In Retrospect: The Last Jedi

Well they finally did it. They killed my fraking movie series.

The Last Jedi has ruined Star Wars forever. Worst movie like, ever!! How dare Rian Johnson make a Star Wars movie that didn't go exactly the way my fan theories and fan fiction went! Every single layer of this film has forever tainted Star Wars not unlike the glorious prequels! Like all those plot threads that didn't turn out the way I wanted, even though they have great potential for payoff in the next movie, like Rey's past or the killing of the Supreme Leader. And don't even get me started on the characters! You're telling me after 30 years of God knows what after Return Of The Jedi, Luke Skywalker has just walked away from everything including the Force, even though several terrible events besides the corruption of his nephew could have happened and made him actually take the religion of the Jedi into question and denouncement?? I'm sorry, he's just not my Luke Skywalker. And Leia flying through space like she's Mary Poppins? What were they smoking? Even though she could have learned and undertook years of Jedi training from Luke before returning to politics and giving birth to Ben. Pfft, 0/10! Rian Johnson has ruined my childhood and my favorite movie series!!! Ughhhh and Rose is seriously the worstest thing evar! The stupidest and most annoying character since Jar Jar Binks, despite she was given decent character development and insight during that relatively short Canto Bight scene that took up maybe 10 minutes but I hate it regardless because it took up waaaaaay too much time from the movie! God it felt like half the movie man!! This movie totally blows and Disney has killed and whored out Star Wars thanks to Kathleen Kennedy, one of the most prolific and successful producers on movies like, E.T., Back To The Future, Schindler's List, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit! What a hack!! I could have made this movie better even though I have absolutely no idea on even the first step of making a movie! And even though despite the movie taking bold risks, having good character development, kick ass action, gorgeous cinematography, and a surprisingly good story that has yet to be fully told I hate this movie! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!!! George Lucas should come back and do a special edition of this movie and fix everything while shoving more CGI into every frame! This is the worst Star Wars movie since The Empire Strikes Back because it was soooo boring! There wasn't nearly enough lightsabers in that movie to make it cool! I am so done with this series, it's like not even real bro. I refuse to watch Episode 9 despite it telling a story that can make this movie great! 0/10 stars, booooo! You suck Star Wars!!

Seriously though, relax. It's fine.

Ready Player One

You know this movie was made solely for the pause button.

Ready Player one is a grand adventure in both the past and future of technology, gaming, and all things pop culture. The story follows a man named Wade who lives in the future of 2045, where the world practically lives in a virtual reality world known as the Oasis where a quest for the only easter egg in the virtual world is pursued by our hero, which will give him complete control over the Oasis. He is helped by his virtual friends to stop a corporation from controlling the Oasis and basically making it an EA game. Sad but true. Oh, and of course I got every reference I set my eyes on, but I know I need to see it....4 more times before I catch em' all. And yes, I did have my geek out moments and my WTF moments due to the sheer awesomeness of it all. But even when you strip away the references and easter eggs, the film still stands on it's own. This is a terrific film, not just because it was almost tailor made for me, but it tells a good story with a good message and has good characters. Hell the movie feels like a 80s movie, plot, characters, and effects feel part of that era. I love how the Oasis looks and how the players within it look, though mind you our main hero reminded me a bit too much of that dumbass little jagoff from Final Fantasy 13. Not a good start, but it passed and the visuals are incredibly well done. I was surprised to find the book was written only 7 years ago, for some reason I thought it was written in the late 90s but knowing that the movie makes more since and I do genuinely want to read the book! It's a very good film that I think will endure and better with each viewing, and of course I'm going to buy it. Two problems though, they bring up coins in the game world and you can buy items and power ups with the coins and yet someone mentions they put all their real world money into the game to win even more. So do the coins transfer as real cash in the real world or is the currency around the world coins? They never explain that. Second, shame on you movie for no Tron references. I thought it was a lightcycle you see in the trailer during that race but it's the bike from Akira. Why no Tron references? At least none I could see! But the sure show a Colecvision. Does anybody even know what a Colecovision is besides me?? You couldn't thrown in the poster or see an identity disc defeat an enemy? Come on man! I know Tron was an underground movie in 1982 but come on! If the Pork Chop Express can make a cameo, you can throw in a Tron reference! That pisses me off, but screw it the movie is great, I loved the geekyness and I no doubt will go see it again soon. I do hope all this 80s throwback stuff revives a classic arcade. If so, I got first game and I'll see you guys there.

The Wizard

Oh man I rolled out of my seat I was laughing so hard at that Power Glove scene!

I gotta admit there is a bit more to this movie than a feature length Nintendo commercial as some people claim. The Wizard is a good movie, very dated, very commercial, and yet at the same time actually has a really good story and characters. The story follows a young boy named Jimmy who has been traumatized by the death of his sister and sent to an institution, where his young brother breaks him out and they make a quest to California, where they meet a young girl and discover Jimmy is ridiculously good at video games. So the gang comes up with a plan to put Jimmy in a video game tournament while making their trek to Jimmy's true destination. The first thing I gotta tell you guys is these kids are awesome, you spend enough time with them to get to know them and see them as real people, they have baggage, they have history even though they are very young. True, they sometimes act more like adults than the actual adults but it's essentially a kids movie so I can forgive that. I don't know, I was just in a good mood watching this movie! It was a big deal when this movie came out, Nintendo was on top of the world with a massive dedicated fanbase, and the unveiling of a certain new game at the end needless to say made people lose their minds. The film has some cheese to it, but I would be lying to say it isn't fun. Hell, the villain of the movie has lived beyond all these years with the immortal line which causes head shakes and guffaws aplenty, "I love the Power Glove. It's so bad...". Sweet Jesus. And one thing I especially noticed is how much of a time capsule this is. The NES came out in 1985, this movie came out in 1989 still during it's golden years but not only the Nintendo fever that was being felt, but also the movie throws in this big chase through a Universal Studios amusement park so that adds another layer of that specific time. You can almost look at it from a philosophical view. Optimists would say it's cool seeing a part of the world in that particular time, whereas pessimists would say it's heavily dated and hurts the film in years to come. I am an optimist in this case, to see a world so heavily seeped in video games and to also see just as simple a thing as an amusement park is really neat to me. And even I have to admit the final scene does in fact choke me up a bit, which just goes to show how well the characters and relationships were built. It's a really good movie and one I would definitely recommend to younger kids, maybe it could get them into older video games or video games in general! It's a good family movie, and I do see merit in what others brush off as a long commercial. If you have the time or interest you should give it a watch, I don't think you will be disappointed. Plus I'll give you a buck if you ever dialed up the Nintendo tip hotline and probably racked your parent's phone bill up sky high!

Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie

Here's a good video game movie for you!

Released 3 years ago, one of the most prolific and beloved internet critics took his passion of filmmaking and his world renowned show about berating bad games and created a highly entertaining, truly bizarre, and creative feature length movie. The Angry Video Game Nerd has been creating content for over 10 years now, and I'm proud to call myself a fan. And this is the epitome of a fan movie, not just because of the references, or his unique style that true fans will understand and appreciate, but because he proclaims his love for all his fans all over the world. It's an incredible movie considering how the whole project was independently funded and filmed, especially with the practical effects. It's like if you took a real shitty Asylum movie like Birdemic, and took every aspect of it and improved it. It still looks and feels like an independent film but what it does in terms of special effects and story is a billion times better than those movies. The story follows the Nerd on an epic journey involving the E.T. game on the Atari 2600, where he tries to debunk the myth of all the cartridge games being buried in the New Mexico desert while being pressured to review the game by his fans. Now let me state clearly, that is not the whole film. I would be here all day recounting the balls to the wall plot, but let's just say it's a riot! This is a hilarious movie but I know everyone won't get the humor. That's sort of the curse of a fan film, only fans will watch it. If you showed this to a friend or someone who never heard of the show, they would think you escaped from a mental institute. But if you keep a highly open mind, and just sit back and watch the madness I feel you can be entertained and wish to seek out James Rolfe's other projects, which of course I hope for. He makes so much stuff, and it is all incredibly funny and entertaining. I especially love the mythos he woved into the whole Atari landfill web, it surprisingly makes sense despite the outlandish events happening around it. I was scratching my head thinking, what video game movies are there? The answer is, not that many but as I was flipping through Amazon I found this on prime and I never watched it until now, so I figured screw it. And I was not disappointed, I really liked the movie, and I look forward to watching the plethora of behind the scenes material you can find on YouTube. This was a love letter to the fans fueled by ambition and creativity, and James deserves awards for this. Film is a visual medium, and it doesn't get more visually stimulating than this! So if you want a ludicrous and outstanding journey into video game movies, look no further than the Nerd who will take you back to the past....

It's Our 3rd Year!!!

You thought I forgot huh? 3rd year friends!! I'm kinda speechless I've been going for this long and have barely lost any steam. And we got oh so many movies to see and talk about, good and (unfortunately) bad. In fact....I sense a month of bad movies in the not too distant future. Because the sooner you talk about Twilight, the better life will be for everyone. I'm not ready though. I never will be. It would be interesting to do a series of drunk reviews! But we will cross and burn that bridge in due time. This week it's all about the video game movies. GOOD video game movies!! And after that, we have some movies to look back at and some unfinished business concerning my first reviewed shows. So always something new to talk about, and I'm happy I can do this every week. It really does bring me joy and hopefully brings good and underrated movies to light. Some people have asked me, why be a film critic? Everybody is a film critic, what makes you so special? And I have discovered a very long time ago the best movie critics don't push their opinions out because oh, I'm right and you are wrong and that's it. The very best movie critics have such passion and love for movies and not only want to recommend but just love to talk about movies. I love movies, I love talking about movies, I couldn't ask for a better dream job. Film in general is a gamble. From making a movie to watching a movie it requires a bit of risk. I watch movies so I can say oh hey, this is a great movie and you should totally go check it out! You gamble your free time on seeing a movie, that is where we come in. Of course no critic is correct, art and opinions are subjective, I saw Leap as a disappointing rehash of a story with some unique elements. Others can see it, accept what it is, and enjoy it. I know I'm talking out of my ass and no opinion really matters, but the opinion is just part of it. The love for movies is what drives me, but regardless I am thrilled I have a diverse audience. You know I got like 12 people in Russia who read my stuff? That is the coolest thing ever to me! I just try to write my best, say what I feel, and try not to write 50 pages worth of a simple review. Honesty is key, you gotta be blunt when it comes to a movie's faults and accomplishments, so I try to do that. I of course love doing this, thank all that read, and hopefully entertain as well as inform. 3 years and still going, what more could I ask for? And here is to soooo many years to come!

In Retrospect: Justice League

Yeah, I still really like this movie.

I gotta admit I was laughing my ass off at people who gave this movie 3 stars or lower on IMDB, that is a joke that will never get old! Really? If this is the worst movie you have ever seen you have either never been to the cinema in your life, don't know what a movie is, or have never seen movies like Manos The Hands Of Fate or The Room. You got off easy if this is the worst movie you have ever seen! Which is ridiculous because Justice League is a good movie. It is not great, perfect, or mind blowing. But it is a highly entertaining and cool movie for comic book fans and superhero movie fans. Every major character they did was brought to life and done justice. It's a shame Cyborg never got much screen time cause there is a lot to his character and I enjoyed him while he was on screen. Flash stole the movie for me, I absolutely adore Barry and I cannot wait to see him in future movies. I will not rant about the delayed Aquaman movie, at least we got it this year but I hate having to wait until Christmas to see quite possibly the greatest Aquaman in history. And the trinity of DC heroes, good work as always but of course special praise to Wonder Woman (I don't think Gal Gadot is her real name at this point...). Now is this the best adaptation of the Justice League? No. The animated series did everything right and is a classic, but I'll be damned if I said this movie sucked. Yeah, the villain was rubbish but honestly I have yet to see a recent comic book movie in the post-Dark Knight Rises world that had a really awesome villain. Lex was fine in the last movie, but he ain't no Tom Hardy. Both sides have suffered from this but I have faith in both companies to pull through. Ugh....now that I think about it I will be without a comic book movie until October. That sucks. Oh but many more movies, many more days. And we got one this Friday!

Star Wars Rebels: Season 4

Rebel scum....

Okay, fine! The last season was good, I'm not so sure it's the best, I still say the 3rd season was the best but for the end of a series it was fine. I got to say though I was so concerned about an episode titled "Worlds Between Worlds" not only did it remind me of that stupid friggin' line from Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, but it introduces a premise that could severely destroy Star Wars but they showed restraint and they did the right thing. I do have complaints. Mainly down to one factor, they didn't go all out. Now what do I mean by all out? Simple, you go dark. You push the threat to the next level, you show people die, you touch on darker aspects of war. And while they kinda do that, they wimp out. I fully expected the entire Ghost crew to bite the dust, pull a Rogue One, everyone dies, the end. But they don't and it bugs the hell out of me. You never see these people again, so why not make their deaths powerful and memorable? That's what pissed me off the most, they couldn't kill people. I know this is for kids, but Clone Wars was for kids and people got straight up executed in that show! So why not show some heroes die or stormtroopers be cut to shreds by a lightsaber? What are they gonna do, pull the plug on your final season?? Go all out, push the characters to the limit, elevate the threat and the danger of not only Thrawn but The Emperor himself! Do something! I don't hate this show, I really don't but on the verge of the end you gotta go off the deep end. Beyond that factor, the season was good. It did not end the way I thought in any fashion, but it was a decent end to a good show. The story is good though, with Ezra and the Ghost crew taking missions for the Rebel Alliance and trying to liberate Ezra's planet of Lothal. Throw in good character moments, decent action, and a pretty um....liberty taking ending that will make some people happy but me, I'm just not feeling it. I'm happy Rex made it though! But Thrawn...it killed me. I am wondering why they brought in Rukh if they never intended of using him that way, but it was cool seeing him. Oh yeah, heavy underuse of Thrawn. Like, how dare you? He did have the most badass moment in Star Wars, more so than Vader in a long hallway in my opinion. Yes. I said that. I have such respect for this show and use of Expanded Universe content, which I am always thrilled to see so I can't be too upset. It's a very good show that kids will look back on 10 or 15 years from now and remember fondly, and how on Earth can I hate that? That is beyond awesome and cool to me! So the saying still holds truth in Star Wars, "For those who remember, for those who will never forget, and for a whole new generation who will experience it for the very first time.". I greatly enjoyed Star Wars Rebels and it is sad to see it end, but there will be more greatness in the future. Everything is proceeding as I have forseen....