a surprise for someone? By the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes.
Would not fully recommend this movie to individuals who are hardcore believers in the Judeo-Christian religions, like this movie gets deep into some occult shit and it sure as hellfire does not hold back. So our story follows a radio station host Heidi who is gifted a mysterious unknown record by a group called the Lords Of Salem, and pretty damn soon after that it tailspins into a visually rich, disturbing, and plain what the f*** kind of movie as she is haunted by ghosts and demons. Speaking as someone who is not religious by any stretch, this movie still unnerved me because it starts off pretty simply, you get your spooky figures in rooms, a few nightmares, there's this apartment you shouldn't go into and then it clobbers you with freaky imagery, blood soaked effects, effectively unearthly hellish creatures, and LOTS of nudity. I'm genuinely shocked this got an R rating, you get so many full frontal shots, and not just of lady women, I was seriously wondering if this got an NC-17 but I suppose this is the most hardcore R movie I've ever seen. It takes a tiny dash of Rosemary's Baby with Heidi apparently being targeted to become the anti-virgin Mary and birthing the Antichrist, this movie could not give a shit less about your feelings and morals, and showcases the...less earth loving and spiritual Wiccans and goes straight for the jugular of Satan worshipping foul witches. Which is very true of every religion, there will always be extremes on either sides of the spectrum, you will have hateful and shrieking nuts of Christianity but also very lovely and respectful Christians too. Same for Satanism, people view it as a liberating force of the self and a critique of how the church operates on many levels, but also there are people who cannonball into the pool of demon worship, black arts, and bile fused rage against religious symbols. This film deals with the latter, which sucks because I quite like our main characters. This is gonna sound a bit weird but Heidi who is played by Sheri Moon Zombie, legit looks like Jamie Lee Curtis but the weird part is she looks like a mix of Jamie and Laurie from Rob Zombie's Halloween series. But in all seriousness, her performance is good, she doesn't have to say much and indeed some people could view it as a more subdued performance, but I found she handled just the mindf*** of the situation and troubled emotions super well. She's just a likeable girl and of course you don't want bad things to happen to her but they do and thus is the tragedy. Jeff Daniel Phillips is more a background character, the film undoubtedly focuses primarily on Sheri, but the friendship is felt between the two and I really appreciated that emotional scene when they talk to each other on the phone, I can't explain it but that really struck me and I was just like, damn that was a good emotional scene! Great to see Judy Geeson again, she fit wonderfully into this movie and has that presence about her which makes her acting all the more effective. Bruce Davison, I was rooting for that guy, as a writer investigating the occurences and has some experience with historical witches, a very affable character to have in a veryyy gloom and doom movie. Shoutout of course to my man Ken Foree, I love you my man. Shame we couldn't have him punching witches and saying motherf***er but the day will never come when I'm not happy to see him in a movie no matter the size of the role. Production wise it's very solid, actually being shot in Salem Massachusetts and it does look pretty grand with that familiar exquisite fall atmosphere. It gets artsy, it flat out has imagery of Georges Melies' A Trip To The Moon, it features Requiem not once but twice, and the shocking imagery is a combo of hits near the end. My snob side is satisfied and reeling from the horror. I don't think this scenery is going to crawl out from under my skin for a few days, it's wedged in deep man. Wild ass movie, effectively creepy and disturbing, I give it 3 stars, 7/10. And we get more witches for the week, I'm pretty sure it's no secret at this point as to what comes next but why spoil a surprise for someone? By the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes.
Tuesday, September 27, 2022
The Munsters
It's cute, don't be mean.
I was surprised like everybody else to hear Rob Zombie's next film would be an adaptation of The Munsters, and once I saw the trailer I was interested. I was looking forward to seeing it in theaters and was sideswiped by the Netflix and home video release instead, but I grabbed a DVD of it and so here we are on the verge of the most wonderful time of the year, and I gotta say I really liked this movie. Bizarre to see a Rob Zombie movie rated PG, but the whole movie is a bit on the weird side. The story more or less is how Herman met Lily and their eventual move to Mockingbird Lane, it's not a heavily plot centric film, it's a brightly colored, cute, fun piece of fluff movie and I adore it. In my own personal experience I've liked The Munsters a good deal, and while I undoubtedly am a much bigger fan of The Addams Family I can't disregard it by a long shot. I feel you can tell Rob Zombie does have a lot of affinity for the show, and without question gives this movie it's own flair and style. It is about as colorful if not maybe even more so than 1960s TV, containing that visual nuance that Rob Zombie has implemented in his films and music videos. The cast I felt did very well, taking mannerisms and the foundations of the characters but still making it their own and were pretty friggin' funny too. Jeff Daniel Phillips isn't trying to be Fred Gwyne who is a treasure and born to play Herman, but the guy has comedic timing and is completely believable as this character and if nothing else the man has my respect for wearing those platform shoes no matter what outfit he is wearing. Commitment. Sheri Moon Zombie is....I think this is honestly my most favorite of the parts she plays, Lily is beyond cute, funny, and charming I cannot fully express in words how much I was just head over heels for her in this. Speaking of which, the relationship between Herman and Lily is incredibly endearing and sweet, you can feel that immovable devotion to one another and it's very I guess uplifting if that's the right word. I mean it by Gawd rekindled some love in my icy black heart. Daniel Roebuck is awesome as The Count, and he had some giant shoes to fill after Al Lewis who man, I could praise that fella's devotion and love to Grampa Munster for a long whiles, and it was almost like seeing him back in the role one last time. It was my biggest reservation but the highest point of enjoyment for me, The Count is still my favorite part to this day. I actually forgot Sylvester McCoy was in this, so I lost my marbles for a brief moment getting to see my favorite classic Doctor Who flexing those honed comedy muscles throughout. I think the most underrated performance for me is Richard Brake as Dr. Wolfgang, many people are probably gonna write him off as scenery chewing over the top to the max, naw man. He is having the time of his life playing this melodramatic sophisticated doctor, and I'm just gonna say it I legit saw a bit of Vincent Price in his perfromance. I don't care, I meant what I said and said what I meant, the guy is great. Very lovely of course as always to see Cassandra Peterson even if it was just near the end, I'd recognize that voice anywhere and bless her for countless years to come. I know some people are going to really trash the production side of things, but I really honestly digged it. The colors are so rich and bold almost a neon saturated version of a Hammer film, the costumes and monster effects are quite good for a Netflix movie that probably didn't have a massive budget, the editing and cinematography are niche but fun, and the references. Whooo now! Boy howdy let me tell you! The second I saw the Universal logo from the 30s start the movie, I knew I was in for a trip. The Universal Monsters get some love here and rightfully so, all the clips and characters that pop up made the fanboy in me applaud. I know I'm gonna rattle off my mom's ear cause she really wanted to see this movie as well, so I'm just gonna be like oh yeah that's Nosferatu who was played by Max Shreck in 1922, Rob knows his audience and knows what we like. Which brings me to the point of the fact I know this movie is going to be so devisive and split down the middle for people, I think the fans of Zombie's works are gonna appreciate it and embrace the easy going, light, goofy fun atmosphere of the movie while others are just gonna unnecessarily assassinate it behind a shed and shove it in a woodchipper. Oh it's stupid, it's not funny, it has no plot, and so on and so forth. You don't make a movie that looks and proceeds like this unintentionally, it's meant to be a bright, enjoyable, silly piece of spooky goodness that you can throw on as a background movie for a Halloween party or watch with young kids and get some laughs out of. I was a grumpy bastard today but as I was making some dinner, sipping a red viscous fluid out of my skull glass, listening to some Ghost, and settled down to watch this movie I was a pretty happy camper and we're ending the night on a high note. Objectively it's maybe a 7/10, but for me I give it 4 stars, 8.5/10! And we got another Rob Zombie movie tomorrow that hint hint, nudge nudge, has some connective tissue to what other reviews come out this week. Happy nightmares everyone.
I was surprised like everybody else to hear Rob Zombie's next film would be an adaptation of The Munsters, and once I saw the trailer I was interested. I was looking forward to seeing it in theaters and was sideswiped by the Netflix and home video release instead, but I grabbed a DVD of it and so here we are on the verge of the most wonderful time of the year, and I gotta say I really liked this movie. Bizarre to see a Rob Zombie movie rated PG, but the whole movie is a bit on the weird side. The story more or less is how Herman met Lily and their eventual move to Mockingbird Lane, it's not a heavily plot centric film, it's a brightly colored, cute, fun piece of fluff movie and I adore it. In my own personal experience I've liked The Munsters a good deal, and while I undoubtedly am a much bigger fan of The Addams Family I can't disregard it by a long shot. I feel you can tell Rob Zombie does have a lot of affinity for the show, and without question gives this movie it's own flair and style. It is about as colorful if not maybe even more so than 1960s TV, containing that visual nuance that Rob Zombie has implemented in his films and music videos. The cast I felt did very well, taking mannerisms and the foundations of the characters but still making it their own and were pretty friggin' funny too. Jeff Daniel Phillips isn't trying to be Fred Gwyne who is a treasure and born to play Herman, but the guy has comedic timing and is completely believable as this character and if nothing else the man has my respect for wearing those platform shoes no matter what outfit he is wearing. Commitment. Sheri Moon Zombie is....I think this is honestly my most favorite of the parts she plays, Lily is beyond cute, funny, and charming I cannot fully express in words how much I was just head over heels for her in this. Speaking of which, the relationship between Herman and Lily is incredibly endearing and sweet, you can feel that immovable devotion to one another and it's very I guess uplifting if that's the right word. I mean it by Gawd rekindled some love in my icy black heart. Daniel Roebuck is awesome as The Count, and he had some giant shoes to fill after Al Lewis who man, I could praise that fella's devotion and love to Grampa Munster for a long whiles, and it was almost like seeing him back in the role one last time. It was my biggest reservation but the highest point of enjoyment for me, The Count is still my favorite part to this day. I actually forgot Sylvester McCoy was in this, so I lost my marbles for a brief moment getting to see my favorite classic Doctor Who flexing those honed comedy muscles throughout. I think the most underrated performance for me is Richard Brake as Dr. Wolfgang, many people are probably gonna write him off as scenery chewing over the top to the max, naw man. He is having the time of his life playing this melodramatic sophisticated doctor, and I'm just gonna say it I legit saw a bit of Vincent Price in his perfromance. I don't care, I meant what I said and said what I meant, the guy is great. Very lovely of course as always to see Cassandra Peterson even if it was just near the end, I'd recognize that voice anywhere and bless her for countless years to come. I know some people are going to really trash the production side of things, but I really honestly digged it. The colors are so rich and bold almost a neon saturated version of a Hammer film, the costumes and monster effects are quite good for a Netflix movie that probably didn't have a massive budget, the editing and cinematography are niche but fun, and the references. Whooo now! Boy howdy let me tell you! The second I saw the Universal logo from the 30s start the movie, I knew I was in for a trip. The Universal Monsters get some love here and rightfully so, all the clips and characters that pop up made the fanboy in me applaud. I know I'm gonna rattle off my mom's ear cause she really wanted to see this movie as well, so I'm just gonna be like oh yeah that's Nosferatu who was played by Max Shreck in 1922, Rob knows his audience and knows what we like. Which brings me to the point of the fact I know this movie is going to be so devisive and split down the middle for people, I think the fans of Zombie's works are gonna appreciate it and embrace the easy going, light, goofy fun atmosphere of the movie while others are just gonna unnecessarily assassinate it behind a shed and shove it in a woodchipper. Oh it's stupid, it's not funny, it has no plot, and so on and so forth. You don't make a movie that looks and proceeds like this unintentionally, it's meant to be a bright, enjoyable, silly piece of spooky goodness that you can throw on as a background movie for a Halloween party or watch with young kids and get some laughs out of. I was a grumpy bastard today but as I was making some dinner, sipping a red viscous fluid out of my skull glass, listening to some Ghost, and settled down to watch this movie I was a pretty happy camper and we're ending the night on a high note. Objectively it's maybe a 7/10, but for me I give it 4 stars, 8.5/10! And we got another Rob Zombie movie tomorrow that hint hint, nudge nudge, has some connective tissue to what other reviews come out this week. Happy nightmares everyone.
Thursday, September 22, 2022
Don't Worry Darling
Olivia you f***ing madwoman!
I am so not sure where to start. I liked it a good deal, gave me exactly what I expected and wanted, but I think this one is gonna be a short review. There just ain't much I can divulge. Okay so story time, a young housewife in the 1950s is living a trully idyllic life but as time passes cracks start forming and she seeps through them to discover not all is cocktails and sunshine. Not exactly the most groundbreaking of plots but you know what, I was invested and intrigued to end credits. I wish I did not have a headache when I walked in, not that the movie contributed to it at all, but it's hard to focus on dialogue and sown seeds when you just wish you had some ibuprofen. The movie gets bizzare and kinda unsettling fairly quick, and we get some avant garde artsy stuff and you know I'm onboard for that. Florence Pugh, God bless hun you get stuck in these situations but hot damn I'm always so proud of you at the end of the film. Totally did not know that was Harry Styles until credits, but I'm far from modern to say the least but I felt he did quite good throughout. Olivia Wilde with piercing green eyes, gingerhair, and 50s aesthetics, 10/10! Was really looking forward to Chris Pine being a bad guy, and while we have bits of this power struggle and manipulations he isn't that prevalent in it. On one hand I can see and respect why, he's almost this Bond villain where he is more heard than seen and his presence is felt looming everywhere. I appreciate that but he did really good with his physical performance that I wanted more out of it. The movie has elements of The Truman Show, A Clockwork Orange, some real world cult influence, and a healthy dose of psychological madness. And I know, I am gazing into the future as we speak and I don't like a single goddamn thing I'm seeing. Oh this movie has an agenda, it's man hating propaganda, every bullshit buzzword under the sun, feminism, SJW, "woke", ect. ect., and I'm sure the world cares so much about your opinion sweetheart. Speaking as The Dude, and I am fairly certain there was a majority of women in that theater with me, I can say this is a very good movie and you can tell Olivia Wilde had so much to get off her chest in regards to conformity, relationships of a toxic variety, freedom of choice, and how the 1950s lifestyle treated women. I am okay with this, I dig it, I gave two thumbs way way up when end credits rolled. 4 stars, 8/10, goodnight everybody!
Wednesday, September 21, 2022
When The Bough Breaks
Not as great as Acrimony but still enjoyable.
I may get into the spirit of reviewing more thriller movies like this, wow this movie got wild. Like okay, full admission, I knew about this movie and what happened in it but this a prime example of seeing is believing. I saw Brad Jones review this at a Midnight Screening and I was totally okay seeing it based off his recommendation. So the movie is about a fairly upper class couple, played by Morris Chestnut and Regina Hall, who have been desperately trying to have kids and have taken the approach of a surrogate mother to do the heavy lifting for 9 months, but uh...things go south and all Fatal Attraction. I'm just gonna say it, if I knew jack about this movie and we got to where we meet the surrogate Anna, played by Jaz Sinclair, I could tell just from her eyes that she would not be prime mama material. That's not a slam against the actress, far f***ing from it actually, she was amazing in this movie! Can I blame her for crushing hardcore on Morris Chestnut? Hell friggin' no! Ladies, gents, anon, take damn notes on this man and try your best to catch a guy like that. Holy shit, I aspire to be like Morris Chestnut in this movie! 1000% dedication to his wife, puts up with so much, wants to be a papa, aspiring businessman, impeccable fashion, the man is flawless. Ho mah gawd, bless him. I will give this guy all my money next film I see him going to be in. Regina Hall, surprisingly more of a background player in all this, it's very much centered on this power play of affection between Morris and Jaz, but she does very well and nails the emotional crux of being stuck between an unstoppable force and an immovable object. Production wise, quite good I mean for a film that doesn't entirely have a huge budget and could very easily slip into Lifetime movie of the week, knows how to make a shot look good and severe props to set designers and effects. And oh yeah, you get a horror money shot on par with any Friday The 13th movie, totally unexpected but so damn effective. I am so not for romance thrillers or whatever the high holy hell you want to call movies like this, but if it involves Taraji P. Henson or Morris Chestnut, you bet your ass I am all in. 3 stars, 7/10, another new movie tomorrow if all should go well and I am thoroughly interested in how it will go.
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