Twilight

This is going to be a rough week.

I tried. I really, really tried to put this off for a long time. I was hoping I could get about 10 years of reviews done before I have to do the Twilight but clearly life had different plans. I am going to be honest the movie wasn't as bad as I remembered, it's been close to 8 if not 9 years since I last saw this movie and I can really say it's the "best" of the series if I can classify it as that, it goes downhill fast after this movie but honestly the movie isn't roll in the aisle hilarious or face palming ridiculous or enraging. It's okay. It has issues here and there but truthfully it's the most tolerable movie of the lot. I don't even think I need to recall plot here, you know what this is about, Bella Swan the most pale chick from Arizona you will ever meet goes to Forks, Washington and lives her everyday average teenage life when she meets the mysterious and very mood swinging Edward Cullen and a relationship that will border on sociopathic in future films blossoms. And you know what I noticed in this movie? I think the films should have kinda done their own thing, stick kinda close to the books but ultimately do different things with it. I did read the books before I saw the movies cause I had to find out what the hell everybody was talking about, and the books are okay, they're not terrible or poorly written like a, ahem, other book series. I'm gonna be honest the relationship between Edward and Bella when they are friends is surprisingly likeable! They talk, make jokes, it's a nice beginning but gets swallowed up by this romance nonsense. If they spent practically two movies with them just being friends, kinda giving signs that they really like each other and near the end of the second movie they were a couple, I really wouldn't have much to bitch about! They work better as friends, they actually have stuff to talk about and do rather than be a couple and be the most boring thing I ever seen on the screen. And that's the big problem with Twilight, I cracked the code people! I figured it out! We need to believe the romance of these people and it happens way, way too fast. By the end of this movie Bella has totally made up her mind and is willing to sacrifice her friends and family to be a bloodsucking monster of the night and that her romance with Edward is one in a million and simply meant to be but you haven't earned that. They went on like 2 dates, she met his family, he took her to prom and that's kinda it. That is all it takes for you to love someone for all eternity as vampires?? No! Now if they treated it like a real romance and started off as friends, and they got to know each other, talk about what they like, do stuff together it could have been a much stronger romance, which is what they kinda do in the movie. In fact, if you just look at this movie as a girl meets a guy that she doesn't really get and like uncovers this mystery about him while being friends that he is in fact a vampire, and she is totally cool with that and still continues being friends with him...the movie is actually really not that bad. Hell they really play up the mystery of this town, you get told legends and get hints here and there about the truth of this guy so it really banks on the fact that you have no idea that Twilight involves vampires. So there's quite a bit that the movie does well but then it gets buried by melodrama bullshit in future movies. And there is some stuff I really like about the movie, though the movie has a very cold look and the colors seem a bit washed out, I like the locations whether indoors or outdoors in this town, the forests are very dark and misty kinda giving a classic horror movie vibe to it, I really dig the architecture of the Cullen home it's very modern and quite nice. I kinda like the casting, even in the case of Robert Pattinson yeah sure he gets a bit emo from time and the mood swings he has even gets Bella a bit aggitated but then there's scenes where he can crack a joke and it isn't painful or when he introduces Bella to his family he kinda gives this look of, okaaaay I'm gonna get Bella away from you weirdos because you're embarassing a little bit. Even though we have ever so slight warning signs like how he really likes watching Bella sleep. Mhm. He's fine. He's fine. It's fine. He's fine. This is fine. He's fine. There's no issues here. It's fine! But anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I may or may not have a crush on Alice played by Ashley Greene. Oh God, I've said too much. I may have gone too far in a few places. But uh, yeah, moving on. The rest of the Cullen family is nice, granted they don't have much to do but good actors regardless and they totally got Bella's back when shit goes down, so hey that's family for you. The vampire who takes a very unpleasant interest in Bella, James I'm not gonna lie is actually really friggin' creepy. Good job to Cam Gigandet, dude you did good. I would not feel safe just standing near this guy, so major props to the acting. Oh and the best actor to grace every movie, Billy Burke! My man. He's a joy to watch, he plays Bella's dad Charlie and though he has to put up with a lot in this series he's still kinda the best part of the movies. But my sweet Anna Kendrick nooooo!! Get out, there's still time, you are too good an actress for this series! You can do more than dumb valley girl, you were in Up In The Air! So that's kinda sad but it's nice to see her anyway. What else? The soundtrack is decent, actual score is a bit lackluster but the pop tracks aren't all terrible and it got Paramore more attention, by the way you should totally check out their albums they may be my favorite band and I am not apologizing for that. Ummmm, I think that's it. So it's not an abomination or blight upon cinematic history, it's an okay movie. It certainly could have been done better, like really from the hospital scene onwards I really started to hate Bella which frightens me more than anything that I'm gonna have to watch New Moon tomorrow. Oh Jesus, someone pray for me.

ParaNorman

It's better than I remember.

Like man, it's a crime if you have never seen this movie. ParaNorman is one of the most original, funny, and amazing films I have seen in a long time. It follows a young boy named Norman who has a gift of seeing the dead, and he enjoys it though he is ostricized by his peers and even his family, but he is soon informed of a witch's curse on the town leading to the dead rising from the grave so he has to stop it. But that isn't really the plot of the movie, nothing is as simple as I described it. It's far, far better than that. This movie is automatically outstanding due to it being stop motion, and it is flawless. Absolutely flawless. This is some of the best stop motion I have ever seen! The comedy is ridiculously good, and it relies on subtle humor with background jokes, and very nonchalant deliveries in tense situations, it's just fantastic. And what I love about this movie is, it can make me laugh so hard and make me weep like a child. This movie is heartwrenching at times, and I have no issue saying you don't have a soul if you do not feel sad in this movie. Every aspect of the movie is stellar, the animation, the voice acting is awesome (Anna Kendrick is in this movie so you know....), the story is great, it has such charm and emotion and humor. You know what, I'm gonna say it. ParaNorman is a perfect movie. I can't find one damn thing wrong with it! It is perfect. It is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen in my entire life. You gotta watch it, I am ordering you to watch this movie! Go! Enjoy it. And I'll be back October 1st.

The Accountant

Wow, I find it criminal that I put off seeing this movie for that long.

The Accountant is a great movie! So the story follows several threads, one following the FBI tracking down a criminal accountant, one following this whole company blackmail thing, and Ben Afflec as Christian Wolff as he tries to figure out this whole company conspiracy and meets Anna Kendrick along the way (Yay!!!) as they try to solve it. And Ben Afflec's character in this was really the best part, he plays an autistic character think like Rain Man meets Flashpoint Batman. Actually speaking of which, this feels strangely Batman to me. Not just because of Ben Afflec and J.K. Simmons who will play Jim Gordon later on but just the feel of it. We have an incredibly intelligent guy, who has training in several forms of combat, including lethal force (Hence the Flashpoint version of Batman), has a super tech friend who feeds him vital intel and you can tell is a close friend of his a.k.a. Oracle, actually has physical copies of multiple DC comics including Action Comics #1, and I am dead sucking ferious right now, he repeats the "Solomon Grundy born on a Monday" nursery rhyme. Several times! Plus the backdrop of Chicago, especially at night evokes The Dark Knight in terms of imagery and setting. Do you see what I mean? This is like an Elseworlds Batman story. And I friggin' love it! The action is quick and tense, the cinematography is slick, the mystery element holds up throughout the entire movie, I was constantly wondering is Christian Wolff a good guy or a bad guy, the cast is terrific and for once I didn't feel rob of an Anna Kendric performance and she is so...Anna in this, so goshdarn adorkable she just steals my heart. I highly, highly recommend you see this movie, it certainly has an interesting premise to it and I want to hear more people's thoughts on it now. But that's all for now, until next time!

Get A Job

Betrayal!!! Betrayal!! Betrayed me! This movie did not deliver Anna Kendrick as much as I expected it to. The second movie this week with a criminally low usage of Anna?? You lied to me Get A Job! They betrayed me, they didn't keep their promise, they tricked me and I don't care anymore. (Oh God I quoted The Room...)

In other news, not a bad movie really. It kinda started off as a giant middle finger to all Millenials, but at the end it got a great message out. Get A Job is a very good comedy movie following the everyday problem of finding a job. It stars Miles Teller and Anna Kendrick as a couple who constantly are on the lookout for the next job, and weird funny stuff occurs. I like how they made a movie about as simple and as mentally breaking as job searching and really make it enjoyable and humorous. Hands down best character is Bryan Cranston, oh yeah Bryan Cranston is in this movie. Bam there you go, just sold this movie. He is great in this! Makes me laugh my ass off constantly. The comedy is really good, made me laugh quite a bit so can't say it's a horrible comedy. Honestly, I was really expecting to talk a lot more about this movie, yes it did a good job telling the story, with funny characters, and a good cynical viewpoint of modern generations, but beyond that I got...nothing. Good movie, but could only really recommend it if it's a rainy day and you just don't have much else to watch at the time. I don't know, maybe you will see more in this than I did, I knew a person who said the best movie they ever saw was White Chicks, so you know, make of it what you will. I'm gonna watch Mr. Right and quench my serious Anna Kendrick jones. Have fun everybody!

Up In The Air

You know, I've been hearing about this movie for a little while. Oh, Up In The Air it's such a great movie! Up In The Air it's so celebrated and loved and enjoyed. And it's true.

Up In The Air is one of the best movies I have ever seen in my entire life. The plot follows a man whose life is lived through airports, he constantly travels around the country with the sole purpose of firing people. That is his job, to end people's jobs, nothing more. We follow him and we meet a lovely woman who he forms a quick and lovely relationship with, we also see him gain a new friend in the form of someone who is controlling a force that could end his life as he knows it. She takes the digital approach to terminating jobs instead of in person, putting his life job in jeopardy. From there many things happen, both good and bad, as in life culminating in a somber, bitter sweet ending. The main thing about this movie that I love is how it can break down the average working human being. It's very detached from emotion, and yet like at the same time embraces the center of emotion. It brings up the points of life, love, happiness, being alone, why do people react the way they do, all done in a truly amazing and beautiful way. It stars George Clooney as our main character, who is not even acting in my opinion he really is just being this character. It's unreal how great he is. Vera Farmiga is his love interest, she is wonderful as always and I love to see her in fun roles. Anna Kendrick is actually very un-Anna Kendrick, she starts off sort of uptight and for lack of a better word neurotic but halfway through the movie we get the Anna Kendrick that I know, love, and adore but sadly it doesn't last for long. The music is mellow, and very slow paced and it hit me hard near the end of this movie, this is the kind of music I want to hear while I look at a city from the window of a plane. I really must say that this movie was important for me to watch. I know if I watched this movie 2 or 3 years ago, hell even a year ago I would not look at it the way I do now. I watched it at just the right time in my life and sort of, you know, my current emotional state and my thoughts toward the world, and the people that live in it. This movie brings up the point which really only reaffirms the fact that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. This is what makes me happy, I love to talk about movies, and this movie makes the point of to follow your dreams and to do something that makes you happy. Whether it's to spend time with the people that you know and love, or to do the job that you want to do. To not settle for anything lesser. It brings up that people shouldn't be alone, you should always spend time with people that you like and enjoy being with, never be alone. Uh....Star Wars is my favorite movie of all time, nothing is really going to change that. And yet, it is not a movie that literally changed my life. This movie did. It made me look at the world I live in and the people that surround me very differently. Very few movies have made such an achievement, but what I have noticed is that they all deal with relationships, real genuine human interaction. Up In The Air is a movie about not spending your life alone, to follow your dreams, to be happy with what you are doing in your life, and to be with people you care about. Her with Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johannson was about building a meaningful and true relationship, about love in a true sense, in the most human-y human way possible. Lost In Translation, the movie I can never stop praising, and is in fact very similar to this movie, was finding a person that gives you this sort of solace in life, someone you love to be with and want to always be around, this beautiful special bond that two people can form with one another. It's these movies that change my life perspective in many ways, but mostly the way I look, treat, and talk to people. If there was any movies to take from these reviews that I do, to really sit down and watch, it would be these. Most of the time I feel very alone, but when I am with my friends and my family I grow very sort of...appreciative of life. You really can't take living for granted. We are all running clocks, we can't turn back or be put on pause, we all have our time to go. So you better make something really worth of it, so when you, like I, look back on your life you will not say these words, "It was all a waste of time. It was not worth it. It was a mistake.". Live the way you want to live, and the way I want to live is through movies. I'm The Dude, and I want to see you tomorrow.

Mr. Right

I friggin' love this movie! It's the closest thing to my movie idea that I have ever seen!

Okay so Mr. Right is a romantic comedy about a girl named Martha played by the stunning Anna Kendrick who is the epitome of an adorkable mess (Yes, adorkable.) who meets this dude who she falls in love with who is also a hitman played by Sam Rockwell who is a flipping badass. They meet, go out to dinner, throw knives at each other, shoot some people, all in all the perfect couple. Like, Anna Kendrick is just dream girlfriend to me in this movie, she is WAY too perfect. And Sam Rockwell is....Sam Rockwell, out of his mind, the most badass dancing skills ever, and fights almost identical to Spike from Cowboy Bebop and he even explains how his fighting technique is accomplished. Awesome! It may seem I'm gushing about this movie, and I am!! It's amazing, and I need to buy it and so should you! I am so biased right now, but that's the power of this movie man, it makes you love it. Just a terrific, hilarious movie that should be seen by more people even though it is rated R. I am psychotic about this movie! Watch it, love it, buy it. In no particular order.