Daphne & Velma

Well shit, that was actually really good.

I mean with the track record of live action Scooby-Doo movies, I was wary of this but at the same time I was interested to see it. A Daphne and Velma solo movie, totally original. To a fan that's something incredibly new and boy did that transfer through the entire film. It is so new and in a franchise like Scooby-Doo the bits of innovation and formula breaking are incredibly welcome. They really do fashion a whole new sort of world for these characters and make new characters. Daphne is a world trekking, intelligent girl who fully believes in the supernatural and has a penchant for aliens. Which is absolutely hilarious in some scenes! And Velma is so new yet so original, it really reminds me of the Mystery Incorporated character because she's kind of a rubbish people person and really is more of that lone wolf nerd in highschool, she's a technical genius that actually shys away from her intelligence. That's something we've never seen before. And it doesn't feel forced or a trope, you can buy that these girls would be the way they are because of their environment they live in. It's pretty great, and the movie continues being something new to the series. Daphne has just moved to California and has taken to a new highschool that borders on almost cult-y due to their love for a tech mogul who actually beta tests all his new inventions which I could argue all day due to safety of students but the visual look is something all it's own. This is the most tech savvy school in history, (not)hoverboards as a regular means of transport, drones used for cameras, interactive phones directly linked to their education placement. It's a technological wonderland which sets up the sort of out there world further pushed by the comedy. The comedy is great, I was shocked how much dialogue actually got me to laugh a touch loud, it's a joy to watch. But slowly student after student suffers from well for lack of a better word a brain drain, sending our young detectives to unravel the mystery. A weird sort of opinion I had but I swear this movie would be so at home on Netflix, like really from the credits it felt like a Netflix produced movie that possibly could even be a series. If you watch it you might catch on to what I mean, but this is seriously a movie I would have watched in highschool, enjoying a lazy fall day just watching this. And the movie is a touch ridiculous but honestly with this bizzaro world they made it didn't feel out of place, everything worked very well in this movie. Also PS. The girls are great in this and I would have no problem seeing them again in another movie or even a series, they did mighty good! And another odd note I must contribute is during just a brief brush up on the movie, it was actually compared stylistically to a movie called Ghost World yet another film I've never seen but it has my girl Scarlett so I might check it out soon. I don't know, I just absolutely loved this movie, I loved the updates and sort of a clean slate for these characters, the humor was aces for me, I liked the semi-ridiculous style they did, I just, guys this was really surprisingly good! And if I'm being embarassingly honest, I....wouldn't mind buying it. I know it's the fan deep inside me, but I digged it man, it was such a pleasant and fun surprise from a grim and skull peeling start. So trust me, I have nothing but love and respect for this film. If you got kids who really love Scooby-Doo or if you're a fan who wants something new, give this a shot. You may be surprised as I was.

Scooby-Doo Monsters Unleashed

Now that, was unexpected.

It's like....good? It's like pretty good? Maybe because they actually took the 2 year gap between movies to seriously re-evaluate the last movie. Like every massive bomb point from the last movie has been significantly approved on. I actually laughed! It was really funny! I was shocked at how much I was genuinely enjoying myself. Okay so they do the usual but with some good and fun twists, Coolsville has just opened a museum dedicated to the closed cases of Mystery Inc. housing the costumes of all the villains from the shows but a new villain has appeared ready to tear Mystery Incorporated's reputation to shreds and re-animate the costumes as living monsters sending our gang into action once more. I get the feeling after the, ahem, less than popular first movie they decided to kinda go back to the roots of the show, the gang look very much how they did in the show with modern updates, they showcase several well known villains of the series, and honestly looking back the show Mystery Incorporated took some elements from this and built upon it incredibly so. The characters have gotten better, Shaggy and Scooby actually kind of question their silly personalities and try to be more serious, Daphne actually has character this time and Sarah gets to spread her wings a bit in the part which is really quite nice, Fred, oh Fred you actually were fun and great and to be honest and I'm probably going to kick myself in the ass for this but...I kinda got a Steve from Blue's Clues vibe from him you know kinda dopey but still likable and even funny, and of course my sun, my moon, my star lit sky Velma and ohhhh my lord she somehow got even better! And we have a new character played by Seth Green who really does give it his all and the relationship between him and Velma is adorable, and leads to um...an interesting scene. I mean, damn. But uh, yeah serious major upgrade for the characters and the writing has also been given more time and effort and it genuinely works, you actually do get the feeling they were having more fun with this movie probably because it's simple, clean, and enjoyable. So yeah, kind of a complete flip from last movie but I don't lie, the movie works. Sure it has a more crass joke but honestly 90% of the humor is just the dialogue. And the visuals aren't bad either, again going for a more practical feel with CG used sparingly, even though some of the monsters are completely CG you can tell others where legitimate costumes that were enhanced slightly so again I must commend the filmmakers on that. I feel it's more just a movie for the fans, you get a healthy dose of fanservice (You stop that line of thinking right now!), it fits more the classic characters with a smidge of depth, actually good humor, fun escapades, and a mystery that would feel right at home in one of the animated movies. So yeah I had fun, and if you got kids who really like Scooby-Doo or if you're a hardcore fan like myself this isn't a bad movie to see again.

So what the hell, we'll do one more since I don't really have a new movie to see for a bit and I'm actually in a good mood and hopeful for the next one, so join me tomorrow for the newest excursion into live action filmmaking, Daphne & Velma.

Scooby-Doo (2002)

Okay this actually warrants explanation. I hadn't the faintest clue what to do this week, and as I'm living my day to day Duder life I keep seeing these damn posts from a friend of mine about this movie. And the more I thought about it the more I needed to rant about something, and in fact I've been in this mood for quite some time so let's go!

Oh God. Tis' a sad day when one has to talk about the live action Scooby-Doo movies. I gotta be honest, I ate this shit up when I was 7 years old seeing this movie in the theater and just thank your lucky stars my movie taste got better! And man did this movie age as fine as NSYNC, calling people "dog", and that weird stilted slow-mo effect that thankfully died. I have never seen a movie so dated in early 2000s (there's no better word for it) embarassment it's almost a marvel. Try and watch this movie without 1. Rolling your eyes, 2. Facepalming, 3. Drinking heavily, and PS. I've failed miserably at this game. I'm almost 1000% certain this movie was made to sell a soundtrack, and to be perfectly honest I only heard one song that was not white noise to my ears and I don't even know the name of it! Also fair warning, this might be my longest review yet due to MASSIVE retrospective viewing of the series, me, and my better ideas for the movie. So where do I truly begin? Well....how about the good stuff though brief they are. I actually gave Matthew Lillard a lot of shit for this movie but honestly looking back and giving him some real love for his voice over work recently in the series, he is a awesome Shaggy. He really does get the character down and his interactions with Scooby are easily the best part of the movie (except for that one scene that shall not be named), he's funny, gets the character incredibly well, and has the most believable and enjoyable relationship with Scooby than any other human being in the movie. I dig the use of practical sets and effects and they only really use CG if it's absolutely necessary, and I can't honestly give good grief over how Scoob looks, they adapted a 2D cartoon character who's very exaggerated and cartoony with the best CG they had at that time so they tried their best to make it work so I shall not shun the look of Scooby. However! The rest of the CGI euuuggghhh it needed more render time. Oh and that voodoo dude was absolutely great, it's like he knew what movie he was in and decided to just say whatever, and yet it's really funny and truthful at the same time, I wish we saw him more. Goodbye voodoo dude, you were a true joy in this movie! The true shining star of this whole movie from beginning to end is Linda Cardellini as Velma. Now if you'll excuse me I will shamelessly praise her for the next few longwinded sentences. Oh lord...we thank you for this actress and the outstanding potrayal of a lesser recognized and beloved character. She is glorious, she's witty and clever, she's funny and actually gives her all to this character, and oh sweet celestial beings she is ******* gorgeous!! I mean, damn Velms! Lord have mercy, someone get me a glass of ice water I'm about to overheat, mm mmm mmm. But enough about that, let's talk about the ehhhh things. Okay Mr. Screenwriter who if you look him up you will be dumbfounded as I am, I understand the changes you did for Daphne. I can even slightly appreciate it but you still done ****** it up! Okay so they get the supreme asskicking queen herself Sarah Michelle Gellar as Daphne, literally off the set of Buffy and get her to be a black belt trained Daphne who is tired of being the damsel in distress. Which I personally never got, I mean you go back to watching those shows and honestly Daphne doesn't get kidnapped that much, hell no one gets taken captive more than Shaggy and Scooby so....whoops I guess! But they ruin her character. Now let's be real here, even as a hardcore Scooby-Doo fan, there's not that much character to the gang. You have the leader, the girl next door, the brains, and the comic relief. Now granted they built on that through now literally 50 years of show (wow), but they make her this ditzy valley girl almost useless chick. She kicks a door down and beats up one guy. Move aside Ellen Ripley, Xena, Wonder Woman, there's a new sherrif in these here parts!! Good intentions but absolute garbage delivery. Fred is bland, no disrespect to the actor, he just didn't have that much going for him but I will say that little foot stamp in the woods; priceless. And now we get to the bad. Joy of joys. Story time! So we pick up on the tail end of a mystery, the gang just got another crook and the police still condone vigilante justice from sleuth detectives maybe because they were endorsed by Pamela fraking Anderson!! I am soooo not making that up, Pamela Anderson is in this movie, probably just to reassure the audience that the nails in the coffin have been properly set. She's not even playing a character, it's just Pam as Pam in a nonsensical and completely pointless cameo. Whatever. Moving on. And are you ready for some buuullshit? The gang then decide they quit. Huuuhhhh?? Wha-wha-why? There is no setup to it, they're just like, "Op I quit, peace bitch!" and you have so not even earned this you don't even get a participation trophy. So they quit for mysterious reasons that even the screenwriter couldn't solve and we flash to 3 years later. Fred has been on a book tour, Velma has been working with NASA, Daphne has been training with Ra's Al Ghul in the Himalayas or some shit, and Shag and Scoob have been well...Shag and Scoob. And they all get invited to a, let me get this straight, a theme park based on some abstract weird creepy shit that I have no idea what it is, that is run by Rowan Atkinson who is completely wasted in his part (we'll get to him later) with help from an admittedly kinda creepy and memorable right hand man, AND a luchadore wrestler.....okay. And it turns out the theme park is secretly a cult where they summon a more fake looking CG bunny from Donnie Darko who can't survive in sunlight because of the Mogwai gene in them so they possess people's bodies as like this far out new sunscreen trick, are you with me so far? Oh and they steal people's souls like Shang Tsung did I mention that? This gets complicated so fast and the payoff is so not worth it! And this is where the movie completely falls off the deep end because it is so not Scooby-Doo. Now you might be saying no shit Dude they're fighting demons, but they've done supernatural stuff before and it worked in many ways. Witch's Ghost for example, they fought the ghost of a witch with the help of my taste in women-uh, I mean Thorn and that was awesome! And I can pin it down to 2, maybe 3 big points. The threat was dangerous, and these bunny demons are so not a problem and hold no threat, they are more slapsticky and cartoonish than Scooby. Now I'm not saying comic relief can't be done, there was a Wizard Of Oz reference and them threatning to baste a giant turkey in The Witch's Ghost but here there's no menace in any respect except that tatted up dude but he doesn't really do much and the comedy is insufferable with these creatures. Second, the whole reveal is the fact that the person who wants to summon demons, take over the world, and envelop the Earth in 10,000 years of darkness, is Scrappy-Doo. Hwhat??? And guess why? Come on guess. Throw out anything. You ready? You're not but here we go. He does alllll of that to get revenge on Mystery Inc. for dumping him because he was an annoying ****. News flash! You already won 3 years before this potdream began. Mystery Inc. disbanded, they quit, they left, they were done so may I ask whyyy you're doing this?? My head hurts now. Some would call this movie a mixed bag but there's so much stupid caked on layer after layer after layer, it just fails. You get a comedic actor like Rowan Atkinson and give him nothing to do, he got one laugh out of me and that is a crime in my eyes. And do you know who they wanted to get for the part? Tim Curry! And he said no! For the reason it had Scrappy in it because he's a big fan of the series (And come on no one likes Scrappy, even Cartoon Network throws Scrappy under the eighteen wheeler.) that's why he gave it 120 beautiful percent as Ben Ravencroft, but I suspect he didn't like the script either and got out. Oh my God, I almost forgot this and you need to see it with your own eyes. Okay go to the IMDB page of this movie and click on the images tab. Not only is there essentially an appreciation volley of Linda Cardellini but the very first image is not from the movie. I dare even say what you all will think, and state it is from a porn parody because well the site name is um...what's the word? Obvious. And that is clearly not Linda in the picture soooo, yeah. That was just something I noticed and had to tell you cause that got a massive kick out of me. Wow, how did we sink this low? To me, this hurts, to others it's just another subpar/bad movie. Scooby-Doo is my favorite cartoon ever, it means the world to me, pretty much made me the person I am today, and to see it go through so many phases and most of them being good it hurts. There's material you can work with here, build on the characters, you can keep the theme park premise but drop this bullshit demon stuff cause it really does not work in any way. Keep Velma the way she is, keep Shaggy and Scooby the way they are, give Fred....anything, give Daphne more than a breaking tradition damsel trope. Keep it simple in terms of plot, and complex in terms of character. I can always love you Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated. But this movie.....they betray me, they didn't keep their promise. They trick me, and, I don't care anymore. And we might as well do the second movie tomorrow cause I'm not talking about this series ever again for God's sake what the fu-

Bleeding Steel

I can't even say the title with a straight face.

Oh. My. God. This film....oh boy this film. I got nothing. This one of the most outrageous movies I have ever seen, and I loved it. Imagine if you will a really cheesy, batshit insane, full on future cop action movie that though it was made in 2017 would feel right at home in the 80s just with a budget and today's effects. I'm not even sure I can realy the plot but I will try. So Jackie Chan plays a future cop in the futuristic year of 2020, where technology has advanced to the point where a doctor has created practically a Iron Man heart, literally a robo-heart valves and all and Jackie is tasked to protect him from this Darth Malak looking dude and fails quite badly due to his cyber warriors. Oh God I can't breathe! So he has like this militia of guys in these suits that look like if you mixed real state of the art combat gear with the main character in Tron Evolution, and this lady who I swear is a mix of Eva Green and Cate Blanchette in Thor Ragnarok and is literally credited only as The Woman In Black because she wears this leather S&M-esque like clothes with a cape and it is glorious. But you know stuff goes down, 13 years pass, and Jackie has been watching over a girl that has the interest of literally every person on the street including our villains, like I swear this poor girl cannot catch a break, she is harassed by every dick on the street and then gets chased by said Woman In Black, and she meets this....guy, just this guy who is trying so hard to be a badass cool guy, and it, it doesn't work. At all. But he's really damn funny. And they fight robo-dudes and shit, and fight to save the day. I just, guys, this movie is bonkers. I mean it is really out there and it is quite possibly the most entertaining movie I will watch this year. I have never had so much unadultered pure fun like this movie. I'm not even sure it's to that so bad it's good point, it's just in it's own league. Oh sweet merciful Christ you need to watch this movie. Like you need to get a group of friends, order some pizza, have some drinks, and watch this movie. You will have the time of your life. I was expecting a fun popcorn flick and I got something infinitely better. I rented this from Redbox and it gave me the option to buy it and....I kinda want to. I would give this movie on a pure subjective view a 7 or maybe even 8/10, this movie is genius. Objectively, it's like a 6 or a 5 but honestly who even cares. Do you go into a movie called BLEEDING STEEL if you want a truly good worthwhile movie to add to the list of some of the best films you've seen? Of course not, why would you even do that? That would just be silly. If I saw this back then I would have unironicaly put it on my top 10 list, I have completely lost my damn mind. Fantastic movie, do not think about it and just watch it, see this is why Jackie is still my man! Nothing is topping this ever, I love you, goodnight!!

Bad Times At The El Royale

Holy shit that was a good movie!

I feel like a complete ass not seeing this earlier, Bad Times At The El Royale came out in early October of last year and I didn't hear about it. Not a trailer, or poster, maybe one little ad while scrolling through my Facebook and I kinda feel betrayed, because it was damn good! Set in the late 60s several people from different walks of life ranging from a singer on her way to Reno, a priest with a faulty memory, and a household appliance salesman all check into the El Royale, a hotel set literally on the border of California and Nevada where they all slowly learn of the hotel's less than known tendencies and everything spirals into crime, blood, and drama. And I gotta admit, it was interesting just about from the word go, the movie is actually kinda split into these vignettes that are all connected to the story and that's a storytelling format not often used, hell the last time I saw it was in Pulp Fiction so it had my attention and kept it. But the characters are what really had me invested to end credits, I mean come on we got Jeff Bridges as a priest who shares the last name of Flynn how do you expect me to say no to that? But Cynthia Erivo who plays the singer Darlene was amazing, and in fact she shares a scene with Jeff that I swear to God makes the whole movie worth watching. It's so hard to explain but they're just two very likable characters and they just sit down and talk during a stormy night and I was completely blown away by that scene. Yes, I'm a sucker for more quiet, intimate, and life discussing scenes it shows real heart and good writing. Just, ugh guys this was such a good scene! It stole the movie for me and it ends the way I wanted it which gets you 2 stars already but you add this mystery intrigue of the hotel's shady doings, and you learn about these characters, and though I have to admit this is the first thing I've ever truly seen Dakota Johnson in and trust me we'll be getting to her soon and yeah she rides a pretty screwed up line in this movie too, it didn't hinder my enjoyment. But whatever, it's damn good. It's what I like to call the Hotel Artemis Effect, a movie that you go into with no expectations but come out of incredibly happy that you saw it and will gladly see again. I'm honestly not sure if I saw this movie it would replace Hotel Artemis on my top 10 list, hell it may have even taken Solo's spot to be truthful. It....it wowed me. So yeah, two big thumbs up, 4 stars, by all means check it out!

I'm honestly not sure what to do tomorrow, I wanted to do Venom cause honestly that is a movie worth talking about more and deserves a second viewing but I also kinda want to browse the rentals and see if there's anything of note to watch. So I guess we'll know tomorrow!

In Retrospect: Halloween (2018)

Like man I have no idea now how to squeeze in all 4 Halloween movies on October 31st.

Now you might say well just dump Halloween 2 and stick to the original, this one, and Season Of The Witch and that makes sense. In terms of production, acting, and overall quality this Halloween movie runs circles around Halloween 2, no nonsense sibling justification, no drugged out Laurie who doesn't do really anything, and I gotta say the soundtrack for Halloween 2 besides the main theme sucks, this music that John Carpenter created is made for the piano and not synthisizers it sounds like absolute ass. But it had Donald Pleasance, memorable kills, a nice atmosphere, Dick Warlock is awesome, and a setting that is not usually taken in the horror genre so it has good points but come on. It's shall we say outclassed now that we have this movie, with incredibly likeable and even if they're not likeable you can understand them characters, and the production is very well done and takes advantage of various locations. They got a ready and able Laurie Strode to kick ass but has deeper character than that, and her family relationship is what really impressed me. Her daughter is estranged and distrusting of Laurie but she has a strong love and understanding in her grandaughter who really quickly comes into her own as a enjoyable and relatable girl, Andi Matichak really stole the show for me when she was on screen! But what's a Halloween movie without Michael Myers, besides being underrated and actually pretty good? And they did goooood with Michael, he may be up there in his years but the guy is still a juggernaut and still holds fear in many people's hearts. One point I severely screwed up with was the complete lack of praise for the score, like how the french toast did I forget that? The score is damn good, with John Carpenter back composing with his son and making some good tracks, hands down the best being The Shape Hunts Allyson, it has that It Follows catchy but creepy vibe to it and this is how you do synthesizers right Halloween 2! It's just hit after hit in every department, I didn't even mind the humor in this one cause it never went too far and it wasn't really there, I think I can count on one hand how many times the movie actually wanted you to laugh. And thank God they got teenagers right again! No slutty cheerleaders, or geeky dudes, just kids who are good friends with each other. That is something we need to see more of! I honestly hope they leave it be after this, cause we got our ending you know, like maybe there was a possibility for another movie but I'm happy with it being the end. If this was the last Halloween movie for 10+ years, we went out on a mighty fine note I gotta say. So come next Halloween day, you got at least one double feature to cap the day off with perfectly. Though Season Of The Witch is a chilling way to really end the night.

So tomorrow, we got a new movie and somehow I missed this in theaters so join me for Bad Times At The El Royale.

Glass

Well damn it, I wasn't expecting that.

I've never felt so jaded toward a movie. Glass was really good but it pissed me off too, this was the other end of the extreme, I was getting hyped and really liked the movie but it didn't end the way I wanted it. I know that is ridiculous, but hey man when you get jaded something had to happen to your emotions. In fact, that's a great thing! This movie got me all wound up and got some blood coursing through my veins, and it has been awhile since that last happened. It really did deliver everything I wanted, so this movie takes place I don't even think 6 months after Split. David has started a sort of homebrew crime fighting career, I mean we've seen tons of super rich heroes start out but we've never really seen a realistic no budget crime fighter so that was neat, but David soon comes into contact with Kevin and they confront and are taken to a psychiatric hospital where they along with Elijah are treated to believe their superpowers are imagined. We all know they are not so that makes the head of this hospital an absolute tool who I hate with every fibre of my body, it doesn't slow the movie down because the characters are still interesting and their interactions are a joy to see. So the movie is really good and if you asked me which is the best....maybe Split but this was the culmination of it all so it probably will win out for me. Will this movie hit the top 10 of this year? We shall see but for the first new movie of the new year, we're off to a strong start.