Thursday, September 29, 2022

Hocus Pocus

Yeah, it took a minute didn't it?

I would like to go formally on record and say I was never a fan of Hocus Pocus, not to say I hated it and perhaps was a bit harsh on it as I got older when in actuality I'm pretty sure the last time I saw this movie I wasn't even a teenager yet, so clearly I was not one of the many who are like, aw man it ain't October until I watch Hocus Pocus. It just wasn't that big in my life and really, hand over my heart, I haven't had a traditional viewing of any movie or show during Halloween time until well in my 20s. So watching it with mostly new eyes again, how was it? I liked it, I think it's a fun little premise, no shock the witches are the best part (but not my favorite part), I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did and the rose tinted glasses would fly off and it would be very dated and average at best, but it was good! Main characters are a bit ehhh, with Max and his young sister Dani who just moved to Salem during October as they try to get acclimated to new surroundings, they soon meet up with Max's crush Allison who kinda kickstarts this whole ressurection of 3 witches famous in the town, even though yes Max was a blockhead and lit up a magic candle. Whoops. And shazam! 3 witch sisters, Winnie, Sarah, and Mary arise to devour children's souls and let the good times roll. For a movie set in 1993 it isn't terribly dated and almost has a timeless look to it which no doubt helps in the sustaining of this movie's lifeforce for the past almost two decades. So...yeah, let's just talk about the witches. I barely know where to start. I don't think I had a favorite when I was young and I knooow Sarah Jessica Parker being all boy crazy as usual, yeah yeah I'm not that transparent, but friggin' Kathy Najimy cracks me the hell up in this movie! I don't know what it is but that woman had me guffawing and cackling throughout, but that is no admonsishing statement for Bette and Sarah. The sheer enjoyment and relish seeps from the screen every second they are on screen, they are having the times of their lives, and they are super funny and entertaining to behold! I know for a fact if we didn't have these three lady women in these parts, no way would this movie be so fondly remembered. Performances for those witches, 12/10! Easy! Kinda shocked me how this movie is a teeny touch dark, I mean you literally see the witches hanged but not in a gruesome manner, constant and blatant exclamations of hell and Satan, that book euughhh....heebie jeebies! That book freaks me out more than the Necronomicon from Evil Dead, still disgustingly bound in human flesh with gnarly stitch work, I think it's the eye man. That eye is a real eye, you cannot prove me otherwise, it looks so real. Props to them on the effects work in general truth be told! And I gotta say even for a Disney movie they made the appearance of a talking cat work pretty well in terms of the story, credit where credit is due. Best part, drumroll please, my guy Doug Jones as Billy. Always was my favorite part of the movie, still is, the man was robbed of precious screentime in my opinion, I love him. I'll admit, when the idea popped into my head we could see Billy again in Hocus Pocus 2 I flipped the hell out, I lost my shit, make it happen! That's my one wishlist hope for that movie, do not screw with my emotions damn it! You may be wondering, well what about our human characters? They're adequate. No fault of course by the actors, in fact I felt Thora Birch was the best of that trio they just don't got much to play with so they're just kinda ehhhh, okay. The visuals are really nice, the acting is super solid, the story is neat, the effects are well done, it's good but I wouldn't deem it great and I'm on the fence in terms of "Halloween classic" but I'll lean towards Halloween staple for sure. It is kinda weird though man, a lot and I do mean a LOT of witch stuff has cropped up since I touched on The Lords Of Salem, not just in reviews either. I literally watched Haxan before this movie, songs about witches have creeped into my mind, it seems like witchcraft has seeped into my life a good bit culminating today that at the library I work at we got a new book, The Book Of Practical Witchcraft. Coincidences have passed, they're after me. I'm gonna have fever dreams tonight of enchanting serenades and potion making. Fun fact true fact before I go, the male equivalent of a witch is still called a witch and not necessarily a warlock. Big misconception. 3 stars, 7.5/10, I'll let you know if I see daybreak tomorrow!

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