Thursday, February 21, 2019

Godzilla: The Planet Eater

You done ****ed it up Netflix!

To squander an opportunity like this, a Godzilla trilogy made by Toho itself, and make it this boring, heavily and needlessly religious, unsatisfying, and so fundamentally not a Godzilla movie is beyond me. It honestly feels like if a Godzilla movie was mixed with The Matrix but focused 90% on the philosophy of a religion that we have no standing in. This is the entire trilogies fatal flaw. Worldbuilding is hard, creating new original religions is even harder, in fact I can't think of a singular religious organization in any movie that actually worked. So why focus so much on it in a Godzilla movie of all things? Now sure philisophical and even religious aspects have been brought to the series multiple times but it wasn't the overall theme or focus. It's just a severe case of misguided priorities. It seriously drags a promising and interesting movie to an absolute slog. I really, really did not want to review this movie after the second one. It's not an interesting movie in the slightest bit, it's the same old thing every time which is funny because a lot of people would say the Godzilla series is much of the same thing. Evil aliens, less than interesting human characters, ineffective military, and monster battles that border on ridiculously awesome. But you know what the difference is between that and this? IT DIDN'T SUCK!! It was fun, sometimes cheesy and boring, but great fun with sometimes very emotional and thoughtprovoking moments. In this I'm just counting down the minutes until it's over and try not to blow my brains out from the incessant religious talk. Now I have nothing against religion, regardless of what it is, Christianity, Judaism, Scientology, even flippin' Satanism I get. It's nice to have your core set of beliefs as the basis for something bigger than yourself, faith is something important in everybody's life whether it's a symbol, a memory, or even something as simple as a friend. This is padding. And shock of all shocks! They waste the potential of not only Mothra but King Ghidora who is without a doubt Godzilla's true nemesis. Mothra isn't seen beyond a silhouette, and Ghidorah is literally 3 infinitely long necks that spawn from a black hole that does nothing but bite Godzilla and slowly sap his energy for 20 odd minutes. No wings, no twin tails, no gravity beams, no nothing. I'm having such a crisis here because if Toho did everything, the writing, animation, and overall story I'm gonna need a long break from them. Because Netflix has had the absolute shittiest track run with bringing japanese media to their service, I mean they royally screw every series they get their hands on from Death Note to possibly this. This seems like some asshat american writing. This cannot be Toho. It's impossible. They can't have wrote this bullshit. And if they did, ohhh God please no! It's terrible, do not ever watch this series, Godzilla fan or not. This could potentially be the second raping of a beloved character by american hands. And I honestly do not want to know who was behind the story. Let me live a lie if it means my trust and love in Toho will not be tarnished. I can't guys. Next week, maybe. 2019 is going to kill me.

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