Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Jurassic Park 3

Why William H. Macy?? Why? YOU ARE TEARING ME APART!

This movie is so worthless it makes The Lost World look like the friggin' Godfather Part 2! I mean, you wanna talk half-assed and not giving a damn? Look no further. I just...I'm done. It's not worth your time, but strangely I think the film knows that. It plays more like a B-movie you see on the Sci-Fi Channel (I still reguse to call it syfy) than a Jurassic Park movie. I mean really, subtract the references and Sam Neil and shazam! you got a Sci-Fi original movie where all you do is waste an hour and a half of your life and wish you did something better. Did this movie even get a theatrical release? I must admit, until this Friday I have never seen a Jurassic Park movie in theaters. First one came out before I was born, second one came out when I was 2, the third one we rented from Blockbuster, and Jurassic World I think I saw when it finally hit cable. And let's just say, the whole dinosaur phase that every kid goes through stuck around a bit longer for me. You know how much I remember of this movie? Maybe 30 minutes, all involving dinosaur chases and fights. I remember Jurassic Park 3 but not for the right reason. We rented it from Blockbuster, it's like 2002 maybe even 2003, my cousins were staying with us and after we watched the movie we stayed up all night and beat Super Mario World. That's how I remember Jurassic Park 3, not one of my favorite movies of all time like the first, not an exciting dinosaur action showcase like the second, but a small part of a pretty good evening. You can live without this movie, and go your whole life without seeing it. Just watch Shameless instead.

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