Thursday, June 21, 2018

Jurassic World

Well it was slightly better than the last movie.

Okay, so Jurassic World. It is....I don't even know. Is it bad? Not really. Is it good? Not exactly. Okay so imagine if you will Jurassic Park actually opened, it got approved, and has been a thriving buisness for years. Now imagine even further that somehow people got tired of dinosaurs, to the point where they are combining DNA of several dinosaurs to create brand new ones. This is where issues crop up. Like cloning dinosaurs wasn't a bad idea enough, but now you make far more deadly and dangerous dinosaurs by playing cocktail maker. The premise is interesting! Jurassic Park is open to the public, that is a cool idea, imagine the havoc and chaos that would ensue if we had a rerun of the first movie only now, there are over 20,000 people at the park. They do one scene. Oh think of the countless varieties of gene spliced dinosaurs, the possibilities are ridiculous! They only make one, and it supposed to be this big reveal that it's about 50% Velociraptor, even though it primarily looks like one. And the worst insult of all? People got bored of dinosaurs. Are you dead sucking ferious?? What reality? I want to know. What universe is this where the human race looks at a Triceratops like an elephant at a zoo? And the oddest thing is, it almost seems like the movie is trying to send this message. They bring up stuff like, the new owner of the park after John Hammond's death created it all over again to make the human race be humble or something like that, and feel better about their existence when they encounter creatures 75 million years old. And this kid...okay, there are two kids named Zach and Gray. Gray is a kid, excited to see dinosaurs, knows a lot about them, he is on cloud 9 at this place man, he digs this hardcore. Zach is the most stereotypical disinterested teenager it makes me want to puke. The son of a bitch sees a Mosasaurus devour a shark the size of Jaws in a single bite, and looks at pictures that his girlfriend sent to him. The whole movie Gray is running amok and enjoying the park, and Zach wants to put his dick in every girl he sees despite having a girlfriend which even he seems disinterested in. I don't know if the movie is trying to make some commentary on modern technology sort of disillusioning real life spectacle, or it causing a massive disconnect with real things. Like with Claire, she sees everything in the park as inanimate, walking through holograms of dinosaurs, thinking of the dinosaurs as attractions and not living creatures, constantly on her phone and not spending time with Zach and Gray. So it seems like that's the message of the movie but it gets lost amongst the nonsensical plot and characters. Like this guy who is hell bent using Raptors in the stead of soldiers. What?? This movie is on some kind of drugs, and it is not medicinal. It's a hot mess, that's all I can say about it. It's just a sloppy, ridiculous, hot mess. And that is not fun. I am simultaneously dreading and hopeful for Fallen Kingdom, it seems so new, full of stuff we have never seen before but I hope it hits well with me. Jurassic Park 3 killed this franchise for 15 years. Ever since Jurassic Park every sequel has hurt the series, Jurassic Park 3 almost killed it, and Jurassic World did not help the problem but it didn't have anywhere to go but up. Please don't let Fallen Kingdom suck! I can't do another horrible sequel guys, I just can't. All I ask of you is to hope for the best tomorrow.

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