Happy Anniver- Oh...

Maybe I should retire. I know I was busy and dog tired but what in the actual shit is this?? Never have I ever forgotten my own anniversary, I might as well divorce myself now. And on that bombshell...I'm just joshing you, I wouldn't end it like that. But yeah man, jeez 11 years now and while I'm still very much operating in the background it's good to still be going. I don't know if I'll do a standard week of reviews every month but it's not a horrible idea. I will say we got two new movies to review this week so that'll be fun but I'm just hoping for a healthy amount of new releases. I'd also like to just do what I do best, rant and ramble, maybe do another EVOTIC or ruminate on the state of now vs. then like I often do in real life. I didn't think I'd ever truly get this far, past a decade now but time, as Seal would say, keeps slipping into the future. Shoot it'll be the birthday month before I can even blink and I got a little something something that I hope I can lock the fuck in for cause this has been on my list for at minimum 8 years, I honestly can't believe I haven't done it yet. So if the stars align and life is kind we're gonna talk some Batman Beyond. But that is the future and we are right now, slightly late mind you but all we can do is take it one day at a time and try to make the most of it. It isn't always easy but I have faith in you, and like me you probably got some groovy things to look forward to in the not too distant future, so stick around. You may be surprised how it all turns out. I'll see you on the weekend and if we're lucky we'll have some far out cinema to talk about. Until next time.

9 Down, 1 To Go

Alright, I'm back. Happy to be going to a semi-regular schedule, it was a nice little break just focusing on new movies but I'd like to be more consistent. Cause man there were multiple weeks of nothing new hitting the cinemas and that's not terribly fair to all the folks who come here to hear me ramble on like I do, so henceforth until madness strikes minimum of one review a week both old or new. I got a little something for you today to make this occasion all the merrier, giving you 3 reviews this week in preparation for Godzilla × Kong (How do you pronounce the ×, what does it mean??) so I hope you enjoy that. My God to think I've nearly kept this hobby up for a decade is almost inconcievable to me, because I was browsing the YouTubes as I often do, I've been an addict since 2007 it's never going away and I've embraced that, and I've seen videos that were uploaded in like 2013-2014 and I was like...it doesn't seem that long ago. It couldn't have been that long ago! But then it dawned on me I was 18-ish years old around that time, just on the cusp of being a unknown film critic, wrapping up high school, and shit man this whole life thing really does spirit you away in ways you'll never imagine. Did I ever think I was going to have written over 1100 reviews by now? That would be a naw. But I'm damn happy to have done it and hope it made a difference to somebody, even if just once. I mean it too, if you avoided a bad movie or gave something a shot just based on what I had to say about it, every single second of writing all those was worth it. No question. Couldn't tell you what's coming up this year but I think we can make it through and come out with more positive viewing experiences than negative ones. Free spoiler, yes this is breaking exclusive news just for you, this review coming up oh it's an angry one. I'll get that up later so enjoy and thanks for for joining as always!

8 Years In A Flash

I know I said it but I still don't feel great about it. But it's time. From now until the 9th year anniversary next year, I'm taking a major break from reviews. New movie reviews will come out, I actually have a little over a month of stuff coming out pretty much culminating on my birthday so this isn't goodbye. And who knows, madness may indeed strike and I shall briefly rise from my tomb in the month of October to talk more spooky goodness! But it's genuinely a lot to take in, as I stated in my Rings Of Power review I can't believe I've hit 1,000 reviews and now we're almost to 1,050 in just 8 years. It certainly doesn't feel like 8 years! Just holy crap I've done way more than I ever thought I was going to do, I was wondering if I was gonna keep going to 100 reviews let alone ten times that amount. I don't hate doing it, I couldn't quit if I tried, and even with the breaks I take each year I'm still working on a constant regular basis. As an individual with a great love for cinema and expressing yourself through writing, if you add autism and depression into any equation you're going to have a lot of mental balancing. I'm not even stressed over this show man, I keep up a pretty strict relax regiment on a daily basis to keep my mind limber and at peace, with great success. I'm not burned out I promise, I'm just taking several steps back and looking at the big picture and evaluating what I've done. And I've done a lot with plenty more still to do. The fact this website garners about 1,000 people a month who read any of my reviews blows my mind completely, from here in the States to Russia to Asia I've had some big attention shed on my work and I really fucking mean this when I say, thank you. I'm incredibly content with the number of folks who seek out an opinion of mine, completely counterculture and wild though they are! I don't get paid a dime for my work but I could care less. Would I absolutely love to make this my living? Of course! But I certainly ain't mad about dumping probably close to $5,000 give or take over the course of all these years for movies cause let's be honest here I got a track record of mostly good movies. And I genuinely feel I'm only now starting to become more critical, I've held the belief that my writing has only gotten better with time, and it is night and day between this year's reviews and my 2015 reviews. I also will continue to pursue to be an optimistic reviewer, and you can absolutely expect a much needed addition to the Evolutionary Viewing Of The Internet Critic next month for me to elaborate further on that point. I must admit something though man, I'm so thrilled I've been writing reviews because it terrifies me beyond belief I'm having a much harder time of remembering things now more than ever, it's very concerning cause I can somewhat describe the feelings I got from a certain film but not a great deal on details of the film itself. You know? The human mind can only hold so much information, and to be candid none of the information in my head is incredibly useful not unless I win a cash prize for a Star Wars quiz. Not to close out on a morbidly introsepctive note but people create things and do things to create an impression, a legacy after they die, something to be not only remembered for but just to show you were there at all. This is mine. Memento Mori. I will see you all next week for admittedly just 2 reviews to kinda set the pace for the future, but the fun will never end it's adventure time!

Captain's Log: Year 7

Stardate 75696.3, we have reached our 7th year in the continuing encounter of countless types of cinema and visual media. Databanks show a current number of 920 reviews and still going. Yet I wonder if we'll reach #1000 before the end of the year or even next year's anniversary, I don't believe in the no win scenario. I don't like to lose. There are always possibilities Spock said, and come what may I am happy to still be doing this. I also have much to be thankful for, least of all my readers regardless of volume or nationality for their interest in my humble and unprofessional opinions and ramblings. I do not feel this endeavor to be a vain or empty one and of my friends who continue to read and explore with me I can only say this, of all the memories I have made in my life these are the most gratifying. I hope to continue for some years more, and still contribute good entertaining recommendations for all. By my calculations in the coming weeks we'll be visiting comic book movies, video game movies, magical movies and movies that defy genre, needless to mention another personal event that prompts one to somewhat feel old...worn out. But I'd rather be speaking my opinions, speaking them before I turn into a part of my collection, before I really do grow old. Cheers to the site and all those who attend, and tomorrow we'll knock out this kaiju series. Live long and rock on.

Anniversary Log: Year 6

It has just been brought to my attention that today marks the 6th year anniversary of my reviews. Holy balls of fire, it nearly swept under the radar for me. I was just gonna review Space Godzilla and call it a day, but today is a happy day and a nice occasion. It's funny I actually was thinking about just how far I've come earlier this week in fact. Really it's a miracle this has went on for so long. So much nonsense and shit has happened since the show's inception and I haven't the foggiest how I've kept it up. It's no shy statement when I say this website, this show, my lifestyle has changed forever because of just writing average, rambling, mostly positive but nonetheless informal reviews. I went on a tangent, like I always do, and flat out said I would be a richer man if I didn't start this show. I think that's crossed a lot of critic's minds, think of the absurd countless hours of watching movies and the uncalculable amounts of money spent on this little pet project. But frankly I don't care. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe...foreign films off the coast of Japan, I watched Hollywood stars glitter in the golden age of cinema, all those moments will be here through time. Like, words in stone. Films I would never have gotten around to seeing if I didn't put it on a calendar and wrote about it. My words of passion and love for certain movies, actors, directors never heard. I have no misgivings about my position, I run this show from my living room couch with a phone in my hand, lolligagging about. And if my calculations are correct, we could hit 1,000 reviews before the 7th year. 1,000 reviews. Can you imagine? What would I even do after that?? It's grown so much, it feels bigger than me despite my crucial input for it. My writing has improved, my sensibilities and opinions have matured, doing this has made me feel better. It's just what I aspire to do and I think grand total I haven't even made a literal dime off it in all this time. It doesn't matter, I do it to do it. I'm gonna try to figure out something for the 800th review, I can't even begin to comprehend or thank anyone who has read even just one review, let alone all of them. I just speak my feelings and hope someone gets a good movie to watch every week. Entertainment from me is second, movie recommendations are first. There's so many talented, genuinely funny, great reviewers out there and I always try to give them some love. I spend so much of my down time watching reviews, it's just great stuff to listen to, to hear other opinions and to see someone's perspective. I disagree with stuff, like anyone, but like with the movies I have seen and talked about, the pros almost overwhelmingly outweigh the cons. And...if someone like me with no budget, a less than stable but still good life, and constant changes to my review schedule can do all of this, boy howdy the things you could do with your passions and careers. I'm still reeling from the reminder about everything, I seriously am just lost for words. But I can tell you I'll keep this up anyway I can for as long as I can, maybe until I die, maybe until I can't remember my own name, but into the forseeable future and for the rest of my life. And remember my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

It's Our 5th Anniversary!!!!

Holy hot damn. I'd never thought I'd see the day. 5 years, 5 amazing years. I can scarcely believe it! I'll freely admit I had no idea how long this was going to go, I was hoping for a long time, at least one decade but was hoping to make it at least 5 years.

622 reviews written, from Birdman to Jojo Rabbit. And I would like to share the numbers with you on this huge moment, not to gloat but to share how much this little passion project that pays me pennies a month has meant to me. 84 reviews written in 2015, when it was just something I wanted to do but wasn't quite sure how to properly do it. 106 reviews written in 2016, when I was getting used to it and started reviewing movies in theaters. 119 reviews in 2017 when I began to solidify my own stream of concious style of reviews while still going on my tangents and rants. 135 reviews in 2018, breaking my highest new movie reviews record with 30 in theater reviews and still going strong. An all time high of 142 reviews written just last year, a number which I'm not sure I can top this year or like...ever. And currently 37 reviews as of March 25th 2020. And if you've been there at all in those past 5 years, whether from the proto-years or just have stuck around for the past month or so, I really and truly have to say thank you. I may not get to be a well known critic and that's fine by me, I don't do this to be famous or rich or influential, nor will I ever. I just like talking about movies and sharing my thoughts and experiences. I know I'm a very counter culture beast, with my fair share of unpopular opinions but when movies are good I have to praise them. Hell if I helped somebody from not seeing a bad movie and they took a recommendation of mine and liked a movie which I thought was good, that's all I ever want or need in life. You know, I'm not a very talkative person, I'm a much better listener than anything, I'm bad with names and sometimes faces, I forget things so easily when I don't mean to, I've lost track of the movies and shows I've talked about on numerous occasions, I've come to realize opinions can change and looking at things in retrospect can be handy. And while it's not always easy to talk about, I am on the spectrum, I am autistic, I always tell people I'm good at two things: Talking about movies, and giving my opinion, which is kinda true. I go through volleys of jobs and positions because no place has ever really fit me as an individual, who I am in my heart of hearts, not because of cruel or malicious people or demanding work habits but because I do things in my own way and I speak my mind. This is the only real place I can be myself, and feel very comfortable just doing what I love to do and what I can do. I feel that the world does need film critics, or movie critics, or whatever you want to call them quite possibly more than any other medium though I appreciate all forms of art with great respect and admiration. Simply because movies are everywhere, everybody goes to the movies, everybody wants to watch movies, and I feel that you shouldn't have to waste precious hours of your life on something you won't like. When it comes to either time or money, time wins every single way. Do you have to agree with me? God no. Should you always take my recommendations? Of course not. You be you, but if I got you to see something you might not have at first glance or maybe just talked about a movie that you really love and can agree on my opinions, then that means the world to me. It's not a profession that needs to exist or be filled, but it's a profession that certain people gravitate toward and simply want to do. And I was hesitant at first, not sure how to even begin or if I should do it at all. But I got news for you, I would not want my life to go any other way. And I highly encourage people to do their passion project even if for no other reason than just to do it, whether it's art, science, history, politics, mechanics, whatever. Just see where it takes you. I've invested hundreds of dollars and no doubt months of my life just to watch a movie or a show and tell you about it. Do I regret it? Never. And before I wanted to go I just wanted to say you are fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? So am I.

It's Our 3rd Year!!!

You thought I forgot huh? 3rd year friends!! I'm kinda speechless I've been going for this long and have barely lost any steam. And we got oh so many movies to see and talk about, good and (unfortunately) bad. In fact....I sense a month of bad movies in the not too distant future. Because the sooner you talk about Twilight, the better life will be for everyone. I'm not ready though. I never will be. It would be interesting to do a series of drunk reviews! But we will cross and burn that bridge in due time. This week it's all about the video game movies. GOOD video game movies!! And after that, we have some movies to look back at and some unfinished business concerning my first reviewed shows. So always something new to talk about, and I'm happy I can do this every week. It really does bring me joy and hopefully brings good and underrated movies to light. Some people have asked me, why be a film critic? Everybody is a film critic, what makes you so special? And I have discovered a very long time ago the best movie critics don't push their opinions out because oh, I'm right and you are wrong and that's it. The very best movie critics have such passion and love for movies and not only want to recommend but just love to talk about movies. I love movies, I love talking about movies, I couldn't ask for a better dream job. Film in general is a gamble. From making a movie to watching a movie it requires a bit of risk. I watch movies so I can say oh hey, this is a great movie and you should totally go check it out! You gamble your free time on seeing a movie, that is where we come in. Of course no critic is correct, art and opinions are subjective, I saw Leap as a disappointing rehash of a story with some unique elements. Others can see it, accept what it is, and enjoy it. I know I'm talking out of my ass and no opinion really matters, but the opinion is just part of it. The love for movies is what drives me, but regardless I am thrilled I have a diverse audience. You know I got like 12 people in Russia who read my stuff? That is the coolest thing ever to me! I just try to write my best, say what I feel, and try not to write 50 pages worth of a simple review. Honesty is key, you gotta be blunt when it comes to a movie's faults and accomplishments, so I try to do that. I of course love doing this, thank all that read, and hopefully entertain as well as inform. 3 years and still going, what more could I ask for? And here is to soooo many years to come!

It's Our Two Year Anniversary!!!

Huzzah! Another year of reviews, it doesn't really seem like it but hey I guess that means I'm enjoying it. I actually loved how I reviewed Power Rangers the day before because last year I reviewed the fricking animated Batman and Superman Movie, on the exact same day as the anniversary by the way. I don't know just seems more awesome that I reviewed Power Rangers. Oh, and I forgot to tell you somethimg in the review! I was walking back from the theater and I noticed there were these I kid you not, colored crystals. I picked up two blue crystals on my way home. So does that mean I'm going to be like Billy Badass from Power Rangers? I'm fine with that. Kinda makes me want to walk back and scour the land for other colored ones, it just seemed so surreal to find these like colored gems on my way home from Power Rangers. But anyway, what will we do today? Last year I did my top 20 films, but that was in accordance with my 100th review, not the anniversary. So this year I am rectifying the situation and will give you my top 30 television shows, since well this year has had a good chunk of tv show reviews, and no doubt will there be more. But...I am actually going to split the list up. I am a huge fan of animated shows and live action shows, so it would be very difficult for me to make a blended list of shows. So you get two lists for the price of one on our 2nd anniversary. 15 live action shows, and 15 animated shows. I don't think I'll add anime to the list cause well, we have to start this list sometime, and that will just open a whole nother can of worms, so for today it's just animation from my little corner of the world. It'll take some time to think, but I promise both lists will be put up today. Thank you so much for reading my reviews, here's to another year of it, and enjoy!