Wheels On Meals

Yeah Vanguard really stuck with me so I figured why not see some more.

Believe it or not this movie has been on the review calendar several times but always got pushed back, but I finally saw it and while it was admittedly different from the few Jackie Chan movies I've seen I still really enjoyed it. It's much more a comedy film first with action peppered here and there, and if that turns you off it I still very much urge you to see it for yourself. The plot follows two friends who run a food truck in Spain who get swept up in this kidnapping plot by a bit bumbling detective, as they meet a woman with a penchant for pickpocketing among other characters. Now I will fully say the comedy even for me took me about 20 minutes into the film to really grasp, obviously I haven't seen many comedy movies in the 1980s from China but once I got it, the movie made me laugh a fair bit but even when I wasn't laughing I still had a smile on my face. I was pretty shocked to see the story unfold in Spain, Barcelona to be exact so it really just goes to show Vanguard wasn't the one and only to do such a thing. But the locations look nice and the production while obviously not top tier in terms of budget still gets a lot done and in no small feat for the choreography. It's good old classic martial arts fighting, with guys flying across the room from a hit, that instantly recognizable steak punching sound effect, and some neat-o camera work just for the fun of it. Again, it really isn't wall to wall action but at the same time I didn't have any issue with that because the fights were still engaging and entertaining. Hell I would almost go on record and say for a fact that the fighting was kept to a minimum so you really get your full money's worth with the fight between Jackie and Benny The Jet. Holy hot damn it has been a minute since I've seen a fight that good, no it's not even a fight. It's a duel. It's a duel of high skill and raw power that will probably be replaying in my head for the rest of the day. I wouldn't even be surprised if they said they didn't do much choreography for it and just filmed it like if it was a tournament match, it feels that organic and unscripted. If you had reservations watching this movie, chances are those dissipated while that fight was going on. I'm quite certain this is the first Sammo Hung directed movie I've seen, though I've seen him as one of the martial arts masters in Ip Man 2, and while it is an unashamedly 80s piece of foreign actiony cinema I really liked how he did it all. The slow motion, the unique camera placement for certain shots, the editing, it worked very well for me. Also have to give a nod to the music, it got funky and even had a montage song like any true 80s classic. It's a fun movie with a caper plot, and it's cool to see Jackie in one of his older roles. I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10, good times be found here. Tomorrow we jump closer to the 90s with another Sammo Hung directed film.

He Who Gets Slapped

Once again proving a big distinction between best and personal favorite.

Ever since I first saw this film just a few years ago, it quickly became my favorite of Lon Chaney's films, despite Phantom being his most well known and yes I still consider it a great film, a film I love even, but this story just worked for me. It follows a scientist who is cheated and betrayed by his wealthy patron, and mocked openly at a seminar leading him to go a bit off the rails and takes up being a clown in a circus act, as we get to know a few of the side characters it all culminates in a revenge story which is probably why I love it so much. It still has the romance, and the tragic ending, but revenge while being a worthless cause can elevate storytelling and it works great here. Chaney gives another good performance but yet again I strongly stress his acting quality in The Unknown which was the highlight of the week, but the emotion in his eyes and more subtle moments of acting is really wonderful stuff. I don't know what it is, he just pulls off clown makeup better than anybody I've ever seen. Yeah, even more so than any Joker. In fact I did get ever so slight Joaquin Phoenix vibes from this, a down on his luck lower class guy gets snubbed by an upper class rich guy, goes a bit mental, puts on clown makeup, has someone close to him that he does love but is not reciprocated back, as a clown he becomes this celebrity with hundreds of admirers, and it ends with two people being murdered. Sounds a bit familiar in a way. The quality is quite good, and considering this was the very first film Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer started production on they did a good job, with good sets, huge amounts of extras, very good costumes, some pretty nifty cross dissolve's which was ambitious for that time and they do work quite well, it's a solid movie. It's not often I touch on films that are nearly a century old, but it really does go to show how much things change they stay the same. The world keeps turning, films are still being made, and here I stand amongst billions with such a passion for one of many artful mediums. 4 stars, 8/10, I'll see you next week everyone.

The Unknown

I'm gonna find it difficult this week to see a better performance from Chaney.

Even though tomorrow we look at my personal favorite of his films, I really couldn't ask for better acting from him like ever in this picture. I think it was almost law, regardless of genre or story material, there had to be some love triangle scenario in the silent era, it pretty much is at the forefront of every Lon Chaney film I've seen in my life. So we follow a circus troupe, specifically Alonzo an armless trickshot, Nanon the ring leader's daughter, and Malabar the strong man as romance buds and tragedy is right around the corner. What fascinates me about this film is there actually is no complete print of this movie, which is kind of the shameful reality of it all when it comes to silent cinema. The full runtime was an hour and three minutes, the only surviving print is 50 minutes so you lose about 13 minutes and yet not once does the film seem like it's missing anything. It's a concise, easily understandable, and still engaging story that can be watched in the time of a modern television drama's runtime. Quite a few horror connections in this film, it was directed by Tod Browning who directed two previously reviewed films here on the show, Freaks and the 1931 Dracula. Speaking of Dracula, Bela Lugosi is in a very brief cameo near the beginning of the film. Norman Kerry returns as Malabar, two years after Phantom Of The Opera with Chaney so the trend continues for returning cast members from that film. And Joan Crawford stars as the romantic lead Nanon, who had a long and illustrious career in Hollywood with notable horror examples being in Rod Serling's Night Gallery, and the cult classic Whatever Happened To Baby Jane. Apparently Joan fully commited to acting after watching Chaney perform, and it does go to show what a truly unbelievable figure he was in that time and palce in the world. You get so much great acting out of him in this movie, and I can pin it down to the big emotional breakdown scene he has near the end. Good God, I felt everything in that scene. If people ever wondered or wanted reason why critics and fans praise Lon Chaney's acting ability despite the lack of sound, this is immediately the film I am pointing to. It even has a more cathartic and final ending, cause there is a point where the film could have faded to black, The End, done and over, with actually a pretty solid Rod Serling feel to it now that I think about it, but it gives you that little bit more of an emotional finale which I think works wonderfully. I think it's a great film, cannot even believe it could pop up in the public domain in a few years time, MGM get on top of your movie history, seriously everybody needs to pay more attention to films of the silent and early sound era from the studios that made them to the audiences who still watch them. I dare even say they are more important than cinema breaking films like Star Wars, Citizen Kane, or any blockbuster franchise going on now. We cannot let these films slip into obscurity and out of history, not for anything. 4 stars, 8.5/10, it's been a good week and we still got one more.

Laugh Clown Laugh

I still like the clowns.

Decided to do something a bit different with some silent films this week that all strangely have a circus theme for Lon Chaney this week, but honestly they are some of my favorite films of his. Made during the height of Chaney's popularity the plot involves a circus performer named Tito who one day finds a young girl abandoned in the woods and decides to raise her and names her Simonetta, as time passed and the girl grew up into a young woman Tito feels conflicted emotions on his love for her and quite soon she meets a young count named Luigi Ravelli as a sort of love triangle forms. I say kind of because in an aspect I greatly love and appreciate of the film, it's not this big rivalry between Tito and Luigi for the affection of this woman. In fact they meet while seeing the same doctor, Luigi has bouts of uncontrollable laughter while Tito weeps frequently and they actually decide to help each other out. So they actually have a good standing relationship and both have the intention to bow out gracefully if Simonetta chooses one of them. No nonsense, no fighting, no unecessary drama, just two men who will respect the woman they love's choice on who she wants to be with. Another thing I find interesting is you're not entirely sure how Simonetta feels about Tito, they keep it vague until near the end and it works well because of their relationship. Tito loves her unconditionally and wants her happy but raised her as his daughter so he has a dilemma of whether to confess his love, and Simonetta feels the same very much loving him and doesn't want to leave him but you can't pin down if it's romantic or familial love. It's an incredibly basic story but the performances are what makes it truly worth watching, I hardly think I need to say much about Lon Chaney the man was one of the greatest actors like...ever and can convey so much through facial features, Loretta Young was a mere 15 years old in her first leading role and she handles it very well being able to keep up with the pace of Chaney and is believable in the role, Nils Asther is a good secondary leading man and the writing they gave his character keeps him from being a one note dashing suitor like say Raoul in Phantom Of The Opera, speaking of which Bernard Siegal who played Joseph Bouquet in the 1925 version is the stage partner of Chaney in this film, isn't that neat. I feel the tragedy angle isn't nearly as strong as another film we're gonna look at this week, it focuses on the romance and the internal drama of the characters which is the important part, the tragedy element is really only at the end and while Chaney pulls it off with ease it's not something in the foreground throughout the movie. Production values are really good, the image of Lon Chaney in clown costume is striking and memorable, the version I watched had a score composed by H. Scott Salinas which was actually quite pretty in places and complemented the scenes effectively, and for a movie just a bit over an hour you really don't have much to lose. It's a very good movie, and anytime silent cinema is available to me I have no problem sitting down and watching it even at a much later hour like I did for this movie. Film has barely been around for a 100 years and every era is worth discussing and seeing to distinguish where we were and where we are going from here. 4 stars, 8/10, catch you next time.

The Suicide Squad

Better than The Dark Knight? No. Damn good movie? Yes.

It's probably the most light hearted romp with a hard R rating I've ever seen in my life, juxtapositioning gnarly brutal gore and violence with light comedy and fun characters. The story follows two teams of Task Force X as they are sent to the known DC locale of Corto Maltese to investigate and shut down a government operation known as Starfish as the body count rises and we get to see good adaptations of DC characters both returning and new. Now I still stand by my review of the 2016 original, I still like it, I felt the studio should have kept it's big noses out of a director's work, but it is a movie I enjoy and would call good so this is not devolving to a, well clearly the new Suicide Squad movie is better than that trash. F*** yourself! They're two different movies and both are fine. Granted this one feels strangely a lot similar to the first movie and yet so different. It's heavily stylized, the camera work is more intricate, the blood factor is almost comical in it's excess, and each character gets a good smidge of backstory and personality. It could easily be seen as it's own thing but there's lots to connect it to the first which I like. While I couldn't bash the casting of the original hard, this one is mighty spot on giving the actors to make the character their own and not just feel like they are playing a character in a tight box. Margot Robbie is still royalty, Idris Elba is and has been the man, Daniela Melchior is my moon and stars in this movie, David Dastmalchian is mighty good but I still lean heavily towards his Calendar Man performance, and Sylvester Stallone as King Shark easily was the best character of them all. Yes even above Harley, he's that good, I said it. But even the side characters like Viola Davis, Peter Capaldi, and Michael Rooker were all great. The story is linear and might not make much sense when you break it down but I can truly see this as a movie people will watch again and again. The effects I felt were really good, maybe not enough practical gore but that's a small gripe, King Shark and Starro look good and have spot on textures plus they just have fun with it. I also feel the comedy was balanced, it could have a serious moment, it could have action without a comedy beat, this movie flat out says f*** your feelings they'll kill anyone without hesitation, and I know there will be some jackass chucklehead who will just say, oh it shows how bad the DC movies are that they have to take MCU directors to make their movies better, to which I reply with a quote from the movie "Eat a big bag of dicks." and f***ity bye. It's really good stuff, despite the fact they killed nearly every character I liked a lot so the verdict is .5/10. I'm just kidding, it upsets me but I'll get over. 4 stars, 8.5/10, this will be the last new movie for a bit but there's always stuff to talk about. Be good people.

Batman The Long Halloween

Thank you God.

Good news! It didn't suck. In fact....it's right up there with The Dark Knight Returns and Superman Red Son for me. There is a lot to talk about without spoilers so I will attempt to keep this coherent. The first thing I gotta say is, the film had me on two fronts from the start. The first shot of the Gotham skyline is absolutely gorgeous and the opening titles are easily the best out of the modern animated DC movies. If Matt Reeve's The Batman has an opening even half as good as this, it may get a 10/10. I'm so thankful we didn't have to wait long for part 2, and was actually quite curious where they would split the film. I very much liked and appreciated how they handled this story, with a long game of holiday related murders leading Batman, Jim, and Harvey to figure out who the mysterious killer is as boundaries are pushed on all sides. It's a very complicated case man, a lot of in's, a lot of out's, a lot of what have you's. I actually went and read The Long Halloween before watching the whole film and there was so much in that book that I was wondering how they would put it to the screen, because the book is very much a detective story with not a lot of action, it's stylized as all hell with at least a dozen Sin City parts composed of black, white, and red but I can safely say I love the production. The animation is absolutely great, the backgrounds are impeccable and the character designs have these thick black outlines that give this mix of The Brave And The Bold with Venture Bros., I kinda like how minimalistic yet striking the batsuit is in this it gave me heavy season 4 of The Animated Series vibes. Cast is wonderful and brings nothing short of their A-game, with Jensen Ackles getting the promotion to Batman since Under The Red Hood and has such a strong great voice and as a Supernatural fan I was impressed how much I didn't just hear Dean in the role. Naya Rivera is right up there with the all time greats of Catwoman voice acting in this, she was a joy to watch and I have nothing but love and respect for her. Josh Duhamel taking on my favorite Batman villain was also spot on, I adored the relationship between Harvey and his wife Gilda you can really get that sense of true romance in their perfomances and the same goes for Bruce and Selina, but yeah he was mighty good as Harvey and I swear he sounded just like the original Animated Series Two-Face near the end, way to go my guy. Wonderful to see Troy Baker back as Joker, how I missed this man in this role, despite not a load of screen time. The absolute stand out performance, believe it or not, is once again the man of a thousand DC characters David Dastmalchian as the Calendar Man. Best performance I've seen him give yet in the DC universe, can't wait for Suicide Squad, and while I always hear Maurice LaMarche from the Arkham Games when I read the comics he is awesome in this part! Here's to many more future parts my friend. And the absolute best part is that they treat the story seriously and not only that but it's a total run time of about 3 hours so it doesn't rush, you would be surprised how many quiet moments there are in this film. It really struck me that they just focus on these characters, cause at the end of the day a lot of the graphic novel did the same. I can't tell you how much I love it. Sure they change stuff, streamline stuff, yet it really didn't bother me and something struck me that really needs to happen to more people. A lot of people shit on adaptations, oh it didn't follow the book exactly, oh they changed this element, and I was sitting there thinking why would you want to watch a movie where you know exactly everything that is about to happen? Cause this movie kept me guessing, I was wondering where they were going with it cause the book ends on kind of an open note where debate and discussion is encouraged, so it didn't feel like a carbon copy of the book. They did their own thing while still adhering to the story of the original work and paying respect to it. That is no bad thing. I did however take a bit of grievance with two things, one being the ending that seemed out of left field and contributed nothing, I liked the book ending way better. Second is the movie projects Batman as a crimefighter but not a detective, it even brings up multiple times how Bruce didn't expect to be a detective. Bollocks! Great bolshy yarblockos to you! I know this kinda follows the events after Batman Year One so he isn't flawless in his technique, but seriously are you taking the piss? He studied how to be a detective! Urgh, but other than that excellent film. A serious fullhearted recommendation, 4 stars, 8.5/10 maybe even a 9, now I think the only big story they need to cover now is Knightfall. But time will tell, and I will see you Friday.

Batman Soul Of The Dragon

The second I heard this concept I knew I was game for it.

An Elseworlds tale of Batman in the 1970s, with influences of martial arts, Bond, and weird cults, sign me the hell up! And I actually can fully grant this a strong rating, I had a real good time with this movie. You can tell the director knew exactly what he wanted to do, taking so many elements from so many sources and incorporating it to make a solid good movie. You get a bit of Bond at the beginning with a flat out call back to The Living Daylights, you get the oriental martial arts stuff like Enter The Dragon and even some Big Trouble In Little China stuff, and it fully embraces the 70s style, jargon, and aesthetic. I do however feel the title is a bit misleading, it genuinely is the one thing I actually don't like about the movie because Batman is like in two scenes. Oh Bruce is present almost from the word go, but you really only see the cape and cowl on two occasions which is a shame because I really like how it adapted Neal Adams 1970s suit, with the grey and blue with the yellow bat symbol, I could kinda argue the cowl looks off but everything else looks so good. The story is more an ensemble with Batman, Bronze Tiger, Shiva, and more obscure character Richard Dragon as we kinda delve into Bruce's training and them hunting down this weird syndicate/cult led by Kobra who I briefly mistook for Copperhead. It's a simple but good story and the cast brings that perfect balance between serious and fun, David Giuntoli has a strong good voice for Batman and I believe this is the first time he has done the role and he did a mighty good job I'd say. Michael Jai White is excellent casting for Bronze Tiger, and to see some Black Dynamite influence in the movie made me a very happy camper. It was so great seeing Kelly Hu back as Shiva after playing Arkham Origins so many years ago, she's awesome and brings a lot more to the character than before so nothing but love from me there. Mark Dacascos while sharing the lead with David does a good job and gives a proper good introduction to this character I find, you can obviously see the Bruce Lee inspiration yet still retains an identity of his own. We even get friggin' James Hong, bless that man, we get David Lo Pan and he is perfect as always. I knew it was him instantly and I was thrilled to have him in this. The animation was also spot on, having great fluidity for the action scenes and worked great with the aesthetic of the time period, hell this movie had me at opening credits seeing that 70s Warner Bros. logo told me everything I needed to know about the visuals in this film. And I gotta say, I was about to go on the rant again about another R rated DC animated movie, yet it actually kinda warranted it and didn't even attempt some horseshit sex nonsense, it delievers some blood and some deaths without it reaching that animated Mortal Kombat movie levels I reviewed earlier this year, so shit I'm kinda stumped what to say next. It's a good movie, solid but not outta sight, 4 stars, 8/10. Well worth a rental and if you're hardcore about the animated DC stuff, is a welcome addition to the collection in my opinion. What did I review last time that was animated DC? Wonder Woman Bloodlines and Superman Red Son, those were pretty good too so I hope the trend continues as we talk next time about the highly anticipated The Long Halloween. Please God. Please. Don't be bad. When it comes to the big proper beloved titles of the Batman it has been some hit and miss, so fingers crossed guys. See you then.