The Little Mermaid (2023)

Back. For a moment in time.

Sooo....I've lost count, how many subsequent years have they transferred animation to live action? Well they've been doing it since 2014 if you count Maleficent, but actually they've only gotten one out every year since 2019 but they slammed us with FOUR in that year alone so once more unto the breach! And shock twist everyone, I haven't seen The Little Mermaid since my pre-teen years and only remember these things which I shall list now. Our principle cast, the dog, four songs, we nearly got teen nudity when Ariel transforms, Ursula's design was based on Divine of Pink Flamingos fame and just drag queens in general, annnnd her dad had the biggest arc of all the characters. So mostly I'm walking into this blind, and I liked it okay. It's certainly no Cruella in my book but it sure ain't The Lion King levels of fucking useless either. It's decent, the story follows close to the original with some minor change ups, the cinematography is pretty good with no fear of using color or spectacle, the cast is solid, and I really only had two problems with the movie. The first being minor but too stupid to let slide, now I haven't seen the original in probably close to 20 years but I sure as shit don't think there was a brief rap segment in the movie. Seriously, what the hell?? Second, this isn't a detracting point at all it was just something in the back of my brain that kept poking me and saying hey this bothers me but, Ariel looks about 17 and Eric looks about 31, I have issues telling age because I'm old and kinda blind without my glasses, but it just kept striking me as odd. And yet I did like their romance, they had genuinely very cute and funny moments! Halle Bailey is uber adorable and effortlessly captures the wide eyed wonder, passion, and curiosity for the human world, I really can't say a bad thing about her even if I tried. Jonah Hauer-King is a decent lead, you can tell he has compassion and understanding which lends well to the budding romance and while they change his hypnotized state a the end and not for the better in my mind, solid. Melissa McCarthy as Ursula was a bit of a linch pin for me, cause I had no idea until fairly recently and I could see it going bad or good. She actually did quite well, got the drama queen personality, sported a Divine-esque look, and even sang well so no strikes there. Javier Bardem as King Triton, I'm always down for that man and while it is a minor part like in the animated film you still get a firm grasp on him being an overprotective father but they kinda did him dirty a notch by not showing regret immediately after he trashes Ariel's collection, it just gave him more of a dick edge. I think my favorite part of the entire movie is just how done Sebastian is with this shit chasing after this girl non-stop, it just made me laugh. I gotta say the movie sure showcased the beauty and horror of the sea, with more creatures and atmosphere than you can shake a stick at, but I do end up wondering how did they film the actors? Cause sure when it's the far away shots it's all computer, but how did they get them to float and swirl and have their hair move as if they did film underwater?? I have no idea so I guess movie magic isn't completely dead. I'm probably not gonna change anybody's mind on this movie and indeed it does feel like I'm shaking the rust off my typing fingers, but it's a decent movie. I didn't know what to expect so I expected nothing and got a movie that had moments I liked and ultimately walked out of the theater with another live action remake that didn't make me mad or sad. So victory is victory. And if nothing else this gives a redemption chance to those hack fucks who wrote such inebriated garbage dismissals of the animated movie. 3 stars, 7.5/10, and I guess more dimensional traversal next week so see you then.

Visions: Season 2

Open minds for a different view.

This was so interesting coming back to Visions, it really feels like a strong palate cleanser from the usual Star Wars material. It's even more vastly different than the first season and I didn't quite consider that possible. Comprising 9 episodes with longer runtimes averaging 20 minutes, there is so much to talk about. You'd think with such bite sized pieces of new Star Wars it would be easy to summarize but marathoning Visions is like sensory overload with so many styles and stories to contemplate. I wish I had more time to divulge in it but I can at the very least praise my favorites. First episode off the bat, Sith, you know me well Lucasfilm and how to please me. Holy hot damn this might take the cake, combining surrealism while still tethered to the physical world this episode is as much a virtual art project as well as a good story. To summarize it's almost as if you're watching color tell the story, there isn't a lot of shape and form beyond our opposing leads, so it's as close to psychedelic as Star Wars can get. Screecher's Reach was nothing but unpredictable, slightly horrific for a moment, but has an ending that only select few would call happy. I dig it man! Journey To The Dark Head is undoubtedly the most anime styled episode and I feel brings up a point highly important but rarely ever talked about in the visual mediums of this galaxy we love, and is very true to our world as well. And lastly Aau's Song, this got in just based on the cute as hell animation and very easygoing almost wholesome story, I genuinely could see a young kids show in this style similar to Rilakkuma And Kaoru. Oh my lord I loved every single animation style presented here, from 2D to 3D, from stopmotion to CG, it is nothing but a gorging session for your eyes. I saw bits of Kubo And The Two Strings, The Clone Wars, Time Squad, and Kill La Kill from certain episodes and I'm all here for it. The potential for Visions is limitless, and some of these stories beg for a continuation in some form or another like in the first season. Any animation studio can run out to this playground and have at it, any kind of story can be told, any style is accepted. It's madness but I wouldn't want it any other way because it's so awesome! What more can I honestly say? It's another great series and previous statements about the last season hold true here, if one story and animation style don't do it for you well you got 8 more to explore. It's all just top tier effort from the animation studios, to the voice actors, to just the free reign of it all. Such freedom is rare in this day and age to be perfectly honest and clear, to just go out and craft something to be presented to the whole world in a genre and universe as recognizable as this one, and there is no questions asked. Amazing. And in my opinion, it's another 10/10 for Visions, a full 4 stars, and here's to season 3 in the future. A splendid start to the day and my stars above is there so much more Star Wars to revel in today! So enjoy the day, follow your own light, and may the Force be with you.