In Retrospect: The Rise Of Skywalker

I don't care. It's still a good movie. (PS. Full spoilers ahead.)

What do you want from me? Rise Of Skywalker is a mighty good Star Wars movie. In fact I enjoyed it much more this time around. The pacing wasn't as quick to me, I recognized parts I didn't the first time, and I got more emotional throughout the film. What's the issue here? What did this movie do to you? Cause from the reactions I've seen you could have sworn this film burned fan's homes to the ground, murdered their pets, and stole their spouse. It's laughable. Is it perfect? God no. No Star Wars movie is perfect and this is coming from the biggest nerd for this shit. The weird Goonies dagger was a bizzare but shameless mcguffin, Finn having the Force was hinted at well but I kinda needed a smidge more, yeah Hux goes out like a bitch but honestly he goes out in a much more stupid way in the original script, we needed so much more Ian McDiarmid like it wasn't even funny you teased him so you better give him a lot of screentime, but really the only real problems I have with this movie was the dagger. I enjoyed everything else and could understand everything else. The fight scenes are fun, dramatic, always visually interesting and never once got dull. The characters are so damn likable and I just want more of them after this. Seeing Finn be more comfortable in his military position and him finding he is not alone in this universe with the group of defected stormtroopers was super nice. I liked the bit of backstory Poe got and seeing him come to terms with being the leader of the Resistance was fulfilling after his arc in Last Jedi. C-3P0, Lando, and Chewie were great as always and I'm truly happy none of the heroes died off in this movie. I hear people bitch about that but would you have been really happy if Chewie died in that undignified way, would you be happy if C-3P0 forever lost his memory? No. And I can somewhat applaud the effort from the filmmakers to give that emotional push to the story. Seeing Leia again actually got me several times even with a non-emotionally charged scene, and the send off she gets and the impact her past and present actions do for the story I greatly enjoyed. Kylo's journey becomes complete from total badass Sith to redeemed hero and while my own dream ending would be to have the Empire win, the shift was believable the scene with Han I daresay is one of the best and most heartfelt moments in Star Wars history, and no I still haven't gotten over that he died but I understand why he had to. Palpatine is just as cunniving and powerful as ever with Ian McDiarmid doing such a fantastic job bridging the entire series together, Palpatine has always been the puppet master since before even Episode 1 so I dig that he created Snoke, formed the First Order, and returned in a clone body. I even can believe he had a son, you're telling me when he was appointed Supreme Chancellor he didn't have a little hey hey with someone and tried to cover it up? The timeline works so I must give credit where credit is due. Now we come to Rey, good lord almighty it's great to see her in this movie fully embracing the Jedi persona and having her own dilemmas and doubts be overcomed is great to see. And yes, I do stand by her last name choice. Sure I can completely and utterly respect her choice of being called a Skywalker cause well let's face it guys, the Skywalker family has really been her only family, Han was like her dad, Leia was not only her master but a loving mother figure, Luke was kind of a grumpy uncle but someone she could confide in and helped pull her through a dark time, it makes sense why she would honor them in that way. But I also would have liked to see her claim her rightful place as a Palpatine, yeah the Skywalker thing is a good big middle finger to your grandpappy Palpy, but I would have liked to see her prove that a last name means nothing, that you could be a Palpatine and still be a beacon of hope and goodness. I know a lot of people were upset that Rey was indeed not a nobody, but to be perfectly frank I would have enjoyed it either way, so what if she comes from an important family? So what if she doesn't? It's not about who you were but who you are as of right now. It's a strong good theme peppered throughout the film. I still get goosebumps seeing her yellow lightsaber, because if I was ever a Jedi (God help me if I do) my color would be yellow so to finally see it on the big screen is a big deal for me. I just absolutely loved this movie, and still stand by my ranking. I still fully concede this is for more hardcore Star Wars fans, I can see normal movie going people having several questions and concerns about the information given in the film which is fine, I totally get it. It's partly reason why I strangely love debating this movie with people, "Oh it's garbage, it's an embarassment" (yeah because clearly Star Wars has never screwed up in the past), because I like exchanging of ideas and lines of thought as long as it's in a respectable and civil way. I got some heat for my Clone Wars comments but I explained why I felt that way and even some people agreed with me likewise as I agreed with them on several points. I've heard people practically shriek this is the end of Star Wars, and I have never laughed so boisterously and hard in my entire life to such statements, if anything I'm more excited for Star Wars now than ever. Because, we're done with this story. They can go in any direction possible and not have to tie it back in with the original trilogy. Sky's the limit, I have hope we'll get grand stories, fun ideas, lovely characters, and pieces of media that will forge memories forever. Star Wars is not perfect, but it's uncanny ability to make people connect and identify with this batshit crazy universe is what has kept it going, and every avenue you take in terms of the different pieces of media leads to universes unto themselves. Yeah I feel like a jackass for not reading the books until I was in college, I still have plenty of video games I would love to play and experience, the upcoming shows keep my interest peaked and the old shows never fade. But at the end of the day, Star Wars is my one and only. It is unavoidable, it is my destiny.

PSS. I highly recommend the Cinema Wins video on this, it brings up brilliant points and might change your certain point of view.

The Rise Of Skywalker

There is so much I want to say but just can't say.

The bottom line is you should go see this movie. I didn't really know what to expect but I left that theater with a huge smile on my face and a lot of excitement. You think I'd be bummed out to see it end but I'm practically ecstatic! Screw the 53%, you have to make the decision for yourself. I've only gathered four reviews from YouTube reviewers that I watch and two were negative while two were positive, but in the end it is your own personal opinion that tips the scale. I really, really enjoyed this movie! If a movie can make my jaw drop more than a handful of times then clearly they did something right, and I was shocked quite a few times actually but not out of anger or disbelief. I was overjoyed with 99% of the story choices they made, the 1% I didn't like well...I bet you already know what it is. And every story and character decision they made worked very well, now I can see some people walking out of this movie howling betrayal and calling bullshit, but I have some sage advice that even rivals Master Yoda's. It's a movie chill out. You don't have to agree with everything they did and that's fine, but to possibly walk out of this movie feeling it was a waste of time and effort would be lying to yourself. There's lots of good things in this movie. The story is very much focused on Rey and Kylo, each building their own power and the power of their allies in a battle for the galaxy with twists and turns throughout. I love what they did with Rey and making her much more powerful after gathering the Jedi books and even is being taught by Leia. That's so cool! The first like five minutes of the movie, it could have been longer because I was so swept up in it, was just almost pornography to my eyes and ears with the screaming engines of TIE Fighters, the rising of Star Destroyers, and Kylo Ren being everything I wished him to be. You knew how to make me very happy Mr. Abrams and I have to say thank you for it. I'm actually really happy one of my ideas for Star Wars being handled by Disney was actually done, they take bits and pieces of previous expanded universe stories and just tweak them to fit the new storyline they made. I've been asking for that since 2016, and they have a goldmine to use! Even with horrible expanded universe stories there are still strong aspects you could take and utilize. So the story is great, the characters and their interactions are very strong now more than ever, the action actually has weight and tension because it's the last movie and if Monstervision has taught me anything, anybody can die at anytime. It was bittersweet seeing Carrie one last time and did get me emotional on numerous occasions, but the way they handled her was great and I'm just happy to have seen her one last time. It's such a shame we've lost so many beloved actors of this franchise but as long as we remember them they're never really gone. I really enjoyed the dive into both Jedi and Sith religions, and maybe it's just because I've been brushing up on the Book Of Sith but there was a lot to take in. I feel this movie is so much more for the hardcore Star Wars fan and maybe not so much regular audiences, because some crazy stuff goes down and to a fan I know this has been done before and I really enjoy seeing it on the big screen, but to your average moviegoer it might be a tough pill to swallow and they'll have questions and complaints. I get it, it's understandable. But the film explains many aspects and the answers you don't get can still be reached. It's just a matter of opening yourself to accept the answers and the truth of the matter. I wasn't disappointed at all and had a great time to the point where if I died tomorrow I'd be alright knowing I got to see the end of my favorite movies ever. But now the question remains, where does this rank? Now this will be just the Skywalker saga so no TV shows, no spinoff movies, just Episodes I-IX. Here we go.

9. Attack Of The Clones
8. The Phantom Menace
7. Return Of The Jedi
6. Revenge Of The Sith
5. The Last Jedi
4. The Force Awakens
3. The Rise Of Skywalker
2. A New Hope
1. The Empire Strikes Back

So let it be written. So let it be done. 4 stars, a solid 8.5/10 maybe even a 9/10, a must see before the end of the decade. This will be a day long remembered for those who remember, for those who will never forget, and for a whole new generation who will experience it for the very first time.

In Retrospect: The Last Jedi

Well they finally did it. They killed my fraking movie series.

The Last Jedi has ruined Star Wars forever. Worst movie like, ever!! How dare Rian Johnson make a Star Wars movie that didn't go exactly the way my fan theories and fan fiction went! Every single layer of this film has forever tainted Star Wars not unlike the glorious prequels! Like all those plot threads that didn't turn out the way I wanted, even though they have great potential for payoff in the next movie, like Rey's past or the killing of the Supreme Leader. And don't even get me started on the characters! You're telling me after 30 years of God knows what after Return Of The Jedi, Luke Skywalker has just walked away from everything including the Force, even though several terrible events besides the corruption of his nephew could have happened and made him actually take the religion of the Jedi into question and denouncement?? I'm sorry, he's just not my Luke Skywalker. And Leia flying through space like she's Mary Poppins? What were they smoking? Even though she could have learned and undertook years of Jedi training from Luke before returning to politics and giving birth to Ben. Pfft, 0/10! Rian Johnson has ruined my childhood and my favorite movie series!!! Ughhhh and Rose is seriously the worstest thing evar! The stupidest and most annoying character since Jar Jar Binks, despite she was given decent character development and insight during that relatively short Canto Bight scene that took up maybe 10 minutes but I hate it regardless because it took up waaaaaay too much time from the movie! God it felt like half the movie man!! This movie totally blows and Disney has killed and whored out Star Wars thanks to Kathleen Kennedy, one of the most prolific and successful producers on movies like, E.T., Back To The Future, Schindler's List, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit! What a hack!! I could have made this movie better even though I have absolutely no idea on even the first step of making a movie! And even though despite the movie taking bold risks, having good character development, kick ass action, gorgeous cinematography, and a surprisingly good story that has yet to be fully told I hate this movie! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!!! George Lucas should come back and do a special edition of this movie and fix everything while shoving more CGI into every frame! This is the worst Star Wars movie since The Empire Strikes Back because it was soooo boring! There wasn't nearly enough lightsabers in that movie to make it cool! I am so done with this series, it's like not even real bro. I refuse to watch Episode 9 despite it telling a story that can make this movie great! 0/10 stars, booooo! You suck Star Wars!!

Seriously though, relax. It's fine.

2nd Viewing: The Last Jedi

You know this movie really does get better on a second viewing. Cause the first time, you experience it, feel the emotions, and swept away with the story. On second viewing, you can think about it, because you know all the elements. If you were shifting on where this movie stands, I urge you to view it again. It is the only true way to fully realize it.

I liked The Last Jedi when I first saw it, had some issues and questions, but regardless left the theater happy to see a new Star Wars movie after The Force Awakens gave me hope. Several elements I had issues with, were lessened and resolved on a second viewing. I actually enjoyed the Porgs this time around and were not intrusive on moments, the comedy bits were not as many as I thought and sometimes even had purpose, new characters had their place and I enjoyed them. The only really bad things I could say about this movie is, Benicio del Toro was really wasted and didn't offer much, the Star Destroyer's could have easily overwhelmed eradicated the rebel scum instead of trailing behind, and the last scene sucks. I know the reason it is there. I know. But you can distinctively tell the movie was supposed to end with everyone talking on the Falcon, then they tagged this scene on. I absolutely hate that final scene. Everything else was fine! It was really good, effects were outstanding, story was sound, characters had motivation and development, hell even the whole Canto Bight segment did not feel that long. It was maybe 10 to 15 minutes of movie or at least that's how it felt. I'm gonna say this, and Star Wars fans are either going to hate me for this or get it but.....this felt akin to a Timothy Zahn Star Wars novel, especially in terms of Luke's character, storylines and elements from The Thrawn Trilogy were present here, and the multiple planets we visited. If you read his stuff, you will notice these things. Maybe that's just me, but I could sense it woven through the story. And before I go can I just ask, why does everyone hate Rose? Like....they say she is worse than Jar Jar. Hwhat?? No. You are on crack. No! Wrong! Completely, and utterly wrong. They gave her a bit of character, she wasn't annoying, I found her to be a likeable, kind, and very human woman, and by God she wears that First Order uniform to perfection. Just why this massive amounts of hate? You could get far...far worse in terms of characters, so take a step back, breathe, think. I never got too excited for any new Star Wars movie and I am a huge fan for now over 20 years, but I accepted it, I was excited but did not expect everything, I was just happy to see another new Star Wars movie. I never theorized or tried to piece together a puzzle that may well not be there, though fun you can never take it too seriously. People are trying to pretty much Death Star this movie from the Star Wars Universe, and make it not exist. This has only happened once, and it was the Star Wars Holiday Special and that actually deserved to be wiped out. This is better than that. I'm not saying I'm better than you or anything like that, I'm just stating my opinion. This is a really good Star Wars movie, I would place it in my top 5 easy. So I only ask if you just saw it once, see it again, then come here and tell me what you think. Time has passed, you've been able to think it over, accept some things, now you can progress forward. Do this, for me.

The Last Jedi

I have never heard a more appropriate and true line in a trailer ever, "This is not going to go the way you think.".

New Star Wars movie, well that's neat........STAR WARS!!!! Yes!! Yes! The day is finally here! And let's be real here. From fan to fan, this movie is very good but it has problems. The story pretty much takes place after Force Awakens, Rey finds Luke and tries to persue Jedi training, Leia, Poe, and Finn are fleeing from the First Order, and Kylo Ren and Snoke are hell bent on ruling the galaxy. First thing is first, this is not Empire Strikes Back. At all. This movie does things no other Star Wars movie has ever done or even dreamed of doing. That must be commended for something, for going to such unforseen and unexpected areas but it just makes me wonder what in God's name is gonna happen in Episode 9? I don't know! Don't even have a clue! And neither do you! It pleases me they went in a bold, and unexpected route but what now? What comes next? Have to say, performances are still strong though. Mark, Daisy, Carrie, and John are the real stars here and they all bring full force into these characters. And seeing Carrie Fisher on screen for the last time was surprisingly pleasant, I forgot she was no longer here because she is just so great in this movie. Action and effects are extremely well done, with jaw dropping scenes, and moments that made my heart thud in my chest. So obviously the movie had profound effects on me, so it must be amazing right? Well...kinda. There was so much pandering to younger kids with these jokes that have no place being in a very serious Star Wars movie, and the Porgs got distracting. Why is it a sin to have a serious movie? I know Star Wars is for all, especially kids, but could you literally have not put butts in those seats if you didn't tell jokes? I place this stigma on today's movies, you can't be too serious because every godforsaken movie HAS to have comic relief right?! Just....this movie has tonal problems. But thankfully it quits after awhile. It's like there were so many good and even groundbreaking things you saw in a Star Wars movie, but there were elements that could not be ignored and hurt the film. The ending was by far the worst part, not just because it was over but it just kinda stops. Sure, stuff happens but it just leaves you dangling and not even in a good cliffhanger way! Just, what the hell is supposed to happen next? Now you can argue the middle movies of both trilogies had similar endings where not much happened and you were left guessing but with this movie, I thought the ending was just kinda there and had no real purpose. I'm very happy I saw it, it certainly did not disappoint but I feel like I need to see it again before I can fully put my thoughts in. Of course you should see it, to make your own judgements but I can safely say that I did enjoy this movie and really, really need to see it again for myself.

Well I think that's it. Time for the reviews to end for the year. Surprisingly, and again I do need to see this movie another time, this was not the best movie of the year. At the moment. I'll watch it again and make my ultimate decision, so I'll let you know before Christmas. Until then, thanks for another year, hope you have a fantastic holiday, and may the force be with you.

Murder On The Orient Express

Well bollocks, turns out I did know the ending!

You ever have something either ruined or spoiled for you, and yet somehow you didn't know? Like it wasn't this buildup to a reveal, it was more or less just said in conversation and your brain didn't register it? Because all throughout Murder On The Orient Express, I was paying attention to the facts, not jumping ahead to any conclusions (though I did make several correct deductions), being calm and collected and not being spirited away by my theories and thoughts and just soaked it all in. However! In the back of my mind, that thought kept nudging. You know the one, where your brain is pretty much telling you, you already know the truth/ending/reveal. Did this hurt my enjoyment of the film? Surprisingly not, cause there were twists, and revelations that led to the big reveal that I did not know so it was this, really weird and surreal feeling where you know the ending and yet did not know the events leading up to it. Same sort of thing happened with Psycho for me. But I digress so we can actually get on with it! Murder On The Orient Express, though a classic story has been done justice in my opinion, and you know what really surprised me? This is a movie that could actually tell the story in modern time, but it chooses to stay in 1934 so visually, the film is spectacular! The fashion, sets, and setting all look wonderful. Our story follows a world renowned detective having to spontaneously board the Orient Express, where shock of all shocks, a murder takes place, the train is stuck in an avalanche, leaving the detective to solve the crime before the train can move on and the culprit can escape. Now while this is a very star studded cast, what I loved was, the characters were not one dimensional and just the actors who potrayed them. There is backstory, and important tidbits of information to almost each and every character, making them feel more real and not, oh that's just that suspicious looking guy, or it's just that mousy girl who is shy. There's more to them than that so I was very happy it wasn't just stereotype on top of stereotype. The mystery aspect is done very well, with enough twists and revelations to keep it interesting and not seem absurd with a new twist every 10 minutes. The logic of the crime solving is legitimate and there's no huge Sherlockian moments where the case is nearly completed in less than 60 seconds. Our detective is a perfectionist, very OCD, so detective work is merely an extension of his normal everyday life, he's not a super intelligent genius but he is intelligent and uses common sense and logic to solve the case and find evidence. It could have been so easy to make him an eccentric genius with a superhuman brain, but they did not and I applaud them for that. All the actors do their parts well, though Judi Dench is criminally underused, seriously how dare you? But anyway, another major positive is there is no red herrings, or fake outs with who killed our victim. Sure, you can have your suspicions but there is nothing concrete to go on. It reminds me a bit too much of Clue, downright to some scenes and instances which I can deal with, I love that movie to death so I guess one of the most underrated and cult classic of mystery films influenced this movie. But hey, I haven't read Agatha Christie's novel so maybe Murder On The Orient Express inspired Clue to a massive degree! Actually yeah, if I can go on one more brief tangent before I wrap this up, um what is the point of going to see a film adaptation of a crime or mystery novel if you have read the book? Like, you know how it ends and all the events leading up to it so why go see the movie? That never made sense, probably because it doesn't! Like what the hell is the point? Either watch the film or read the book. Granted this doesn't count with ALL books, I want to read all the Lord Of The Rings books including The Silmarillion even though I've seen the movies hundreds of times. So this gripe is only with murder mystery novels. Man, I really went off this time didn't I? It's rare I get this many tangents and ravings on my reviews so I'm sorry about that! Uh, to close the file on this one, if you legit do not know the ending go see the movie! This movie felt really concise and quick for a two hour movie, so I say go for it! But if you do know the ending, or read the book, or just don't care that much, pass it.